“Fear is the path to the dark side,” said Yoda. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”Then he preaches sweet reason:
You want to win back your country? Here’s how. Fear nothing. Hate no one. Stick to principles. Unchecked borders are dangerous not because Mexicans are evil but because evil thrives when good men don’t stand guard...
These things are true. They’re true for white people and black people, male people and female people, straight people and gay people. We should support the smartest, most proven, most statesmanlike candidate who best represents those principles. And we should do it out of — dare I say the word? — love. Love for our neighbors, our fellow citizens, white and black, male and female, straight and gay.Straight and gay? Forbid it almighty God! Commenters descend like locusts on Klavan -- and that RINO bastard Yoda:
Why would I want to take advice from some pipsqueak who didn't see that his Jedi Council was being manipulated by evil into doing evil things in the name of order, until it was much too late?...
...Yoda's wrong. Frustration leads to anger. I'm not afraid of these lying SOB's at all...Also:
Klavan must have downed a couple of his elitist pills before penning this attack on conservative Americans...
Just like the writers at National Review and Republican politicians, PJ Media writers, like Andrew Klavan want to be loved by their liberal friends...
We don't need to be lectured about things we already know, pal. Out here in what you seem to believe is the backwater idiocracy between Hollywood and DC, we know precisely what Trump is and what he is doing... You and your peers, on the other hand, seem to have let your girlish social ambitions swirl away at your brains. This sort of article isn't about us: it's about you. It's about your preening egos and need to be seen as a certain type of (frankly, faux) conservative who can be accepted in certain circles [nnnngh etc.]...
I am tired of people like Klavan and others calling us idiots for disagreeing with them. I am done reading Klavan and Goldberg. If I wanted to be insulted I could go to some liberal site...The more optimistic of you may be thinking, ha, their Frankenstein's Monster has turned on them! It's tempting to think so, as the Trump phenomenon has become such an obvious embarrassment to the GOP that conservatives are trying to portray Trump as a liberal and his candidacy as good news for Republicans.
But the monster hasn't turned on them, quite -- the brethren are just lumbering around with increasing agitation, as they tend to do in that aimless period between the beginning of a Presidential campaign and the nomination of some douche of whom it can at least be said that he's not a libtard. Other conservative pundits are finding ways to occupy their attention so they won't turn on them -- which perhaps explains the latest Planned Parenthood attack, as it gives their more excitable columnists like Kevin D. Williamson an opportunity to really lay the outrage on thick ("the people who run Planned Parenthood are crooks," "President Barack Obama... is neck-deep in blood," nnngh, etc.). After a few days of that, the punters are spent and ready for a lie-down until it's time to repeat the process with #Benghazi or whatever else turns up on the Wheel of Fortune.
So they haven't lost control yet. But I'll be interested to see how many of their followers will be left after a few more rounds like this one.
Hate no one
ReplyDeleteOh come on. Hate is the Get Out The Vote organ of the GOP. That's about as likely go away as death and Donald Trump.
Their commenter class might the reason they so rarely attempt to be reasonable.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, their outgrope to others remains under-appreciated.
ReplyDelete~
Out here in what you seem to believe is the backwater idiocracy between Hollywood and DC, we know precisely what Trump is and what he is doing...
ReplyDeleteHey, quit trying to pull me into your fucked-up world, you dumb delusional bastard. Do I really need to launch my "The Midwest Is Not Homogenous, You Cheap Fuckwit Propagandist" spiel? Because I've added a few chapters since last time...
Oh, and springboarding off the previous post about conservatives and MRA types: Does anyone else detect a similarity between wingnut commenters replying to every disagreement with "You're only trying to make friends" and MRA commenters replying to every disagreement with "You're only trying to get laid"? Damn, by this point next year the two are going to be indistinguishable.
"After a few days the punters are spent and ready for a lie down...?" I'm getting the feeling that you are trying to tell me something with this metaphor, but as I get closer to understanding it I recoil with horror.
ReplyDeleteThe monster still lives, but his ability to inflict damage on anyone other than the Republican Party declines day by day.
ReplyDeleteBTW brethren, I put up a site for my copywriting & business communications freelancing business. Critiques are welcome; referrals are even more welcome, if you think I might merit them. www.thecopywright.net
“Fear is the path to the dark side,” said Yoda. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
ReplyDeleteSure, sure, that's a good one but I thought this one was funnier:
Chung Mee: "Opium is my business. The bridge mean more traffic. More traffic mean more money. More money mean more power."
Lawrence Bourne III: "Yeah, well, before I commit any of that to memory, would there be anything in this for me?"
Chung Mee: "Speed is important in business. Time is money."
Lawrence Bourne III: "You said opium was money."
Chung Mee: "Money is Money."
Lawrence Bourne III: "Well then, what is time again?"
I'm not saying "Volunteers" was the equivalent of Star Wars when it comes addressing the very serious issue of the cross-border illegal drug trade, but certainly has lot more insight than that little green pipsqueak and (probably illegal) alien Yoda who was totally pw3nd by the Emperor and the liberal elite.
"Why would I want to take advice from some pipsqueak who didn't see that his Jedi Council was being manipulated by evil into doing evil things in the name of order, until it was much too late?"
ReplyDeleteSay what you will about nutpicking the comments, the above is truly a thing of beauty and a joy forever -- Poe's law remains in effect most of the time, but I have a hard time thinking even the most clever satirist would think to make their conservative character a stickler about the moral lessons of the Star Wars prequels.
In the well trodden fields of MRA scholarship it can be hard to make any significant contribution but, by gum, I think you've done it. This:
ReplyDelete"You're only trying to make friends" and MRA commenters replying to every disagreement with "You're only trying to get laid"? Damn, by this point next year the two are going to be indistinguishable.
is a major step forward in our field. Thank you, thank you.
