Friday, December 20, 2013

THE STUPIDEST THING EVER WRITTEN UNTIL GOLDBERG WRITES SOMETHING ELSE, PART INFINITY.

I actually subscribe to "The Goldberg File," through which Jonah Goldberg sends special email columns to the late-night real people, and this is how today's transmission begins:
By the time this "news'' letter reaches your e-mail box, pretty much every joke imaginable about "Pajama Boy" will have been made. But I reject such a dour Malthusian view of Pajama Boy humor! 
When the brouhaha started, I was tempted to make the following joke on Twitter: 
Q: What's the hardest part of being picked as the poster boy for the pajama-boy ad campaign?
A: Telling your parents you're gay.
Blink. Blink.
Now, quick, before you call A&E and have my reality show canceled, the first problem with this joke is that you're not supposed to make any derogatory jokes about being gay anymore. And that's okay by me so long as people avoid being complete tools about enforcing that rule.
Even though he was almost certainly all by himself when he was writing this, Goldberg reacts as if he's feeling the Springtime for Hitler stares that naturally come with this kind of  "but seriously, gay people, amirite, hey don't be a tool, brah, I'm just joking" monologue -- Behold his recovery:
But there's a deeper problem with the joke. It's insulting to gays. And I don't mean that merely in the sense that it's wrong to make gays the butts of jokes anymore (You know what I mean!). I mean that there are plenty of gay dudes -- and women! -- who are vastly more masculine than Pajama Boy. Pajama Boy doesn't exude homosexuality; he gives off the anodyne scent of emasculation. Seriously, the construction worker from the Village People would kick his ass. Besides, this is the gay enrollment ad for Obamacare (there's also this). All of these dudes are manlier than Pajama Boy.
Goldberg's second link leads to a National Review post on the Obamacare LGBT outreach, to which NR's readers respond with humorous comments such as,  "SEND THEM TO THE WINTER OLYMPICS IN RUSSIA WITH THE OTHER 2 LESBOS THAT OBUMA CHOSE," "Gyno exams up their A---s.... or how to ask the doctor to remove Duct Tape from their nuts after taping them up for that smooth bikini look," "And how do you pap smear a f--g--ot... damn... that's nothing but a fancy stool sample...Ewww yuk and a half," and other such gay-friendly jokes you shouldn't be such a tool as to get offended by.
If you try to play out the life of Pajama Boy in your mind, he probably has a girlfriend. It's just that she's wearing the pants in the relationship, as they used to say. I picture her like Sarah Silverman in School of Rock or the girlfriend at the beginning of Office Space who everyone knows is cheating on Peter.
Good to see Goldberg's still working his research chops.
Pajama Boy is a Low-T liberal who wears a "this is what a feminist looks like" T-shirt and flinches whenever his girlfriend makes a sudden movement...
The whole thing goes on like that, not excluding the now-traditional, we-found-out-who-this-Obamaqueer-really-is-and-boy-is-he-a-Obamaqueer routine ("For all I know he bow-hunts alligators and rides a Harley. Though, come on, it's doubtful"). The passage even ends with the kind of customary comeback employed by douchebros who have expended all their intellectual resources on denigrating someone's masculinity and still haven't gotten the universal high-fives they were expecting:
Last, I love the rearguard effort from liberals trying to turn the mockery of Pajama Boy into proof of right-wing sexual insecurity. It seems to me this is a pretty desperate attempt by the MSNBC fanboy set to compensate for the fact that so many people find Pajama Boy pathetic.
I'm not the freak, you're the freak! FARRRRRRT. There -- would a faggot do such manly farts? Only I didn't mean faggot, you know what I mean, don't be a tool...

The whole thing is so vile I'm tempted to republish it so you can see I'm not kidding, but I'm sure one of his fans will have done so in admiration before the day is over.

319 comments:

  1. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps1:53 PM

    Oh yeah, I agree that Jonah, the Cheetos-caked fartiste who's infamous for not even being able to expend the effort to research the articles he's being paid by his mom to write, really ought to be chortling about low-T feebs. Get fucked, Jonah; I bet you're jealous the only reason anyone would ever put a picture of you on anything Obamacare-related is as a free emetic.

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  2. hello public intellectual.

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  3. Pajama Boy doesn't exude homosexuality; he gives off the anodyne scent of emasculation. Seriously, the construction worker from the Village People would kick his ass.


    Okay, a couple of things:


    (1) That first sentence was written by a lazy fat simpering fuck who is only employed because of his mommy.


    (2) That second sentence is a twofer, demonstrating just how clearly Jonah has his finger on the pulse of present-day culture and how he's totally not a homophobic shitstain. I mean, that Village People construction worker is obviously a tough guy, despite being an actual stinking faggot. So, yay gay people, amirite?

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  4. Gromet2:02 PM

    Goldberg is utterly obsessed with a male model and wishes he could joke around in public about being gay. And people who find that startling (hello) are the ones who are "desperate" and pathetic?

    Well, I look forward to Jonah's upcoming art exhibit. I understand he's working feverishly on a series of collages of cowboys, firemen, bikers, gladiators, and the manlier serial killers (the ones who didn't seem to have any sexual confusion). Wait'll we see.

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  5. Spaghetti Lee2:09 PM

    If you try to play out the life of Pajama Boy in your mind,


    I'm sorry, but the only way that sentence should end is "you're a perverted freak, along with you and the rest of the Republican Party, who have apparently spent the last 48 hours fantasizing about every detail in the life story of a fucking actor in a fucking ad." It would be like if liberals tracked down everyone in the "a storm is coming" ad and talked about how they did meth and fucked their cousins. Holy God, what is wrong with these people?

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  6. Wrangler2:12 PM

    He looks like the main guy from the Big Bang Theory. You know, Darlene's boyfriend from Rosanne. What is the big fucking problem with that?


    Whatever. I suppose the "rebrand" proved to be too much work.

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  7. "Sure, some might say that writing an entire article that calls a random guy a 'faggot' in so many words would be immature coming from a high school sophomore with a column in the student paper, let alone a grown man with a position in a prominent journal of conservative opinion. To that, I say...he's a sissy frou-frou pants who probably sucks at sports, so nyeh."


    These people are all twelve.

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  8. M. Krebs2:17 PM

    ... and this is how today's transmission begins: ...


    I'd have gone with emission, but that's just me.

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  9. No kidding. Who the fuck looks at a picture of a model in an ad and immediately thinks "That guy's an asshole. I bet his girlfriend cheats on him"? And more to the point, who the fuck is proud enough of that thought to post it in a public place? Seriously guys, you are allowed to keep some things secret.

