I haven't said anything about the douchebags who've already declared because a.) the prospect of a Ted Cruz presidency fills me with dread, not humor; it's like, "Haw, Hitler is 30 miles outside Paris!" b.) Even if she wins 50 states the Hitlery Klintoon candidacy will never be anything but sad to me -- sad in the way Robert Downey Jr. doing one more fucking Avengers movie is sad, and of course sad for the nation, but mostly sad because there cannot possibly be anything human about it -- even if she were suddenly struck with enlightenment or the seventh degree of concentration, even if she became luminous with self-knowledge, her campaign of necessity would be this big lumbering thing that demands attention for burritos (and gets it mainly from agents of arghblargh). Plus I may have to vote for her. c.) C'mon, Rubio's not old enough to run for President!
But this Pataki announcement blows the game wide open. Wait'll the kids get a load of the Pride of Peekskill! He's lawn-order, and he knows the rent is too damn low! He's every awful thing they want without the distracting layers of marketing that make the real candidates so extra loathsome.
c.) C'mon, Rubio's not old enough to run for President!
ReplyDeleteI had the same idea yesterday. Callow fucking youth indeed.
Many of us live much longer than the average 18th century American. If the right wants to delay Social Security eligibility until age 70 on this basis, then the President should have to be at least 50, not 35.
Bill Kristol's already shown the Neocons' hand. It's going to be Cheney and one of those girls from the Shining his daughter.
ReplyDeleteLast night I dreamed I was at a restaurant with Cheney and John Boehner. Cheney was wearing beige silk long underwear, and his colostomy bag broke while he was getting a toothpick at the front register. it was a mess.
On the positive side, Klintoon's candidacy will cause great agitation for our conservative nutcase friends. My FB feed is rife with it already.
ReplyDeleteOn the negative side, our country club liberal friends will skree from their perch above the 18th green whenever anyone criticizes Hitlery or her centrist (between right and far right) minions.
Taken together, there will just be too much hate to go around. And that's not even considering the possibility that Bush becomes the Republican nominee.
Ya pues. I miss the days of Reagan when I could just go off and live poor abroad when the nominal liberals and conservatives joined together to become such a reeking giant shitheap.
I well remember NY state under Patakai's leadership. I remember George in campaign mode screeching about how horrible it was for a governor to use the state-police helicopter to get around the state--and then George using the state-police helicopter more than any previous governor. I remember George decrying the use of state funds and personnel for non-state matters--and then George using state funds and personnel to renovate and landscape his personal home.
ReplyDeleteIn short, I remember Pataki being almost as colossal a dick as Rick Santorum, but having even less charm or principle.
If the right wants to delay Social Security eligibility until age 70 on this basis . . .
ReplyDelete. . . then let each and every person who advocates for raising the eligibility age be forced to work as a bricklayer or moving man until age 70. Then get back to me about how people are living longer and working longer.
Did the lonely echo of his voice after such a grand announcement eventually force him to rethink how he leans?
ReplyDeleteDrywall.
ReplyDeleteIf that's one of your dreams, please please please don't ever fill us in on your nightmares.
ReplyDeleteDid he shoot Boehner in the face? (IYKWIMAITYD)
ReplyDeleteRelated: Did this dream end with "The Aristocrats!"?
The Republican primary is looking more and more like a Gathering of the Juggalos. A Gathering of the Repubalos?
ReplyDeleteHeh. Republicans are the Insane Clown Party.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I feel a surge of apathy about the Hillary campaign, I remind myself that should she win, we'll discover new extremes of wingnut butthurt. Types of craziness even Obama couldn't tap. The amateur scientist in me is just a little intrigued.
ReplyDeletesad in the way Robert Downey Jr. doing one more fucking Avengers movie is sad
ReplyDeletethe internet has been slain this day; i am retiring to my study.
When you've got the likes of Pataki stepping into the breach, you know they know they're fucked.
