Wednesday, March 11, 2015

GULF WAR III - THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM!

I found this charming video via the (so-far) single-tweet account of the American Security Initiative, which Ryan Cooper of The Week informs me is basically Saxby Chambliss, Evan Bayh, and Norm Coleman trying to sabotage a deal with Iran. (Jennifer Rubin refers to it as a "bipartisan group," which pretty much proves it's bullshit.)



To summarize, a sinister van drives into what looks like Toronto, while the radio plays clips of those great Americans Lindsay Graham and Bibi Netanyahu warning us about Iran's nuclear ambitions. But ha, too late, Obama sold us out and blam -- the nuclear device blows the doors off the back of the van.  (The van rears up like a horse just before the explosion, which may be how fission works; I was never good at physics.) Then we hear one lonely siren, indicating the nuclear explosion has wiped out several whole blocks of Toronto.

I wonder how they would be talking to us if they respected our intelligence?

152 comments:

  1. Brother Yam3:07 PM

    I wonder how they would be talking to us if they respected our intelligence?

    Fuck that, they don't even respect the intelligence of their own marks supporters.

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  2. Ya know: If I had a neighbor up the block who kept making noises about invading my home and killing me with the guns he and his family already have, I'd be very strongly motivated to buy some guns for my family. Why the hawks in America can't figure out this simple causality is beyond me.

    How would they talk to us if they respected our intelligence? Exactly the way they talk to us now. Things like this are the acme of THEIR intelligence and reasoning ability.

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  3. Brother Yam3:10 PM

    Also, a fatal plane crash is the only reason we're talking about Pipsqueak Extrodinaire, Norm Coleman.

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  4. Ted the slacker3:11 PM

    I'm so old I remember Condi's infamous warning, that we don't want the smoking gun to be a hilariously shitty exploding van.

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  5. ColBatGuano3:13 PM

    Evan Bayh should be airdropped into Mosul to lead the fight against ISIL. As quickly as possible.

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  6. The three card monty guy never tells you that the game is rigged

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  7. Ted the slacker3:16 PM

    It seems fair. After all, we've armed every other purported enemy of Iran, why should ISIS get treated differently?

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  8. Brother Yam3:18 PM

    Though I have to admit, I see the flaw in my comment -- that their marks supporters have intelligence. "Assuming facts not in evidence."

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  9. satch3:22 PM

    Wow... the Wingnuts have never gotten over the "Daisy Ad", have they?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDTBnsqxZ3k


    P.S.: I loved the way the guy driving the van with the nuclear bomb which will wipe out Toronto slams on the brakes to avoid hitting a pedestrian.

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  10. Gromet3:26 PM

    You libertard fools! As long as there's no agreement, there's NO WAY Iran could ever build and smuggle a van-sized nuke into Toronto!

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  11. satch3:28 PM

    Well, after all, the FULL W.C. Fields quote is "Never give a sucker an even break, or smarten up a chump".

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  12. satch3:31 PM

    Did somebody say "Acme"?
    http://www.foundation3d.com/plugins/p13_download_manager/images/1429.jpg

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  13. Megalon3:33 PM

    Parthian War 2: Atomic Van-aloo

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  14. Helmut Monotreme3:40 PM

    They do respect our intelligence. The video does not feature actual sock puppets.

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  15. If you want to see the intelligence level of their "supporters," just sign up for their mailing list. You'll be inundated with spam for gold buying, survival materials, reverse mortgages, penny-stock deals that can't go wrong, every quack medical cure, diet information, and hundreds of other scams. Their supporters are fertile ground this stuff.

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  16. I presume that the appropriate people are already working on an improved version of this comedy short. Ideally, it needs to be interspersed with clips of the sinister-yet-hilarious terrorists, and the intrepid-yet-feckless black ops team that are on their trail.

    [Cut to dimly-lit interior of the Iranian command center. KAABA ONE is seated in shadow on a throne]

    KAABA ONE: Thank Allah that we avoided crushing sanctions against our supposed development of strategic nuclear weapons, or we would never have been able to sneak a nuclear car bomb into North America. Are they in position?

