Richard Hell, Tom Verlaine, and Billy Ficca. The right kind of shrill.
• Two days after Charleston, National Review's The Corner is a river in Egypt. Don't you dare blame guns! What's so racist about the Confederacy? (Reihan Salam gently suggests that maybe now is not the time to fly the Battle Flag, and NRO commenters erupt with rebel yells -- "I think beta males and PC finks like our author here - will guarantee that flag flies proudly for some time to come," etc. -- and racism, some of it specifically aimed at Salam, e.g. "Reihan Salam's pals are currently destroying symbols in Mosul, Ramadi and Palmyra. He's not a good source for rational thought, as Kipling would say.") But the craziest -- so far -- is David French. The title of his post, "If One of the Churchgoers in Charleston Had Been Armed..." promises crackpottery, and the post itself delivers more than just a maudlin fantasy of heat-packing parishioners saving the day. Sample:
As I read the news and watched the coverage, I felt stricken for the victims, fury at the attacker, and more than a little personal conviction. Not because of any silly notions of collective white guilt or other nonsense peddled by the radical Left — and certainly not because I’ve long opposed the Left’s gun-control efforts and supported the individual, inherent right of self-defense, including the right to keep and bear arms. No, I felt conviction because of the numerous times that I’ve walked out of my house unarmed and thus largely incapable of defending myself — and, more important, others — from violent acts. Perhaps I chose not to wear the right kind of clothing — pants that allow me to conceal my carry pistol, for example. Perhaps it crossed my mind to carry, but I thought, “I’m not going anywhere dangerous.” The men and women at the Emanuel Bible study probably didn’t think they were in any danger, either...
If the unthinkable happens, and I watch as my family, my friends, or even members of my community I’ve never met are hurt or killed when I could have prevented it by carrying the weapon I’ve trained myself to use, I could never forgive myself...
Don’t just carry. Don’t just go to the state-mandated training, buy a weapon, and then forget about it. Unless you train yourself to use it, that weapon would probably be less useful to you in an emergency than a similarly weighted rock. At least you’d instinctively know to throw the rock. Practice with a handgun until you can take it from a position of safe carry to active engagement within seconds. Then practice that again until you’ve beaten your best time. Then practice again. And realize that practice isn’t a burden but a joy...So Charleston inspires French to be even more of a gun nut -- one who can't go anywhere without one -- and to try and get the rest of us to support his fantasy by playing with guns until we love them like he does. In the immortal words of Max Bialystock, this man should be in a strait-jacket.
• Meanwhile at PJ Media, here's some culture war from David Swindle:
Why can't Tyrion be nice? Also, Leopold Bloom went to prostitutes, when they make a TV show out of it let's fix that. But here's my favorite part:
The concept that I propose discussing, which Game of Thrones illustrates better than any show on television today, is this: Postmodern Pornography. How is pomo-porno different than the traditional variety? In much the same way that Barack Obama’s Saul Alinsky-style, pragmatic community-organizing Marxism differs from the more honest Marxism of his mentors Frank Marshall Davis, Derrick Bell, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, and Bernardine Dohrn.Say what you want about the tenets of Swindlism, dude, at least it's an ethos.
• Hey, remember that Bullets and Bourbon thing the Ole Perfesser and a bunch other nuts were planning for December? Here's fresh promo by Ed Driscoll. Stephen Green narrates from (it sounds like) inside a barrel over telephone hold music about how the Perfesser et alia will be talking to guests "about threats to the Second Amendment." (This is at a ranch in Texas, by the way, which is like talking about threats to the rich at Davos.) Then the music changes to U2 Muzak and we see guys shooting at targets, which Green describes as "images to really whet your appetite." Targets! What about the most dangerous game? If I'm paying $1,699 I expect to get all likkered up and hunt humans. Maybe there's a platinum-level membership they aren't telling us about.
French might not want to strap on that gun so quickly. He actually looks a lot like the various and assorted shooters, except for his age. It's the look in his eye-both vulnerable and dead.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's just from being married to Bristol Palin's ghostwriter, though.
French also has an adopted African daughter. I shudder to think what he's telling her right now.
Don’t just carry. Don’t just go to the state-mandated training, buy a weapon, and then forget about it. Unless you train yourself to use it, that weapon would probably be less useful to you in an emergency than a similarly weighted rock. At least you’d instinctively know to throw the rock. Practice with a handgun until you can take it from a position of safe carry to active engagement within seconds. Then practice that again until you’ve beaten your best time. Then practice again. And realize that practice isn’t a burden but a joy...
ReplyDeleteThat is honestly one of the creepiest things I've ever read. So French's advice is as follows:
1.) Assume that you're in constant mortal danger.
2.) Practice your quick draw.
3.) Learn to enjoy the thought of shooting someone dead.
Because an armed, twitchy and power-tripping society is a happy society.
If the congregants had shot Roof in self-defense, the NRO headline would have screamed: BLACK MOB KILLS CLEAN-CUT WHITE BOY.
ReplyDeleteFor awhile my local newspaper website comments section (it's one of my few great joys in life) was populated by someone who in response to basically anything about the city (anything from a new restaurant to a 10K race to ,well, anything) was basically "I don't understand why people do this? They just need to start gardening. That's all anyone really needs to be happy." It was somewhat just anti-urban, but mostly this guy was just obsessed with gardening and didn't understand why everyone else wasn't too.
ReplyDeleteGardening has one clear advantage over gun nuttery, however...
If any of those people at that church were packing, French's headline would have read "White teenager forced to kill in self defense against dangerous armed blacks."
