PREZNIT SPEAKS. Well, it's 9/11 from the get-go. "A shaken economy rose to its feet.." Well, it's early yet.

"Americans have been given hills to climbs and found the strength to climb them... We will build a safer world... and nothing will hold us back." See, it's positive. Props to Cheney: "Calm and steady judgement.." Yeah, well, if he didn't keep it "calm and steady" his heart would pop out of his chest. "We love our First Lady.... two spirited and intelligent and lovely young women... sister and brothers... George and Barbara Bush..." Just like the Adamses.

"Federal education reform... nothing will hold us back." You don't have to help your kids learn, we'll learn 'em for you. "Honor America's seniors... Medicare... perscription drug coverage... nothing will hold us back." How about bankruptcy? "Largest tax relief in a generation... nothing will hold us back." Hey, where's my wallet? "Protect the American people... drift... will not happen on my watch." As opposed to the methodically planned-out course we're on now. "Build a safer world... compassionate conservative... steady, consistent, principled leadership..." Great! When do you start?

"Story of America is the story of American Liberty... reach further and include more... extend the frontiers of freedom.." I saw 10,000 cops on my way home. When do we get some? "Workers of our parents' generation typically had one job... often with one company... today workers change jobs, even careers, many times..." Yuh don't say. "Great opportunity..." If you say so. "Government must take your side." Please do! "Worker training... created for the world of yesterday... make your own choices..." If you have a choice. "A growing economy... global market... new competition... America must be the best place in the world to do business..." Hire this American worker! He's cheap! "Reducing regulation..." And he's gonna get even cheaper!

"Less dependent on foreign sources of foreign sources of energy..." Ha ha ha. "Explosion of frivolous lawsuits..." Got your guts sucked out by a pool pump? You get one dollar. "Bipartisan effort to reform and simplify the Federal Tax Code..." Wait, you mean there'll still be Democrats? "Job training... increase funding for our community colleges..." My wallet! "Compete with anyone, anywhere in the world..." Even Bangalore!

"Poor communities... lost manufacturing... American Opportunity Zones..." So it's an emergency? "Worried they cannot afford health care... uninsured... small companies.. purchase at the discounts available to big companies..." Buy in bulk, save even more. "Tax credit... health savings accounts... low-income Americans... security of insurance... tax-free... take your account with you..." Like COBRA -- which helped drive me into penury! "Insure every poor county in America... rural health center..." Wahl, hoss, you's sick, and you's fucked! Take this heah aspirin. "High cost of lawsuits... must pass Medical Liability reform now..." It's the lawyers' fault, see! Big Pharma is on your side, but John Edwards and his pool-suckin' lawsuits wants to fuck you over!

"Comp time and flex time... laws should never stand in the way of a more family-friendly workplace." Your wife will still have to work 60 hours a week. "Home ownership... all-time high... seven million affordable homes in the next ten years..." And seven decades of debt for each. "Ownership society..." Something to strive for! "Baby-boom generation... strengthen Social Secuirty... personal accounts... government can never take away..." Hey, the market dropped -- don't worry, government can never take away your remaining 11 dollars of coverage!

"More freedom and more control over your own life.." How Goldwater, not. "Your school will be the path to promise..." And we know what promises are worth. "Standards... results... local people are in charge of their schools..." Hey, sounds like Ocean Hill-Brownsville. "Record funding..." My wallet! Nice story about a poor, Hispanic school. "Soft bigotry of low expectations." See you kids in five years at the job center.

"Time of change... two years of college... one in four students gets there... early intervention... math and science..." But they can't spell! How -- "Vigorous exam... Pell Grants..." Oh. I get it -- money again. But my wallet's still missing.

"Lead an aggressive effort... government health insurance programs..." Please vote for us! We'll pay you! Not much, but -- "georgewbush.com" -- Does it have a bulletin board?

"Expanded opportunity... choice... my opponent..." Time for the "flipflop" thing. "Opposed... opposed..." The boos are coming up. "There are some things my opponent is for... federal spending... Senator from Massachusetts..." Why didn't he say 'Taxachusetts'? Missed a chance there! "Tax and spend, expanding government... politics of the past..." Where have I heard this before?

