Thursday, June 19, 2014

ESCAPE FROM LIBERTY ISLAND.

Remember Liberty Island, that workshop for explicitly rightwing artists we visited back in March? Have you wondered how it's doing? Wonder no more, they're crowdfunding. Here's how they pitch the content offerings:
They have compelling characters, cool settings, biting humor … and, we insist, they celebrate the value and dignity of the individual conscience over the supposed glory of the collective.
Wow, sounds great! Because I'm sure sick of reading all those celebrations of the collective in Granta.
Liberty Island is already in business as an online magazine, but we need to raise additional cash to fund our foray into book publishing.
Sure you do, comrade. While we wait for The Roy Cohn Nobody Knew: A Novel, here's a sample of what the website is offering -- a puffer on a musician:
"My first response to any musician is, 'I don't wanna hear about your politics. I don't care about your politics'," says Nathan Harden.

"The idea of conservative music doesn't sound appealing to me, or anyone," Harden adds, breaking into a laugh. "It sounds boring, right?
Interesting sentiment at a site that actually repurposes John Miller's classic "50 Conservative Rock Songs" on its front page -- and from a guy who writes for National Review. Further down...
Ballad of Dani Girl is a concept album of sorts... that traces the troubled path of the title character, through the very "liberated" American landscape that has now become the norm... 
"...It's sort of taking what we all know, as red-blooded males, that there's something alluring about a woman who...doesn't show everything in the first three seconds you meet her," [Harden] says. "It's modesty and restraint...the erotic charge of what a woman withholds from you."
You mean like The Kinks' "Lola"?
"...So the way that breaks down is this: there's a particular message coming out of the music industry, which is that sexual fulfillment comes from getting it on with as many complete strangers as you can this coming Friday night, doped up on amphetamines or whatever. But when you look at the lives young people are leading today, the sex is not that great..."
If you're bored with all the promiscuous sex you're having, kids, try the music of Nathan Harden. Or you can listen to a Tones on Tail cover while watching pictures of Andrew Breitbart. The revolution is here! Now it's time to pass the tip jar...

201 comments:

  1. BadExampleMan1:07 PM

    Nathan Hardon? Really?


    Yeah, I'm 12, but really, what else is there to do when confronted by this level of absurdity?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bethany Spencer1:07 PM

    watching pictures of Andrew Breitbart

    Thanks, but if I want to watch a fair-skinned rageaholic make funny faces I can just look in the mirror.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I assume they're crowdfunding only because there's no platform for individual-conscience-over-the-supposed-glory-of-the-collectivefunding.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bethany Spencer1:11 PM

    One day yer gonna see me on the news. I'll be all sweaty and bloodied and bruised. Running around in circles like a puppy on meth. And I'll be screaming "I DID IT ALL FOR THE GLORY OF THE COLLECTIVE!!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nothing about that southern fella singing race music on Ed Sullivan the other night?

    Hell in a handbasket, I say...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Derelict1:31 PM

    Liberty Island: Just another manifestation of the innate strength and inherent appeal that is modern conservatism. It's a political/life philosophy so attractive and so well constructed that it must exist in its own terrarium.

    And with your help, we can make Liberty Island even more insular! Your dollars can help us build a moat around our island, from which we'll send missives of freedom in book form. Or, at least, we hope the Kochs and Scaifes are still bulk-buying anything stamped "conservative" on the inside of the dust jacket.

    ReplyDelete
  7. dstatton1:31 PM

    "But when you look at the lives young people are leading today, the sex is not that great..."



    Sour grapes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Derelict1:34 PM

    This isn't the first time some conservative has pitched this. I have to wonder just how they know that the sex young people are having "is not that great." I'm older now and sex is definitely different--but it's just as great now as it was back in my teen years. So I have to assume that sex for today's youngsters is just as great as it was back then for me.

    Unless, of course, the author didn't have sex until he was in his 30s.

    ReplyDelete
  9. L Bob Rife1:36 PM

    Ballad of Dani Girl is a concept album of sorts... that traces the troubled path of the title character, through the very "liberated" American landscape that has now become the norm...

    Are they ignoring Morrissey because they can't figure out if he's gay or not?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tony Prost1:36 PM

    Well, it is true that masturbation is not all that great, but it does pass the time for a few minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  11. whetstone1:43 PM

    that traces the troubled path of the title character, through the very
    "liberated" American landscape that has now become the norm



    So it's a Theodore Dreiser concept album. Not sure I hear a single.

    ReplyDelete
  12. zencomix1:46 PM

    Freebird!