ReplyDeleteAnother day, another conservative fuckwit who thinks he's a gunslinger. And wouldn't shoot someone who's scratching his belly or taking out a phone in a reflective case. Or moved too fast, or looked like they weren't having a good day. Or was just, you know, black. David French wouldn't hesitate, wouldn't freak out if the person next to him got gunned down and he got blood and brains on him, wouldn't shoot if he didn't have a clear field of fire, wouldn't waste ammo, etc. He's a veteran (as a judge advocate, but whatever) and could be the person that Chris Kyle pretended to be if only he got the chance, and wore his special gun pants. The gun pants will make him into The Man With No Name, you see.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me he signs the letters "Voltaire."
ReplyDeleteGet out of my mind! (puts on aluminum foil hat)
ReplyDeleteMan With No Name---->Horse With No Name--->Horse's Ass With A Suspiciously Foreign Name
ReplyDeleteIt's a logical progression.
So, he needs to wear pants big enough to carry his gun? If he uses his gun over and over, if he practices, it brings him joy? He wants everyone to practice with him, too? That's...man...that's some real stuff he should be talking to someone about.
ReplyDeleteIf more reactionary men were armed and comfortable with shooting other people, then tragedies like in Charleston wouldn't happen!
ReplyDeleteI think the word for it is "ammosexuality."
ReplyDeleteCan you send him over here?
ReplyDeleteI think the real burden is the ability of both of us to get into the heads of NRO creeps- we've been parsing their words for waaaaay too long.
ReplyDeleteI socialize sometimes with a lady who packs a gun in her purse. It's about a million times more likely she'll drop it causing the gun to go off than it ever helps her. All it is is an attractive target for someone to rob. I wonder how many CHL owners get shot with their own guns.
ReplyDeleteOf course, since she's white, she probably won't be shot by a cop.
ReplyDeleteThere's this moment in Atlas Shrugged where Dagny is overwhelmed by the loneliness of being an Ubermensch and humps her desk. French's post reminds me of that moment.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, it's amusing to see that French just crams his gun down his pants. From what I've seen in KagroX's Twitter feed, guns tend to go off that way.
Do they stand in a circle when they jerk the trigger?
ReplyDeleteDo they pull it out of their pants and aim at a target?
I could go on.
"[T]ake it to active engagement within
ReplyDeleteseconds. Then practice that again until you’ve beaten your best time.
Then practice again. And realize that practice isn’t a burden but a
joy..."
Remember kids, speed is more important than size or endurance, amirite ladies?
To a certain point. Nobody wants the gun to go off before it's out of the pants.
ReplyDelete"Practice your quick draw."
ReplyDeleteHow'd that work out for Tamir Rice?
He's not a good source for rational thought, as Kipling would say.
ReplyDeleteIt must hurt a guy like Salam. He's carried SO MUCH WATER and then at the end, he's still the White Man's Burden. Assholes all around. I think I have to stay off the Internet today.
"If you don't go clean your room right now, you're next."
ReplyDeleteSmall target, he'd probably miss.
ReplyDeleteThen practice again. And realize that practice isn’t a burden but a joy...
ReplyDeleteI set aside childhood things. Just ran slap out of hormonal fluids.
Skinner: Oh, licking envelopes can be fun! All you have to do is make a game of it.
ReplyDeleteBart: What kind of game?
Skinner: Well, for example, you could see how many you could lick in an hour, then try to break that record.
Bart: Sounds like a pretty crappy game to me.
Veronica Rutledge' surviving relatives fell all over each other to reaffirn their love of guns after she was shot by her 2 year old.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTGmTrQXrwg
ReplyDeleteThe gun pants....are actually a real thing. A loaded handgun is heavy. Like over two pounds worth of heavy. If you clip a holster to the waistband of your average jeans, they're going to sag like crazy, which means your holster flops around, and your gun won't be where you expect it to be. Pants designed for concealed carry have a big stiff piece of plastic sewn into them for stability.
ReplyDeleteIn a weird way, my estimation for French actually went up after reading this column. Not only does he point out the need for practice with a firearm (though he glosses over the expense; ammunition and range time will easily cost $1000/year) he finishes his essay up with this:
None of this, of course, guarantees your personal safety. None of
this guarantees that in a moment of maximum stress that you’ll make the
right decision...Even though — as an Iraq vet — I’ve had far more training than
the average American, I still don’t know how I’d respond to any given
crisis until that crisis is upon me.
My goodness, Mr. French, it sounds like you might understand why some people don't feel like toting around a portable death machine.
"No, I felt conviction because of the numerous times that I’ve walked out
ReplyDeleteof my house unarmed and thus largely incapable of defending myself —
and, more important, others — from violent acts."
And yet here you are, David... to this day still uninjured, with all two of your typing fingers intact. I look forward to French's followup piece in which he wonders why no one in the congregation threw their cell phones at Dylann Roof.
Reihan, Reihan, Reihan... You'll never be a member of the Kool Kids' Klub.
ReplyDeleteDavid French's Crocodile Tears
ReplyDelete"The only thing that stops a bad guy with a trowel is a good guy with a trowel."
ReplyDeleteHe had a concealed carry in his specially modified diapers. She was looking at him funny. It was self-defense.
ReplyDeleteIt must hurt a guy like Salam. He's carried SO MUCH WATER
ReplyDeleteBut if it comes to slaughter
You will do your work on water,
An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it.
(Speaking of the White Man's Burden, and all.)
Nothing is quite a relaxing as picking off potato bugs with an AK.
