GO FORTH AND AVENGE NATE SILVER! As on most Election Days, I am emotionally prepared for defeat (being a Democrat will do that for you). The merry lads of
Breitbartland, being too busy with goat sacrifices to do any reporting, ask "citizen journalists" to go out to the precincts and "tell us if you see any funny business," so if you notice someone outside the local middle school screaming about Black Panthers you'll know where they came from. I wish you all a happy franchise and not too bad of a hangover, and many the best man not lose too badly.
UPDATE. At 7 am, poll opening time in Takoma Park, there are 200 people waiting to vote:
That's one end of the looping line. Here's the other:
And I hate to tell ya, haters, but it don't look like a GOP crowd.
UPDATE 2. Election Day story from the
Washington Times: "
Gentle' Obama wins Islamist endorsement." It's the November 6 Surprise! Quick, lads, moar voter fraud! AVENGE!
Prediction: voting machine irregularities, voter suppression, and a campaign of non-stop lying win it for Romney.
ReplyDeleteI share Satch's concerns. But:
ReplyDeleteBlack Hitler all the way!
Scene from Monday Night Football white working(unemployed?)-class bar in Philly ("post-racial" America?):
ReplyDelete"Run nigger run!" shouted at least twice by my stool neighbor, regarding Eagle WR DeSean Jackson (who scored a TD).
10 minutes later, "May I ask you a serious question? Who are you voting for tomorrow? I'm voting for Obama, because, I figure, four years isn't enough to get things done. I don't trust that Romney. Or Bush. Fuck him."
I felt like I was in a fucking McCardle fantasy.
But who is Tom Friedman's cabbie voting for?
ReplyDeleteWould it really kill us to not constantly assume OMG WE ARE HOPELESS IN THE FACE OF TEH ALMIGHTY GOP MONSTER DOOM DOOM DOOM!
ReplyDelete...oh, it would? Carry on, then.
The only worry I have is the stealing of the election. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteScrewed either way.
ReplyDeleteTbogg's already fomenting trouble with the rubes and I may take him up on some of his suggestions. According to Kay at Balloon Juice, who actually does poll protection in Ohio, the True the Vote Assholes actually fucked themselves by submitting falsified signatures to the election board prior to trying to get in to "True (sic) the vote" on election day. They have been banned from the polls. Like: banned. Not that they care. The whole thing was a grift to take money from billionaires, and then get the hysterics to work for free so the middlemen are perfectly happy, I suppose. They get paid no matter what elderly crank doesn't get his rocks off looking over his specs at the unwashed democratic voters.
ReplyDeleteaimai
What's your problem? The lion is lying down with the lamb and finally, finally, Obama has brought about the eschaton and your average white guy can call a black guy "my n****r" and no one except the liberal on the seat at the bar next to him will complain. Hallelujah!
ReplyDeleteJust in case you weren't already bummed out enough, I give you...
ReplyDeleteUNCERTIFIED SOFTWARE ON CENTRAL TABULATORS IN OHIO!
http://www.salon.com/2012/11/05/ohio_republicans_sneak_risky_software_onto_voting_machines/
The only thing that makes me think it *isn't* a blatant vote-tampering attempt is the utterly Bond-villain obviousness of the whole thing.
Scene from the Pittsburgh twin of Fats' bar:
ReplyDeleteA well-reasoned discussion of how a Romney presidency coupled with Corbett's governorship would be disastrous for Pennsylvania's union workers (particularly public-sector union workers) and why this should be prevented followed by an extended disquisition on the general unattractiveness of
African-American striptease artists with special reference to their universal
failure to shave their revolting armpit and pubic hair. Hooray for post-racial America.
it's like some horrible marriage of john sayles and quentin tarantino
ReplyDelete"Come, come, Mister Bond, you enjoy flipping Democratic votes to the benefit of lying, quasi-sociopathic corporatist social reactionaries as much as I do."
ReplyDeleteGet your earplugs ready, folks. The SKREEE!! is going to be audible from space.
ReplyDeleteI remember, some years ago, listening to an NPR piece on Israel/Palestine, and there was an audio clip of an Israeli settler (on Palestinian land, natch) mumbling about how this land was promised to him by God, and the thought went through my head: Holy crap, jewish rednecks!
