OBITCHUARY.

De mortuis nil nisi bonum and all that, but this isn't so much about Nancy Reagan as Rhonda Robinson of PJ Media, whose tribute to the former first lady begins,

When Nancy Reagan died, she left a legacy that we can all claim as our own. At least, it's within our grasp if we choose to reach for it.

After some gush about how "completely, unashamedly devoted to her husband" Mrs. Reagan was, Robinson gets to the nut:

She was not famous for the bills she wrote, the laws she passed, or a product or company she created. She did none of those things. She was a wife. Her most noted attribute was her adoring gaze at her husband, a man to whom she devoted her life. In doing so, she committed the ultimate sin against feminism.

[Blink. Blink.]

As someone born at the tail end of the Boomer generation, Nancy stands as a monument in my mind.

Nancy was born at the tail... oh, right, PJ Media -- no editors.

Her life was a stark contrast to everything women in my generation were told was important.

What's that slogan from Our Bodies, Ourselves, again? Oh yeah: "The one who dies with the most abortions wins."

When planning your life, setting your goals and dreams, it's always best to begin at the end. When everyone gathers for your funeral, when your family lines the seats in the front row, what will they say? It's at that moment everyone's legacy will be revealed.

"Jesus, these folding chairs are padded with ermine! She sure was rich. It'll be fun watching her brats fight over it."

...If you're alive enough to read this, you can alter your legacy today. Simply follow Nancy's example and focus on the most important part of your life.

You heard the lady: Move to Hollywood and start sucking cock!