ReplyDeleteFrench's NRO profile states that he's a Bronze Star winner. I wondered how one could demonstrate enough valor in combat to win a Bronze Star as a member of the JAG corps, so I went to Wikipedia to find the requirements. This seemed to apply:
ReplyDelete"The Bronze Star Medal is awarded only to service members in combat who are receiving imminent danger pay."
Good thing he was there in 2007, when everyone serving in Iraq got Imminent Danger Pay
Also reminds me of how that Texas gun group re-enacted the Charlie Hebdo murders. Even when there wasn't an element of surprise, it was very difficult to survive and fatally take down attackers: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/texas-pro-gun-group-recreates-charlie-hebdo-attack-article-1.2081534
ReplyDeleteIn some situations guns can serve as protection, but some people get carried away with this ridiculous belief - that when they have a gun, they'll react instantaneously and flawlessly to any attack (surprise attack or otherwise), as if they're the heroes in an action movie or western.
And yes, it is hideous how the same group of people who tries to find any excuse possible for brutality against unarmed black people (reaching for his waist band, looked like a thug, etc.) are saying they want black people carrying weapons. Right.
"Seeing a bunch of black people murdered by white guy, reminds me, a white guy, to make sure that no matter what horrible things happen to other people, it is ultimately always about me. Cheers!"
ReplyDeletep.s. I am not victim blaming by suggesting they should have had guns! I'm just saying that if people don't want to be shot, they should have guns.
Yeah,. You can almost hear the heavy breathing in that whole
ReplyDeletewhole "practice... practice... beaten... practice... practice... joy" bit
Is it me, or does this sound like French needs some Kleenex on hand when he does that.
BTW, has Glenn Reynolds played the "it was the church's fault for being a gun-free zone" whine yet?
That's a good point.
ReplyDeleteWhenever these troglodytes go on about how the confederate flags are just symbols of "Southern Heritage" I have one question, what fucking Southern Heritage are they talking about? Until 1861 the flag of the South was the American flag, and again ever since 1865. If the sum total of their "heritage" is 4 years of Civil War then it's an entirely racist and pro-slavery legacy, period. (Not to mention, all those slave-built antebellum mansions and the plantation good life is not just a southern heritage, but an American one, and much as northerners like to think they were above it all by dint of being on the right side in the War there were not a few mansions built up here from slave trade profits.)
ReplyDeleteIf they really want symbols of their southern "heritage" how about whips and a chains, with a side order of treason?
I believe Instaputz has played that hand already. If not him, someone whined it yesterday but I refuse to go look for it.
ReplyDeleteI once got way too much amusement out of discovering Thunderware!
ReplyDelete[blink, blink]
ReplyDeleteThat’s amazing.
I had an uncle who marched into Poland. In 1939. I wouldn't expect the "heritage, not hate" line to get me any slack if I displayed a swastika, and I wouldn't fucking deserve any, either.
ReplyDeleteBowl-Cut white boy?
ReplyDeleteDuring the pursuit of the Boston Marathon bombers, a cop was shot and nearly killed. The subsequent investigation concluded that the bullet was almost certainly fired by another cop. Cops are trained for this kind of situation, and yet the chances of something going wrong are very high. Do we really want vigilantes who've only trained in their imaginations deciding to play hero?
ReplyDeleteI garden in a community garden. If spades and trowels fired bullets, I know of a couple of people who be facing off at ten paces.
ReplyDeleteIf only that 87 year old woman had been packing.
ReplyDeleteShe's got blood on her hands.
I hope nobody sets off a firecracker in a megachurch. The crossfire is going to kill a lot of bible-toting grannies. I imagine more people will be packing on Sunday than ever before.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen anyone explain how they will tell the difference between an ammosexual and his close personal companion Gertie the Glock and a mass shooter with a gun in his pants and fists of ammo in his jacket. Is the hypothetical conservative (henceforth known as "Bubba") supposed to stand around and watch every armed person every second so they can take the shooter out in the split second before he fires on Bubba? The more armed people walking around, the more potential shooters. Nobody can live in a constant state of fear without something cracking.
When they realize that one gun won't keep them or their loved ones safe in every circumstances will we see a personal arms escalation? Rich conservatives can cover themselves with knives, guns, knuckle-dusters, and high-tech security toys. Will the poor conservatives enjoy their vicarious safety while imposing harsher control on whomever they perceive as an enemy?
That backyard chicken didn't kill, pluck, clean, and roast itself.
ReplyDeleteThis is like a Python sketch. "News for Parrots." Or an Onion op-ed.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a bigtime troll, but I wanna troll Philly Gardening Guy. It'd be too bad if he just comments and leaves.
ReplyDeleteAs I read the news and watched the coverage, I felt stricken for the victims, fury at the attacker, and more than a little personal conviction.
ReplyDeleteSay what?
He quite obviously does NOT feel anything at all for the victims, unless he thinks the victims are white racists taking pride in their 'heritage'. UG.
Noooooooooooooooo!
ReplyDeletePractice with a handgun until you can take it from a position of safe carry to active engagement within seconds. Then practice that again until you’ve beaten your best time. Then practice again. And realize that practice isn’t a burden but a joy...
ReplyDeleteBecause it always works out just so well.
https://youtu.be/paxk_LPmdMI
He looks like a guy who has to practice a lot.
ReplyDeleteIt was one of the assholes on the NRA board of directors. He specifically noted that the Pastor was a proponent of gun control, and thus was responsible for his own death.
ReplyDeleteLogic: How the fuck does that work?
...
