Wednesday, January 13, 2016

JINGO JERKOFFS.

A U.S. Navy vessel floated into Iranian waters and was detained by Iran along with its sailors, who were fed and sheltered for 16 hours and released. Wingnuts are furious that they didn't have time to put up yellow ribbons, and also with shame, because Iran didn't just say "go ahead and float around the place, guys -- it's not like we don't have some history." Even worse, we apologized for the incursion, and the Party of Trump doesn't go for that! At National Review David French finds a picture of the sailors sitting on a rug, and reacts as if they were cartoons of defiled American maidens in old jingo propaganda:
This photograph violates international law. Article 13 of the Geneva Convention (III), governing the treatment of prisoners of war, requires Iran to protect prisoners against “insults and public curiosity.” This photograph — including a female sailor apparently forced to wear a headscarf – is a quintessential example of “public curiosity” and would be interpreted as insulting throughout the Muslim world. (And if you don’t think Iran is in a state of armed conflict against the United States, tell that to the families of hundreds of American soldiers who’ve lost their lives to Iranians and Iranian-backed terrorists.)
"I understand you lost your boy in the War against Iran." "Huh?"
The sight of members of the American military, disarmed and under Iranian control, is of enormous propaganda value in Iran’s ongoing war against the United States. To its allies in the Middle East, the photo demonstrates Iran’s strength – how many jihadist countries have had this many American servicemembers under their power? – and it demonstrates American weakness,
Thus does Rouhani build morale for the American invasion! Meanwhile Erick Erickson wants to blow something up to show how fightin' mad he is as a red-blooded, ham-faced American. After all, Reagan blew something up in '88! He did so after one of our ships hit an Iranian mine, which Erikson doesn't mention -- nor does he mention that we were protecting supply lines for our buddy Saddam Hussein at the time. But never mind that -- blowing shit up is patriotic, but Obama won't do it so America is humiliated while Iran is "flexing its muscle in order to show the world that even the United States must at times bow to the Islamic Republic of Iran."

Ed Morrissey of Hot Air is mad that the sailors had to sit on a carpet, like they was Ay-rabs or something. "Iran had no chairs or couches for their 'guests' to use?" he thunders. Also they had to eat Ay-rab food -- not hamburgers and Cokes like real Americans! So much for your Geneva Conventions!

You see the problem. This ain't the U.S.S. Pueblo; the sailors were home in less than a day and seem to have suffered no ill effects. But conservatives have to at least try to gin up outrage over it, because military strength is one of their equities, and if Americans are content to settle these things with an apology and some hummus, it makes Republicans look like blustering idiots.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

SOTU NRO LOL.


Hee hee.


Hee hee hee.


Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee 


Ah, I see their tweets are slowing down:

And getting pissy:

And when Obama talks against racism, David French gets even more David Frenchy:

And Kevin D. Williamson gets more Sparky, or drunk:

Now, I could go that same route -- like, "Bleargh attend my words earthlings my avatar is a FOUNDING FATHER"--

But, as Charles Laughton said in Advise and Consent, "I can afford to be charitable." Whatever you think of Obama and his SOTUs, you have to admit a large check in his favor is how mad he makes the biggest assholes in America.

Oh, and in conclusion...

...fart.

Ultimately it was a forgettable State of the Union Address – as most are. But there is one way it will be extremely memorable. President Obama not only celebrated his ridiculous and dangerous Iran deal in his remarks, but he totally ignored the fact that Iran captured 10 U.S. sailors today. The administration is telling reporters it’s not big deal and they will all be released in the morning, Iran time. 
I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to tell you that the sailors were released about five hours later. But let's see how Goldberg prepared for this eventuality:
Well, if that’s true, the incident will likely be quickly forgotten. But, if it turns out that this becomes anything like a hostage situation, Obama’s final State of the Union will may be remembered as symbolic of his denial and delusions. It could make his claim, right before the Paris attacks, that ISIS is “contained” seem like a minor gaffe.
If only a terrorist had killed Obama during his speech! That would have been highly ironic!
My hopeful expectation is that won’t happen, and we will get our sailors back ASAP. But even if that does happen, I have every expectation that Iran will commit some other deed that will make Obama’s confidence seem ridiculous. Because on the Iran deal, and so many other things, his confidence is ridiculous.
One of these days the Iran-America deal will slip up, and when it does Detective Goldberg will be there to catch it. At least he hopes so: He's not very good at hiding, not least because when he gets nervous he flatulates like the 124-foot pedal on a pipe organ.

Monday, January 11, 2016

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about the rightbloggers' latest spasms of gunsense spurred by Obama's executive actions last week.

Longtime readers may know I have more sympathy with the 2nd Amendment absolutists than most liberals. But when I read shit like what I had to pick through for this column, and actually pay attention to their distortions and willful hysterics, it's hard to miss that conservatives are far less interested in the Constitutional right to dispense 800 rounds a minute at will than they are in maintaining a political equity that keeps their more bellicose constituents happy.

Friday, January 08, 2016

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN.


Funeral today tomorrow. Words of wisdom from the deceased. 

•   When Obama said he was going to do all those gun orders, Charles C.W. Cooke did a long, weirdly wound-up post called "President Obama Has Let His Emotion Get the Better of His Judgment":
Has Obama lost his mind? This is a man, remember, who is supposed to be admirably dispassionate; a man who is supposed to understand how the game is played; a man who is supposed to reflexively refuse to be taken in by the emotion of the moment. And yet he’s going to use a good deal of his last year’s political capital in order to tweak a few minor rules around the edges? Why?
Also, "Which is to say that Obama’s behavior is not at all rational," "Even if he wins this round, he will have done precisely nothing of merit," "Were I a gun control advocate I’d be livid with him. Livid," "Obama has let his emotion get the better of him here. He and his fellow travelers will likely pay a price," etc. Lots of italics, there, Chuck. Today we see what he was so hysterical about: A CNN poll finds that, while they disapprove of Obama using executive orders to do it, the American people approve of his gun control measures 67%-32%. Even 51% of Republicans and most gun owners support the measures. The respondents are also skeptical that the measures will work, which makes sense -- but what a pity CNN didn't also ask why they were skeptical, and list "because the Republicans will do everything they can to fuck it up" among the possible choices. (Extra credit, BTW, to Breitbart.com, which headlines its poll coverage "CNN POLL: MAJORITY OPPOSE USE OF EXECUTIVE ACTIONS FOR GUN CONTROL" and adds this kicker: "The majority of respondents to the CNN/ORC poll were not gun owners. Only 40 percent said there is even a gun in their house." So how can true patriots even take them serious! Show us a poll taken by gun owners instead, preferably not while they're on the way to the emergency room.)

•   So many examples, but I might as well take one of the more egregious, from The Federalist:
Hillary Clinton Should Stop Excusing Juanita Broaddrick’s Sexual Assault
Juanita Broaddrick recently opened up on Twitter over her sexual assault by Bill Clinton and Hillary's dismissal of her suffering.
Look on the bright side: At least there's one woman in America conservatives believe was raped. Favorite kicker and author bio on the subject, from Newsday:
I’ve often wondered how she and Juanita Broaddrick and Eileen Wellstone and Sandra Allen James and Christy Zercher, among others, have felt watching Bill Clinton go on to become a revered national and international statesman. 
If Trump can give them a second hearing in the court of public opinion, maybe his candidacy is worth something after all. 
William F. B. O’Reilly is a Republican consultant.
I guess it could be true -- the guy pushed through NAFTA, after all, so in my book he's capable of anything.