ReplyDeleteOr an older guy with a desk job who had a heart attack, or especially a widow.
ReplyDelete"Without Social Security benefits, 52.6 percent of elderly women would have had incomes below the poverty line in 1997. Social Security reduced the poverty rate for elderly women to 14.7 percent."
Remember how there was that long stretch of "Anybody but Romney" tryouts last time? When they would pick another insane/stupid shitball from the lineup, who amazingly wasn't able to make a go of it, despite insane/stupid shitballs being the target GOP primary demographic? Well, there were those who said that Tim Pawlenty shouldn't have bailed at the beginning, because he wrapped a thin veneer of harmless nonentity around the same core of insane/stupid shitballery. He coulda been a contender.
ReplyDeleteSo consider Pataki as the answer to the dual problems of (1) another collection of psychopaths and dumbshits running for the nomination, and (2) Tim Pawlenty having way too much charisma.
the prospect of a Ted Cruz presidency fills me with dread, not humorWell, good news, then, because I'm currently visiting my parents, and in one sentence my father managed to dismiss Rubio, Paul, and Walker. Nope, the Canadian-born psychotic theocrat is his boy all the way right now. Of course, he'll enthusiastically gobble down whatever pile of pig shit the nomination process deposits in front of him, but he'd most prefer it to be Li'l' Rafael ... if only because the elder Cruz isn't running.
ReplyDeleteThe Juggalos are considerably more diverse, racially speaking. Also, considerably less crazy.
ReplyDeleteLately I admit I've been having a more bleak outlook, but I think Cruz is the candidate America deserves. Why settle for crypto-fascist when you can get the full thing?
ReplyDeleteEvery comedy troupe needs a good straight man.
ReplyDeleteIf Pataki were from Montana, he'd be perfect.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of amazed by Hillary's supposed poll numbers. Although most of the progs I know say they'll vote for her if she's up against any of the Pug meat puppets next Fall, nobody's really that jacked about her now. Her support is a mile wide and an inch deep.
ReplyDeleteRepublicans are the Insane Clown Potty.
ReplyDeleteFixed.
Every fucking POTUS candidate should have to live on a month's Food Stamp and TANF expenditure for their respective states.
ReplyDeleteTHEN you'll hear some butthurt.
If someone showed up to her left (not Chafee), she'd have to squirm a bit for the nomination. I'd like that. Let her explain her hawkish war policy and her views on banks. However, she might actually relish her own hippie punching moment, so the whole thing is probably spoiled.
ReplyDeleteThe dems looked at her in 08 and went with Obama instead. She's not shiny and new - she's an old and worn comfortable sweater. Nobody has to be jacked 19 months out.
ReplyDeleteBesides, all you need to get jacked is 6 months of a Republican primary, when the crazy will be running free.
Personally, and entirely anecdotally, I think her support among Dem wimmenz is wide and deep. It's a big bloc that will turn out in large numbers.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think too, when you poll hypothetical races between Clinton-[any Republican], her support base quickly solidifies. There's a sizeable left-wing generation that remembers Bush-Gore and fuck that clusterfuck forever.
The problem with that is that white women went for McCain in '08, and Romney in '12. Of course, Hillary is a much more pleasantly-hued candidate...
ReplyDeleteI'm holding out for Mr. Trump.
ReplyDeleteCripes, I initially mis-read that as "Mr. Tuna".
ReplyDeleteSorry Charlie.
ReplyDeleteSanders or Warren. Now that would be a show. Or Kerry, heh.
ReplyDeleteRepugs/Fox think people voted for Obama only because he is black, so obviously they'll vote for Curz, he's got a Hispanic-sounding name! Its how conservatives reason.
ReplyDeleteRoofing. carrying those 100lb packs up a ladder.
ReplyDeleteIn Louisiana. In summer.
Pataki has enough of a squishy record on the subject to appeal to all those pro-choice GOP primary voters.
ReplyDeleteAll thirty of them?
