Thursday, February 06, 2014

LINE OF THE WEEK (SO FAR).

My favorite wingnut line of the week -- and possibly of the month or year, though I'm sure the competition will as always be fierce -- comes from Andrew Klavan, normally one of conservatism's comedy stylists but dead serious in a PJ Media column about, get this, how the right can win over gays and the straights who don't want to see gays boiled alive.

The essay starts with colloquy between two great conservative intellects, Roger L. Simon and Bryan Preston. Simon basically says that liberals use gay marriage "fairly or not, to paint the right as bigots" to the young people, and maybe conservatives should keep their rage over it on the QT and strictly hush-hush. Preston basically says aargh blargh, fags make Christians take pitchers of their so-called weddings, young people are stupid but will learn to hate gays with age, Sharpton has a "hot young thang," under Gay Hitler "the state will feel free to crush what’s left of Christian faith in America under its boot. Go ahead and scoff. It’s coming," etc. (He also calls himself a "libertarian-leaning social conservative," which hilariously conforms with what we know about libertarians.)

Klavan tries to split the difference:
I don’t think Catholic adoption agencies should have to cater to gay couples, and I certainly don’t think a religious photographer should be forced to photograph a gay wedding.
On the other hand:
Either sex is an expression of love that involves the whole person (not just his body parts) or it is a purely mechanical operation. If it is purely mechanical, then you’ll have to explain to me why one robotic sexual action is any more sinful than another. Penises don’t sin, after all; people do.
Believe it or not, the penis line is not my line of the week. It's this one, about how conservatives should talk nice about gays so they can get votes:
So often, the left wins debates by a flagrant and self-serving display of compassion.
There's something  beautiful about this, and applicable to many occasions. Liberals don't want the unemployed to starve? Well, what do you expect -- they're always flaunting  their compassion like a bunch of show-offs. Real Americans find it difficult to show empathy; not to say they don't have it, but they have to save it up for the next time someone makes fun of Sarah Palin.

UPDATE. Comments (a joy as always) contain more than a few references to the Piranha Brothers. "He used compassion," scripts Spaghetti Lee. "He knew all the tricks. Empathy, sympathy, love, brotherhood, caring..." Susan of Texas wonders how far up the chain this compassion racket goes: "let's look at Jesus, the flaming compassionista. Throwing his selfish unselfishness in people's faces..." I look forward to the day when conservatives bitch about The Religious Left like it was the Moral Majority, and start referring to Unitarians as "Yoonies."

188 comments:

  1. I've got my own favorite line:

    Please don’t leave comments comparing this to denying service to black people. Race is a nothing, an invented nonsense. Gay people commit acts that long tradition condemns.


    "Acts that long tradition condemns?" Geez Klavan, that faux-Victorian style I used in that post last night was intended as parody.

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  2. Jeffrey_Kramer12:23 PM

    ...a flagrant and self-serving display of compassion.

    Flagrant compassion is now a two-shot foul, plus possession. That is, you get shot twice and your kids are taken away to be raised by

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  3. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps12:38 PM

    I'm enjoying Klavan's brief nihilistic streak there. We are but meat machines, messily slapping our components together! Italian Futurism lives!

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  4. Adrian12:39 PM

    The other day Orly Taitz complained that Obama supporters are trying to cause "discourse" among the Birthers:

    "These people are trying to cause rift, a discourse between members of the dissident movement against Barack Obama, they are trying to get judges mad, they also are trying to present dissidents as racists."

    ☞ LINK

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  5. marindenver12:42 PM

    He goes on to tell us that " compassion itself is not wrong. In the political sphere, it’s
    required. Wherever we stand, we might put some effort into showing a
    little bit of that compassion when we make our case." So with Dems to show compassion is flagrant and self-serving but if conservatives fake it (and purely for political purposes of course) it's not only acceptable but necessary? Color me confoozled. But it doesn't matter because the conservative animal doesn't possess the acting skills needed to put that one over on the voters.

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  6. Spaghetti Lee12:46 PM

    "He used compassion. He knew all the tricks. Empathy, sympathy, love, brotherhood, caring. It was brutal."

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  7. Either sex is some animalistic urge of pleasure that involves people with appropriate holes (not just the birthy bits) or it is a purely battery-powered operation. If it is purely battery-powered, then you’ll have to explain to me how exactly to insert the batteries. Vaginas don’t weep, after all; people do.

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  8. Bubba Zanetti12:51 PM

    An nth-dimensional word salad like this deserves a Klein bottle of dressing.

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  9. Spaghetti Lee12:54 PM

    Race is a nothing, an invented nonsense.

