TMII am tempted to call it a perfect Goldberg post -- it has several classic attributes, including the breathless eight-year-old-explaining-a-broken-cookie-jar tone, a piss-dance between two contradictory points of view (I guess it's newsworthy, also I guess it's non-news planted by the gayist media), and a lengthy profession of disinterest in which you can almost hear his rising squeal. That it lacks a request that readers do his work for him should not be counted against it, because Goldberg's recent work shows absolutely no need for even second-hand research.
By Jonah Goldberg
I have no problem with a gay man playing in the NFL. I have no problem with Michael Sam coming out of the closet. Good for him if that makes him happy. I even understand why it’s considered such a big deal, even if I suspect there’s more public relations spin at work here than an eager media will acknowledge. But I still can’t bring myself to care all that much. I certainly didn’t need to know that Sam told his father he was gay via text message. Nor did I need to know that his father helped one of his other sons lose his virginity in Mexico. Why is this any of our business?
I guess we can just give it the traditional rating.
I give it four sharts!
ReplyDeletef-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r-tttttttttttt!
ReplyDelete~
I spent too much time formatting. (And far more time then Jonah spent thinking.)
ReplyDelete~
If you want to post without inhibition, you have to find your inner Jonah.
ReplyDeleteWe is all a fan blog now.
ReplyDelete"Why is this any of our business?"
ReplyDeleteYou tell me, Jonah. I didn't know any of that stuff until you brought it up. Why IS it any of our business?
How does Jonah Goldberg fill his days? It would be irresponsible not to speculate:
ReplyDelete25m - Enjoy a danish while checking out the new YouTube videos uploaded overnight.
15m - Add to list of TV shows they'd air if he were in charge.
30m - Write post.
25m - Seek praise from Rich Lowry for writing post.
25m - Check Google Alerts for posts talking about how great he is.
45m - Power naps.
10m - Dodge phone calls from John Derbyshire asking about that guest column from Steve Sailer.
15m - Exhaustive research to find locations of stores that still carry Mountain Dew Code Red.
30m - Watch episode of The Simpsons; write it off as "cultural research."
50m - Lunch. Try and fob off bill on most recent think tank hire.
30m - Spitball ideas for next book. (Dystopia: How Liberals are Making The Hunger Games a Reality? Maybe too intellectual)
40m - Check that contact info with fans is up to date in case he needs help writing his next book.
10m - Phone call from mother reminding him how he got this job.
25m - Snack runs.
15m - High-stakes competitive Candy Crush with K-Lo.
15m - Crank calls to MSNBC.
10m - Deleting emails from editors asking why the latest long column isn't finished yet.
40m - Frantically type something to convince bosses that the long column is on schedule.
15m - Write second post about how he doesn't have time to write a post.
10m - Faaaaaart.
HI JONAH: YOU ARE DEFINITELY AN OPINIONATED YOUNG MAN, AND ITS GOOD THAT YOU ATTEMPT TO THINK ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS, BUT YOU NEED TO REMEMBER THAT A WRITER WHO TACKLES THE DAY TO DAY ISSUES SHOULD DO BETTER THAN JUST A CURSORY READING OF NEWS ARTICLES OR HEADLINES. YOU SHOULD TRY AND BE CONVERSANT IN THOSE TOPICS - FOR EXAMPLE, I'M SURE IF YOU TOOK A LITTLE TIME YOU COULD GO TO THE LIBRARY AND FIND LOTS OF UP TO DATE SCHOLARLY RESEARCH ON HOMOSEXUALITY, SPORTS, AND SOCIETY. I'M HAPPY TO HELP YOU USE WORLDCAT OR ANY OF THE OTHER SEARCH ENGINES THE LIBRARY USES.
ReplyDeleteI'M GOING TO GIVE YOU AN INCOMPLETE - LET'S TAKE ANOTHER SHOT AT THIS, OKAY? A LITTLE MORE SERIOUSNESS AND EFFORT, AND I THINK YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET TO THE PLACE WHERE YOU COMMUNICATE IDEAS, RATHER THAN PUT OUT SOMETHING THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE AN ESSAY THAT MEETS THE REQUIRED NUMBER OF PAGES I ASSIGN.
