Monday, December 30, 2013

YEAR-END TOP TEN THINGS NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT.

Who doesn't love year-end listicles? If you're done with mine, you can take in Roger L. Simon on PJ Media's "The Most Underreported Domestic News Stories of 2013":
As in the title of Bernie Slade’s 1978 Broadway hit Same Time, Next Year, the great underreported, or really unreported, story from 2013 is the same one it was in 2012 and for three years or more before that. But unlike in Slade’s sexy comedy, nobody’s having any fun, at least not now.
OK, take two: This time speak for yourself and get to the point. Try it again -- Roger L. Simon on "The Most Underreported Domestic News Stories of 2013":
...In a world where every phone call, email, text message, Tweet, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook post, YouTube, Vimeo, LinkedIn link, Google + post, blog post, semaphore, morse code, Braille, and probably burp has been recorded digitally for posterity and beyond, nobody knows what Barack Obama even got in freshman English.
Blink. Blink.
...Obama’s unseen college and graduate school records (Occidental, Columbia, Harvard Law) are only one part of the Mystery of the Shrouded POTUS – another is the Khalidi tape, its possibly anti-Israel contents locked in a vault at the L.A. Times – but those academic records are certainly a significant part.
Paragraph after paragraph of this, including "Yes, I realize a few pols have done well in school. Clinton and Jindal were Rhodes scholars, so we can assume good grades (although one wonders if Bill, ahem, cheated)." The very best part:
Does this matter? I don’t know – and that’s the point.
We'll assume this moment of apparent clarity was an accident.

Oh, there's more: Here's Roger Kimball's entry in "The Most Underreported Domestic News Stories of 2013":
One of the most underreported domestic stories of 2013 was the eclipse of tolerance as a prime liberal virtue and its enrollment in the index of unpermissible reactionary vices.
And the rest is about Duck Dynasty.
Now, it might seem odd to say this story was “underreported"...
Snnrk. Hundreds of words later:
This is a story that is underreported because we are a long way from facing up to its implications. There are several reasons for this. For one thing, our society oscillates between a breathtaking latitudinarianism about...
Get the hook! The next act is Ed Driscoll -- "MSM LIES" kinda covers it. Then J. Christian Adams tells us "the most significant underreported story of 2013 is the left’s launch of the Democracy Initiative," which Mother Jones, exempt for the moment from MSM LIES, describes as a bunch of unions and non-profits working together to "build a national, coordinated campaign" to pimp causes they support, something that has never happened before and certainly not on the right with the Koch Brothers in the Library with a candlestick. The next...

You know what? Let's go look at BuzzFeed. It's still holiday season, and who needs the aggravation? (h/t Jesse Taylor)

388 comments:

  1. Chairman Pao10:50 PM

    'Do I matter? I don’t know – and that’s the point.'

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  2. redoubtagain10:58 PM

    nobody knows what Barack Obama even got in freshman English.


    . . . because the transcripts are hidden under the granite countertops.

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  3. Chairman Pao11:21 PM

    'It may still be possible to disapprove publicly of bestiality and promiscuity. I stress the subjunctive: it may be. I would not be at all surprised to discover that there are enlightened humanities departments at expensive colleges where bestiality and promiscuity are this week’s transgressive specialité de la maison.'

    Curricula cited, please.

    ReplyDelete
  4. montag211:26 PM

    Heh. It's not exactly "Project Uncensored," is it?

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  5. I see that there's also a post on overlooked international stories. Anyone who wants to place bets on how many of them involve Iran, get your tickets now.

    Andrew McCarthey: Muslims are evil, blah de blah. One of the closing lines: "Sadly, we could have written this essay at the end of 2012, and the story will be no different at the end of 2014." I think I'm interpreting that a lot differently than you are, Andy.

    Claudia Rosett: "The decline of American power." Highlights: Iran, Russia, China. I think a computer could have written this entry.

    Michael Ledeen: Do I really even have to tell you what Ledeen thinks of this? Of course it's Iran. In particular, it's this theory he has that the President is sneaking off to have hush-hush talks with Iranian leaders. Only two things to add: Ledeen swears he has more information but is "sworn to secrecy" (and we all know how well that's gone for PJM) and his personal blog is still called "Faster, Please." I'd change the name, is all I'm saying.

    Richard Fernandez: North Korea, just in general. Classy guy, this Richard: He likens a potential humanitarian crisis to World War Z (Hey, it worked for BuzzFeed, didn't it?) and the concluding line is "But how, fat boy? How?"

    David Goldman: This guy is out of place, as at first it seems like he might actually know what he's talking about. His boogeyman is not Iran, but the PRC, and unlike everyone else he actually builds a case, with facts and everything. I'm tempted to agree, as our wonderful newsmedia have done a wonderful job of ignoring China this year.

    So why am I making fun of him? Simple. I follow Pacific Rim stories, so I can safely tell you that everyone who writes about the future of China is full of shit. Yeah, he makes a convincing case...but so did the people a few months back who used metrics like energy consumption, demographic markers, environmental degradation and the emigration of the rich to prove that China was on the verge of collapse. Mark my words: The truth will be far less dramatic than either side claims, and I'll be treated to a chorus of "nobody could have predicted" just like every group of prognosticators in every field where they work their game.

    All right, I think it's time I lay off PJM for a while...

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  6. Chairman Pao11:37 PM

    Maybe he heard about this subversive agenda from a friend of a friend who found himself, quite unexpectedly, at a liberal dinner party and…

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  7. AGoodQuestion11:40 PM

    But unlike in Slade’s sexy comedy, nobody’s having any fun, at least not now.


    Well not while you're around, ace.

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  8. AGoodQuestion11:44 PM

    "Sadly, we could have written this essay at the end of 2012, and the story will be no different at the end of 2014."


    Didn't McCarthy write the last story he would ever need sometime late in 2001?

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  9. Jeffrey_Kramer11:59 PM

    Why Obama's college grades could matter: if they turned out to be surprisingly low, it would strengthen the case that he was the beneficiary of affirmative action. Now the liberals will try to tell you that affirmative action is needed because of all these minorities who really could succeed in and contribute to America but whose potential is being underestimated by conventional markers like grades. Well, what do you say now, liberals? Your affirmative action case went on to be President of the United States!


    Wait a minute, that didn't come out right....

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  10. AGoodQuestion12:04 AM

    Why Obama's college grades could matter: if they turned out to be surprisingly low, it would strengthen the case that he was the beneficiary of affirmative action.
    The truly wondrous thing? If it turned out that his grades were very high, that would also strengthen the case that he was a beneficiary of affirmative action, and that all his professors were in on it.

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  11. Spaghetti Lee12:06 AM

    "I would not be at all surprised" is conservatese for "indisputable proof, no further questions needed." If they can conceive of a liberal conspiracy against them, ipso facto it exists and is growing stronger every day. It's like those 'If you can dream it, you can make it real' inspirational pabulum-posters, except backwards and terrible.

