Tuesday, January 20, 2015

SOTU WHAT?

I leave the recap to National Review's leading torture enthusiast:


Yeah, all in all a good night. It makes me sad I didn't activate PBS yet on my Apple TV. I missed David Brooks! Well, I don't want to hurt myself laughing.

UPDATE. Don't want to miss the Washington Times' coverage:
President Obama spent much of Tuesday’s State of the Union calling for civility in politics — then taunted Republicans over his two election victories, after many of them applauded the looming end of his political career.
Obama made a so-called "joke," which is straight out of the Alinsky playbook! Quick, someone write another column about American Sniper lest we lose momentum.

UPDATE 2. Speaking of which:


 

Snipermania is back! Now to get some of those hipsters dressing like troops instead of 19th Century dandies. I know -- let's wreck the economy again; then, they'll have no choice but to join up!

UPDATE 3. Here to make everything worse as usual, Jonah Goldberg:
Like a lot of people, I found tonight’s speech a chore. That’s less of a criticism of Obama than it sounds. I find all State of the Unions to be tedious, particularly this late in a presidency. I do think it was better delivered than most of his State of the Union addresses. I didn’t, however, think it was particularly well-written. “The shadow of crisis has passed”? C-minus.
There are at all times lots of middle-aged white guys scratching their nuts in their Barcaloungers, seeing sumpin' on TV, and going "meh," sometimes at muttering length, without having a particular complaint beyond how comfy their junk was sitting while they watched. But only a few of them get wingnut welfare and a national platform, and among their few obligations is to pad, pad, pad 'til it looks like business. Eventually we find that Goldberg ran out of proper stuffing in the first paragraph:
More telling, the last 15 minutes amounted to Obama’s golden oldies. His real foe is cynicism. We can all work together. There are no red states or blue states. We are all our “brother’s keeper.” 
The difference is that the first time we heard this stuff it had at least superficial plausibility because the Obama presidency hadn’t happened yet. Five, six, ten years later, it’s all pretty sad. It’s sad because it shows that Obama still thinks his original material is fresh when it’s actually played out (and some of it was piffle to begin with — don’t get me started on “my brother’s keeper”.)
Yeah, Obama thinks Americans will actually go for this "brother's keeper" bullshit. Well, how can you expect a secret Muslim to understand Christians anyway. Besides ha ha Obama because Jonah Goldberg knows what Americans really want: Bar-B-Q Ranch Lime Sriracha Cheetos, and torture. You're so over! This is the age of Presidential frontrunner Ben Carson!

Oh, there's more -- e.g. "[Obama] promises all sorts of 'free' stuff out of one side of his mouth and then insists we must raise taxes to pay for it. Oh, so it’s not free, huh?" Wait'll the sheeple hear about this! -- but I warn you, it's the sort of thing that, if they handed it to Joni Ernst last night before her speech, she would have told them, "Come on, nobody's gonna go for this."

273 comments:

  1. M. Krebs11:20 PM

    I have to say, it was the best speech I've heard out of him since he was first elected.

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  2. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume11:22 PM

    then taunted Republicans over his two election victories


    Oh dear. Their feelings are hurt.

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  3. LittlePig11:30 PM

    Sarah Palin represent~

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  4. M. Krebs11:32 PM

    He taunted Republicans over his two election victories by saying that he won both times. Oh, the humanity!

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  5. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume11:42 PM

    I'm just surprised one of those geniuses didn't yell "You lie" when he said he wasn't running again.

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  6. freq flag11:56 PM

    I reach, brother.

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  7. I'm on my way back to the Bronx from a lecture on Neanderthal dentition- a state of the genus speech, if you will. Roy, Dorian says hi- I rode the F with her to Times Square.

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  8. M. Krebs11:59 PM

    If any of these nitwits went to the local Walmart in Bumfuck, Tennessee, and actually came into contact with the legions on rednecks who really wear camouflage as fashion, they'd retreat to their rooms at Howard Johnson's faster than you can say Saul Alinski.

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  9. #breadbags

    https://twitter.com/hashtag/breadbags?src=hash
    ~

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  10. freq flag12:07 AM

    Did they have a separate camera just for the shoes?

    Did she grasp a big, round, throbbing, massive cylinder, bursting with 64 American ounces of corporate-approved soda, raise it to her petulant mouth, glistening with fire-red lipstick, insert the straw, and begin sucking in that sweet, sweet, Don't-Tread-On-Me forbidden Big Gulp?

    I mean, WTF, Twitter?!! Don't leave me hangin' here!
    #JoniFap #RichLowry'sRealMurka

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  11. JohnMyroro12:13 AM

    It's what I'm wearing to the hog castration.