It's no surprise that over-privileged people like Jonah Goldberg aren't very smart. They don't have to be, and never had to be.
ReplyDeleteThis morning I asked my wife, "Have you noticed that none of our cats seem to be all that clever?" She then told me about some research that she'd read about indoor cats. Apparently indoor cats don't develop the problem-solving skills that outdoor cats do. They don't have to develop these skills, so they don't.
Our cats are all indoor cats, and then always have been, so I could see her point.
No, I suppose Jonah didn't need to know that Michael Sam outed himself to dad via that unwholesome medium of texting. Nor that said father helped another son get laid in Mexico, the kind of detail that would have been met with some variation on "Fuck yeah!" if the family in question had belonged to a National Greatness Conservative running for congress. Knowledge isn't really his bag. He doesn't really need to know that Michael McDonald wasn't in the original lineup of the Doobie Brothers, or that male seahorses carry the young, or that Albany is the capital of New York. DADT on state capitals, please!
ReplyDeleteJonah
ReplyDeleteJonah is certainly the quintessential indoor pundit. It's rumored that K.Lo had him declawed so that the NRO wouldn't have to keep reupholstering the furniture.
ReplyDeleteHe cared enough to write about it, or he was too lazy to write a more substantial post that would have necessitated work.
ReplyDeleteHe's probably been neutered as well.
ReplyDelete"Nuh-uh, mom says I don't have to, now where's my check?"
ReplyDelete15m - High-stakes competitive Candy Crush with K-Lo.
ReplyDeletePlayed with actual candy...
Goldberg used to have these weird apologists on the left who'd respond to every criticism with "Well, you gotta admit he's clever." Strangely, I haven't heard from those people in years. I think they all went into hiding around the time Jonah was claiming that the Sioux burned down the Great Central American Forest.
ReplyDeleteWhat, really? Who ever said that?
ReplyDeleteBingo.
ReplyDeleteI somehow forgot about that one, too, until I looked it up on Sadly, No!
I have no problem with a lazy dullard writing about a gay man playing in the NFL. I have no problem with the lazy dullard writing about Michael Sam coming out of the closet. Good for him if that makes him happy. I even understand why the lazy dullard says it’s considered such a big deal, even if I suspect there’s more public relations spin at work here than an eager media will acknowledge. But I still can’t bring myself to care all that much about the lazy dullard writing about the gay man. I certainly didn’t need the lazy dullard to tell me that Sam told his father he was gay via text message. Nor did I need the lazy dullard to tell me that his father helped one of his other sons lose his virginity in Mexico. Will the lazy dullard who wrote about all this explain why he thinks the things he has just written about is any of our business?
ReplyDeleteI'd also like to give props to Goldberg's readers, who are doing the usual "Stop shoving your sex down our throats" schtick. Most of it is some variant on "Why do the gays keep bringing sex into everything?" To which I have to respond that if, upon hearing that someone has come out as a homosexual, your thought immediately go to fields of men fucking each other's brains out? The problem may not be with the gay dude.
ReplyDeleteOh, no, I meant who ever said that you had to admit Goldberg was clever?
ReplyDeleteWill the lazy dullard who wrote about all this explain why he thinks the things he has just written about is any of our business?
ReplyDeleteA fart is wasted unless shared?
250 words gets a devil dog?
Michael Sam is only a 6'something 260# All-Sec Linebacker, and Blowjob Doughbob needs to remind him of his place?
NRO: Standing athwart our business, trying to decide if it's really ours.
ReplyDeleteLike Rod Dreher, Jonah thinks, or pretends to think, or playacts at "tbinking" like a one year old, that gay folks WANT him to be talking about them.