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  12. Spaghetti Lee12:10 AM

    Funny how pointy-tower, ivory-headed liberal academic elitism is no longer an issue when there's snooping to be done. Obviously, Obozo faked his way into Harvard Law-everyone was in on it, from the janitors on up. If we can prove that an underpaid T.A. didn't think his term paper on James Joyce was up to snuff, it means the last five years never actually happened! Onward, comrades!

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  13. Spaghetti Lee12:16 AM

    Hmmm....

    Harry Potter and the Unpermissible Reactionary Vices

    The Twilight Saga: Eclipse of Tolerance

    The Hunger Games: Breathtaking Latitudinarianism

    I dunno. I think if we got these guys cranking out some YA it might give them an outlet, but I don't want to inflict that on the youth of America.

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  14. Spaghetti Lee12:19 AM

    Also, I'm not sure Buzzfeed =/= aggravation. I tend to crap out after slide five of "If you're a 90's kid, these seventeen kittens drinking discontinued soft drinks will BREAK YOUR HEART."

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  15. "bestiality and promiscuity"



    Eh, having had sex with an animal, having had more than one sexual partner in your life, what's the difference? Why don't Baptists have sex with their horses standing up? They're afraid it might lead to a rainbow party.

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  16. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:27 AM

    nobody knows what Barack Obama even got in freshman English.

    The NSA knows, but they ain't sayin'. And if Obama knows what's good for him, he'll keep it that way,n'est-ce pas? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink...

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  17. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:29 AM

    Does this matter? I don’t know – and that’s the point.

    I swear, "It would be irresponsible *not* to speculate" might as well be the rightbloggers' motto...

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  18. http://i.imgur.com/E4pzBv9.jpg

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  19. Have you heard Dan Savage's story about interviewing a guy who fucked horses for his radio show? He asked the guy if he fucked make horses or female horses. He responded, "you think I'm some kinda faggot?"

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  20. Old joke, the version I heard is much classier:


    Man 1: Did you hear? Chauncey was caught making love to a sheep!
    Man 2: Oh, dear! Was it a ram or a ewe?
    Man 1: Why, a ewe, or course. There's nothing queer about Chauncey!

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  21. Spaghetti Lee12:43 AM

    I vaguely remember a story about a man caught violating a bicycle in a public park and saying that it was a pink bike, so he's not some kind of weirdo. Can't remember if that was his own defense or a comedic wag's commentary. The bike-fucking itself definitely happened, sad to say.

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  22. I was going to ask how one violates a bicycle, but actually I can think of numerous ways.

    I've spent entirely too much time online, clearly.

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  23. Spaghetti Lee12:47 AM

    I never realized how much Billo looks like an aged Peyton Manning.

    http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/003/440/194/hi-res-176421894-peyton-manning-of-the-denver-broncos-stands-on-the_crop_650.jpg?1384984517

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  24. Funny you should mention that, because I swear Ed Driscoll refers to BuzzFeed as part of the "MSM." Gets better - I followed his links and John Nolte referred to BuzzFeed as a "left-wing" website. Fucking really?

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  25. Spaghetti Lee1:02 AM

    I think, pretty much, it's because they're mostly happy, unnervingly so, instead of angry and paranoid. Kind of like how Sesame Street and Lady Gaga are part of the liberal conspiracy. Cheerful, popular, inclusive-ish, not overtly religious or authoritarian, so conservatives jump up and down to tell us that those things are all not conservative, nosirree, total opposite of what we stand for! They don't even need liberals, they wage cultural wars on themselves every day.

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  26. I figured it was something like, "We don't like them, ergo liberal." Sometimes, it's nothing more complex than people being unwilling to separate politics from the rest of their lives.

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  27. smut clyde2:12 AM

    this theory he has that the President is sneaking off to have hush-hush
    talks with Iranian leaders. Only two things to add: Ledeen swears he has
    more information but is "sworn to secrecy"


    Would these be Iranian leaders who have actually recently died according to Ledeen's nameless but unimpeachable sources?

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  28. smut clyde2:15 AM

    "The fact that we fell for this self-evident parody story about liberals just proves how vile liberals must be to make the story so plausible."

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  29. mtraven2:45 AM

    And for your end of year pleasure, a wingnut parody of Howl devoted to bitching about Obamacare. Alan Ginsberg must be spinning fast enough to power the starry dynamo of night.

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  30. Wrangler5:45 AM

    Does this matter? I don’t know – and that’s the point.



    Um, Roger, I think you need to cite Jonah here since it's a direct quote.

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  31. Wrangler5:59 AM

    Kimball is really confusing me here. I could have sworn it was at least a decade ago that liberalism officially decided to eclipse tolerance as a prime liberal virtue and enroll it in the index of unpermissible reactionary vices. In fact, I thought we commemorated the decision by imprisoning Trent Lott in a bronze statue of Herbert Marcuse.

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  32. coozledad6:42 AM

    Yeah, but with some Eurasian in the mix. A dinner theater Yul Brynner.

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  33. coozledad6:50 AM

    It almost has to be something to do with the handgrips or the seat, unless it's an extremely well made bike and all the stray metal filaments and shavings have been polished off.


    Still.

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  34. Derelict7:34 AM

    Well, c;mon--this is the underreported story of the last five years. I'll bet the Obama's crushingly poor grades/unearned high grades/proof of his Kenyan correspondence status at Harvard are all being used as stealth wrapping for Michele's "whitey"tape. If only the MSM would concentrate on this they way wingers do!

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  35. Derelict8:15 AM

    Or, alternatively, "It doesn't matter--which is central to my point!"

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  36. Derelict8:17 AM

    Bill O'Reilly and Charles Flowers: A love that dare not speak its name. Or, flilafa at high noon.

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  37. Derelict8:23 AM

    Well, it has been a fun year filled with the usual overt evidence of brain damage on the right. And the usual incoherence. This was especially evident in the near-nationwide acceptance of gay marriage, and crystalized by the Duck Dynasty Dust-up: Republicans will leap to the defense of someone expressing hate, but hate someone expressing love.

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  38. Why? Why did you have to go there?

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  39. Bethany Spencer8:45 AM

    Doesn’t Simon argue against himself with the whole grades thing? He admits that several successful pols have made mediocre grades. And he admits that several have made impressive grades. So…what now? If Obama made good grades, it’s not gonna be news to people who believe him to be smart and capable. And if he made mediocre grades, Simon admits in this very article that that may not be a barrier to good governance. (This is assuming he thought Bush was a good leader, and I will eat my own fucking fist if he doesn’t.)

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  40. glennisw8:46 AM

    Most under-reported story of 2013 - Roger Simon's ignorance about FERPA.

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  41. They continue to act as though the election could be reversed on error, with the viewing of a slo mo tape of Obama's grades. The crowd goes wild! Its an upset! The Refs award the election and the last five years to the other team!!!!!

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  42. Oh, SL got there first. Shoulda read down.

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  43. The other thing going on is that its very important to have lots of enemies. They start throwing stuff into the mix--Ladies Home and Garden!, Real Simple!, Best Cookies of 2013 from America's Test Kitchen (Oh, like cookies are really american?), etc..etc...etc... Its make weight.

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  44. coozledad8:56 AM

    Pure morbid curiosity.


    Now that i've had my coffee, I'm even more convinced it's the seats. They carry the pheremones.