    ReplyDelete
  13. zencomix1:48 PM

    Ballad of Dani Girl is a concept album of sorts... that traces the troubled path of the title character,



    Sperm's in the gutter, love's in the sink!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, someone seems to have paid out $2500 for the top tier. Not saying that it's wingnut welfare at work, I just think that the people willing to pay hundreds of dollars for an evening with Rich Lowry probably comprise a tiny pool.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Bethany Spencer1:53 PM

    Do those people come from this pool? https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedAndrew/status/477950245075447809

    ReplyDelete
  16. Where's this supposed message, anyway, that I should be having as much sex as possible? I haven't been receiving it. I mean, when options for safe sex are ever increasing, and people become more sexually open (I'm not convinced this is really happening, but let's assume for a bit), surprise, surprise, it turns out some people want to have quite a lot of sex. A lot of people don't, too. Who really cares as long as everything is safe and consensual?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jaime Oria1:55 PM

    I'm thinking some sort of Bill Viola-meets-Die Antwoord video performance piece. Crowdfund Collective - Activate!

    ReplyDelete
  18. BigHank531:56 PM

    Second prize: two Skype calls with Dinesh.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Helmut Monotreme1:57 PM

    Isn't the point of Galt's gulch that they can withhold their productivity from the rest of us while they watch the world burn? And now they're upset because it's taking longer than they thought and they didn't bring enough sandwiches? Well, now that they've glutted themselves on Atlas Shrugged and don't find it all that applicable to their island paradise, I suggest they can learn everything they need to know about making on their own on their island from a little book called "Lord of the Flies"

    ReplyDelete
  20. Jaime Oria1:58 PM

    #DoNotWant!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Derelict1:58 PM

    Crowdfunding is not a collective endeavor. It just relies on the collective funding . . er . . .uh . . .It's different than collective because . . .uh, well . . .

    So, how 'bout them Yankees, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Bethany Spencer1:59 PM

    I am a lib who will fight for your slut pills
    I'll be the comrade you're dreaming of
    We'll live forever
    Knowing together
    That we did it all for the glory of the collective

    ReplyDelete
  23. Bethany Spencer1:59 PM

    *tear*

    ReplyDelete
  24. All right, let's take a look at that fundraising page.

    Conservative fiction is not fiction that promotes a partisan ideology, agenda, or electoral outcome.

    Can't imagine where anyone would get that idea, lads.

    Rather it is a set of values that underlie the work we aim to publish across multiple genres. These basic tenets include a fundamental belief in American values and exceptionalism, a willingness to take on liberal taboos and flout political correctness, and an understanding that individual liberty is the paramount human right.

    "You will have to present liberals as idiots. In a strictly non-partisan way, of course."

    Liberty Island's founders are conservatives but it is by no means a partisan enterprise. Nor do we apply a litmus test to members. Liberty Island's community is made up of self-described conservative, libertarian or independent writers and artists. Their views range widely from hardcore libertarian to religious conservative, and everything in between. Seek not here for any kind of ideological conformity. There are plenty of other sites for true believers.

    Damn it, you guys are going to wear out the Blues Brothers joke with this crap.

    Okay, let's look at some of those reward tiers:

    $5 - "Receive Liberty Island's ass-kicking first novel, Superego by Frank J. Fleming." Hells yeah it kicks ass! "With his first novel, Frank gets down and dirty with this SciFi tale about a genetically modified hitman. If you like gritty action tinged with complicated romance, you're gonna love Superego." (a.k.a. "No, I've never played any of the Hitman games. Why do you ask?")

    $8 - Good for a copy of The Big Bang: Volume One of the Lonesome George Chronicles by Roy 'Griff' Griffis. That would be a "political/military thriller set in an alternative present where Islamicists have managed to bring down the political and social structure of the U.S." Well, that only puts you in competition with 500 other Tom Clancy wannabees on KDP who've written the exact same novel.

    Hell with this small change crap, let's see the big money:

    $400 - "Join Liberty Island at Comic-ConHave drinks with the Liberty Island team and up to 15 like-minded comic fans at New York Comic-Con." Comic-Con! Maybe they can hang out with Steve Ditko and talk about how Alan Moore is a commie.

    $500 - "Dinner (After Launch Party) with Rich Lowry." Okay, I can't very well say that there's nobody who'd enjoy an evening with Rich Lowry, I'm just saying that 500 bucks seems a bit much. It seems more like something you'd throw in as a bonus with a tote bag.



    $2500 - At the top level, you get an evaluation session with the guy responsible for publishing The Bell Curve. Bravo.

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  25. gratuitous2:10 PM

    If this isn't some sort of Andy Kaufmann/Laurie Anderson performance comedy/art piece, the award for Most Clueless Human Beings Ever has been retired.

    ReplyDelete
  26. mgmonklewis2:11 PM

    Robert Herrick did the whole CrazySexyModesty thing better over 350 freaking years ago with "The Lily in a Crystal." A lot better.
    http://www.wwnorton.com/college/english/nael/noa/pdf/herrick_r.pdf

    ReplyDelete
  27. sharculese2:12 PM

    You can trust him. He watched over 300 hours of Barely Legal Nymphos XXXtreme to bring you that message.

