Wednesday, January 01, 2014

WELL-BEGUN IS HALF DONE.

Bill de Blasio is inaugurated. Watchman, what of the right?


Some sheeple thought the French Revolution got out of hand when they started beheading people, but Goldberg knows the prevention of perceived cruelty to animals is how all these holocausts begin. Now if the MTA goes on strike and he can't find a cab, how's he going to pick up five pounds of pastrami for his midnight snack?

Turns out this tweet is actually from the day before de Blasio basically told the richies the picnic's over. But don't worry, some of the brethren covered the actual installation, like Crazy Dave Horowitz's FrontPageMag:
De Blasio Inaguration Featured Prayer by Pro-Farrakhan Muslim Imam
And The Daily Caller:
New York City is a ‘plantation,’ says de Blasio inauguration preacher
So far this new year is going great.

UPDATE. Kudos also to Ed Krayewski, whose inauguration post at Reason is mainly a ploy to remind people that de Blasio's daughter used to take drugs. I predict the absorption of libertarianism into the wingnut mother ship will be one of the big stories of 2014.

UPDATE 2. Oh how did I miss Our Lady of Kathryn J. Lopez's take on the horsey-carriage story:
No Horse-Drawn Carriages in a City Missing Baby Carriages

...If we’re going to care so much about horses, how about confronting the abysmally high abortion rates in the Empire State...
Nice try, but if you really want to tug heartstrings I'd suggest a "Stop Everything and Watch These Embryos Beg For Life" slideshow at BuzzFeed.

UPDATE 3. Samuel Gonzalez, whose raging hard-on for de Blasio has been noted here before, rips the lid off the real scandal: "Comrade De Blasio tightly restricts reporters at inauguration... This is just the tip of the iceberg of how secretive the de Blasio regime will be." At first I thought Gonzalez meant de Blasio was keeping reporters from physically seeing the inauguration, possibly using mind-rays, and that all the news reports I'd read had been smuggled out of  City Hall as samizdat; but it turns out de Blasio's staff told a bunch of reporters to fuck off, which is what Hitler Stalin did. Can't wait for the first major crime of the year to be reported as de Blasio's legacy.

UPDATE 4. At National Review John Fund closes his inauguration report by yammering about the now-defunct ACORN, whose dead hand he portrays shoving de Blasio into office. But he blames the communist New York voters, too, for having the temerity to show more affection toward their new mayor than toward the old one:
Bill Clinton then rose and tried to strike a little balance. But the crowd was having none of it. When he praised retiring mayor Bloomberg for leaving New York “stronger and healthier” after twelve years in office, there was dead silence. The cheers were saved for de Blasio...
Gasp! They assaulted Bloomberg with silence, rather than showing him the proper deference by calling him "Nanny" as National Review customarily does. I suppose if they'd booed him, it would have been an assault on free speech.

UPDATE 5. Comments are as ever a joy, and don't worry, several of our readers have already made that joke about the baby carriages and Park Slope.

190 comments:

  1. The wingnuts can't wait until New York looks like this thanks to de Blasio, and then they can tell us how much they told us so.

    They'll also regret that it wasn't San Francisco that was transported to Hell, though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Spaghetti Lee10:57 PM

    Robespierre traveled to and from beheadings in a Prius. #NROHistory


    Also, couldn't JG find a picture of his dog looking any happier?

    ReplyDelete
  3. BadExampleMan12:03 AM

    Someone ask the Fartist if R.E.M. is really a conservative band, so I know whether or not I can hum ITEOTWAWKI while reading the comments here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't think of a time in recent memory when a non-federal level politician had as much I'll will wished upon him by conservatives nationally. Maybe I need to go read up on this guy before NYC goes up in flames, summer blockbuster style!

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  5. AGoodQuestion12:25 AM

    Huh. I can see myself spending a weekend there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I assumed they'd be relating it to the movie Escape from New York.

    ReplyDelete
  7. smut clyde12:36 AM

    No horsedrawn tumbrils? Imagine my disappoint.