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  12. JennOfArk12:25 AM

    Dumb and Coke.

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  13. Wait, what? I missed the SOTU, being at work.

    Why would you put bread bags OVER your shoes? Seems like a good way to slide around. Put them on the inside to keep your feet dry.

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  14. Gromet12:55 AM

    Let's quote us up some of that Joni Ernst: "We were raised to live simply, not to waste... You see, growing up, I had only one good pair of shoes. So on rainy school days, my mom would slip plastic bread bags over them to keep them dry. But I was never embarrassed. Because the school bus would be filled with rows and rows of young Iowans with bread bags slipped over their feet. Our parents may not have had much, but they worked hard for what they did have. These days though, many families feel like they're working harder and harder, with less and less to show for it."


    So! I take it she'd approve if the president said in his SOTU, "Parents, it doesn't matter if you can't afford shoes for your kids. And kids, hold your head high, cuz your parents fought hard to earn those bags you're wearing. And America, here's the best part: I promise you no one will be embarrassed by their poverty if everyone is in it. If we're all equally circling the economic drain -- not quite sucked down! Circling! All of us together, as a community! That's a goal that I share with Republicans like Senator Ernst -- to create an America where everyone has the exact same situation, so no one feels like they're better and no one feels like they're worse. And ideally, that situation will really suck ass, because what makes us great as a people is to never lose sight of the value of hard work in material excess like a second pair of shoes. Therefore, as President, tonight I'm calling on Congress to help me strike the exact right equilibrium in our economy, between work and acquisition, so we don't work harder and harder for less and less, or one harder for one less, or even harder for just the same, or the same amount of hard but for slightly less, or more -- no. The only thing Americans ask is the same amount of hard, for the same shitty result. Which I remind you, my fellow Americans, in Joni Ernst's America, means not one kid in your town having reliable access to shoes. Let's hope it doesn't rain. God bless the United States."

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  15. JennOfArk1:07 AM

    What is it with Republicans and bags? Teabags, cobags, shitbags, douchebags and now breadbags?

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  16. DocAmazing1:49 AM

    I would pay her to put breadbags--preferably opaque ones--over those camouflage pumps.

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  17. smut clyde4:48 AM

    Obama made a so-called "joke," which is straight out of the Alinsky playbook!

    Even worse, he forced his opponents into a display of classless incivility that gave him the opportunity for his riposte!

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  18. i toast you, real americans--let us not waffle, let us not loaf, but rise unleavened by doubt and certain in our kneads.

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  19. She'd approve if he were Republican, and white...but, alas.

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  20. The camo does make her feet look smaller.

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  21. ...then taunted Republicans over his two election victories...


    The civil thing to do would be to win but then step down so as not to gloat, like that good boy Albert Gore.

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  22. They're Iowans.

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  23. Megalon6:35 AM

    Fashions by the Ignatius Reilly designer label.

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  24. Which I remind you, my fellow Americans, in Joni Ernst's America, means not one kid in your town having reliable access to shoes.

    I must take exception to this: In the America of any True Republican Patriot, all the shoes in town are owned by ONE kid. The rest make do by looking at a single unsold pair of mismatched left and right shoes sitting in the drug store window.

    And any kid who complains about not having shoes is a class-warfare promoting socialist.

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  25. I want to buy this comment the next round of drinks while gently putting my hand on the small of its back.

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  26. That's true for some of them, but I think you'd be surprised at how many Republican representatives are just cleaned-up WalMart denizens. More than a few of these guys and gals were wearing camo, shopping at WalMart, and narrowly avoiding "hold my beer and watch this" life-ending encounters before they donned a poly-twill suit and ran for office.

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  27. Megalon7:38 AM

    Senator Ernst's wardrobe provided by the Ignatius Reilly collection.

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  28. Megalon7:41 AM

    WTF Disqus? Why did it post it twice, once as a guest?

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  29. randomworker7:48 AM

    How many times did she say "I, me, my" did somebody count for Ron Fornier?

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  30. Or maybe issue a statement noting that Sharia Law forbids wearing a plastic bag over one's head.

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  31. I would like to toast this comment, and then jam with it later.

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  32. According to the story, Joni's mother was concerned about keeping her good pair of shoes dry.


    There was no mention of any concern about her feet.

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  33. coozledad8:38 AM

    I was just thinking about submitting an order for some "Wonder Shoes" to a Chinese prison factory. Given the Republican taste for shitty bread and hick symbolism, there ought to be some bank!