"Some things do not change... institutions... family commitment... welfare reform... that requires work..." You fucking bums, go starve. "Value its weakest members... unborn child..." Here's your red meat, hayseeds. "Religious charities... never discriminate against them..." Poor, persecuted Christians! "Man and woman... protection of marriage..." Gobble it up, hicks! "Continue to appoint Federal judges..." Yeah yeah.

"My opponent... if you say the heart and soul of America is found in Hollywood..." What the fuck? "Voted against the Federal Marriage Act... calling the Reagan Presidency eight years of moral darkness..." I see you Gomers need MORE RED MEAT! Heah be the shovels -- Feed! Feed!

"Continuing danger of terrorism..." Here we go. Convert text to Black Letter Gothic hereafter.

"September 11... ruins of the Twin Towers... workers and hard hats... 'Do not let me down'... wake up every morning... never relent... whatever it takes." My Pet Goat my ass motherfuckers! I'm the Big Dog now and you can shove your medals up your ass!

"Fought the terrorists... tripled funding... transforming... reforming... staying on the offensive... striking terrorism aborad..." And that's all the explanation you need.

"Pakistan... Afghanistan... Iraq... Al Qaeda...." Protestors on the floor. Let's wait for the ad lib. "Today the government of a free Afghanistan..." We gotta wait some more, I guess. "We have led, many have joined, and America and the world are safer... careful diplomacy... tough decisions... Iraq.." Tell us again, or for the first time. "September 11..." Ah, I see. "Confront threats to America before it is too late.... in Saddam Hussein we saw a threat..." More protestors? Jesus. "Including my opponent... voted to authorize... UN... leaders in the Middle East... a final chance... I faced the kind of decision that comes... must be prepared to make... Do I forget the lessons of September 11?" Well, what else is he going to give 'em? An explanation? "50 million people have been liberated... democracy is coming... intimidate people... Afghan.. 10 million citizens have registered to vote..." And their votes just might count! "Iraq... national elections... January..." There too!

"Free societies in the Middle East will be hopeful societies... free governments fight terrorists, and that helps us keep the peace." Better. "Move toward elections... then our troops will return home with the honor they have earned..." Which will be when? Date? Time? "Our troops... one Army specialist wrote home..." A letter from a serviceman is a poor substitute for a plan. "A superb job for America." Etc.

"... to all of them: you are involved in a struggle of historic proportion... people of Iraq no longer fear... the world is more just and will be more peaceful... our thanks... we will give you all the resources and all the tools and all the support you need for victory." Whatever, in this context, that might be.

"My opponent... $87 billion..." Time for the retard dance! "... 'before I voted against it'..." Haw haw. "...nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat!" Boo yah! "Prime Mister Howard... Berlusconi... Blair..." Yay, good furriners! "MY opponent... 'coalition of the coerced and the bribed'..." He reads the list -- shorter than at the SOTU; it's a big night. "Deserve... not the scorn of a politician." See, when you edit him, he sounds more classy. "America will not forget." We'll send the Netherlands a bouquet. Not that that's a bribe!

"Seven Iraq men came to see me..." The one-handed guys -- a good choice. "A Prayer for God to bless America.... the hope for the oppressed..." Banking on our soft hearts for the underprivileged -- overseas, anyway. "Radical ideology of hate... kill the innocent... fighting freedom... all their cunning and cruelty... freedom is on the march.... wiser use of American strength is to promote freedom... example will send a message of hope... Palestinians... peace with our good friend Israel." See, Kerry forgot that bit. "Young women... their day of equality..." W is for women. "...dream of freedom... America will be more secure and the world more peaceful." Or maybe W is for wistful?

"There've always been doubters. In 1946... New York Times wrote this..." A comparison to the Iraq occupation. "Maybe that same person is around writing editorials." Ha ha. Fuckin' New York Slimes! Real patriots read thuh pennysaver an' maybe some books by Tom Clancy! "Because that generation of Americans..." The Greatest Generation, we need not add. "...safer world today." See, Iraq is just like WWII. Only you need jokes to prove it.

"Settlers on perilous journey... colonies to rebellion... aid the rise of Germany, Japan... noble story goes on... lead the cause of freedom... millions in the Middle East plead in silence for freedom... freedom is not America's gift to the world, it is the Almighty's gift..." Very pretty. If only you could believe the guy.