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  8. MikeJ1:19 AM

    Why are the libertarians concerned about a private citizen's drug use? The old joke was they they were just dope smoking republicans. If they've gotten rid of their one draw I don't see what the attraction is going to be.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MikeJ1:23 AM

    And to continue the theme from the last thread:

    Σήκωσέ το, το πακέτο
    Φωτιά επάνω, έρχονται μαζί
    Και να λάβει ένα χτύπημα από το bong
    Βάλτε το αμβλύ κάτω για ένα μόνο δευτερόλεπτο
    Μην με παρεξηγείτε, δεν είναι μια νέα μέθοδος
    Εισπνεύστε, εκπνεύστε
    Μόλις πήρα μια ουγγιά στο ταχυδρομείο
    Μου αρέσει ένα αμβλύ ή ένα μεγάλο λίπος μπολ
    Αλλά διπλό bong βαρέλι μου gettin 'μου λιθοβολήθηκε
    Είμαι skill αυτό, δεν υπάρχει νερό στο εσωτερικό δεν θα χυθεί
    Μυρίζει σαν σκατά στο χαλί
    Ακόμα, κατεβαίνει ομαλή όταν παίρνω ένα καθαρό χτύπημα
    Από την skunky funky δύσοσμα πράσινο σκατά
    Τραγουδήστε το τραγούδι μου, φούσκα όλη τη νύχτα
    Όπως έχω πάρει επιτυχίες από το bong

    ReplyDelete
  10. smut clyde1:38 AM

    Something something "Cyprus Hill" something punchline.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Actually, that does make more sense. For some reason the "After the Fall" spread occurred to me first.

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  12. These days the big libertarian draw seems to be "we'll make sure your tax dollars don't accidentally help a person of color or a woman." Supposedly you can get that with Republicans, too, but the Republican brand has been corrupted by, uh, I'm not sure. Corporate meddling? Not sure why anyone thinks that's new.


    Anyway, yeah, the libertarians seem to be inadvertently shedding their "drugs and orgies" image, which basically makes them as boring as the GOP.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Rand Careaga1:43 AM

    "abysmally high?" She actually wrote that?

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  14. Another Kiwi2:05 AM

    Henry Ford did not do much for the horse and cart trade but I guess that was OK because he got unionists beaten up at the same time.

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  15. smut clyde2:35 AM

    In the very depths of elation.

    ReplyDelete
  16. No Horse-Drawn Carriages in a City Missing Baby Carriages


    Jeeze Louise, hasn't she heard of the "stroller mafia"?

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  17. smut clyde3:54 AM

    how about confronting the abysmally high abortion rates in the Empire State...
    Perhaps this question should have been directed at the outgoing NYC mayor rather than waiting 12 years for a Democrat to take office and then start whinging?

    ReplyDelete
  18. FDRliberal4:10 AM

    Gee, seems the Tea People are really freaking out over Mayor Bill. They are issuing warnings of Holy Apocalypse and an New York City only fit for Snake Plissken. Aside from their 2012 election disaster, the last time I saw the Tea People this infuriated was when the Roberts Court upheld ACA. It was the "END OF FREEDOM" then according to the simple Tea folk.


    Anyway its good to be reminded why I voted for him.

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  19. Provider_UNE5:38 AM

    While Jonah has a penchant for parceling off work via the online request for assistance for re-search, it just occurred to me that Lucianne may have secured a few 3/4 wits to feed him bits like "Jacobinism"...

    "...right, It'll make you look smart, sir, look, you only have one-hundred and fourty* to get it so... "

    * plus or minus a few, haven't bothered much with the twitterverse.
    ...

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  20. Provider_UNE5:57 AM

    I have to say that the last time I was in the "newest of York" that I encountered a raft of "Pramborghini's"...We were on our way through park slope back to my buddy's place after a visit to Prospect park.


    The fact that his wife was pregnant at the time may relegate my observation as anecdata....
    ...

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  21. Bethany Spencer6:58 AM

    It's DeBlasio DeRangement Syndrome.

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  22. Derelict7:27 AM

    It's the same mechanism that converted the good deficit Bloomberg ran into a deficit that MUST BE DEALT WITH RIGHT NOW!!!1!1 (and only through massive spending cuts) under de Blasio.

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  23. Derelict7:30 AM

    I'm waiting to see how many New York Galtian overlords make good on their promise to go Galt and decamp for Hoboken at the first sign of a tax increase.

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  24. BigHank537:48 AM

    What, and endure the lash of the traitor Chris Christie?

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  25. BigHank537:53 AM

    Chris Christie? Some people still seem to think his thanking Obama for Sandy disaster relief caused Mittens to lose. I've even seen the phrase "stabbed in the back" used.

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  26. And he made sure the heads were composted.

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  27. Interestingly enough, a commenter on one of our local "crime trutherism" blogs here in Chicago had this to say about the inauguration.

    http://crimeinboystown.blogspot.com/2014/01/rough-start-groups-beat-rob-two-this.html?showComment=1388632589645#c6617863195166069718

    Just got back from NYC. The media were all in agreement on a million
    people in attendance (just like our Pride Parade crowd) yet strangely
    there were no stories on arrests or major crimes taking place during
    this event and they had people from around the world. Nothing like the
    scene of endless fights along Halsted for the parade or Market Days.