•   How about a quick run through the gibberish pits of the culture war? Ross Douthat did something for National Review that defies analysis....
And then there’s pop culture itself. In the original Back to the Future, Marty McFly invaded his father’s sleep dressed as “Darth Vader from the planet Vulcan.” Thirty years later, the biggest blockbuster of 2015 was about . . . Darth Vader’s grandchildren. It is directed by a filmmaker who’s coming off rebooting . . . Star Trek. And the wider cinematic landscape is defined by . . . the recycling of comic-book properties developed between the 1940s and the 1970s. Even fashion shows a similar repetition, as Kurt Anderson pointed out in Vanity Fair several years ago...
Yeah whatever beardo, fast forward:
...we’re dealing with issues (from an aggressive Russia to, yes, Libyan-linked terrorist groups) that Marty and “Doc” Brown would recognize immediately. (Though in fairness, we do make movies about colonizing Mars, and the special effects are excellent.) 
The word for this kind of civilizational situation is “decadence.”
Well, at least it's highfalutin' and incoherent. Most of the current cultwar crop is quotidian propagandist yak: Operatives like John C. Goodman and Steven Hayward, for example, instructing their minions to see The Big Short as an indictment not of unregulated greedheads wrecking the economy, but of poor people getting mortgages. Connoisseurs of longform cultwar can take in Kyle Smith, who at Commentary tells us that Hollyweird often changes the details of supposedly "true stories" -- not to make them more dramatic, as you may have thought, but to please their Stalinist masters! Keep fucking that culture war chicken, comrades.

•   Speaking of culture warriors, Virginia Postrel says David O. Russell's Joy is better than The Social Network (a movie from five years ago) because it's nicer to capitalism:
The respect extends to products and customers. “Joy” acknowledges the wealth-creating value of incremental improvements even in the most mundane items.
Book my seats now!
...Most of all, however, “Joy” makes its protagonist an untragic hero. She gets tough and she gets rich, but she winds up neither lonely nor mean. 
Mildred Pierce was originally like that, but FDR made them change it to promote socialism.
Audiences embraced Sorkin’s compelling but dark fable of the friendless tycoon as if it were a much sunnier story. The real-world triumph of Facebook overpowered the fictional desolation of "The Social Network." 
“Watching this movie makes you want to run from the theatre, grab your laptop and build your own empire,” wrote one moviegoer. If Hollywood won’t give people an inspiring movie about big-time entrepreneurship, audiences will imagine their own version.
Hollywood's always trying to tell us that ambition may isolate us from other people, but that's just because they're communists; what regular people really see in The Social Network is wealth production -- because why else would anyone see a movie except to celebrate an economic theory? The whole thing's full of howlers, but here's my favorite part:
Hollywood regularly produces positive movies about small businesses, often in the hospitality industry. “Chef,” “The 100-Foot Walk,” and “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” come to mind.
But really, what's the point of these recommendations when audiences will imagine their own versions? Helps her meet her word count, I guess.

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

WHAT IS THE CORRECT PRONUNCIATION OF "BULLSHIT"?


I already addressed it on Twitter, but I wanted to make sure everyone I know sees this. It's one of those things our descendants will look at and go, "Oh, so that's why they choked to death on their own waste."

UPDATE. I mean, shoot, that ending:
For now, there is nothing notable about pronouncing these words as “muz-lim” or “IZ-lahm,” but one day there might be. One can’t help but wonder whether these words will truly become a kind of political Shibboleth. Pretty soon we might be outing ourselves as so-called Islamaphobes, simply for pronouncing a word the wrong way.
Somebody tell her PC Camp also awaits honkies who call it "quin-oh-ah." I'd feel sorry for her if I thought she actually suffered from this persecution mania, but I expect she's just trying to instill it in whatever rubes actually read this shit.

ONE-STOOP SHOPPING

Announcing a brand-new supermarket of rightwing barf -- The Resurgent, brainchild of onetime CNN commentator and RedState kingpin Erick Erickson. Why'd he start it?
Our desire at The Resurgent is to build a website unafraid of any arc of history imposed by men knowing that history ultimately bends towards our Creator and His is the side of history on which we should stand.
So, for nuts, then, and perhaps also to funnel wingnut welfare to conservative writers -- Erickson belly-aches that "boycott and harassment of advertisers by the left" has made it hard to generate income with these grifts, but he expects to support the thing with weekly sponsorships drawn by the lovely site design ("Try printing this page. Seriously. Just look at the thought we put into the print template. It is gorgeous") and the brilliance of his copy. "I want to control every pixel so if I get blamed for something, I will actually deserve the blame," he says, and he's not kidding: Some of the articles are by Steve Berman, mostly Ted Cruz rah-rah disguised as horse-race journalism ("Sen. Ted Cruz has the left running scared... he was mobbed by adoring fans like he was Mick Jagger crowdsurfing at a Stones concert," etc). But most of the current output is by the boss himself, and indeed the site bears his distinctive, belligerent-in-a-Barcalounger stamp. Let us review his first offerings:

"Republicans and the Lessons of 2014." Mostly pimping ("Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is your must read of the day") a National Journal story about how the radicals are taking the GOP over from fuddy-duddies like Paul Ryan, possibly leading to a Trump nomination. Erickson claims not to like Trump, especially since Trump was mean to prospective future Erickson employer Fox News, but he hates the Republican Establishment more, enough that he'd chain the party to a buffoon-led disaster and then scavenge the saving remnants. Bonus quote: "...I can give you names of tons of activists who, for example, would not even consider Rick Perry this go round because he hired Henry Barbour after the Cochran mess."

"The One Thing We Know About The GOP’s Response to Obama on Guns." The Republican Establishment will do nothing to stop Obama's fascist gun takeover. And what does this tell us?
The very reason Barack Obama can get away with what he is doing is the very same reason China is building islands in the South China Sea, Putin is helping Syria, and ISIS is spreading like a virus. The only force willing to block them is impotent, just as the only force willing to stop Obama is impotent.
Apparently the boss wants so much control he won't hire an editor for himself. Charitably, this glurge might mean that Obama is a sissy before Xi Jinping, Putin, and ISIS, but the Republican Establishment is even sissier because they're sissies before sissy Obama. "The only force willing to stop Obama is impotent" is a puzzle, though: Maybe Erickson has some nut, driven by despair over his erectile dysfunction to consider killing Obama, holed up at his klavern.

Speaking of which...

"Our Impotent President." Obummer cried over those kids at Sandy Hook but "never shed a tear over the innocent lives butchered in the Planned Parenthood videos..." All he ever does is hold press conferences -- "the Washington equivalent of viagra" which "only scratches the itch of 'JUST DO SOMETHING,'" and "ignore he really can’t get up to anything more than a pregnant pause these days," ha ha. This is a real Erickson hallmark: While his contemporaries like to tell us Obama is a tyrant, Erickson prefers to demean him with sexual imagery -- see "Barack Obama is Vladimir Putin’s Submissive Gimp," "Barack Obama is a Moral Coward and Fluffer of Totalitarians," etc. If Erickson gets anywhere the 2016 candidate's image-making apparatus, we can expect lots of rape-porn images of Hillary Clinton.