"Seize this moment and used it to build... future secuirty... depend on us... stand with me." Well, who else? That flipflop guy? This'n will keep queers from marryin' each other!

"Last four years you and I have come to know each other... you know what I believe... I have a few flaws... correct my English... Schwarzenegger..." Haw. "A certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'" First good joke of the night. "A little too blunt..." It ain't braggin' if you pretend it's self-deprecation!

"Tried to comfort Americans who lost the most on September 11... learned firsthand that ordering Americans into battle... returned the salute of soldiers... held the children... met with parents and wives and husbands who have received a folded flag... how can people so burdened with sorrow also feel such pride?... liberty was precious to the one they lost." Not bad. Peggy write it? "Three miles from here... lifted a flag over the ruins... for as long as our country stands... resurrection of New York City... here a nation rose."

This, of course, is why they came to New York: to soak up the blood and feed on it.

"Our military... veterans... young people... heroes... workers and entrepreneurs... optimism... having come this far, our tested and confident nation can achieve anything.... to everything we know, there is a season... now we have reached the time for hope." I know what I'm hoping for.

"Safer world... liberty at home... a calling from beyond the stars..." In a galaxy far, far away, Luke Skywalker battles heavy-breathing military man, but prevails because he has the Force and the wisdom of a gnome called Rova.

"Grateful for our freedom... confident... may God bless etc. etc."

Somewhere David Brooks is kissing his ass. Thanks be to God it's over, and please leave our City as soon as possible.

BULLHORN, BASEBALL, AND BULLSHIT. George Pataki is giving 9/11 thanks to Bush, America, et alia on behalf of New York -- New York State, that is. This is like what Pataki does in the "I Love New York" campaign -- tell the country that, sure, the City's nice, but Poughkeepsie, Peeksill (where he's from), and Podunk (yes, we do have a Podunk) are every bit as important. Piggybacking, cultural and economic, is his stock in trade.

The "flip-flop" chant seems to energize this crowd, as the Tomahawk Chop energizes Braves fans, and seems already to be every bit as tiresome.

Another fake New Yorker, Fred Thompson, narrates a Bush film: "What do a bullhorn and a baseball have in common?" Let's puzzle over this mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma a while as we wait for The Leader to speak...

AROUND TOWN. After a long day at work I went over to see how the protests were going. The City wasn't making it easy to reach the intake point of the ANSWER march at 31st and 8th. I went down 8th Avenue to 34th, where I was blocked; cut down 9th, and found no access at 31st. On to 10th Avenue. People carrying signs, looking around. People on cell phones: "They're making us walk down. Probably to 23rd Street." Guys lounging in front of the Verizon building. One yelled, "If y'all stood up in 2000, you coulda got ridda the motherfucker then." Tons of cops, cop cars, cop bikes, cop motorbikes, cop scooters, cop trucks, and undercover cops (and something I'd never seen -- an AMTRAK police van).

Finally at 10th and 26th Street I got to turn with a bunch of people with signs ("You on strike?" asked some neighborhood kids) onto 8th, where I could see about 300 protestors massed five blocks uptown, hooting and waving signs and listening to a recording of "War (What Is It Good For)," and a huge maze of police gates lining and clogging the streets behind them. It looked like a trap.

Next stop Union Square. Most of the police were massed on surrounding blocks; the 50 or 60 cops on the scene were hanging loose. It reminded me of a cross between the old Avenue C thieves' market and the old Tompkins Square. The south end was mobbed -- at least as many bodies as I saw uptown, in a much smaller space -- mostly with youngsters, chatting and chanting, surrounded by merch tables with anti-Bush stickers and T-shirts (a simple Bush-face-with-"no"-logo was the most popular item; others employed swastikas to make their point). Near a little carpet of abandoned signs ("I am marching for my grandmother and she is PISSED"), a fellow sitting in a lawn chair held a sign commemorating Jesus A. Suarez del Solar, killed in Iraq. The man said Jesus was his son, and he was there waiting for Bush to tell him when the troops were coming home.

On the other side of 14th Street, hundreds of people were milling, eyes on the Square, waiting to see what came next. One guy was practicing break-dance moves on the sidewalk.