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  28. Or in a towering pit of despair.

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  29. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps8:40 AM

    Well, K-Lo, maybe we'd stop having so many abortions if more of them could pull a carriage around Central Park.

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  30. You know who else was named Bill??

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  31. Helmut Monotreme9:05 AM

    If he does have help, they are nearly as incompetent as Jonah himself. Clearly the Paris Commune is a better analogy for the kind of horrors they are suggesting the city will manifest, now that its no longer under the thumb of a control freak reactionary billionaire.

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  32. coozledad9:07 AM

    Bloomberg's ending term limits plays right into Deblasio's five year plans. De- equinization is actually just the first step toward a new form of novelty transport. Hicks who come to see the statue of liberty and the WTC monument will be stunned to learn that the Applebee's is just a collection point for fresh ricksha operators.


    Gee! Bubba, Gee!

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  33. Emily689:10 AM

    Seattle elected a real, honest-to-God Socialist to the City Council. It must be left coast elitism that's keeping her from getting her fair share of ink from Jonah and pals.

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  34. Provider_UNE9:21 AM

    i think at this point Goldberg should be granted the appellation emeritus of "the Shartiste™." The kid has left skidmarks that would make a Formula One racer blush with envy.
    ...

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  35. BadExampleMan9:33 AM

    I'm sure they figure she's not a real socialist, she just has her lady parts in an uproar over something-or-other. Maybe the Seattle abortionplex attendance is toweringly low or something.

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  36. El Manquécito9:36 AM

    I'm pretty sure that both Noodletown and Katz's, just to pick two, will still be doing business at the same old stand.

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  37. Wrangler9:46 AM

    Well, if they acknowledge she's a real socialist, then they will essentially be admitting that all their previous epithet throwing at mainstream centrist democrats was full of shit.


    Too logical? Ok: the answer is that they're lazy.

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  38. I can just imagine the torrent of dire warnings about "DeBlasio" time, and the upcoming OOGA BOOGAlypse.. The right wingers' approach to New York reminds me of a creepy adolescent boy who prays that the pretty girl who ignores him will have something bad happen to her so they can rescue her... "Then she'll love me!"


    Sorry, boneheads, NYC just isn't into you, and will do just fine. Mayor DeBlasio's first challenge will be the upcoming "SNERMAGERD!!!" and he will handle it better than Bloomberg handled the 2010 Boxing Day blizzard.


    They'll be crying in their 64 ounce Big Gulps.

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  39. More like PreRangement Syndrome- they were up in arms before he even started.

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  40. Wrangler9:49 AM

    I can't read this because it's foreign, but I'm assuming it's degenerately pro-Farrakhan.

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  41. He also had some ideas about those pesky Jews... that was before right-wingers pretended to like Jews in order to further their apocalyptic fantasies.

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  42. Bigby9:51 AM

    Man, you'd think the wingnuts would be happy they can go back to calling it Jew York Shitty, hating everything about it, and wishing it would get nuked. All those Giuliani/Bloomberg/9-11 years must've been almost as bad as the FDR administration as far as making their pinched asses burn having to be all phony patriotic towards somewhere they loathe.

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  43. Wrangler9:59 AM

    It says everything you need to know about American politics that the liberal revenge fantasy in this case involves the super wealthy staying in their expensive homes in their rich city and being angry, while the conservative revenge fantasy involves innocent people getting murdered, big buildings exploding, and conservatives at a distance saying, "Meh. You deserved it."

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  44. Derelict10:35 AM

    All too true. Which explains a lot about their reading of the Constitution starting at the first amendment and ending before the third (with, sometimes, a twisted reading of the tenth).

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  45. Derelict10:37 AM

    And they were shocked, confused, and hurt that nobody bought into their "OMG! He went to communist countries!!!" crap before the election.

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  46. Just wait until DeBlasio unveils his new mayoral transportation, a jaunty little carriage pulled by Charles and David Koch.

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  47. BigHank5310:41 AM

    I don't even want the rich to be angry. As long as they start coughing up their fair share so we can, I dunno, have a little healthcare and some new infrastructure and a bit less poverty, they can be as cheerful and carefree as they like.

    The conservative need to rub others' faces in the dirt (regardless of the issue in question) says a lot about their real motivations.

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  48. Halloween_Jack10:42 AM

    Once you go Greek, you're forever a freak?

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  49. BigHank5310:47 AM

    Ms. Lopez uses an intellectual barrier method* when dealing with English. And who can blame her: look at all they filthy words the language has picked up by hanging out with degenerates and sinners!



    * I hadn't thought they made brain-condoms, but there's clearly a market for products that keep one safe from strange ideas.