I am tired of people like Klavan and others calling us idiots for disagreeing with them.
ReplyDeleteHe's got you there, fucksticks!
That's a good looking web site.
ReplyDeleteWix is a new one on me, but that's a good lean page and elegant Javascript. 4 stars. Ya done good.
I know, right? I'm torn between 'you realize your pipsqueak definition fits George W. Bush to a tee' and 'Dude, the Empire lost'.
ReplyDeleteThanks, LP! Your employer is on my list to cold-call. So far I've been working on calling all the graphic designers, web developers, and ad agencies. Then I have to start on the big companies & non-profits. I figure 500 calls should net me at least a dozen or more clients (unless everyone thinks my work sucks, anyway). Have made some really good contacts already, so....fingers crossed. If I can pull it off, I can spend the rest of my worklife in my home office wearing my linen "pajamas" and generally enjoying life a lot more doing stuff I like.
ReplyDeleteA large portion of the commentariat is eliminationist, and preaches the killing of liberals for various claims of treason. Anything done, from a change of taxes by a percentage point or two or even merely continuing long standing government policies brings cries of the end of America, the apocalypse, and some sort of feared 'surrender' - to gays, ISIS, Muslims in general, socialists, the UN, fluoridated water, etc.
ReplyDeleteOf course they are outraged by someone suggesting being nice and polite. It is totally contrary to their fantasy of apocalyptic conflict that justifies a bloody revolution,with themselves in the starring role of freedom fighter / George Washington / Nathan Bedford Forrest / Rednecks from Deliverance.
It's the same schtick that lets them say "compromise is capitulation" when it comes to legislating. The Cause (of keeping America safe from the commies, as this is a Cold-War Hangover) is too important to ever give an inch of ground.
ReplyDeleteAnecdote re: Trump's prospects: I broke my fast at a diner in rural Iowa. Four old men (typical Iowans or I'm a monkey) were discussing politics, conservative-style, at the next table over. They worked around to Trump. Verdict - not a single kind word for the Donald. Exact. same. criticisms you'd hear elsewhere. Remember, these were Real Americans (tm), pink with white hair and half of 'em in overalls.
ReplyDeleteWith most candidates I know of or can imagine a constituency, but not Trump. Who the fuck are they? And (r) pols won't endorse him. They may praise him a bit, or refrain from criticism. Unless I've missed someone.
"seem to have let your girlish social ambitions swirl away at your brains"
ReplyDeleteMany of them live and breathe misogyny too. They show contempt for his thought processes by calling them 'girlish.'
"If I wanted to be insulted I could go to some liberal site..."
ReplyDeleteThe Alicuratti: COME ON DOWN!!!
Too bad for the GOP that vast swaths of their electorate feel "Trump is a disgrace! But, you know, everything he's saying, I agree with 100%. And I think he's the only one with the courage to say these things, so he's got my support."
ReplyDeleteThat is a straight quote from my rightwing brother-in-law. He's embarrassed by Trump, but will vote for Trump come primary day. Other rightwing relatives of my echo this sentiment that they agree wholeheartedly with Trump.
As I've written before, Trump is the conservative Id running naked through the fields and dancing joyously through the streets. And while Walker and Bush seem the most likely to win the nomination, Trump has a won huge fraction of the party. (NOTE: The last GOP candidate who was even close this type of thing was Pat Buchanan, who hectored George H.W. Bush mercilessly about the deadly minority of those years--the Haitians.)
"your girlish social ambitions" 'Ya just don't get it. A real man steps on whoever it takes to get ahead, and they aren't motivated by wanting people to like them. Now apologize to Rush Limbaugh for saying mean things about him.'
ReplyDeleteTrump's constituency is 100% uncut Spite Caucus. He's loud and unfiltered and aggressive. They like him because he says things that gravely upset the millennial Brooklyn hippie professor-abortionists that haunt their ids, and that's all they need in a candidate.
ReplyDeleteA large portion of the commentariat is eliminationist, and preaches the killing of liberals for various claims of treason.
ReplyDelete'Cause, you know, they think we won't shoot back.
"The more you tighten your gripe, the more groping will slip from your fingers."
ReplyDelete(NOTE: The last GOP candidate who was even close this type of thing was Pat Buchanan, who hectored George H.W. Bush mercilessly about the deadly minority of those years--the Haitians.)
ReplyDeleteAnd whose prime-time performance at the 1992 GOP convention played a part in H.W.'s loss in the general election.
It's the resulting calluses, Aimai. The calluses they form on their hands and, well, it's just too horrible to even . . .
ReplyDeleteI don't mind that he's parroting Yoda's most simplistic platitudes for younglings and padawans, but how does Klavan square what I'm going to term "every other goddamn column he's published" with Yoda's wisdom? How does he write his culture war dreck from a life lived without fear? How does he associate with the losers, third raters and knuckle draggers of PJ media if he cares one iota about 'love'? and as for this:
ReplyDeleteWe should support the smartest, most proven, most statesmanlike candidate who best represents those principles.
may I just say, Lincoln's dead.
And he only counts if you go by party affiliation and not politics. Keep looking for your conservative savior, you won't find him in the current crop of presidential hopefuls. Sheesh. The closest living example I can think of is the Pope, and he's only half step better than Karl Marx if you ask most of the conservative true believers what they think.
But I encourage Klavan to keep looking for the one true conservative leader with enough integrity not to be ruled by the paranoid pants pissers that make up the Republican base. He shouldn't be surprised though by the when he brings that prophet back from the desert that he will be greeted by modern conservatives with the same warmth and hospitality that they usually reserve for Fidel Castro.
I am done reading Klavan and Goldberg.
ReplyDeleteZOMG, Jonah's lost half his readers all in one day!