ReplyDeleteThere's no 'slow motion' in real life. In real life the hero doesn't have time to draw his gun, he's busy hiding under a desk or in a closet.
ReplyDeleteEvan Hurst, at Wonkette:
ReplyDeleteCharles Cotton is a member of the NRA’s board, and he knows who killed those people. No, not Dylann Storm Roof, the alleged gunman who has since confessed, silly! It was Rev. Clementa Pinckney, state senator and pastor at Emanuel AME Church, according to Cotton. How did Pinckney manage that? By voting against a bill that would have allowed people to carry concealed guns in church, of course!
Cotton helpfully explained this on TexasCHLForum.com, which claims to be “the focal point for Texas firearms information and discussions,” and where he is a site administrator:
“And he voted against concealed-carry. Eight of his church members who might be alive if he had expressly allowed members to carry handguns in church are dead. Innocent people died because of his position on a political issue.”
Even in the Wild West Days most people didn't go around armed, especially in social situations.
ReplyDeleteIt's the fantasy aspect of it that they can't get past. Like the Aurora theater shooting in which they fantasize about how they'd have drawn down on the bad guy.
ReplyDeleteIn the dark.
In the middle of a theater full of panicking people.
While they, themselves, were suffering from shock and panic.
And if their fantasy was in true fruition, they would have been among a number of people who had drawn guns and begun firing, so in all of the confusion, there is no possible way to know who was the bad guy with the gun and who were good guys--especially since their fantasy generally involves the Mooslim Hordes attacking.
I'm surprised that stupid fucker didn't die immediately from the blast wave travelling up his femoral artery.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I needed a laugh.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a mystery to these guys:
ReplyDeletehttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/CH3nWWVUsAEoyFK.jpg
~
Oh come on.
ReplyDeleteAs always, I know I shouldn't be lookist, but these boastful wingnut poindexters make it hard.
Saul Alinsky-style
ReplyDeleteThat's right, sheeple! He's going to pass the TPP with mainly GOP support, and then BAM! Commie takeover!
~
WSJ declares that Charleston shooting signals end of institutional racism:
ReplyDeleteBack then and before, the institutions of government—police, courts, organized segregation—often worked to protect perpetrators of racially motivated violence, rather than their victims.
The last time I checked, the armed and dangerous white murderer of nine innocent people was apprehended alive, while the black guy selling loosies was killed.
He's heightening the contradictions man.
ReplyDeleteSince when is Jeremiah Wright a Marxist?
ReplyDeleteAnother example of how conservative beliefs are more like blind faith than the result of any rational thought-process. "I believe! I believe!"
ReplyDeleteI'd get behind Frenchie & yell "Boo!", but the subsequent stench would probably be a little much.
ReplyDeleteMy colleague administers a community garden for our small municipality. You are absolutely right about that.
ReplyDeleteThe men and women at the Emanuel Bible study probably didn’t think they were in any danger, either...
ReplyDeleteThis is insanity. Of course they didn't think they were in danger. Does he really think an 87 year old grandmother should think she was in danger going to her Bible group? Does he really think they should have packed on the way to study, in case they'd have to blow away a killer in between verse readings?
So for David French, the problem isn't that some crazy dude has been so inflamed by hateful racist rhetoric that he's willing to gun down innocent strangers, the problem is that 75 year old sextons and 87 year old grandmas are too irresponsible to arm themselves on the way to Bible study.
BTW trivial note - David French is married to Bristol and Sarah Palin's ghostwriter, Nancy French.
As a former Postal Service employee, I spent a lot of time thinking about my escape route, and If I'd be better off maximizing speed /distance by running in the open, or flattening myself beneath the sorting cases and choosing a diagonal to the swinging exit doors.
ReplyDeleteThere was still the matter of the parking lot, partially enclosed by a wall you couldn't leap even if you were only "lightly wounded'.
Eventually i comforted myself that anyone with a gun was going to go straight for the Postmaster, who was an excruciating asshole. That would give us all plenty of time as the shooter (we all suspected who it might be) gleefully emptied several clips into an already prone target.
I've come to the conclusion that the general direction of the pushback on this gun lunacy needs to be that people who love guns aren't the only ones who have rights. The Constitution isn't just one amendment. The overarching theme, as presented right there at the beginning, is "...to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity..."
ReplyDeleteThe wild west mentality about guns fails that test many times over. "Justice" too often accrues to the guy holding the gun; or, not "justice" exactly, but "winning" in that the other guy is dead. There's no domestic tranquility if you can't go anywhere without being surrounded by people packing. Living in an armed camp is not "tranquility" by any stretch of the imagination. The bit about the "common defense" pretty much takes the "I have a right to as many guns of any kind as I want" thing off at the knees, clarifying that the intent of the 2nd Amendment is collective defense, not "Imma have my own armory." Last, and most important, how free or liberated is any people who live under the daily threat of random mass murder? Or who are surrounded by paranoid & fearful people carrying weapons wherever they go? How free is your speech when you think twice about disagreeing with the redneck at the bar with an AR slung over his shoulder?
We may not be able to really get rid of guns, but we could sure have a lot fewer of them, if we required things like background checks for all purchases, waiting periods, mandatory safety training at purchaser's expense for EVERY gun purchased, meaning if you want to have dozens of them, you go to the training & pay for it dozens of times, mandatory insurance coverage on each gun, etc. None of those infringe on your right to ultimately own a gun - they just require that you take some measures of responsibility. Like we do with all our other rights.