ReplyDeleteWhen the truth, if I may venture to say so, is that the overwhelming majority of GLBT folks would be much happier if Rod Dreher and Jonah and the like never, ever, ever mentioned them again!
That's three Jonahs in a row. Roy, are you...feeling OK? Anything you want to talk about? I'm here to listen.
ReplyDeleteThat is simply delicious. I mean the brad link under "Bingo." Perfect brad.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way about the Duck Dynasty guy explaining his detailed horror of sex and his theories about the importance of catchin' 'em young. And yet the major media not only forced this information on me they gave the guy a fuckin' tv show to thrash around in the swamp and act his fetishes out. Go figure!
ReplyDeleteEvery Jonah column is a variation of "Yawn, you lefties bore me." It would be insulting if anyone gave a fuck what interested Jonah.
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm glad *somebody* can translate Goldbrick's posts, because I can't make heads or tails of most of 'em. This one seems to be "I don't give a rat's ass about this thing they're paying me to write about today, but here's a couple hundred words because hey, the rent's due".
ReplyDeleteThat can't be right, though, because it actually makes a bit of sense...
This.
ReplyDeleteAlong with Jonah's general petulance and laziness, the entire thing reeks of "Well, I'm not going to tattle on anyone--I'll just look in their general direction and whistle."
TMI? That's rich, coming from a guy who owes his entire career to a presidential blow job none of us ever really wanted to know about.
ReplyDeleteGiven his Dad's reaction, perhaps Michael knew better than to do it in person. Then too, texting seems to be the communication method of choice for the young, and what us oldfarts thing about it is pretty much irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteSome indoor kitties do OK...
ReplyDeleteMy sis thinks a couple of hers do that, too, because she finds open cabinet doors in the mornings sometimes. Up till my present boss, all of my cats were outdoors as much as they wanted, and I never spotted any real cleverness. None of my guys has ever done any of the neat stuff you see on LOLcats, or youtube. Dammit.
It won't do any good unless you nip the pool boys, too.
ReplyDeleteNo. Shit.
ReplyDeleteThus do freelancers like D. Johnston and me end up tearing our hair out. We work hard at our craft. We put care into each sentence, extreme diligence into our research, and many hours into getting one shitty-paying gig after another.
ReplyDeleteAnd then we encounter people like Jonah the Fail. Lazy to an almost suicidal extent. Careless about his prose and his facts. Has a position attained only by virtue of membership in the lucky sperm club. Incapable of learning, and uninterested in it as well.
It's almost as though Jonah knows he's a tool, and he's trying to worm around it.
ReplyDeleteBut no, he doesn't, and no, there's no trying.
I hear there's good money to be made in writing monster porn.
ReplyDeleteShot with a shart, and you're to blame, you give farts a bad name.
ReplyDeleteI think Aimai beat me to it with the Babylonian celery thing yesterday.
ReplyDelete"Why is this any of our business?" Because it's a first, because it'll have an impact. But let's say it's of no consequence... then why the hell are you writing about it, Jonah?
ReplyDeleteThat is because the object of his writing is simply to score points again and again against his enemies.
ReplyDeleteAnd who does he think is keeping score? Wait, if he keeps getting paid, he wins. Duh...
I can't help but think that Jonah is putting his highly toned skills of ambivalence to a political purpose here.
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with Michael Sam coming out of the closet. Good for him if that makes him happy.
What a prick. What a shitty thing to say.
I certainly didn’t need to know that Sam told his father he was gay via text message. Nor did I need to know that his father helped one of his other sons lose his virginity in Mexico.
If Jonah can arse himself to know that, he also knows that Sam's father is a homophobe, which is one reason he's alienated from his father, which is why he let him know via text message.
It's tragic, and it also underscores why Sam coming out--a young black man, an athlete, a role model, who's earned the acceptance of his teammates--is, yeah, actually a big deal. That's why those details matter. It's our business because Sam told a reporter, who used those details because they matter.
And Jonah, who's job is "fucking asshole," can't not actually give a shit; he has to put in his little dig: "Good for him if that makes him happy."