Was Judy Miller squatting on your chest?
ReplyDeleteBreak out the FAYGOP.
ReplyDeleteObama didn't support the Iraq war, which gave him the very slight edge in the primaries. That's ancient history and her time as Secretary of State gave her a different dimension. She's almost certainly the most widely respected woman in the world and a formidable politician with a legit bio. She has to run and not be Mark Penn's canvas, but I think she'll win comfortably.
ReplyDelete"Don't squeeze the toup... ahhhh! It's got meeee!!!! HELP!!!!"
ReplyDeleteIsn't that what they call a hot Karl Rove?
ReplyDeleteA Scooter Libby deluxe.
ReplyDeleteThe aspens must be turned toward the face.
ReplyDeleteTime will tell if she's learned how not to hire assholes and idiots.
ReplyDeleteHe and Alphonse D'Amato really would make a great ticket!
ReplyDeleteThis would also make a good entry for "If Twitter existed in the Year 1999", right alongside @TheREALBush's "Enoyin' Crawford, See Ya in Owia"
ReplyDeleteA lot of it is that Progressives are grossly overrepresented on the Internet relative to their numbers at the polling booth and as part of the Democratic base. They're also a lot more male than the base as a whole. With corresponding contrast in aggressiveness, loudmouthery, assigning themselves importance etc. As mostly economic Leftists and socially conservative in respects (restoring the eroding late Industrial Age class structure, its wealth apportionment, and power divisions is conservative) and moderates in most others, they're increasingly the outlier bloc of the party. Maybe its rightmost bloc, de facto. At least some of it shows up on paleocon blogs and shuns Democratic ones.
ReplyDeleteIt's not really a question of whether they're leaving the Democrats, imo. It's when.
For HRC supporters the 2008 go-around was sobering and disgusting. The Ted Kennedy establishment revived and came out for Obama and there was an obvious debt to be paid to black Americans. Clinton supporters took the defeat with a lot better (indeed remarkable) grace than Obama supporters would have and Edwards supporters did. Now it's a lot of the same anti-Clinton crap being hauled out as before.
The problem with enthusiasm, as in the 2010, 2012, and 2014 elections is the agenda. The realistic agenda, assuming a split or Republican Congress, is hard to like. But everyone thinks they can have the one they want.
Face it. We're essentially a nation of masochists.
ReplyDeleteWait, they're back up to thirty?
ReplyDeleteHow is any of this not exactly the fucking same as 2012, when a seemingly endless stream of simpletons was taking turns at Republican-front-runner-of-the-week status?
ReplyDeleteThe realistic agenda
ReplyDeleteThis is how you excuse Wall Street fellatio and more wars for corporate profits, people.
With corresponding contrast in aggressiveness, loudmouthery, assigning themselves importance etc.
Extra credit!
~
Enough snobbery. He's a great Iron Man, and he appears to enjoy the role. There is no shame -- no shame! -- in bringing Tony Stark to life and, in turn, being a vital component necessary to bring The Avengers to life. Although they're acknowledged by all to be fictional, their impact on society as heroes is unquestionable. And treating the role with the seriousness and the respect it deserves is the very least we can do.
ReplyDeletePlus, I prefer his voice for Stark over the Snidely Whiplash-type voice I'd previously given the character.
an embedded steamer
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of people named Robert Downey... I'm voting for PUTNEY SWOPE.
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/KP13OQo7L2Q
I really hope Bernie runs. He's got my primary vote. There's about a zero chance he'd win the nomination, but at least he'd force Hillary to make noises about doing something about the oligarchy this country has devolved into.
ReplyDeleteSo what I'm hearing is we'd all support Clinton replacing Downey in Avengers 3?
ReplyDeleteWhat, no sparkle pony?
ReplyDeleteCome on, Thunder, you ran out of steam.
A lot of it is that Progressives are grossly overrepresented on the Internet relative to their numbers at the polling booth and as part of the Democratic base.