ReplyDeleteNot that I should have been surprised, really. Contradictions is what people are.
Go forth and avenge Nate Silver!
ReplyDeleteAvengers dissemble!
Just went to vote with my wife and daughter.
ReplyDeleteIn the 20+ years I have lived in my town, there has never been a single Democratic candidate for local office. This year, there was a full Democratic ticket. Hopefully that's indicative of a nationwide trend ;-)
Yeah, but Takoma Park will probably go for Jill Stein.
ReplyDeleteIn a good way?
ReplyDeleteAnecdotal evidence, but professor friends of mine tell me there are big lines of students voting in Amherst and Salem, MA. Go, Elizabeth Warren!
ReplyDeleteTakoma Park? Beltway!!1! Villager!!1! What's happening in Reel 'Murika, Commie? (head explodes)
ReplyDeleteMy hope: Obama wins, and the people who voted for him then get their thumbscrews out.
ReplyDeleteMust be something about football. 10 years ago at a Steeler bar in SoCal (hardly the deep south) as I had a fellow watcher tell me how excited he was about the QB we just drafted (Big Ben.) He would be so much better than Kordell Stewart. The reason: he pointed to his own white skin. I was tempted to remind him of Bubby Brister and Mark Malone's similar complexion.
ReplyDeleteI believe waterboarding is our approved method of torture persuasion these days.
ReplyDeleteFox has already started with their breathless coverage of "Black Panthers" (aka black people) "intimidating" white voters at the polls (i.e., standing there). They know they've lost.
ReplyDeleteDarned if I get the "intimidating" part. The Panthers or TrueVote or whatever folk aren't looking over One's shoulder while voting are they? Are repug-conservatives SO cowardly, they'll run away at the sight of a black person standing in the vicinity?
ReplyDelete??? I was NEVER Nom-De-Plume.... I don't think I was KWillow and before that, uh.... Fozzetti (feminine of Fozzy Bear)
ReplyDeleteOh, I see. Cough! Never mind!
ReplyDeleteVisualize a period after "think"
ReplyDeleteHave you ever been to the DC area? Everyone there knows that without the federal government, the whole place would just be a cluster of motels and truckstops in Springfield, VA: the biggest town in between Baltimore and Richmond. There isn't a pair of lips that doesn't know how sweet the milk from the government tit is. If there's ever an actual, real libertarian found in that city, I'm pretty sure the National Zoo has the funding to start a captive breeding program.
ReplyDelete....somewhat belatedly, I detect the whiff of sarcasm. Better late than never, I suppose.
My polling place has an illustration of the electronic voting process that has Abraham Lincoln running at the top of the ticket, with Frederick Douglass for senator and Cesar Chavez downticket (running against the likes of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston). God bless America, land that I toughlove.
ReplyDeleteI just went and voted with all four of my grandparents, Uncle Bill, and my mom. All of us voted straight-party Democratic, of course!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, all of us except for me are dead. I mean, I *am* a DemonRAT, after all! The proud noble honest Republicans would be so disappointed if I didn't do something like that.
I'm pretty sure the National Zoo has the funding to start a captive breeding program.
ReplyDeleteYeah, well, the funding isn't going to be all it takes. You can lead a horse to water, and all.
Pandas are libertarians? Explains a lot, actually...
ReplyDeleteHey, if corporations and fetuses are people, so are your deceased relatives.
ReplyDeleteI called this one well before voting. Walked in, handed the pollworkers my voter registration card (a duly authorized state document with my address and my signature), and, sure enough, was told that I had to provide a photo ID. I got obstinate. They glared at me. I got more obstinate. I demanded they provide me the statute that requires it (there isn't one in my state). They glared at me. So, even though there were written instructions in front of one of them saying (in bold, capital letters) that a photo ID was NOT required, he called the County Clerk's office and was told, no, it's not necessary. I kept trying to get the name of the person who'd given them their training, but they clammed up.
ReplyDeleteOnly then did they give me a ballot. After voting, they got my little lecture that their insistence based on wrong information was intended to limit people's ability to vote, and that was wrong and anti-democratic. I suspect they were only momentarily chastised, and that this will go on throughout the day.
Fucking Republicans.
Wow. In NZ it takes me about 3 minutes to vote. Turn up, get a form, fill it out, post it in a box. It's not rocket science.