    ReplyDelete
  28. mgmonklewis2:15 PM

    What in God's name would the white elephant gift be? Cholera?

    ReplyDelete
  29. LittlePig2:18 PM

    Shoot, I was hoping I was going to be first.

    "Hell yeah Nathan's got a Hardon living on Liberty Island"

    ReplyDelete
  30. gocart mozart2:19 PM

    "So the way that breaks down is this: there's a particular message coming
    out of the music industry, which is that sexual fulfillment comes from
    getting it on with as many complete strangers as you can this coming
    Friday night, doped up on amphetamines or whatever."

    Free markets can be a bitch sometimes amirite?

    ReplyDelete
  31. people become more sexually open (I'm not convinced this is really happening, but let's assume for a bit)


    Neither am I, and that's because I've seen enough generations-old erotica to know that people have been kinkos for a long, long time. Some day, I'll tell you how the Chinese invented nunsploitation 400 years before the development of the VCR.

    ReplyDelete
  32. dstatton2:21 PM

    If sex wasn't great, we'd become extinct. Conservatives obsessing over the sex lives of young people is not exactly new. I know about a dozen people in their twenties, and they all have healthy & happy relationships, whether married or not. But then my sample is small and skewed. No conservatives.

    ReplyDelete
  33. LittlePig2:22 PM

    You KNOW there has to be a USSR flim with just that story line.

    Vladimir Ilyich approved.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh, but these guys aren't all libertarians. Why, many of them are theocons! They have both types.

    ReplyDelete
  35. LittlePig2:23 PM

    The wise men don't what it feels...

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  36. Buffalo Rude2:28 PM

    "Harden found himself appalled that his long-awaited introduction to the Ivy League was during the hijinks of Sex Week, which offered porn stars as guest professors, and graphic demonstrations of sex toys and techniques."

    Is "Sex Week" a real thing or something Harden wishes was real so can imagine hating it?

    ReplyDelete
  37. LittlePig2:33 PM

    Think cow-pies. On steroids.

    I guess the white elephant's gift might be passable fertilizer...

    ReplyDelete
  38. Buffalo Rude2:33 PM

    I hope it's a shit moat.

    h/t Sadly, No!

    ReplyDelete
  39. "Ballad of Dani Girl is a concept album of sorts... that traces
    the troubled path of the title character, through the very "liberated"
    American landscape that has now become the norm... "

    Nothing says liberty like stealing someone else's work:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dani_California

    ReplyDelete
  40. Buffalo Rude2:35 PM

    I really hope it's a shit moat.

    h/t Sadly, No!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anti-progressive prog-rock is so punk.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Derelict2:40 PM

    But the conservative thinkers are most certainly thick as a brick.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Rugosa2:42 PM

    we can make Liberty Island even more insular

    Sort of like Biosphere 2? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biosphere_2

    ReplyDelete
  44. Buffalo Rude2:42 PM

    Conservatives care, damnit! Unfortunately that can't seem to understand how creepy their caring is to everyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  45. sharculese2:43 PM

    For everyone who doesn't feel like finding out what demandamerica.com is: theaters across this great nation are refusing to pick up D'Souza's new movie because nobody fucking cares, so he's resorting to the most powerful force in human history: signatories to an anonymous e-mail petition.


    You might be asking yourself, "has Heywood Jablowme signed the petition yet?" Well let me tell you, he has now.

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  46. dmsilev2:45 PM

    So prisons are giving their inmates access to Skype now instead of the venerable payphone?

    ReplyDelete
  47. sharculese2:45 PM

    Well, let's be clear here: nothing about this is gonna be prog. It's gonna span the gamut from turgid sub-Foo Fighters riffing to painfully earnest acoustic balladry.

    ReplyDelete
  48. But when you look at the lives young people are leading today, the sex is not that great

    I know I can't be the only one who has urge to call the cops on Mr. Harden.

    ReplyDelete
  49. You know, Harden's band has a video for each track off that album. That's a 42-minute short film highlighting his vision. So...anyone want to take bets on how many of these things I can sit through? I mean, they might not be so bad. Just because the article ignored the actual music in favor of focusing on Harden's "conservative musician" schtick doesn't necessarily mean the music's innately bad.


    Hey, I took Your Friend off the turntable for this. I'm hanging on to hope here.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Yeah, I know. Where's Rush when you need them?

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  51. Helmut Monotreme2:53 PM

    That's fine, "Lord of the Flies" is a short book, afterwards they can all read "The Handmaid's Tale"

    ReplyDelete
  52. Jaime Oria2:57 PM

    Some day, I'll tell you how the Chinese invented nunsploitation 400 years before the development of the VCR.