It's nasty, even by his standards. If I had to guess why, it's probably because it takes bravery to go against an atavistic, embarrassing parent.
Plus, unable to structure an argument that a two-year-old can't take apart.
ReplyDeleteThe centerpiece dish--Lies In Aspic, Written By People Who Can't Write, For People Who Don't Read
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/image-of-the-week/files/2013/02/10yvf8m.gif
ReplyDelete~
simply to score points again and again against his enemies
ReplyDeleteSo do the Washington Generals, but they don't win either. . .
From the timestamp I'd say all the interns suddenly had pressing appointments away from the office.
ReplyDeleteI may have to drink and tell you how I met Jonah Goldberg, sometime.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this any of our business?
ReplyDeleteTranslation from the original Faaartsi: "Stop ramming your gayness down our throats!" because that's really all these people think about when the subject comes up. In their articles, and blog posts, and tweets, and emails, over and over and over, day after day. Not being a Pshrinkologist, I can't comment on this, other than to point it out...
And his $2000.00 custom made K-Lo blowup doll he had to buy because she said nunh-uh, I won't either play Strip-Candy Crush, Jonah Goldberg...
ReplyDeleteC'mon, Dex. It's not his fault your office hours fall in the middle of his afternoon nap.
ReplyDeleteMost of it is some variant on "Why do the gays keep bringing sex into everything?"
ReplyDeleteOr, alt,, this: http://tinyurl.com/ychydq5
This is perfectly phrased. Like, eerily perfect.*
ReplyDelete*Mom taught freshman college English for my entire childhood and young adulthood. I think she wrote a variation on this at least once a week for something like 25 years straight.
I'll just leave this here. It's a relic from the Editors, entitled "Load Cube."
ReplyDeleteWTF Disqus? No animated gifs allowed?
ReplyDeleteTranslating from Faaartsi sounds, both mentally and olfactorily, like a very dangerous task.
ReplyDeleteI don't think so. I had the same issue before.
ReplyDeleteSeems to work when it's linked to rather than uploaded, so to speak.
ReplyDeleteGreat cartoon/animated gif. Happily, it doesn't apply to the commentariat here at Alicublog!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's indoor cat is a genius. He not only figured out how to open the cabinet doors to get at the cat food bag but he figured out how to get around the child proof latches she put on to keep him out. I think it's genes more than environment.
ReplyDeleteHaven't they been trying, like forever, to get Pantload a new intern but are not willing to pay the price you'd pay for a, say, Douthhat, intern or something? Maybe I'm not remembering it right.
ReplyDeleteI miss Substance McGravitas, king of the animated gif.
ReplyDeleteIf some dude painted his cock orange, Doughbob would mistake it for a giant Cheeto and try to ram it down his own throat.
ReplyDeleteOh please oh please...
ReplyDeleteAh, the brief disdainful shrug: the highest, purest form of sociocultural analysis.
ReplyDeleteIn Jonah's case, those lucky sperm were the ones that ended up on Monica's dress.
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty much prime bullshit. I remember reading trappers' journals on Michigan in the 1820s, where many describe all of Michigan as a sea of trees. Did Indians burn them all down? Uh, no. Loggers cut them down, which is why Michigan is not one big forest today.
ReplyDeleteIf there were more trees in the early Great Plains than today, the current absence of trees is because white men built houses out of wood (at least those that could afford to did) and cut down trees to sell to other white men to build houses out of wood.
Anyone with a passing knowledge of commerce and capitalism and history in this country can make pretty good guesses about what actually happened to those trees, which leaves out Der Pantload. He has no passing knowledge of anything except gas.
It really is a classic. "Here's this thing about this thing. I hates those gayboys but I can't say that so I'll say I don't care and that means I don't have to cut and paste intern produced work because who the fuck has time for that, amirite?" FAAART!!
ReplyDeleteLol, you got it working. Thanks I'll remember that.