For some reason the people who protest war jockeys and wall street giveaways aren't part of the base. Which tells you a lot about the base. Not that they count-most people would rather win than fight the base, naturally.
They're also a lot more male than the base as a whole.
My vagina represents!
With corresponding contrast in aggressiveness, loudmouthery, assigning themselves importance etc.
As they often say, the base finds standing up for liberal principles to be arrogant, aggressive and loud-mouth. Sit down and shut up!
As mostly economic Leftists and socially conservative in respects (restoring the eroding late Industrial Age class structure, its wealth apportionment, and power divisions is conservative) and moderates in most others, they're increasingly the outlier bloc of the party.
I guess that makes the base economic conservatives and who could argue with that? "Economic Leftists" are fringe anyway. And for some reason I can't figure out they want to restore the Gilded Age, which was restored by conservatives and the base via the lesser of two evils voting.
Maybe its rightmost bloc, de facto. At least some of it shows up on paleocon blogs and shuns Democratic ones.
If you're not with us you're against us.
It's not really a question of whether they're leaving the Democrats, imo. It's when.
And if they don't we'll help them. They're not One Of Us anyway.
For HRC supporters the 2008 go-around was sobering and disgusting. The Ted Kennedy establishment revived and came out for Obama and there was an obvious debt to be paid to black Americans. Clinton supporters took the defeat with a lot better (indeed remarkable) grace than Obama supporters would have and Edwards supporters did. Now it's a lot of the same anti-Clinton crap being hauled out as before.
If you are an economic liberal you are against Clinton. I thought that meant we are against economic exploitation but obvious that means to be against Clinton, and who could argue with that either?
The problem with enthusiasm, as in the 2010, 2012, and 2014 elections is the agenda. The realistic agenda, assuming a split or Republican Congress, is hard to like. But everyone thinks they can have the one they want.
Knock on wood, throw salt over your shoulder, whatever, but honestly? A Republican winning the 2016 election is not my biggest concern. Using '08 and '12 as a template, I'm anticipating a 300+ electoral vote victory and some wide coattails, especially given that Clinton has some support in the South that Obama never did. Yes, anything can happen, boundless reserves of stupidity, etc. I get it. But I don't see a reason to be particularly pessimistic either.
ReplyDeleteWhich is why, I think, there's such a deep current of apathy, regarding words like 'inevitable' thrown around this early, 8 goddamn months from the first primary! I'm totally in sympathy with the people who want a bit more of a fight before they settle down and vote against Cruz (don't think of it as a vote for Clinton, think of it as a vote against Cruz), and if Sanders doesn't run I'll write him in myself.
The Dems have a lot of weak spots, but performance in presidential elections is not, as of late, one of them.
Nah, it'll be something to talk about at cocktail parties. It's like the people who think it's a giggle to go slumming at resale shops.
ReplyDeleteShe can respond with ads that say to women "Your vagina is safe with me" of course that will just get the wingnuts going again on her secret lesbian life.
ReplyDeleteWhat comes to mind for me is the reference to "Governor Spacetaki" in NewsRadio. It's an immortalization that he doesn't really deserve.
ReplyDeleteHey cd, I hear the Lesser-of-two-evil's Trans-Pacific Partnership will be even better for us than B. Clinton's NAFTA.