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  34. Cato the Censor8:45 AM

    Those shoes Sen. Ernst wore are probably the ugliest thing I'll see today. Thanks a lot. Nothing spells H-I-C-K in early 21st Century America more than camoflauge-styled attire.

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  35. Especially if you can get them stocked in the "Clown Supplies" aisle at WalMart.

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  36. Brian Schlosser9:09 AM

    Just like Michael Moore!!

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  37. Brian Schlosser9:13 AM

    Panem et hickensis

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  38. Brian Schlosser9:20 AM

    It seems the Republicans want a modified version of the British Parliament, where they can jeer and mock while the President is talking, but still get to act mortally offended if he dares to shoot back.

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  39. Sadly, Republicans and the American pundit class decided long ago that ignorant hicks are the true Americans who need to be looked up to and respected and sought out for their opinions on all matters great and small. It's been a long, hard slog, but the GOP and the pundits have convinced much of the nation that stupid is where it's at.

    Atlantic Ocean now flooding Miami streets and submerging islands off the North Carolina coast? Don't talk to that climate scientist! Let's interview Cletus the Clam Digger 'cause Cletus knows way more than that pointy-headed elitist.

    Are vaccines safe? Don't talk to that epidemiologist, ignore that pediatrician, and don't bother looking at nearly a century of data. Let's talk to this former porn star 'cause she knows way more than those so-called experts.

    Yes, from courting the hayshakers in Iowa to reminding us of the overwhelming importance of the "NASCAR voters" or the "soccer moms" or the "homemaker cohort," our media and pundit class work very very hard to make sure nobody ever considers the effects of policies or the implications of facts.

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  40. M. Krebs9:24 AM

    But only when the president's a Democrat. When there's a Republican president, they want a modified version of British royalty.

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  41. I'm thinking they want something more like the Russian Duma--one party in control of everything headed by a strong daddy leader. And none of this pesky "democracy" bullshit.

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  42. Brian Schlosser9:36 AM

    Yes, modified to, say, c. 1214

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  43. susanoftexas10:16 AM

    The Gulf of Mexico is rising too. Louisiana is losing 16 square miles a year. They say by 2100 it will rise 4 feet, which will take out part of Galveston.
    Something like half of our refineries are there. They cost billions and take years to build.

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  44. susanoftexas10:17 AM

    I was wondering why he had a blue chicken painted on his forehead.

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  45. If you have to ask, you are part of the problem.

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  46. the liberal fascists would make her wear paper bags on her feet instead of plastic.

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  47. Indeed. I can just imagine K-Lo or even Jonah the Fail attending the average Georgia "woodsie." I think they'd come to suspect that many of the "salt-of-the-earth" types that they worship in print might not even be human.

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  48. Or re-usable bags made from recycled materials.

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  49. Ted Cruz did say that he found the speech too partisan and divisive so there's that. Perhaps Obama could have called for his own arrest for treason. You know, in the interest of comity and bipartisanship.

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  50. I saw that Fournier article too, and I swear, what was the point? Isn't saying "we" and "our" something all politicians do when speaking publicly? Did Fournier really think Obama was just going to go up there and take personal credit for all the positive developments of the last few months? Village pundits are so bizarre.

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  51. I was going to respond in a devil's advocate kind of way, to make the point that such thinking is simply democratic...


    but I just can't argue from that point of view without feeling disgusted.

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  52. Summation: Bread bags, bread bags, pass the "Keystone Jobs Bill", repeal Obamacare, "Why won't Obama reach across the aisle!?" "I Love the troops.", "God Bless America the greatest, most special country in the whole Universe!"

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  53. With bags on her feet and testicles in her hair...If she wasn't the Corn Maiden at the county fair then there is no god.

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  54. It must have been an Iowa thing, since in Illinois, everyone's lower-middle-class parents had the sense to buy their kids galoshes.

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  55. susanoftexas10:59 AM

    Wouldn't the sidewalk tear up breadbags in no time? They're just thin plastic.
    Also, we all know how fair, reasonable, egalitarian and empathic a busload of schoolchildren is.

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  56. DN Nation10:59 AM

    Ron Fournier is a conservative through and through who play acts as a slightly left-leaning centrist because he desperately wants validation from the Kewl Village Kids. It's absolutely pathetic.

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  57. https://twitter.com/lizzwinstead/status/557751760719462401

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  58. She COULD have worn Wonder Bread bags instead! You know, because FOLKSY and POOR yet honest! And 1901 Middle America yadda yadda argle bargle pull up your pants and stop looting, ghetto people, 'cause we were poor and didn't break any laws, 'cept maybe incest and bestiality and adultery and feudin' and moonshine BUT WHOLESOME FAMILY VALUES!! *wink*


    (I can't fucking believe she winked. Like we needed another one!)