Yes. I guess I thought peopled were used to getting that fix from someone other than the POTUS candidate. Surrogates.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I will encounter some spiteful types (the old guys were mild-mannered) later, at the Applebee's salad bar, or during the cab ride over.
I don't understand why pollsters and pundits have confused infotainment with politics. Of course some huge percentage of republican spite voters are enthralled with Donald Trump at the moment. If we know anything about people its that their preferences, their food choices,their aesthetic style, whether they where boxers or briefs, whether they take cruises or like to go camping, are all bound up with their political ideology. There is cluster of people in this country who like Trump and another cluster who like coprophilia. Doesn't mean they will vote for the piece of shit when they are in the booth. Just means they share a taste for crap when its spewed at them during the off season.
ReplyDeleteshorter klavan commenters
ReplyDelete"And how were you defeated in the Grand Redneck Revolution, grampa? Did they use chemical weapons or hideous bioagents?"
ReplyDelete"Well ah, no. They laughed and pointed"
Just a general request to all here:
ReplyDeleteI never, never want any details about Rush Limbaugh's girlish social ambitions. And Smut? NO PICTURES.
"You want to win back your country? Here’s how. Fear nothing. Hate no one. Stick to principles."
ReplyDeleteHe wants his readers to become liberals?
When even Jonah the Fail is coming across as just too soft on the issues, you know the party is headed for some serious break-up stuff.
ReplyDeletenow that's a shorter if I ever saw one, dex. :)
ReplyDelete+1 midichlorian count
ReplyDeleteWell, one of the things they really like about Star Wars is that whole "hit-on-your-own-sister" thing between Luke and Leia.
ReplyDeleteWell, everyone knows the best way to judge a philosophical belief is to see whether a fictional character who espoused that belief in Movie A made any mistakes in Movie B (written decades later by a different writer). If you don't have two movies, then a very long and incoherent book will suffice, e.g. we know John Galt's philosophy is correct because everything he does is successful even when it doesn't make any sense.
ReplyDeleteSuperbly done - even the domain name's excellent.
ReplyDeletedeath and Donald Trump.
ReplyDeleteMan, talk about getting your problems to solve each other.
" the backwater idiocracy between Hollywood and DC" That is no way to talk about Iowa.
ReplyDeleteAw....you guys....
ReplyDeleteJeez, when you'r too dumb for Jonah Goldberg...
ReplyDeleteYep. My foray into the outback this month swept up a lot of evidence that people don't trust him and don't take him seriously.
ReplyDeleteThey may get some gratification out of his uglier comments, but they talk about them kind of the way they'd swap kids-say-the-darnedest-things when the in-laws come over.
I was surprised.
By "don't trust," I mean they think he's just posing for the cameras and working some angle to get yet more money and media.
"your girlish social ambitions"
ReplyDeleteI bet he also has cooties.
Another triumph of the anti-vaxxer crowd--he didn't get his cooties shot!
ReplyDeleteI hope the observations you both have made are much more representative than the tiny sample of Northeast wingers I have encountered.
ReplyDeleteWhat!?!?! No Cadillacs? No T-bones? Not even an Obama iPhone?
ReplyDeleteDamn, but this revolution is disappointing!
Death and Donald Trump
ReplyDeleteRoman Polanski's last film?
Grampa continued, "I mean, they just disagreed with all of us, and they made mock of our views on the mud people. Tens of thousands died in the first gales of laughter. When the hand-to-hand pointing started, there wasn't but a few of us left standing."
ReplyDelete"Learning is the path to the liberal side. Learning leads to reasoning. Reasoning leads to logic. Logic leads to reality. Once reality one sees, enlightenment follows, it does."
ReplyDeleteI'll see your Poe and raise you a Godwin. Why would you want to be welcomed by some deviant pipsqueak like Alan Cumming who never knew any of the secrets Joel Grey did about Hitler's true greatness?
ReplyDeleteIf he made that I totally would welcome him back into decent society. After he's served his sentence of course.
ReplyDeleteObama's only half black and both his halves are yuppy. Live with it.
ReplyDeleteI live in actual Hollywood. 90028, a block from Hollywood & Vine. Weird to think that my hood of rundown apartments, fourth-rate hot dog stands, and starry-eyed 19-year-olds headed for disappointment is a place this crowd imagines is one of the two poles of elite American power.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've pointed out to several people who say they support Trump (but ostensibly disagree with his message) is that they like the fact that he is nothing but a giant asshole, and none have disagreed with me.
ReplyDeleteRemember your Muad'Dib, ADHDJ!
ReplyDeleteBut you've got all that super-hero cosplay in your hood, too. Howzat for "power"?
ReplyDeleteMake sure you have all your shots. You'll run into Bobo at Applebee's, and Friedman may be hailing the same cab...
ReplyDeleteIt's nothing for us to feel good about. Whatever they tell survey callers about Trump, they're liking them some Cruz, Huckabee, and Perry, and figure Trump's stunts might put some more jizz in those boys' balls. No one seems to think additional brain power or mental health is needed.
ReplyDeleteSome are convinced that it is Ron Paul, not Rand Paul, who's running and they are planning to vote for him. (Yes, of course I encourage write-ins at every opportunity.)
They used (say it with me now)...sarcasm. They knew all the tricks... (etc.)
ReplyDeleteAt 81, about the only sentence he can complete is, "Sit, Roman, sit."
ReplyDeleteStop trying to fool us. You make all those goddamn hate America movies that don't start Jon Voight.
ReplyDeleteTrue. That's how come there's no crime. Too many Spidermen.
ReplyDeleteI bet they serve that fancy mustard on those hot dogs though.
ReplyDeleteHe just wants everyone to know HIS EYES ARE UP HERE.
ReplyDeleteAll of this he-says-what-I-feel-but-yes-he's-an-asshole is a pure distillation of the thing I keep quoting, written by I forget who, about rightwing voters: "They don't vote their interests. They vote their identities." One could ask Derelict's brother-in-law, "Okay, he says things you think. How will his being President improve your life?"