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  50. Freedom gets to end with some regularity when you live on a Möbius strip.

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  51. Just wait'll they find out it rains there too!

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  52. coozledad10:56 AM

    And Vespasian said to the assembled people of Judea
    behold! I am the wasp-fellow
    and shall rule over the kingdom of men as I do the kingdom of god.


    At this, a Judean, called Walter, stepped forward and said
    "If thou art indeed the living God, then pronounce my midrash cured", and lifted his robe to reveal an angry, flaky patch


    Whereupon sayeth Vespasian . "That looks like it smarts.!Have you tried the juice of the fruit of the tree of the olive?....

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  53. RogerAiles10:57 AM

    Does this mean an end to Jonah's second career as a pony-boy at the Mineshaft?

    Stay Goldberg, Ponyboy!

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  54. chuckling10:59 AM

    Interesting aside: during these happy holidays I've been digging through the closet and came across a diploma-like "Certificate of Merit" my daughter received for successfully completing and graduating 5th grade. At first glance, I assumed it was from the school, but on closer examination proved to be from "Bill de Blasio, Council Member 39th District," and with his autograph at that. Nice touch, I thought. And as you know, de Blasio's office did my neighborhood a good turn at one point.


    So I have reason to believe there's a bit more to it than our love of African style communist jihad for electing the new mayor. I'm sure he made these kinds of small touches to tens of thousands of people over the years and that created a solid base from which to go onto greater things. Kind of textbook Democracy in action, if you want to look at it that way.


    Though I suppose were I more conservative or professional Democrat concerned with places outside the city, I might be outraged at the wasteful government spending involved in congratulating students and about taking the neighbors' side against small business (even if they were likely cartel-related and pretty much running a whorehouse). But no, I'll stick with the attentive and effective public service is a good thing angle.

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  55. chuckling11:01 AM

    Do as I say, not as I do is a value shared by conservatives and fox news style libertarians alike.

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  56. I like how gleeful all the commenters at that Politicker article are that DeBlasio is gonna fuck over all the "crypto-Obot Wall Streeters" and how awesome it will be when hinterland wingnuts tell them "we told you so"...when their taxes go up 2% (that their accountants disappear in 30 seconds in a spreadsheet).



    And here I thought "1%er makers" could do no wrong.

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  57. Fearguth11:09 AM

    No more horse-drawn carriages? How will the Doughy Pantload get to and from work?

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  58. I take it "πακέτο" means "Nantucket."

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  59. coozledad11:11 AM

    Prove it.

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  60. Touché. You have bested me, sir.

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  61. coozledad11:17 AM

    Then you will renounce atheism?!

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  62. On the basis of a few muddled, petulant, poorly constructed arguments in a blog comments section?

    You bet your ass! How could I not?

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  63. Ellis_Weiner11:20 AM

    So THAT's what "midrash" means. I thought it was some Jewish textual thing.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ellis_Weiner11:23 AM

    Something something Uber something surge pricing.

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  65. Jeffrey_Kramer11:25 AM

    ...If we’re going to care so much about horses, how about confronting the abysmally high abortion rates in the Empire State...

    Phrases which could (and likely will) replace "horses" in that sentence: Homelessness, joblessness, racial profiling, sexism, homophobia, wage theft, children's lunches, pollution, hyperthermia, hypothermia and AIDS.

    Phrases which could not (and never will) replace "horses" in that sentence: nipples, video games, rap music, "class warfare," teachers' unions, saying "fuck" on the radio, saying "fuck" on TV, saying "Happy Holidays" in December.

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  66. Ellis_Weiner11:29 AM

    It's De-Lovely.

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  67. Jeffrey_Kramer11:33 AM

    Holla, ye pampered jades of Wichita!
    What, can ye draw but twenty miles a day,
    And have so proud a chariot at your heels,
    And such a coachman as De Blasio?

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  68. BigHank5311:35 AM

    It's true: the one absolute requirement if you want to beat a dead horse is the dead horse. No wonder the GOP keeps waxing nostalgic!

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  69. Yeah. I don't really want anyone to be unhappy. And I don't see why they should be. We are talking about people so wealthy that they really won't miss it.

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  70. Bethany Spencer11:38 AM

    Although hand-wring read like a wish list to me. The weird thing is, I think they want New York to fall apart. It’ll be pretty funny when it doesn’t.

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  71. What does she imagine "confronting" would look like, I wonder? Should Bill diBlasio block the abortion house door, armed with an axe handle? Should we stop caring about horses in order to use up our scarce caring molecules on imagining the deaths of fetuses?