I went on an annual drinkin' trip with old friends from high school, and this year one of them was packing heat. Why he thought he was in mortal danger at the beach, I'll never know. Dude gets wasted and starts screwing around with the gun, and eventually I excuse myself to another room, because, shit.
ReplyDeleteOf course I hear all manner of "liberal pussy" drunk talk from him.
Gun nuts have always had that paranoid style and underlying racist concerns, but they at least used to respect the actual instrument. Nowadays they can't even muster that.
Or janitors making minimum wage.
ReplyDeleteWhich is too high, per the wingnuts.
IYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeleteIs it worth pointing out that if you're paying a prostitute, she's not a "sex slave"? That the very definition of "slave" is someone not paid for their labor? (Another term for this is "intern.") I know these guys are stupid, but do they have to be dumb, too?
ReplyDeletesupport his fantasy by playing with guns until we love them like he does.BLACK GUY AT WALMART: Hmmm ... Okay.
ReplyDelete[Picks up air rifle; is immediately gunned down by white cop]
I'm happy to say that even though I'm a Democrat -- so you'd think I know every Marxist in the book -- I've made it this far in life without ever hearing the names Frank Marshall Davis and Derrick Bell until today. Please, no one tell me who they're supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteI think the best option is to enforce the "well-regulated militia" clause- you want to carry a gun? Get up at 5AM one Saturday a month and go on a ten-mile hike in full gear.
ReplyDeleteThat would cause the enchantment to lose its allure.
I don't care how awful the Internet can be. If it can bring us this, it's o-kay by me.
ReplyDelete2008
ReplyDeleteAnd then six months from now when some unarmed black kid is gunned down by a white dude, naturally the defense becomes: "Anybody would have assumed he was packing -- I mean those people even carry handguns to church! I was afraid for my life."
ReplyDelete"The Wages Are Too Damned High" party.
ReplyDeleteMy obsession with this topic involves acoustics. You're a pistol-packin' patriot in a public space. You hear (what you think is) a shot. Sure, you "know" where it comes from. But acoustics, either outside or inside, can be tricky and deceptive. Who ya gonna shoot? The person shoving their hand in their pocket (to get their phone)? Because the sound "came from there"?
ReplyDeleteThe idea that more guns equals more safety is literally deranged.
http://www.theonion.com/article/nra-starts-their-shit-about-what-would-be-even-gre-50706
ReplyDeleteThe Onion, having long ago been surpassed in satire by *real life*, drops the pretense and brings the wood.
Alliance wanker.
ReplyDeleteSweet Jesus this is a good point. The simple math of it! If you can't forgo one symbol from 4 years of your 240-year history, what is wrong with you?
ReplyDeleteThank you a bunch. Here he is one year later. I didn't make it past "I'd like to thank slickybeans..."
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuBXWujeYQ
That Swindle column is full of easy targets, i.e., " It’s impossible to have “casual sex” with someone — every sexual act is transformative. I came to this understanding differently than [Ben Shapiro], though, through first-hand experience and painful mistakes."
ReplyDelete"Why curl up at night and watch a show filled with cruel, crazy, unpredictable people stabbing each other in the back for no reason whatsoever when that’s what we have to maneuver around all day in the real world?" Just another day at the offices of PJ Media. (emphasis in original)
"As you might have observed, I’ve been reading Camille Paglia’s Sexual Personae lately..." Well, I'm sure it's just as relevant now as it was in 1990.
"Is it just a coincidence that the same culture that celebrates Game of Thrones’ bloodbaths also looks the other way at Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans who were left to die..." BENGHAZI BINGO!
And all the people who stuck by his side during "The Ridicule".
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to describe the exit wound the derisive laughter has made in my day.
Man, this is what I get for being late to the game. I wondered in the other thread about the gun-nuts, and sure enough they started. I'm just wondering when the NRA will weigh in, though.
ReplyDeleteOK, yeah, so this was absolutely a terrorist attack; you can draw a straight line from Hamburg at one end of the state to Charleston at the other, both intended--138 years apart--to destroy local black leadership.
ReplyDeleteThis made chuckle out loud for some reason.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite examples of this was some gun-nut's (apparently non-satirical) comment below a story about a lost wild animal (coyote, I think) that had wandered into a bar somewhere. Said nut seemed to think that this situation would have been much improved had several of the bar patrons been packing pistols they could all simultaneously unload on the unfortunate critter.
ReplyDeleteDavis is worth a Google, if only for what skeert-of-Obama ninnies have managed to accuse him of.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about that "weapon I’ve trained myself to use" stuff. Given the possibility of plane crashes and operating room mistakes, I wonder if he is also keeping his family safe by teaching himself surgery and airline piloting.
ReplyDeleteI cant log on to lgm while im out of town so im just going to put this here. You know the other thing thst pisses me off anout the continued flying of the dixie swastika? If these assholes want to pretend that it represents all south carolinians why arent these white neo confederate kooks demanding thst it fly at half staff? Like if you want go pretend its heritage not fuck you to death n people ok then, how do you get away with not pretending for five minutes that your "flag for all of us south carolinians" should be lowered. Im looking at you lindsay graham and nikki haley. What is it about the glag and the leguslature that makes it impossible to lower it?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know a guy who served in the Army and was deployed to Iraq, whom you might think would know better. But he basically said he'd be able to take out someone like Holmes in a darkened, crowded theater.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I get the training stuff, but the vast majority of humans don't have the superhuman abilities of discernment and reaction that would be required in this fantasy scenario--I don't care how much combat you've seen (and I'm fairly sure my friend saw some).