ReplyDelete"In 2013, Joseph Stiglitz, a Keynesian economist, warned that the TPP presented "grave risks" and "serves the interests of the wealthiest."[14][106] Organized labour in the US argued that the trade deal would largely benefit corporations at the expense of workers in the manufacturing and service industries.[107] The Economic Policy Institute and the Center for Economic and Policy Research argued that the TPP could result in further job losses and declining wages.[108][109]
In December 2013, 151 House Democrats signed a letter written by Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) and George Miller (D-CA), which opposed the fast track trade promotion authority for the TPP. Several House Republicans opposed the measure on the grounds that it empowered the executive branch. In January 2014, House Democrats refused to put forward a co-sponsor for the legislation, hampering the bill's prospects for passage.[110]
In 2014, Noam Chomsky warned that the TPP is "designed to carry forward the neoliberal project to maximize profit and domination, and to set the working people in the world in competition with one another so as to lower wages to increase insecurity."[111] Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), who opposes fast track, stated that trade agreements like the TPP "have ended up devastating working families and enriching large corporations."[112] Economist Paul Krugman reported, "... I'll be undismayed and even a bit relieved if the T.P.P. just fades away," and said that "... there isn't a compelling case for this deal, from either a global or a national point of view." Krugman also noted the absence of "anything like a political consensus in favor, abroad or at home."[113] Economist Robert Reich contends that the TPP is a "Trojan horse in a global race to the bottom, giving big corporations and Wall Street banks a way to eliminate any and all laws and regulations that get in the way of their profits."[114][115]"
They must not be One Of Us either.
Shall we start the countdown now for when the "Clinton Body Count" rumor mill gets going again.
ReplyDeleteNever have I felt so privileged to live in Rhode Island. My ex-governor is looking to run for President too. He's doing it to troll Hillary, and there's some honor - or at least a little fun - in that.
ReplyDeletePataki, by contrast, is trying to get the waiter's attention while the busboy is putting chairs on top of all the tables. Just sad.
The Hillary Clinton/Huma Abedin sex tape will be the Whitey Tape of '16.
ReplyDeleteToo bad it doesn't have a head for Roy to sever and hold aloft.
ReplyDelete"Fortunately Lord Vader escaped without harm. Our hearts go out to the families of the victims."
ReplyDeleteSplitter!
ReplyDeleteSlight correction: Obama won three ex-Confederate states in '08 and two in '12, so he's got some Southern support. I'm willing to believe that Hillary has him beat among white Southerners, however.
ReplyDeleteRepublicans haven't won a popular vote majority in a presidential election since 1988.
ReplyDeleteIf these rumors I'm hearing about enough Senate Dems defecting to that shitheel Corker's plan to sink the Iran deal turn out to be true, I won't be voting for any of the fuckers.
ReplyDeleteIt's Huntsmania 2.0!!!
ReplyDeleteIf you were having dinner with Cheney and Boehner and both started choking at the same time and you could only give the Heimlich to one of them, would you order another drink, dessert, or both?
ReplyDeleteNo, take their offshore and brokerage accounts, and then change the passwords, shred them and send them a telegram from an undisclosed location saying that all their money has been donated to the Huey P. Newton scholarship fund.
ReplyDeleteIf you want them to hurt, you got to make it real to them, y'know?
Charisma is greatly overrated, especially from the moment that it became a satisfactory substitute for actual workable policy proposals, but, truth is, Georgie Boy ain't got none of either.
ReplyDeleteI do hope that he at least makes a stab at the Iowa caucuses, if only because we really deserve some giggles before he plunges face-first into the electoral hog manure pit.
Palooka: "I'm leaning toward a presidential run."
ReplyDeleteEcho: "Oh, fuck meeeee, fuckmeeee, fuckmeee, fuckmee, fuckme."
Geez, I'll bet the warm-up for family Thanksgiving dinner for you is three or four Klonopin and a half-bottle of Wild Turkey.
ReplyDeleteChrist, if I were you, I'd be using the turkey stuffing for earplugs fifteen minutes into the meal....
Not sado-masochists? Republicans assuming the "sado-" part, with Democrats the latter?
ReplyDeleteWhy not? Alphonse needs at least one more chance at indictment.
ReplyDeleteAnd that was only because Willie Horton voted four million times.
ReplyDeleteIf Peggy Noonan crafted every syllable to emerge from Pataki's mouth, he'd still come off like the president of the Rotary Club addressing a high school graduation.