Perhaps related:

"Rubio Slams Christie Pretty Hard." "It slams him pretty hard and I suspect it is going to leave a mark."

There are also video and audio modules, but life's too fucking short. Final analysis: If there's room for one more angry white man in the hearts of wingnuts, Erickson has the inside track

WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR HEROES....

This week Conor Friedersdorf cried The people united will never be defeated! and asked his brothers and sisters to make common cause with the Bundy gang in Oregon because they, too, are against mandatory minimums -- at least for their fed-threatening wise-use buddies, the Hammonds. But the Bundy gang's demands have nothing to do with mandatory minimums -- they want Gummint land for themselves and their pals, which belongs to them by some unspecified right having to do, one would guess, with their folksiness and skintone:
BURNS, Ore. (AP) - A leader of the small, armed group that is occupying a remote national wildlife preserve in Oregon said Tuesday they will go home when a plan is in place to turn over management of federal lands to locals. 
Ammon Bundy told reporters at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge that ranchers, loggers and farmers should have control of federal land - a common refrain in a decades-long fight over public lands in the West. 
"It is our goal to get the logger back to logging, the rancher back to ranching," said the son of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, who was involved in a high-profile 2014 standoff with the government over grazing rights... 
Earlier, Bundy offered few specifics about the group's plan to get the land turned over to local control. But [Arizona rancher LaVoy] Finicum said the group would examine the underlying land ownership transactions to begin to "unwind it."
But word must have been passed to the gang's Minister of Information of Friedersdorf's bullshit, because they're at least making a show of outreach: Ammon Bundy compared the gang's armed seizure of federal land to Rosa Parks (*see update, below) -- a schtick I remember from the original Bundy caper in 2014:


Bundy got another chance to show some downness-with-the-peopleness in an interview with Margaret Corvid at Jacobin, but he just couldn't quite do it -- see if you can guess why!
Millions who have never heard of your movement are now watching your actions, and some say you’re a racist. How would you respond to them, and how do you feel about the Black Lives Matter protests and the police reaction to them? 
In today’s society if someone doesn’t have the same views as you they consider you racist. That’s just how I see it. I don’t know a lot about the Black Lives Matter movement but I know their initial protest involved lots of looting and violence towards businesses and innocent citizens which I do not agree with. I do agree with them standing up for what they believe in. I just think during their protest they were unorganized and not well-planned.
Corvid gave Bundy a big, fat pitch that could have bought him some cred with lefties, and he basically said it was good for people to stand up for what they believe in but hey, those guys were violent, we're only threatening violence, and unlike those looters, we're organized and well-planned; now please send us some snacks. (I wonder why Corvid didn't ask Bundy about three-strikes drug laws. That would have been an entertaining exchange.)

I don't like mandatory minimums and I'm willing to entertain the notion, at least, that the arsonists in this case don't deserve theirs, despite their belligerent history. But that's not what the current protest is about -- it's about seizing government land. which I guarantee you would not in such a case be equitably distributed among We the People, but would instead get funneled to the usual shitheels whose cries for devolution of government resources always come down to "gimme."

*UPDATE. Apparently that Rosa Parks tweet was a hoax. Bundy's restraint in the Jacobin interview makes more sense now: The idea of comparing himself to black liberationists must have never occurred to him,

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

NEXT: IS "JEOPARDY" MAKING US ANSWER EVERYTHING IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION?

A Federalist essay by Melissa Langsam Braunstein, "a former U.S. Department of State speechwriter":
Finding love is hard. Making love deepen and last is even harder. If reality TV is any indication, love has gone off the rails in America.
If reality TV is any indication, I'm joining ISIS.
Contrary to so much of what women read about modern romance, the men on FYI’s reality show “Married at First Sight” are eager to commit. It’s the women who are either ambivalent or outright negative. 
Maybe the men are feebs and losers.
They say they want love and marriage, but it’s not clear they are all relationship-ready. 
And I suspect feminism is part of the problem.
Of course! Why else would game show contestants who agreed to marry a stranger to be on TV decline intimacy?
...David, the only participant whose parents reportedly had a loving marriage, lost his father at age seven. He commits eagerly, while his wife Ashley is incredibly skittish. Ashley declines physical contact and is an emotional wall.
That bitch!
Vanessa, who hasn’t spoken to her father since her parents divorced during her high school years, worries her new husband, Tres, isn’t committed. Tres, whose own mother abandoned him in toddlerhood, feeds Vanessa’s fears by saying he hadn’t actually been looking for marriage.
Actually he's been looking for a career in trash TV, but is now thinking Vines was the better way to go.
It’s only after a revealing chat with the show’s psychologist that the honeymooning Vanessa relaxes and agrees to give Tres another chance. In the most recent episode, they both demonstrate an interest in care-taking. Tres offers to pay the larger portion of rent since he earns more, and Vanessa cooks dinner. This combination of trust and mutual care-taking make Tres and Vanessa the season’s most promising match.
That and the hand jobs.

The rest lacks even this much coherence, so I'll just dish you some fragments:
Abuse and constant conflict clearly justify a divorce petition, but does dissatisfaction?
When conservatives finally Take Back America, spouses who want to separate will be obliged to demonstrate that they're not divorcing whimsically, the way you might, say, shoot a guy who pulled into your driveway.
In recent decades, boys have been told that they must not be overtly masculine, let alone chivalrous, because that would be sexist.
That's true -- all the young parents I know are teaching their male offspring to go to the playground and shove girls off the swings. They figure it'll get 'em ready for that dystopian socialist society we're all planning on as soon as you cracker motherfuckers die off.

Monday, January 04, 2016

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about the Bundys and their moron-labe crusade in Oregon. As the original Cliven Bundy clownshow in 2014 showed, straight-up insurrectionist sentiment has become part of mainstream conservatism, and now we see not only the usual crackpots but also allegedly serious writers like Glenn Reynolds and Jazz Shaw siding with the crazies. Speaking of crazy, here's Kurt Schlichter -- a frequent guest on talk shows for some reason -- discussing the matter at The Federalist:
There’s no denying that the Oregon action is contrary to the rule of law. But then, is there really a rule of law anymore, at least for the kind of people who participated in this action?... 
You look at it from their perspective, and you see an Obama administration that enforces two sets of laws. Its opponents, like troublesome ranchers, get the Department of Justice going to the Court of Appeals to send them away for longer terms than the judge would impose over relatively minor misbehavior. 
But friends of the administration like Hillary commit crimes...
The sheeple think it's the rich who get away with everything, when in reality it's Hitlery Klintoon! Someone should write a tea-party version of The Silver Box for Schlichter to star in ("she took the purse -- she took the purse but [in a muffled shout] it's Saul Alinsky got 'er off--JUSTICE!"). Then Schlichter tells us we better watch out because his buddies the Bundy boys represent a "pre-insurgency with terrifying potential to expand" that's had enough of your gay wedding cakes and is a-fixin' to muscle America into doing what they want:
When they do make their will clear at the voting booth, like with gay marriage, five judges on the coast tell them their vote doesn’t count, and if they don’t submit and bake a wedding cake their life savings will be taken. Now you can argue about whether they are right to feel this way, but the reality we need to deal with is that they do feel this way. Simply telling them to shut up and accept it isn’t going to work—this situation in Oregon is going to be repeated until they feel they are being heard... 
But these guys are spread out over the rural West. Many of these guys are themselves ex-military. They are not street thugs. I bet few of them even have a criminal record. They have sympathizers—and some of them are law enforcement.
That they're resorting to threats, and using a bunch of numbnuts in a bird sanctuary to back it up, says a lot about the modern conservative movement. Anyway, read the column, my editor left in most of the jokes.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

NOT A DOG IN THE BUNCH.