ReplyDeleteOf course we're all subject to that to some extent. But when the middle class or poor vote for the party of plutocracy--when their schools go abegging so that millionaires can pay less in tax--it's either pathological or just plain dumb.
No, they think they won't get hit.
ReplyDeleteAnd no free abortions for all? Include me out!
ReplyDeleteYes. Like the Star Wars franchise, evidently.
ReplyDeleteThe word isn't obscure--I know what it means (and I, too, read it frequently in Dick Francis novels). But its kind of slipped a bit in meaning over the years, I think. It used to have the meaning of something like "the average jerk" or "joe sixpack" but the part that has to do with betting, etertainment, and low levels of cash/pathetic hopes has moved it along somewhat and I read it these days to mean "losers" and the kind of people who have to pay for their pathetic pleasures, whether small bets or small furtive groping with inexpensive whores.
ReplyDeleteWell, we have plain yellow mustard, which most of the tourists use. Then we have a mustard that causes abortion, and one that turns you gay. Sriracha is big, too.
ReplyDelete"Okay, he says things you think. How will his being President improve your life?"
ReplyDeleteLet me channel my B-I-L: "Trump will punch those hippies! Trump will tell all the liberals to fuck off! Trump will get rid of taxes on the rich and regulations on business!"
Note that none of these things will make his life materially better, and some will make his life objectively worse. But Trump will be an asshole toward the people B-I-L doesn't like, and his policies will conform to Cleek's Law. And that's all that's needed.
To me it's meant "suckers." They pay good money to see Bobo The Jackal-Headed Pundit and inside the tent it's just David Brooks.
ReplyDeleteThis. I'm writing lyrics to "It's All About That Base." Will post when done.
ReplyDeleteTrue story: The first time I was in California, I stayed in Santa Monica. First night I was there, I drove my rental car out in search of some Indian food. While stopped at a light not far from your location, a half dozen police cars came screeching to a halt all around me. Cops poured out, handguns and shotguns drawn, and converged on what I then noticed was somebody (a dead somebody, as it turned out) on the sidewalk. More cops arrived and ran into a jewelry store on the corner. The light changed and I pulled away.
ReplyDeleteLater that evening, I watched the local news. Two guys tried to rob that jewelry store. The owner produced a handgun and badly wounded one perp inside the store, then killed the second out on the sidewalk as that guy tried to run away.
The thing that gets me is, the people who have it in for hippies and liberals don't actually know any. I mean, DO they? Like, what hippy do you want to punch, man? One you saw in a movie? What liberal do you need to get off your back -- David Brooks, with all his words and his ties and his acting like he knows shit?
ReplyDeleteWell, he knows ME! And his sister. And his brother. We're all bleeding hearts, according to him. (He's especially ticked at me because I called him out on the genocide he advocates against all Muslims worldwide.)
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I've gotten this far (whatever that means) and never heard of Cleek's Law. Got it. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAs I understand it, gay abortions are not just free but mandatory.
ReplyDeleteSee? If CA allowed concealed carry so those robbers were packing, it would not have gone down like that. But I guess in Calibtardistan it's better to have two people shot instead of one. Thanks, "Governor Moonbeam"!
ReplyDeleteI probably should have mentioned that was back in 1990. One of the strangest business trips I've ever taken, and the shoot-out aftermath was just the beginning.
ReplyDeleteOh. I do hope they are subsidized! I hate an unfunded mandate.
ReplyDelete...
....
.....
I'm leaving that one hanging for all y'all.
So when was the last time us libs had this kind of front runner -- a candidate who enthralled us with rhetoric that simultaneously made him A) utterly loveable to us but also B) someone we'd never actually vote for, even if we couldn't bring ourselves to admit that out loud?
ReplyDeleteWith most candidates, I know of or can imagine a constituency
ReplyDeleteWell, that's the thing. There isn't going to be a single vote case for a GOP candidate for six months. Until then, it's just more reality TV. So why not call in and vote for the monkey that can fling his shit the farthest?
Ummmm...I thought BOTHparties were the party of plutocracy. Because Hillary Clinton represents the poors and Diane Feinstein isn;t married to a billionaire vulture capitalist and war pig?
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky in that my right wing brother is at least somewhat...rational. He is prone to conspiracy theories (we all can be at times) but he is not a loon and one can hold a conversation with him. There are intelligent conservatives. Heck, even on the intertubes, Daniel Larrison blows away any foreign policy analysis by the typical Cruise Missile Liberals who swoon over how STRONG Hillary will be!
ReplyDeleteLet's say. But you can either have plutocracy with Obamacare, Roe v Wade, and a semi-decent minimum wage (etc.), or plutocracy from the 19th century. The plutocracies cancel each other out, and look at what remains.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know. Lesser evilism still applies. But I don;t have to like it.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing worse than Hillary is the 17? 18? member clown car circus now baying and hooting at the moon from the GOP.
Jeez, I'd never ask anyone--here or elsewhere--to LIKE any of this, or these people. Except maybe Liz Warren. And yes, they're clowns, but any and all of them would be capable of putting more horrorshows on the Supreme Court, for one thing.
ReplyDeleteI'd say Bernie Sanders but I would vote for him and I'm not at all ashamed of anything he's saying. That's the thing--I just don't think enough Democrats admire assholes, firebrands, and demagogues so I can' tthink of one. I mean--they've got Goldwater, Reagan, Trump. And they voted for 'em, too, when they could. But who do we have? No real rabble rousers since Sumner and John Brown and people like that.
ReplyDeleteAnother Thomas would be a horrible thought.
ReplyDelete"Punting on Tick" is an 18th C. expression for being in debt. Punting has always meant gambling or betting.