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  45. That Roger Kimball piece is the pip. Its so turgid and overwrought that its hard to believe it wasn't disinterred from a crypt sealed in the 1950s. For him the bizarre quote from the British Jurist from back in 1920 must be as fresh as new cut grass--but what the relevance of a British Jurist commenting on Governance in a system wholly devoid of a Constitution has to say about anything in the US beats me. Maybe if we read the entire decision we'd see it was about the introduction of the Income Tax?

    At any rate this quote:

    Between “can do” and “may do” ought to exist the whole realm which recognizes the sway of duty, fairness, sympathy, taste, and all the other things that make life beautiful and society possible. It is this confusion between “can do” and “may do” which makes me fear at times lest in the future the worst tyranny will be found in democracies. Interests which are not strongly represented in parliament may be treated as though they had no rights by Governments who think that the power and the will to legislate amount to a justification of that legislation.



    Seems to me to cut in a different direction than Kimball thinks. Obviously Phil Robertson's speech falls between "can do" and "must do" No one is arguing that Robertson must be pro-gay, they are simply arguing that perhaps "duty, fairness, sympathy, and taste" have been violated by a revolting patriarchal hick with a bug up his butt about other people's sex lives and can we please have something else on TV?

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  46. This is also rather auto-dick-dactic of you. Aren't there any other sex acts a man could perform with a bicycle? Whats wrong with snuggling?

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  47. coozledad9:07 AM

    It's the fashion among some of them to acknowledge that Bush made "a few errors in judgement", even if they're only doing it to try and appear sane, or shoehorn themselves into a conversation with sane people.


    But they never let him go. How could they really? He was the apotheosis of every hazing bully they'd ever dreamed about snuffing a cigarette out on their asses.

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  48. coozledad9:12 AM

    i'm afraid the object of the panty and seat sniffer follows a direct line from the olfactory bulb to the discharged load.


    Although now you mention it, it's fun to imagine a guy driving his bike to a film and a nice dinner, in a car.

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  49. J. Polanco9:16 AM

    Jesus actually taught, "For from inside, out of the heart of men, come injurious reasonings, sexual immorality[πορνεῖαι.] All these wicked things come from within and defile a man."-Mark 7:21,23 (Bracket mine.)





    “ἢ οὐκ οἴδατε ὅτι ἄδικοι θεοῦ βασιλείαν οὐ κληρονομήσουσιν; Μὴ πλανᾶσθε· οὔτε πόρνοι οὔτε εἰδωλολάτραι οὔτε μοιχοὶ οὔτε μαλακοὶ οὔτε ἀρσενοκοῖται οὔτε κλέπται οὔτε πλεονέκται, οὐ μέθυσοι, οὐ λοίδοροι, οὐχ ἅρπαγες βασιλείαν Θεοῦ κληρονομήσουσιν.” - 1 Corinthians 6:9,10



    “Or do you not know that unrighteous people will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Do not be misled. Those who are sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, men who submit to homosexual acts, men who practice homosexuality, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers, and extortioners will not inherit God’s Kingdom.”





    "Their females changed the natural use of themselves into one contrary to nature; likewise also the males left the natural use of the female and became violently inflamed in their lust toward one another, males with males, working what is obscene and receiving in themselves the full penalty, which was due for their error." -Romans 1:26,27



    Notice that those passages utilise conjugations of the key phrase πορνεία. Precisely what is πορνεία?





    As you can clearly see, with just a rudimentary comprehension of the Koine Greek concept of πορνεία , it's clear what exactly is and is not normal human sexual conduct in our Creator's sight.

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  50. coozledad9:20 AM

    Oh Jesus fuck.

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  51. Adrian9:24 AM

    the Mystery of the Shrouded POTUS



    When all else fails bring out the Birtherism.

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  52. Howlin Wolfe9:24 AM

    Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

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  53. I'm sorry, Roy, and the Alicuratti, I think this guy is stalking me from another thread somewhere else, possibly slactivist. He's proof that crazy people are not really all that funny. Just sad, really.

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  54. i guess you could say he was...ready to ride!

    [puts on sunglasses]

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  55. Jeffrey_Kramer9:54 AM

    I parsed this at first as "Dan Savage interviewing a guy who fucked horses for his [the horsefucker's] radio show." Then I tried to figure what that radio show would have sounded like, and whether it was a daily or weekly show, whether the guy ever had days when he just phoned it in or whether he was one of those old-school "show must go on" troopers....


    It occurs to me that I've probably already put more thought into this than is strictly healthy.

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  56. Halloween_Jack10:09 AM

    Except that no Creator wrote those words. Nice try, though; the passage in Greek would no doubt impress the sort of person who thinks that Elizabeth Scalia is a deep thinker.

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  57. glennisw10:09 AM

    Piss off.

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  58. RogerAiles10:11 AM

    They're recording Braille for posterity now?

    O brave new world!

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  59. I think Simon is caught in that weird loop that these guys have between catering to the stupid believes of their mouth breathing readers, and wanting to pretend to have some upper class, elite, knowledge of "the way things really work." So, on the one hand the paycheck demands that the outrage we are going to talk about be Obama's secretive past life which, had we but known, would have caused people to vote against him in droves at the time. On the other hand, we do have five years of Obama as Commander in Chief and he's demonstrated that, love him or hate him, he isn't some kind of mental defective. So Simon hedges his bets--if his readers like to dreamily doodle "Mrs. President John McCain, Mrs. President John McCain..." over and over on their notebooks he'll give 'em the old "Obama lied about his transcripts and probably even worse stuff and if the authorities only knew and the tee-vee folks only admitted it those liebruls wouldn't have voted for him." If they just enjoy feeling mildly miffed about it but have moved or have some tenous grasp of reality on he offers them "probably not dispositive but lets revisit some golden oldies."

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  60. Halloween_Jack10:13 AM

    Neither Simon nor any of these other wingnut pundits really care what the grades are; the point is, since they're unreleased, they can project anything and everything they want to believe about the Kenyanislamosocialist Usurper that they want. Remember that the grades thing is really a devolution of the birth certificate thing, and that the hardcore birthers insist that the certificate that was released isn't the "true" certificate. It's not just that they aren't reality-based, it's that reality is anathema to their whole way of thinking.

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  61. edroso10:15 AM

    Next time, why not just write "The Bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it?" It would save us all a lot of time.

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  62. StringOnAStick10:16 AM

    TPM dug up a speech by Daddy Duck at some sportsmen's meeting before the current verbal misstep where he says men need to look for women who are carrying their bible and willing to prep the ducks they've shot for them, but be sure to get them at age 15 (ask her folks for permission of course) because too much older and they start gettin' ideas and won't be good godly wives.

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  63. Don't tease him, he's got reams of this stuff. He'll copy and paste you into a coma.


    I was actually reading a precursor of him, for about five minutes, some long dead scholar on why Hebrew and Greek verb forms totally change the meaning of the nature of god. I thought it would be interesting but it was so snotty and dull at the same time, and so full of elderly scholar heh-hehing (it was published in 1960) that I gave up.