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  72. Eli Rabett11:52 AM

    It looks as if de Blasio is going to enjoy bitch slapping the wsj and friends. Schadenfreude is a secret pleasure

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  73. Derelict11:54 AM

    No such products are needed: Just tune into Rush and lose all ability to understand or tolerate new ideas.

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  74. Professor Fate12:13 PM

    Is it too soon to call it the 'Failed De Blassio Administration"?

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  75. mortimer200012:33 PM

    Whenever I read Jonah I always suffer from post-fartum depression. The symptoms are suicidal ideation and making bad puns.

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  76. PFL198212:40 PM

    LOL!!!!!

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  77. mortimer200012:49 PM

    And, once again, De Blasio proposes raising the top tax rate on incomes over $500,000 from 3.876% to 4.41%, a whopping increase of one half of one percent, and only on income over $500,000.

    Is that enough to drive a Trump to move The Plaza to Hoboken?

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  78. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume12:55 PM

    "stabbed in the back"


    Oh, that's just a Dolts-stosslegende.

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  79. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume12:56 PM

    A Volt would have been a far far better thing.

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  80. mgmonklewis12:58 PM

    I'm not sure the whole team of Budweiser Clydesdales could haul Doughy an inch.

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  81. Too late, really. The real troopers started before he was inaugurated.

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  82. Derelict1:00 PM

    No. But it IS more than enough to make a Trump pour millions of dollars into any group, campaign, or individual that promises to thwart any de Blasio program. See Obama, Barack for examples of this phenomenon on the national level.

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  83. Bethany Spencer1:12 PM

    Can’t that be said of every comment here?

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  84. Bethany Spencer1:14 PM

    Sure it wasn’t “shoved in the throat?” They’re really into a throat-shoving.

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  85. Bethany Spencer1:16 PM

    THANKS, DEBLASIO.

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  86. FlipYrWhig1:17 PM

    Tesla is the order of the day.

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  87. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:18 PM

    Kudos also to Ed Krayewski, whose inauguration post at Reason is mainly a ploy to remind people that de Blasio's daughter used to take drugs.

    You mean those drugs y'all Glibertarians think should be perfectly legal, Ed? Just checking...

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  88. Han Solo Basura1:21 PM

    It's actually pronounced "something something die in the shade."

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  89. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:28 PM

    When he praised retiring mayor Bloomberg for leaving New York “stronger
    and healthier” after twelve years in office, there was dead silence. The
    cheers were saved for de Blasio...


    Seeing as how it was de Blasio's freakin' inauguration, I can't see how this is at all notable. But then, my braincase contains....brain! Instead of an unstable mixture of napalm and Silly Putty...

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  90. marindenver1:33 PM

    We're all getting abysmally high here now.

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  91. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:36 PM

    the good deficit Saint Reagan ran into a deficit that MUST BE DEALT WITH RIGHT NOW!!!1!1 (and only through massive spending cuts) under every Democrat President ever, especially You Know Who.


    Just taking it National...

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  92. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:40 PM

    It happens so often you'd think Nostradamus predicted it...

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  93. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:42 PM

    I'm just cynical enough to wonder if you're really joking...

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  94. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:46 PM

    If they make a movie of his life, I, for one (and probably only) will insist they call it The Pootist...

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  95. Mark_B4Zeds1:55 PM

    Her intellect is infinitely limited.

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  96. We had a dinner guest for Christmas. I didn't even know who the guy was. I think he was a friend of my stepmom's family. Anyway, he eventually managed to move the topic of conversation to how when liberals turn America into a third-world country with all their taxes and shit, they're going to finally realize what fools they are as they suffer. (As you know, there are no liberals in actual third-world countries. ^_^)


    I realized then how weird it is to indulge in such revenge fantasies about your political opponents. I hate conservatives, like, a lot. But I've never gleefully imagined conservative individuals suffering. Not even someone like Bush or Cheney. I mean, if America's economy and quality of life collapsed completely, everyone in the country would suffer, and the fact that conservatives are suffering too certainly wouldn't make me feel any better about it. I guess I'm just doing partisan politics wrong.

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  97. KatWillow1:57 PM

    Its Greek to me.

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  98. Derelict2:05 PM

    . . . especially You Know Who.


    Obviously the GOP's way of making sure the country doesn't run in the black, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

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  99. Derelict2:09 PM

    I want to take this comment on a moonlight carriage ride around the park, but our communist mayor forbids such indulgence!

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  100. PersonaAuGratin2:14 PM

    Bill Hitler?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Patrick_Stuart-Houston

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  101. PersonaAuGratin2:26 PM

    Looks like a good place to open a calamari restaurant.