    HENCHMAN: Yes, O Ayatollah of Ayatollahs.

    KAABA ONE: Then send ... the "go" order.

    [Cut to rooftop in Generic North American City, where MAJOR GUY CHRISTIAN of Alpha Force is staring keenly into the middle distance]

    SPARKS: We've intercepted a radio transmission from the van, sir. It's not in English.

    MAJOR GUY CHRISTIAN: Farsi?

    SPARKS: Not until you give me back my binoculars, sir.

    [Cut to interior of van]

    OMAR: Roger that, Kaaba One. See you in Paradise. Detonating ...now!

    [Cut to exterior shot of van, just as the doors blow off the back]

    [Cut to interior of van. OMAR and MUHAMMED are sitting there blankly, soot-faced]

    OMAR: Remind me never to buy fissionable materials from Niger.

    MUHAMMED: Uh ...

    OMAR: Wait, you did get the fissionable materials from Niger, right?

    MUHAMMED: Well, Niger's pretty far, and you said "yellowcake," so I called the local bakery ...

    OMAR: I'd behead you, but it apparently wouldn't slow you down any.

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  17. That's only because all their gym socks are no longer flexible enough to use as puppets.

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  18. "Of course! Lager, the only thing that can kill a vanaloo!"

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  19. Gromet3:45 PM

    Also the stringent clipboard-based security checkpoint at that... ordinary parking deck.

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  20. butcher pete3:46 PM

    No. Arm ISIL to take out ISIS. Iraq to take out Iran. Iran to take out the Sandinistas. Israel to take out the AFL-CIO. Problem solved.

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  21. Megalon4:14 PM

    What about Dick Goodhair, the rightful president who returns from a cruel and unjust exile to lead the fight against the diabolical genius known only as The Kenyon?

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  22. Marion in Savannah4:17 PM

    Better you than me. I get enough spam as it is...

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  23. Marion in Savannah4:18 PM

    What did that college in Ohio do in order to be upgraded to "diabolical genius?" Can anyone get that ranking?

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  24. Gromet4:22 PM

    Let's game this out. We have two main options: 1) There's no deal with Iran, so Iran builds nukes. 2) There's a deal with Iran, in which case a) Iran has real incentive to not build nukes, but possibly b) Iran builds them anyway.

    In the event of b), what happens? Iran either i) keeps them secret and in reserve for an existential crisis, e.g., they are attacked and Tehran is about to fall, or ii) they announce they have them right away because they believe the gains in regional influence will outweigh the global condemnation, or iii) they secretly let them loose in the world, smuggling them to agents to blow up Toronto, Vancouver, Winnipeg -- any western town where vans are rented -- so that they can damage us badly while clinging to a "Who, meeee? But I don't have any bombs!" defense.

    This video is concerned with 2)b)iii, which is the least likely scenario. It supposes that the Iranians will assume using nukes is just a means to further diplomatic goals and that their detonation won't send the US careening in any dangerous-to-Iran directions. Sure, nuke Toronto and boom, the west slides into economic and political turmoil, and Iran rises, relative to the decline, in world importance -- but come one. It would take experts about two hours to conclude the bomb wasn't an old Soviet device and no, it's not a shitty Korean near-dud, and then it just remains for the unfortunate US President to pick out which target in Iran gets our first A-bomb since Nagasaki. What is Qom in 40 minutes, Alex?

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  25. Offer courses in logic?

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  26. Marion in Savannah4:24 PM

    Trust me here — NOTHING that involves Saxby Chambliss (may he rot in hell) is worth that much thought.

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  27. Jay B.4:25 PM

    So...Iran's "nuclear ambitions" are to have enough nuclear materials to hire some off-brand terror group ("Why pay infidel Hamas prices, when Amas gives you better price?") enough uranium scat to dirty bomb Canada?


    This is terror level Eggshell.

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  28. Megalon4:26 PM

    Death Collage: The Collage that eats.

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  29. Or putting it another way, who are they talking to?