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  64. Halloween_Jack10:16 AM

    Only thanks to the magic of Photoshop; in fact, I'd wager that whoever worked on that cover photo may have deliberately morphed Billo together with Peyton.

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  65. Halloween_Jack10:21 AM

    Look, going purely by length of time, my nethers have probably had more contact with a bike seat than anyone or anything else, is all I'm sayin'.

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  66. Yeah, I saw that. I spent yesterday in a car reading backwards at No Longer Quivering about these patriarchal family cults and their emphasis on controlling the sexuality of their daughters and fostering early marriage. I have two thoughts about the Daddy Duck talks about 15 year old girls and marriage. One is that this is, again, a straight up appeal to a stylized, southern, "white trash" sensibility. The age at first marriage was always higher in New England and older women have always gotten remarried at very high rates--especially in the Puritan era but still today. The idea that you need to "catch 'em quick" and tie them down is very regional and culturally specific.


    The second is that this won't affect the DD core audience at all. They have already rallied around this, too, as evidence of how humorless "the left" and the feminize/gays are. It all feeds into their paranoia that "the outsiders" are coming specifically for their children. Public education, lesbians, gays, liberals, jews--they all want to break into your house and steal your children away, like some Peter Pan of educational and economic liberalism, and once they do that your child will not come back and settle down. So, to them, the DD guy isn't proposing pedophilia and abusive, controlling marriages he's simply joking about a lived reality. If you wait too long to tie down your virgins, they will escape your control and be "spoiled" by temptation and book learning.


    Like Rush Limbaugh "I'm demonstrating absurdity with absurdity" Phil Robertson and his fans will simply shrug and say "I was just joking, but if there is a serious side to what I'm saying its obviously true: the longer we allow our kids to dabble in outside interests or connections the more danger there is that they will not be good citizens, wives, and mothers."

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  67. whetstone10:26 AM

    I heard Bernadine Dohrn actually edited the Harvard Law Review for Obama. I know it sounds ludicrous, but, you know, she is white.

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  68. StringOnAStick10:35 AM

    The only good thing I can see out of the Duck flap is that some wingers never liked those guys and like them even less now. My winger parents previously found them totally offensive because of their beards and the general white trash image, and the GQ article only reinforced that.
    I do wish the media had made as big a deal about this "15 or it's too late" thing, but I guess they got burned on the first story and aren't willing to take another bite for fear they'll lose that coveted rusty-car-in-the-front-yard demographic.

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  69. coozledad10:36 AM

    There is a horsefucker's radio show. it features this bloated baritone guy who rattles papers a lot when he's not fucking a...oh wait. I've got it wrong. That's the chickenfucker show.

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  70. My paternal grandmother got married when she was 16 years old, which wasn't that uncommon in Texas 90 years ago where she was born and bred, AFAIK.

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  71. BigHank5310:37 AM

    Truly, the one indispensable trait for the conservative pundit is that old X-Files tagline: I want to believe.

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  72. philadelphialawyer10:41 AM

    So, "underreported story of the year" now means a story that either (1) was reported on quite a bit, this year, like the Daffy Duck Dynasty, but I want to beat the dead horse just a little bit more, or, perhaps, at best, just a tiny little bit differently, or (2) was of absolutely no significance when it was first bruited about (like Obama's grades), which was long before this year, and this year, being an OLD story of absolutely no significance, it really wasn't reported on all that much.

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  73. Ellis_Weiner10:47 AM

    "Does this matter? I don’t know – and that’s the point."


    Oh yeah, Rog? Well I DO know, and that's NOT the point. I run rings around you logically.


    (This is what passes for "attains self-awareness" in Simon's circle.)

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  74. glennisw10:49 AM

    It was written down on a hunk of parchment by a guy copying something copied multiple times before by other people, one of whom translated it from a centuries-old original in another language. That particular hunk of parchment was chosen out of a stack of other hunks of parchment because it conformed more closely to the political goals of a bunch of guys trying to organize into a hierarchical structure called a church. So, yeah, it's about as authentically the word of the Creator as a Dennis Prager cherry-picked abridged version of US history is the true word of Thomas Jefferson.

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  75. BigHank5310:52 AM

    It's another common theme for wingnut mental masturbation: $NAME is a fraud! Biden's a plagarist, Bill Clinton's a rapist, Hillary Clinton's a liar and murderer, Al Gore is a hypocrite, etc.

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  76. Sargon10:54 AM

    It's pretty distressing that #14 on that list is a "wireless technology is killing us all!" crank piece.

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  77. Howlin Wolfe10:55 AM

    As I tried to write before Disqus decided to slow to an interminable crawl, the Bible is not much of an authority on anything besides its own mythology.

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  78. Ellis_Weiner10:59 AM

    "he's in one room and the horse is in another, you can tell,"



    That's how Esquivel would have done it.

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  79. forkedtongue11:00 AM

    I seem to recall someone saying that that's what having sex with Ann Coulter would be like: fucking a bicycle.

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  80. coozledad11:00 AM

    ...couldn't get any iceberg lettuce.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Yeah, I was kind of gobsmacked by the sheer vulgarity of the language the Robertson guy used. It was such an interestingly coarse way of phrasing stuff. And you just know that a lot of his fans wished they could paper that over--they'd rather fight on the beaches of "biblical beliefs" than admit that what he said was just disgustingly disrespectful of women and of heterosexuals as well as gays. I mean, really, "A vagina has more to offer?" All we should have said is "Wow! Church folk have really changed from when I was growing up. I had no idea this kind of language was considered in good taste." I actually had five minutes of good luck with a hostile right winger when I pretended to be shocked by her coarse language w/r/t Michelle Obama. She really was embarrassed to be called out as low class for her language. (I hasten to add that I did not accuse her of being low class but I just pretended shock at her language and she suddenly realized that in her own community these things would seem tacky and vulgar).




    The group think and the heightened language and sensationalism needed for people to stay comfortably with their tribe is so high that people find themselves saying stuff on line and defending stuff if it belongs to a member of the tribe that they would never say in real life. Sarah Palin had to go so far as to claim not to have read the interview (which I 'm sure she didn't) because the language he used was so discomfiting to her. And that from "gun/rack/tits" lady.

    ReplyDelete
  82. The idea that "humanities departments" are actually teaching behaviors--like "Homer and Fixing Your Car" or "Robert Frost's Sex Tips" is rather bizarre. Again, as roy says, do these people know any real people or have they ever been to a college level course? ITs not like a college version of To Sir, With Love.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Ellis_Weiner11:02 AM

    And, at the bottom of their evidentiary food chain, they can always resort to, "Well, yes, it was proven to be untrue. But what does it say about ___, that I *thought* it might be true?"

    (Ans.--Nothing. But it says a lot about you. Not that it needed saying.)

    ReplyDelete
  84. Budbear11:02 AM

    You may have hit on the real unreported story. Cookie is from the Dutch word "koekje" and, according to Wikipedia, "Cookies appear to have their origins in 7th century AD Persia shortly after the use of sugar became relatively common in the region. They spread to Europe through the Muslim conquest of Spain."