Batocchio of Vagabond Scholar -- which site I for some reason never had on my blogroll before now -- has done his annual great job of collecting 2015 blog posts chosen by the authors themselves for the Jon Swift Memorial Roundup. You should go sample some -- you might find a genius or two you hadn't seen before.

You'll also find one by me there --  that riff I did on Ben Affleck's family tree problems in April. Which reminds me: As much fun as I had with the Village Voice rightblogger round-up last weekend, I believe it was missing something -- namely, shameless self-promotion! To follow are my 10 favorite posts of 2015 by my favorite author, me! If you missed 'em before, it's not too late. Happy New Year, all, and don't drive drunk -- stay home and finish that keg yourselves.

A Week of Shorter Rod Drehers. In which I chart America's favorite Xian drama queen, post by post, for seven days ("4/6/15, 5:35 pm: The gays are oppressing us Christians. 4/7/15, 12:05 am: Facebook and the gay drag queens are oppressing us Christians. 4/7/15, 5:08 am: Buy my book...").

It Can't Miss. A memo from the Central Committee to the Brethren on how to handle the Bruce Jenner thing ("The theme we’ll be promoting is this: Conservatives are not only the real liberals — they’re also the real gays").

Have a Miserable National Review Christmas! A look at what America's premier conservative magazine chose to present to its readers on Christmas Eve ("How could we have guessed [Victor Davis] Hanson would spend Christmas bitching about furriners? Guess he never got over the loss of his chainsaw").

My Advice for the Republican Party. What I told them they should do with their first debate, but they didn't listen, the idiots ("just say to hell with decorum entirely and flood the stage with other joke candidates who will distract from [Trump]. Some possibilities: A Howard Stern fan who just says 'Baba Booey, Baba Booey'...").

What to Expect. Speaking of the first GOP debate, I had to miss it, so I just made one up for my readers and I must say from what I heard mine was better ("George Pataki will be found dead, his face pressed against the crack at the bottom of the door of the auditorium like Injun Joe in Tom Sawyer").

Heritage and Hate. An interview with Beauregard T. Dogwhistle, a member of the Fritters, Alabama city council, on the controversy over the Confederate flag ("Whah, suh, there ain’t no moah racism in thet requiahment o’ mah dignity than they is in mah flag, o’ mah unifo’m, o mah collection o’ manacles an’ slave collahs an’ such lahk, no mattah what them statist rapscallions at eBay say about it").

This Used to Be My Playground. Spurred by yet another essay on New York in the 70s, I talked about my own experience of that place and time, and why it was still interesting to people who weren't there ("I don’t think they thrill to it because they desire to be mugged; I think they like it because they suspect that the danger came with something they would want, but can no longer get on any terms. And they're right").

Season 7, Episode 14. The last of my Mad Men recaps ("Don has always been an empath who, because of his emotional damage, is uniquely attuned to the pain of average citizens, and when he sees a valuable crop of it he gets in there and grabs and holds it close to drain its essence. And then turns it into a commercial. He is what America has instead of artists").

Au Revoir, Niedermeyer. A farewell to Presidential candidate Scott Walker ("I wouldn't say I felt bad for the guy, but it must be something to have pandered your ass off for months and then discover that it wasn't enough to be a bully -- you had to act like a bully, too").

Twenty Minutes Wasted with Goldberg and Murray. In which I did a scorn-language interpretation of a promo interview between two of the worst people in the world, Jonah Goldberg and Charles Murray ("'what [academia] looks like is people making a pretty good salary relative to what they could make in the private sector,' that magical place where PhDs are forced to work at Starbucks and millionaires only break a sweat during squash or rough sex...").

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

ANOTHER MOMENTARY OUTBREAK OF REPUBLICAN CIVIL LIBERTARIANISM.

So Obama continued the ancient tradition of spying on our allies and found Netanyahu conspiring to fuck up the Iran deal with some Congressmen. Right sport, say I, but conservatives pretend it's triple #Benghazi. The slightly-less-duplicitous among them, such as Jazz Shaw of Hot Air, even while huffing that "this smells of a Nixonian enemies list" (how dare you allow your surveillance of Mr. Big to reveal that my clients were his flunkies!) has to admit that "we spy on our friends and our friends spy on us. Nobody likes it very much, but it’s the way the world works." The real shitheels don't bother. (For the record, I'm much less exercised by spying on Angela Merkel et alia than I am by spying on U.S. citizens.)

And in a special category are those who actually seem to think Obama invented it, like Even-Steven bipartisan  Ron Fournier: "Democrats," he thundertweets, "If you allow your guy to do this, no complaints when the next GOP POTUS runs amuck with Obama precedent." I expect we're also not supposed to complain when President Cruz spends three trillion dollars fucking up the Middle East some more, because Polk invaded Mexico in 1847 and he was a Democrat.

Anyway, enjoy this latest libertarian moment while it lasts, which is until they all remember it's time to spy on Muslim-Americans.

UPDATE. I think I'm funnier, but you should probably still read Glenn Greenwald on the subject instead of me. Oh, you already read mine? Well, still go ahead. (I didn't know that about Jane Harman; it's very disappointing.)

UPDATE 2.
It's kinda fun to watch Jonathan S. Tobin chasing his own tail at Commentary, but nothing else in it can top the beginning:
The unfortunate implications of Edward Snowden’s leaks of security information have been many...
As often, I suspect a lot of these things are written on a bet.



Tuesday, December 29, 2015

SEDUCED INTO GAYNESS! ONE WOMAN'S STORY.