ReplyDeleteI used to live 4 blocks from there, on Hudson; worked at Sunset & Vine; still go to the movies at the Chinese Theatre occasionally. That area was sliding downhill back then (a LOOONNNNNNG time ago) but has been inching upwards for a while. But I bet that even in Raymond Chandler's day it was nothing like as glamorous as non-Angelenos thought it was.
ReplyDeleteTrump is the conservative Id running naked through the fields and dancing joyously through the streets
ReplyDeleteIf only there were a Youtube video available of the "fat man, in a diaper, dancing through a lawn schprinkler" from "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos" on SNL's Sprockets.
Voting as Primal Scream therapy.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the "poo-flinging". A primate/hominid tradition!
ReplyDeleteNature can teach us so much. When I was little I saw a gorilla give some zoo visitors the fish eye. I was told that that gorilla was known for flinging poo. Sure enough, the gorilla relieved himself and casually reached around, grabbed the poo, and flung it directly at the people.
ReplyDeleteThe gorilla flings poo because he can't beat you to death. It's all he's got.
Gotta round 'em up into the FEMA camps first.
ReplyDeleteNow, it's still classified whether JADE HELM is turning over Texas to the Mexicans or the Iranians (as part of the Nuke deal), so I can't tell you which set of invaders will be coming through the neighborhoods to round up Texan Patriots.
To be sure that they pass you by, attach BOTH a tortilla, AND a falafel to your door also too.
The USPO has been lamentably slow in getting the postcards out, instructing people that they'll be on the Death Panels. Patience, Comrades!
Not *exactly* free. You have to rat out a conservative to the IRS to qualify.
ReplyDeleteHit's too close to home "between Hollywood and DC", if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested to see how many of their followers will be left after a few more rounds like this one.
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested to see how many Republican Parties we have--albeit with slightly different names--when all this shakes out. They's a storm a-comin'...
Nah, they'll all line up behind the eventual nominee, no matter how they flirt with others and proclaim that those RINOS will never have their support.
ReplyDelete"As a dog returns to its vomit..."
Release enormous numbers of helium-filled inflatable sex dolls at Trump rallies. THE RAPTURE! IT'S STARTED!!1!
ReplyDeleteYes, however "punt" can refer to a small boat.
ReplyDeleteNOT CHECKING
ReplyDeleteThis looks really good. (I work for the Fed; we have some sites that could really use professional help.)
ReplyDeleteHarumph.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing--I just don't think enough Democrats admire assholes, firebrands, and demagogues so I can't think of one.
ReplyDeleteWe work (or otherwise interact) with these people everyday; why would we want to vote for them?
Full disclosure: my 15-year-old computer nerd nephew is my site builder; I tell him what I want, what looks good & where everything needs to go and he does it. He's wanting me to do some business with him - his idea is to look up local businesses' websites, and approach the ones with really crappy sites with an offer to rebuild them with me doing the "design" such as it is and the copy. It's a good idea, but the one place he falls a little short is in follow-through so don't know if it will ever actually happen - though he might end up getting some site-building work through me rather than the other way around.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble with cold-calling is that the businesses are probably already inundated with skeezy spam offers of website improvements / optimisation. I even get them coming through my university e-address.
ReplyDeletewearing my linen "pajamas"
ReplyDelete"Smoking jacket" sounds better than "dressing-gown".
Right, I always thought it was a double pun--punting on tick or the river tick meant being in debt (tick) and it was associated with gambling.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually more like the common garb for men in the Middle East - loose linen cropped pants & loose linen "t-shirts". It's too damn hot for anything else. Day clothing, but exceedingly casual.
ReplyDeleteAs I've noted, I'm becoming the female version of The Dude.
The Stupid is what gives a Republican his power. It surrounds them and penetrates them. It binds the party together.
ReplyDeleteJust wait til Obama forces his BROWN mustard down our...gle-bargle...
ReplyDeleteOK. I looked it up:
ReplyDeleteYou’re talking about the British and Australian term for those who place wagers, as in, “Daring Donkey in the 2.15 at Ascot is definitely worth a punt, mate.” Right?
That’s unfortunate, since this is the trickiest usage of the word to fully account for, its complete etymology proving somewhat elusive. But here’s a stab at it.
The most convincing origin we came across derives from a version of the popular European game of baccarat known as punto banco, in which the players, i.e., those who stake against the bank (“banco”), are known as punters, from the Italian (and Spanish) term punto, meaning “a point,” although why exactly, we’re not sure. While the origins of baccarat remain obscure, it’s certainly an old game, since its introduction to France from Italy has been traced to the 15th century. Other relatives of baccarat include chemin de fer, baccarat banque (or et deux tableaux), and the now virtually obsolete basset or bassette.
So far so good. But how the term came to mean gamblers in general or, as it tends to today in the U.K. and Australia, horse racing bettors in particular, we’re not sure. In the financial world, someone who invests money in a chancy game or business (particularly the stock market), in the expectation of making a profit, is also referred to as a punter.
While in both countries a “punt” can mean a bet, in Australia “punting” is also used to mean gambling, while in England punting generally means “boating in a punt.” These days in England, the term “punter” is used to refer to any customer of a business, as in, “Let’s see if the punters like this new Swedish beer before we cancel our order for Bud.”
And here I was thinking that 'Klavan' were his rank, a position somewhere between Grand Dragon and Kleagle I think it is, if I heard Prof. Frink right. (He was pitching his script for "The Day the Klan Cried".)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't characterise it quite so negatively, that being or at least seeming the only practical course for them...but then again I might just be trying to justify my staying in the same party as (say) the Clintons and Jim Webb.
ReplyDeleteUnchecked borders are dangerous not because Mexicans are evil but because evil thrives when good men don’t stand guard..
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tubechop.com/watch/6430928
...and four months later, Heaven has to file for bankruptcy protection.