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  59. Would that she would wear camo zentai, then.

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  60. Wasn't one of the big reasons that the wingnuts hated the Left was that we supposedly wanted everyone to be equally poor, instead of equally rich like the Libertarians want?

    Christ, maybe we should have just talked more folksy. Wonder Bread Marxism! Arise, shackled masses! You have nothing to lose but your twist ties!

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  61. white flavorless starch product--just like her!

    repeated just because I want to bask in its awesomeness.

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  62. BBBB how come I didn't realize you were a new yorker? Can we ever organize an Alicublog/Alinsky meet-up (or metope, as the autocorrect would have it.)

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  63. herbert! herbert!

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  64. Galoshes hadn't reached Iowa--didn't get there until ought 8, I believe. 2008.

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  65. For sure the pope used to be against bread bags, or whatever they were calling them.

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  66. the "Clown Supplies" aisle at WalMart


    The whole store?

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  67. I was kind of hoping he'd call for the forcible removal of one of each of the Koch brothers hundred pair of shoes, for redistributing to the one legged poor.

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  68. yeah, the joyous/snooty tone thing stinks of old man racism.

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  69. That's a space egg of the future!

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  70. Actually I thought they were an intriguing variant on the fuck me pumps Palin wore. Call them "I'll kill you" pumps.

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  71. I can go with rule by the people--if we have a functioning press.

    Which we don't. It's the major element that the Founding Fathers (Jefferson in particular) thought supremely necessary for the survival of democracy. The role of the media is (or should be) to keep the citizens informed on the doings of their government, on the effects of policies and programs, and on the state of the country in general. The media today fulfills none of those functions.

    So Cletus wonders why his clambeds are being closed due to contamination, and he's told by his Republican representative that the problem is too much regulation by that damnable EPA. And if the story of Cletus's plight makes the paper, you read about Cletus's plight, the Congressman's view, the local government's statement that it's beyond their control--and maybe, back on page B-16 in the 31st graph of the story, something from the EPA about how having their budget slashed 5 years in a row has limited their ability to stop polluters like the one contaminating Cletus's clambeds.

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  72. "Oh, Jodi! Nobody wants a king!"

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  73. They have a strong daddy leader in Obama and they fucking hate him.

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  74. on the small of its back

    where the wireless radio is hidden for the debates

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  75. randomworker11:24 AM

    They want the kind that can waggle his titties at them. Like you-know-who.

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  76. randomworker11:24 AM

    Her mom was a dimwit. My mom had us put them over our socks.

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  77. redoubtagain11:28 AM

    Yeah, very much this. (I had the kind with the metal flaps on them.) I'm gobsmacked that (a) I'm older than Senator Hogcutter and (b) that she expects us to believe that little kids wore bread bags on the outside of their shoes in Iowa winters.

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  78. My reaction last night to Ernst's dribble:

    "Oh, god, what a load of "jus' folks" bullshit."

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  79. Magatha11:30 AM

    No, not just her good pair of shoes: she said they were her only pair of shoes. You can't go to school wearing your hog-castrating boots. I'm a million years older than her, I grew up in the mid-west, we weren't farm folk, but we were lower middle class, and we still managed to obtain galoshes. Bread bags. Her mom didn't bake the family's bread herself? What a spoiled kid, huh?

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  80. I just want to know WTF bread bags are made out of in Iowa.



    Because unless the kids were carried to the bus stop in palanquins, the bags would last a couple of steps. And until they did start to rip, children would be walking around in something slipperier than a smooth leather sole, which would result in lots of slips and falls and head injuries and ... Hmmm.

    Anyway, based on personal experience with plastic bags as footwear, Ernst was talking about the practice of slipping plastic bags over your shoes so you could then force your feet into those old rubber galoshes. The plastic bags did stick out of the tops.

    But being a Republican dumbfuck, she can't even get a simple childhood anecdote straight.

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  81. The heels aren't nearly high enough.

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  82. https://twitter.com/jbouie/status/557564070606692352

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  83. Why not just wear the boots and carry the shoes to school in the bag?

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  84. Fournier whitesplains racism to a black man.

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  85. whetstone11:41 AM

    She didn't mention Agenda 21, so you didn't miss much.

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  86. This from the guy who went on and on and on about how Obama needed to be humble and not use personal pronouns too much.

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  87. whetstone11:46 AM

    This is wingnut special pleading in a nutshell. Obama says he's run his last campaign, Republicans applaud—ok, har har. (Except part of the reason it's funny is that he wins, but y'all do what you want.) Obama does the dozens with them, and all of a sudden it's to the fainting couch for everyone.