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  30. Don't you see? It's miniaturization that's the real threat. After the car nuke there'll be tiny letter nukes they can just mail from Iran, to blow off our fingers, one at a time.

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  31. Lurking Canadian4:44 PM

    We need to invade Iran because of their WMD.

    Also they will welcome us as liberators.

    The beauty of it is they only need to change one letter.

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  32. Here's a question for everyone: if the same right wing fucktards at play in the current Iran brouhaha were around, and held the same positions and agitated the same way during the Cuban Missile Crisis, what would the world look like today?

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  33. coozledad4:53 PM

    Hambiscuits will show them yankee congressers how a South Carolina girl swings her pisser!
    You laugh now, but wait till he sends in that peanut-oiled Spartan phalanx!

    http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2015/03/sen-lindsey-graham-as-president-i-would.html

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  34. Rugosa4:58 PM

    Heck, why don't we just open up a big warehouse full of weaponry and let every nut job in the Middle East check them out as desired? I'm thinking of the state liquor distributors in Pennsylvania - stacks and stacks of beer cases, cash on the barrelhead. It would probably be more efficient than the game of eeny, meeny, miny, moe that we're playing to try to pick the good guys.

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  35. coozledad4:58 PM

    Not OSU.

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  36. Rugosa4:58 PM

    Canadians are sooo nice!

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  37. coozledad5:00 PM

    West. Texas

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  38. Marion in Savannah5:00 PM

    Hell, why even bother to change anything? Just drag out all the old copy and blame a secretary for a typo...

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  39. Damn you! I was going to point that out. I might have known the alicuratti were on the case.

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  40. Ted the slacker5:01 PM

    That would be the libertarian solution. Get big gubmint out the way of the military-industrial complex.

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  41. As a fellow Georgian, I share that sentiment regarding Chambliss.

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  42. petesh5:03 PM

    If they had a realistic view of their own intelligence (as well as of yours, sir), what they would be saying is presumably, "Would you like fries with that?"


    Alas, life is not fair that way.

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  43. Becuase although its always projection with these people what they are projecting is so stupid that they can't even figure out what their imaginary opponents are doing. I was reading a long thread somewhere about the OU students being expelled. Some moron-american comes on (it was over on an english newspaper site) and says bitterly "I wish we would take ISIS as seriously as [the OU President did in expelling the students.]" I believe her point was that something something something we are harsh with our little college frat boys when we should really be dealing with ISIS. Because 1) you can't do both and 2) President Obama and the grumpy black people (the name of my new band, btw) are spending all their energy and phlogiston getting innocent white boys expelled instead of killing everyone in ISIS.

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  44. gocart mozart5:07 PM

    Only a good guy with an I.E.D. can stop a bad guy with an I.E.D.

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  45. I watched Condi make her "mushroom cloud" statement on TV, sitting with my family. I said "Jeez, if the terrorists had a Nuke, why'd they fly planes into the WTC?" The menfolk in my family shouted "SHUT UP!" at me. They were diggin' the propaganda.

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  46. They want to believe!

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  47. Henk_sg5:17 PM

    I believe if you check the country of manufacture on their arms you'll find US of A on the majority of them.

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  48. BigHank535:18 PM

    So I watched that shitty thing--twice--and it finishes up with that ominous voice intoning "No Iran nuclear treaty without Congressional approval."

    Let's take advantage of our DARPA-funded intertoobz and skip over to Wikipedia and check on the USA's treaty ratification process:

    The President may form and negotiate, but the treaty must be advised and consented to by a two-thirds vote in the Senate.
    Only after the Senate approves the treaty can the President ratify it.
    Once a treaty is ratified, it becomes binding on all the states under
    the Supremacy Clause.


    So the braniacs behind the ad want the President to do...what he's already legally obligated to do. Maybe that Article of the Constitution isn't one that they wank over.

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  49. GeniusLemur5:20 PM

    The right wing scammers aren't brilliant snake oil salespeople. They've just found an audience desperate to buy snake oil.

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  50. Conservatives/repugs don't respect intelligence. They create their own reality while the rest of us live on a rapidly heating planet, they insist an Ice Age is coming. Any day now, right after Iran or Iraq nukes the US.