ReplyDeleteWe should have an LA-licublog meetup sometime. If there's enough of us here.
ReplyDeleteAlso, too if Mexicans aren't evil how exactly will an open border permit evil to waft into the US? Are we talking some sort of Melisandre concocted shadow baby ghost?
ReplyDelete"Hate no one."
ReplyDelete"What about homosexuals, we can we hate them?"
"Uh -"
"And [Messicans, we have to hate them!"
"And blacks!"
"And the Jews!"
"Shh!"
"Oh, sorry."
"And women who don't know their place!"
"And homosexuals!"
"I already said that."
"I know, but ... just in case."
"Wait, stop. Hate no one, means you can't hate anyone."
[coyotes]
"And liberals!"
"And RINOs!"
"And people who work for the government"
"Hate!"
"Stop it!"
"HATE!"
"Haaaate! HaaaaaaaaAAATE!"
"Stay back!"
"Raaargh!"
Mexicans aren't evil, but Mexico is evil. Bush was gonna include them in the Axis of Evil to prove it, but he knew the PC crowd would freak out, and that RINO squish caved.
ReplyDeleteThe old Cat & Fiddle is gone as of 2015
ReplyDeleteDamn, I forgot it was closing. As well as Hal's, Cafe Cordiale and pretty much any place to hear (or play) live jazz.
Oh no. Hal's? What a bummer. I didn't know.
ReplyDeleteI've lived in two parts of LA -- before Hollywood, I lived right behind Hal's. (Well, technically right behind The Brig.) I was too broke to go frequently, but even so I had a highly memorable night there back in... gosh, 1999. Sigh.
(If we do the LAlicublog meetup I'll tell '99 the story then. There's no need for me to drop TWO tl;dr posts here in one day...)
Yeah, I thought Larisson was reasonable during the W admin. The only "conservative" who was, I thought.
ReplyDeleteYou libtard. A real American would have called them Mary Lou Retton-level mental gymnastics.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Yar. His "let's proceed with Love" plan does smell like a thing a guy poops out who doesn't believe anyone reeeaaally acts out of love but he's noticed a lot of us pretend to in order to get what we want. Why, they oughta break off a piece of that scam for their side! "You guys, psssst, let's just pretend we're nice," he says, and his mob grab their pitchforks. "Screw you! Nice THIS [jab, jab]."
ReplyDeleteCentral Coast here, ready to represent! I'm in.
ReplyDelete*Pulls out super massive molecule disassociation ray gun* "Exhausted my patience, you have. Die you are now going to. Tears in the rain you will now be like"
ReplyDeleteGromet
ReplyDeletegocart mozart
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5 hours ago
Well, we have plain yellow mustard, which most of the tourists use.
Then we have a mustard that causes abortion, and one that turns you gay.
Sriracha is big, too.
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Sriracha makes you abort your colon, so it can go against the wall too.
Won't someone think about the Lumpy-Pantload Americans, yearning to be "born"! Jonah can't raise all of them by himself.
But that's the thing -- he's completely soft and I'm not ONLY making a fat joke. He gets all butch -- liberals are the real fascists, durr -- and then spends the rest of eternity equivocating that statement. He's stupid in the offensive ways (grow gills, black New Orleanians, herrrrp) and then he gets more offensive in the defensive crouch (why I never once said that liberals were fascists, derrrp). He's the worst of all worlds if all worlds were locked inside a Time Cube and drowned in raw Goldberg juice.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they'd be impressed by the sleazy costumed characters who hang out on the Boulevard and extort money from tourists. I once came upon Spiderman half-dressed, sitting on a milk-crate smoking a joint.
ReplyDeleteYes, sad. We loved that place - or, I should say, my dog Jack loved that place.
ReplyDeleteBut Musso's is still there.....
ReplyDeleteDo it before I move to New Orleans!
ReplyDeleteYou worked at Sunset & VIne? Not at the Borders by any chance?
ReplyDeleteI want a politician who is the liberal id running nekkid through the bluebells goin' ppbffft!
ReplyDeleteWell, yeah, cold calling....but that definitely gives the advantage to somebody who walks in the store. "Hi, I live over on 7th, and I wanna talk to you about your website..."
ReplyDeleteLots of small merchants like (a) keeping their money local, and (b) doing business face-to-face. That's why they're running a small business.
This sort of article isn't about us: it's about you.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about Trump is that it's broadly true that he's an ego monster with no loyalty to the GOP or the conservative project, whatever that's supposed to be. So it's darkly amusing when conservatives like Klavan try to warn followers away from him, only to be hit with NO U!
Maybe they can only get fifth rate hot dogs in their nabe.
ReplyDeleteHehehehehehehe ... "unfunded."
ReplyDeleteNo, although I bought a few books there when they had their closing sale. I worked at the Bank of America for 2 years 1968-1970 -- my first job after college, basically. It was still mostly a gay neighborhood in those far-off days.
ReplyDeletea candidate who enthralled us with rhetoric that simultaneously made him
ReplyDeleteA) utterly loveable to us but also B) someone we'd never actually vote
forPat Paulsen?
I'm in. Boardner's? Mohawk Bend? DTLA? I'm an Eastsider by inclination, but am willing to travel.
ReplyDeleteDamn it! Why do you suppose the GOP keeps having such bad luck with their candidates?
ReplyDeleteMore like the Force, except propagated via Derpichlorians.
ReplyDeleteSure. Some day they'll go back to hating the Jews or Catholics. Maybe the Buddhists will piss them off, somehow.
ReplyDeleteWhat you did, I see it.
ReplyDelete[golf claps]
"But I'll be interested to see how many of their followers will be left after a few more rounds like this one."
