Wednesday, April 24, 2013


A lot of what the brethren have written about Boston has been deranged, but leave it to PJ Media/NewYork Post blowhard Michael Walsh to raise the bar. In this emission, his point is that with last week's lockdown the "pusillanimous toads... Gov. Deval Patrick and Mayor Mumbles Menino" had the city "cowering in fear" when they should have sent all Boston's able-bodied citizens out to shoot up the suspect and whatever got between him and them, or something equally butch.

There's plenty that's stupid and offensive in this, but connoisseurs will appreciate this bit about the 2004 Beslan school massacre, which Peters offers as a preferable model:
Note that, when the Russian military finally stormed the school, they were accompanied by armed residents of the village, desperate to save their children. In typical ham-handed Russian fashion, the former Soviets managed to kill almost as many people as they saved — but the point is they fought back.
Much better than last Friday's result, which was casualty-free as well as successsful, but without honor.

Sometimes I wonder if Walsh is just one of Col. Ralph Peters' secret identities.


  1. Didn't this idiot see Mad Mad Mad Mad World?

  2. Obviously a fan of Keyser Söze's policy regarding terrorist threats against family members.

  3. sharculese6:53 PM

    Was it directed by Michael Bay? Then no.

  4. I'm all in favor of any policy that encourages gun fetishists to wander the street while the cops are in all-out-freakout mode. Bonus points if they fire off a few rounds every now and then, just to let folks know they're friendly. ;)

  5. Spaghetti Lee6:57 PM

    Sometimes I wonder if Walsh is just one of Col. Ralph Peters' secret identities.

    I'd say another military figure is more likely: "When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission!"

  6. montag27:01 PM

    Well, wouldn't surprise me, since Walsh and Peters have exactly the same amount of combat/streetfighting experience.

  7. In this emission, his point is that with last week's lockdown the
    "pusillanimous toads... Gov. Deval Patrick and Mayor Mumbles Menino" had
    the city "cowering in fear"...

    As opposed to the Republican response of calling for the repeal of our civil rights after being attacked by two dumbasses, which is totally the opposite of cowering in fear.

  8. tigrismus7:16 PM

    the former Soviets managed to kill almost as many people as they saved — but the point is they fought back

    So sorry not enough folks died for you. Perhaps you can die in a fire and up the count a bit for your satisfaction.

  9. bulletsarepeopletoo7:25 PM

    So how come none of these guys showed up in Boston to join the manhunt - there was plenty of time between the bomb going off and the shootout. Also the trigger-happy LAPD would have loved to have these guys running around with their AR-15s during the hunt for Christopher Dorner; better than shooting at delivery people who couldn't be bothered to shoot back. Actually I'm betting that if this happened in Walsh's neighborhood, he'd be demanding around the clock police protection while holed up in his bathroom.

  10. Tudor Jennings7:28 PM

    I _was_ going to bother to post a good reason why Peters' suggestion was a fucking stoopid idea.
    But then I saw that Peters managed to do it himself. The fucking schizoid bell-end.

  11. Tudor Jennings7:34 PM

    And I bet he only ever played as Ken or Guile. The uber-patriotic bastard.


  12. BTW, followed the Ralph Peters link and ran across this gem from 2003:

    Best Frum line from that:

    "The solution to their problems is not reform, and it is certainly not self-criticism. It is a return to the fundamentals of the faith -- and war against the unbelievers."

    It's like pre-hoc projection of the GOP circa 2013...

  13. Jay B.7:56 PM

    They didn’t “shelter in place” (what an odious, bloodless phrase for enforced institutional cowardice), hiding behind locked doors; they got up, got their guns, and finally did something to rid themselves of the aliens in their midst. For they knew — with the example of the Moscow theater crisis fresh in everybody’s minds [NOTE: where the Russians managed to kill 40 of the hostage takers AND 130 of the hostages -- I mean could anyone plausibly imagine if something like that happened in the US? It'd be like Waco, while adding in the audience of the Boston Pops] — that there was no way this atrocity could end any way but bloodily. They wanted to get their licks in, and die like men instead of dumb beasts waiting for the slaughter.