That whole article was amazingly weird, but the Benghazi bit took the cake. I mean, it's a show based on books from the 90's, which in turn were based on actual events from the Middle Ages, when Christianity held sway in England, so OF COURSE it's no coincidence. POMO Marxist Alinsky Ayers Benghazi, yep, that's BINGO all right!
ReplyDeleteSilly, Rice had a toy. Now if he'd been packing real heat...
ReplyDeleteYeah, that made me a little bit sick...
...
Let's be charitable and say that they need to follow the laws established by the legislature and signed into law.
ReplyDeleteWhy hasn't a bill changing this already flown through the legislature?
It's very simple.
ReplyDeleteToo many politicians who don't kowtow to the slack-jawed, gun and bible-clutchin' dumbasses who populate their electorate do not get (re)elected.
It's the very same reason gun laws will never be meaningfully modified - stupidity simply holds too much sway in America.
I used to describe exactly that scenario. A group of pistol packing patrons sitting in a dark theatre when an accidental discharge takes place and everybody starts firing. I was naive in thinking it might open a mind or two on the idiocy of the "If everybody was packing everyone would be safe" argument.
ReplyDeleteThen Aurora happened and all of the usual suspects were all about "If everyone had a gun..."
Making that argument removes all doubt that you are a fucking moron.
...
Lefty Chicago poet who exiled himself to Honolulu and struck up a sweet black guy–white guy friendship with Stanley Dunham, who would bring little Barack over once in a while when they were hanging out. Surely the most lovable character in "Dreams from my Father". So naturally in the winger imagination he's the mastermind who orchestrated Barack's fiendish plans of world revolution and the overthrow of civilization, and in some versions Barack's biological father.
ReplyDeleteWhat! You didn't carry your own firearm?
ReplyDeleteBefore Game of Thrones, I thought all horny, sardonic dwarfs were models of propriety.
ReplyDelete(Still haven't finished the first season, which we somehow ended up with on DVDs. Liked it, so I'm not sure why I stopped.)
Someone needs to re-interview that guy from the Gabby Giffords shooting, a bystander who acknowledged afterwards that he was in fact armed and very nearly shot one of the guys who was trying to disarm the gunman. As I recall it scared the hell out of him.
ReplyDeleteIs it me, or does it sound like Bullets and Bourbon is being held at "Rough Freak Lodge"?
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ David French, why would one own any pants or shorts that didn't allow for proper concealment of a firearm?
ReplyDelete"I Would Have Saved Them If I Could": A great American and patriot (David French) agonizes over his greatest hypothetical failure as a man: the day he left home without his gun pants on and had to stand by helplessly as street thugs slaughtered a busload of nuns and orphans bound for the Ted Cruz Religious Freedom rally.
I actually had someone tell me I should carry a gun.
ReplyDeleteI started to ask the top three questions that this person needed to hear, but demurred.
1.On Federal property?
2.At the fucking post office?
3. I'm already busting my ass standing and sorting mail for four hours, then driving it around bumfuck for another four. My feet will hurt even more. You don't even want me to have a goddamn can opener at work, much less a gun. Are you out of your fucking mind?
We've already had Faux ask if white people should be afraid to enter black churches.
ReplyDeleteLannister= Lancasters
ReplyDeleteStarks= Yorks
The author isn't trying to hide where he got his ideas. And that's cool. I like the dragons, which are apparently the solution to the Night Walkers. Haven't watched since 2nd season, but I enjoy reading reviews & spoilers.
Yes. A salad bowl. He is the Salad Shooter.
ReplyDeleteStephen Green sounds like Ned Flanders. That is some prime Texas hellscape there. It looks like the Federal prison outside of Butner, NC.
ReplyDeleteYep, the obvious solution to shootings by postal workers is to arm postal workers.
ReplyDeleteWho ya gonna shoot? The person shoving their hand in their pocket (to get their phone)? Because the sound "came from there"?
ReplyDeleteNo, the black person, of course.
At least Reagan would have honored him anyway.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su0Hvt6hTmA
The concept that I propose discussing, which Game of Thrones illustrates better than any show on television today, is this: Postmodern Pornography. How is pomo-porno different than the traditional variety? In much the same way that Barack Obama’s Saul Alinsky-style, pragmatic community-organizing Marxism differs from the more honest Marxism of his mentors Frank Marshall Davis, Derrick Bell, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, and Bernardine Dohrn.
ReplyDeleteYou can't convince me they aren't all AI programs created by some coder in Bulgaria.
In much the same way that Barack Obama’s Saul Alinsky-style, pragmatic community-organizing Marxism
ReplyDeleteMmm, I dunno. Not sure he has enough buzzwords in this phrase.
Thanks for picking up what I was laying down.
ReplyDeleteDerrick Bell was a hit or miss CF/RF for a few teams in the 90's. Had some pop, but was a bit of a nut. Maybe they are referring to someone else.
ReplyDelete#NotAllAlliancePlayers
ReplyDeleteBiathlon. If they can't meet minimum standards for speed and accuracy, tested at random 10 out of 12 times a year, they have to trade in their pistols and assault sporting rifles for a metal detector for landmine cleanup duty.
ReplyDeleteThere's a weekly spiff from the John Birch Society for the writer that manages to pack the most buzzwords into a single paragraph.
ReplyDelete"David Vitter, one of the least sympathetic Christians in the US Senate, is a notorious aficionado of prostitutes. We’re supposed to ignore that this is a man who chooses to pay sex workers to dress him up in diapers and then make him ejaculate. That’s just the status quo, no big deal, everybody does it in the world that Vitter and the thousands of operatives serving the Republican Party have decided to invest years of their lives into creating and glorify for a few dozen billionaires."