    ReplyDelete
  85. Howlin Wolfe11:09 AM

    I'm disappointed the horse fucker doesn't have his own show -- I was trying to find out if it was streamed on da toobz. Maybe the bicycle guy has a podcast!

    ReplyDelete
  86. chuckling11:09 AM

    Yes, the fact that affirmative action has been an astounding success and that the Obamas are great examples of that is an underreported story. Tie it in with underreported story about how the drug war against black men/boys has destroyed and is destroying the futures of so many potential Obamas and you might start to get an inkling of how many underreported stories are out there that add up to a much bigger underreported story. Sad that widespread and very destructive discrimination, much of it state sponsored, is an underreported story after all these years. Nice that our educational institutions, particularly the elite ones, have been trying so hard to do something about it. And with a great deal of success.

    ReplyDelete
  87. And we have our own struggles...

    "Well, yes, it was proven to be parody. But what does it say about the modern right wing, that it was not quite ridiculous enough to be true?"

    ReplyDelete
  88. Mooser11:53 AM

    Today, the other Gore-tex camo boot has dropped, as Robertson advises men to marry teenage girls. 'After twenty, all that gets picked is your pocket', or words to that effect. Naturally, this sentiment must be defended by all right-thinking citizens! I'm beginning to like Robertson.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Don't get me started on the evils of marzipan and almond pastes in general. Talk about your moorish infiltrators!

    ReplyDelete
  90. Mooser11:54 AM

    That has such screechers in it!

    ReplyDelete
  91. coozledad11:58 AM

    And don't forget soap. That's where the Merovingians really started to lose it.


    By the time the West quit wiping its ass with moss and leaves, islam was already victorious.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Mooser12:00 PM

    "the whole realm which recognizes the sway of duty, fairness, sympathy,
    taste, and all the other things that make life beautiful and society
    possible."



    And Americans were permanently barred from that realm when the Government passed the Civil Rights bills! So the only thing to do is grab what you can from the wreckage.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Mooser12:06 PM

    "It was such an interestingly coarse way of phrasing stuff."


    Don't worry, he's just getting started. He's moving from homophobia to an offensive hyperhetero position. He's gonna take it as far as he can.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Mooser12:10 PM

    Those Bible passages, Mr. Palance, are obviously corrupted or mistranslated, and I hope you can free yourself from the sway of obvious human error in Devine inerrancy! The fact is, the word "sexual" was unknown in Bible days, and "sexual immorality" (perish the thought!) was unknown to those upright Bible folks.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Mooser12:12 PM

    "As I tried to write before Disqus decided to slow to an interminable crawl,"


    And those of little faith say the Age of Miracles is over!

    ReplyDelete
  96. catclub12:12 PM

    I fear that 'The Oceans are Dying' is going to be the next horrible trend.


    I hope I am wrong.


    Some others were wierd. A nuclear blast would have bad consequences? Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
  97. Mooser12:19 PM

    "it's clear what exactly is and is not normal human sexual conduct in our Creator's sight."


    You are aware this turns God, the Creator of the Universe, into a voyueristic old peeper, aren't you? A God who peeks in our bedroom windows? Oy Vey!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Jay B.12:20 PM

    Unions and non-profits working together? Oh, you fuckers are going to get it now.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Mooser12:23 PM

    But look, I really should thank you, for a personal revelation! I just realised that when a guy has the Good Book, he never needs a straight man! Scripture can be the genesis for any punch-line!.

    ReplyDelete
  100. coozledad12:30 PM

    I took a "Bible as History" course in undergrad, and i rank it among the top mistakes of my life, right up there with that third hit of Outlaws blotter and devoting my early adulthood to pop music.


    In addition to being a book for hicks, by hicks, about hicks, it's an intransigent petroglyph of shite. If you can begin to contort your mind to the flatulent exigencies of its prose, everyone who's held up for admiration is a squickball of moral cowardice or narcisissm.


    If there's a nidus of maggots pulsing at the heart of the world, the Bible is its fucking telephone directory.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Mooser12:33 PM

    I don't think my maternal grandmother ever got married.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Mooser12:37 PM

    "Their females changed the natural use of themselves into one contrary
    to nature; likewise also the males left the natural use of the female
    and became violently inflamed in their lust toward one another, males
    with males, working what is obscene and receiving in themselves the full
    penalty, which was due for their error." -Romans 1:26,27
    "Not that there's anything wrong with that!- Romans 1:28

    ReplyDelete
  103. Hyperhetero? Is he one of Marvel's new Heros?

    ReplyDelete
  104. Mooser12:47 PM

    "Your freshman English grades are secret, too."


    But the result of the education of Roger Simon is there for all to see.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Well, I agree that accusations of hypocrisy and criminality are meat and drink to these guys, but I do think the "release the transcripts" thing cuts slightly differently. Its about the prennial sore point that, to the Republicans, Obama as a candidate seems to have been dreamed up in some liberal laboratory specifically to bedazzle and bewilder white voters. They still haven't recovered from the thumping they got in 2008 and they have been looking for a way to retroactively accuse white liberals and black democratic voters of having been gulled by Obama's creators and sponsors.


    "He isn't so smart" was one of the accusations they were tossing around in 2008 to combat the obvious intelligence of a guy who personally wrote his own autobiography and who had attended good schools. IT was just one prong of an attack which went like this "looks good, but doesn't taste great."
    He's "not so smart"
    He's "not so black"
    He's "not so moderate/liberal/radical" (whatever the person voting for Obama was presumed to want.
    Hell they went for "he's not so masculine" (Michelle is just the beard) and "he's not so athletic"(he doesn't bowl well) as well as "he's not so articulate." (teleprompters) Basically they cobbled together a list of all Obama's attributes and then attempted to undermine them, a la Karl Rove.


    The transcripts are like a message in a bottle from a simpler time. Not so much an accusation that he's a hypocrite, but that you were a fool to believe that he was at all as he was presented during the election.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Mooser12:49 PM

    It would not surprise me in the least.

    ReplyDelete
  107. That "after twenty all that gets picked is your pocket" argument is just bizarre--really? I've heard of a madonna/whore complex before but the argument that all that stands between a man and control of his wallet is the age of his jail bait bride is a new one on me. Is the implication that because you marry them so young you can bind torture kill the whore and golddigger right out of them? Or do they age into that anyway? What's his position on divorce, then? Is he arguing for serial pedophilic marriage so you get rid of the duds just when they become golddiggers and start all over again?

    ReplyDelete
  108. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:52 PM

    which makes me fear at times lest in the future the worst tyranny will
    be found in democracies. Interests which are not strongly represented in
    parliament may be treated as though they had no rights by Governments
    who think that the power and the will to legislate amount to a
    justification of that legislation.


    Sounds a bit like one of Pierce's "Evening Jemmy"s...

    ReplyDelete
  109. marindenver12:54 PM

    While her husband was writing Obama's book for him, no doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Liberals are givers that way.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Buffalo Rude1:04 PM

    I thought "humanities departments" taught people how to properly upgrade the combo meal to a large. [rimshotcrash]


    BTW, I've spent the last 15 minutes trying to imagine what Robert Frost's sex tips would be. . . Do it on a snowy night, even if your horse thinks its queer. Do it on a fence, though preferably not while you neighbor is there inspecting said fence. We all know what the road less traveled is, amirite? [nudge, budge, wink, wink]

    ReplyDelete
  112. FlipYrWhig1:09 PM

    Doesn't "porno-" as a root word generally refer to prostitution, anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  113. J. Polanco1:09 PM

    How so?

