Tuesday, July 08, 2014

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

and what is it about again? Oh yeah, Hobby Lobby. I know, no one remembers. Special thanks to Nick for being my cat's-paw as the Voice publishing tool's still verkakte.

Anyway this late edition includes a particularly snide bit of Ross Douthat; if you haven't had enough of him after that, you can go to today's Times and see him take thousands of words to explain that he agrees with Erik Erickson. Anyone got a Thomas Aquinas facepalm gif?

142 comments:

  1. That "Chunky Reese Witherspoon" incident scarred Ross for life.

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  2. XeckyGilchrist5:03 PM

    Amanda Marcotte had a little parade of those displayed at her place. They're pretty horrid.

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  3. Her Patheos colleague John Mark Reynolds professed to believe the decision meant "long-term traditional religious ideas about human sexuality will prevail in America"

    It also suggests that long-term traditional economic ideas about workers' rights will prevail in America, and that should scare the shit out of everybody.

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  4. "Its funny how liberals scream for everyone's rights but gods"

    Why would an omnipotent deity need rights?

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  5. Helmut Monotreme5:14 PM

    It doesn't scare the shit out of the temporarily disadvantaged millionaires that are the rank and file of the Republican base. Why at any moment they may have to break a strike at the giant factory or mine they're going to own any day now.

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  6. Derelict5:14 PM

    A girl of the same age today would have fewer breaks on the power of instinct, knowing that contraception might well prevent a pregnancy -- and that if one resulted, she could abort it." Also, if she had the kid, "a large array of government programs would provide for her and the child..." Statism makes sluts! Thank God for Alito and the boys: "We would have faced grim times indeed the court had ruled otherwise."

    I guess putting the BRAKES on might slow down the power of instinct, but you still have that broken metaphor going on there. Better get that into an editor before it really starts clanking.

    Meanwhile, one can only wonder what "grim times" we might have faced. Would they be anything like the grim times of, say, last year when Hobby Lobby happily paid for insurance that provided contraceptive benefits?

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  7. Derelict5:17 PM

    Gimme that ol' time religion! Like, say, the Puritans. Who practiced "bundling" adolescent boys and girls together. Just so they could "get to know one another."

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  8. I thought the same thing. But you'll notice the word "gods" is neither capitalized nor possessive. So I'm guessing this is actually a Freudian slip referring to wingnut gods (plural) of war and pestilence petulance who demand the tears of liberals as sacrifice.

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  9. J Neo Marvin5:18 PM

    He can't drive his starship without them.

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  10. Because HE will get depressed if HE doesn't get his fair share of wingnut welfare, silly!!!

    As any fule know.
    ~

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  11. Derelict5:19 PM

    Since they left off the apostrophe, it's not one omnipotent deity. We have to assume it's a regular pantheon, which means no one god has it all. So, they need some rights or else Zuess will be raining golden showers everywhere.

    Yep: Gimme that Ol' Time Religion!

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  12. Scott P.5:23 PM

    Good thing only girls have instincts. Boys, on the other hand have ... something?

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  13. XeckyGilchrist5:26 PM

    What DOES God want with a starship?

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  14. Derelict5:30 PM

    Boys, on the other hand, have their other hand.

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  15. Derelict5:32 PM

    In the end, it's all about ending "consequence-free sex" for women. That's the beginning, middle, end, and entirety of all this rightwing exulting.

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  16. But what would chunky Reese Witherspoon think?

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  17. XeckyGilchrist5:45 PM

    He was scarred before she ever showed up, if her saying that she was on the pill was what made him lose his hardon.

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  18. TGuerrant5:45 PM

    Worth the wait, R.E.

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  19. tigrismus5:51 PM

    OK, this god sounds WAY more interesting than the others I've heard about.

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  20. LittlePig5:52 PM

    Need your own starship? Come see the Laughing Vulcan today!

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  21. tigrismus5:54 PM

    And with contraception and abortion available on demand, we'll end up with far fewer demigods, and then where will mythology be?

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  22. LittlePig5:54 PM

    Sorry, didn't read this one before replying to J Neo Marvin.

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  23. Derelict5:59 PM

    "I can't believe I ever wanted to sleep with that dingus. Soooooooooooooo glad he couldn't keep it up."

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  24. montag26:00 PM

    Gawd, I hope Moral Hazard bites Doubthat on the ankle as he heads for his favorite chair at the Young Fogeys Club.