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  10. The right wing apoplexy over Pajama Boy has been wonderful. The resultant rage has a rational explanation, you see, and I think I've stumbled upon it. It turns out Pajama Boy is responsible for:

    - Benghazi!
    - abortions
    - AIDS
    - the mochanization of America
    - the feminization of America
    - A&E policy
    - the ACA
    - IRS meanies targeting the Tea Party
    - government meanies targeting the NRA
    - gay marriage
    - the death of hetero marriage
    - gay rights
    - the death of hetero rights
    - Benghazi!

    Plus, he shook hands with another man on Castro street. Someone should hang him with his own onesie. Bog Bless America!

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  11. ADHDJ2:20 PM

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure Goldberg routinely breaks a sweat while eating.


    Christ. The model is a white man literally drinking tea at a party. There really is nothing that they won't fling feces at.

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  12. Eh, I think the whole "making gay cracks means you're gay" is really strained and worn through. In this case, I think it's better to look at the incredible immaturity and obsession on display with these guys.

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  13. What's the joke Roy makes? "Virtual manhood is better than no manhood at all."

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  14. whetstone2:23 PM

    Pajama Boy doesn't exude homosexuality; he gives off the anodyne scent of emasculation. Seriously, the construction worker from the Village People would kick his ass.

    Get it? It's offensive to make gay-bashing jokes, but super-funny to make jokes about stereotypically-gay bashing.

    to compensate for the fact that so many people find Pajama Boy pathetic

    I'd watch out how you throw around that "compensate" word.

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  15. Jay B.2:28 PM

    And I don't mean that merely in the sense that it's wrong to make gays the butts of jokes anymore

    Last, I love the rearguard effort from liberals trying to turn the mockery of Pajama Boy into proof of right-wing sexual insecurity.



    Assuming that he meant to lard his piece with phat jokes about anal sex and give his fanbois a collective chubby about their well-rounded erudition, Goldberg eats it.

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  16. Spaghetti Lee2:28 PM

    "And I don't mean that merely in the sense that it's wrong to make gays the butts of jokes anymore (You know what I mean!)"

    This summer, Jonah Goldberg IS...Almost Politically Correct Redneck!

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  17. Gromet2:30 PM

    Oh, I agree -- I'm not suggesting Jonah is secretly gay. But there's gotta be some anxiety at work here, don't you think? I mean he can't simply be a 40-year-old man with a 12-year-old's understanding of sexuality, can he? Can he?? [echo... echo.... echo...]

    More thoughts later maybe -- right now I'm terrifically busy at Stupid Day Job.

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  18. Spaghetti Lee2:32 PM

    "...pretty much every joke imaginable about "Pajama Boy" will have been made...so many people find Pajama Boy pathetic."



    Oh boy, are we in for another edition of "Republicans mistakenly think everyone in America is just as weird as they are"? I'm calling it right now; at some congressional debate next November, a Republican will say that Obamacare is only for weaklings and degenerates "like Pajama Boy". He'll wink knowingly at the audience, 27% of them will guffaw, and the other 73% will be like "what the fuck?"

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  19. Halloween_Jack2:33 PM

    Aw, give him a break; he didn't make Alex Pareene's Hack List this year. (Even Erick Erickson made the list; how humiliating is it not to clear that bar?)

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  20. I think he's more like a 40-year old man whose social development stalled out somewhere around 12-years old. Everything about Jonah screams Peter Pan Syndrome to me, like he never grew past that point. Just remember, some little kids are just assholes.

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  21. Putting Erickson on that list was cheating a little bit, I think. Shouldn't these be people who have a little bit of respect? Ditto the BuzzFeed guy - yes, he's engaged in a crusade to destroy literacy on the internet, but was anyone anticipating anything else?

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  22. coozledad2:44 PM

    It looks like Jonah drew the same conclusions from Lord of The Flies that he did from watching the Hitler channel.


    It goes completely without saying, but in any right-wing utopia, Jonah Goldberg will be an ashtray. it takes a mighty stupid to ignore this , even for cash.

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  23. mortimer20002:44 PM

    Jeezus, as if the Pantload weren't enough, Megan McArdle jumps in, and Bloomberg is certainly getting his money's worth. After she instructs us less brilliant people on the art of advertising, her trademark Meganalysis takes it to the obvious next step:
    So, why was this ad made? Well, Pajama Boy doesn’t seem well designed to get people to sign up for health insurance. But it seems tailor-made to get conservatives talking about Pajama Boy. And naturally, once they did, liberals jumped in to defend what is, objectively, a pretty stupid advertisement. Suddenly, lots of people love Pajama Boy -- the sort of people who give money to OFA and retweet their ads for Obamacare.
    Conservatives, you’re getting trolled.

    We live in insane times.

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  24. Mooser2:44 PM

    "and rides a Harley."


    Every so often, Goldberg doesn't just stab with the bludgeon, he twists it, too. Notice that "rides a Harley" is not "operates a motorcycle". Ouch!

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  25. cal promo2:46 PM

    Jeez, the dude is wearing nice pjs, looks perfectly happy and is pretty f'able all around. This is a problem?? God these people sicken me.

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  26. Mooser2:49 PM

    "Who the fuck looks at a picture of a model in an ad and immediately thinks"

    Exactly. For all I know, he's CGI (or whatever it is) generated.

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  27. Buffalo Rude2:50 PM

    "By the time this "news'' letter reaches your e-mail box, pretty much
    every joke imaginable about "Pajama Boy" will have been made. But I
    reject such a dour Malthusian view of Pajama Boy humor!"



    I bet he scribbled that on a Chief™ tablet.

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  28. Mooser2:53 PM

    "Everything about Jonah screams Peter Pan Syndrome to me,"


    Would you want to be the stagehand who has to "fly" him when he stars in his own Barrie production?

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  29. If he's at David Brook's "thought leader" dinners I imagine they make him eat outside to avoid the stench.

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  30. I agree with D. Johnston that homophobes are closet gays is pretty worn. But I think Gromet is correct that these jokes express a certain anxiety about masculinity, generally. And the anxiety is rather free floating at this point, just kind of looking for a signifier to attach itself to. So Jonah's line is interesting. Its basically "I'm not attacking this kid for being gay, I'm attacking heterosexual males who don't display appropriate masculine signs like size, aggression, or beating their girlfriends up or having the right amount of testosterone. He's not gay, he's insufficientl masculine."


    This makes liberal males some kind of new new gay guy, ultra feminine because they are subordinate to the women in their lives. While gay men are free to be, in a sense, potentially ultra masculine because at least they don't submit to the reign of terror that is girlfriends that make you flinch.

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  31. But it doesn't call a random guy a faggot--it specifically says "Liberal men who support the ACA are worse than faggots, who might even be manly and on the republican team."

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  32. smut clyde2:59 PM

    When conservatives shut down the government and make themselves unpopular, it was the fault of the other side for making them do it. When they renege on efforts to reform immigration policy, it was the fault of the other side for making them do it. There is a sort of a pattern emerging here.