    This is the stupidest thing ever written. It makes me almost blank with rage. Sure, there's a labor-intensive way to limit casualties, and try and bring in a potentially important source of intelligence alive, but wouldn't it be way fucking cool if a bunch of hillbillies just started shootin' first and asking questions later?

    UPDATE: If you’re interested in how we might react to a Beslan-style attack on one of our own schools, and how it might be taken down, that’s the subject of my first “Devlin” novel, Hostile Intent.

    I'm not, you fucking hillbilly, but lemme guess, the 6-year olds bum rush the fuckers?

  14. smut clyde8:08 PM

    I'm sure the remake has been greenlighted by now.

  15. smut clyde8:12 PM

    typical ham-handed Russian fashion

    Needs better national stereotyping: ham doesn't feature so much in Russian cuisine. "Borscht-handed Russian fashion" perhaps? "Pirozhki-fisted"?

  16. montag28:16 PM

    You're right--it's bone-jarringly stupid. But, the interesting part is the fanfic solution cum self-promotion. Fiction is simply no longer enough to satisfy--the only emotionally satisfying resolution to the problem is to make life conform to... well, to "art" is probably stretching the term past its breaking point. That it's his own fiction he's advocating is just rubbing sand in one's mind's eye.

    The blurring of reality and fantasy is strong in this one.

  17. Paul M8:29 PM

    I -- as a Boston native and congenitally cop averse -- am very proud of the fucking Boston cops.

  18. parsec8:30 PM

    The rescue attempt was unsuccessful but the hostages died honorably from the friendly fire?

  19. Paul M8:35 PM

    Bonus points for use of the criminally under-employed appellation "bell-end."

  20. satch8:39 PM

    Oooh, Mikey, LOVE your picture next to your byline... you are one hunka MAN!!! Walsh is a man with many faces, doncha know One is definitely Ralph Peters. Another is Ann "She [Tamerlan Tsarnyaev's wife} should be in prison for wearing a hijab... Did she get a cliterectomy, too?" Coulter.

  21. sophronia8:42 PM

    I'm sorry. I just cannot. The Beslan terrorist attack resulted in over 300 dead, 186 of them schoolchildren, and the live capture of one (1) out of the estimated 30 to 40 attackers. And this guy thinks it went better than the Watertown manhunt, because all that gore made him hard.

    You know how people say they only care about the unborn, and once you're out of the womb you're meat? Well, look no further for proof. The fact that someone proudly published this abomination under what I presume is his real name makes me sick.

  22. calling all toasters8:42 PM

    I'll give him this much: he knows his core audience is bored with the slowness and low body count of traditional lynching. That shit went out with tail fins and Burma Shave.

  23. Jay B.8:55 PM

    That's so true. Something like that was rattling around in my head, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It's like engineering space flights based on what Anthony Clarke wrote.

    A bonus stomach-churning quote: So congratulations, Boston. In a state with some of the “toughest” gun laws in the country – and by “toughest” I mean unconstitutionally restrictive — a legislature completely controlled by Democrats and a congressional delegation that includes a grand total of zero Republicans, it was somehow not surprising that the Chechens chose one of the few places in the United States where a) the people could not and would not fight back and b) the media would find them sympathetic.

    None of that makes any fucking sense, of course. And makes me want to knee him in the balls.

    Meanwhile in gun-drenched downstate Illinois.... I feel a little dirty pointing out that 3 people died in the bombing, two by gun shots (one an officer, one a probable bomber and cop killer who was firing at cops) and 170 or so are alive after getting excellent medical care. 5 people, including two FUCKING CHILDREN were murdered by some fuck with a gun. Oh, and a six-year old girl was injured by the same fuck with a gun. The same body count, only 1 injured person living after the attack.

  24. redoubt8:57 PM

    I'm betting he did exactly that, from 150 miles away in Lakeville, Connecticut, in exactly the place and position you said, with crap coming from both ends. (Hey, inspiration has to come from somewhere.)

  25. redoubt8:59 PM

    "Stalingrad fashion": one pile of rubble at a time.