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  25. LittlePig6:01 PM

    People of the land, the common clay of the New West.

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  26. LittlePig6:01 PM

    I hope he aims about three feet higher, myself.

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  27. LittlePig6:04 PM

    "Dr. Zuess, Mr. Peabody?"

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  28. sigyn6:14 PM

    I really really hope that all of the women in their lives are taking them up on that.

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  29. mgmonklewis6:27 PM

    Douthat's PompousSpeak™ makes me want to reach back through time and smack every single person responsible for leading him to believe that that puffed-up twaddle is good prose.*

    *I'm sure there are plenty of other good reasons to want to smack those who formed the smuglet we now know as Ross Cardinal Douthat, but I'll stick to prosody for now.

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  30. mgmonklewis6:28 PM

    Indeed. It's almost as if right-wingers are operating under a particularly flawed theology.

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  31. smut clyde6:31 PM

    Anyone got a Thomas Aquinas facepalm gif?

    http://sacred-texts.com/chr/aquinas/aquinas.jpg

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  32. gocart mozart6:38 PM

    If Jason Scott Jones and John Zmirakof of the Daily Caller were to ever get laid with a real live woman they would suddenly realize that contraception insurance coverage can be a benefit to them also.

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  33. gocart mozart6:42 PM

    I think Pierce was pointing out the hypocrisy of corporations having religious rights of their owners and owners of corporations not being responsible for poisoning the water supply.

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  34. mgmonklewis6:42 PM

    Also, it's incomprehensible that the Times actually pays Douthat for his tendentious ramblings. For cripes' sake, they could pay any single commenter here — or maybe rotate through all of us on a regular basis — and get a better column for a tenth the cost. We could even paste on a little Harvard-approved goatee if it would lend us the gravitas that Cardinal Douthat brings to the Times.

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  35. mgmonklewis6:44 PM

    Right. They're legal fictions that distance the owner from liability, but mysteriously that distance falls away when the owners want to exercise political power. In other words, they're having it both ways.

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  36. My parents were angry that a tiny group of unelected judges were imposing this decision on The People.


    Judges are just another kind of politician.

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  37. montag27:08 PM

    Oh, I expect that Doubthat's is the only penis pump that plays audio of Rush Limbaugh.

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  38. montag27:12 PM

    Or, much more likely, they're fucking morons and can't spell or punctuate.

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  39. smut clyde7:12 PM

    What with Zeus' various paraphilias -- the golden showers and the bestiality -- I am surprised that he ever successfully inseminated anyone.

    The Greek legend where Zeus transforms himself into a Cleveland steamer is omitted from most of the texts.

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  40. The only hobby shop I frequent is the local liquor store.

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  41. LittlePig7:24 PM

    Yep. One in which the Commandents regarding idolatry (Mammon), lying, stealing, and coveting are optional.

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  42. LittlePig7:26 PM

    Sadly, as a professional, I cannot claim that status.

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  43. JennOfArk7:32 PM

    They have been already. It's one of the reasons why they hate women so much.

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  44. JennOfArk7:36 PM

    Also the one where, as a swan, he performs the Dirty Sanchez on Leda.

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  45. cleter7:36 PM

    He needs it to fight Lawrence Luckinbill to the death, obviously.

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  46. JennOfArk7:37 PM

    We'll have to ask Alito if that's an acceptable form of birth control.

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  47. though Reynolds did mention "general prosperity for the traditionalists" as a factor, so maybe God will slip them some walking-around money to help the cause along.


    Is he, by chance, suggesting coconuts migrate? (obligatory python reference)


    I mean, is he suggesting that this ruling, and future rulings like it, will give conservatives an evolutionary advantage because A) they breed like rabbits, and B) xtian employers can discriminate on the basis of religion at will now, leading to Xtian-only workplaces, and leaving the infidels, pagans, and sundry others to slowly die out for lack of gainful employment and the use of condoms?


    What kind of eugenic madness is this?

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  48. Oh yes. Because a ruling that reduces discrimination against a group of people is exactly the same as the one that increases discrimination, only the words are a little bit different.



    And in that vein I am selling big sacks of manure that are exactly the same as big sacks of candy. Yum. Yum.

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  49. Derelict8:51 PM

    It's a minor translation issue. The Republican Bible says, "Thou Shalt Not Admit Adultery."