    Reeeeeally? Maybe tell some of your fellow rightbloggers. They don't appear to have gotten the message.

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  10. Gromet12:58 PM

    All I know is, if they take away our ability to despise people who love people who are the same gender, then Christ walked this earth for nothing.

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  11. Gromet1:01 PM

    Presumably Klavan's next column will be a full-throated denunciation of Charles Murray.

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  12. Susan of Texas1:01 PM

    Yes, let's look at Jesus, the flaming compassionista. Throwing his selfish unselfishness in people's faces. Blatantly and ostentatiously feeding his followers. Recklessly healing the sick, thereby robbing them of the chance to suffer for God and save their souls.
    What an asshole.

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  13. tedmills1:03 PM

    Now read that line in Stephen Colbert's voice.

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  14. Gromet1:03 PM

    THE LORD shoved compassion down our throats! What about our LIBERTY??

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  15. LittlePig1:09 PM

    Oh God no! Not discourse! All our plans ruined by a mere dentist-lawyer.

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  16. "Flagrant, self-serving, compassion." I just wanted to see it in print again.

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  17. Remember that their specific charge against Sotomayor was that she might be empathetic http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB124338457658756731 and empathy was essentially considered anti-intellect and anti-law.

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  18. Phallacy of the excluded middle bits.

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  19. Isn't that the joke underlying the joke "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone...MO-Om!"

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  20. So often, the left wins debates by a flagrant and self-serving display of compassion.



    "i was cured, alright."

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  21. mortimer20001:25 PM

    Shorter all of these fucks: An increasing majority of Americans thinks we're bigoted assholes. Let's discuss ways we can solve this political problem without ever considering simply not being bigoted assholes. (Read the comments to any of these three columns and you'll probably think "bigoted assholes" is too mild. Andrew McCarthy weighs in on this at PJMedia, too. But it's long-winded, incoherent, and you'd get more intellectual stimulation watching The Chew.)

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  22. redoubtagain1:28 PM

    a flagrant and self-serving display of compassion.
    Oxy with an extra helping of moron.

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  23. Gromet1:29 PM

    I would love to see Star Trek: Next Generation as envisioned by these idiots. Just like the actual show, it would depict a perfect future of humanity working in cooperation… because Dr Crusher carries a salt-shaker-with-lightbulb that can instantly de-gay anyone, everyone accepts that whoever has the most money gets to be captain, people relax in Ten Forward because there's a whole exploitable population of Datas to do the unpleasant work, and Worf is so culturally assimilated that he wouldn't dream of disrespectfully wearing his Klingon sash on the bridge. The five-year mission is to secure mining rights, convert heathens to Christ, pay lip service to small business owners, and sow fear and stupidity across the galaxy. The ship will be shaped like a vast fetus.

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  24. redoubtagain1:30 PM

    How'd you get access to Reince Priebus' emails?

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  25. Susan of Texas1:32 PM

    This explains Jonah Goldberg's facial hair. In his mind he lives in a mirror world in which he is the exact opposite of reality.

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  26. Gromet1:33 PM

    I guessed his password on the first try. ("2kAnagrams"!)

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  27. Bethany Spencer1:33 PM

    If you’ve got it, flaunt it! I always say.

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  28. "Penises don’t sin, after all; people do."
    They'll take my penis when they pry it from my cold dead hands!

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  29. Bizarro Mike1:37 PM

    To the dismay of some on the left.

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  30. Bethany Spencer1:37 PM

    I don’t get these sorts of arguments. If we’re just faking our compassion, then, what, exactly is our aim?

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  31. Susan of Texas1:38 PM

    Why does Marxist Jesus want to make Baby Jesus cry?

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  32. Bethany Spencer1:39 PM

    If you don’t believe Spaghetti, check out one of my latest entries, which got trolled by a bunch of Sailerites. Last I checked it was 800+ comments strong.

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  33. Bizarro Mike1:39 PM

    "Quick! Make up some feelings and tell her you have them."

    --Fry advising Dr. Zoidberg on love

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  34. Tehanu1:39 PM

    Was that the long tradition from ancient Greece? I don't think "condemn" was the verb those guys were using.

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  35. Gromet1:39 PM

    In his prime world, normal people love his books, Fascist Liberalism and The Cliches of Tyranny.

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  36. Bethany Spencer1:39 PM

    He just tickled its balls.

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  37. Bethany Spencer1:40 PM

    Oh, so THAT’S what Rush was taking. Explains so much.

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  38. Tehanu1:42 PM

    For the full Molly, Susan, always remember, it's "Sheesh, what an asshole." And I couldn't agree more.