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  102. BigHank532:33 PM

    I recommend homicidal ideation. Only until the symptoms recede, of course.

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  103. smut clyde2:50 PM

    All the Möbius strip bars came to an end were closed down years ago.

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  104. smut clyde2:55 PM

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ugFpIc0YRf4/Uqw77cFqxrI/AAAAAAAAONE/Hf-Vds33too/s1600/horse2.PNG

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  105. smut clyde2:57 PM

    There are some things I would not do even for proper Czech Budwar.

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  106. kiptw2:58 PM

    Now I'm remembering when bluenoses shut down strippers in Newport News. The petitions were all from some damn outfit called "Citizens for FREEDOM" or something similarly honest.


    They could still dance after that, but presumably with more coverage. I didn't see the before or after, so can't provide explicit details.

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  107. Mooser3:11 PM

    No wonder they named him Jonah. He could make a whale puke.

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  108. smut clyde3:13 PM

    Now we see the cruelty inherent in the ambergris industry!

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  109. Mooser3:15 PM

    Jonah, I should point out never suffers from Autodysomophobia. He seems to be immune from that affliction!

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  110. Mooser3:17 PM

    She wants the jack-booted thugs of government to put their cold, dead hands on our health-care?

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  111. smut clyde3:19 PM

    De Blasio Inaguration Featured Prayer by Pro-Farrakhan Muslim Imam
    So FrontPageMag has outsourced the editing & proofreading to K.Lopez?

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  112. smut clyde3:22 PM

    I take it "πακέτο" means "Nantucket."


    The dirty limerick was of course a Greek invention. Trufax.

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  113. Gabriel Ratchet3:34 PM

    ... a City Missing Baby Carriages??


    I take it Ms. Lopez has never been to Park Slope then?

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  114. "There once was an artist from Delphi
    Who was endowed particularly well-phi...."

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  115. BigHank533:57 PM

    I'll vouch for the degenerate part.

    Edit: can I get that on my gravestone?

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  116. smut clyde4:12 PM

    That's only a section, but it's Golden.

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  117. Chairman Pao4:22 PM

    I heard they're bringing Christo and Jeanne-Claude back to design the guillotines.

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  118. coozledad4:30 PM

    And then there's Simonides of Cos with his shopworn doggerel:

    Ὦ ξεῖν', ἀγγέλλειν Λακεδαιμονίοις ὅτι τῇδε
    κείμεθα, τοῖς κείνων ῥήμασι πειθόμενοι.

    Said the blind theologian Didymus
    “Alecthandria’s gone thraight to shittimus
    You can’t take a pithyian without watering a Scythian
    And I’ve got to pith like a potamus”.

    ReplyDelete
  119. coozledad4:53 PM

    a splash on the walls
    The collected essays of Jonah Goldberg?i

    ReplyDelete
  120. redoubtagain4:56 PM

    "I-Nag-uration" as in, another thing conservatives are always accusing liberals of doing while actually doing themselves. . .

    ReplyDelete
  121. BigHank535:13 PM

    Apparently Governor Christie is too much stoat for just one throat.

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  122. Pre...pre... pretend?

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  123. They could dance naked, but the audience had to wear smoked glasses.

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  124. Its ok, when we get his pre-school grades released the voters are bound to revolt against him.

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  125. Third world countries don't have high taxes--because they are generally run as kleptocracies or crony capitalist havens or corporate fiefdoms. They are low tax/low service--thats why they are filled with poor people. They haven't been "taxed enough already" they generally have had their labor and blood extracted and received no services at all in response.

    ReplyDelete
  126. I think she's looking for Pre-Pope Ratzinger to put his warm hands up our uteruses.

    ReplyDelete
  127. glennisw5:30 PM

    To be fair, she's probably never been to New York.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Jeanne-Claude died in 2009, but maybe Christo can get Letitia James to help him decorate those guillotines.


    OT, but I actually worked on the "Gates" project, driving a forklift in Central Park, from 6PM to 2AM, in January. Before I even started, I ran to a ski shop to buy thermal underwear. It was one of the strangest jobs I've ever worked.

    ReplyDelete
  129. We all know what happened to NYC when Bill Murray was in charge.

    DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER!!!

    ReplyDelete
  130. smut clyde5:41 PM

    Now I am imagining guillotine blades decorated with blue-on-white Delftware motifs, in the style of Wim Delvoye's shovels and circular saws.
    MAKE IT SO.

    http://media.mutualart.com/Images/2013_09/29/14/145559945/2ebb851a-f4df-4766-8be0-8f9f2dc27f95_570.Jpeg

    ReplyDelete
  131. coozledad5:47 PM

    The next Coen bros. movie.