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  33. He definitely meant to "lard it with phat jokes about anal sex" because he draws attention to the word "butt" with a paranthetical plea that he's only joking.

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  34. The times aren't any crazier, but the right wing pundits sure are.

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  35. Yeah, I'd hit that if it weren't cradle snatching.

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  36. Buffalo Rude3:03 PM

    Sort of the "bitch made me hit her" defense, eh?

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  37. smut clyde3:04 PM

    the anodyne scent of emasculation
    Raising the question, what is the non-anodyne scent of masculinity preferred by Johan? Axe or Lynx?

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  38. Mark_Bzzzz3:05 PM

    Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people. What bothers them so much about an attractive young man wearing pajamas and drinking a cup of coffee? Is it some sort of brain disease?

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  39. Buffalo Rude3:05 PM

    Simply by existing the liberals are trolling the wingnuts.

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  40. smut clyde3:06 PM

    More a case of "Bitches made me stick a fork in my eye and stick my tongue in the light socket! Look what a victim I am"

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  41. coozledad3:06 PM

    A three week old pizza hot pocket falling out of his gunt?

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  42. That's definitely a good point - there does seem to be some kind of masculinity obsession among the brethren, even those who don't seem to care about gay issues. It's old gay and lesbian stereotypes repurposed into attacks against liberals in general.


    That's the kind of thing I saw plenty of growing up in a rural community. Everyone's obsessed with it.

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  43. TXkid3:08 PM

    Q. What's the hardest part about rollerblading?
    A. Telling your parents you're gay.


    Told to me 10 FUCKING YEARS AGO by my partner at the time. Jesus fucking christ, get some fresher material, douche weasel.

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  44. coozledad3:13 PM

    If they ever make a movie about Jonah and Lucianne, they'll have to coax Faye Dunaway out of retirement..

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  45. hellslittlestangel3:14 PM

    I look forward to seeing Ann Coulter and John Derbyshire on Comedy Central Roasts Jonah Goldberg. Should be edgy.

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  46. KatWillow3:15 PM

    Uprated for "fartiste". Alicublog is becoming a "learn a new word every day" kind of site.

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  47. hellslittlestangel3:16 PM

    I'm seeing Angela Lansbury.

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  48. brandonrg3:16 PM

    I write life stories for every model in the Macy's catalog.

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  49. KatWillow3:18 PM

    Does Doughy make fart jokes?

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  50. More McArgle Bargle: Good ads usually
    do one of three things: they make you want to be more like the person in the ad; they make you want to date the person in the ad; or they engage you and the maker of the ad as knowing co-conspirators in laughing at that terrible person in the ad, whom you are not at all like in any way.


    Yes, Megs, that’s exactly what hangs on the conference room walls of every ad company in the world. You fucking clueless git.
    Here's my own take:

    Really shitty writers always do one of three things: they make you want to note why their writing is so horrendous so you can avoid it; they make you want to tell the writer to go have sex with him or her self; or they engage you and others in merciless mockery of the fecal matter flowing from the really shitty writer’s moronic mind.

    Congrats, Megs! You fulfilled my list to a tee-hee-hee.

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  51. brandonrg3:19 PM

    She seems to not understand that this was a message to OFA members to go out there and 'sell' Obamacare, not an ad directed at the general population to bolster support for Obamacare.

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  52. whetstone3:20 PM

    It's really disturbing (my wife is a domestic-violence lawyer) at how Goldberg and others are conflating one's ability to do violence to another with masculinity, and that with whether or not one can be the target of ridicule. (Oh, it's okay to make fun of someone as long as they're weaker. How brave.)

    "Flinches whenever his girlfriend makes a sudden movement": "Even a woman can beat him up! Ha-ha!" What's fucked up about this--well, one of many things--is that Goldberg's response is that this makes him a legitimate target.

    That's sick; it's just indescribably vile. Men in heterosexual relationships are the subjects of domestic violence. It's uncommon in comparison to the opposite, but it does happen. I cannot fathom denigrating someone because he is fear of his physical safety. Or her. Anyone.

    The compensation I see is, as you point out, one of masculinity. And this compensation is targeted to literally the last people they have left below them.

    Gays won. Women won. Who's left? Someone who can't (or won't) defend himself. What are they compensating for? Fear.

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  53. KatWillow3:21 PM

    Well, doesn't Loadpant's wife the real bread-earner in the family, while he stays home with the kids, writing columns for the LA Times?

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  54. Spaghetti Lee3:22 PM

    One of my favorites is still Dick Gregory's "I'd rather be black than gay, because you don't have to tell your parents you're black."

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  55. A whole lot has been written about how fragile masculinity and masculine power are--how in the imagination of some people they aren't natural at all but rather achieved, or struggled for, in a world that constantly diminishes them. If you really thought that masculinity and femininty were completely distinct and ingrained from birth you wouldn't worry at all about changing styles of dress or hair or whatever. But in fact the right wing is obsessed with the idea that masculinity can be diminished or destroyed by lots of things--the way people look, or talk, or dress, or date or just the way other people look at you and evaluate you. And it can only be restored through violence or assumption of control over other people.


    Jonah and his buddies aren't really all that worried about the gays anymore--they've accepted and even rather admire them for insisting on their rights (very masculine! take your rights! Win!) and they've transferred their antipathy for that which is feminine/weak/subordinate onto Liberals where they can positively rejoice in their dislike because they dont even want Liberals to convert to the "right" side of things. They want to convince anxious male liberals to avoid liberal cooties, and imply to liberal women that the liberal men aren't worth having.

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  56. KC45s3:24 PM

    It's almost a perfect distillation of Goldberg Essence. The lack of self-awareness (being lectured on manhood by Jonah Goldberg! It's like being lectured on fine dining by the Donner Party); the incredibly dated pop culture refs (Village People, Office Space) that nonetheless provide his punch lines; his hedging, part of his ongoing lack of courage in giving voice to what he truly believes; and his laziness, as it's clear software writes his stuff now.

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  57. KatWillow3:24 PM

    No kidding. Who the fuck looks at a picture of a model in an ad and immediately thinks "That guy's an asshole. I bet his girlfriend cheats on him"


    A guy who knows he's and asshole and suspects HIS wife is cheating on him?

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  58. Spaghetti Lee3:25 PM

    Remember the 'groin paste' thread? Something like that.

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  59. Plus, he shook hands with another man on Castro street.


    This line is free to menace my masculinity any time.

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  60. KatWillow3:29 PM

    When I first saw the ad, I thought the pajama guy was supposed to be someone's KID, with myself (the parent) looking at him on Christmas day and thinking "Gee, now I can get Bobby health care!"