Not that D.C. McAllister of The Federalist had ever written anything that made sense to me before (Sample: "If we’re going to warn people of the perils of Big Gulps and French fries, shouldn’t we warn them of the dangers of sex?"), but when she started talking about how some people, particularly children and butch dudes, have problems with sexuality and friendship I thought she was in the ballpark at least of rational discourse:
Just this morning I was watching Fox NFL Sunday, and Terry Bradshaw was talking about how he was excited by Howie Long the first time he saw him play. The eruption of uncomfortable laughter was expected. But he kept on, saying how Long “took his breath away”—which incited even more snickers. 
While I grinned, having seen this same scenario played out over and over again, I was also saddened, because I saw it as just one more knock on a kind of love we desperately need in our lives—passionate, nonsexual love. But we’re so uncomfortable with the expression of intimate, familiar feelings among men that we’ve given it its own name—bromance. 
I should have known when she started quoting C.S. Lewis that things would go badly wrong (quoting Chesterton is also a useful warning sign). Ditto when she started ranking on Romanticism and The Sexual Revolution. Then:
Let me illustrate this point with two men—let’s call them Steve and Paul—who are both very expressive in their feelings. This is an important distinction because it’s no accident that the top personality types by a large margin for people who identity as homosexual are “feeling types” —INFP and INFJ for women, and ESFJ and ENFJ for men.
Steve and Paul—two highly extroverted-feeling men—meet one another and they have an immediate connection and common interests. The effect of a Puritanical attitude still pervasive in our culture says “Don’t show affection, be controlled with your feelings.” But that’s not who they are. They’re passionate... 
Maybe, if they lived in times past, when men had places where they could really connect as men, they could express themselves in some way. But that’s not the case in modern culture with fluid interaction between the sexes and lack of “man-only space.” So what do they do with their feelings now? Suppress them or show them? 
Not sure what's wrong with "fluid interaction between the sexes" (I could go for some right now!), nor why guys who need a "man-only space" can't just join the Man Scouts and go hang out under a bridge, but okay.
One would hope they can simply show them, but because of the impact of sexualization, they interpret that expression in a sexual way. As a result, the two men either don’t want to be thought of as gay (because they’re not, not because they necessarily think homosexuality is wrong), and they withdraw.
That does sound sad. But there are alternatives to submitting to this kind of social pressure. Changing you support system, for example --
Or, they begin to doubt and wonder, Am I gay?
Oh fuck me.
“I get excited when I’m with Paul,” Steve says to himself. “He puts a spring in my step just talking to him. I’m stimulated by his intellect and insight. He makes me feel more alive after talking to him than I did before. Those feelings are so strong they must be sexual. I must be gay.” Paul feels the same. But they’re not gay at all. They don’t want to have sex with each other. They’re simply men who feel and express deep passions and feelings, and they want to connect with someone with common interests.
Ya gotta wonder how McAllister knows they're not gay. Maybe she decided while staring into Steve's dreamy eyes during one of his long talks about how Paul puts a spring in his step.

Anyway, it turns out the big problem is not that jocks will be awkward among their fellow bros, but that "the more friendship is misunderstood and ignored, the more people will identify as homosexual and bisexual." Out of pure confusion of eros and phileo, men wind up sucking cock and women wind up eating pussy. Not to mention the polyamory! "What you need are friends," McAllister tells one poor soul who has been seduced into multisex, "real, loving friends -- not more sexual relationships." She explains that eros is "a throaty passion that can end badly and lead to tragedy," but that probably just got them more turned on.

Me, I'm all for nonsexual love, including the demonstrative kind, but if my friends are getting laid I'm usually happy for them, not convinced they've made a throaty mistake (unless they've picked up a thrush). Why is sex such a puzzle for these people?

Monday, December 28, 2015

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...and surprise, it's an end-of-year top ten! Specifically, "Rightbloggers' Top 10 Facepalms of 2015." In its own tweet the Voice calls it "Conservative Media's Top Ten Facepalms," which shows they're paying attention: our dummies laureate include not only pure bloggers like Dr. Mrs. Ole Perfesser and Roger L. Simon, but also Megan McArdle and the boys from National Review, who are only rightbloggers in the broadest sense (that is, they're online and they suck). The journalistic race to the bottom is over and we all lost.

This column is pure fun -- well, fun for me, but my desires are unconventional -- and since it's pulled from a year of my  "research" at alicublog, there are no outtakes or overflow: you can just go through the archives for that. I must say it was hard picking ten.

THE DEFIANT ONES.

There will be large spoilers in this review of The Hateful Eight because, though it’s easy to evade spoilers when discussing its technical aspects (all first rate) and overall air of menace, it’s impossible to evade them (at least I find it so) when trying to discuss what, besides box office and ultraviolent jollies, the thing is trying to accomplish.

Marquis Warren, a recently demobbed Union Major and bounty hunter on the road to Red Rock, catches a ride on a stage with another bounty hunter, John Ruth, and his current, living prize, Daisy Domergue, worth $10,000 upon delivery. They are joined by another stray, former Confederate raider Chris Mannix, claiming to be Red Rock’s new sheriff. Later they’ll get snowed in with four other characters of at-first-uncertain provenance, and we’ll have ourselves that Eight.

Things are tense from the start. Domergue is extremely troublesome — she’s a spitter, for one thing — but Ruth is committed to taking her, as he does all his charges, to the law alive, despite the lack of a financial percentage in this (though he thinks nothing of breaking Domergue’s nose and, later, knocking out her teeth). He says it’s because he doesn’t want to cheat the hangman of his wage, but it’s easier to believe he does it in accordance with a crude moral code. He trusts no man but has a feeling for justice; when Mannix announces himself to be the new sheriff of Red Rock, Ruth is far more outraged than Warren that a Reb would get the job, or lie about getting it. Warren, for his part, would prefer a simple excuse to kill Mannix, as he is accustomed and in fact pleased to kill white men, especially but not exclusively those whose cause had been his death or enslavement.

The relationship between Warren and Ruth is important. We find out quickly that the two men know each other, but when we learn that Ruth respects Warren’s war record, it’s puzzling, and when Marquis reveals Ruth saved his life, it’s a surprise — because obviously neither trusts the other, or only trusts him insofar as he has to. Theirs is what you might call an unsentimental relationship.

But each has something that motivates him beyond his survival instinct. Ruth, it turns out, not only respects justice, but also has a soft spot for a “Lincoln letter” Warren holds, addressed personally to Warren by the Emancipator himself. Ruth remembers the letter fondly and is visibly moved when he gets a chance to read it again. The letter is mostly anodyne, complimenting Warren’s service, but it vaguely alludes to a post-racist future when they can “work together.” Can there be any other reason why Ruth nearly weeps to read it but that he would like to think so, too? (So long, of course, as he needn’t risk anything to achieve it.)

Later, Ruth is also visibly affected when Warren reveals [look, I told you, spoilers] that the letter’s a fake. He’s more emotional than one might expect; he’s partly angry, but also deeply hurt — feels betrayed, even. And Warren is surprisingly cold and contemptuous as he explains to Ruth that, as a black man in a white world, he is sometimes obliged to “charm” the caucasians to survive, and the fake letter is one such charm.

This is the point where everything starts to break apart, and when the more mechanically plot-driven part of the story kicks in. It takes that long to happen, I think, because Tarantino wanted to first show that the two major characters who seem most evenly matched and who have the best grounds for friendship can’t be anything of the sort because of the huge fact of endemic racism — a bloody chasm too large to be crossed by simple fellow-feeling.

But race isn’t everything, and there are other grounds for unity. At the end, after much Tarantino-style bloodletting, [massive spoiler, here], a new interracial team — Warren and Mannix, both bleeding to death — unite to bring Domergue to a perverted version of the justice to which Ruth was attempting to deliver her. Why this is preferable to just shooting her is not made explicit; Warren cites Ruth’s code, but from what we’ve seen, why would Warren, even in delirium, adopt it? Tarantino drops some hints earlier in the film: a character claiming to be a hangman says that “justice delivered without dispassion is always in danger of not being justice.” When Warren and Mannix clumsily put Domergue to the rope, it’s certainly not justice. (When Mannix reads aloud the Lincoln letter in, as it were, the shade of Domergue’s hanged corpse, the irony is too clear to miss.) It is instead a simple shift in the grounds of hatred. Though the word “nigger” is heard frequently in the film — a Tarantino hallmark — the word “bitch” runs a close second. Some critics have commented on the disturbing abuse Domergue withstands in the course of the film and wonder if it’s misogynistic. I think misogyny is too limiting an explanation. The violence against Domergue is disturbing; worse than anyone else's. I can’t imagine any good reason why this character had to be female at all except this: so that the story’s menfolk, or what’s left of them, could be shown to take a special pleasure and comfort in using a moral code, even a second-hand one in which they don’t really believe, to elevate their violence against her into something more satisfying as they face the end of their days. Think of the Eight as a little divided society -- as one of the characters explicitly describes it -- that's too poisoned by greed and fear to survive, and whose members while away its decline indulging every opportunity to settle scores, and you begin to see the point. I wouldn't go so far as to call it feminist, but I will say that it isn't women Tarantino has it in for.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

HAVE A MISERABLE NATIONAL REVIEW CHRISTMAS!