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  51. BigHank535:21 PM

    Honestly, it doesn't matter who the fuck gets armed as long as the Middle East heats up and puts crude oil back over $90 a barrel. [/koch]

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  52. GeniusLemur5:22 PM

    Especially since Iraq, which didn't have nuclear weapons, got invaded because of their WMD, and North Korea, which does have nuclear weapons, didn't.

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  53. GeniusLemur5:23 PM

    Well, it worked for Saddam, back before he invaded Kuwait and we "realized" he was the evilest evil that ever eviled an evil deed.

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  54. GeniusLemur5:27 PM

    "Maybe that Article of the Constitution isn't one that they wank over."
    I didn't see "Amendment 2" in front of it, so no.

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  55. Quinn Martin5:31 PM

    Is this the new trailer for 24? I thought that show went off the air.

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  56. If the nukes start flying, we'll have a global hot-flash. Followed by nuclear winter. So they'll be right after all, and their bouncing ashes can say, "Suck it, Libtards!"

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  57. Hey! Was most of that video lifted from Arlington Road?

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  58. PersonaAuGratin5:38 PM

    He would also handcuff the doorknobs of the Capitol to make sure nobody gets out:
    https://youtu.be/AJRVOvho_RA

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  59. It's like they're prepared for ANYTHING--those ISILIS guys really are a threat.

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  60. I hate when propaganda is well-made and effective. This is bound to influence people.

    Similarly, i hate that Netanyahu has a good speaking voice, deep and serious-sounding. I'm embedding a YouTube montage of past clips of him encouraging the United States to invade Iraq. Even though I know that everything he's saying is wrong, I can't help but notice how persuasive he sounds. He SOUNDS as though he's making sense.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpQdg4D78Jc

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  61. I just want to point out that not ALL of us menfolk were diggin' it.

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  62. I reckon it's too much to expect for the nuclear winter to cancel out the effects of global warming...

    Hey, I DO try to look for the bright side.

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  63. JennOfArk5:55 PM

    What the baggers are upset about is that we're even talking to Iran, instead of invading them already.


    There is no treaty or agreement that would deter them from the long-cherished desire to finally have it out with the ayatollahs once and for all in a full-on armed conflict.


    Problem is, recent history has shown that we pretty much suck when it comes to full-on armed conflicts in the middle east - even in puny countries like Iraq and Afghanistan, which have populations less than half the size of Iran's. Americans - even some of your more loony-tune conservatives - currently have little taste for another middle eastern adventure.


    That should be the only response to this bullshit: an exhaustive list of video & sound clips of Republicans agitating for war with Iran for the last 30 years. To drive it over and over into peoples' minds that a vote for a Republican - any Republican - is a vote for another middle-eastern morass.


    Same guys who have been caterwauling about reducing the deficit and paying off debt are now clamoring to run up a hefty tab for another dick measuring contest, because trying to talk things out is for pussies.

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  64. swkellogg5:55 PM

    Good analysis. Nuclear forensics has become pretty refined since the birth of the bomb and anyone sophisticated enough to build one knows it (and thus has proper incentive to keep that shit locked down tight). I doubt even Pakistan's arsenal has ever been even remotely at risk, despite it's location(s).


    But this isn't really about this is it?


    Of course saying that it's about Israel's right to blow anything in the region to smithereens with impunity by dint of strategic dominance is just too short on the sex for prime time.


    So bye bye Toronto.

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  65. swkellogg6:01 PM

    That's too bad.


    Even as a kid I wanted to see Lamb Chop vaporized.

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  66. Jaime Oria6:02 PM

    Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if some arm of SAVAK (or whatever the post-Shah Iranian intelligence arm is called) is snooping around the region, including neighboring Russia, making sure some cell or other of loose cannon Islamic nutters doesn't get their hands on a device of whatever provenance. Because if Toronto or Detroit goes boom, some Iranian city gets moved up the targeting list post-haste.

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  67. JennOfArk6:03 PM

    OT, but....Bwhahahahaha!