    Is this an ongoing series in your newsletter? Because if so, etc etc.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Bethany Spencer2:58 PM

    What about Hugh Jass? I've hear he's a big fan of rightwing propaganda films.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Daniel Ash's Guitar Pick2:58 PM

    Wha? Right-wing Tones on Tail Cover? I have no words (my brain has literally shut down.)

    ReplyDelete
  55. Jesus you have got to be kidding me.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Bethany Spencer2:59 PM

    Brevity may be the soul of wit, but this post may be too witty, even for this crowd.

    ReplyDelete
  57. sharculese3:01 PM

    Oh hey look they have videos: http://bandoflove.net/videos


    Spoiler alert: It's generic late 90s RAWK of the sort who's greatest ambition is to be on the soundtrack to a teen sex comedy. It's perfectly professional sounding, which makes sense considering Harden says he stocked the band with Nashville pros, but pretty fucking soulless.


    With the last one I tried paying attention to the lyrics and let's just say this is not going to end up in the pantheon of great story albums.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Jaime Oria3:01 PM

    He certainly looks the part -

    ReplyDelete
  59. It indicates speechlessness.

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  60. I know, right? How many lawsuits can one album generate? But I guess getting sued would give them a chance to whine about persecution by mean ol' liberals.

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  61. It is a thing. He wrote a book about it.

    http://gawker.com/5937418/complaining-about-the-sex-lives-of-yale-kids-considered-good-topic-for-book

    Apparently Liberty Seastead's celebration of the rights of the individual doesn't extend all the way down, as it were.

    ReplyDelete
  62. sharculese3:10 PM

    Wait so his last project was a direct ripoff of Ross Douthat's Privileged? I'm sensing a pattern here.

    ReplyDelete
  63. LittlePig3:12 PM

    Ah. We don't have that condition south of the Macie-Dixie. 'Preciate the translation.

    ReplyDelete
  64. LittlePig3:16 PM

    I forget the source, probably Dave Chappelle, he had a great riff on that subject

    "God, are you sure? That's more nerve cells than you put in the whole ass!"

    "I want this feeling so good they'll be calling my Name while they do it"

    ReplyDelete
  65. I'm sensing the naming gift was stapled to his college application.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Brian Schlosser3:19 PM

    "The sex we're not having is MUCH better than all the sex you ARE having!"

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  67. Those fucking videos, I only made it to the second one ("The Road," I believe it's the first one on that page) before I decided I had better things to do. Talk about soulless. I realize that his band isn't a major act, and independent artists have fewer options with videos, but that's no excuse for this.

    Let me put it this way. Watch the video for "The Road." Then, I invite you to watch my palette cleanser. It's a video by a local artist who's really taking off on the indie circuit right now. It's a very simple, day-in-the-life video, made with little more than the camera and the town. It's really so much better that I can't even put a number on it, and I could easily show you a dozen videos by local musicians that are the same way. I mean, how the hell do you make a song about travel and never leave the building? God, you guys suck.

    ReplyDelete
  68. JennOfArk3:21 PM

    Harry R. Sohl

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  69. LittlePig3:24 PM

    "When two or more are gathered,
    in basements cross this land,
    there he is, amidst of them,
    screaming loudly as he can,

    There is Breitbart.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Brian Schlosser3:24 PM

    "We're non-partisan! We range from the Right to the extremely far Right!"

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  71. I think you may have tapped into a deep vein of pathetic.

    Harden also writes for Huff Po and something called the College Fix (your daily dose of right-minded campus news).

    ReplyDelete
  72. LittlePig3:27 PM

    Country AND Western?

    ReplyDelete
  73. LookWhosInTheFreezer3:28 PM

    They have compelling characters, cool settings, biting humor … and, we insist, they celebrate the value and dignity of the individual conscience over the supposed glory of the collective.



    Man, these libertarians are obsessed with weed aren't they. I mean, the collective where I get my stuff has great selection, prices and friendly service but I'm not writing any songs about them any time soon.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Bethany Spencer3:31 PM

    Aaaugh! Shaaaaaaaaaake! c74gjqI.gif

    ReplyDelete
  75. L Bob Rife3:31 PM

    David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but...
    Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it.

    David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it.

    Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, literally mean it.

    David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but...

    Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists.

    David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear, anyway.

    Nigel Tufnel: We're anything but racists.

    ReplyDelete
  76. LittlePig3:32 PM

    Ah,Amy Alkon. I had forgotten.



    Intro: Paranoia...

    ReplyDelete
  77. JennOfArk3:33 PM

    "When you pinch off a big one,
    and send it splashing to the bowl,
    it is then that he is with you,
    that full-of-shit asshole,


    There is Breitbart."

    ReplyDelete
  78. Bethany Spencer3:35 PM

    Quit laughing at Mr. Harden. It's 1993 and that hairstyle is the height of fashion.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Derelict3:44 PM

    I would like to sign this comment to the three-record deal.