A little further north on the Square people lounged at picnic tables, and strolled under the trees. A boy and girl in ratty denims sat cross-legged and very close together on the pavement against a low wall, out of the light, talking softly. All around, bars and restaurants did a brisk trade, and streams of passers-by headed home from work.

SHORTER TACITUS: Why do these New Yorkers insist on reciprocating my obvious contempt?

CHENEY SPEAKS. I guess you have to be a Republican to get anything out of this. I keep waiting for the Powerpoint presentation. Wasn't he livelier four years ago? Maybe the teleprompter has a warning light hooked up by WiFi to his pacemaker, and Dick's trying not to hit the red.

I'm outta here. Let me know if he has a stroke or something.

CRANKY AS ZELL. Since when is Abe Simpson a Demmycrat? And I see he's trumped Schwarzenegger's Nixon ref by citing Wendell Willkie. I hope we have time for a Herbert Hoover panegyric before this Convention's over.

Zell intimates that America would cease to be a free country if Kerry is elected. Good Lord. How did we get through eight years of Clinton without gulags? If the election doesn't go his way, will Zell take to the woods with his shootin' ahrn?

He strikes me as nuts. Of course, I think Arnold's speech was better suited to a WWF cage match than a political convention. I suppose history may prove me wrong, if we have history.

BOO HOO, THEY HATE US AGAIN. The Right's narrative of the moment is that we New Yorkers have been just awful to our RNC guests:

Many New Yorkers seem to feel that they have to do everything possible to tell the delegates, and the world at large, that they hate Republicans...

Shortly after Sept. 11 -- I mean for like two seconds -- New York was as American and determined as any other town. That seems like an eternity ago. It is barely a dream.

In a way this development is comforting. I imagine it was part of the Republicans' original plan in coming here to represent us citizens to the rest of America as grateful beneficiaries of the GOP's post-9/11 leadership. Obviously that isn't gonna play, so now we are being called ingrates.

Of course this, too, could be a winning strategy for the Bushites. It is very shrewd of the President to accept the Firefighters' endorsement in Queens tonight. Our most popular cop shows, after all, portray New York as a city of skels, held in check only by the nobility and righteousness of cops and firemen, and America may be comforted by the idea that, though Gotham's residents rail against their leader, its uniformed ubermenschen respect his authority.

But at least they understand, if only dimly, that when we say no, we mean no. Though they are perfectly welcome to come back when they stop consecrating their candidates with the blood of our fallen in causes we disdain.

"MOMENTS -- MOMENTS --" There is, too, substantive posting by RNC bloggers! In addressing the Ed Schrock thing (Republican gets outed, quits), GOP blogger Slant Point explains homosexuality:

But really, the gay label is way too simplistic. Each side treats it like an either or, when in fact the truth may be that more and more Americans are engaging in bisexual moments -- moments -- as a result of sexual addictions.

So while the gay community will point to hypocrisy -- the numerous quotes from Schrock's past demonstrate an opposition to the leading efforts of gay activism -- we may simply be seeinng a man who took a sexual problem too far.

This, by God, is a unique approach to the GOP's gay rights issue: there are no gays, no straights -- only sex addicts, experiencing bisexual moments.

Slant Point had previously announced, "My message too will be Republican, but not just for America -- I aim to change NYC itself." If that post is an example of his schtick, I think we can afford to be charitable, and wish him luck.

BUT YOU ARE, BLANCHE, YOU ARE! "I guess I'm feeling a little like a flak for the Republican Party." -- Roger L. Simon

FREE MARKETS, FREE BAR. The RNC has caused a widespread outbreak of bullshit fever. Over at Reason -- you know, the "libertarian" magazine? -- you can read photo funnies about how hilarious it is when cops beat/arrest protestors. Those wacky free marketeers! They love freedom, but hate hippies worse.

FOR A SECOND THERE I thought someone had slipped me some acid and that was why the Olsen Twins looked and sounded so weird.

I think I'm going to give the First Lady a miss. When Bill Frist is the substantive highlight of your evening, you should quit while you're ahead.

THE NIXON REPUBLICAN. I think it was Clark Clifford who referred to Reagan as an "amiable dunce." Well, Schwarzenegger proves that you don't even have to be amiable anymore.

He became a Republican in emulation of Nixon ("a breath of fresh air") versus the "socialism" of... Hubert Humphrey. (Four years from now, Republican Governor Vin Diesel will tell us all about that bastard FDR.)