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  50. Jason Scott Jones and John Zmirak at the Daily Caller also felt a turn in the tide. While "a teenage girl in 1848 whose boyfriend wanted to sleep with her would have had many reasons to refuse...

    Ah yes, the golden age of the 191840s, when girls said no if they knew what was good for them. But boys were still boys of course, always trying to stick it in their sweetie without a care for the consequences, which you can't blame them for unless you're a bleeding heart liberal queermonaut.

    Oh for the days when fear of pregnancy during a time when even the richest person received medical care modern man wouldn't accept for a dog and pregnant women received care we wouldn't accept for a dog that had eaten our cat, social exile and extreme privation kept the little cock teases in line!

    Perhaps this is the wrong attitude, but watching these schmucks parade their ids is fascinating in a ripe deer carcass discovered while hiking sort of way.

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  51. Derelict8:55 PM

    No face-palm, but he's definitely the "WTF did I just read?" look going on.

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  52. Derelict8:59 PM

    I can't tell if this comment is trolling or just uninformed. I'll go for the latter and point out that the Hobby Lobby owners didn't petition based on the idea their company would be morally cupable--they petitioned based on the idea that they wanted to impose their very own morality on their employees. That's a very different thing, and it's not just a matter of semantics.

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  53. Derelict9:08 PM

    A woman with power over her own body is absolutely terrifying to a lot of men--especially conservatives and religious nutcases.

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  54. Derelict9:10 PM

    Ah! A workplace filled with nothing but devout xtians! I hope it's an engineering firm, and all the employees are forced to use the Biblical value of Pi. Exactly 3.0.

    Good luck with those wheels!

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  55. coozledad9:37 PM

    They totally pulled it out of The Golden Ass.

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  56. You do from time to time see various dim bulbs and dull blades gloating because conservatives are shooting out babies left and right while liberals are having gay abortions.

    Except, that bad ol' reality keeps intruding. the average household dropped to 3.5 kids in 1900 and the imagined armies of Duggar Spawn (who will of course vote just like their parents) have yet to materialize.

    It is also weird because in the U.S., there are a lot of stereotypes about really large families and none of them are very nice.

    But that wouldn't necessarily stop some rw wanker from claiming massive baby-making capacity as a plus for his side.

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  57. whetstone9:47 PM

    +1 for "smuglet," which is absolutely perfect.

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  58. XeckyGilchrist9:50 PM

    No worries, that line needs as many people as possible to make fun of it forever.

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  59. XeckyGilchrist9:53 PM

    "Seriously?"

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  60. Psst! Mr. Hazell! The discussion of "on the other hand" wanking is upthread.

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  61. I want to know what he does with all those foreskins?

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  62. cleter9:57 PM

    Why does he look like Brother Theodore during a guest appearance on the old Letterman show?

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  63. Um--the corporations have caused massive harm to come to the people of West Virginia. While Pierce was speaking hyperbolically and metaphorically he, and everyone else, would be happy if the corporate veil were kept in place and the corporation served time in prison for the crime of poisoning the water of actual people. If a single person had done so you can bet they would serve time. We are all objecting to the extra rights that are given to corporations to pollute or kill without any civil or criminal liability.


    You are really confused if you think this is either hypocritical or incorrect argument on the part of the left.

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  64. BigHank5310:02 PM

    This trick really only works for one generation. Whatever original gooberite Christian triumphalist starts the family always has enough income so that he can--barely--support the baby factory and the eight to twelve munchkins. Unfortunately the munchkins are all homeschooled in some theologically dubious biblical curriculum so they usually have the earning power of guinea pigs...and there's that vehicle of breeding superiority upside down in the ditch. On fire.

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  65. Pope Zebbidie XIII10:04 PM

    You've heard of spaghetti-Os?

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  66. BigHank5310:05 PM

    "Lord, I knew I would face many trials and my faith would be sorely tested, but Jesus H. Fucking Christ can you get these shitbirds to give it a rest?"

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  67. Pope Zebbidie XIII10:05 PM

    I thought it was "Thou Shalt Not Have Sex With Adults"

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  68. Derelict10:10 PM

    I thought he used them for fried calamari appetizers.

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  69. Derelict10:11 PM

    Well, that is one of the crappiest myths.