National Review has a holiday-themed front page today, and by holiday I mean "War on Christmas," the title and topic of Jonah Goldberg's contribution. I have long maintained -- and a plurality of Americans now seem to agree -- that the WoC is a ridiculous scam. But Goldberg insists it's a clear and present danger and it's all liberals' fault.
Alas, today’s “war on Christmas,” which has become for cable news an annual ritual, is merely another one of those metaphorical wars, like the wars on women, poverty, cancer, global warming, history, energy, religion, and science. (I’m sure I’m leaving a few dozen out.)

Of course “metaphorical” doesn’t mean “fictional.” The “war” on poverty is — or was — a real thing; it just wasn’t a war. 
And yet the metaphorical wars have the capacity to elicit as much outrage as actual wars... 
Oops, sorry, I left in some of his column-padding gibberish (more plentiful than usual -- maybe this is how they keep him busy so he won't eat the turkey before it's cooked). Let's get right to the something-resembling-a-point:
But the war on Christmas represents a special kind of passive-aggressive jackassery because the aggressors deny they have declared a war. They simply take offense at Christmas cheer. They cancel Christmas pageants. They leave baby Jesus in a cardboard box in the church basement, but see nothing wrong with celebrating the Winter Solstice as if that’s a more rational thing to do. 
No explanatory links, of course, but it seems Goldberg's confusing the ACLU's mission of defending unpopular Constitutional rights (say, wasn't that what the Tea Party was all about?) with the rest of us walking around not giving a shit whether someone says Merry Christmas or not. Also, Goldberg thinks, as conservatives often do, that liberals trick him and his Fox News buddies into being psycho about it:
And then, when people complain about this undeclared war on Christmas, the aggressors mock and ridicule them for paranoia and hyperbole.
We don't even declare our War on Christmas. We just go around singing our satanic Solstice carols and pissing them off. It's so unfair! MERRY CHRISTMAS KILL CLOUSEAU!

Also at NR:

•  Kevin D. Williamson, best known as a rageclown who thinks women who have abortions should be executed and a bunch of other crazy shit, does his version of an inspirational religious story. Shorter: There are people who run soup kitchens and AA meetings, therefore Christ is real. At times it sounds like he's at least heard of Christianity --
The boy grows into a man, and the question of family is always at the center of His thinking. “Who is my mother, or my brethren?” He asks. “Whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.” He tells of hated foreigners adopting the wounded and the vulnerable of His own nation as their own, and shames His own people with that story of alien kindness...
-- and then you remember that he's against accepting Syrian refugees because he's scared they'll kill him ("Where there is Islam, there will be Islamic extremism, Islamic supremacism, and murder") and you realize he's even more full of shit when he pretends to be religious as when he doesn't bother.

•  Speaking of immigrant-haters, this is from Victor Davis Hanson's contribution:
Many Americans oppose illegal immigration and want to slow down legal immigration not because the most welcoming nation in the world is suddenly xenophobic, nativist, or racist, as cheaply alleged. Too often, immigrants assume that America owes them rather than they owe America — sort of like an uninvited guest moving into the house of the host and berating him over the menu and accommodations.
How could we have guessed Hanson would spend Christmas bitching about furriners? Guess he never got over the loss of his chainsaw.

•  Mona Charen is Jewish, but she was shocked to find -- after apparently not having been downtown on Christmas in many years -- "not only were all the restaurants open, they were also packed." And this is a big deal because --
I had pictured my Christian friends and neighbors at home, gathered around the table Norman Rockwell–style, eating goose or ham or whatever gentiles eat bathed in the twinkling lights of decorated trees. In fact, I liked to think of them that way, and finding crowds treating Christmas Eve as just another night was almost a sacrilege.
Well, maybe you should have asked your "friends" what they were doing for Christmas.
Americans have long resisted the secularizing trend of Western Europe.
Ugh, yes, you see it coming: We are becoming Godless, which is just what the Democrats want, so repent and make Marco Rubio president.

There's plenty more and worse, but this is not Easter, when we celebrate redemption through suffering, but Christmas, when we celebrate Darren McGavin and a lamp that looks like a leg. So have yourself a merry little Christmas (THERE I SAID CHRISTMAS) or whatever winter orgy you choose to celebrate.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

CALM-DOWNWARD MOBILITY.

In our annals of Libertarians Smell, Bryan Caplan holds a special place. He is perhaps best known for telling women they were freer in the 1890s than now because, although they didn't have the vote and were basically the property of their husbands, they didn't have to live in a welfare state. He's said some other even creepier, wackier things.

Today he has a post which we may consider his Christmas present to the world. In the holiday spirit he generously tries to understand why the littlebrains don't think capitalism is the berries, don't appreciate their bosses, and keep demanding absurdities like a living wage.
4. The main lesson of labor econ is that markets for labor closely resemble markets for other goods. Why then are people so eager to believe that unregulated labor markets are terrible? Part of the reason is that the little differences are occasionally traumatic. Wages don't adjust like stock market prices, so involuntary unemployment is a real and frightening prospect.
Workers fear the trauma of involuntary unemployment, and get frightened. (Irrational of them, really -- involuntary unemployment and the descent into poverty that often comes with it are just Acts of God, like hurricanes. And global depressions are the butterfly effect. They can't be helped, certainly not by statism.)
5. Another important reason, though, is that markets where people trade vaguely-defined products for cash tend to be acrimonious. When products are vague, the side paying cash often feels ripped off, and the side receiving cash often feels insulted.
So, see, it's traumatic on both sides! Bosses grumble over the injustice of paying you for your servitude, and you feel insulted, not so much by the lack of income as by the lack of validation.
In most markets, sellers strive to standardize products to preempt this acrimony. In labor markets, however, this is inherently difficult because every human is unique.
You're not a widget; you're YOU. And sometimes YOU are inadequate, and must work two jobs to earn your place in a men's shelter.
As a result, employers often lash out at workers because they feel cheated, and employees often resent employers because they feel mistreated.
6. These problems are amplified by the fact that our jobs are central to our identities. So when we feel mistreated by a boss (or by co-workers the boss fails to control), we experience it as a serious affront. This in turn leads people to demonize employers as a class.
The lashing! The resentment! The demonization! Good thing Caplan has a degree in straw-counseling or you might think this has something to do with money rather than fee-fees.
7. Once you demonize employers, it's natural to (a) look to government for salvation from current ills, and (b) imagine that existing "pro-labor" laws explain why the demons in our lives don't already treat us far worse. This isn't just the root of our secular religion. If you take the demonization of employers and salvation by government literally, you end up with Marxism or something like it.
Gasp! The "M" word! Now I hope you both learned a valuable lesson. Now back to work!