    I speculated yesterday that Sen. Snopes' letter to the ayatollahs must have been written on the advice of Bill Kristol . . . et voila.

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  68. Marion in Savannah6:11 PM

    If morons are howling for blood and war you can almost always find Bloody Billy (Always Wrong About Everything All The Time) Kristol has his filthy fingerprints all over it.

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  69. Gameron28526:14 PM

    Looks like a trailer for Inceptions 2? Whose dream does this belong to? Saxby Chambliss, Evan Bayh, and Norm Coleman, Jennifer Rubin, Bibi?


    Where is Leonardo?

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  70. tigrismus6:22 PM

    Chambliss would be stuck using monosyllables no matter what he thought of your intelligence, bless his little heart.

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  71. TGuerrant6:55 PM

    Let's just arm those Romney boys and send them over under the leadership of Lt. Colonel Bill Kristol. They'll whip the whole damn region into subservient profitability in no time!

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  72. TGuerrant6:58 PM

    Intelligence is such a flexible concept.

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  73. coozledad7:04 PM

    Where are the sequins?

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  74. Mr. Wonderful7:08 PM

    Typo schmypo. This is the digital age. A search-and-replace and Bob's your uncle. Happily, none of the neocon writings, podcasts, or musical comedy skits have to be changed.PNAC IS BACK, BABY!

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  75. Look, I know the Maple Leafs really suck hard this season, but...

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  76. arcadesproject7:32 PM

    Eye-Ran? On what fucking planet is 'Eye-Ran'?

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  77. The menfolk in my family shouted "SHUT UP!" at me.

    I remember talking to my father during the run-up to the invasion. I asked why we should be worried about supposed Iraqi nukes when China has nukes, and so does Israel, and Pakistan, and...

    This also earned a "SHUT UP" from Dad, though I think he was mostly freaked out. I wonder if that's part of it, propaganda creates an emotionally satisfying scenario. If the scenario won't hold together it feels freaky.

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  78. John Wesley Hardin8:07 PM

    When the terrorists stop at the parking garage entrance, you can't see the driver's face but you can see he has a beard. Fucking hipsters.

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  79. satch8:12 PM

    "...the stringent clipboard-based security checkpoint..."

    Hmm. OK Sir... one nuclear bomb. Check...

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  80. John Wesley Hardin8:16 PM

    #notallmen indeed. I marched in the streets against Shrubby's Big Adventure, for all the fuckin' good it did.

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  81. John Wesley Hardin8:17 PM

    Ah, the Domino Theory in reverse.

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  82. North Korea, which very publicly restarted its nuke program AND tested a nuke, during Gulf War II, was taught a lesson when Bush sent more troops into Iraq. And ... Uh. Something.

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  83. I wonder how much the militarindustrial complex paid them to put their names on this shite?

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  84. montag29:23 PM

    This seems to be the PSA equivalent of Bibi's cartoon bomb at the UN, so it will probably work on the mouthbreathers and the fringier Republicans, but, geez, c'mon, this Wily Coyote approach to foreign policy really hasn't worked.

    Truth is, the doomsayers have been predicting that Iran would have nuclear weapons within five years ever since 1980. They go on doing so because the combination of "scary ayatollahs" in funny headgear + nuclear weapons is irresistible to the fearmongers. It's a winner in the fear marketing division of the policy elite.

    The real motivations continue to be obvious as hell. !) The American imperialists hate that a reliable client state managed to break away from their grip. 2) Having established Israel as our nuclear bulldog in the Middle East, even the mere thought of a challenge to Israel's nuclear hegemony is anathema to them. 3) Israel's expansionist "Greater Israel" policies have been resisted by two groups, Hezbollah in Lebanon, and Hamas in Gaza, both of which have received support from Iran, and without regime change in Iran, Israel cannot pursue its aims to annex everything up to the Litani River in Lebanon without resistance, and it is therefore necessary to paint Iran as a terrorist state to build support for regime change. 4) Without control of Iran's oil and gas, the US and certain countries in Western Europe might not be able to check Iran's influence on China and India, and that we cannot have, since that might suggest to other lesser nations that we don't actually run the entire world, as we are wont to think.