Schwarzenegger then tells the unemployed and struggling not to be girly-men. His argument against the "Two Americas" idea is that he visited soldiers. Then some more about tyranny, then he visits some more soldiers. I guess this isn't a policy speech.

If this shit goes over, the country is in much worse shape than I thought.

FOLLOW THE MONEY (WITH FINGERS REACHING). At the RNC, Bill Frist has the severe enunciation and choppy gestures of a TV pitchman. Come to think of it, so has Gore, on occasion. Is this a Tennessee thing? Or just the long legacy of Pappy O'Daniel?

He's very strongly against trahhhl lawyers, of course, and pleads that doctors be protected legislatively from the rising insurance premiums which their depradations have caused. This is one of those ideas that sounds good until you actually hear one of its leading advocates explain it; then you start thinking, wait a minute -- are we really ready to restrain juries from giving large settlements in order to keep insurance rates down? If so, will we also hold the insurers' feet to the fire, and require that they slash their rates by an equal percentage of the projected savings?

That I'd like to see! Never happen, of course. If anything, the trend is toward having cash-strapped state governments muscle in on large punitive settlements as "windfall" profits that should serve the interests of the state. Such a plan, in fact, was proposed just this year by tonight's star speaker, Governor Schwarzenegger.

LAST-MINUTE SURGE. The race for stupidest RNC commentary is extremely tight. At National Review Online, there are multiple contenders. But David Brooks really stole a march with today's column, in which he posited McCain, Giuliani, and -- get this --Arnold Schwarzenegger as avatars of "courage":

First, they are clear and self-confident in their beliefs... Second, they know their own minds... Third, they are obsessed with character. When they talk about problems, they talk about selfishness and dishonor... There is something chivalric and archaic about this form of political courage. Churchill and Thatcher had it, so did T.R. But today it is disdained in schools, where gentler virtues are held dear. And the movement-dominated organizations that now dominate our politics hate it...

First, "clear and self-confident in [his] beliefs," "know[s] [his]own mind," and "obsessed with character" could as easily describe Norman Bates as these guys.

Second, there is always something comic about a bespectacled, manicured academic like Brooks complaining that we're all turning into wimps, and gushing over Republican tough guys.

Third and Finally, other than party affiliation, what does Brooks' trio of objective correlatives have in common? McCain I grant is courageous, and his quiet dignity last night is the way courageous people actually comport themselves. But Giuliani? I appreciate that on September 11 he did not hide under his desk and crap his pants, but what possible Mayor of New York would have? (Seriously, think about it.)

Outside that brief period, Giuliani has uniformly devoted his life to bullying the weak and sucking up to the strong, with the occasional break for extra-marital affairs. (Oh, and this isn't the first time he has tried to leverage 9/11 to increase his own power and prestige. He actually tried to get the 2001 mayoral election delayed and keep himself in office past his term for a "indeterminate" amount of time. Fortunately, Freddy Ferrer told him to go fuck himself and we had the election on schedule. No disaster ensued except Bloomberg.)

As for Schwarzenegger, "chivalric"? Come fucking on.

While Andrea Peyser draws breath, Brooks will still have to run for it, but I expect to see him in the semifinals at least.

WHO KNEW Giuliani would do a comedy act? And he mixed the zingers with bathos, with an aplomb that could win him a regular telethon hosting gig if the Republicans find him too liberal to run for high office.

But they may not be able to avoid him. The Noo Yawk stories make an excellent dressing for the same old heartland politics -- had to get Saddam, Iraq is free, Kerry's a flip-flopper, etc. He's plumping for Bush but he's working for Rudy. As usual.

Favorite line: President Bush "can see into the future." To top it, Arnold will have to claim that Bush can rip up phone books.

BLOGGER TRIUMPHALISM PART 45,399. I heard a lot of stuff about how the Democratic Convention bloggers were all about the "'Oooh, I saw Ben Affleck' type of posting." Here's a current roundup from the RNC bloggers:

GOP BABES OF THE DAY. The hostesses at the Cablevision Suite. Super Size Them Mrs. America 2003, Erika Harold (interview) -- Real World San Francisco star (and new mother -- see the family in line) Rachel Campos Duffy...