Seriously, do these guys even know any real people?

Monday, December 21, 2015

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about rightbloggers and Star Wars. If there's anything more obnoxious than conservatives, it's conservatives with a light-saber fetish. Wedgies all around, wingnerds!

Among the outtakes: Jonathan Witt of religious-right site The Stream. “Big-time Democratic donor J.J. Abrams and his team somehow managed to smuggle three conservative truths out of the liberal death star that is Hollywood and into The Force Awakens,” he claims. For one when (spoiler) Leia regrets sending her and Han’s kid off to Jedi school, this is a knock on liberals because “progressives have attacked the idea of male headship in the family”; also, liberals “have long promoted welfare policies that render fathers economically redundant.” So Leia received WIC assistance! Well, I warned you about the spoiler.

If you were wondering why Abrams the Democrat would promote such a POV, Witt explained that the film’s scriptwriters, Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan, are Jewish, and Lucas was raised Methodist (unlike everyone else in Hollywood, who were bred in atheist vats) so “maybe they absorbed the biblical stories of sin and redemption… Maybe they absorbed those old truths so thoroughly that they couldn’t help but work them into their movies.” I love the idea of Kasdan trying to make The Force Awakens into a plea for Single Payer, except G-d forced his pen to write Conservative Truths.

Friday, December 18, 2015

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN.


Hard to pick a favorite Nilsson song but this one has been giving me chills for 43 years.

•  I've been telling you guys that the longer Trump hangs in there, the greater the dilemma he presents for mainstream conservatives -- they have to disown him because he presents such an ugly picture of their real beliefs, but they also can't disown those beliefs. This is breeding some fascinating fleurs du mal. Attend Peggy Noonan today at the Wall Street Journal, who has gone further faster in that direction than even I would have expected. Noonan is a master of lipsticking the pig and silk-pursing the sow's ear, and here she goes all-out:
What a year of wonders. For a good portion of it there were three Republican presidential candidates who, if you added up their polling numbers, had the support of more than half the voters—and they had never, not one of them, won a political office in their lives.
You and I see Carson, Fiorina and Trump as malevolent clowns merrily stomping the reputation of the Party into the mud with their elongated shoes, but Noonan sees them as sunny populists. And she's not sweating a Trump nomination -- she thinks it could be great. She fantasizes a future headline: "Trump Expands the Base—Trump Grows the Party!” (I'm so sorry she wasn't around to tell us about the miracle of Wendell Willkie.) And if "Mr. and Mrs. Longtime Republican in the suburbs" don't like it, says Noonan, then "they’d better get ready to press the viable non-Trump candidates to stay, and all others to leave." Sound advice! Will eeny-meeny-miney-moe work? Oh, and get this:
Jeb Bush, by stepping down, could become what he wanted to be this year -- a hero, a history changer, a man who enhanced his own and his family’s legacy.
In the Hall of Bushes, Jeb!'s statute will be inscribed, "I don’t want to be elected president to sit around and see gridlock just become so dominant that people literally are in decline in their lives... I've got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me..." Then Noonan tells us, gosh, Democrats aren't like they used to be, i.e. losing:
This is not like the Democratic Party! It was once a big brass band marching through the streets—loud, dissonant, there. “I’m not a member of any organized party,” Will Rogers famously said. “I’m a Democrat.” For generations Democrats repeated that line as a brag. They knew disorganized meant vital, creative, spontaneous, passionate—alive. 
Now that party acts like this tidy, lifeless, fightless thing, a big, gray, dead-hearted, soul-killing blob. “I have the demographics,” it blobbily bellows, “I have the millennials.” Maybe it doesn’t have as much as it thinks. It is no honor to the Democratic Party that it is not fighting things through with a stage full of contenders this epochal year. 
The Republicans are all chaos and incoherence, it’s true. But at least they’re alive. At least they’re fighting as if it matters.
In 1984, when the Democratic primaries were contentious, the New York Post ran a front page with a picture of Jesse Jackson, Gary Hart, and Walter Mondale under the headline BEST OF ENEMIES. Parties love it when the opposition is in disarray. But in the last ditch, Noonan tells us the Democrats should be so lucky to be fractured and led by an unstable demagogue! She's got them right where she wants them!

•   A cautionary tale:
The self-driving car, that cutting-edge creation that’s supposed to lead to a world without accidents, is achieving the exact opposite right now: The vehicles have racked up a crash rate double that of those with human drivers. 
The glitch? 
They obey the law all the time, as in, without exception. This may sound like the right way to program a robot to drive a car, but good luck trying to merge onto a chaotic, jam-packed highway with traffic flying along well above the speed limit. It tends not to work out well. As the accidents have piled up -- all minor scrape-ups for now -- the arguments among programmers at places like Google Inc. and Carnegie Mellon University are heating up: Should they teach the cars how to commit infractions from time to time to stay out of trouble?
If you made it up it would be too on-the-nose, eh? And I don't mean about driverless cars. I have long believed, with Bob Dobbs, that we Americans suffer from a lack of slack. I say this not only out of personal preference (or, as some might say, laziness), but out of longtime observation of what happens to humans who are deprived of it. We see the endless and pernicious efforts to take up and tighten slack at every level of society, from the illegalization of the homeless to the prosecution not only of legal behavior but of legislation itself -- it's as if we all have to be on guard all the time, lest society collapse. (Nothing typifies this better than the professionalization of just looking for a goddamn job, which gets more absurd all the time.)  Now we have these driverless cars which, at first blush, would seem to be a slack-enabling devices that would leave us free to chill in the car like we would at the bar. But because they are not gifts from a beneficent society, but part of the usual slack-averse bullshit, they have created this problem -- the automatons can't behave like humans -- they can't draw outside the lines -- they have no slack in the nature. And now the scientists are trying to find way to emulate it, presumably with an algorithm. You know what comes next, right?



What life could be if we were just allowed to be human.

•   Speaking of automatons, at National Review Stephen L. Miller bitches about SJWs and that Star Wars thing the kids are all talking about. Apparently people on the internet are speculating on the sexuality of that little ball robot, talking about the black guy in the white whatchamacallit suit, etc. Killer finds this intolerable, and imagines other people find it intolerable too. Key passages include, "We can surely expect our celebrity president to weigh in as well," and "the scourge of Social Justice Media tempts us to give in to our anger and aims to tear us apart." "Can Star Wars survive such an onslaught launched from the Social Justice Media’s veritable Sarlacc Pit — more commonly referred to as Twitter?" Miller asks. Yes, but can your underoos survive this wedgie?

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

VIEW FROM A LOCKED WARD.