    ReplyDelete
  80. tigrismus3:46 PM

    If you're a masochist, there are ways to have more fun and fewer psychic scars.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Derelict3:47 PM

    I was going to make a joke about them being pictures taken in the last six months, but I think there's already too much hideousness packed into the notion of watching pictures of BreitFart under any condition.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Bethany Spencer3:48 PM

    Holy shit.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Derelict3:51 PM

    I think one of the big holes in their going Galt plan was the "withholding productivity" part. Nobody missed whatever it is they produce, so, other than the improved quality of life, nobody noticed the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Derelict3:53 PM

    That's no torch he's holding up!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Derelict4:00 PM

    Dinner with Rich Lowry?!?!?! Do I get to pick the place we eat at? 'Cause I know a nice little seafood joint that's fighting the good fight against overbearing government regulation: They only buy shellfish taken from areas closed due to pollution. I'll buy Rich as many plates of oysters as he wants.

    I'll have the steak, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  86. I dunno. I'd be afraid they'd be wanking to it.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Derelict4:06 PM

    Not to mention the dreaded Trial Lawyers.

    Geez, it's getting so a conservative can't blatantly plagiarize other people's work without getting called on it. Or publish libelous remarks about people without getting sued. Is there no end to these infringements on freedom!

    ReplyDelete
  88. Derelict4:09 PM

    That hairstyle wasn't the height of fashion back in '68, much less '93. I think he's making a statement in that picture. And I think that statement is something like "Constipation is very uncomfortable."

    ReplyDelete
  89. BigHank534:09 PM

    With many of them, there's a market if you videotape yourself, too. 42 minutes of you grinding your fingers into your earholes while sobbing "Please make it stop", well...not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Reminds me of the Seanbaby quote: "The makers might not have known this, but people can spot the difference between I'm-a-rocker long hair and I-play-too-much-Everquest long hair ."

    ReplyDelete
  91. tigrismus4:20 PM

    Also "No, I don't get out much. I burn easily."

    ReplyDelete
  92. Given his age it could well be he was conceived while his parents were listening to the latest Creed album.

    ReplyDelete
  93. It is pretty damn hilarious that the stick up their ass is so big that even in the midst of declaring they certainly aren't partisan they have to make it clear that they are.

    ReplyDelete
  94. coozledad4:32 PM

    It's modesty and restraint...the erotic charge of what a woman withholds from you."



    The erotic charge of separate checking accounts.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Derelict4:38 PM

    Oh, we know they care. It's just that they care about the wrong things. They care about whether a multi-national corporation might be expected to pay even a smidgen of taxes on its multi-billion-dollar profits (GE, EXXON, etc.). They care about whether women have even a little bit of control over their own bodies (anti-abortion, anti-birthcontrol, pro-rape, etc.).

    And perhaps most importantly, conservatives truly care about the poor. They care that the poor are not suffering enough. They care that a poor person might be eating when they don't deserve to--or eating better quality food than they deserve. They care that poor children might be getting too good an education. They care that poor workers might be getting wages that allow them to do anything more than survive.

    ReplyDelete
  96. coozledad4:42 PM

    This is my gaze of abstinence.

    ReplyDelete
  97. MIns.? You're wasting time!

    ReplyDelete
  98. No, because Morrissey can't.

    ReplyDelete
  99. The actual message the music industry sends is that writing & performing songs about "getting it on with as many complete strangers as you can this coming Friday night, doped up on amphetamines or whatever" makes money for the music industry. One of these days Liberty Island will figure that out & disappear.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Yes a tear because I now have that damn song earwormed into my brain.

    "I did it all for the glory of schmaltz!"

    ReplyDelete
  101. I don't think he is 25 yet. Which makes the Kids Today schtick even more hilarious, but since it is bound to appeal to a group of old farts who are desperate to believe they're relevant with the Youts, he is sure to be their darling for some time to come.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Why waste time with an entire novella?

    http://www.angryflower.com/348.html

    ReplyDelete
  103. I'd be more inclined to believe any of these mooks were creative, clever or original if just one of them could name one of their little projects w/o using "liberty," "freedom," "prosperity" or "family."

    ReplyDelete
  104. TGuerrant4:59 PM

    Matriculate me!

    ReplyDelete
  105. J Neo Marvin5:01 PM

    Oh Dani girl, the hacks, the hacks are wanking...

    ReplyDelete
  106. Minnesota dressed in fleece!
    There's austerity in Greece!
    Minnesota er ... don't eat cheese!
    She's my [mumble], I'm her [garble]

    ReplyDelete
  107. TGuerrant5:15 PM

    He has an unmistakable air of Elliot Rodger angst.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I really like that idea.


    You can say "Do you REALLY believe in no government regulation? Then let's see you put your Libertarian values where your mouth is..."