ReplyDeleteThis. His campaign is dead the minute his flight touches down in Iowa; there are enough mediocre former governors from flyover states to fill whatever role Pataki is supposed to be filling.
ReplyDeleteAnd when Jesus's Thirteenth Apostle gets elected, the Wingnut PA system will be there to pat us on the back, tell us all what a great choice we made, and how wonderful it is that AMERICA! can finally realize its destiny as a warrior nation for Christian capitalism.
ReplyDeleteBecause 2012 taught the Pugs that they failed because they put up a squishy moderate who didn't have the guts to really shove the core conservative principles of the Master Race down the throat of the Kenyan Usurper. They won't make that mistake again.
ReplyDeleteIt's already going if you read Politico comments!
ReplyDeleteTruly, Clinton is blessed by her enemies.
ReplyDeleteAlways, always room for more clowns in the car.
ReplyDeleteIt would be hilarious (ahem) if she had a cameo in the Black Widow movie that Marvel Studios desperately needs to make. Extra hilarity if the movie is a sort of origin story and she's Natasha's Russian mentor/nemesis.
ReplyDeletePlus, of all the people who would potentially age out of a superhero role because of it getting harder to get really pumped up as you get older, the guy in an exoskeleton is the last one that would have that problem.
ReplyDeleteSee, what I'm sort of scared of is that they will front someone like Cruz who would normally be unelectable, but end up squeaking in through a combination of Dems not showing up to vote because nobody expects him to win, the teabaggers showing up in droves, and lots of Dems who would otherwise vote being disenfranchised by new and confusing voter registrationrestriction laws.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that comes to mind for me, oddly, is the TV ad that Rudy Giuliani did endorsing Mario Cuomo. I'm convinced that part of the reason that Cuomo lost was that people were intimidated and/or turned off of Cuomo by Rudy's sunken, dead-eyed stare.
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that part of the GOP's thing is that they actually dig people who are batshit insane and/or terminally dumb to some degree; look at the last three presidents they elected. (Shit, look at Nixon, and even the unelected-but-still-nominated Ford fits.) It's the Hold-My-Beer-And-Keep-The-Camera-On-Me part of the GOP psyche that finds its apotheosis in the inexplicable continued attention paid to Sarah Palin and her toxic brood.
ReplyDeleteNever go full wingnut.
ReplyDelete2004?
ReplyDeleteYour, ah, intriguing dream notwithstanding, Liz Cheney has little juice after her Senate run flameout, and Dick less (heh). Taking to the WSJ editorial page in an attempt to bully Obama into putting boots back on the ground in Iraq may make Billy Kristol breathless, but Americans are sick of war, no matter how many cartoon bombs Bibi Netanyahu flashes.
ReplyDeleteHouse-framing, in a Central California summer, with 95 F temps and humidity in the 20s.
ReplyDeleteI think we're starting a couple months earlier, but I might be mistaken. Feels earlier.
ReplyDeleteI like it. Maybe re-lyric "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" from wymyn-friendly Cabaret:
ReplyDeleteRepublican men think you’re angel or whore
Consent is for them, not for thee
They laugh at abortion and rape, but your
Vagina is safe with me
Well, she's 0-for-1 on the logo-creating front.
ReplyDeletea warrior nation for Christian capitalism.Yeah, "Gott mit uns" meets "Arbeit macht frei." What could go wrong?
ReplyDeleteI remember because of how Bush supporters said he had a huge mandate because he had received the most votes of any Presidential candidate ever. They neglected to mention that the second highest total to that point were cast for John Kerry.
ReplyDeleteJesus, what did the poor Juggalos ever do to you to deserve that kind of slander?
ReplyDeleteAnother drink, because if I were having dinner with Cheney and Boehner, I'd have to be completely 'faced to start with.
ReplyDeleteOk, ok, forgive me but....omg omg omg I just had the most awesome concept idea ever.
ReplyDeleteOne word: RoboChrist
Someone get the Ole Perfesser and Rod Dreher on the line.