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  88. petesh11:46 AM

    Well, that's one way of diverting attention from your own metric, which turns out to have said Obama succeeded.
    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2015/01/notes-ongoing-death-parody-high-broderism-edition/comment-page-1#comment-1407259
    And Ms Plastic Bags failed.

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  89. Taunting Republicans sounds like the best reason to become President.

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  90. And the bread itself is white flavorless starch product--just like her!With just enough powdered glass and PCP to make her dangerous!


    ... Wait, no, that's Roman Meal.

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  91. Well, given that it was Ronald Reagan's America that apparently made everyone in Iowa unable to afford two pairs of shoes, I'd say she already did approve.

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  92. To-MAY-to, to-MAH-to.

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  93. BigHank5312:16 PM

    It's a pity Ron Fournier didn't stick with his first career.

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  94. Giant Monster Gamera12:21 PM

    I'd settle for the little plastic bags from the dog park.

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  95. M. Krebs12:21 PM

    Sounds a little disappointing in the comedy department. Rubio and Jindal have set a high bar.

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  96. M. Krebs12:28 PM

    I was just about to say pretty much the same thing. A breadbag wouldn't last 15 minutes on the foot of a seven year old.

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  97. M. Krebs12:31 PM

    Either that, or he's just an idiot.

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  98. M. Krebs12:35 PM

    Lizz Winstead!

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  99. Ernst sports those shoes and then - surprise! - goes on teevee and shoots herself in the foot.


    Republican logic strikes again...

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  100. M. Krebs12:37 PM

    Words are the real rascists.

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  101. M. Krebs12:40 PM

    As always, they have to imitate something.

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  102. redoubtagain12:41 PM

    Are you goin' to Hogcutter Fair
    Breadbags Balls Corn Squeezins' and Slime. . .

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  103. susanoftexas12:51 PM

    No herring boxes without topses for our Darling Clementine?

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  104. M. Krebs12:52 PM

    I had a roommate in grad school who taught me how to use a single bread bag to store and keep separate five one-pound balls of ground beef (bought as one 5lb package cuz that's cheaper). Now there's a life skill.

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  105. Lurking Canadian1:03 PM

    Well, sure she shot herself in the foot. She couldn't see it, to aim safely around it, what with all the camo.

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  106. susanoftexas1:03 PM

    I was in a refinery town right after a leak killed one or more employees. The townspeople were asked if they were worried about exposure. They shrugged. They have nice houses, big RVs, nice cars. They make a very good living.
    Cletus before the contamination would have probably shrugged too.

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  107. Tracy1:09 PM

    Still a bargain at $26.

    http://www.zoro.com/g/Rubber%20and%20Neoprene%20Boots/00056904/?category=6193

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  108. It should have been easy to remember the details if the story were true.


    I doubt that she was telling the truth at all.

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  109. The Jonah update reminds me of why there was only one Sermon on the Mount--because the apostles told Jesus the material would get stale.

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  110. This is all very, very, like "Aieeeee, John Kerry ordered green tea in a heartland restaurant"-- where they did, in fact, serve green tea.

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  111. Mystery solved!


    The informed citizenry really does seem to be the missing piece of the puzzle here. Thanks.

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  112. Why in my day (spits chaw out of the side of her mouth) the new moms in my neck o' the woods saved up our old NYT's delivery bags to wrap our little tots diapers in. But today (consarn it) the young'uns is so uppity they have separate plastic bags in a cute little holder they pull out, same's if it 'twere there little doggies needin' their poop scooped. What's the world comin' to, I say!

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  113. Great, now that song's gonna be stuck in my head the rest of the day...

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  114. People just have the weirdest ideas about how social distance equates to safety from--for example--being killed when the refinery blows up in the next suburb, or being poisoned by shit released upstream from you, or by an uninsured worker serving you food they've contaminated with Hep C in the kitchen, because the table is set with a tablecloth.


    Conversely if you read the newspaper comment threads on the disney outbreak you get an even stranger combination of stranger-danger/disgust and outright crazy lack of coherence. There's nothing to worry about in a measels outbreak because everyone should be vaccinated and the outbreak was caused by mexican immigrants who don't get their kids vaccinated because big pharma dumps "toxic vaccines" on them and they are simultaneously too smart to take them, and too stupid to take them, and come up here to spread their diseases which vaccines don't prevent anyhow.


    Excuse me, my head is spinning, I need to lie down.

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  115. To be honest, I don't believe a word of her story.