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  39. tigrismus1:42 PM

    Let's discuss ways we can solve this political problem without ever considering simply not being bigoted assholes.

    "Sure, we may be bigoted assholes, but you won't catch US making flagrant and self-serving displays of compassion." *haughty sniff*

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  40. Susan of Texas1:43 PM

    And Medusa, I mean his mom, would have read him The Borrowers at night instead of The Looters And Moochers.

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  41. Gromet1:43 PM

    I had forgotten! That's right: she might consider how her rulings would affect real people in the actual world, and that would be irresponsible.

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  42. Susan of Texas1:44 PM

    God, I miss her work.
    I did not model my work on hers (she is not to blame, that is) but I loved it.

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  43. Susan of Texas1:47 PM

    I had a visit from Mark Steyn's flying monkeys once. It was fun. They seemed to think I would burst into tears and hide my face behind my apron.

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  44. Bethany Spencer1:49 PM

    I notice that internet trolls--especially if they’re conservative--tend to make that assumption about women.

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  45. Susan of Texas1:51 PM

    We are pretending to be moral and good so we can grind our morality and goodness in conservatives' faces because we love acting superior. Also we do it to win arguments since facts are not on our side and we can't reason.
    I trolled a National Review post yesterday. It was very instructive.

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  46. Bethany Spencer1:52 PM

    Soooooo, we secretly agree with them but are hurting ourselves just so we can argue and feel superior? That makes zero sense. (Probably your point, but wow.)

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  47. Susan of Texas1:52 PM

    I batted them between my paws for a little and then took a nap in the sunshine.

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  48. Susan of Texas1:54 PM

    I think they think that we think we are really good but we're not because we're really hurting people not helping them.
    This is one of the many reasons why I just took 3 months off blogging. My heard hurt.

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  49. Bethany Spencer1:54 PM

    Mark Steyn, though? Ouch. I bet their smugness was matched only by their inability to discern real humor.

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  50. Susan of Texas1:55 PM

    They were also kind of stupid.

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  51. GlockPalin1:58 PM

    Advanced commiseration techniques.

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  52. GlockPalin2:00 PM

    Not everyone has a soul, so using yours to gain an advantage over someone who hasn't got one just isn't sporting.

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  53. Susan of Texas2:04 PM

    Soul redistributionist! You want to take the humanity out of one person and give it to others who have none. You are fostering a culture of moral dependency.
    Although that kind of contradicts the belief that we all need religion in our lives to be moral. If you give moral laws to a person, aren't you preventing them from pulling up their own moral bootstraps?

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  54. GlockPalin2:06 PM

    In bed.


    ...am I doing this right?

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  55. GlockPalin2:07 PM

    He'd send the sketch back to the writers for being too over the top.

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  56. mortimer20002:24 PM

    Okay, this is a cheap shot, but one of the commenters said this:

    About once a month I can go to a gay blog and they are talking about teens, who take a pledge to stay virgins and then turn around and have anal sex.

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  57. I want to savagely persecute this comment by not stoning someone who deserves it.

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  58. Halloween_Jack2:33 PM

    everyone accepts that whoever has the most money gets to be captain


    In fact, the show took concepts like this... and stuck them onto the new bad guys, the Ferengi. (They kind of ruined it by making them into snarly little clowns, but as with many things Trek, DS9 fixed it.)

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  59. Halloween_Jack2:35 PM

    Not to get all rubber-glue-I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I, but it seems that there's something kind of psychopathish about assuming that everyone else is just pretending to give a shit. Also kind of libertarianish, but I repeat myself.

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  60. Like DonadleDouglas I think the vast majority of these right wing loons were basically shown pictures of things evoking empathy, love, generosity, charity and then given electric shock until they squealed like pigs. Kind of a clockwork orange for the right. Because their response to the suffering of another human being is not empathy but fear and revulsion. And if they are made to feel empathy, love, generosity to someone not in the favored tribe? Fear and anger.


    C.f. Rush Limbaugh's attacks on Michael J. Fox which were two pronged: the guy's a fake and he's appealing to your sympathy so be doubly outraged. Limbaugh's whole job was to innoculate his listeners against their own humane impulse to help another person (in the Fox case a lot of other people because Fox was testifying about a major medical issue that had been politicized.)