ReplyDeleteFTFY, Swindle.
I've been at war this summer and last with an invading horde of Asiatic beetles. Motherfuckers terrorize the shit out of my basil.
ReplyDelete#NotAllWankers
ReplyDeleteWait'll the harlequin beetles come in. Chickens won't even eat them.
ReplyDeleteThe situation's entertainment value for those reading about it later would certainly be improved.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a penalty for just listing them, tho.
ReplyDeleteWhat's fantastic is that he does not panic: He puts the safety on (you hear it click) and lowers the gun slowly to the ground) before moving away for treatment. So, apart from the fact that he fucking shoots himself, he is about as responsible a gun owner as they come. I REST MY CASE.
ReplyDeleteMy case being why not get rid of guns?
Oy, you're completely right: He's saying the problem isn't that there's people we need to fear because we've let them arm themselves like commandos -- the problem is that not enough people live in enough fear.
ReplyDeleteIn much the same way that Barack Obama’s Saul Alinsky-style, pragmatic community-organizing Marxism, Benghazi fueled Islamo-fascist. politically correct, Lena Dunham, Al Sharpton, Lenny Bruce, Lester Bangs jelly bean Boom!
ReplyDeleteGotta love the action shot of a hatchback riding through a puddle of water on its way to the ranch for some reason.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh -- now I see the existential threat to our civilization. There's no one more powerful in America than a POET.
ReplyDeleteYou can't make this shit up: "NRA board member blames Charleston
ReplyDeletePastor Clementa Pinckney for his own death
If he hadn't opposed concealed carry
bill when a senator, he would still be alive, Charles Cotton said"
That's a great story. There's no reason for him to have the gun there, other than it says something to him about who he is, right? And who he is depends on asserting superiority over people around him -- even old friends. I think this goes to "identity, not interests," but, like, how does this identity form? It's super interesting.
ReplyDeleteIs pragmatism bad now? I had always taken it for one of the hallmarks of American greatness. Maybe doing the real thing that actually works has a liberal bias, though... yeah, I can see that. Okay, out the window, pragmatism!
ReplyDeleteThe ___ pants....are actually a real thing. A loaded ____ is heavy. Like over two pounds worth of heavy. If you clip a ____ to the waistband of your average jeans, they're going to sag like crazy, which means your ____ flops around, and your ____ won't be where you expect it to be. Pants designed for ____ ____ have a big stiff piece of plastic sewn into them for stability.
ReplyDeleteUzis & Ouzo, Rifles & Rum or hey, why not branch out...Rifles & Reefer, Pistols & Crystal, Glocks & Glue...
ReplyDeleteI don't want to be anywhere near people who taught themselves how to use a gun.
ReplyDeleteI used to play the piano. Practicing and taking lessons is nothing like being on stage. And I certainly wouldn't have thought I knew how to play if I had taught myself. GUNS ARE DANGEROUS, YOU IDIOT. Real life isn't target practice.
I'm going to Hell for laughing at this, aren't I?
ReplyDeleteJohn Crawford picks up a pellet gun inside a Walmart, an item offered for sale at that store, and he gets gunned down.
ReplyDeleteWhite woman walks into and shops at Target with a 12 gauge shotgun strapped to her back, and not a thing happens.
But there might be TWO black persons!
ReplyDeleteNot responsive, but I was totally charmed by a bumper sticker outside the doctor's office today (I'm sure it's old hat, but I'd never seen it, in that or any other medium): "I long for the day when a chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned." [First 3 words not guaranteed accurate.]
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised he didn't try to shoot the bullet out of his leg.
ReplyDeleteHe missed Benghazi and Lisa Dunham.
ReplyDeleteThe logic--it unpacks itself!
ReplyDeleteI don't think we get those here. Yet. It's just a matter of time, I guess, like other foul creatures that weren't around here 30 years ago -- like armadillos and coyotes and urban deer.
ReplyDeleteI have this magnet on my fridge.
ReplyDeleteAll of them, Katie.
ReplyDeleteI think he's got an excellent case for suing the pants manufacturers. I mean, this is America, dammit! Why do they even make pants that can't be worn with your gun, huh?! And he can be joined by that idiot who shot his pants off at the wedding reception at the Waldorf Astoria last week.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that's part of the GOP 2016 platform.
ReplyDeleteWinner gets a nice plastic simulated-crystal butter dish.
ReplyDeleteWith this tragedy, Conservatives have publicly and officially announced that they will no longer accept any aspect of reality that does not conform to their desires.
ReplyDeleteI write this because, as others have noted, the converging Conservative response to this is coalescing around "He was targeting Christians!!!!" This despite the fact that the shooter stated before the shooting that he wanted to kill Black people because he hated Blacks and wanted to start a race war. And despite the fact that, while he was shooting Black people, he declared he was doing so because he hated Black people. And despite the fact that, once apprehended, he freely confessed that he killed the Black people because he hated Blacks and wanted to start a race war.
But, no--such "evidence" is just liberal posturing; such "facts" have no place in the discussion. It's all just hating on Christians, you see. (And further evidence that the answer to such violence is more guns.)
Come to Vermont and add urban moose to your list. Or move to New Jersey and add urban black bears.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the 87 year old grandma or the 75 year old sexton would have been far better off if they could have packed their heat at Bible study.