    ReplyDelete
  132. smut clyde5:47 PM

    If you inagurate your pleasure-dome you are DOIN IT RONG.

    ReplyDelete
  133. TGuerrant5:52 PM

    How could they all miss the point like that? If there had been horse-drawn carriages in BENGHAZI no Americans would have died that night, the only reason there were no horse-drawn carriages that night in BENGHAZI was that Hillary wanted an excuse to fake a concussion and BHO was too busy having transsexual pervosex with a Muslim while eating dog meat, and now that there will be no horse-drawn carriages in NYC, NYC will be BENGHAZI every night (except not as tropical, like tonight, for instance, when it's turning into fucking Nome).

    ReplyDelete
  134. TGuerrant6:02 PM

    Brain-condoms, no; but brain-gloves, yes. Middle finger extenders are available from those "make your babe happy tonight" email enterprises.

    http://imageshack.com/a/img89/1920/jd1w.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  135. TGuerrant6:03 PM

    And no, that is NOT a selfie.

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  136. TGuerrant6:07 PM

    Don't flounce, Clyde. You know how it upsets the Christianics.

    ReplyDelete
  137. TGuerrant6:17 PM

    That and a mere $15 will get you a Mother Angelica Perpetual Calendar with a built-in easel for desktop display.

    ReplyDelete
  138. TGuerrant6:29 PM

    Well, at least they can feel good about spending their tourist dollars wallowing in the urbanity of GOP mayoral strongholds like Indianapolis and Tulsa. How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen BOK Tower?

    ReplyDelete
  139. Maybe I can get an NEA grant... that'll give the righties something else to whine about.

    ReplyDelete
  140. TGuerrant6:44 PM

    I'm glad I didn't apply for the NIH grant on that study. Damn PETA would have been all over me.

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  141. TGuerrant6:46 PM

    Bitchenfreude

    ReplyDelete
  142. montag26:47 PM

    It is odd, isn't it? Bloomie, in his tenure, has turned out to be a much smaller man than what just his stature would suggest, and yet, the frenzied right is positively enraged that there would be a backlash among NYC voters after so many years of his pimping for the wealthy. And for that, de Blasio--after only hours in office, mind you--is now Robespierre, Fidel Castro and Mao all rolled into one.

    I have the feeling that David Dinkins is going to think he got off easy compared to what is going to be done to de Blasio.

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  143. smut clyde6:49 PM

    I dare ya -- find a decent photograph of a guillotine, Photoshop it with Delftware decorations, and spread it around as an actual Delvoye production, purchased by De Blasio with city funds and presented to MoMA. See how far it circulates in the bloggosphere.
    Double-dare ya.

    ReplyDelete
  144. FDRliberal6:52 PM

    Its 2014. You know what that means? Get ready for Benghazi parts 25 - 30. The fake scandal the Tea People simply cannot get out of their minds no matter how many times they fail.

    ReplyDelete
  145. FDRliberal6:59 PM

    The Tea People have now declared DeBlasio's New York as a fiery apocalyptic nightmare of crime and despair which will drive all our Wall Street Betters away. So how soon can I expect my rent to go down?

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  146. Mooser7:28 PM

    Gosh I hadn't thought of it that way! Guess I'd better start.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Mooser7:30 PM

    He should stick to foot-washing.

    ReplyDelete
  148. ColBatGuano8:09 PM

    Does "Jacobinism-lite" mean offenders just get a haircut?

    ReplyDelete
  149. coozledad8:22 PM

    People really need to be careful when they're demonstrating how Breitbart died.

    ReplyDelete
  150. smut clyde8:39 PM

    Tell me why

    I don’t like Maundy

    ReplyDelete
  151. Chairman Pao8:46 PM

    A good friend of mine was dating a woman who dumped him for a guy she met working on Gates. The Gates guy proposed with a metal nut that was meant to be used one of the pieces. Who says that project was divisive?

    ReplyDelete
  152. Pho? To? Shop? Sounds like a job for Dr Noisewater!

    ReplyDelete
  153. Whoa? The exhibit wasn't up that long... Gates guy proposed to her after knowing her for maybe six, eight weeks? And she didn't run like hell?

    ReplyDelete
  154. To be fair, there are some neighborhoods that aren't all full of strollers too. But you know what is one thing (besides, of course, all the liberal brainwashing that makes everyone think abortions are cool and fun) that sometimes makes people who aren't rich decide not to start a family in NYC? The fact that it's insanely fucking expensive to live there, something Bloomberg either never noticed or was cool with. So if Lopez is sincere in her pro-family priorities, she'll be joining up with us DeBolshies any minute now.