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  61. Bethany Spencer2:42 PM

    Which one of you stinkers POEed this?:

    ""... I feel strongly that any move toward gay marriage needs to be accompanied by well-stated protections for religious conscience..." Well, there's the rub. The angry, bitter lavender mafia has no intention of abiding by "live and let live". It should be apparent to anyone paying attention that they are a malevolent force, out to foist their twisted morality on everyone else. The BSA is a perfect example. They can't just start their own version of the Boy Scouts that allows gays. No, they feel they have some right to shove their perverted agenda down that organization's throats. And do you think they'll stop there? I guarantee you every single traditional Judeo-Christian organization is squarely in their sights. For that reason alone, I am not willing to grant them even an inch, because they've demonstrated that the next step is to take a mile."

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  62. My Christianist sister in law absolutely believes this to be true. Years ago, before MA had equal marriage, we were arguing about this and I said "no one is coming to your fucking church and demanding your asshole minister marry them." (Well, with a little less swearing but no less emphasis) and she said "But they are." And thats true: the congregation had a couple of out lesbians and their kids attending and no one had any problem with that so long as these women accepted a kind of permanent probationary second class citizenship. But my SIL was truly scared of the notion that those two women might go away, get a civil marriage, and then come back to the church and start murmering politely "why is it that we can't have an official religious marriage as well?" These people can't stand to have to own up to their own pointless bigotry. She was petrified of being forced to take sides in what would be a divisive split within her own church and instead of admitting that what this meant was that she didn't have any good arguments on her side she preferred to just keep the entire discussion off the table. She's scared to talk to me about this and we don't see them that often so I don't know what happened with her church and her ex football player minister in the 9 years since we've had gay marriage in our city halls and gay sex in the streets.

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  63. Ahem, that was probably Klavern before it was changed at Ellis Island.

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  64. Well, see also Mr "I fucked up and bankrupted the NRO because of my intransigent postings on Global Warming." http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/02/03/3228411/national-review-defamation/So: stupidity kind of their thing.

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  65. No...on the internet!!!!111

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  66. Because that would be a direct appeal to the Hoi Polloi.

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  67. All joking aside this explains a vague, niggling, feeling of anxiety and nostalgia I've had every time I see Jonah's face fur.

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  68. Susan, you need to go back to mental bed rest--nothing but kittens and knitting for you for the foreseeable future. This is too dangerous, woman!

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  69. Well, it goes naturally with imagining that everyone else is just pretending to exist at all, in a universe of one when you know that single really existing person is yourself.

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  70. BigHank532:55 PM

    I don't even care much if he bankrupts NRO. I'd be satisfied if he had to go back to Canada...and stay there.

    Apologies to any and all Canadian citizens, but we have enough assholes of our own down here.

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  71. Simon basically says that liberals use gay marriage "fairly or not, to paint the right as bigots" to the young people, and maybe conservatives should keep their rage over it on the QT


    Don't you mean DL?

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  72. I'm not willing to give them an even an inch, because they've demonstrated that the next step is to take all nine inches.

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  73. Bubba Zanetti3:19 PM

    DINSDALE

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  74. Bethany Spencer3:20 PM

    So I'm not the only one who got a little hot while reading that?

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  75. marindenver3:21 PM

    Me too. There was just no one like her.

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  76. marindenver3:26 PM

    That's why the poor/disabled/unemployed, etc. are always responsible for their plight. If it's their own fault then there is no necessity to feel sympathy or empathy or even provide some help.

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  77. mrstilton3:29 PM

    Well, yes, but then they would have to turn around for that.

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  78. I also want to point out that no one forced "Catholic Adoption Agencies" to serve gay parents, or non Catholic parents for that matter. Just because it was called Catholic Charities did not mean that the money involved, or the community served, were Catholic. Just like the Holy Roman Empire etc..etc..etc... fill in the jokes yourself. Catholic Charities contracted with the Secular Commonwealth of Massachusetts (god save her!) and took gay gay gay and non christian taxpayer money to serve as an arm of the State in matters pertaining to social work,child welfare, foster care and adoption. Obviously if the Catholic Church had a problem with serving children and families who were not willing to subject themselves to Catholic Dogma it needed to get the fuck out of the paid government social work job and leave it to someone else, maybe the jews and atheists, who were willing to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.

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  79. Mooser3:30 PM

    "The BSA is a perfect example. They can't just start ...."


    I had one that was awful like that.

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  80. Mooser3:33 PM

    Did I ever tell you what happened when I asked my Dad to buy me a Jaguar XKE?

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  81. Gromet3:33 PM

    Zounds, I was not aware of the Limbaugh attack on Michael J Fox. I just read up -- that is batshit insane.

