David P. Goldman's Trump-Lincoln comparison last week was pretty hair-raising, but this thing by Rich Cromwell is just shit. It's so bad that I can't really make fun of it, just as you can't catch a fart and pin it down, as the song from The Sound of Goldberg goes. I will mention that Cromwell's is not entirely a friendly comparison: he talks smack about Lincoln's statism, but instead of taking the usual neo-Confederate line about the Woah of No'thun Aggression -- which might get some PC types triggered -- he chides Abe for other, less loaded offenses, like creating the Department of Agriculture. Thus the dummies who usually read The Federalist will go, "see like my stupid grandpa thinks Lincoln was great cuz he freed the slaves but really he's the reason I can't take laetrile to make my boobs bigger," and the Southrons who find it on Google while looking for history texts to take back to their Battle-Flag-draped survivalist treehouse homeschools will go, "nod's as good's a wink, hoss!" Everybody wins.
Here's where Cromwell's prose really shines, in the John Randolph sense:
So maybe Trump hasn’t called for this to be suspended yet, but apparently it’s time to let our imaginations run wild, so let’s do that.
Habeas corpus, Latin for “Yo, we’ve got the body"...Ugh. If you can do anything with this, feel free.
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