    ReplyDelete
  109. Jay B.5:35 PM

    They have compelling characters, cool settings, biting humor … and, we insist, they celebrate the value and dignity of the individual conscience over the supposed glory of the collective.


    Nothing says celebrating the value and dignity of the individual conscience than "we insist".

    ReplyDelete
  110. satch5:43 PM

    I only had to get through 150 hours of "Barely Legal Nymphos XXXtreme" before I realized it was better than "The Ballad of Dani Girl".

    ReplyDelete
  111. montag25:45 PM

    Heard faintly from the Island: "De plane, boss, de plane! Eet crash!"

    ReplyDelete
  112. Kordo5:47 PM

    I have a feeling that Amanda Hugginkis would support this proposal.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person5:47 PM

    they celebrate the value and dignity of the individual conscience self over the supposed glory of the collective anyone else.

    It's a fuckin' miracle they manage to band together well enough to have any kinds of groups at all. In the dictionary, under Libertarianism, it should merely say "see Solipsism"...

    ReplyDelete
  114. Be nice. How long do you think it took him to iron that hair?

    ReplyDelete
  115. tigrismus5:48 PM

    Lucky me, I still have the adjective Schoolhouse Rock in from yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  116. montag25:50 PM

    His next book: D'inesh D'oes D'anbury.

    ReplyDelete
  117. satch5:50 PM

    "...It's sort of taking what we all know, as red-blooded males, that
    there's something alluring about a woman who...doesn't show everything
    in the first three seconds you meet her," [Harden] says. "It's modesty
    and restraint...the erotic charge of what a woman withholds from you."




    So... for the Cons, it's like Zeno's Paradox applied to delayed gratification...

    ReplyDelete
  118. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person5:51 PM

    What would it sound like if a group of young Nashville touring pros got together with a singer and formed a rock band?


    What an original idea...

    ReplyDelete
  119. Jay B.5:52 PM

    "But when you look at the lives young people are leading today, the sex is not that great..."


    Well then fuck, things have changed since I've been a kid. Sex was fucking awesome. Maybe they are doing it wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  120. satch5:53 PM

    "CELEBRATE, damn you... celebrate as though your LIVES depended on it!

    ReplyDelete
  121. Because she must be withholding from you, right? She really wants you bad and will ultimately give it up.

    ReplyDelete
  122. StringOnAStick5:54 PM

    I never tire of this cartoon.

    ReplyDelete
  123. montag25:57 PM

    This definitely sounds like a Chunky Reese Witherspoon ploy. This kid wants Doubthat's job.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Helmut Monotreme5:58 PM

    Because whoever drops them off on the island will need time to get away from the dock. Once they are safely on the island sounding out the words, we can surround the lake with "Quarantine Keep Out" signs.
    ...and I just read that it's an online magazine, not a handy location they can go and the rest of us can ignore.

    Crap.

    ReplyDelete
  125. montag26:05 PM

    "... your daily dose of right-minded campus news...."


    Wow, does this kid ever sound like an American version of a toffee-nosed twit.

    ReplyDelete
  126. cleter6:06 PM

    Well, that just sounds awful.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Kordo6:09 PM

    "Their views range widely from hardcore libertarian to religious conservative, and everything in between."

    That's a damned narrow "between", doncha think? Bronze Age astrological fetishists to Early Industrial Age robber barons, come on in! The Neo-Feudalists probably get a table, but those Rockefeller Republicans can fuck right off...

    ReplyDelete
  128. Kordo6:13 PM

    *rimshot*

    ReplyDelete
  129. Nigel Tufnel6:14 PM

    We still haven't gotten over the fact that neither "Big Bottom" nor "Hell Hole" made it on to the list of 50 Conservative Rock Songs. I think the Tories used "Big Bottom" at campaign events for the 1987 election. Go Maggie!

    ReplyDelete
  130. L Bob Rife6:36 PM

    talk about tax cuts my girl's got 'em

    ReplyDelete
  131. bulletsarepeopletoo6:36 PM

    He looks like a long-haired Mr. Bean.

    ReplyDelete
  132. montag26:39 PM

    Jeez, they've barely started and it already smells of flopsweat. But, I'd almost fork over the five hundred bucks just to make small talk with Lowry over dinner: "Hey, Rich, have they shoved the splintery two-by-four up yer ass yet in that lawsuit?"


    "Hey, Rich, do starbursts come out of yer pants okay by washing or do you have to have `em dry-cleaned?"

    ReplyDelete
  133. montag26:43 PM

    Pretty narrow, indeed. Probably just enough room to squeeze in Newticles, if he lost a few pounds.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Non-artisan maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Pope Zebbidie XIII6:49 PM

    With the accompanying video D'inesh D'oes D'allas.