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  70. BigHank5310:15 PM

    It's not like one has to read a great deal of history to realize that hairless monkeys fuck with the same abandon that the hairy ones do. How did Ben Franklin end up with an illegitimate child? Osmosis? How did Jefferson's DNA end up in the Hemings family tree? Why did Mary Shelley push so hard for women's rights? It's only in the past sixty-seventy years that we've gotten used to people not dying like flies from snakebite and infected teeth and diphtheria and smallpox and workplace injuries and childbirth and the flu. Of course people fooled around. Christ, I bet those dimwits over at the Daily Caller think oral sex was invented in 1962.

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  71. Ah but you see, in The Good Olde Dayez (a nebulous time period that never actually exsisted) men were allowed to fuck with abandon because they are men and have Urges that can't be restrained. Women who fucked with anything but the greatest reluctance, with anyone save a spouse and for any reason other than to produce heirs/farmhands were slutty sluts fit only for the poor house or the brothel.

    They've decided the advent of contraceptives that are reliable and can be used without a man's knowledge make it impossible for right-thinking Americans to identify the bad girls and loose women so that they can be shamed/exploited/punished.

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  72. AGoodQuestion11:01 PM

    Wow. While her mother makes her fame and fortune off statements that are some mix of nonsensical and offensive, Bristol Palin just avoids content altogether. Her "Hobby Lobby Wuvvy Duvvy" post reads like she's trying to put a Katy Perry single at the top of the most-requested chart. I'd guess that she doesn't want to remind her readers that she had a way softer landing as an unwed mother than any of the sluts they look down on, but that would require self-awareness on her part and coherent standards on everyone else's.

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  73. ... impossible for right-thinking Americans to identify the bad girls and loose women so that they can be shamed/exploited/punished.


    Hence their tendency to use the "slut" label by default. It's the only way to be sure.

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  74. AGoodQuestion11:05 PM

    "Its funny how liberals scream for everyone's rights but gods,"
    This true believer will have to answer to the Man Upstairs for not capitalizing His name, natch. (Not positive on how much emphasis he places on apostrophes.)

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  75. billcinsd11:26 PM

    no that's pork anuses

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  76. AGoodQuestion11:27 PM

    Of course fucking with abandon isn't really something you can do alone. (Believe me, I've tried.) For men to attain sexual satisfaction - with the obvious exceptions - they need women who can do their sexual thing without fear.


    Which is something that should be pointed out more often. There are obviously men who want to control women all the way down the line. But there are also many whose interests will be better met if women have access to contraception. More of them should vote accordingly.

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  77. AGoodQuestion11:31 PM

    Wait, it's an Olympic event now?

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  78. mgmonklewis11:39 PM

    It's really aggravating to see newspapers set money on fire paying for crap columnists, then whine that their business model isn't working. I'm no hot-shot newspaper publisher, but I think I can spot an easy cost savings measure that would also improve quality.

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  79. freq flag11:40 PM

    Ha-ha!

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  80. PersonaAuGratin11:40 PM

    Under PolkCare, women paid for their own bundling boards and not expect their employer at the mill to pay.

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  81. freq flag11:45 PM

    You gonna finish those?
    (asking for a friend)

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  82. AGoodQuestion11:45 PM

    The Supreme Court has final say, at least theoretically, on every federal and state law. No one can reverse them. They serve for life and can't be fired, only impeached. Which will never happen because no justices are dumb enough to get caught committing crimes. I have no problem saying that that's too much unchecked power for one branch of the government to have.


    The "What about gay marriage?" objection doesn't convince me. I'm not saying the Supreme Court shouldn't exist, and it absolutely has made the right call recently on same sex marriage. But those decisions, unlike the Hobby Lobby case, aren't legal shit-and-anchovy pizzas the justices serve just because they can.

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  83. freq flag11:47 PM

    One Size Fits All.

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  84. Gromet12:04 AM

    It's a really good question, why is columnship a lifetime appointment? You take a guy like Friedman, who I used to like -- I stopped reading him in 2003, when it seemed every prediction he made in his chosen areas of expertise tanked like the Titanic. I can't imagine he has loyal readers who'd cancel their subscriptions if he got replaced, and if I made the wrong call at my job half as often, I never woulda made it out of 2003. But 2014 he's still there. It's mystifying.

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  85. montag212:10 AM

    Erm, they do get caught committing crimes (recall, for example, ol' Brother Clarence's perjury on his net worth disclosure forms, or Scalia's little hunting trips with parties with business before the court just days before a hearing, or the rather clear collusion of right-wing justices with right-wing billionaires, etc.). They just don't admit those crimes, and the Congress, in its wisdom, chooses to accept their word that their transgressions were just lapses in memory or good judgment.

