WHO KNEW Giuliani would do a comedy act? And he mixed the zingers with bathos, with an aplomb that could win him a regular telethon hosting gig if the Republicans find him too liberal to run for high office.

But they may not be able to avoid him. The Noo Yawk stories make an excellent dressing for the same old heartland politics -- had to get Saddam, Iraq is free, Kerry's a flip-flopper, etc. He's plumping for Bush but he's working for Rudy. As usual.

Favorite line: President Bush "can see into the future." To top it, Arnold will have to claim that Bush can rip up phone books.