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  116. But breasted leather armor would make the opposing army run at you not away.

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  117. Gromet1:22 PM

    "The Bible? A sense of responsibility? Sheer piffle!"

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  118. They had plenty of good government dole money since her family were farmers who recieved price supports and other pay offs. I think they could afford rain boots.

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  119. It was so common I don't know why she'd need to make it up. Maybe she was thinking of Clementine's shoes made out of boxes. Hard to say with these jokers.

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  120. I'm going with horribly depressing. Because no one ever wins a battle of wits with a moron. Since the morons watching don't realize their champion has lost.

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  121. More like "My brother's keeper? A-gain? Mo-om, timmy's being a drag."

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  122. willf1:43 PM

    Oh you and your rye humor.

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  123. M. Krebs1:46 PM

    In honor of Cletus, whom I hope is
    awreetus-awrightus.
    http://youtu.be/cu_kJ4jEJ9A

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  124. Gromet1:50 PM

    "Quiet, Jonah, and eat your loaves and fish. And leave some for other people this time!"

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  125. M. Krebs1:50 PM

    You know what else? If Ernst were truly genuine, she would have said bread sack, not bread bag.

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  126. M. Krebs1:56 PM

    Another thing that Americans have clambered for, and by the grace of God and Mueller's (?) can now buy, is spaghetti that comes pre-broken in half. That's some serious yankee ingenuity right there folks.

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  127. Have the kid laminated, and you can just stick 'em in the sink and rinse them off with the sprayer!

    God I'm so glad I'm not a father. ;)

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  128. Mercury in the vaccines = big tsimmis
    Mercury in the water = no big deal

    (Remember when Bush raised the allowable mercury level and the wingnuts told us we were being whiny gullible idiots by complaining about it?)

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  129. We actually got a couple boxes of that from the food pantry a couple months ago and I, of course, was all like "WTF now?".

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  130. Ernst's response to the SOTU Address looked like a Saturday Night Live sketch

    I'm sure the SNL writers appreciate Jodi for doing their work for them this week.

    And for the next two years, as well.

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  131. Funny, I thought it was obvious. I'm actually in Yonkers, but I can see the Bronx from my house. Aren't you in Cambridge, MA?

    If you are in New York, I'd love to hang out with you.

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  132. Ellis_Weiner2:18 PM

    Why not? It brings in the dough and leaves you rolling (!) in bread.

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  133. I always wondered about that song... Clementine wore "herring-boxes without top-ses."


    I like to eat sardines myself: herring, brisling, kippers and such. The tins they come in aren't very large. Either Clementine had VERY tiny feet or her family managed to buy herring in bulk.

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  134. I think she's suggesting a general Northeastern US alicurati metope. In which case, count me in. In fact, since Aimai is in metro Boston-ish, and BBBB is in metro NYC-ish, why not hold the metope in New Haven? I'm buyin'!**


    **Not intended to be a factual statement.

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  135. She just sounded so insincere.


    I'm reminded of that old piece of wisdom: "Sincerity is the key to life. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."

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  136. Marion in Savannah2:25 PM

    She was shuffling around in those bread bags because [sob] her one decent pair of shoes might get wet while St. Ronald of Reagan was making the world perfect for us all.

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  137. I didn’t, however, think it was particularly well-written.

    Yeah, Jonah, you're obviously the one we should be counting on to evaluate that, you Cheeto-felching asshat.

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  138. DN Nation2:32 PM

    Once again, the Pantload would like everyone to know that he was bored by something. Y'all heard that, right? Jonah Cheez Doodles was bored! He was really bored! Really bored and it was dumb and his butt itches. It was stupid, too! Can't you tell how triumphantly bored J-Dawg Loadpants was? Bored! So bored!

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  139. I remember that!


    Weird how inconsistent these things are.

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  140. Well, supposedly, the waitress at the Dubuque Holiday Inn said "We have Lipton's." Which could have meant, "Sorry, we only have the default Lipton's black tea," or "We have Lipton's, is that all right?" Because Lipton's does, in fact, make green tea. Not that you'd expect Candy Crowley to know that. *Sniff*


    Oh, and Candy? If you're going to ding John Kerry for being too elitist for the doughty yeomen of Iowa, maybe you shouldn't set your anecdote in a county that he carried by fourteen points.

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  141. DN Nation2:34 PM

    We would gain as a nation if someone would drop the pretense that Lil' Fournier is worth debating and just straight up giving him a noogie until he STFUs.

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  142. Fucking Jonah- "I found tonight's speech a chore." Well, dumbass, your job is to comment on political matters. Of course it was a chore, that's what work is, you gormless gasbag.