    This part: "So I will bigly, hugely admit that I was wrong, and I will apologize to Michael J. Fox, if I am wrong in characterizing his behavior on this commercial as an act." Really, Rush? "If"? You slander a guy with a debilitating disease, and even then go with a non-apology apology? And then you re-attack him along different lines! "He's allowing his illness to be exploited" -- Uh… or he's choosing, as a free adult, to draw attention to the real-life impact of the upcoming election on people with this disease. How is that so hard to understand and not resent?? Jesus.



    Is it that seeing a guy who is evidently decent but has met with hand-of-god-style misfortune just doesn't fit the rightwing template -- so the guy must be faking it, cuz no way the template's wrong!?


    These people really don't have opinions. They are are all appetite, panic, and violence.

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  82. Mooser3:36 PM

    Well, don't forget, all this false compassion makes those very gullible people who are its object (poor, gay, etc) vote Democrat, too! So at best, it's political self-interest. The wing-nuts never do that. In fact their principles are so high they promise to ruin the people whose votes they want. Now, that's honesty!

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  83. smut clyde3:37 PM

    A true Poe would include something about "bending over" backwards" and "taking it lying down".

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  84. Mooser3:37 PM

    I would indulge in a circle-jerk with that comment!

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  85. smut clyde3:45 PM

    Give Harald Hardrada six feet of English soil and he'll take another six inches.

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  86. satch3:46 PM

    "Either sex is an expression of love that involves the whole person (not
    just his body parts) or it is a purely mechanical operation. If it is
    purely mechanical, then you’ll have to explain to me why one robotic
    sexual action is any more sinful than another."


    Umm, Mr Klavan? There's a Professor Glenn Singularity Reynolds for you on line 2. He says he'd like to meet you for coffee later, after you're done blogging.

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  87. Mooser3:47 PM

    "Vaginas don’t weep,"


    They roar, in numbers too big to ignore. And they know too much to go back and pretend!

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  88. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:59 PM

    The Right is the Projectionist wing of American politics. Mostly what they project is their lack of Humanity, and their "only natural" assumption that nobody else has any either.

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  89. smut clyde4:10 PM

    Not to mention the monologues.

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  90. smut clyde4:11 PM

    kittens and knitting
    Not a good combination.

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  91. tigrismus4:13 PM

    "These sweaters seem so soft at first, but they're actually a little scratchy..."

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  92. Susan of Texas4:16 PM

    There are only 5 days left until McArdle's book comes out. My country needs me.

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  93. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:17 PM

    I'd give it a reacharound...

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  94. M. Krebs4:18 PM

    Discourse is a course in which people dis one another.

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  95. smut clyde4:20 PM

    In a purely mechanical operation, I assume.

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  96. M. Krebs4:20 PM

    Penises don’t sin, after all...


    Is that why they call masturbation "polishing the Pope."

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  97. smut clyde4:23 PM

    Penises don’t sin, after all...
    Winnebago tradition says otherwise.

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  98. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:24 PM

    His (shouted) "I do NOT have compassion for the poor!" (normally pronounced "the pewer"), and John Kenneth Galbraith's quote about the Republicans' "search for a superior moral justification for selfishness" tell you pretty much all you need to know about the wretches.

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  99. Susan of Texas4:27 PM

    Who would have thought that lying and libeling could backfire?

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  100. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:29 PM

    Jesus singlehandedly destroyed the moral character of an entire country. The Right must secretly believe the Romans did the right thing...

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  101. smut clyde4:36 PM

    trolled by a bunch of Sailerites
    Come now. They were hard-headed unsentimental rationalists, impatient with the romantic wistful thinking which prevails among biologists and psychologists liberals.

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  102. dstatton5:00 PM

    Two Hands? What a guy!

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  103. JennOfArk5:06 PM

    It was me own Ludwig Van....

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  104. JennOfArk5:09 PM

    In a just world, it would be titled Are You There, Failure? It's Me, Megan, per the brilliant Gavin of Sadly, No!

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  105. Jay B.5:13 PM

    If it is purely mechanical, then you’ll have to explain to me why one robotic sexual action is any more sinful than another. Penises don’t sin, after all; people do.


    I'll field this one [pushes up glasses on nose]. Andrew, it's OK to call you Andrew, right? Sit down. Please. It's OK [picks up note pad]. Now, this "mechanical...robotic, sexual action" you talk about, is there something you find alienating about human sexuality? You do mention an expression of love that involves "his" "whole person", but you speak about sin in the context of robotic sex [takes a long sip of water]. Let's talk about this in a different way, you understand "consent", right? You understand that in WITHOUT IT, "robotic sexual action" is actually violent, and in this context, "sinful". Whether it's the rape of another human being, or mechanically fucking a dog, these actions are wrong because they don't take place with "consent". You know this right? [puts down note pad and flagrantly serves up a little compassion] Why does sex feel so alienating to you, Andrew?