    Now, Iran will continue to muddle along because that's what religious states do, whether or not we interfere with them. But, the hotheads in this country and in Israel have been itching for a military confrontation ever since 1979, in part because they're the worst examples of American demands for instant gratification, and because the right wing in Israel and the right wing in this country have been sharing their worst attributes and methods.

    But, if they're going to reduce foreign policy to the level of a cartoon, the least they can do is recall that Wily Coyote always gets hoisted on his own petard. Often literally, and always figuratively. What this little exercise says to me is: "Foreign Policy by ACME™"

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  85. coozledad9:25 PM

    As always, there's a huge silence about Texas oil and the Reaganites sabotage of the hostage negotiations.
    Republicans are ass-pussy for cash. If they're upset about anything, it's the price of oil.

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  86. JennOfArk9:40 PM

    A lot of people - us included - forget that on the eve of the invasion, 64% (or was it 67%?) of the American public did not support the war, absent a broad international coalition similar to that of the Gulf War. Of course that coalition was never formed, which is how we got "what about Poland?" and then after the neocons pulled the metaphorical trigger, everyone was expected to "support the troops" and drink a big cup of shut the fuck up, or else.


    I remain infuriated by the SCLM's drumbeat for war - as I've related before, the entirety of CNN's coverage of the anti-war protests - which around 10 million people (maybe more) participated in - consisted of a brief 20 second "report" that it was going on. Keep in mind, a global protest of this size was unprecedented in human history, but CNN chose to instead air an in-depth "report" on "what reporters are doing to get in shape for covering the war." See, here it is, 12 years later, and I'm still mad as hell about it.


    But I do remain cheered that, in the face of such blatant media manipulation, over half of our citizenry saw the folly in the neocon's illusions of "cakewalks" etc. Though of course it didn't stop it from happening, and since they got away with it, it will happen again.

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  87. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:49 PM

    I wonder how they would be talking to us if they respected our intelligence?

    They wouldn't. They'd be too busy crapping their pants. But wait, that's what they're doing anyway, isn't it? Well fuck, I dunno then...

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  88. i too would enjoy to be armed

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  89. AGoodQuestion10:06 PM

    So the driver of the van got so bored listening to these assholes pontificate that his head exploded? Man, I can so relate.

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  90. AGoodQuestion10:08 PM

    I too was part of the focus group that Shrub and DickPain weren't listening to.

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  91. AGoodQuestion10:18 PM

    True. The whole concept of respect for intelligence doesn't seem to be part of their makeup at this point.

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  92. Jon Hendry10:25 PM

    Well, man-made carbon emissions will drop precipitously, so that'd help. Once the foliage and buildings stop burning.

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  93. AGoodQuestion10:26 PM

    "I wish we would take ISIS as seriously as [the OU President did in expelling the students.]"
    It's always projection, but that doesn't mean you can't sweeten the cocktail with some ill-concealed racial animus.

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  94. Jon Hendry10:28 PM

    On Fox News they keep talking about "controlling Iran's influence in Iraq". Dudes, they're right next door, they're co-religionists of most Iraqis, they visit holy sites in Iraq. They're a natural ally for most Iraqis. Iraqis are most likely asking Iran, "How can we control American influence in Iraq?"

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  95. JennOfArk10:34 PM

    Yeah but, that's not the way the world really works anymore. We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors … and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.


    Which is why we're now studying how to limit the influence of Iran on a country where they had no influence, until we acted to create the current reality.

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  96. AGoodQuestion10:37 PM

    If the masturbation hasn't made them blind, it's at least given them severe tunnel vision.

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  97. AGoodQuestion10:42 PM

    Where is Leonardo?
    This is all so idiotic that he and the other three Ninja Turtles are sitting it out.

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  98. Ripley11:45 PM

    Bayh?Evan Bayh!? He owes me $20! He knows why.

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  99. Very interesting is great what you learn every day nice http://posadasturisticas.com.ve/

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  100. Somebody set up us the Obama!