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  143. M. Krebs2:36 PM

    I just sorry and/or glad that George Carlin isn't around to see it.

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  144. DN Nation2:37 PM

    Vol. 278, No. 5 of "I'm not interested in _________, I don't want to bother commenting on ______________, ____________ was really lame, I'm on deadline, I have to walk my dog, I've been busy with a column, farty farty fart fart." I'll take fire-breathing, snake-handling wingnut whackadoos every day of the week instead of this level of aggressive mommy-money laziness. Lift a friggin finger for once, Jonah.

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  145. Feh. In my day (spits entire unopened can of Skoal out of the side of his mouth), it were the grain what came in bags. Preground flour was pure looxury, never mind premade bread.

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  146. billcinsd2:45 PM

    The role of the media is (or should be) to keep the citizens informed on
    the doings of their government, on the effects of policies and
    programs, and on the state of the country in general. The media today
    fulfills none of those functions.


    I would say the media does this but that the way they do objectivity can be played such that the functions are not done accurately/correctly. I mean an article blaming some companies changing their insurance benefits (really to increase their profits) and blaming this on Obamacare does inform the citizenry on the doings of the government and the effects of policies and programs but not in an accurate manner. One ragged cheer for manufactured consent

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  147. J Neo Marvin2:51 PM

    Don't forget the avalanche of anti-abortion bills.

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  148. Megalon2:52 PM

    He would lift a finger, but he has this deadline, you see...

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  149. Howlin Wolfe2:54 PM

    Pre-Magna Carta! We're all medieval Americans now!

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  150. catclub2:55 PM

    News media are actually reporting that the economy is better. In other words, a crisis for them.

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  151. billcinsd2:59 PM

    While I grew up in South Dakota not Iowa, I can remember a few times when most everyone wore bread bags on their feet -- when we had an unexpected heavy rain during school so nobody had their galoshes

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  152. How dare he respond to incivility with incivility!

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  153. Bizarro Mike3:00 PM

    I like this second version better. Maybe its the repetition.

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  154. billcinsd3:00 PM

    I think the word you are looking for is condoms

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  155. Oh, fine, wait until I move to California to arrange a Northeast meetup.

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  156. Ellis_Weiner3:01 PM

    Maybe. Michael Tomasky writes this morning that, not only are the numbers better, but people are feeling better than they used to, and so are more available to be sold such things as free community college. (Not that Congress will allow it.) I hope he's right but will believe it when I see it.

    Then again, I still wonder what's the matter with Kansas (literally and figuratively), and why non-rich people vote GOP assholes into any office whatsoever.

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  157. billcinsd3:02 PM

    was he also watching Match Game '73?

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  158. Well, okay, I'll walk it back a little bit, since that would be legit. But five will get you ten that's not what Ernst was referring to.


    Wait, does that mean SD schools kept lots of bread bags on hand for just such an emergency? Did students stock them in their lockers as backup? This raises more questions than it answers!

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  159. redoubtagain3:12 PM

    Those kind exactly. (Don't use those much down south, though.)

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  160. Well, we'd much rather include you, but if you insist.


    Or we could redefine it as Northeastern Western Hemisphere meetup. But then we'd be snubbing the New Zealand contingent.

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  161. billcinsd3:18 PM

    Lot's of Wonder bread sandwiches at lunch, so plenty of bread bags around and really on for Kindergaren/First Grade.

    And it is not at all what Ernst was talking about. Even the kids with one pair of shoes would have had some sort of sneaker that was mainly canvas and wouldn't be hurt by water. She is describing wearing her church shoes to school, but almost no one dressed up sufficiently for school for their Sunday School clothes to be appropriate (except for picture day)

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  162. Steve-O3:19 PM

    The comments on the Pantload's oeuvre are a delight. A lot of "I didn't watch nyuk nyuk" sprinkled with nuggets like:

    "Barry's socialist claptrap"
    "Marxism today! Marxism tomorrow! Marxism forever!"
    "Totalitarian Leftist statists, forever mastering the stage craft of leadership"
    "He was in full bully mode"
    "He must be impeached."



    Quite the audience you have there, Jonah.

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  163. Give us this day our daily wheat flour, water, high fructose corn syrup or sugar, yeast, soybean oil, barley malt, wheat gluten, salt, calcium carbonate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, vinegar, mono- and difycerides, calcium sulfate, monocalcium phosphate, ammonium chloride, ammonium sulfate, enzymes, yeast extract, wheat starch, calcium dioxide, ferrous sulfate,folic acid, soy lecithin, azodicarbonamide, soy flour, whey, cacium propionate, datem, and sorbic acid.