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  86. montag212:16 AM

    Aw, hell, he's globalization's cheerleader (every tsunami of corruption needs at least one), and he's a walking billboard for brand names--he's never yet passed up an opportunity to mention one. I suspect that the Times' advertising department is paying a hefty part of his salary.

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  87. Gromet12:18 AM

    We better run an empirical study, find out if the female employees of Hobby Lobby are less slutty now. Obviously they were appallingly slutty before and that's why the owner went to court, right? And this is a great ruling because it fixes that? I mean, if they weren't slutty, why would he need to lawyer up so hard to keep his hands clean of it? I'm sure his lady workers are pretty happy he took steps to change their behavior or at least make it clear to God and Country that he wants noooothing to do with their skank asses. It's just a great place to work, obviously, and now that most employers can effectively signal "I think you are a skank" to female employees, the whole country is a lot more civil.

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  88. montag212:30 AM

    I'm sure that's the excuse that the Tribune Company gave when they pitched out Bob Scheer at the L.A. Times and installed Der Pantload.

    They really are hoping the public won't notice.

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  89. montag212:36 AM

    It's a damned good thing that CAD draws circles for him, then.

    And that the state, in its majesty, pays the unbelievers and believers alike.

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  90. JennOfArk12:38 AM

    The Rumble in the Bunghole.

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  91. Duuur. Is it fire more reporters and increase the number of ads?

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  92. And there is exactly zero surprise in the fact that this is coming from the same dud who cries big salty tears of anger because a) The snooty hot bitches won't give him the time of day, don't they know men have NEEDS?? and b) The rotten, no good, very bad state expects him to help pay for the upkeep of any children he fathers (or in MRAlish - is tricked into having).


    If these roach fucking shites were anything but a bunch of misogynist loserbots, they'd be out in the street demanding mandatory IUDs for anyone who is having a period and tattoos for same so women without safety switches can be identified and avoided.

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  93. Just like their views on capital punishment--better to damn a few innocents here and there than to let a single slut go unshamed.

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  94. Mike McCarthy7:00 AM

    I've noticed the same tendencies. My father-in-law was a cop in a 'brotherhood' with collective bargaining rights. He hates the gov't and unions. Go figure.

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  95. Derelict7:19 AM

    . . . and coherent standards on everyone else's.

    The standards are perfectly coherent. If you're a Republican (or the child of one)--and especially if you're a Republican who's a firm believer in family values, morals, and tradition with a whole-hearted devotion to Jesus--then it's all A-OKAY! Got your mistress pregnant? Got busted wearing diapers with prostitutes? Got arrested soliciting oral sex from the guy in the next bathroom stall? Got blackmailed for using meth with male prostitutes? Got a teenage daughter who's become knocked up? IOKIYAR!

    If you're a Democrat, well, you're already a shameful sinner who should be shunned. And if you transgress even a little, you'll be hounded from public life and your name will be a conservative punchline forever.

    See? Perfectly coherent!

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  96. Derelict7:22 AM

    One of my father's friends is a retired firefighter. After working for government his entire life and retiring with a fine and generous pension, he's decided that unions are evil and should be outlawed. And that government is terrible and most of its functions should be privatized.

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  97. FlipYrWhig8:28 AM

    "_I_ earned my perks, unlike you lazy bastards" is the credo and animating principle of conservatives everywhere.

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  98. mgmonklewis8:53 AM

    I suggested to the local newspaper that instead of paying for syndicated columnists (including Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, and Michelle Malkin), there must be some local cranks who could write just as well and would give them the material for free. Even if it was just an infomercial for the local Republican party (and frankly, how would that be very different?), at least the content would be free and of local interest.

    (To be fair, it's not that they only publish right-wing cranks, though those are obviously the most egregious. They also publish Robert Reich, who at least has something constructive to say. But I'm pretty sure they could find a liberal columnist locally to do that same job for free. Again, aspects of the newspaper business model elude me.)

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  99. mgmonklewis8:56 AM

    I stole the "Ross Cardinal Douthat" formulation from Charlie Pierce. I was operating under the axiom "good poets borrow; great poets steal." ;-)

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  100. Derelict8:57 AM

    It's only in the past sixty-seventy years that we've gotten used to people not dying like flies from snakebite and infected teeth and diphtheria and smallpox and workplace injuries and childbirth and the flu.