    ReplyDelete
  114. J. Polanco1:09 PM

    Prove it.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:10 PM

    Straight Man! Dadadadadadadada....

    ReplyDelete
  116. J. Polanco1:23 PM

    Don't flatter yourself ...

    ReplyDelete
  117. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:28 PM

    Hmmm, he *is* bald, isn't he? I admit that never occurred to me...

    ReplyDelete
  118. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:29 PM

    Who wants to ride on an ironing board?
    That ain't no fun, I tried me one --FZ

    ReplyDelete
  119. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:31 PM

    The handlebar tassles always tickle...but I've said too much.

    ReplyDelete
  120. coozledad1:33 PM

    not a one of fulfilled Bible predictions has at any time been completely wrong constitutes unquestionable attestation for the reality of it's composer , Jehovah God


    And the best part is since they're never completely wrong. like a tarot reading, a Donald Rumsfeld briefing or a physiognomists' appraisal of your face, these portents can be recycled again and again for anything from end times babble to justifying the use of congregant's money to build the biggest fuckpad in the tri-county area.


    If Charles Manson had selected Jehovah God as his favorite composer instead of the Beatles, he could have had a lucrative twenty year Sunday TV contract.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Mooser1:40 PM

    I say he should go ahead and rub their faces in it. No doubt we need to hear him on consent, and the exact age of, and the sex education of girls. I suspect the man has a lot to say to us yet. I'd like to know his standards on consanguinity in low-population-density situations.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Mooser1:47 PM

    No upvotes for a brave and loving lady who kept her family together by main strength, hard work and religious faith in a hazardous, confusing turn-of-the-Century NY tenement, where you didn't know if you were really asleep, and you didn't know what made you run?
    Oh well, I guess Texas homesteader Grandma's are the rage these days.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Mooser1:49 PM

    Yup, you're right, I should'a stuck to the Word of God.

    ReplyDelete
  124. KatWillow2:16 PM

    Well, suppose it was revealed that Obama got a C- in Freshman English. What then?

    ReplyDelete
  125. KatWillow2:17 PM

    Sounds like the opinion of a man who has very low self esteem: he knows no adult woman would even look at him.

    ReplyDelete
  126. KatWillow2:26 PM

    After reading a few "Joe Leaphorn" books, I think I like the Navajo religion, except for the witch-wolves. They're kinda scary.

    ReplyDelete
  127. KatWillow2:27 PM

    Lets translate the bible into inkblots! "The Bible for Dummies" (h/t to the Simpsons)

    ReplyDelete
  128. Halloween_Jack2:39 PM

    Oh, you're one of those.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Halloween_Jack2:40 PM

    You know what? Let's go look at BuzzFeed. It's still holiday season, and who needs the aggravation?

    Let's be Cumberbitches!

    ReplyDelete
  130. Gabriel Ratchet2:50 PM

    Sorta like the political version of Rule 34?

    ReplyDelete
  131. smut clyde3:09 PM

    This is why "Mountain bike" is a crime.
    http://eusa-riddled.blogspot.co.nz/2012/03/and-at-last-i-am-part-of-machinery.html

    ReplyDelete
  132. smut clyde3:11 PM

    Has no-one warned you about the Atomic Theory and the process of molecular exchange?

    ReplyDelete
  133. Its not flattery, since its not an honor. But you might be unaware that disqus lets one know when another person decides to "follow." Thats how I wasn't all that surprised when you brought your foaming, incohate, unchristian, idolatrous, gobbledygook over here and pasted it into an unrelated thread. Or maybe there are an infinite number of J. Polancos on the web, all typing furiously about an infinite number of things, and it just so happens that one iteration has bumped up against me on two separate blogs and is posting about a topic related to (but believe me, only in the most tangential way) christianity and its foundational text.

    ReplyDelete
  134. philadelphialawyer3:17 PM

    "...In a world where every phone call, email, text message, Tweet, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook post, YouTube, Vimeo, LinkedIn link, Google + post, blog post, semaphore, morse code, Braille, and probably burp has been recorded digitally for posterity and beyond, nobody knows what Barack Obama even got in freshman English...."
    Firstly, aren't Obama's college grades recorded digitally (and probably on hard copy too)? Does Occidental college (or Columbia or Harvard Law School) destroy the records of what grades its students' got? Why would that be the case? "Recorded for posterity and beyond" is NOT the same thing as "made public." My income tax returns, and Mitt Romney's (except for 2010 and 2011) too, are likewise recorded digitally for posterity, even though not made public. Even emails, if made from private account to private account, are not routinely disclosed, without a warrant, by the email provider. Shoot, I can write a snail mail letter to my brother, and then he can make as many "digital" or other copies of it that he likes, but that doesn't mean that the general public has any right to read it. What is recorded and what everybody "knows" are not the same things. So the "argument," if it can even be called that, makes no sense.
    Secondly, don't conservatives generally decry the lack of private spheres and spaces? Don't they typically claim that all that tweeting and texting and facebooking and the like is TMI? That people should be more protective of their privacy and more modest in general? That being the case, isn't it a bit hypocritical to then turn around and use that very same fishbowl mentality, where even burps are made public, as a crowbar to break through privacy laws and their underlying concerns? "Look," this conservative guy seem to be saying, "everybody else makes their private life public, so why doesn't President Obama?". Even though "everybody's doing it" is not true and not a good argument even if it was true (I thought most parents taught their children the latter point with an analogy about jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge....I guess this guy missed that lecture!), and even though what "everybody" is doing, in this case, is generally disapproved of by conservatives.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Can you point me to anything that turned out to be parody, instead of the real thing? All the Poes I know are left wing parodies that the author has to go back and explain are parodies. Meanwhile, shit that you simply can't believe is true is routinely true on the far right--the sex advice the republicans give? Not a poe. Paul Ryan lecturing the Pope on Argintinian history and the economy? Not a poe. The Duck Dynasty guy? Not a poe.

    ReplyDelete
  136. smut clyde3:21 PM

    It is kind of entertaining to see pedophilia elevated into a core Republican Heartland Value, on the say-so of this disgrace to a beard. Do you think the guy is just fucking with his audience now, to see what non-classy shite they will lap up?

    ReplyDelete
  137. smut clyde3:25 PM

    Herbert "The telos of tolerance is truth" Marcuse? That dude from the mid-60s?

    ReplyDelete
  138. smut clyde3:32 PM

    Jesus actually taught
    Why is it that these words are so often followed by epistolary fabrications from Paul?

    (Bracket mine.)
    I am disappointed. I had imagined that the English / Greek gloss was in the original.

    ReplyDelete
  139. smut clyde3:38 PM

    not a one of fulfilled Bible predictions has at any time been completely wrong

    This is where Tautology crawls up its own arse and vanishes in a kind of Ouroborosial apotheosis.