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  61. sharculese3:31 PM

    That was where my brain went, in large part because the lamentably short-lived Human Giant took that tired joke and made it into something hilarious:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9q30Ce2vwE

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  62. gocart mozart3:32 PM

    "Last, I love the rearguard effort from liberals"



    I see what he did there;)

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  63. Well, Jonah would apparently hit that, too, in the name of masculinity, if he weren't too busy with a deadline.



    ... Wait, not that kind of "hit." He'd use his fist.


    ... Okay, that's it. Time to leave for a long, hard week end.

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  64. nowlo3:32 PM

    Like, 75% of conservative analysis of anything is pure projection.

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  65. Spaghetti Lee3:33 PM

    Yeah, the whole thing's a pretty scary rabbit hole. I think in a lot of ways, changes to the economy have punched some holes in traditional markers of masculinity (financial independence, having a physically-demanding job, going out in the wilderness to hunt or whatever) and conservatives, as usual, blame the wrong people, as if it was some purposeful conspiracy by women, gay people, and academics to take away those things, out of spite, rather than the effects of globalization, suburbanization, and the collapsing middle-class job market.

    They also obsess, as we see here, over stuff like hair and clothes as measures of manly essence, which I think is more coincidental than anything. Yes, there's more hipster men with goop in their hair and artisan scarves than there used to be, but we're still as a society whole lot less poncey than any time when you had to wear a suit or a giant freakin' hoop skirt when you left the house just to be a member of decent society (i.e. the times conservatives wish they could drag us back to.)

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  66. coozledad3:33 PM

    Exactly: It's the stink of desperation.

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  67. nowlo3:34 PM

    Everything is a conspiracy with these folks. Everything.

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  68. he gets the transformers tray and is allowed to take his thought leader dinner into the living room to watch spike tv.

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  69. Tell that too all these models who now have to tell their parents they're "ambi-racial."

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  70. KatWillow3:36 PM

    "Telling your parents you slept with a Haitian woman."


    (I cannot get Disquis to recognize me... tho it seems to have noticed I deleted the Valentine's day icon a year ago)

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  71. synykyl3:37 PM

    I'll give you 2-1 odds that Pajama Boy could take Jonah in a fistfight. Hell, I'll give you 2-1 odds that Pajama Boy's little sister could take Jonah in a fisfight.

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  72. Now, quick, before you call A&E and have my reality show canceled, the first problem with this joke is that you're not supposed to make any derogatory jokes about being gay anymore. And that's okay by me so long as people avoid being complete tools about enforcing that rule.


    So, you should avoid being complete tools about calling out complete tools? Tools all the way down!

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  73. coozledad3:56 PM

    You know, i hate football, but i'd go to a shiity sports bar to watch that game.

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  74. Helmut Monotreme3:57 PM

    Because people who ride Harleys are always straight as an arrow, and as butch as R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket? Has he ever been somewhere where more than five Harley riders are gathered?

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  75. Halloween_Jack3:58 PM

    More seriously: Erickson hasd a gig on CNN until early this year, so someone took him seriously.

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  76. I guess Richard Cohen (number 5) was a representative for all of Team Hiatt.
    ~

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  77. Halloween_Jack4:01 PM

    I don't think I want to be around if/when Doughy finds out about Dykes on Bikes; he'll either wig out or stalk them, and the results won't be pretty either way. (Not that the results in his case are ever pretty... oh, you know what I mean.)

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  78. Halloween_Jack4:02 PM

    Finally, I just have to say that, even though all of Pareene's parodies seem to be spot-on, I was especially amused by the BuzzFeed one.

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  79. Helmut Monotreme4:04 PM

    If I had won the lottery I would provide Jonah Goldberg with the Harley of his choice and all expense paid trip to both Sturgis and Bike week in Daytona. (and paid a film crew to follow him)

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  80. smut clyde4:05 PM

    Angie Dickson, reprising her role from Wild Palms.

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  81. smut clyde4:07 PM

    Ann Coulter and John Derbyshire on Comedy Central spit- Roasts Jonah Goldberg
    FTFY.

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  82. smut clyde4:15 PM

    fantasizing about every detail in the life story of a fucking actor in a fucking ad.

    Meanwhile a reality-TV actor goes off-message with his character and improvises the wrong lines, and suddenly senators and governators are claiming that "saying your lines wrong" is a 1st-Amendment Issue.

    I am old enough to remember when the media would ridicule anyone stupid enough to publicly confuse actors with the characters those actors play (see Quayle, Murphy Brown). Of course that was before Supreme Court judges took to citing TV characters as precedent.

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  83. Waingro4:16 PM

    I recently learned what "spit-roasting" involves and I'm not sure the image of Coulter and Derb performing that act is something I want in my brain.

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  84. hellslittlestangel4:18 PM

    I hate football, but I'd hang out in a shitty sports bar with that comment.

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  85. Pajama Boy doesn't exude homosexuality; he gives off the anodyne scent of emasculation.

    Gah, Jonah singlehandedly murdered the English language! It's hap... occure, ya no puedo usar la lengua ingles. Gracias, Jonah!

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  86. smut clyde4:19 PM

    As I may have said before, everything is better with a trebuchet.

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  87. After Pajama Boy knocked Jonah on his ass, Jonah would sit there screaming, "No fair, YOU CHEATED!"

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  88. DN Nation4:30 PM

    Putting the B in LGBT here. If I were to think of the height of definitive non-masculinity, the lazy, bloated, flatulent, idiotic Pantload would be up there.

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  89. Mooser4:33 PM

    "Because people who ride Harleys are always straight as an arrow, and as butch as R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket?"


    They may be all that and more, but they don't jack about motorcycles or motorcycling. And don't even have a long-distance relationship with taste.

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  90. fraser4:37 PM

    Extra points for weaselly-ness. Jonah assures us that Gay Jokes Are Wrong, but of course, you shouldn't fuss if someone does make them. Possibly he seriously imagines he's insulated himself from criticism. Or is it "See guys, I mouthed the poltically correct bullshit they want to hear, but then I totally outfoxed them!"

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  91. I dunno, Jonah's hands are oddly small and soft looking. I think he'd probably bruise his knuckles if he hit Pajama Boy.

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  92. JennOfArk4:42 PM

    You could shorter this thusly:


    Jonah: "Dear lord, why can't I stop thinking about Pajama Boy?!"

    ReplyDelete
  93. JennOfArk4:43 PM

    Again....


    "Dear LORD, WHY can't I STOP thinking about Pajama Boy?!"