ReplyDeleteAh, Doughy is an inexhaustible well of moral derpitude and intellectual turpitude. He contains, not multitudes, but volumes (and I mean that not in the epistolary sense, but, rather, in the Perfect Gas Law sense). Sometimes it's impossible to ignore the source of a steady stream of emissions. It's kind of like not being to not look at a car wreck.
ReplyDeleteWho knew a guy his size could be such an accomplished contortionist?
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to create a clever blend of shooting fish in a barrel with bottom of the barrel and all I can come up with is Jonah Goldberg is an enormous, decomposing, bullet-riddled sturgeon.
ReplyDeleteAre eager young conservatives getting scarcer? Getting brighter? Demanding pencils?
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with a Goldberg writing at NRO. Right-wing bullshit is their business, so he fits right in. He's a godawful writer, too, which is to be expected in those circles these days. But I do have a problem with assholes, and if there's one thing that comes across in every single thing that I've ever read of Goldberg's, it's that he's a supreme asshole. I can endure the lazy approach to facts, the lack of substance, the shallow unoriginality, and the feckless, dithering nonsense that passes for his opinionated "work" product. It's mostly just a sophomoric rehash of standard winger idiocy, and he's usually too gutless to be overtly provocative in any case. But it's the Jonah revealed that is truly repellent: a Pinochet-admirer and not-so-closet racist, a completely amoral pig and an all-around nasty piece of work, and someone you hope you never meet in real life because he'll turn out to be exactly as he seems to be. (I can never read Goldberg without imagine him snorting aloud at the end.)
ReplyDeleteWhat makes it particularly depressing is that this foul clown is still asked for his opinion on TV, still receives million-dollar book contracts, and still has a nationally syndicated column for his airless dreck, while Steve Gilliard, Al Weisel and Doug Case lie in the cold, cold ground.
I have to admit that the cat from your link really does show problem-solving skills.
ReplyDeleteAlright then, Jonah Goldberg has no excuse at all for being dim.
Expectant of self-respect?
ReplyDeleteIt's not pretty, and I'm not proud.
ReplyDeleteWe should come up with a canonical list of the genuinely TMI moments from wingnut bloggers as a comparison.
ReplyDeleteAce of Spades: Play-Doh and bacon
Ross Douthat: Chunky Reese Witherspoon
Ann Althouse: Onion-ring vortex
The Donalde: Pretty much everything he writes
Anyone else?
*runs screaming in horror*
ReplyDeleteI've always thought that Goldberg wasn't so much an asshole as a jerk trapped in a work life that doesn't suit him, stuck writing the politial equivalent of penny saver ad copy for a wealthy class that doesn't even bother to know he exists. His work life consists of pounding out stupid shit that is even slightly too difficult for him to manage. He's a "knowledge worker" and a "creative writer" who is neither knowledgable nor creative and his co-workers--to the extent that there is any actual human interaction with morons like KLo and Rich Lowry and etc..etc..etc... are frothing lunatics, assholes, and lickspittles.
ReplyDeleteJonah's function is to give an everyman, youngster's hep gloss to the old NR (O) shtick--he's not William F. Buckley, he's not the heir to Buckley, he's more like Buckley's spittoon emptier and shoe shine boy. He's trotted out, to the extent he is ever asked to leave his cheetos infested bat cave, to interact with the hoi polloi in circumstances where no one of real intellectual or cultural heft even EXISTS, let alone would stoop to interact with these rubes. He's hit the limit of his utility and the limit of his capability. He's a wholly manufactured product, like styrofoam packing, that is entirely disposable and meaningless on its own.
This particular "I don't care" column reads like his mother sent him to his room and told him to come up with 2000 words on the same stupid shit that the rest of his hive is writing but he's been offered the world weary, stop forcing us to pay attention to your petty lives, version.
Scene: Jonah is putting on his shoes to go out to a cafe and enjoy himself when his mother calls up the stairs "Jonah, I need 2000 words on how unimportant and irritating gay rights are. Use Michael Sams."
Jonah: "Aw...mom."