  26. Jay B.9:01 PM


  27. I heard the Chechen Bros thought about leaving where they actually live and driving 1500 miles to some fucking turd-burg in West Texass to blow up a fertilizer plant in a town with about a dozen rednecks living there, but the possibility that those rednecks might shoot at them kept them in Boston.

    And it looks like they didn't have to after all, once the rednecks blew themselves up.

  28. Strider9:23 PM

    I like how it never seems to cross his mind that maybe they chose this event to attack because it's a pretty major public event in the city that they happened to live in.

    I seriously have no idea how someone could possibly write something this dumb.

  29. Shorter Walsh: "Say what you want about commie pinkos, they sure know how to hold a massacre."

  30. In typical ham-handed Russian fashion, the former Soviets managed to
    kill almost as many people as they saved — but the point is they fought


  31. Heart, shart...we all make mistakes.

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  33. BigBuck10:19 PM

    What massive stupidity. My Dog!

  34. M. Krebs10:20 PM

    And note the Limbaughesque cigar. Also, don't miss the "author's bio." It's a riot.

  35. In typical ham-handed Russian fashion, the former Soviets managed to kill almost as many people as they saved — but the point is they fought back.

    Gotta love the logic. Hmmm, where have we heard it before?

    "In typical ham-handed neocon fashion, the former Bush administration managed to kill almost as many people as they "liberated" in Iraq - but the point is they fought back...." [against innocent people who hadn't attacked us]

    "In typical ham-handed Republican fashion, the former Bush administration managed to destroy almost more jobs than they created - but the point is they fought back.... [against sensible regulations they claimed would hurt the economy]

    The Republican credo: Destroy things and get terrible results because it feels good.

  36. mortimer10:28 PM

    The knee-jerk armchair commando comments to his post are all too predictable, but then so is Walsh (just like his doppel, Peters). But I did like this bit:
    I live in Boston but will be leaving as soon as possible after the cower-in-place fiasco. This is not the culture in which I want to raise my children.

    See, he's going to teach his kids how to be brave and courageous by leaving. The fun part is that the Boston "lockdown" was entirely voluntary. There was no state of emergency. He, and anyone else, could have been out struttin' and huntin' as much as they wanted.

  37. Harry Rumbold10:42 PM

    "Did you ever see a Chechen drinking water, Mandrake?"

  38. BigHank5310:57 PM

    If it doesn't contain obstensible high school students shouting "Wolverines!" then it isn't even a real movie, is it?

  39. tigrismus11:02 PM

    I live in Boston but will be leaving as soon as possible after the cower-in-place fiasco.

    Oh, so the shame of the title is his own, then. I thought it was a little fervent.

  40. Aw jeez... I kinda liked "As Time Goes By". Unfortunately, after tragically contracting David Mamet Syndrome, his higher cognitive functions have been sliding downhill since 1998.

  41. M. Krebs11:12 PM

    Thing is, when Schrub was President these clowns were perfectly willing to stock up on duct tape and cower under their beds when the alert level turned orange. So something must be different now. If only i could put my finger on it.

  42. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:12 PM

    Being a human being, with human feelings, I would have to say that saving innocents is more important than killing the guilty. Where the hell does the sort of bloodlust that Walsh is peddling come from?

  43. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:15 PM

    They traded in the Bush era color chart for a new color chart, and for them, the threat level color code is "BLACK".

  44. M. Krebs11:15 PM

    Toilet training?

  45. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:16 PM

    "My shart will go O-O-O-O-NNN!!!"

  46. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:23 PM

    They wanted to get their licks in, and die like men instead of dumb beasts waiting for the slaughter.

    It wasn't a matter of dying like men instead of dumb beasts waiting for the slaughter, it was a matter of causing the massacre of school children in a dumb, berserker style frontal assault, or using every technique available to prevent the wholesale slaughter of little kids.

    I guess the only consolation in this whole fucked up melodrama is that, when the Tealiban decides to go all "WOLVERINES!!!" and shit, Michael Walsh is going to get a lot of traitorous 'baggers killed before they can do much harm.

  47. Tehanu11:30 PM

    I thought it was, In your guts you know he's nuts.

  48. AGoodQuestion11:33 PM

    Side note: Does Walsh have any idea how very phallic that stogie in the PJ Media header pic looks? Somehow I don't think so.