    ReplyDelete
  155. BigHank539:15 PM

    I dunno. It looks like there's a good chance you could wind up serving one of your customers his own cousin, which won't go over well on Yelp.

    ReplyDelete
  156. TGuerrant9:30 PM

    That's because a gay federal worker means so much to them and they so hate to see peace-making efforts fail anywhere on earth. :::crosses self and looks up to heaven for confirmation:::

    ReplyDelete
  157. TGuerrant9:34 PM

    May I have a Mobius Dick joke, please? I've failed at writing one, but I really need one for reasons I can't disclose in a public forum frequented by Christians.

    ReplyDelete
  158. BigHank539:59 PM

    People need to be careful when they're demonstrating how Breitbart fucking lived too.

    ReplyDelete
  159. BigHank5310:04 PM

    The good part about a Mobius dick is that you never come to the end of it. Unfortunately that's the bad part, too, because you have no idea where your spunk lands.

    ReplyDelete
  160. BigHank5310:07 PM

    But you'd already have the mineshaft and a body-part disposal team handy. No reason why the study couldn't provide some entertainment alongside the data.

    ReplyDelete
  161. DocAmazing10:34 PM

    Call me Ishmacall me..

    ReplyDelete
  162. No matter how they're executed, can we display them preserved in formaldehyde a la Damien Hirst?

    ReplyDelete
  163. The man publicly admitted being a Red Sox fan when running for mayor of New York. If that didn't sink him, nothing could have.


    Which isn't to say that he's bulletproof going forward, but people looked at what the Republicans had to offer and said, "anything but that."

    ReplyDelete
  164. Tehanu12:16 AM

    Well, I'm always inspired by the Firesign Theatre's line about the Mobius Dick tavern, "a low dive with continuous entertainment."

    ReplyDelete
  165. DocAmazing12:34 AM

    If it works, can we get some fire and apocalypse in San Francisco?

    ReplyDelete
  166. I predict the absorption of libertarianism into the wingnut mother ship will be one of the big stories of 2014.


    What, did you dig this out of a time capsule from 1934? "In the year 2014, many houses will have telephones, gas mantles will no longer be a growth industry, and American right-libertarians will be exposed as effectively indistinguishable from conservatives."

    ReplyDelete
  167. smut clyde2:36 AM

    I was thinking "Mythbusters episode".

    ReplyDelete
  168. LittlePig10:13 AM

    ...there's a scout troop short a child,
    Krushchev's due at Idlewild...

    Mayor Bill de Blasio where are you?


    Nah, scansion just doesn't work the same....

    ReplyDelete
  169. Chairman Pao10:34 AM

    A valid question. Their love story was profiled in the Post and/or Daily News, so my friend's brief sense of humiliation was balanced out by the consolation that he dodged a bullet on said ex-gf.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Ellis_Weiner10:35 AM

    So he sculpted in bronze
    A full-scale of his shvanze
    And thus was invented the self-i.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Bethany Spencer1:18 PM

    NO. I’m pretty sure the gophers took over the city when Murray was in charge.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Bethany Spencer1:20 PM

    BHO was too busy having transsexual pervosex with a Muslim while eating dog meat



    Is it getting hot in here?

    ReplyDelete
  173. Bethany Spencer1:21 PM

    Again, is it getting hot in here?

    ReplyDelete
  174. Bethany Spencer1:22 PM

    No, no. That’s called “The Poo on the Walls."

    ReplyDelete
  175. Bethany Spencer1:31 PM

    Nope. Pretty sure that involved a noose and some lube.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Bethany Spencer1:32 PM

    Needs more rage.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Oh, come on, folks in Hell don't content themselves with "Yelp." They're all using "Shriek." Or Foursquare.

    ReplyDelete
  178. I love this site so much.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:06 PM

    the upcoming OOGA BOOGAlypse..

    Brought to you by Ooga-Booga Lips himself, El Rushbo Limbaugh, Model #3...

    ReplyDelete
  180. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:08 PM

    Truthfully, no joke, I sometimes wonder if deep down inside, Limbaugh resents the hell out of having a freakin' serial number, instead of his own personal, private name.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Mooser4:13 PM

    I can see it now! You get a delicious lunch, and make all your travel arrangements!

    ReplyDelete
  182. PorlockJunior2:27 AM

    It is a far, far better thing that I drive...

    ReplyDelete
  183. PorlockJunior2:46 AM

    J B S Haldane, "On Being the Right Size", IIRC. Worth reading. He was a Commie, so it's safe.

    ReplyDelete
  184. TomParmenter9:49 PM

    Just to add some historical perspective, the first heads chopped in the French Revolution were chopped on the first day.

    ReplyDelete