    ReplyDelete
  140. coozledad4:33 PM

    O fortunate fall
    when Eve took the fruit
    and thus dragged us all through redemption's (poop) chute.

    ReplyDelete
  141. J. Polanco4:34 PM

    Do you really think that's a more persuasive argument?

    ReplyDelete
  142. smut clyde4:49 PM

    the Mystery of the Shrouded POTUS
    Sounds like Simon's subconscious is plagiarising Man Ray and Christo.
    http://artsearch.nga.gov.au/IMAGES/400/43741.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  143. fourmorewars5:05 PM

    Speaking of the election, specifically the right's charges that Obama did things like manipulate the employment numbers, I wanna share something priceless I came across reading Jeff Madrick's 2011 'Age of Greed.' Remember how the loudest, and supposedly most authoritative voice, charging Obama with fudging the numbers was Jack Welch? That couldn't have been projection, could it have?
    From p. 199, speaking about GE's offshoot, GE Capital, JM writes, 'GE Capital...enabled GE to manage its quarterly earnings, engaging in the last couple of weeks of every calendar quarter in various trades that could push earnings up on the last day or two before the quarter's end. It was an open secret on Wall Street that this was how Welch consistently kept quarterly earnings rising for years at a time.'

    ReplyDelete
  144. phladelphialawyer5:07 PM

    Yes, but with these folks, conflation is a way of life.

    When it comes to rap, Miley Cyrus' dance moves, gay Christmas songs, whatever they don't like, the mere existence of the offending cultural artifact is a problem. Not only shouldn't it be "on TV" (in the Duck Dynasty sense of viewers not wanting it, and therefor neither do the ad agencies, the sponsors and the network honchos), but one gets the impression that they believe it should not be, or allowed to be, at all.

    That indeed WAS the rule not so long ago....First Amendment rights in cultural productions that offended dominant sensibilities were tenuous, at best. Books, even books like "Ulysses," really could be "banned in Boston." And the FCC had full control over broadcast TV and radio, which, of course, was the only kind.

    So, what one would think was stuff that at worst fell into the "should not do" category because of "taste" and related criteria, was instead put in the "cannot do" because of law. And that is what so many conservatives want to go back to. That is what they mean when they talk about undoing the damage that the "disaster" of the Sixties caused and so forth.

    And yet, when one of their own produces a "should not do," like Duck's Ass here, they take umbrage that the "illiberal" liberals dare to ask that it be treated as a "should not do." As far as I know, no liberals are saying that the government should get involved, that this should be treated as a "cannot do." Just as you say, they are merely asking the A&E network for different programming, a request which the network only honors because it is a for profit enterprise and has no desire to offend viewers, and hence sponsors.

    But, somehow, that simple request makes the liberals all Torquemadas and Robespierres, if not outright Nazis and/or Stalinists. You are driving poor little Donald Duck out "of the public square" fulminates Rod Dreher. Rod courageously stands up for the rights of bigots, like Paula Dean and Daffy Duck, to remain on the A&E network. Anything less than that would mean that there are "commisars" and "cultural enforcers" demanding compliance with PC diktats. When they don't like something, it shouldn't exist at all, and the State should have the authority to ban it and should use that authority, but if you, would be liberal fascist that you are, don't like something, you should just shut up and not even exercise your rights as a consumer.

    As Fitzgerald wrote, the transition from libertine to prig and back again can be that opportunistic, that quick and easy, and that complete...."Angry as I was, as we all were, I was tempted to laugh whenever he opened his mouth."

    ReplyDelete
  145. MikeJ5:16 PM

    I'm already rewatching S2 to be ready for tomorrow.That's as much as I can do.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Mooser5:19 PM

    "Sounds like the opinion of a man who has very low self esteem: he knows no adult woman would even look at him."


    If it's mine, it probably is. Might as well be blunt about it.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Ellis_Weiner5:27 PM

    Do you think citing what "Jesus actually taught" is persuasive? Or an argument?

    ReplyDelete
  148. Mooser5:27 PM

    "Dear, it's late, one more trip to the vomitorium, and then it's beddy-bye for this citizen! Armegeddon tired."- Romans, 1:30
    Snooooooore- Romans, 1:40 til late in the morning.
    "Jesus, what a hangover! Get me a Bloody Mary"- Romans, about 10:00 the next day.

    ReplyDelete
  149. ckc_not_kc5:39 PM

    equally

    ReplyDelete
  150. M. Krebs5:42 PM

    Speaking of top-10 lists that nobody gives a shit about...

    I've crunched the numbers, I've sorted, collated, and verified the results. And here are the Top 10 alicublog Commenters of 2013 (minimum 100 comments), based upon their Likes per Comment ratio (LPC), as of sometime on the evening of December 25th. I used raw Disqus data with no smoothing or fancy-schmancy statistical corrections, so some commenters were disadvantaged by their participation in other blogs' comment sections. (I don't believe that worked to anyone's advantage.) Anyway, as if anyone gives a shit, here they are, along with each winner's official LPC ratio:

    10. whetstone, 9.20

    9. DocAmazing, 9.60

    8. Jeffrey_Kramer, 11.61

    7. Jay B., 11.70

    6. D Johnston, 12.14

    5. mortimer2000, 12.24

    4. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps, 12.76

    3. trex, 13.56

    2. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume, 13.78

    and [drumroll] ... wait for it ...

    1. Spaghetti Lee, 14.47!

    Congratulations to all! Mr. Lee is the winner of the grand prize: an unautographed, first edition copy of Jonah Goldberg's The Tyranny of Clichés, etc etc.

    (Please address all protests or complaints to the League office.)

    ReplyDelete
  151. smut clyde5:49 PM

    breathtaking latitudinarianism


    Translation: "asphyxiation play is no longer taboo".

    ReplyDelete
  152. Mooser5:50 PM

    Look, I've got to worry about what the person I'm have sex with thinks, and how they feel, and I've got to worry about how I feel about myself, and you're asking me to worry about what God thinks of the sex, too?
    Since I'm not much on the Bible (truth be told, I only passed my Scripture Knowledge test by din't of a long line of "begats" surreptitiously inscribed on my shirt-cuffs) can I just put God in the same category of worry as say, a jealous husband or the possibility of a jealous partner whose existence I begin to notice when he breaks down the door and busts in?

    ReplyDelete
  153. Mooser5:53 PM

    It certainly has the advantage, indispensable these days, of brevity. I want my religion quick, hot and crisp, just like Mother makes. That's the stuff to give the troops!

    ReplyDelete
  154. Mooser5:57 PM

    So you contend that Biblical figures were dirty-minded deviants, always salaciously discussing the details of sexual acts? Shame on you. I advise you to study the authoritative Dore' scriptural illustrations and ask yourself if such people were capable of the requisite lubricity.?
    Frankly I find you supposition that Christianity is hung up on sex a little repulsive. What is your purpose in drawing the discussion around to sex, huh?
    We've had bunches of guys like you at our Church. They always want to be "youth pastors" too.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Mooser6:06 PM

    "This is, by far the most persuasive logical reason why millions upon
    millions of rational people today the world over accept the Bible as the
    Inspired Word of Jehovah God."