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Miss America Erika Harold ...

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Miss America Erika Harold is visiting Bloggers Row!

I went to the excellent National Review party tonight with my girls Lisa (btw, go wish her a happy birthday) and Jessica. It was insane. The place was wall to wall packed. I ran into my polling teacher from grad...

Shortly after our interview with Ari Fleischer we went to the Turtle Bay Grill for NRO Bar Night with the folks from National Review. It was packed, but it was a good time. I got to meet Jonah Goldberg, and...

Dashing fromm MSG to parties around the city is not fun. I suppose the reward is the party, of course, but traffic is pretty slow with cones lining nearly every street in Midtown Manhattan. Still, the quickest way across town was by cab. We hit...

It's good to see the grown-ups back in charge.

UPDATE SEPT. 1: Great minds think alike.

HATERS. At the RNC John McCain gave a characteristically lucid, even-tempered speech, positing the campaign as "argument among friends." It's interesting that he didn't set the crowd on fire until he dissed Michael Moore. Suddenly the elephants woke up, smelled red meat, and roared.

I had gotten the impression that we were the ones blinded by hatred of a single individual. Well, maybe so, but at least it's not some guy with a movie camera.

And Moore was in the gallery, laughing! I've heard the bad things people have said about him, but he's certainly not short of guts.

ALICUBLOG ON THE MARCH! I’m not a protest type of guy, and tend to stand out in such crowds like Travis Bickle at a Palantine rally. Nonetheless I hauled my carcass over to Union Square this morning to see what the hubbub was about.

Like most attendees, I didn’t pay much attention to the speakers; the few I caught dished out the usual platitudes, though I admired the woman who bravely asserted after a catalogue of complaints, "When we run society, this kind of thing will not be allowed to happen!"

I was handed enough pamphlets and periodicals to wallpaper a small house, including The Revolutionary Worker, Solidarity News, 1917 (The Journal of the International Bolshevik Tendency), and a bilingual flyer for lunatic millionaire politician Abe Hirschfeld, who vowed to "end police brutality" in whatever post he’s running for this time. The LaRouche people were there too, bless them, still telling all voters willing to read dozens of pages of fine print that our troubles began with Jeremy Bentham, the Abbe Antonio Conti, and the Treaty of Ghent.

Someone was filming what appeared to be a student film: a handheld camera operator circled a young woman in a jean jacket as she looked around at the protestors. The NYPD Technical Assistance Response Unit was also filming. The participants provided lively footage. A ring of Philadelphians clad in black and pink led some anti-Bush cheers. One of them wore a shirt that read, "When I say Gender, you say Fuck." That remains my favorite shirt of the day (though the plaintive "I Still Hate George W. Bush" is up there, too). Even a few of the park bums got in on the act; "Bush gotta go, Bush gotta go," repeated a scrawny man shuffling around with a framed Saturday Evening Post cover under his arm.

When it got around noon I headed down 14th to Seventh Avenue, which was so clogged that we didn’t get moving for about thirty minutes. I shambled along awhile behind a man got up as a Greek Orthodox priest who carried a double-faced placard: the standard UPJ sign on one side, a beautiful gilt-edged print of "Our Mother of Sorrows" cradling the World Trade Center on the other. There were lots of signs around -- hell, people were leaving them by the roadside, and others were picking them up -- ranging from hunks of cardboard with scrawls to classy evil-elephant and Bush-looking-stupid print jobs, along with banners, Bush effigies, and balloons, some of which flew up into the sky to float among the police helicopters.

At 24th Street we passed an impromptu press gallery perched on a construction platform. (A lone Reuters cameraman, too heat-exhausted perhaps to climb, lounged on the sidewalk.) One of the photogs shouted, "Y’all look wonderful!" which raised a great cheer.

There were plenty of cameras within the crowd as well, generally trained on the grungiest protestors and most inflammatory signs. If you want to see that sort of thing, you know where to go.

Eventually I found myself behind a contingent from SIAFU. Never heard of them before (I think they’re these guys), but they were all in purple shirts proclaiming that they were "coming after the elephant and the ass," just in case you thought this was a Kerry rally. They danced in place and got some hearty chants going – "Who we are (who we are) we are the stu-dents (we are the stu-dents) mighty mighty stu-dents…" Other chants, mostly of the "Hey hey, ho ho" variety, popped up along the way.