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  101. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:42 AM

    Can't help but picture Wile E Muhammad and his not-twin-but-how-can-you-tell-they're-fuckin'-coyotes brother in that van. Oh, and the yellowcake would have to be from Acme, of course...

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  102. Don't forget the mind-boggling profits for the arms manufacturers!

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  103. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:44 AM

    Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb a van...

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  104. How about supporting a "strong man" who could counteract the sectarian militias? The sort of man who could meet with a special envoy to cut a deal to discommode those Iranians! What could possibly go wrong with that?

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  105. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person2:02 AM

    Derelict's snark below about the footage being lifted from Arlington Road made me break down and watch it. Jesus F Christ in a pink tutu, are they fucking serious with this shit? A freshman cinematic arts prof would toss it back at the student with extreme prejudice. And besides, Holllllywood does it better every day. In fact, they do it better, even in the direct-to-DVD crap even the drive-ins won't play. How can they not be embarrassed by this?

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  106. mrstilton6:41 AM

    I didn't see the second half and only the second half of "Amendment 2" in front of it, so no
    FTFY.

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  107. mrstilton6:45 AM

    Plus, that one time, he showed a really scary-looking picture of a bomb. What more proof do you need?!

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  108. Gabriel Ratchet6:58 AM

    Preferably without a parachute.

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  109. Alright, some of his propaganda is not as effective.

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  110. Marion in Savannah7:36 AM

    Leave Lamb Chop ALOOONE...

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  111. Seems like it is all addressed to whoever is writing the checks.

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  112. mgmonklewis8:02 AM

    This is terror level Eggshell.

    I would like to peruse paint swatches with this comment before deciding on something in the "1980s Taupe" family.

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  113. mgmonklewis8:04 AM

    If only they'd hire Mark Penn to help them coordinate. Oh pleaseohpleaseohplease.

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  114. Jerry8:17 AM

    Am I the only one that noticed prior to the invasion of Iraq that our forces were concentrated in a few staging areas, exactly as they would not be if planners really thought Saddam might have a couple of nukes,

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  115. Helmut Monotreme8:32 AM

    Yeah when Phil Donohue got fired for questioning the narrative, it became even more obvious that the fix was in, and regardless of what Saddam Hussein did or didn't do, there was going to be a war.

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  116. That's more logical than I had assumed it was.

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  117. Brother Yam9:01 AM

    I live down the street from one and we have one digit transposed in our addresses -- I get enough of that crap by accident to know what's going on.

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  118. FlipYrWhig9:05 AM

    That's it, ISIS is going on double-secret probation. One more screw-up and they'll lose their tickets to Commencement!

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  119. FlipYrWhig9:14 AM

    Call 1-800-GO2-HAMA! Leave off the last S -- that's for "savings."

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  120. FlipYrWhig9:16 AM

    So far away.

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  121. I saw that commercial during The Daily Show last night. They really know their "target" audience.

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  122. Fuck that, they don't even respect the intelligence of their own marks supporters.



    Well that's a given.

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  123. Heck, why don't we just open up a big warehouse full of weaponry and let
    every nut job in the Middle East check them out as desired?We already tried that, by invading and occupying Iraq on the cheap.

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  124. This video is concerned with 2)b)iii, which is the least likely scenario.You left out weaponizing a drove of flying pigs, in which case ... your 2)b)iii is still the least likely scenario.

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  125. There is no treaty or agreement that would deter them from the
    long-cherished desire to finally have it out with the ayatollahs once
    and for all in a full-on armed conflict.Oh, I dunno. A secret deal to sell the ayatollahs American armaments in order to fund illegal wars in Central America might cause them to stay their hand.

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  126. Halloween_Jack9:43 AM

    I fully support keeping The Bomb out of the hands of Iran. Also, out of the hands of Mitt Romney (or any Republican or, for that matter, any Mormon. I know, I know, I'm anti-(quasi-)Christian, but they're just a little too well prepared for the apocalypse, is all I'm sayin'. Let's throw other Rapture-happy sects in that category, while we're at it).