ReplyDeleteQuite astounding, that. Even the suggestion of pretense to niceness sends the faithful into apoplectic fits. Amazing as it seems, it was only fifty years ago that Goldwater's "extremism in defense of liberty is no vice" was seen, not entirely incorrectly, as pandering to the wacko fringe. Even Goldwater resented being pulled along by the Birchers and the YAF, and the crackpots in Searcy, Arkansas, and it showed in the general election. Now, with a veritable smorgasbord of resentments to choose from, conservatives don't feel the need to shush their crazier brethren, and in those trifling instances when they do, the end result is that they are targeted for attack, too. It's not exactly to the point of the howlers baying for anyone's blood, but, that day is not far off.
In a way, the Human Anagram, Reince Priebus, must have the worst job in the world at the moment, trying, desperately and unsuccessfully, to convince the traditional movers and shakers in the GOP that they have even a snowball's chance in hell of a) winning in 2016, and b) putting together a policy package that advances the interests of the movers and shakers.
And all because those zealots of fifty years ago finally took over the party. Reagan encouraged them from the sidelines for fifteen years, because he knew they would be good for his political prospects, a ready-made national cheering section. That, in turn, led to all the now-familiar indignities made possible by the neocons, which then led to Gingrich and his wrecking crew and thus emboldened a dizzyingly dim President's son from Texas. Now the wackos are mounting frontal assaults on their nominal party for insufficient purity--exactly what the wackos demanded and expected of Goldwater in 1964. No wonder a clown like Donald Trump is being hailed as a truth-teller. A plurality of the country has, over the course of fifty years, completely fucking lost its collective mind, has been led over the edge and into the abyss by people we've always heretofore been able to recognize as loonies--the super-patriots with fascist tendencies, the religious kooks, the social demagogues, the bumfoozled nativists, the fanatics who never encountered a problem that war wouldn't fix.
Now, it seems, the GOP field is finally large enough and crazy enough that there's something for just about every nutball persuasion out there in the heartland, and every one of them demanding ever more purity of thought, purity of spirit, purity of essence.
"We marshaled our forces, but they were no match for the shock troops of the Daily Show, honed as they were by 15 years of close-order sarcasm drills and hand-to-hand ridicule. Who did we have? Eric Golub? Dennis Miller? The Half Hour Comedy Hour willingly threw themselves into the teeth of that machine and died like heroes. It was ultimately futile, which is why we still fly their flag today."
ReplyDeleteNever mind that they’re shitty CGI-wank movies with horribly crafted characters and plot holes that would embarrass a 200 level creative writing class.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Consider it bookmarked.
ReplyDeleteAlso, say hello to the Whitewater Tavern in Little Rock for me (if it’s still there).
Righteous, Helmut.
ReplyDeleteRa'men
ReplyDeleteThe Farce
ReplyDeleteAm I starting to sound like the noted Mr. Monotreme?
ReplyDeleteNot a bad thing, I suppose.
Sorry. Righteous montag2
ReplyDeleteNot to worry.
ReplyDeleteMistaking me for good company is far better than some of the alternatives.
If anyone starts a crowdfunding campaign to pull this off I'm SO contributing...
ReplyDeleteA tually Obama and Biden pretty much are that kind of leader. Neither acts out of fear or hate. Not even under extreme provocation.
ReplyDeleteExcept for his racist monomania.
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/1LXuNpF6NVg
ReplyDeleteJesus: "Love they neighbor as thyself."
ReplyDeleteModern Christian conservative: "Fucking hippie commie homofag!" [Pulls out Glock, starts shooting]
Obligatory punter.
ReplyDeleteNot only is it still here, it's unchanged since you last saw it (whenever that might have been).
ReplyDeleteTick is basically "ticket," IIRC: "on tick" would be like "on a tab."
ReplyDeleteWhat has Larison been saying on the Confederate Flag imbroglio? Wasn't he a League of the South guy?
ReplyDeleteDid you read Perlstein's Before the Storm? I've only just gotten started on it, but I peeked ahead, and it seems like Reagan very deliberately picked up where Goldwater left off--his half-hour political infomercial was probably more popular than any speech Barry made.
ReplyDeleteas opposed to an unfun dead man date. the zombie apocalypse is nigh
ReplyDeletePretty sure that Thomas Frank said that in What's the Matter with Kansas?
ReplyDeleteHah, that's great. Lots of good definitions under Internet Law in RationalWiki.
ReplyDeleteloose linen cropped pants & loose linen "t-shirts". It's too damn hot for anything else.YOWSA.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually in the midst of reading it (having read his other two books, I was eager to get into it). Reagan, clearly, was the opportunist in this war for the conservative mind. Goldwater was, I think, shoved into the nomination even though he had reservations about running (not because he didn't wholeheartedly believe in conservatism as it was then, but because he didn't think he could maintain control of the forces pushing him toward the nomination, which turned out to be more true than not).
ReplyDeleteIn hindsight, maybe Goldwater was actually a little scared of the blithering idiots, whereas Reagan brought them to his bosom and clung tight to them. In the end, Reagan won, and Goldwater didn't. Maybe that's something we should be watching today. Whomever tries to embrace the greatest number and kind of wackos than any other candidate may well get the 2016 nomination. That's no guarantee that person will win, but Reagan's mining of the lowest common denominator did produce results.
Yeah, it's not always that easy to pin down someone's politics; those old farmers may be conservative generally, but that doesn't mean that they have time for a short-fingered vulgarian who was born rich and is, at best, serially solvent. Some of the most liberal people I know are from my mom's side of the family, people who literally grew up slopping hogs.