I suppose it's time to look in on PJ Media kingpin Roger L. Simon. What'd he think of the debate?
No more bets, ladies and gentlemen. The game is over. Donald Trump has won the nomination.
Explain, please.
Everyone acknowledged as much, heads nodding around me in the press room...
They told you it was the press room, Rog, but your tip-off should have been Robert Stacy McCain calling everyone "cousin," or all the "reporters" wearing black vests and pants and white shirts saying "it come wid two side."
...when, nearly at the end of the debate, Hugh Hewitt served up by far the most serious, in the sense of fateful, question of the night by asking Trump to answer finally whether he will support the Republican candidate under any circumstances.
The Donald smiled, stared straight into the camera with the practiced skill of a Cronkite or a Murrow, though more playful and, one reluctantly admits, winning...
"This... [distant explosion] is London, very classy town, not a lotta conveniences but wait'll I put in the Trump Fallout Shelter, it'll be huge."
...and acknowledged that, yes, he will. He has been treated well by all concerned and even come to like and admire many of the candidates on the stage with him. Murmurs of approval all around.
All around what? The tinfoil on your scalp?
And then he administered the coup de television. Looking square into the lens at America he promised to beat Hillary Clinton in November. And he did so in full recognition by all concerned, barring force majeure, he already was the nominee and everybody knew it. He was taking a graceful bow.
Game, set, match, tournament and whatever they say in bocce.
Then come a lot of Fellini references, which is probably Simon preparing an "it was just a dream" excuse for later. I'm trying to imagine, though, what other reason he might have for publishing this. Help me out, readers? Is there actual money in working the odds on this nomination?

FEAR ITSELF.

Glenn Reynolds in USA Today:
Democrats' terror compassion gap
And as is always the case anytime a conservative mentions "compassion" he's being sarcastic. Let's skip past all the palaver in the middle and get to the button:
....Yes. When we talk about “compassion” in American politics, it usually involves some sort of scheme to give poor people money.
What'd I tell ya? Pfft, imagine giving money to poor people! They'd only spend it on non-artisanal food.
But compassion ultimately comes down to caring what happens to people, and when Obama acts as if he doesn’t take the threat of Islamic terrorism in America seriously, he’s sending a signal that he doesn’t care what happens to Americans who might be victims of terrorism or even about Americans who are worried about becoming victims.
Doesn't Obama remember FDR, who said, "We have nothing to fear but HOLY SHIT HERE COME THE JAPS WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE"? Well, soon enough this country may graduate from a President who reminds people to hold fast to American values even when they are under threat, to one who'll encourage them to piss their pants with terror while his buddies loot the treasury.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

GETS 'EM WETTER THAN A REAGAN DILDO.

Nicole Russell at The Federalist:
With A Beard, Paul Ryan Exudes Manliness
Men, take a cue from our speaker of the House and embrace your masculinity.
Get up off the floor, you gotta see the lede:
Love his politics or hate him, many women—and surely some men—swoon over the dashing good looks of House Speaker Paul Ryan. What with those blue eyes, dark hair, and famous P90X abs, he inspires an entire Tumblr account—“Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan.” He kicked up the lovefest another notch when he announced on Twitter and Instagram that he’s first speaker to sport a beard in 100 years.
Mrrrow, look out Frederick Huntington Gillett, there's a new bear in town!
The New York Post said Ryan now “looks less like a frat boy you’d pick a fight with and more like a top dog.” In response, women went gaga, and men such as National Review’s Deroy Murdock seethed with jealousy. The lesson? Beard or no beard, men: Take a cue from our speaker and embrace your masculinity.
For extra points actually look at the Deroy Murdock thing. It's seething, but not with jealousy.

Anyway the rest of the article is about how "wimp, softie or pleaser" men aren't physically brave -- thanks, Betty Friedan! -- but they can butch themselves up by growing facial hair. No, Russell doesn't claim that will make them courageous, but she does imply it will get them laid: "Many women -- especially women with higher levels of estrogen and those who aren’t on hormonal contraception -- are naturally attracted to this," says Russell. So you won't attract whoo-ers, just those down-to-ovulate Bristol Palin types. Hope you like kids!

P.S. In fairness to Russell, when male Federalist writers do the Argument from Butchness it's even worse.

BOB JONES AWAITS.

It's December, time for top-ten lists! My old pal, Crazy Dave "Discover the Networks" Horowitz, has one:
Harvard, Columbia, and Brandeis are among 10 leading American universities named by the David Horowitz Freedom Center as being the "most friendly" to radical Islamic propaganda and anti-Israel incitement. 
Analyzing hundreds of examples from the past decade, the center asserts that "there are organizations on American campuses that support the agendas of terrorists groups [Hamas, al-Qaida and Islamic State] and spread their propaganda and lies with the financial and institutional support of university administrations." 
The report lists the 10 worst offenders alphabetically: Brandeis University; Columbia University; Harvard University; Rutgers University-New Brunswick; San Francisco State University; the University of California, Irvine; the University of California, Los Angeles; the University of California, San Diego; the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor; and the University of New Mexico.
Harvard? Columbia? Brandeis? This item, from Isreal Hayom, has the Center claiming that student orgs like the Muslim Students Association and Students for Justice in Palestine "lead chants calling for the destruction of the Jewish state 'from the river to the sea.'" Elsewhere Horowitz himself explains that what they actually chant is, "From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free," but, he adds, "the river is the Jordan and the sea is the Mediterranean. Those are the east and west boundaries of the state of Israel. So what they’re really chanting is 'Death to Israel.'" Freedom for the Palestinians means death to Israel? Well, no wonder they're pissed.

I have said this many, many times over the years to people who yap about campus radicals, and I will say it again: If you think Harvard and Columbia are too radical for you, please remember that there are in this great nation plenty of Bible colleges at which your son or daughter will never hear a "radical" idea, and the prices are reasonable. (I know Horowitz is Jewish, but that should be no impediment, as evangelicals respect their Jewish brothers as providers of the on-ramp for the apocalypse.)

Monday, December 14, 2015

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about the air allegedly leaking out of the Trump phenomenon. Actually my thesis is that while Trump may be losing voters (which is hard to know, given his appeal to citizens not accustomed to polling places who may yet turn out for him), he is definitely getting pushback from rightbloggers, specifically the Better Sort who like to speak for The Movement.

There are and will probably always be gremlins who love how Trump sticks it to libtards ("BOOM: Trump Just Fired A 5-Word Missile Directly At Hillary She WON’T Want Anyone To See") and the libtard media  ("ATTKISSON: MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS FORCING THEIR OPINION ONTRUMP DOWN AMERICAN’S THROAT," etc.). And there will be, at least for a while, tweedy columnists who'll tantalize their readers with a taste of Trump (like Byron York, who starts one such number "As the Acela Corridor fixates on Donald Trump's proposal to ban Muslim immigration...") before landing firmly in a Questions-Remain fence-straddle. But now that Ted Cruz has broken through as the first actual politician to get in front of Trump since his summer surge began, you can already see the brethren treating him as yesterday's news.

Take Philip Klein of the Washington Examiner. He wrote "Donald Trump has already peaked" -- in August. Apparently abashed, he got with the program and wrote earlier this month:
I still argue that the fundamentals are that the anti-Trump vote will consolidate around a candidate as the field narrows, and that he won't be the nominee... [but] the track record of Trump skeptics has not been very good so far this unorthodox election cycle, so it's quite possible that candidates will refuse to drop out, and that by the time they do, Trump will already be off to the races.
Last week, Klein apparently got still another message, as shown by his glorious headline, "A Trump win would validate liberals' caricature of Republicans," followed by a essay on how the best people in the party are declaring Trump de trop. In a few months, Trump will be the dream deferred for some, and a more versatile sort of Rush Limbaugh type for others; what he won't be is the Republican nominee.