    Let me try and help here. One can clearly have joyless, perfunctory sex with a willing, equally removed partner, so long as you both agree to it. Sin has nothing to do with it, but consent does [blows bubbles from a bubble pipe], but sex also doesn't have to be a pure expression of love. It can be something in between. It can be just about anything -- a release, a moment of pleasure, and yes, a moment of love too. But it's not either love or robots [doodles absent-mindedly for a minute before looking up].


    Dude, you need a shrink. [Takes off fake mustache and leaves]

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  106. JennOfArk5:14 PM

    They're just afraid that gays in the scouts will mean a new merit badge in cocksucking. I can picture what that badge would look like, and it would be hilarious.

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  107. Is it so much to ask vaginas to engage in dialogue?

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  108. This is so very right that its scary.

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  109. Hell, they don't even have to meet. They can skype. Or simply upload.

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  110. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume5:21 PM

    Maybe they could ask one of those cab drivers they're always getting quotes from whether race is a nothing.

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  111. Ellis_Weiner5:23 PM

    "...and then he nailed my conscience to the floor."
    INT: He nailed your conscience to the floor?
    "At first, yeah."

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  112. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume5:23 PM

    To the dismay of some guy on my left.

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  113. Matt Jones5:23 PM

    "I don’t think Catholic adoption agencies should have to cater to gay couples"


    Finally, a point that we can agree on! Of course, "they shouldn't have to cater to anybody because a criminal conspiracy to molest children shouldn't be allowed within ten miles of adoption" is a BIT different than what the author was thinking...

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  114. Smurch5:30 PM

    Don't cry for me, Vagintina!

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  115. smut clyde5:35 PM

    That's not fair. Thanks to cloning technology, there are other entities in the world besides me.

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  116. I sure wouldn't--not on the evidence from the world around me.

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  117. chuckling5:36 PM

    This is news to me that religious photographers are forced to work gay weddings. How do the gays do that? Stuff too much money down the poor photogs throats? I guess all the money that automatically rolls in to married couples gives them that kind of leeway. Unfortunately for poor chuckling, being a straight clown, I used the $100 bills that God gave me for getting married to chase the dragon. Speaking of which, no Hoffaman obit?

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  118. satch5:36 PM

    Well to be fair, the penis is off the hook, shall we say... but the HAND, on the other...umm... hand...

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  119. satch5:38 PM

    But none that count.

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  120. JennOfArk5:44 PM

    ... robotic sexual action ...


    I'll just leave this here...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZH_gfrnLMg

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  121. Mooser5:52 PM

    "In a purely mechanical operation, I assume."


    To the dismay of some on the left. They are, admittedly, hard to please.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Mae West6:06 PM

    hard to please
    But you repeat yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  123. smut clyde6:09 PM

    robotic sexual action

    Now that's just trolling BBBB.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Gromet6:14 PM

    "Either sex is an expression of love that involves the whole person (not just his body parts) or it is a purely mechanical operation."



    I like how these are the only two choices. There's nothing else it can ever be. I also love that, for the sake of public policy, we must determine exactly what the one thing is that sex will be to all people always. Then I guess we write that down, laminate it, and carry it everywhere we go? Sure. It's the only way to really live.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Give 10 commandments to a man, and you keep him moral for a year or two...

    ReplyDelete
  126. Clifford Beall6:38 PM

    The problem is trying to find a Republican policy that shows compassion - the best I can do in the past few years is when they broke the Hastert rule and ended the shutdown.

    ReplyDelete
  127. M. Krebs6:41 PM

    It is for the kitten.

    ReplyDelete
  128. M. Krebs6:42 PM

    ... but teach him to follow his penis ...

    ReplyDelete
  129. smut clyde6:45 PM

    Give a man a set of commandments and you've made him miserable for a lifetime; give him the Noble Eightfold Path and you've made him miserable for an eternal cycle of rebirths.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Clifford Beall6:59 PM

    You've had gay sex in the streets for 9 years in Massachusetts? It's changed a lot since the '80s...

    ReplyDelete
  131. smut clyde7:01 PM

    It didn't so much frighten the horses as confuse them.

    ReplyDelete
  132. BigHank537:02 PM

    The wingers are just afraid that people will confuse it with the merit badge for ass-kissing, which is the only one they ever earned.