    ReplyDelete
  94. JennOfArk4:45 PM

    Excretion.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Gromet4:51 PM

    So many good thoughts going on in this thread! I'll go out on a limb and say that Jonah's initial stupid "joke" isn't even 100% derogatory toward gay people, because it acknowledges that coming out is hard -- arguably the punchline depends on sympathy. Jonah himself loses that possibility in the swirl of chaos that is his desire to always be the victim -- "Can't talk! PC tyranny!" -- but the sympathy is there, even if overwhelmed.



    That's a real anxiety -- it seems reasonable to imagine Goldberg doesn't feel like a "real man" on what I suppose are his own terms (being commanding, buff, self-reliant, direct), and that every sentence he types is an attempt to liberate himself from inauthenticity or emasculation; that would be fairly normal, actually. But by making a career out of writing about victimhood -- even his stupid book is about victimhood -- he wallows in it, petulantly (e.g., it's no fair we can't make gay jokes!). That's not normal. Victim status is central to his identity. Without it, his whole style of faux-arch douchebluster has no justification. His persona would go up in the smoke of calm self-respect. So, Aimai, when you note (somewhere below, or above) how fragile masculinity is for many who view it is an achievement rather than nature, I think Goldberg suffers that in his bones and his whole persona is an incompetent answer to it.



    Also, D Johnston, you note "some kind of masculinity obsession among the brethren, even those who don't seem to care about gay issues" -- yes, that, and it gets weirdly pervasive; I have a friend who insists that vegetarians are not real men. He scoffs in contempt. What difference does it make to him what someone EATS? But there it is. It might have something to do with all the effort he has made to stake out his own masculinity, and all the way he feels the world has tried to rob him of it -- he has expended a lot more effort than I have, and has been more sensitive to the defeats. I sometimes wonder, when he gets angry because he sees a guy choose salad instead of steak -- is he angry exactly because that guy's happy with that choice? Does he feel that implicit in that happiness is an accusation that his own efforts are unnecessary and strictly defensive? The vegetarian may be doing a better job of living up to the childhood myth that "In America, you can be anything you want"? While clearly steak guy is sweatin it, worried about what he should be, looking for hints, not sure, feeling generally under attack and ill-defined. He'd like a zombie apocalypse with its simple directive: survive. Modern civilization instead offers him a million possible lives, and he's stuck thinking "Well, if I declare myself a Ford man or a Chevy man, or a beer man or a gin man, or I make hats a part of my look or not -- either way, I'm a fraud. Cuz it's all just branding and consumer goods. Ford or Chevy, I'm kind of a fag." That's why these guys vote for the primal life-or-death crises: war, warming, zombies, the return of Jesus. Because on some level the real world is all inescapably fake and they don't have the agility that requires.


    If I had a point, it is lost to the goddamn sands of time. Goldberg is a panicking moron who smells like an elephant's butt?

    ReplyDelete
  96. JennOfArk4:51 PM

    Shit, reality is trolling the wingnuts.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Gromet4:55 PM

    "Maybe it will calm me to cut out images of real men from magazines and decoupage them to the walls of my den."

    ReplyDelete
  98. JennOfArk5:02 PM

    Cuz it's all just branding and consumer goods.

    "...but he can't be a man cause he doesn't smoke
    the same cigarettes as me..."



    and also:


    "...and the papers want to know whose shirts you wear..."

    ReplyDelete
  99. Helmut Monotreme5:03 PM

    Eh. I think we've had this discussion before,but I don't get the Harley hate. I know several people who do indeed know plenty about riding and motorcycling and still choose to ride Harleys and do it safely and well. I know some complete posers who also ride Harleys and are a danger to themselves and everything on the road. Sadly without Harley riders and wannabe Harley riders I don't think there are enough motorcyclists in the nation to keep motorcycling as legal as it is. If cruisers didn't exist and every bike on the road was a sport bike or a touring bike or a dual sport the Harley types would still be killing themselves by plowing into the ditch, but without the gobs of chrome and badly tuned tractor engine sound, it would be much harder to tell which bikes to give lots of extra room to, although I suppose their helmet-less craniums would be still be another tell. Bad drivers gotta drive bad, and if they weren't driving badly in obnoxious Harleys, they'd be driving badly in something equally ridiculous, whether it be a tricycle or a parade float.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Gromet5:08 PM

    Ha! Very nice. My steak-eatin' friend would instantly get your first reference, because the Stones are definitely masculine. But not your second, because Bowie is from Mars.

    ReplyDelete
  101. coozledad5:19 PM

    Brought to you courtesy Fleetlabs, and the Fleet Holiday 24 pack.

    ReplyDelete
  102. smut clyde5:19 PM

    Shirley you mean "the anodyne scent of desperation".

    ReplyDelete
  103. repubcooks5:20 PM

    Or the guy who buys a Porsche to compensate for his tiny schlong?

    ReplyDelete
  104. Gromet5:22 PM

    Yikes, she really wrote that? Okay, I work in advertising; I promise everyone here that not one of her three things is ever our goal. How she felt equipped to tell me what I do for a living, who knows. But she's wrong.

    Super wrong. We do endless studies to determine how specific niches of potential customers already see themselves, and we appeal to that. We differentiate brands first, then products. And we need to be entertaining and useful, or no one pays attention. That's the ultra-short version of what's behind an ad. What you never hear in a meeting? "Let's make America want to be or fuck the actor we hire -- that's how we'll sell more widgets!" Jebus Cripes she is a detestable in her foisted-everywhere ignorance.

    ReplyDelete
  105. sophronia5:31 PM

    Of course, Because their contempt is not for gay men, who are still men. Their contempt is for women. The vagina is still the most disgusting and horrifying thing on the planet earth as far as they're concerned. Worse yet, it's contagious, and it's trying to destroy them.
    Pajama Boy lets his girlfriend wear the pants. He's afraid of her. She makes him publicly identify as a feminist! She probably picked out his stupid glasses and onesie pajamas! He's not a real man because he doesn't treat women as extraneous alien beings with no agency, like men are supposed to.
    The war on women -- it's really what they're all about.

    ReplyDelete
  106. i want to spend all day long in the toy section of the jc penny catalog with this comment

    ReplyDelete
  107. Our Megs is nothing if not polite, though. After all, she did use the word "date" instead of "fuck until your dainty bits can't take it any more."

    ReplyDelete
  108. One word: Dandy. A guy who dresses up and attracts wimen and can get laid isnt poncey. He's a dandy. And jonah and his fart buddies protestations to the contrary women often love a man who is "point de vice" and takes the time to brush his damn teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  109. LookWhosInTheFreezer6:01 PM

    Yeah. While it obviously wasn't the main reason for doing it, I like to think that the guaranteed GOP freakout was an additional point on the plus side of the ledger for his decision to send Billie Jean King to Sochi.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Mooser6:04 PM

    The riders are the effect, not the cause. The machine itself is an affront to every value we hold valuable, dear. As for the company which would make such a thing, words flail me,

    And I don't dislike Harley riders, in fact, I don't think I have ever spoken to one.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Mooser6:06 PM

    He'll need one-a them fancy dual-wheel diesel pickups and a trailer if he wants to make it all the way to just outside Sturgis.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Well pour me a cocoa and snap tight my trap door, the
    goobers are expanding the whole Pajama Boy MasculaPlooza to take shots at that panty-waste Obambi.