The crowd was getting bunched up round 25th Street and some of the organizers sprang into action to regulate the flow -- young, mostly female, red bandanas tied on their arms, they linked hands across the avenue and held the pace. Very neatly done. If you want to know why moderates march with fringe groups, it's because the fringe groups know their shit.

Up in the 30s there was no getting out of it -- all the sidewalks and sidestreets were blocked off by metal gates and cops, who seemed attentive but relaxed; a number of them lounged in chairs inside the closed Blimpies at 30th, gazing out at us as if we were a dull TV show and the remote were too far away for them to change the channel.

I went around on this ride twice, and both times the crowd was thinner in front of MSG and on 34th Street – another bright organizational move, relieving tension at a critical juncture (and in the teeth of hundreds of cops). The chanting and booing there were light, there being nothing but police and convention security to yell at. Gaggles of Pro-Bush protestors provided some of the more argumentative marchers with targets at 33rd and Seventh and at 34th and Broadway (again, if you want to see pictures of them -- and claims that they outnumbered or were prettier than the anti-Bush protestors -- you can always go to Instapundit), but most of the crowd seemed to realize that the sheer mass of the march was the message – though everyone voiced loud displeasure at footage of Bush on the giant TV screen on Macy’s south side.

And then we were heading back downtown, with lots of elbow room, and then we were done. On East 14th Street, kids were hauling their boxes into the NYU dorms for the Fall session.

It all went very smoothly, which, given that I have personal experience of how these things can sometimes go, is how I prefer it.

UPDATE. For the visually inclined, there's a nice sequence of protest photos at FSHK.

For crap, go here and the vicinity. "The most disenchanted, dissheveled youth out of the leftest-wing of college campuses"? I don't just call but also certify bullshit. Most of the crowd looked like typical New Yorkers (sounded like them too -- most of the conversations were about where they were going to eat afterwards), Sunday-casual but by no means dissheveled. (Speaking of bullshit, Brookhiser somehow gets twenty pounds of it into his five-pound bag. As a sometime English tutor, I advise him that if he's going to refer to "the only other American flag I spotted," he should clearly indicate where he saw the first one. Reading The Corner's always a nuisance; contextual-reading it is just too much trouble.)

UPDATE 2. Even more lovely pictures here, here, and here. (The first two may cause you trouble if you have a dial-up connection; Margaret, ever polite, taxes your baud rate less.)

Over at The Corner (allegedly from Rick "Dogs and Dogs, Living Together!" Santorum*, but probably crafted by a crack team of GOP speechwriters): "Meanwhile, for the other America, I saw a woman wearing a visored cap with a W on it going out of Bergdorf Goodman." As literary epiphanies go, this is about the worst I've ever seen.

UPDATE 3. Now is a good time to recall Adam Brodsky's insane New York Post article from a week ago: "How fitting it would be if city natives held their own protests and spoke up for themselves, in support of an even tougher War on Terror, both at home and abroad...How satisfying to see locals, who have endured terror first-hand, step up and tell the pacifists to get with the program and defend America." To paraphrase Junior Kimbrough, things haven't worked out for poor Adam. If you are a student of abnormal psychology, his whole column is worth a read, but this will do for wingnut joy-poppers: "Yet even cops and firefighters, New York's last line of defense, are threatening illegal job actions, in the hopes of -- get this! -- winning a raise. (Talk about a lack of patriotism.)" No wonder the cops were relatively chill today.

UPDATE 4. I expected OpinionJournal, one of the moonbats' fave caves, to come up with a honey for Protest Day, and they gave me an article by Larry Gatlin:

Since Bruce Springsteen is about to "Rock the Vote" for John Kerry, I'd be only too happy to start booking my motel rooms to hit the road for George W. Bush. With my brothers Steve and Rudy, my buddies the Oak Ridge Boys, Lee Greenwood, Mark Wills and any number of other country music artists who get their support from the heartland, I'm going to find the time, come fall, to tell America that we're playing, and praying, for President Bush.

I like the Gatlin Brothers a lot, and looked forward to their invasion of this bluest of blue towns. Alas, check out Gatlin's tour dates for the remainder of 2004. Still, I guess Bush will have the Branson vote covered.