    Amen.

    (Man, that Wonder Bread contains a lot of ingredients!)

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  164. Helmut Monotreme3:41 PM

    Not if that opposing army was the Sacred Band of Thebes!

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  165. dstatton3:41 PM

    Wasn't that a George Harrison song?


    (yes, I do know that it's I, me, mine)

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  166. randomworker3:45 PM

    Haven't waded through that cesspool in a while. Here's another good one.

    I didn't watch because as Mark Levin said, "it was like plotical water boarding".
    It's got everything - Mark Levin...plotical (?)...and waterboarding!

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  167. glennisw3:51 PM

    She sure as heck didn't wear bread-bags over those camo pumps, did she?
    And breadbags on shoes? She was born in 1970. So her folks couldn't afford a second pair of shoes for her to go to school in likely due to Reagan-era trickle-down economics.

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  168. DN Nation3:54 PM

    1) Mark Levin didn't "say" anything. He "shrieked" it. He "squealed" it.


    2) I thought waterboarding wasn't anything to concern ourselves with. Are you telling me that wingnuts aren't consistent in their derp?

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  169. Yes, it's quite the ...



    [PUTS ON SUNGLASSES]


    ... curiosity.

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  170. Steve-O3:58 PM

    Plotical? Plotical.

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  171. Steve-O3:58 PM

    Say it ain't so!

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  172. DocAmazing4:04 PM

    I cried because I had no shoes, and then I met a wingnut who had no breadbags.

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  173. ChrisV824:24 PM

    "I find all State of the Unions to be tedious"

    Yeah, we know he'd rather be watching Family Guy.

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  174. Bitter Scribe4:28 PM

    Oh, OK. When the Republishits applaud the end of his career, it's just applause, and when he answers back, he's taunting. Got it.

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  175. Boy! The crust of some people! Hmmph!

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  176. BigHank534:34 PM

    I am just old enough to remember salted dried cod being sold in little wooden boxes with a sliding lid. They were unpainted spruce or pine or some other cheap softwood, about five inches by seven. I would be willing to bet cash money that the song references something similar.

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  177. To march on a road of Boehners?

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  178. I think it's because the lighting is a bit different.

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  179. BigHank534:39 PM

    So's your hypothetical vacuum-sealed child.

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  180. Trouble is, conservatives can't distinguish insincerity. Just like they can't detect sarcasm or satire very well.

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  181. Herring come in a wide variety of sizes. The smoked ones at my supermarket run about 10 inches or a foot in length.

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  182. BigHank534:43 PM

    You knead to quit all this loafing around.

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  183. M. Krebs4:45 PM

    Quick: Give me three names for a bag made of burlap.

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  184. DN Nation4:47 PM

    I love Mark Levin pictures when he looks so, so proud that he dressed himself like a big boy that day.

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  185. BigHank534:47 PM

    ...the first time we heard this stuff it had at least superficial
    plausibility because the Obama presidency hadn’t happened yet. Five,
    six, ten years later, it’s all pretty sad.


    Six, Jonah. The answer is six. 2015 minus 2009 is six. Or--since we just had the midterm election--we could add up the Presidential terms. They are four years long, Jonah. President Obama has served all of one term and half of another. Four plus two is six, Jonah.

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  186. I'd go for that--I'm in Vermont.

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  187. I guess that WOULD make a decent shoe size.

    Still, Clementine definitely has Joni Ernst beat on the poor girl's foot wear story.

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  188. Steve-O5:02 PM

    Funny. I always thought it was the look of an infant who just satisfyingly filled his diaper.

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  189. I Googled around for a picture of this, and there are several. I didn't know there were such things, so I guess I learned something today.

    Looks pretty uncomfortable for footwear, though. Poor Clementine!

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  190. New haven, ehat do you do there? But yes i was suggesting some kind of general meet up. Pref. with roy and kia too, of course.

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  191. 1) phyllis schlafley.

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  192. " i kissed a girl in clusium..."

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  193. glennisw5:16 PM

    We just used our NYT's bags (the blue ones!) as dog-poop pickeruppers.

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  194. doctor of coming together across the aisle specializing in joyous tones, ronald fournier (pronounced four-nu-wah)

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  195. He and mcmegan both believe that a pose of wirld weary indifference to the topic under discussion--if its democrats that is--is a sign of superiority. They both come accross like hick lackeys who model themselves on the behavior of the snottiest of their masters. You know " oh! No one goes to antibes anymore... Its too crowded."

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  196. World-weary indifference as a cover for globe-girdling ignorance.

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