    ReplyDelete
  136. From Glenn to Glenn, and down the supply-side...

    ReplyDelete
  137. Pope Zebbidie XIII6:55 PM

    The regulation-free seafood goes down, the regulation-free seafood comes up. You can't explain that.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Pope Zebbidie XIII6:56 PM

    He hasn't reported back. RIP in peach D Johnston.

    ReplyDelete
  139. He might think about washing it...

    ReplyDelete
  140. Pope Zebbidie XIII7:02 PM

    Something's approaching zero anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Love that tune.

    "He was a hairy bear; he was a scary bear... We beat a hasty retreat from his lair, and described him with adjectives."
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Nuxeh4V1ng

    ReplyDelete
  142. Pope Zebbidie XIII7:07 PM

    Where's Rush when you need them?


    That's a trick question.

    ReplyDelete
  143. There're only two kinds of music to me.

    ReplyDelete
  144. ADHDJ7:34 PM

    Or a sober Mark E. Smith of The Fall, which is kind of a horrifying concept.

    ReplyDelete
  145. http://youtu.be/9CdVTCDdEwI
    Thanks, but after that omission I might as well leave show biz. What better place to use the real thing than here where links are superfluous, but no. I'd had enough coffee too.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps7:44 PM

    From their spiel:

    Liberty Island's community is made up of self-described conservative,
    libertarian or independent writers and artists. Their views range widely
    from hardcore libertarian to religious conservative, and everything in
    between. Seek not here for any kind of ideological conformity.

    Now that's true diversity if I've ever seen it

    ReplyDelete
  147. smut clyde8:06 PM

    Liberty Island? Perhaps Mokopuna is available.

    Freedom's just another word for no fingers left to lose.

    ReplyDelete
  148. smut clyde8:07 PM

    In the shuffling madness Of the locomotive breath Runs the all time loser Headlong to his death.

    ReplyDelete
  149. smut clyde8:07 PM

    "The Prayer-Mat of Flesh" was, what, 1650 or thereabouts?

    ReplyDelete
  150. Escape From Liberty Island? Fuck,seems like I gotta play Deus Ex again.

    ReplyDelete
  151. TGuerrant8:16 PM

    Ivana Schnuggul

    ReplyDelete
  152. smut clyde8:19 PM

    Suffice to say that his publisher / editor has prior form.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Put that way, I'd chip in so you could go.
    KICKSTARbursts! Or if Goldberg was going to be there KICKSHART!

    ReplyDelete
  154. redoubtagain8:22 PM

    (I didn't mean to do it, honest)

    ReplyDelete
  155. I can't think of anything that would unite two such disparate groups as hardcore libertardians & religious conservatives ... beyond a fervent desire to destroy (allegedly liberal) public education for profit &/or Jesus, just off the top of my head.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Some of them part their hair on the left, some part their hair on the right.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Magatha8:28 PM

    "But when you look at the lives young people are leading today, the sex is not that great..."

    Wait. Okay. I'm no English professor (nor am I a scientist or climatologist or economist or whatever), but isn't this a modifier that's just kind of dangling? Back in my day, we knew what to do about dangling modifiers, and let me tell you, those modifiers never even peeked out ever again, much less dangled.

    ReplyDelete
  158. redoubtagain8:28 PM

    Oh, OK. Twenty-five years ago this was called Christian Rock (known in this domicile as "crock"). Same pig, different lipstick.

    ReplyDelete
  159. redoubtagain8:30 PM

    It's a political/life philosophy so attractive and so well constructed that it must exist in its own rectum.


    Fixed

    ReplyDelete
  160. Magatha8:31 PM

    Runs the gamut from inane to insipid.

    ReplyDelete
  161. smut clyde8:31 PM

    If the young people are 'leading their lives' they are probably doing it rong. 'Living a lead' is probably not right either.

    ReplyDelete
  162. smut clyde8:32 PM

    From gam to ut.

    ReplyDelete
  163. redoubtagain8:32 PM

    They let you Skype from prison? Must be medium security.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Magatha8:35 PM

    Oh holy frankenfuck, this is my "before" picture that I took to the salon. I'm gonna sue my stylist.

    ReplyDelete
  165. redoubtagain8:36 PM

    "Their views range widely from hardcore libertarian to religious conservative, and everything in between."


    Hardcore Libertarian -- I worship me
    Religious Conservative -- God worships me

    ReplyDelete
  166. redoubtagain8:41 PM

    Some wear swastikas, others the hakenkreuz

    ReplyDelete
  167. Yep. Nothing says "age of innocence" like a novella in which one of the major characters is a voyeuristic thief who masturbates in other people's houses.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Jaime Oria8:50 PM

    ... like Zeno's Paradox - isn't that already a sex thing? I'm sure I've heard folks speak of 'edging'.

