Tuesday, November 06, 2012

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS, I ENJOY WATCHING FOX NEWS. It was nice to turn it on just after Ohio was called and hear that lady in white talk about how the Democrats unfairly painted Romney as a corporate raider, and the guy with the beard talk about how Americans still think the government is doing too much, and the lady in green question whether Obama can work with the House of Representatives etc. 

Best of all was Karl Rove insisting that it wasn't really over. Then, like Kurtz in Apocalypse Now talking about the Vietnamese villagers who cut off their children's arms, I saw the genius of it: To have the whole nation hanging onto the word of Karl Rove! A man who, in a just world, would be buried in unconsecrated earth, or in the dock in Den Haag. 

Thank you, Fox News. You've made my night.


37 comments:

  1. Spaghetti Lee5:53 PM

    To have the whole nation hanging onto the word of Karl Rove!



    Well, that depends on if you define "a couple million cranky, paranoid septuagenarians" as "the whole nation."

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  2. M. Krebs5:53 PM

    Shit. I almost wish I still had cable.

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  3. synykyl5:53 PM

    Imagine what might have happened if the Republicans had nominated someone who was not a complete asshole!



    Of course, first you have to image that there is a Republican who is not a complete asshole ;-)

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  4. ADHDJ5:53 PM

    Pot just got legalized in Colorado and Washington. Barackulus "Bammerz" Magnus is going to have to do something about it. Prediction: expect a whole lot of republicans to magically convert to glibertarianism in the next few weeks...



    What has two thumbs cocked all Fonzie-like and isn't going to be looking for work any time soon? Bookmark it, libs. Later on you will wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

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  5. ADHDJ5:53 PM

    I just bought stock in Wilson's Leather. There is going to be a run on cheap-ass leather jackets tomorrow, mark my words.

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  6. hey everybody i was the organizer on this ballot measure that won 72% of the vote in colorado

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  7. Leeds man5:54 PM

    Good on ya, dex!

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  8. DocAmazing5:54 PM

    Rock on! Bit by bit we reclaim democracy...

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  9. Halloween_Jack5:54 PM

    Any Republican who isn't a complete asshole will probably be swept out in the inevitable purge. As for the party as a whole, the fact that they gave Michele Bachmann serious consideration at any time, rather than a big bolus of Haldol via forcible injection, tells you all you need to know.

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  10. Nicely done. And also, too, thanks to all the other Muslamo-Communists, Union Thugs, Father Rapers, HomoNazis, and Mother Stabbers who got out and voted and got out the vote today.

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  11. butcher pete6:12 PM

    I instantly thought of this.

    Mortimer Duke: Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading
    reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines
    back on! [shouts, echoing throughout the trading hall] Turn those machines back on!

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  12. bstar6:13 PM

    I really hope the weeping and gnashing of teeth (also too rending of garments) of the wingnuts lives up to expectations.

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  13. Pope Zebbidie XIII6:13 PM

    and Disturbers of the Peace!

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  14. Nice comparison.

    One of my favorite schadenfreude pics:

    http://colaeuphoria.tumblr.com/post/35182670172/huehuehue

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  15. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard6:14 PM

    Paradoxically, the CV on the right will be that Romney didn't win because he wasn't enough of an asshole. Bookmark it, libs: Norris/Nugent 2016!

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  16. hells littlest angel6:14 PM

    Couldn't deal with scrolling through that endless list of channels trying to find Fox. I'll have to wait for Stewart's and Colbert's highlight reels.

    Well, time to go cancel my Amsterdam vacation plans and book Colorado instead.

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  17. Marcus6:14 PM

    I thought I would feel the same way, but I'm sitting here listening to Dick Morris, the Beauty Queen and two vapid and poorly designed muppets and am literally angry with rage. Just into my second commercial break and although I think Morris is gone, am not certain I'll make the third. Arrrgh, these people are awful.

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  18. Marcus6:14 PM

    Then again, Kilmuppet, when discussing North Carolina, did just say of Obama, "Then again, he took it in the aaa- uh, back." So there is some entertainment value.

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  19. satch6:15 PM

    Oh, Nate, please forgive me... I promise I'll never doubt you again! These Fox guys reminded me of the Japanese soldiers in their Philippine caves still holding out twenty years after the the war was over. Still, it was grating to hear Cokie Roberts blatting on this morning about how now Obama will REALLY have to reach out across the aisle because we remain EVER so divided and... Jesus, can't she and Tom Brokaw just get a room already?

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  20. satch6:15 PM

    The fact that, God help us, Michele Bachmann, Eric Cantor, and Paul Ryan managed to hold on to their seats just goes to show that the assholes to really worry about are in the electorate.

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  21. A hearty congratulations to unskewedPresiendent Romeny. Hurrah!

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  22. redoubt6:16 PM

    A man who, in a just world, would be buried in unconsecrated earth, and his skull stuck on a spike on the White House fence
    Fixed.

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  23. Congratulations, Dex! Excellent!
    And fuck "legal legs" who needs legal legs anyhow?

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  24. we have a great pair of legal tits

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  25. that hissy fit actually worries me a bit. it's going to get a ton of attention over the next couple of days, and as pareene pointed out, the seed is now planted, by rove no less: illegitimate, new black panthers, the ghost of acorn, etc.

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  26. Derelict6:16 PM

    What you write isn't so far from reality. I'm sure that, before today is ended, we'll start hearing the rumblings that Romney lost because he wasn't conservative enough. The wins by Bachmann et al. will be used as evidence that the GOP really needs to move further to the right.

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  27. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard6:16 PM

    I hear the herring is not as good in Colorado.

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  28. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard6:16 PM

    Fuck that, Obama should pound the podium every day and rail against the Repugs in the House. Even if it takes two years to scour the place clean, he's got to crush those morons before anything positive can be accomplished.

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  29. BigHank536:16 PM

    Next time I'm pretty sure we can count on a primary candidate calling for the forcible deportment/re-education/liquidation of illegal immigrants/homosexuals/blahs/socialists. A plain old straight-up fascist, in other words.

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  30. BigHank536:16 PM

    The seed that Karl Rove really planted is this one: Karl Rove is still relevant, and not just a guy who spent $350,000,000--and lost.


    Trust me, Karl's a lot more interested in that than whose ass is sitting in the White House.

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  31. Seed, shmeed. Obama won more handily in 2008, and the "Not My President" bumper stickers were immediately deployed. The Rove hissy fit isn't necessary to get the delegitimization binge underway. CNN and NPR were quick to follow up their announcements of Obama's win with declarations of how he must therefore try much harder to compromise with Republicans. The Villagers will be able to utterly destroy the obvious message of Obama's victory in no time. And Darrell Issa will keep trying to come up with grounds for impeachment, Rove or no Rove.

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  32. lawguy6:17 PM

    Yeah, well Obama wasted no time in reaching out in his victory speech. I hope things change, but..................

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  33. Spaghetti Lee6:20 PM

    Oh for God's sake. We're really still going to think of Karl Rove as the emperor Palpatine of the GOP? Last night he was the Jar Jar Binks. A desperate flailing clown clinging to his last shred of dignity. He's a worthless dickhead.

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  34. XeckyGilchrist6:20 PM

    I wonder. This is a man who can plausibly be believed to have built an entire Rasputin or Grima Wormtongue political career because he once got beat up by a girl. Is-fucking-sues.

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  35. reallyaimai6:49 PM

    We here in MA are pretty fucking happy. I choose tonight to stop swearing so much but maybe that was an error in judgement because I'M PRETTY FUCKING HAPPY.

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