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  127. Halloween_Jack9:45 AM

    Trufax: I made a character in the late, lamented MMORPG City of Heroes named Brocko Bomber. Deleted it when people assumed that I was anti-Obama and responded both pro and con under that assumption.

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  128. Halloween_Jack9:48 AM

    An elegant use of the classic quote to describe the, well, reality of the situation.

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  129. Halloween_Jack9:49 AM

    Ball cap and a prominent beard? Hmmm...

    http://politicalillusionsexposed.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/FIST.jpg

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  130. Halloween_Jack9:51 AM

    weaponizing a drove of flying pigs


    Not halal... nope, you're right, it's still more likely.

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  131. Obama should just hire Bruce Willis to defuse the bomb with .5 seconds left on the clock. Problem solved. Just thinking inside of the box here.

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  132. You know what would have "controlled Iran's influence in Iraq", not fucking invading Iraq that's what.

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  133. satch9:58 AM

    I have repeatedly told our military leadership that if they give me all the arms I want, I promise I'll never kill anyone who doesn't absolutely deserve it.

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  134. Also, another way to control Iran's influence in Iraq would be, "Don't invade Iraq, depose its anti-Iranian ruling class, and attempt to replace the strongman with an Iranian mole."

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  135. Halloween_Jack10:00 AM

    MAJOR GUY CHRISTIAN: Farsi?

    SPARKS: Not until you give me back my binoculars, sir.

    I'd like to have a long, thorough and intense gearing-up scene with this comment; the muscles will be oiled and the mo will be slo.

    https://youtu.be/dlZ10Dljkrs

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  136. If we overthrow the Iranian regime, who is more likely to take over: the Shah's grandson, a coalition of sparkle ponies and unicorns, or ISIS?

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  137. Chalabi is not doing anything. Why don't we ask him if he would be willing to be installed as the new Iranian P.M.

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  138. Helmut Monotreme10:09 AM

    Or, at least looks like they deserve it, or is standing on the same block as someone who looks like they might deserve it, it's hard to tell in the dark.

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  139. DN Nation10:29 AM

    Saxby Chambliss is a moral coward who didn't do one shred of good for his constituency (where I live) other than cheerlead some of them to their deaths in Iraq.

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  140. DN Nation11:06 AM

    Bloody Bill was on Morning Joe defending the OU frat chant-leaders. First thing that came to mind- LOL, of course, etc. Second thing- Krstol looks like crap. He's gained about 30 pounds, that insipid grin of his now looks like he's barely holding his bowels together, his beady eyes look even closer to the bridge of his nose because his cheeks have expanded. Years of advocating for the wrongest wrongs that ever wronged are finally taking a physical toll on him.

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  141. RogerAiles12:28 PM

    That blowed up good. Blowed up real good.

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  142. Now they are in my twitters

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  143. JennOfArk1:17 PM

    Bibi set us up the bomb....

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  144. StringOnAStick5:30 PM

    Why, that nice Senator Cotton had an unofficial meeting with all those nice defense contractors the day after he got his fellow morons to sign his "Iran's a big poopyhead" letter. Not even 24 hours passed before he was amongst those with the most to gain from heating things up to a real war with Iran.

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  145. Exactly! Just how terrible do they think being expelled from college is? Is it like beheading? Or a Nuclear Attack?

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  146. billcinsd9:58 PM

    occupying the same planet as someone (Dick Cheney) who may be thought by some people to deserve it.

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  147. billcinsd10:59 PM

    wasn't that an original song Graham Nash brought to the Hollies?

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  148. Not enough Creepy Joan Cusack.

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  149. B^4--I'm going to try to put together a Northeast meet-up. If you're interested, drop me a note at

    bennforum at gmail dot com

    And, of course, any other alicurati here in the Northeast should contact me as well if you'd like to put some faces with all these glorious nyms!

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  150. bogan backlash3:59 PM

    That's Dallas, not Toronto. The Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge is the cable stayed bridge in the beginning.

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  151. Grokenstein11:20 PM

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8Pgc5O1OHs

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