  49. AGoodQuestion11:39 PM

    Maybe he should write Dzhokar Tsarnaev a thank-you note for giving him a chance to plug his shitty thriller novel.

  50. Wait, was that the re-imagining that has Rick Blaine provoking a firefight with Nazi troops in his crowded nightclub? Because only liberal wusses would think that singing a song counted as fighting back.

  51. Biographer of Andrew Lloyd Webber, no less.

  52. Wow, that comment dovetails well with Walsh's take on Russian hostage rescue methods.

    "This culture of cowering is not the one in which I want to raise my children."

    "Wasn't the lockdown actually voluntary?"

    "Well, that's the point. The citizenry here are so meek and biddable, they complied automatically with the left-wing government authorities."

    "But since it was voluntary, why didn't you go outside?"

    "Are you crazy? I could have been shot."

  53. Pussies. The preferred model is the LAPD, who aren't afraid to let a little lead fly.

  54. Chris Anderson12:09 AM

    Shart, indeed. The whole Bush admin is like when you mean to fart, but shit your pants. I'd sheepishly go clean up, but lots of folks figure they should vigorously spin the situation.

  55. Also, this Boston resident really didn't realize until now that the area is not currently known for its bands of semiautomatic-toting vigilantes roaming the streets in open defiance of law enforcement and government officials?

    "I used to be a Ted Kennedy supporter, but ever since the marathon bomber manhunt, I'm offended by Chappaquiddick."

  56. Oh, come on, AGQ. Remember what Freud said: "Sometimes a cigar is just being chewed on by a psychopathic dumbshit."

  57. Haystack12:32 AM

    Let's cabbage roll!!

  58. Provider_UNE12:54 AM

    I think I might have found a new niche in parsing the first couple of sentences of a wingnut screed and maybe up to the first paragraph, for theses days, it seems all I can take.

    Enough with all the chest-thumping, mingled with manly tears, about the
    dramatic end of the Marathon bombers’ reign of terror in Boston last
    week. I don't even know wher to begin as my gob has been spackled all over the wall.

    From the press coverage, you’d think the entire city (which is actually rather small) rose up as one and smote two evil Chechens a stunning blow for truth, justice, liberty and the American Way. Nothing could be further from the truth. Again, nothing, though feeling a bit like my brains have been added to the spackling, yet if you follow the link you find the following regarding Putins response to Breslan

    The Russian president, Vladimir Putin, last night refused to order a
    public inquiry into how the Beslan school was captured by gunmen and
    then ended with such a high death toll, and told the Guardian that
    people who call for talks with Chechen leaders have no conscience.

    don't you meet Osama bin Laden, invite him to Brussels or to the White
    House and engage in talks, ask him what he wants and give it to him so
    he leaves you in peace? Why don't you do that?" he said with searing

    "You find it possible to set some limitations in your
    dealings with these bastards, so why should we talk to people who are

    "No one has a moral right to tell us to talk to childkillers," he added.

    me if I'm wrong, but Margaret Thatcher, whom I've met more than once
    said: 'A man who comes out into the street to kill other people must
    himself be killed'," he told the Guardian.

    That a Wingnut chooses to lionize an ex KGB member, Communist party member by invoking the brilliance of a "body count" is telling indeed.

    Humans, I fucking tell you, are very overrated members of the animal kingdom (at least the versions extant in the last 10 to 15 thousand years).

  59. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard1:06 AM

    See it? He's living it!

  60. Tudor Jennings1:36 AM

    Just walk it off, boyo.

  61. but the point is they fought back.

    I wish there was a way all these chickenhawks could take themselves out without dragging anyone else with them.

  62. Another Kiwi2:58 AM

    but the point is they fought back As did the brave Fallujahns?

  63. Spaghetti Lee3:19 AM

    "Hey guys-there's a Muslim down at the compressed hydrogen tank factory! Better get lots of guns!"

  64. smut clyde3:50 AM

    We destroyed the village BUT WE DID SAVE IT.

