Tuesday, September 25, 2018


Durn elites be laffin' at mah Preznit:

June 6, 2019 -- At the G7 meeting today at the Centre de Congrès Bellevue in Biarritz, President Trump defecated in his hand and flung his waste into the audience. Fortunately the President's copromaniacal antics were anticipated by the other attendees, and the fecal matter only struck some waiters and Maggie Haberman.

Afterwards American reporters shouted questions about the incident at the President through a large, clear plastic tarp; President Trump laughed, gave a shit-smeared thumbs-up, and said "Some joke, hah?" before being escorted to a waiting sanitation facility.

The President and his followers have always reveled in his outrageous behavior and the shocked reactions of his opponents, but until September of last year his outrages were mostly confined to racist and sexist remarks and offenses to common sense. However, since his self-congratulatory remarks drew laughter at the United Nations General Assembly in 2018, his antics have become increasingly bizarre.

At a rally in Sheboygan, Wisconsin last February, for example, the President led the crowd in a sing-along of his own version of Chuck Berry's "My Ding-a-Ling," with apparently improvised lyrics such as "Suck my Ding-a-Ling, fuck my Ding-a-Ling, It's a Ring-a-Ding-Ding, that bitch Hillary can suck my fuck, you better believe it." Trump reprised some of the song later that week at a press conference with the Dalai Lama.

In March at a meeting of the National Chamber of Commerce the President appeared to break wind loudly enough to be picked up by his microphone; responding to the audience's muffled, embarrassed laughter, the President said, "Looks like we got a bunch of elitists here," and blew raspberries for a solid minute, interspersing comments such as "Do I offend you?" and "Ooooh, pardon me." At the end he lit a match, gave the audience the finger, and walked off to tumultuous applause.

The raspberries have replaced "You're fired" and other Trump catchphrases of days gone by; teachers in deep South states complain that their students frequently make the noise, or actually break wind, when they get bored, and comedian Steven Crowder filled an entire podcast entirely with raspberries and cries of "triggered, snowflakes?" Red "THPPPPPPPT" hats have become a popular alternative to the MAGA hats of days gone by.

"The American people are tired of the false pieties and fancy European manners of the failed Obama administration," former Kansas governor Sam Brownback explained on his radio show. "And as you may know," he added with a sly smile, "my own last name has something to do with shit."

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