    Sadly, these are all things the Republican Party wants to bring back. Just check out the latest Texas GOP platform. They want to enable people to skip vaccines and still send their kids to school, remove all regulations so workplace injuries return to their former prominence, restrict women's access to healthcare (especially OB/GYN care) so we can get back to Third-World levels of maternal and infant mortality, and snake handling is just one more form of religious expression (as practiced by white men).

    Infected teeth won't be a problem after they get rid of fluoridation--most people won't have any teeth after age 12.

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  101. Helmut Monotreme9:12 AM

    I'm not sure that the quiverfull lifestyle is all that useful in creating an army of the faithful. How many of those kids leave evangelical christianity behind once they hit majority? They know raising an army of kids is hard expensive unrewarding work. Why would they do that to themselves unless they are every bit as devout as their parents or have no choice?

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  102. The more kids they have, the greater the chance that there will be one who's LGBT. Odds are that one or two of the Duggar kids are gay.

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  103. A sexually frustrated society is a polite society.

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  104. Wow, AC/DC. Corporate sluts!

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  105. You know how kids will loop construction paper rings together to make garlands?

    Also good for making fake flowers.

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  106. catclub10:00 AM

    Our local fishwrap has adopted this model. I am tempted to congratulate them for keeping crazy people out of trouble. And for letting me know who some of those crazy people are.

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  107. Halloween_Jack10:01 AM

    I actually feel sorry for Bristol, as she seems to demonstrate that, among her mom's many sins, "half-assed stage mom" may be one of the worst. Bristol stumbles between humiliating reality show gigs and even more embarrassing things such as her "teen pregnancy prevention spokesperson" position for Candie's, and her Patheos column. And I think that she's aware of this on some level, as we see in this piece, titled, I shit you not, "Occupy Lovitz":

    I frequently get comments below my blog posts which go something like this:

    Why do we care what you think? Aren’t you just some girl in Alaska?

    (Okay, so usually there’s more profanity in the comments I receive!)



    Here's hoping that that doctor's receptionist gig is still open.

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  108. Halloween_Jack10:05 AM

    When you think about it, the Texas GOP rejecting modern medicine just might work out in the long run.

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  109. Halloween_Jack10:09 AM

    I can just imagine the Duggar kids applying for jobs, and saying, when asked if they have anything that sets them apart from the other applicants, that they're a Duggar, and the interviewer sneering, "Like that's any real distinction."

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  110. Halloween_Jack10:10 AM

    That pic deserves to be a meme with a JHFC caption.

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  111. Halloween_Jack10:11 AM

    Legate? Surely he can't be above a gul in rank, although he really belongs in the Obsidian Order.

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  112. Halloween_Jack10:14 AM

    Make wallets out of 'em. You rub 'em and they turn into briefcases. Hey-yo!

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  113. Al Swearengen10:17 AM

    Poor God. Kind of like a checkbook, He just can't handle it.

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  114. Magatha10:21 AM

    That was my dad, only from the less-swashbucklin' public sector job of teaching. He was not a Boomer, btw. I'm the Boomer. As I recall, he always expressed contempt for the teachers' union, insisting that as an Educator, he was a professional, not some grimy rank and file union guy. So in his case, I think he was contemptuous by way of his upbringing and political inclinations. But it was lip-service, because he benefited greatly from his union's efforts, and like your father's friend, retired with a fine and generous pension.

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  115. Magatha10:32 AM

    I used to know a woman who is now in her late 60s. She was the youngest of 12 children, and when she was in her 20s, her mom opened up to her about a lot of stuff. In addition to the 12 children who got safely born, this woman endured several miscarriages and at least two "kitchen table" abortions by a woman in the community who did such things.

    Also, I remember reading that in Colonial America, there was a period of time when it's estimated that as many as a third of new brides were already pregnant when they married. And in Edo Japan, where there was a strong ethic of sustainable, moderate existence, it was not at all uncommon to "send back" newborns who arrived after the first two children - i.e., infanticide.

    So now, more than ever before, we have safe, sane, compassionate ways of family planning, so of course somebody wants to nuke 'em from orbit.

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  116. He was rejected by the OO because of his lack of intelligence. Things are prett

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  117. witlesschum11:10 AM

    I wonder if it's personalized?