UPDATE 5. Just in case you were wondering what the Bush base thought about all this:

That [an anti-Fox sentiment] certainly seemed to be the most popular chant. I wonder what peercentage of the wackos were homofascists? Seemed tons were carrying rainbow signs. -- Guillermo

As far as I'm concerned, they should march every one of those bastards around the hole that once was the World Trade Center to give them the clue as to what appeasment gave us. -- Gunner03

The Vietnam War was won in 1968 but it was traitors like Kerry and Fonda who lost it at home. -- CROSSHIGHWAYMAN

Most of them are not employed in jobs like the rest of us. IF they work at all, they work on their computers, thinking up ways of protesting and terrorising your average American citizen... -- Curlewbird (They got us there! - RE)

BuBush went to war defeat terror and avenge what happened to New
York...NY repays him by overwhelmingly supporting Kerry...it was a mistake to hold the convention in this City of Ingrates. --BushBacker (There too! -- RE)

Couldn't you see Sadam, Stalin, Lenin putting up with the likes of today? It would be so sad if not so ironic.Yesiree...Higher Education at its best... -- TwoBits

WI naively believed that when the rest of the country rushed to New York's aid, despite the contempt that many New Yorkers feel for :flyover country," that something might change... In the end, liberalism trumps everything, even simple gratitude. -- BushBacker (Thanks for nothing, asshole. -- RE)

Ain't it the truth! My father-in-law was a retired Army captain who spent several years in a POW camp in Germany. His liberalism was so overpowering that he actually voted for Bill Clinton! His family is from the Boston area and they are dyed in the wool liberals. You're got to wonder what there is about liberalism that allows it to trump almost any other factor. -- jwrjr

I SUSPECT a "Large Portion" of these "Protesters" are "On the Public Dole;" I DOUBT THAT Most of the "Anti-Bush" Protesters in NYC are "Gainfully Employed!" Who Has the Time to Go to NYC for a "Protest!!" -- Doc on the Bay (I work six days a week. On Sundays I tear America down. -- RE)

Heaven forbid should there be another terrorist attack on NYC because I for one w/n feel upset for these 'boobs' who have forgotten... -- Tarheel

And yet the Jews continue to vote Democrat. -- conservativegreatgrandma

Et alia ad nauseum in extremis. (As if you didn't know: all spelling and grammatical errors recorded intact.)

UPDATE 6. Did I call it, or did I call it? Jesus, what an asshole.

*UPDATE 7. They've fixed the Santorum reference at The Corner, attributing those idiotic remarks to Brookhiser. Might there have been a Protest Day mole at NRO? At this writing, a bold tag has been left open, rendering it even uglier than usual. Or maybe (this old HTML hound observes) the bad angle-slash-b-closeangle was done by Ned Flanders.

UPDATE VIII. Roger L. Simon sez: the protest made me feel like everyone was against me -- even the Korean who made my sandwich was acting just like Howell Raines -- until a cop and a fellow GOP shill made me believe in America again.

Pray hurry back to Hollywood to work with Michael Ledeen on Die Hard 2 Much, maaaan.

UPDATE THE NINTH. The RedState contingent has arrived in New York and already had trouble with "one angry black woman." Hopefully the first of many! (Hint to Tacitus and friends: you might try losing the Confederate flag bumper stickers.)

UPDATE DIEZ. Little Green Footballs says, "Only three years after September 11 blah blah blah blah..." Do they have only one brain, and pass it around?

UPDATE LEBENTY-LEBEN. Since James Lileks has devoted his Monday Bleat to some hometown reunion, the parade of protest assholes is hereby adjourned. G'night.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM to learn that Tacitus looks like your basic Libertarian alderman candidate. I was picturing Brando in The Young Lions.

He says his site features "worthy individuals of all ideologies." By this I guess he means right, far right, ultraright, here-be-dragons right, and Al Hunt -- I mean, Harley. No wonder the media looks librul to him.

I see Roger L. Simon says this is the first time he's ever voted for a Republican Presidential candidate. Hey, he looked like a pro to me.

BRIEF. I turned off the game in late innings with the Mets leading the Dodgers 6-1. I did not worry that they might lose. They would have had to work awfully hard to blow a lead like that, and the Mets are not currently inclined toward hard work.