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  66. AngryWarthogBreath6:48 AM

    And, you know, one of the almost-certainly-guilty has been killed, the other is in custody in very bad shape and almost certainly going to get a guilty verdict and, most likely, the death penalty. Which gives us saving innocents, with a remarkably low (though still tragic) death toll, and killing the guilty.

    I don't even particularly want to kill people, but it's obviously important to him.

    I understand "better to die on your feet than live on your knees", but I don't understand "better to die on your feet than to kneel for maybe five minutes and then get back on your feet and live on your feet".

  67. Derelict7:36 AM

    As always, in the cartoon world in which they live, conservatives like Walsh know that evil always wears the bright-color uniforms, and it's always a bad shot. So, onward citizen soldiers! No worries about putting a stray round through that sleeping baby! And granny shoulda know'd to shelter in place where 7.62 NATO rounds wouldn't penetrate too far.

  68. And a classical-music critic. He certainly has a lot to overcompensate for (cf Steyn, Mark; Nerdlinger, Jay).

  69. BigHank537:58 AM

    For the first time in my life, I actually feel sorry for a cigar.

  70. I may be wrong, but these conservatives who bang on about Bostonians all "cowering" behind closed doors don't seem to imagine rational human beings--let's call them "free citizens"--saying to themselves, "Yes,I understand why the governor, the mayor and the cops want me to stay indoors, not just for my own safety but also so the cops won't have to deal with a million other distractions while they look for the bad guys."

    Given this, I did have a problem with the media using the term "lockdown," which is what happens during a prison riot, but that doesn't matter at this point.

  71. Fortunately, it's Texas, so there's a guns-and-ammo shop right next door.

  72. Most conservatives fail to connect their Red Dawn fantasies of "Wolverines!" with actual Iraqis yelling their battle cry. This always confuses me.

  73. tigrismus9:15 AM

    "better to die on your feet than to kneel for maybe five minutes and then get back on your feet and live on your feet"

    It's not even kneeling, though; taking cover in a fucking shootout is not cowardly or servile, it's smart.

  74. MikeJ9:15 AM

    I know an Irish bar or two in Boston where we can tell him to order a black & tan.

  75. "Once you get there, you'll be living with family just outside Idaho Falls."

    "Could our relatives relocate to Cambridge, Massachusetts instead? They have ... stricter gun laws." [MALEVOLENT CHUCKLE]

  76. satch9:43 AM

    "Perhaps you have already observed that in the Wingnuttosphere, human life is cheap."

  77. Halloween_Jack9:59 AM

    I think that it comes from the same place as the popularity of all those zombie movies and comics comes from: the burning desire of some people for a problem that they can shoot. And, even if it's a problem that can't simply be shot down--the cops that were chasing Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and his brother had plenty of guns, and Dzhokhar still managed to evade them for hours--they like to pretend that it should be.

  78. tigrismus11:02 AM

    Wait, how is this different from every other day?

  79. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:07 AM

    It's funny, the last time those conservative Southern he-men went up against New England liberals, the end result was an unconditional surrender. It's a pity Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis weren't hanged as traitorous dogs.

  80. Mr. Wonderful11:07 AM

    I'm sorry (i.e., I'm not sorry), but I don't think any other comments in this thread can be this funny. We can try, but...

  81. reallyaimai11:08 AM

    This is addressed on the Michael Walsh thread at NRO where everyone in Boston is simultaneously convicted of "cowering" and also "shirking" their duty to find this kid--including the boat owner who was apparently prevented by the police from finding the kid because he was sheltering in place. I guess you might argue that if one were certain of the ID of the kid and certain that no one could have been mistaken for him, and certain he were hiding in an insular community where everyone knows everyone else, that he might have been found sooner if everyone were just out walking around having a regular business day. But there's plenty of evidence from...oh...history that one or two other people would have been mistakenly shot in the process.

  82. Mr. Wonderful11:12 AM

    ...or I would be leaving as soon as possible, but my kid's in the 10th grade production of Barefoot in the Park, my wife has this whole bakeoff for charity deal coming up (don't ask!), and the housing market is down. At least it is in my house. But eventually, make no mistake, I am outa here.