ReplyDeleteDo these assholes not get the incompatibility of thinking how someone would gather to pray together in Jesus' name while at the same time suspecting that maybe they'd have to kill one of their fellow worshippers?
I saw a yellow sticker with a coiled snake that said "Don't trend on my Obamacare" Gutsy, given that a TP asshole will first see the color and shape, but he'll finish reading it while he's snuggly patting himself on the back for identifying what he was sure was a fellow traveler.
ReplyDeleteAlso, one needs to take into account state of mind, feelings, and the ability to shift emotionally from empathetic benefactor to stone-cold killing machine.
ReplyDeleteIf one is a high school or middle school teacher, you're going to have to go through an emotional transformation to be able to shoot dead one of your young students, even if he is aiming a gun at you or others.
If you are an 87 year old grandmother, or a pastor, you are going to have to overcome some serious issues before you are going to kill someone you've just been praying with or ministering to.
If we expect teachers, or pastors, to continue to conduct their vocations while armed and ready to kill those they teach or minister to, we're already beyond the pale.
His advice was for WHITE people.
ReplyDeleteYeah, see? No more racism.
ReplyDeleteNo!
ReplyDeleteWell, I can't say for sure, but I'll see you there. We'll have beers and play Donkey Kong
I don't think anyone wants to deal with the lethal levels of butthurt that would cause among the "heritagederp" crowd.
ReplyDeleteDamn. I was waiting on the edge of my seat for him to pull out the gun and do it again!
ReplyDeleteAnd the fact that he brought it out to play with only underscores what the gun really means to him. It's a fetish object.
ReplyDeleteNobody tell David Swindle about all the sex slaves, er, "concubines" in the Bible. They're part of the "traditional marriage" he and his love to assert is "under attack"...
ReplyDeleteDerrick Bell was a Harvard Law professor. Obama hugged him once 20 years ago and got critical race theory cooties all over his black self.
ReplyDelete"In 1991, students at Harvard Law School organized rallies to support Derrick Bell, an African American professor who was taking an unpaid leave of absence to protest the absence of any women of color on the law school faculty. A young Barack Obama spoke at one such rally, calling on his fellow students to “open up your hearts and your minds” to Derrick Bell.
Now, a few weeks after Andrew Breitbart’s death, bloggers for his
site have released a video of that rally that Breitbart was preparing
and have written numerous articles arguing that, because Professor Bell highlighted racial injustice in America and advocated for the equal treatment of blacks, he was somehow anti-white and by implication anti-American — the Jeremiah Wright of this election season. By dragging Professor Bell through the mud, Breitbart’s cronies hope to drag President Obama down as well. It’s ironic that while Breitbart’s fans lambast the left for supposedly dancing on Breitbart’s fresh grave, they waited to reveal these tapes until a few months after Derrick Bell, at age 80, died from cancer and could no longer defend himself. So I will defend him:"
TIME
As if anyone surrounded by even "good guys with guns" isn't one backfiring car away from being in a John Woo movie ...
ReplyDeleteIt's just to weep.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm paying $1,699 I expect to get all likkered up and hunt humans.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there's a platinum-level membership they aren't telling us about.Close. At platinum level, you get to hunt for the most elusive of quarry to these guys ... basic human decency.
Fuck South Carolina:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/06/19/racist-talk-from-dylann-roof-s-judge.html
Perfect. Of course, if it ever does come into view they'll blow its brains out.
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to point out that these churchgoers were probably Democratic voters. So it's not as if they were actually Christians. If nothing else, they weren't even carrying pistols to Bible study, the way Real True Followers of the Prince of Peace do.
ReplyDeleteNeeds something about homosexuality being crammed down throats.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of people who might benefit from this advice, my first thought is of people like Dylann Roof's victims.
ReplyDeleteDidn't they make a movie about this, starring Robert DeNiro? I think he ended up a hero at the end.
ReplyDeleteI blame cowboy movies.
ReplyDeleteIt's always better when you have the screenwriters on your side.
ReplyDeleteLet the wrong sort seize the reins of Poet Laureate, and all government business will have to be conducted in villanelles. Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha--ha-haaa.
ReplyDeletePainful larfs. Again.
ReplyDeleteThis is what we're dealing with, by the way. Their wives need to tell them to cut this stupid shit out.
ReplyDeleteHeinrich Heine’s Poem “The German Censors”
ReplyDelete“The German Censors ————————–
———————————————
———————-idiots——————
————————————–.”
So true. In ninth grade, a friend told me his honors social studies class had to use a list of vocab words "in a meaningful sentence. You couldn't say, like, 'Jack saw the technician.'" Same thing here.
ReplyDeleteIs that better/
ReplyDeleteBOTH SIDES DO IT!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's another thing, you never hear about a YEC fundamentalist church getting shot up, it's always a black church or a liberal church (the Tennessee UU church shooting comes to mind). It's not the "christianity" that the shooters are targeting.
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me? It gets them out of the house, hopefully for days. Have some pity on their poor wives!
ReplyDeleteIt's a chain. They bought out Rick Perry's dad's hunt club.
ReplyDeleteStall mats everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion that the general direction of the pushback
ReplyDeleteon this gun lunacy needs to be that people who love guns aren't the only
ones who have rights.
One of your finest.
That was a bollard and not a parrot.
ReplyDeleteyour holster flops around
ReplyDeleteTMI! TMI!
Is that Jon Stewart on the target???
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite parts about the absolutely horrible training videos for the USPS was the extreme touchiness about workplace violence. One was narrated by the guy who played Sheriff Lobo.
ReplyDeleteGod will know his own
ReplyDelete