TODAY'S ASYLUM TOUR.

The kids at The Federalist are on fire lately, but I know you guys are busy with Christmas shopping and fighting the patriarchy and whatnot, so I boiled down a couple of their recent offerings for you:

2016: The Year The ‘Alt-Right’ Breached The Moral Quarantine On Racism. Robert Tracinski quotes himself on how the alt-right is the left’s fault because they accused less-racist-than-the-alt-right people of racism, sort of like how people who bring charges against burglars are responsible for Bernie Madoff because with their nitpicking they discredit the whole concept of theft. Tracinski is thus able to admit that his own party nominated and elected “a candidate whose entire campaign is penetrated by the Aryan Nation” because it’s neither his fault nor any skin off his ass.

It’s Going To Take Men With Guns To Stop The Suburban Deer Uprising. I’ll just quote John Daniel Davidson’s closing -- you can pretty much reverse-engineer it from there:

In any case, we’d all better get used to hunting and eating more deer. If not, we’d better get used to them crashing through our windows and breaking down our doors. The deer uprising has begun.

Now That Trump Is President, Can The Left Finally See How Much He Has To Offer Us? Sean Lester is a “member of the political left” who chooses to address “my own supposed half of the spectrum” at The Federalist because as the old saying goes, if you’re hunting for ducks you ought to go somewhere where all they ever do is bitch about ducks. Lester reminds liberals that Trump has gay friends, is anti-TPP etc., and not to worry about all his other stated intentions that horrify liberals because he’s “dishonest” (about the horrifying stuff, not gays and TPP — that you can trust him on). And to those worried about Trump’s nightmarish transition and cabinet picks, Lester says, “don’t ignore, however, that he brought on Elon Musk,” so if Trump destroys the planet you might be able to book a SpaceX ticket for Mars.

Dear MTV: Telling White Guys What To Do Just Provokes Racism. The Tranciski article run through the Urban Dictionary filter.

Maybe It’s Time To Redefine What It Means For Women To ‘Have It All.’ Grace Olmsted works, yes, but she’s a good mommy, as you can tell because she talks about how good a mommy she is, not like you bitches and skanks.