    "Friends, let me tell you why Obama is the uppitiest negro ever, c'mon Ross you can do it, think of the Regan Administration, it's because Bill Ayers created him in his workshop from a block of wood..."

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  118. Derelict11:22 AM

    Yeah, they'd like to undo that whole women's suffrage thing, too. And take the vote away from Blacks. And those who don't own land.

    Basically, they all want to live in the 1640s

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  119. Derelict11:25 AM

    Because family planning means women can have sex whenever they ant to. That's against the natural order--which is that women only have sex whenever their man wants to--provided that man is her husband. And even then, sex is something to be feared and avoided.

    I wonder how much of this stems of male fear of the female orgasm (or their inability to give their partner an orgasm).

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  120. Maybe he finally realized he'd spent his entire career worrying about shit that didn't matter. Oh, well: "Hey, I'm a saint!"

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  121. "Wahhabi Lobby": +72 virgins.

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  122. XeckyGilchrist11:51 AM

    Sexually frustrated AND armed, super-polite! Just ask Elliot Rodger.

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  123. BigHank5312:02 PM

    D'you think they'd take it the wrong way if we put up another border fence to protect Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and New Mexico?

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  124. apocalipstick12:37 PM

    He's actually a very good engineer; whiz at math and all that. The assumption that people cannot function in their careers because they believe something manifestly stupid in other areas is a fallacy.

    My experience with him does confirm one of my personal biases, however. I believe there is no one in the world so easy to fool as an engineer; if you can put the dumbest idea in the world in the form of an equation (assuming the idea has nothing to do with their area of expertise), they will believe it.

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  125. I want to sponsor this comment to open-mike night at The Improv. Break a leg! (And thanks, Obama, for the medical care!)

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  126. So, Robert Scheer, a reporter who made his bones in fucking Vietnam, works for me. And I fire him in order to hire Jonah Goldberg, who . . . his mother . . . I mean, you gotta be fucking shitting me.


    Such is journalism in today's America.

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  127. He looks constipated. Maybe we could work something up off of that.

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  128. ADHDJ3:02 PM

    This isn't even true if he's talking about 1848 BC. The ancient Egyptians and Chinese had birth control and abortion that far back.

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  129. Mooser8:25 PM

    "(or their inability to give their partner an orgasm)."

    I thought women had enough of their own. I never knew one who wanted me to give her one of mine.

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  130. Mooser8:29 PM

    Don't forget the corollary to that 'pill' thing. Since 'the pill' exists, any women who won't put out is a feminazi who disregards the rights of man.
    Yes, you will see both held at the same time.

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  131. Mooser8:32 PM

    It's funny, I don't know which scares them more, the power of a woman to say "no" or the power of a woman to say "yes".

    But one thing they're sure of, the women has to be the loser, either way.

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  132. Derelict8:35 PM

    I'm sorry to hear that. ;)

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  133. Mooser8:36 PM

    Yup. I've had it with them.

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  134. Mooser8:39 PM

    As Erasmus said : "Aquinas, I've got proof you're full of crap"
    St Thomas, of course, retorted "Yeah, what's your historical reference?" thinking that would shut him up.
    But Erasmus looked him right in the eye and said "Historical reference? You've always been full of crap!"

    You don't want to mess with Erasmus.

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  135. Mooser8:40 PM

    That came later, and the world hasn't been the same since.

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  136. Mooser8:46 PM

    People enjoy reading columns when they feel they and the commentator think in similar ways. Frightening, isn't it?

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  137. AGoodQuestion11:42 PM

    He'd bee in the Obsidian Order for six hours, tops, before Garak arranged an accident.

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  138. AGoodQuestion11:49 PM

    Good catch. I guess what it comes down to is that they have a sense of what they can get away with before Congress decides it's worthwhile to prosecute them.


    Damn, that's a hell of a lot different from what I said before.

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  139. redoubtagain12:12 AM

    (A metaphor of sorts. Just got back from a visit to Florida, where they are tearing down the old Miami Herald building--with the name still on it, covered in burlap.)

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  140. Snarll4:27 AM

    Justices (and federal judges) serve "during good behavior." There's no requirement that they have to commit a crime, or dance naked in the Reflecting Pool, to be impeached. Vincent Bugliosi thought the justices who voted for Bush v. Gore should have been impeched, and he was right.

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