    Pull (heh) quote: And the labor-force participation rate, in many ways a better measure of employment, has plunged during the Obama years. Forgot (sic) the bicycle helmet, the mom jeans, the wife scolding us about
    eating our veggies, the fact that he throws a baseball like he should
    be relaxing with a mug of cocoa in his footie pajamas
    — President
    Obama loses points for style, to be sure, but he has a substance problem too.
    (emphasis mine.)

    Read the comments at your own peril.

    I guess this is like having a little extra lovin’ with your sweetie before one of you goes away for an extended time. You know, a chance for all the proper religionists to ejaculate their bile ducts before getting all faithy and charitable to celebrate the birth of some white kid in the Middle East.

    ReplyDelete
  113. M. Krebs6:09 PM

    Come on, please don't make me go googling for this cultural icon.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Mooser6:17 PM

    I, too, thought after the shutdown and the shootings the crazy might dial it back a bit over the Holidays and maybe next spring.

    ReplyDelete
  115. And there's the classic paradox of social cons - masculinity and femininity are natural and innate, yet we have to engulf our sons and daughters in them lest they stray.


    I often wonder how far back this "crisis of masculinity" thing goes. As you suggest, a lot of it seems tied to lifestyle shifts - many of the men who obsess over these things lead lives that would have been considered very soft in previous generations, so they try and compensate. But was it always this bad? I keep flashing back to my grandfather. He was what the cons would consider a real man - Army scout, law enforcement background, hunter, gun collector, the works. Yet he never seemed bothered by the fact that none of his sons followed in his footsteps, nor the fact that all his grandsons were artistic/intellectual types.


    It suggests that a lot of this obsession is inwardly focused. These guys are terrified that they're not real men, whatever the hell that even means.

    ReplyDelete
  116. I think there might be a webcomic in there somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  117. My guess is that they'll only fixate on Pajama Boy until they find someone else to stalk.

    ReplyDelete
  118. It was hilarious, but mostly because it wasn't really parody so much as a distressingly accurate imitation.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Tony Prost7:06 PM

    It's like he's never seen a J.C. Penny's catalog before.

    ReplyDelete
  120. M. Krebs7:07 PM

    "re-odorant "


    Word of the week!

    ReplyDelete
  121. Jay B.7:08 PM

    Yes, you're right. It's why I went with the fat jokes. It makes me a bad person, but a bad person who votes right.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Tony Prost7:08 PM

    He just wants the grownups to admire him.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Jay B.7:12 PM

    The Tyranny of Cliches is a Jacobin muse.

    ReplyDelete
  124. M. Krebs7:15 PM

    When I think about what emasculation smells like (which is never), the last word that comes to mind is "anodyne."

    ReplyDelete
  125. XeckyGilchrist7:41 PM

    It is tonight - Utah's gay marriage ban has been struck down and Salt Lake City's mayor is marrying any couple who shows up.

    ReplyDelete
  126. M. Krebs7:45 PM

    There are certain hobbies that carry along with them an apparent culturally approved license to be a complete asshole who has no regard for other humans. Motorcycles are #1. Smoking used to be one, but cultural approval has been rescinded in most places.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Tybalt7:45 PM

    It's extraordinarily pathetic. Either he's pretending to have ideas he doesn't have to look... tough, I guess; or he's genuinely afraid of a bunch of liberals.

    ReplyDelete
  128. butcher pete7:45 PM

    Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,11150/

    ReplyDelete
  129. XeckyGilchrist7:46 PM

    Aha, the corollary to Rule 34.

    ReplyDelete
  130. StringOnAStick7:52 PM

    Heh. The Mormon hive mind is heading to assplody-town on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  131. XeckyGilchrist7:55 PM

    I'm looking forward to it. The Church has been pretty carefully wording its statements after the negative publicity they got for pimping Prop Hate, but the rank and file aren't going to be so circumspect. See, e.g., our dumbass governor pissing and moaning about Activist Judges.

    ReplyDelete
  132. StringOnAStick7:55 PM

    Why would you think that? Well, other that the fact that it is going to require an exhausting effort to maintain this level of constant rage all the way up to Nov of 2014. Strokes for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  133. Teddy Roosevelt, crisis of masculinity.

    ReplyDelete
  134. You are a good person--because of the phat jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  135. XeckyGilchrist8:17 PM

    I know, right? I never thought I'd have the opportunity to use the phrase "rote paranoia" but here we are.

    ReplyDelete
  136. mortimer20008:20 PM

    How she felt equipped to tell me what I do for a living, who knows. But she's wrong.

    This is the essence of Meganism. She poses as an expert on all things -- politics, economics, advertising, cooking, you name it -- based on nothing more than limited experience and confidence in the superiority of her thought over anyone else's, including those with genuine knowledge and expertise. "But she's wrong" invariably follows her output like acid reflux.

    Like Goldberg, she's somehow managed to translate being obtusely opinionated on any subject into a comfortable living, which is something I can never forgive Gutenberg for, or somebody.

    ReplyDelete
  137. RogerAiles8:22 PM

    Seen it? He dated it for four years at Goucher.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Bethany Spencer8:57 PM

    Thanks for this. I thought I was the only one who noticed he was making fun of men in abusive relationships.

    That's pretty sick stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Baron Elmo9:11 PM

    If memory serves, the Indian was the only truly gay member of the Village People. Which only makes Goldberg's asshattery even stupider, if that's possible.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Baron Elmo9:14 PM

    I'd love to see Pajama Boy take offense and challenge the Pantload to a fistfight... then watch Jonah weasel his way out of accepting the challenge. ("Sorry -- I'm on a deadline.")

    ReplyDelete
  141. stepped_pyramids9:16 PM

    "Pajama Boy is a Low-T liberal who wears a "this is what a feminist looks like" T-shirt and flinches whenever his girlfriend makes a sudden movement"



    *deep breath*


    I am a man and I am a feminist. I have been known to flinch when people close to me make a sudden movement. I do this because I have been physically and emotionally abused by someone close to me. Not because I'm any less of a man. Jonah Goldberg can go get hit by a fucking truck. I'm so angry I can hardly breathe.

    ReplyDelete
  142. magnolialover9:21 PM

    I am actually kind of happy to see that Goldberg writes just like a comment board right wing troll. All the while further insulting gay people, because, you know those gay guys aren't masculine. At all.

    What a waste of space this man is.