Mom: "Right now, young man. Klo is covering the fucking nuns beat and VDH is covering the "I'm secretely still aroused by linoleum and fascists" beat so you've got to take "world weary with a hint of contempt."
Jeez, Aiamai, now you've gone and done the impossible! Now I actually feel sorry for they guy......
ReplyDeleteAs a former high school science teacher, this is just giving me flashbacks of the class jagoff moaning "but why do we have to learn this??"
ReplyDeleteYou were close enough to hear it and lived? Must be feeding them some nice cat food. Or at least better than mine. I mean, man, those flowers never came back.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I'm just spitballing here.
ReplyDeleteNot unless I've repressed the memory.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone asked me 'Will this be on the test' I would always respond 'now that you mention it, probably.' They would eventually catch on.
ReplyDeleteIf you need a second reason to be sorry for him, he's Lucianne Goldberg's kid. Compared to her site, the Corner is the New York Review of Books. If he thinks he's made something of himself, he's got a point, relatively speaking.
ReplyDeleteOT (but relevant to wingnut hackery), Brent Bozell apparently doesn't even write his own crap.
ReplyDeleteI always thought Bozell looked like an extra from Planet of the Apes.
ReplyDeletei was a graduate teaching assistant for a couple of semesters. it's weird how you pick up the style and lingo...
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything here except your first sentence. Here's how I envision our argument about this important issue:
ReplyDeleteAimai: Goldberg isn't so much an asshole as a jerk.
Me: Then he's a jerk wrapped in an asshole.
Aimai: Nah, he's a jerk.
Me: He's an asshole.
Aimai: Jerk!
Me: Asshole! Look, he's a guy who calls Hilary Clinton a fascist but not Francisco Franco.
Aimai: He's a jerk....
Me: He thinks Pinochet wasn't a bad guy because he only killed 3,000 people at first.
Aimai:...and an asshole!
Me: Yes. A jerk, and an asshole! He's two douchbags in one!
It's a fine distinction.
Well, I agree that he's a horrible person. I just don't think there's much moral force behind his awfulness, if you see what I mean. I don't think that the words he uses have the slightest meaning for him--I suppose that should have been evident from his book vaporizing the meaning of the word fascism. But I tend to think that Jonah is more vapid, fatuous, and morally neuter than wilfully malevolent.
ReplyDeleteDr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
ReplyDeleteNo kidding. Cat farts are deadly.
ReplyDeleteI will remind you of one of your past observations of cats: "Seeing tinsel dangling out of a cat's ass is one of the joys of the holiday season."
He always looks like he just smelled some dookie.
ReplyDeleteMatthew Continetti (Washington Free Bacon, Bill Kristol's son-in-law): “Jonah Goldberg: he’s really crucial to me.”
ReplyDeleteMaybe like the royal families of Europe incestuously fucked themselves into hemophilia, the conservative legacy hires will incestuously fuck themselves into brainlessness.
Me also this think!
ReplyDeleteGoldbrick has but one thing going for him: he wasn't the one who wrote that GW Bush was "a man of vision, like unto genius".
ReplyDeleteAnd that's a pretty fucking sad state of affairs.
The president of Creators Syndicate, which carries the column, told Romenesko that it’s “absolutely false to say that Brent Bozell does not
ReplyDeletewrite his column,” but nevertheless, Bozell and Graham will begin sharing a byline
You can't make this shit up...
"Of course, I'm just spitballing here."
ReplyDeleteAre you casting Perelman before swine?
Yeah, but he's gonna need a better act than just bending over backwards.
ReplyDeleteJDough couldn't hold Bill's clipboard. If he tried, he'd have gotten smacked.
ReplyDeleteHeh, indeed...
ReplyDeleteOne of my cats has asthma, bad. We are using an inhaler on him now, not fun, and pills. We'll do the best we can for him, but it doesn't look good, long term. We can't get the asthma under control. Flo-vent and albuterol next. And a respiratory infection which is very stubborn.