    Right, But that doesn't mean they accept your word about it. You might have a hard time distinguishing between yourself and God, Mr. Palanco, but am not having any difficulty at all.
    God is God, but you are just a jerk.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Mooser6:11 PM

    "Don't flatter yourself ..."


    Why not? You sure as hell aren't doing a damn thing to ingratiate yourself with anybody. Gosh, when I went to Missionary School they told me that establishing good, egalitarian relations with potential receivers of the Word was very important. But you come on like you're ready to hold sexual witch trials.
    Your purpose here, Polance, is entirely selfish, and has nothing to do with promolgating the Word of God.
    A little prayer and reflection would do you a world of good, unless it is your purpose to drive people away from religion. Gosh, I guess that leaves more heaven for you.

    ReplyDelete
  157. M. Krebs6:19 PM

    To me, the whole Phil Robertson thing is just a continuation of the Paula Deen flap, and my nearly dead optimistic self would like to believe that the entertainment-industrial complex might stop pretending that rednecks are just good-hearted, misunderstood folk.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Mooser6:34 PM

    "Simply no other book – religious or not – comes with such an illustrious prominence."


    Don't be silly, I've got old Hustler" Magazines with better prominences (sic) than the Bible!


    Yessiree Bob, Polanco, you is one cunning linguist!

    ReplyDelete
  159. J. Polanco6:36 PM

    Yes and yes. He is, after all, the Son of God Almighty.

    ReplyDelete
  160. J. Polanco6:41 PM

    The Koine Greek is in the original.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Mooser6:42 PM

    Polanco (if that is your real name!), I think your Greek Koine is strictly counterfeit.
    Du kannst nicht auf meinem rucken pishen
    unt mir sagen class es regen ist
    , Polanco!.

    ReplyDelete
  162. J. Polanco6:42 PM

    Argumentum ad lapidem. Your continued flouncing does not dispel the arguments presented nor the facts that support them. Try again.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Mooser6:43 PM

    Many people have surmised that religion is Koine-operated, but of course, they take EBT, too.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Mooser6:45 PM

    "Flouncing," Polanco. You say I'm "flouncing'?
    Don't you wish, big boy, don't you wish.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Mooser6:46 PM

    Hyperheterosexuality is the new normal.

    ReplyDelete
  166. smut clyde6:49 PM

    Hypnerotomachia is the new abnormal.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:51 PM

    Never seen a group so in love with their subscription to the $5-Word-of-the-Month Club...

    ReplyDelete
  168. Mooser6:53 PM

    And a case of Omphalophobia doesn't help matters

    ReplyDelete
  169. smut clyde6:54 PM

    No-one every mentions Longitudinarianism.

    ReplyDelete
  170. J. Polanco7:03 PM

    You are certainly free to pretend God does not exist and is irrelevant, sure.

    ReplyDelete
  171. TGuerrant7:16 PM

    And as we know, they only voted for G.W. Bush because of his academic achievements.

    ReplyDelete
  172. TGuerrant7:19 PM

    Loofas will never be the same for me now that I've read your comment.

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  173. M. Krebs7:22 PM

    Longitudinarian, adjective. allowing longitude, esp. in political commentary; showing no preference among varying creeds and forms of bullshit.

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  174. TGuerrant7:23 PM

    A bike masturbating... I'm trying to diagram that... the pedals keep getting in the way...

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  175. M. Krebs7:26 PM

    And fucking stunning.


    What?

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  176. M. Krebs7:29 PM

    Is flilafa felafel made with loofa and parsley?

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  177. coozledad7:31 PM

    Is that a "I'm gonna break my foot off in your ass" look or what?

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  178. TGuerrant7:31 PM

    Post more about conjugation and leave the other stuff out.

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  179. M. Krebs7:32 PM

    Then he's just the same as George W. Bush?

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  180. Jeffrey_Kramer7:49 PM

    Hey, I give at least eleven more shits about that list than I do about Roger Simon's.

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  181. I think we agree. I certainly wasn't talking about right wing parodies. I don't think they're capable of that.

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  182. smut clyde8:01 PM

    A "bronze statue of Herbert Marcuse" would of course be the Talos of tolerance.

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  183. M. Krebs8:01 PM

    Kids used to attach playing cards and other flappy things (balloons?) in order to flap against the spokes. Am I getting close?

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  184. smut clyde8:06 PM

    I stress the subjunctive: it may be
    Has anyone seen Kimball's college and graduate school records? That is not the subjunctive mood, you dim nimrod.

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  185. Derelict8:22 PM

    Golf claps all around!

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  186. M. Krebs8:24 PM

    Well, okay then. You win.

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  187. ColBatGuano8:26 PM

    Well, someone wrote that. Probably not who you think though.

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  188. ColBatGuano8:32 PM

    Original what?

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  189. ColBatGuano8:40 PM

    You want me to get out of the boat three times?!?!?! Nice try Edroso, but I ain't falling for it.

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  190. Pope Zebbidie XIII8:46 PM

    ...not to mention it will be full of Volkswagens as well.

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  191. Pope Zebbidie XIII8:49 PM

    How did he hear it if conservatives at dinner parties always leave liberals speechless?

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  192. Matt Jones8:50 PM

    If it wasn't for the body count, the fact that the same yoyos who whine about liberals' lack of "tolerance" also believe that they should have the right to not just say mean things to but to KILL anybody at pretty much any time for any reason (gay panic, knocking on the door, holding Skittles, walking-while-brown) would be HILARIOUS...

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  193. Pope Zebbidie XIII8:50 PM

    [Pulls sunglasses off dex]

    I think you've had enough sir.

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  194. Pope Zebbidie XIII8:51 PM

    I thought it was because back-pegs were involved.

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  195. Pope Zebbidie XIII8:55 PM

    That's because it reminds them of how globular they are.

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  196. This lovely little note from Talking POints Memo reminds me, somehow, of your point. An Arizona Gubernatorial candidate (R) was caught massively misquoting Abraham Lincoln:

    The quotes used by Melvin referred to "class hatred."
    "You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich," one said. "You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong."
    Another quotation Melvin misattributed to Lincoln said, "You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred." In that tweet, Melvin added his own commentary: "POTUS Obama needs to learn from these words."
    Capitol Media Services spoke with Brooks Simpson, a professor at Arizona State University and member of the Abraham Lincoln Association's board of directors, who confirmed the quotes came from William J.H. Boetcker, a minister who toured the country and was not born until years after Lincoln's death.
    Melvin admitted he made an "innocent mistake" and said he was trying to be clear he had not come up with the quotes.
    "If Obama had said it, I would have credited him," Melvin said. "I know he wouldn’t have said it, but that was the point."

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  197. smut clyde9:18 PM

    Putting those words into Lincoln's mouth seems to be a conservative shibboleth; a purity test, to prove that one values fidelity to the cause higher than honesty, and that historical figures are to be ventriloquised rather than respected. Here's the 700 Club.

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  198. smut clyde9:19 PM

    my own fucking fist
    Do you use your left hand or right hand? AFAF.

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