    ReplyDelete
  169. smut clyde8:54 PM

    under Libertarianism, it should merely say "see Solipsism"...Hence the I-land part of the name.

    ReplyDelete
  170. coozledad9:27 PM

    Once I stopped leading my life, and made the necessary adjustments to the timescale, the sex got somewhat better.

    ReplyDelete
  171. YNWA405159:29 PM

    Yes-- when conservatives do it, caring is always creepy.

    "I think I'll go home and mull this over,
    'fore I cram it down my throat. . ."

    ReplyDelete
  172. Eohippus9:34 PM

    I think this comment is freaky, and I like it a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  173. coozledad9:43 PM

    Or a southern Mark Smith.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lYReVmqSY0

    ReplyDelete
  174. coozledad9:51 PM

    If he wet his trousers there was no time
    he had nowhere else to go nowhere else could he find.

    ReplyDelete
  175. XeckyGilchrist10:08 PM

    I think I'd never stop matriculating.

    ReplyDelete
  176. XeckyGilchrist10:09 PM

    It's also sending the message that nobody under 75 says "doped up on amphetamines or whatever" with a straight face.

    ReplyDelete
  177. XeckyGilchrist10:19 PM

    And Confucius was way ahead of that - unless the mat was straight, the Master would not sit, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

    ReplyDelete
  178. YNWA4051510:47 PM

    I have a dime that was smashed flat by a train that wouldn't fit into that particular "gamut."

    ReplyDelete
  179. Derelict11:01 PM

    I would like to construct a shrine to this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Rich's mom, perhaps. He never calls!

    ReplyDelete
  181. Derelict11:04 PM

    I've heard it involves asymptotes!

    ReplyDelete
  182. billcinsd11:39 PM

    the angle of the dangle used to be proportional to the direction of the erection, as Homo Erectus said when I was young

    ReplyDelete
  183. billcinsd1:58 AM

    Ed Meese has to be the [garble]

    ReplyDelete
  184. The clergyman who wrote...

    A sweet disorder in the dress
    Kindles in clothes a wantonness


    ...In admiring imitation of those filthy Roman poets who, like pop musicians of today just inexplicably kept writing about fucking or about feeling like fucking or the chances of fucking etc. Which proves I guess that sex in ancient Rome was also overrated.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Bethany Spencer8:10 AM

    Well, who doesn't love rendered chicken fat?

    ReplyDelete
  186. satch8:50 AM

    Also, too... it's sex with someone you love, and you don't have to look your best.

    ReplyDelete
  187. FlipYrWhig9:59 AM

    And the Brits were importing and translating titles like _Venus in the Cloister; Or, the Nun in Her Smock_ by the late 17th century.

    ReplyDelete
  188. J Neo Marvin11:45 AM

    Dear Teary Eyed Eagle Band:

    We have reviewed your demo and regret to inform you that it was not individualistic enough to suit our needs.

    Sincerely,
    The Freedom Prosperity Liberty Family.

    ReplyDelete
  189. slavdude12:02 PM

    And then, of course, Cleland's Fanny Hill from the eighteenth century. Yes, it's a bit later than these, but quite naughty.

    I believe that William Byrd, the founder of the future capital of the Confederacy, would often note in his diary the number of times he rogered the servants.

    ReplyDelete
  190. slavdude12:12 PM

    Is there a Mike Hunt or an I. P. Freeleigh on the list?

    ReplyDelete
  191. RogerAiles12:58 PM

    $5,771raised of $150,000 goal.
    It's the Reading Rainbow Kickstarter for illiterates.

    ReplyDelete
  192. RogerAiles1:04 PM

    For only $2,500 you can get a "One-on-One With Adam Bellow." I'm holding out for a three-way with Adam and Camille Paglia.

    ReplyDelete
  193. ckc_not_kc4:04 PM

    ...foray into publishing
    for·ay
    ˈfôrˌā,ˈfärˌā/
    noun
    1.
    a sudden attack or incursion into enemy territory, especially to obtain something; a raid.
    "the garrison made a foray against Richard's camp"
    synonyms:raid, attack, assault, incursion, swoop, strike, onslaught, sortie, sally,push, thrust;

    ...sounds about right

    ReplyDelete
  194. freq flag11:50 PM

    Yeah, don't they all.

    ReplyDelete
  195. clearthinker9:12 PM

    Just read State of Fear by Michael Crichton. Highly Recommended. It's about the mindlessness coupled with passionate ignorance of the environmentalism movement.

    ReplyDelete
  196. You do know that Crichton writes fiction, don't you? Fiction. And increasingly in recent times, bad and unbelievable fiction....

    And speaking of "fear", Crichton made his first millions pandering to just that.....

    ReplyDelete
  197. "illwriterates", you mean. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  198. ... and "Solipsism" should say "see 'Solipsism'". That would keep them busy and out of trouble....

    ReplyDelete