ReplyDeleteYeah, both he and his boss Pat Buchanan are stone-cold racists and amongst the few American conservatives (heh) who aren't utterly insane dumbshits on foreign policy (Pat's screed against the Cotton Coterie and their Iran letter was a thing of beauty). It's like there's a conservation law at work: wingnuts can be decent on only a fixed percentage of topics.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why pollsters and pundits have confused infotainment with politics.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that most of them have; I think it's two parts of knowing that it will pump up their ratings in election season, and one part that they're bored with wonkery and like to see this election cycle's Chris Farley reeling around and knocking over everyone's drinks. Look at how shamelessly they overpromoted Mitt Romney in '12 on account of the president having a bad day coincidental with the first debate--it was so shameless that even the Romney campaign bought it and went into election day thinking that they were going to win. Professional ethics and a semi-functional sense of shame at failing those ethics is so lamestream old media.
Our glorious Marxist/Nazi/Hippie/Mexican Reich will begin and we will all have free lobster, free weed, free plastic surgery, and free iPads, except of course, for Republicans, who will be forced to bake gay wedding cakes and melt their daughters' purity rings into a special presidential medal for Colonel Lena Dunham, secret chief of the CIA all these many years of Democratic treason.
ReplyDeleteI'd laugh harder if that didn't all sound so damn good.
Well, Alan Cumming played Nightcrawler, so he has that going for him.
ReplyDeleteRight. I, too, have read Larrisson and find him not entirely stupid. But that doesn't mean that his extreme and sentimental racism and reactionary policy positions are tolerable.
ReplyDeleteI'm more interested in LittlePig's revolutionary insight into the organs of the GOP. I take it that Hate is the thing propelling their GOTV spinnerets, like some kind of arachnid catalyst?
ReplyDeleteI haven't caught anything from him on that.
ReplyDeleteI always assumed he was too much of a Nationalist to fall for the siren call of the Confederacy. I know he is Orthodox religious (so not even standard fundie), but he mostly focuses on foreign policy on his blog.
It’s been 10 years, at least. My old band used to play there whenever we were passing through.
ReplyDeleteYou bet he did. And he made the point beautifully in just the Introduction. Something like, "You VOTE for abortion to made illegal. You GET tax breaks for the rich. You VOTE for prayer in schools. You GET spurious trade deals." Not those specific items, but the dynamic: the voters think they're electing people to advance their cultural agenda, and instead get people advancing the interests of Big Money.
ReplyDeleteI decided to look and there is these from a while ago
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theamericanconservative.com/larison/rebel-without-a-clue/
http://historynewsnetwork.org/article/46573
Well, I don't travel much these days, mainly because I take care of the houses and pets of people who do travel. But the last time I was in Texas, it was an all-expenses paid week-long trip to Austin. They were moving from Cali back to Austin and took their took their dogs and one cat by car, and had me fly the other kitty (the grumpy one) there, and then help with the unpacking and setting up. God, it was a beautiful house. It was summer, so the air-conditioning was on all the time; I'm not used to that. We had fun. I saw the bridge bats.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what Little Texas means, but next time someone wants me to fly a kitty to Texas, I'd do my best to make a meet-up. Meanwhile, to continue my OT-ness, there's a dog I walk whose people are on vacation in Hawaii, Their dog goes to a lovely kennel, so I don't stay with him. But the reason for the trip is that their mom, who lives in a small Texas town, is coming to the end of her fight with cancer, but really wanted to see Hawaii. So the whole family is going there, including the mom's favorite caregiver, a loving young woman who's never been out of state before. My friend is determined to make sure the caregiver has time off to go have fun. It makes me happy that they care about the caregiver. That is why I am sharing this tl;dr.
Years and years ago the Niners had a good punter who got a case of the heebie-jeebies, or the wiggins, or whatever it is that makes a good athlete choke over and over. A friend of mine came to work one day and told me in solemn tones: "Mike Cofer tried to commit suicide last night". While I recoiled in horror, she started laughing, and finished up: "Yeah, he tried to kick the bucket, and missed." We were hysterical, but I still slugged her for scaring me. I am so OT today.
ReplyDeleteArachnid Catalyst. I should have had a baby just to name her that. Guess I'll have to settle for starting a band.
ReplyDeleteYou say that like it's a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteWhat Democrats consider features of their candidates and leaders., Republicans consider bugs. And vice versa. Exhibit A, the Wasilla grifter family.
This is a fine comment section, one of the best on the web, when it's open.
ReplyDeleteNice story, thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteMy dad's a mining engineer and a huge global warming denier; apparently his politics prevent him from interpreting graphs and data, but only selectively. A good friend in Canada with a PhD in Geography is no moron, but now that he works in oil & gas he's suddenly a denialist with the same sudden inability to interpret graphs unless they've been vetted by that pseudo-scientist Anthony Watt. His arguments are (1) look at this graph from Watt, (2) climate has changed before, (3) I like being a contrarian, and (4) even if global warming is true, it is too late to do anything about it. Drives. Me. Insane.
ReplyDeleteOne thing we libs tend to forget about authoritarians is they will do as they are told, period. That they are starting to grumble and shake their fists at splitters within their ranks makes it more entertaining, but they'll fall in line. My one hope is that there is a creeping demoralization in their ranks, and basic demographics are thinning their herd.
ReplyDeleteWiser words than most political commentators are slinging these days; thanks. I suspect many paid commentators are appalled in that sniffy, white gloved way that a true vulgarian (short-fingered or not) has invaded their precious DC bubble, and with a loud rabble supporting him.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about authoritarians is that they only follow legitimate authority, not just any authority. Legitimate authority must reflect their mores and prejudices or risk being rejected as such.
ReplyDeleteIn a way, it's kind of handcuffing. The Inner Party can't tell the Outer Party that neither Eastasia or Eurasia is their enemy, because that would get the black overalls dragged from their ministries and condos by the Outer Party and flayed alive for being traitors to IngSoc.
So we've learned that Yoda is not a true conservative. Good to know!
ReplyDeleteIt's not fancy mustard, but they do wrap the hot dogs in bacon...
ReplyDelete