ReplyDeleteThat ship sailed so long ago it's the archetype of sailing ships.
ReplyDeleteMy kitty has asthma too, but fortunately not severe. She goes through a spell every year in January where I have to put her on the prednisone for a couple of weeks, but considering that she's 11 or 12 years old now, not too bad. I've seen the photos online of cats using inhalers and for whatever reason, it's hilarious to see a cat with an inhaler mask over his face. I even did a post with one of the pictures one time, titled "Frank Booth Had a Cat." In the caption the cat was saying "Don't you fucking look at me!!"
ReplyDeleteBut I do sympathize with you and hope you can get his asthma under control. I know how concerned I get whenever I can see that Eartha Kitty isn't breathing easily.
http://markmaynard.com/media/dr-zaius2a.jpg
ReplyDeleteThe dookie look:
ReplyDeleteI heard he doesn't have a left hand. It offended him and he read that it would be profitable to cut it off and cast it from him, so he did. Hope he didn't hit anyone with it...
ReplyDeleteProper safety equipment is a must...
ReplyDeletePeople enjoy talking about their cats. Pantload, not so much.
ReplyDeletePS: My DOG (Scowl) ate over a pound of See's chocolates, meant for my husband. That box would have lasted a week or ten days... DOGs. Sigh.
"There’s
ReplyDeletenothing more sensitive than the heartbeat of the locker room."
That line was ostensibly from an anonymous NFL assistant coach, but it's so head bangingly hilarious in a Judy Blume way that I can't imagine it NOT coming from Jonah.
We'd all have to have drinks in order to read the story.
ReplyDeleteChocolate is really really bad for dogs. If this just happened, get him to the vet!
ReplyDeletebaDUMpish...
ReplyDeleteKinda like he took Yoda's message the wrong way...
ReplyDeleteIf only, like Argon, Jonah were inert. Alas, he's merely sedentary.
ReplyDeleteGreat. Now I have to think of Jonah in cat terms, and how he meanders around NRO randomly marking things.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet Jonah writes about it.
ReplyDeleteYou know, the dudes at Mythbusters tried shooting (plastic) fish in a barrel, using a variety of firearms. It's really not as easy as it sounds. But if you ever have to, a short-barreled shotgun works best.
ReplyDeleteGoldberg's essay structure:
ReplyDeleteI have no problem...Good for him...
Except...
I have a problem. Fuck him.
John Derbyshire: Black people are as scary as fuck
ReplyDelete" I certainly didn’t need to know that Sam told his father he was gay via text message. Nor did I need to know that his father helped one of his other sons lose his virginity in Mexico. Why is this any of our business?"
ReplyDeleteIt's almost as if Jonah has no idea about how news, celebrity, and sports interact in a 24/7 media cycle.
And leave us not forget, if I've got my facts right, who got a pink slip from the LA Times to make way for Mr. Goldberg. http://www.truthdig.com/staff/robert_scheer
ReplyDeleteRobin Williams on Margaret Thatcher: "She always looks like someone is holding a small turd under nose."
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel sorry for him, too (almost). He's achieved a status (carried by the L.A. Times!) that he may secretly believe he doesn't deserve. He's a pathetic figure to me, pretending to be a hip conservative intellectual (Simpsons and Burke references in the same piece). Aimai nailed it when she said that he's stick in a job that doesn't suit him.
ReplyDeleteEeep! Now that's what I call TMI!
ReplyDeleteRoy and the rest of you: are you aware of this guy? My Republican cousin just turned me onto him. Infinitely more entertaining than Jonah.
ReplyDeleteIn this one, he pulls the neat trick of showing that (a) homophobia is fake and (b) homophobia is the gays' own fault.
http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/02/16/lying-coercing-manipulating-defrauding-and-scheming-for-marriage-equality/
Ha! That explains why my "rescued" cats who were usually dumped and
ReplyDeleteforced to to fend for themselves awhile were MUCH brighter than the
derpy house-only cat.
Signals To Profit