  83. Mr. Wonderful11:20 AM

    It comes from authentic stupidity, silly BBBB. Also from the usual wingnut combination platter of unself-awareness, adolescent sexual insecurity prompting macho posturing, a desire for a display of tribal allegiance, and kneejerk anti-liberalism. Or substitute rank Republican hypocrisy at no extra charge.

  84. Mr. Wonderful11:24 AM

    --if, by "a shop right next door," you mean "in my front hall closet, just behind the kids' Slip-n-Slide and all those damn umbrellas we seem to be collecting."

  85. Mr. Wonderful11:28 AM

    But retitled to "It's an Angry, Angry, Angry, Angry World, So Let's You and Him Have a Firefight."

  86. sharculese12:37 PM

    Wait wingnuts get to live in the Archerverse? Because that is Unfair.

  87. sharculese12:39 PM

    you should see a doctor about that

  88. Anonymous1:37 PM

    And Ouya, which is about the size of a Rubik's cube. Then came the ultra-popular Arkham games, that place you, like never before, into Batman's shoes as he skulks around and knocks hoodlums heads together (literaly).
    It can go as far as ruining their experience since it is the last interaction they have with a game.

    My page;

  89. Borscht-handed

    Suitable for administering epic beetdowns.

  90. tim1173:20 PM

    Sometimes the stupidity of the Right surprises me. Walsh doesn't realize the people of Boston were being sheltered FROM the cops, not from the terrorists. As we saw last year at the Empire state Building and a couple of months ago in LA, people who are armed and afraid like to shoot their guns. For god sake, they lit up Watertown last Thursday night against two guys with a couple of grenades and a 9 mm between them. On Friday, they fired upon a injured kid, sans gun, in a boat.

    And, dang it, I don't really blame them. But, it's the people of Boston of were in danger by the "small army" roaming the streets. Mr. Second Amendment is entirely too stupid to know that?

  91. Kurzleg3:20 PM

    That is a great point!

  92. What? I was just presuming that most of us here are philosophically sophisticated, and able to recognize the Zen behind the concept of one hand gliding, IYKWIMAITYD ...Shit! There I go again. Hey, over there, is that an Elvis impersonator who knows reflexology?


    Hang on, that was a gingko supplement.

  93. I, uh, actually meant "guns-and-ammo shop right next door to a compressed hydrogen tank factory," because that seemed topical. But please, tell me more about your hall closet.

  94. Al Swearengen3:46 PM

    Only fertilizer factory owners get to blow up Texas!

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  96. smut clyde4:53 PM

    One end of the bell distribution, indeed.

  97. smut clyde4:56 PM

    Authoritarians. You know they are going to rally around Putin.

  98. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard5:55 PM

    He is a lawman, he knows what he's talking about.

  99. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard6:00 PM

    It didn't last more than four hours, so I didn't see the need.

  100. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard6:02 PM

    "What is the sound of one hand fapping?" is not a suitable koan.

  101. smut clyde6:25 PM

    Why didn't ITTDGY inform us earlier??

  102. Define "optimal."

  103. reallyaimai8:17 PM

    I LoL'd. I think gingko must be one of those inherently funny words that S.J. Perleman believed in using, like Kapok, Mackintosh, Kiwaniis, etc...

  104. Sentiments such as Walsh's seem to be going around the Right--see for instance Roger Kimball's latest effusion. They really seem invested in the idea of an armed citizen mob taking the law into its own hands. I fully expect a defense of lynching to run in the National Review or the New Criterion before the year is out.

  105. JennOfArk10:00 PM

    But they can strike with deadly force and lightning speed from the fetal position.

  106. Jeffrey_Kramer10:02 PM

    Yeah, if they'd tried to pull that shit in Florida, The People would have taken one look at the turned-around baseball caps and blown them away before they could put their backpacks down. If they had been black.

  107. This whole wingnut meme about "cowering" New England liberals is really fucking pissing me off. Some of the most stone courageous people I have ever known in my life, people whose judgment and skills I would trust implicitly in any life-threatening situation, happen to be New England liberals. Courage does not come out of the barrel of a gun.

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  109. I fully expect a defense of lynching to run in the National Review ... before the year is out.

    Surely you meant re-run in the National Review.