ReplyDeleteHow on earth can anyone make money off that? Silly kiwis.
ReplyDeleteIt's not so much the GOP Monster, it's the boundless gullibility of 50% of Americans. Put Romney in a blue sharkskin suit, and he'd have made just as much money as a TV preacher as he did as a leveraged buyout con man.
ReplyDeleteWe care enough to give Amurrika the occasional dope slap when needed.
ReplyDeleteWell, Jeez... no WONDER Kiwi Land will never be a Superpower, or a Shining City On A Hill, or The Last Best Hope Of Man, or The Land Of The Cheap And The Home Of The Brave If It's Not Too Inconvenient...
ReplyDeleteStupid question; why doesn't anyone get charged for shit like that? Isn't it a felony? You really need UN observers.
ReplyDelete"no WONDER Kiwi Land will never be a Superpower"
ReplyDeleteThey're biding their time until the rest of the world goes to shit, when the Sheep Men of Aotearoa will go forth and spread the gospel of rugby union and stoicism. Evil bastards.
Shit, this is southeastern NM. We have enough trouble getting the rest of the country to realize we're part of the U.S., and with the locals who insist we're legally part of Texas.
ReplyDeleteAnd, gawd, talking approvingly around here about the UN is a good way to find one's self on the critical list.
Yep: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/06/true-the-vote-ohio_n_2082362.html
ReplyDeleteBwahahahah Our two methods of attack are Rugby union, stoicism and socialised medicine
ReplyDelete"Sheep Men"
ReplyDeleteCrikey, what a ratbag. I meant Sheep Persons.
Thanks... not a moment too soon...
ReplyDeleteWords of wisdom from Sam Wang;
ReplyDeleteIgnore exit polls and large states.
Watch New Hampshire (expectation: Obama +3%).
I think this is the Washington Trying Times link Roy meant to put up.
ReplyDeletehttp://times247.com/articles/islamist-obama-should-win
Sad trombone?
ReplyDeleteWe take our entertainment where we can get it.
ReplyDeleteParadoxically, usually God is the default excuse for every sort of wicked behavior, regardless of religion. The Kali death-cultists (if they really existed) were at least honest!
ReplyDeletewell, they had to, you see. Because the candidates themselves refused to sign the papers!
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting. I'm guessing the point is that NH will give an early tell as to whether or not the polls have been off.
ReplyDeleteFucking exit polls caused a memorable hangover for me in 2004. Will. Not. Repeat.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I'm grilling beef ribs instead of pork. Oh Christ, I hope that's not a jinx!
No. Screwed one way, and screwed, glued, and tattooed the other.
ReplyDeleteLucky bastard. I guess.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, I keep my thumbscrews numbered for just such an eventuality.
ReplyDeleteWell, so much for early results from NH.
ReplyDeleteNo, Florida? Seriously?
ReplyDeleteELIZABETH WARREN FUCK YEAH
ReplyDelete...and Colorado makes it official. Thank you, Centennial Staters; if I weren't a time zone away, I'd be yours for the evening.
ReplyDeleteHuzzah!
ReplyDeleteAmen brother.
ReplyDeleteAs a Rhode Islander I was envious of the voters who got a chance to send her to the Senate. We were stuck playing defense for Sheldon Whitehouse.
Also, too: thanks to redistricting, and a hard-fought campaign vs. a shitload of outside GOP money, I'm represented by a Democrat again. Feels good.
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing was a grift to take money from billionaires
ReplyDeleteThis is the story of the election in general. Guys like Sheldon Adelman and Thomas Peterffy who were sharp, heartless operators themselves for decades, but ended up pitching money into the furnace by the bale because they felt disrespected by that big-eared colored fella. Well, it's one method of income redistribution, anyway.
it's like some horrible marriage of john sayles and quentin tarantino
ReplyDeleteScene from the Pittsburgh twin of Fats' bar:
ReplyDeleteA well-reasoned discussion of how a Romney presidency coupled with Corbett's governorship would be disastrous for Pennsylvania's union workers (particularly public-sector union workers) and why this should be prevented followed by an extended disquisition on the general unattractiveness of
African-American striptease artists with special reference to their universal
failure to shave their revolting armpit and pubic hair. Hooray for post-racial America.