    ReplyDelete
  133. BigHank537:07 PM

    Taking the state's money but not playing by the state's rules was one of the main arguments for Tom Jefferson's ol' wall of separation. Who'd a thunk them founders knew what they were talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  134. Tehanu7:25 PM

    I would like very much to earn that badge with my admiration for this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Jaime Oria7:29 PM

    Hey! That there messily slapping meat machine belongs in the previous thread's gay steel mill.

    ReplyDelete
  136. TGuerrant7:37 PM

    Penises don’t sin, after all; people vaginas do. Central tenet of conservative thought.

    ReplyDelete
  137. KatWillow7:41 PM

    No one who watches Fox news regularly.

    ReplyDelete
  138. smut clyde7:47 PM

    the penis is off the hook

    Memo to self: Do not go fishing with satch.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Mooser7:50 PM

    "But you repeat yourself."


    Oh boy, do I!

    ReplyDelete
  140. Mooser7:54 PM

    "Is it so much to ask vaginas to engage in dialogue?"

    Absolutely! They can't let it degenerate into some sort of cat-fight.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Mooser8:00 PM

    Plus, I contain Legionnaires, or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Well, its true that the new gay marriage laws aren't perfect. My husband is not at all satisfied with his new husband and I don't think they chose the wife they issued me with the care I thought a government issued spouse should have. But you take the rough with the smooth, in this world. All in all the transition to permanent total gay marriage has been pretty straightforward.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Ellis_Weiner8:46 PM

    "Race is a nothing, an invented nonsense. Gay people commit acts that long tradition condemns. It’s a much different proposition."


    Where to start? Longer Klavan: --not that, as a libertarian, I would deny a person's right to refuse service to a black, yellow, brown, or red person in his or her place of business, but never mind. Race is an invented nonsense NOW, although it wasn't when William F. Buckley was among us.



    Being Jewish is something that long tradition condemns, too. So is eating pork. So is robbing another man of his slaves. As Socrates himself said, "When a libertarian starts citing 'long tradition,' check your wallet and count the silverware."

    ReplyDelete
  144. But DAMN is it great to have you back.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Or maybe consenting adults can get their freak on and be satisfied without always needing anything deeper, and what's wrong with that? But they can also still be able to fall in love with someone else. It ain't a fucking either/or proposition. I'll never get the conservative religious mindset.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Well, Zardoz has a thing to say about that...

    ReplyDelete
  147. Magatha9:31 PM

    There's this.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Magatha9:35 PM

    Well it kinda works but I meant it to be not so huge. More of a comment picture than an actual ROAR.

    ReplyDelete
  149. DocAmazing12:49 AM

    Hey! I just got off work. Give me a minute, OK?

    ReplyDelete
  150. DocAmazing12:49 AM

    My Triumph wasn't much better.

    ReplyDelete
  151. montag21:20 AM

    Umm, if one looked at her legal filings alone, I doubt that anyone would come to the conclusion that she was a mental titan. True, one doesn't have to be an idiot to attract supporters and followers that are idiots, but it helps immensely (otherwise known as the Joe The Plumber Syndrome).

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  152. montag21:40 AM

    Ah, but one only need glance in the direction of those present objects of their compassion: rich people. They are nothing if not loyal to those in their perceived tribe. They've just been reticent until recent years to openly show their affection, but after Clinton, they have learned how to feel the pain of the downtrodden wealthy. They are better now at showing their true feelings. They can see from behind the veil of crocodile tears that Tom Perkins is crying out for understanding and acceptance, and, yes, love, "I am a man! I am not an animal!"

    They know that only a brute, a communist, a barbarian would deny such a man his corporate jet tax subsidy. They can feel his pain.

    ReplyDelete
  153. MichaelNewsham4:10 AM

    Lucas electrics rule!

    http://www.mez.co.uk/lucas.html

    ReplyDelete
  154. MichaelNewsham4:36 AM

    "I don’t think Catholic adoption agencies should have to cater to gay couples"

    -and presumably he agrees that Protestant adoption agencies shouldn't have to cater to Catholic couples.

    "A Christian adoption agency that receives money
    from Choose Life license plate fees said it does not place children with
    Roman Catholic couples because their religion conflicts with the
    agency's "Statement of Faith." "

    http://www.utsandiego.com/uniontrib/20050716/news_1n16adopt.html

    ReplyDelete
  155. Squawky6:39 AM

    " I look forward to the day when conservatives bitch about The Religious Left like it was the Moral Majority . . . "
    Why wait? You can go to Rod Dreher's blog today for this sort of thing.

    ReplyDelete
  156. satch8:16 AM

    Aw come ON... have you never heard the phrase "Close enough for gummint work"?