    ReplyDelete
  143. TGuerrant10:05 PM

    This is why Kim du Toit needs to button his captain's uniform back on and return to the bridge of Battleship Pussification! Lesser pundits lack the bravura to command the flagship issue of ConservativeThought.

    ReplyDelete
  144. TGuerrant10:09 PM

    We have awesome power over them because we are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Eli Rabett11:01 PM

    What does Goldberg do when this guy shows up at his door and punches him in the nose?

    ReplyDelete
  146. Budbear11:03 PM

    Yep...Pretty much.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Budbear11:06 PM

    Nah... he'd just go running to his mommy. She knows how to do the dirty work.

    ReplyDelete
  148. JennOfArk11:10 PM

    Sh-a-a-a-a-a-a-rt

    ReplyDelete
  149. redoubt11:16 PM

    This is the essence of Meganism

    Aggressive ignorance. (Hell, that applies to damn near all of them.)

    ReplyDelete
  150. Spaghetti Lee11:20 PM

    If it could be any slimier, consider how many of these guys love concern-trolling violence-against-women articles by noting that men are abused too! Well, here's fartass, saying that any man abused by a woman is by definition a joke. If the 'anti-misandry activists' on NRO actually noticed this and realized Jonah and co. are not their friends, that'd be great. Never gonna happen, of course, because MRA-ism is just a bunch of gussied-up reasons for hating women as opposed to defending the interests of men in any worthwhile way.

    ReplyDelete
  151. FlipYrWhig11:25 PM

    Jonah Goldberg is Mark Sanchez?

    ReplyDelete
  152. redoubt11:27 PM

    How else would Fartfumble have its own Wikipedia entry?

    ReplyDelete
  153. philadelphialawyer11:31 PM

    "If you try to play out the life of Pajama Boy in your mind, he probably has a girlfriend. It's just that she's wearing the pants in the relationship, as they used to say. I picture her like Sarah Silverman in School of Rock or the girlfriend at the beginning of Office Space who everyone knows is cheating on Peter"
    Wow, he's either gay or he's a hetero male who has either a fem dom, merely bitchy, or just assertive girlfriend. Cuz those are like, totally, almost the exact same thing!

    ReplyDelete
  154. philadelphialawyer11:35 PM

    She never heard of Occam's razor, I guess.
    Sometimes a pajama is just a pajama, Megs.

    ReplyDelete
  155. philadelphialawyer11:53 PM

    Exactly right, IMHO, and that's where that business about his mean/cheating/"she wears the pants" girlfriend. If the guy has a GF, well then it is a pretty good bet that he isn't gay. The real issue, to Jonah and his ilk, is not so much gay or not gay or assertive gf or not, but not living up to stereotyped versions of masculinity. Jonah sure as hell doesn't. Most men, let's face it, don't and never did. But the Jonahs of the world still believe in them, They THINK that men should be like John Wayne on steroids. And that there is a problem if they don't. And since they themselves don't, that makes them insecure. Which they then try to compensate for by pointing to a guy who fits the bill, arguably at least, even less then they do..."hey look at that faggoty guy, hey look at that pussy whipped guy...Ha, Ha HA!"
    I doubt Jonah is gay. I'm pretty sure he is attracted to women. But he is afraid he is not "man enough," and so he fears women, especially assertive women like the fictional ones he mentioned. They might "expose" him as not sufficiently masculine. And the less subordinated the woman, the less likely she is to pretend that Jonah is like John Wayne. That's how Jonah, in his heart of hearts, sees it, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  156. philadelphialawyer12:05 AM

    MRAs are their own worst enemies. They can't take the "men are abused domestically" fact and turn that into something rational and positive, like advocating that such men should be given help and protection. No, that approach would be too "liberal," it would be emulating the despised feminists. Rather, while they cite such men for their own purposes, they actually hate them, and think that through their very "weakness" they are hindering the return of the patriarchy, or some such thing. Rather than use the tools available in a liberal society, like the feminists before them have done (as have GLBTs and African Americans, Latinos and Latinas, Native Americans, etc), they purport to want to destroy liberal society, and somehow think they can force a reversion to a pre liberal, traditionalist state of affairs. Good luck with that!

    ReplyDelete
  157. philadelphialawyer12:09 AM

    You did ramble a bit, lol! :), but your main point was right on. Jonah is afraid he is not man enough. He's not "secretly gay, "what he is is not so secretly insecure and self loathing.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Origami_Isopod12:12 AM

    I am really sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  159. smut clyde12:13 AM

    To be fair, she is paid in Dunning-Krugerrands.

    ReplyDelete
  160. philadelphialawyer12:14 AM

    As a hetero guy who could easily have been mistaken for pajama boy when I was younger, I can tell you that actually trying to act and look and talk and think "like a man," under the old school definition you mention, is exhausting beyond conception. How liberating it is to let it go and just be yourself.
    Jonah, sadly for him, and for everyone he comes into contact with, is still trying, in his own way. And his way is the way of "I'm not the faggiest guy in the bunch" ploy. "Go beat that guy up, Mr. Bully, he's even less masculine than I am!"

    ReplyDelete
  161. philadelphialawyer12:20 AM

    I agree with most of that, but I really don't think it has much to do with actually convincing liberal women of anything. I think it is more just to placate their own fear of being the weakest and most vulnerable man in the group. As long as liberal men are around (with their "this is is what a feminist looks like" t shirts), the Johahs think their own failure to live up to the masculine creed they claim to follow is less noticeable. They are afraid of liberal women, and look to find submissive, traditional women, if they can. In Jonah's case, I see it more that such women populate his fantasy life as opposed to liberal women.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Tehanu12:47 AM

    Yes, let's not forget that until Beau Brummell, about 1805, men were just as peacocky as women. It was Brummell who introduced the idea of perfect tailoring in plain dark colors, no jewelry, no 3-inch red heels on your shoes, no tassels on your cane. Brain bleach alert: just imagine Jonah with a codpiece. Ewwwwww.

    ReplyDelete
  163. smut clyde12:50 AM

    It is fortunate that you only use your Jedi mind powers for good.

    ReplyDelete
  164. jcricket1:53 AM

    Goldberg isn't worth the hyperventilation or the hypoventilation (spellcheck tells me that is not a real word). He has never been in contact with real people or real life. He even came in second place next to a semen stain on a blue dress when his own mother had to make a Sophie's Choice.


    Forget what he wrote and move on with your healing.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  165. jcricket1:59 AM

    Jonah Goldberg. The same Johan Goldberg who came in second place to a semen stained blue dress when his mother had to make a Sophie's choice?


    Enough said.

    ReplyDelete
  166. BadExampleMan2:11 AM

    Adrienne Barbeau, reprising her cameo role as an abusive, incestuous child pornographer from this past season of Sons of Anarchy.