    ReplyDelete
  157. satch8:19 AM

    Well, thinking with "the little head" does keep things simpler...

    ReplyDelete
  158. satch8:30 AM

    That's actually the one thing I admire about wingers. I often wonder why Congressional Dems didn't have the tenacity to submit forty plus bills for single payer health care even though they knew the bills would be shot down every time.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Squarely Rooted8:46 AM

    Penises don’t sin, after all; people do - to the dismay of some on the left.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Vaginas don’t weep, after all;

    [Looks up from Carquest Guide to Human Anatomy]

    Au contraire.

    ReplyDelete
  161. That's what she said.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Or simply upload.

    IYKWIMAITYD.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Yeshua Christos you take a few hours to avoid reality by the Disqus plugin resolutely refusing to load** and the comment thread has already gone to 100 plus comments.







    **IYKWIMAITYD.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Penises don’t sin, after all; people do.


    There goes my best alibi.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Are you channeling Dennis the troll from Sadly, No!? Because that's his whole shtick, that by hating idiot conservatives we libruls are hypocrites because aren't we all Gods children?

    ReplyDelete
  166. Kevin Robbins10:27 AM

    The Right had yet to alienate the US citizens who either suffered from Parkinson's or had friends/family who did. Rush stepped in to correct that oversight.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Susan of Texas10:44 AM

    Is there a reason why we don't call him Harcourt Fenton Mudd?

    ReplyDelete
  168. This is an important point. As far as I can tell from their policies the Right does not know any young people, any old people, any women, any sick people, any one with children in public school, any working people, any foreigners, any immigrants, any descendants of immigrants, any black people, any native american people, any asian people, any non christian people and it assumes that every voter in the US doesn't either.

    ReplyDelete
  169. I thought it was intercourse that went wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Oh my god, I'm very good friends with the family pictured at your link, Halloween Jack. This world is very small!

    ReplyDelete
  171. Hey, the less said about my love life the better.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Robert M.12:47 PM

    Don't you mean phallusy?

    ReplyDelete
  173. LittlePig1:06 PM

    Ah, a Flesh Gordon remake.

    ReplyDelete
  174. realinterrobang3:18 PM

    Well, the Catholic Church does put the "Mass" in masturbation, after all.

    ReplyDelete
  175. realinterrobang3:27 PM

    Oh Smut, you eminently quotable thing, you. I have such a crush on your author function!

    ReplyDelete
  176. realinterrobang3:28 PM

    You're having group sex with Legionnaires? Kinky.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Smarter than Your Average Bear3:36 PM

    :) best SF porn ever

    ReplyDelete
  178. realinterrobang3:37 PM

    Oh no, no, no, please. Between Stephen Harper and his Harperoids (and Julian "Fail Upward" Fantino), Rob Ford, Justin Bieber, Dave Sim, and that insane blogger dude with the Japanese name, we have more than enough. We're only a country of 32 million, for goodness sakes! There's only so much assholery we can absorb. Have mercy!

    ReplyDelete
  179. smut clyde3:38 PM

    Like others here, I am partly inspired to comment by the hope of appearing in "You STILL Can't Do That On Slashdot".

    ReplyDelete
  180. Halloween_Jack3:43 PM

    No kidding!

    ReplyDelete
  181. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:24 PM

    Diqsuq was suqqing diq last night, so I'm way too late with this, but WTF...

    Is this a lasting treasure
    Or just a moment's pleasure?
    Tonight the light of love
    Is in your glowing red LED eyes
    But will you love me tomo--
    Tomo--
    Tomo--
    [percussive maintenance applied]
    oooorrow?

    We been asking this question for a looong time, and we'll--they'll be asking it long after the robot revolution.
    The liquid metal T1000s, though, may have shown us the answer. Or theirs, at least. When two T1000s feel the urge to merge, they just, you know, merge, and, like, become one. And then go off looking for another T1000, because that sure was fun. After a while, they--or just one huge *it*--will be hanging around the T1000 plant, grabbing 'em as they come off the assembly line, and the Terminators won't get much terminating done. This will allow mankind to sneak off and arise from the ashes, to start civilation again. I love happy endings...

    ReplyDelete
  182. smut clyde4:35 PM

    (indeed, some of us even maintain more than one on-line identity so as to double our chances of being cited).

    ReplyDelete
  183. DocAmazing1:05 AM

    I know that karma is not a Christian concept, but...

    ReplyDelete
  184. AngryWarthogBreath6:23 AM

    "Is 'desire to screw the lower-middle class' a feeling?"

    ReplyDelete