    ReplyDelete
  167. stepped_pyramids2:31 AM

    Thanks. I always knew he was an idiot but I never realized what a callous shit he was.

    ReplyDelete
  168. stepped_pyramids2:31 AM

    Thanks. I feel weird talking about it, but this shit is just unbelievable.

    ReplyDelete
  169. AngryWarthogBreath4:39 AM

    That bit caught my eye. "Being a complete tool" apparently means "ensuring any consequences" or otherwise going further than "aww c'mon Jonah give the fagmotrons a break".

    ReplyDelete
  170. RHWombat5:19 AM

    Greetings, Professor Rabett. Jenn is absolutely correct.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Zair Mail7:21 AM

    Perform a survey or research to test in the
    things which are actually appealing to your own recipients, before you deliver
    your direct mail advertising letter.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Oh, yes, Obama the limp-wrist, throws like a girl. Can't do hoops, either. Hm-m, 2-foot lift, little fadeaway, eyes on the prize. Yep, total fag.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Derelict8:12 AM

    Let's all give Jonanism a hand!

    ReplyDelete
  174. Derelict8:25 AM

    . . . The vagina is still the most disgusting and horrifying thing on the planet earth . . .


    The other thing about the vagina that enrages them is that they're not getting any and they just can't figure out why.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Derelict8:29 AM

    Or, alternatively, he's an actor/model who who is working as a professional in his field--and the role of the moment is to pose in pajamas with a cup of cocoa. Tomorrow it will be to wear a lab coat and hold a clipboard while standing in front of a studio backdrop.


    In other words, the man's a capitalist exchanging a valued service (acting/modeling) for money.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Derelict8:33 AM

    CNN senior management is a group of shut-ins, clueless about the real world but desperate to make the bully-boys of the Right stop calling CNN part of the liberal media. Hence hiring such noted conservative analysts (or anal cysts) as Erickson, Gingrich, and Matalin.

    ReplyDelete
  177. fartiste is just an urban partisan

    ReplyDelete
  178. XeckyGilchrist10:41 AM

    It's the "Party of Personal Responsibility" defense.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Mr. Wonderful11:00 AM

    And, as I've said here--well, somewhere; maybe Susan O'Texas' place--she blithely (note only known proper use of "blithely") leaps from being-hired-because-she-knows-one-thing, to presuming-anything-she-"knows"-is-worth-writing. Why should an economics blogger be listened to w/ regard to cooking or "how advertising works"? Because she's paid to write about something!

    ReplyDelete
  180. Mr. Wonderful11:02 AM

    Same strokes for same folks, IOW.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Ellis Weiner11:05 AM

    Wouldn't that explain a lot?

    ReplyDelete
  182. glennisw11:16 AM

    The Right wing has given up the fight to repeal the ACA, and has moved on to the next campaign - demonising advertising models.

    Seriously, these assholes always need someone to dump on and they always dump down. What kind of asshole so needs to validate himself that he dumps on the people who make a living posing for commercials that happen to advertise something they oppose?

    ReplyDelete
  183. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:18 AM

    If you try to play out the life of Pajama Boy in your mind...

    ...you're already bored so far out of your mind there's no getting back in. But do you really have to bore everyone else in the known universe with this shit?

    ReplyDelete
  184. glennisw11:20 AM

    And the right wing, having had little success battling the ACA , has decided to fight the fight it knows it can win - the destruction of a fictional advertising persona.

    ReplyDelete
  185. TGuerrant11:22 AM

    There would be an angry swan without feathers following Sir Jonah wherever he went.

    ReplyDelete
  186. glennisw11:23 AM

    Brilliant, Mr. Quark! You've uncovered our plan!

    ReplyDelete
  187. TGuerrant11:25 AM

    Why haven't the Pajamas Media mewlers complained about copyright infringement?

    ReplyDelete
  188. TGuerrant11:28 AM

    I support his self-loathing fully.

    ReplyDelete
  189. M. Krebs11:33 AM

    Megan McArdle, Though Leader 2nd Class, reporting for duty!

    ReplyDelete
  190. "Sorry... I'm on a deadline."

    Jonah continues:

    "But perhaps one of my interns would enjoy a manly contest of fisticuffs, provided the rules are manly enough. Have your second contact my second concerning the establishment of said manly rules, which above all will feature absolutely no hitting in the face."

    ReplyDelete
  191. Magatha11:45 AM

    And every time they think about the vagina they are forced to remember that before they came out of one, they didn't exist, they weren't here, and that reminds them that one day they are gonna die and not exist any more. So to certain scared, warped people, vagina means (or OMG causes) initial helplessness and inevitable mortality. It's a kind of delusional quasi-PTSD. And here I am walking around in constant possession of one. Fear me, blah blah blah.

    ReplyDelete
  192. LittlePig11:47 AM

    "I write life stories for every model in the Macy's catalog"

    That came out in Barry Manilow's voice in my head, followed immediately by

    "I style my kitties hair and dress up my dog"

    ReplyDelete
  193. LittlePig11:59 AM

    'Cause That's What Brian Boitano'd Do!

    ReplyDelete
  194. LittlePig12:04 PM

    Please. Jonah crafts only the finest fartisan products.

    ReplyDelete
  195. Here he is...

    http://s11.postimg.org/9jda5h94j/jonah_goldberg_text.png
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  196. "He just wants the grownups to admire him."
    If so, then he is barking to the wrong crowd. No adults there.

    ReplyDelete
  197. And if I may continue:


    I'm so out of it that I had to Google "Pajama Boy Ad" to find out what the hell everyone was talking about, and when I did, I felt like dope-slapping whoever came up with it. To be seriously non-funny for a moment, Obamacare will not work if the "Young Invincibles" don't sign on. To convince them to do this, they have to be made to realize that they are not actually invincible, and a guy sitting all snug in his pajamas sipping whatthehell ever that is will not accomplish that. The yoots between the ages of 26 (when they can still be covered by their parents) and their early thirties (when, hopefully, they can be getting established in a career) are admittedly mostly healthy, but they can still develop unforeseen illnesses as well as seriously damaging accidents, and this is exactly why they should not be encouraged to be satisfied with some kind of sucker policy with a $10,000 deductible and a half million dollar lifetime cap, no matter how cheap... er... "economical" it is. The ad needed young, healthy people doing sports and things, and demonstrating why the their feelings of invulnerability are an illusion. That said, Jonah, Megan, and the rest of the conservative menagerie deserve every beating they get. Please continue...

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  198. Mr. Wonderful12:28 PM

    A funereal mood on a conservative cruise: Please, Christopher Guest, Rob Reiner, Terry Gilliam--add whatever plot and romance points you need, but SOMEBODY make this movie.

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