Wednesday, October 01, 2014

...UNTIL GOLDBERG WRITES SOMETHING ELSE, PART 3,402.

Bucket-footed press critic Jonah Goldberg thinks he's got a hot one:
I must say, there’s something about the way accused White House intruder Omar Gonzalez is constantly described in the media that bothers me. I keep hearing him called “Army veteran Omar Gonzalez.” It’s true he’s an Army veteran. So I’m not disputing the fact.
Oh Jesus.
But I have a little trouble with the relevance. I know there is a cottage industry out there trying to hype up the threat of returning vets as the real source of domestic terrorism (we all remember the DHS-report controversy).
That's why, every time a veteran knocks over a liquor store, the liberal media runs his mugshot next to a picture of Tim McVeigh.
But it’s worth noting that Gonzalez’s alleged motivation was to tell the president the atmosphere is collapsing. In other words, while PTSD — or some other mental defect — may be to blame for his delusions, describing him as “Army veteran Omar Gonzalez” doesn’t really tell us anything about his motivations. It doesn’t fit into the “narrative” save as evidence that he might have PTSD. But to use “Army veteran” as a euphemism for PTSD sufferer is somewhat obscene.
People think Gonzalez might have PTSD because a family member told reporters he had PTSD. His bizarre post-service actions may reflect a madness independent of post traumatic stress disorder, which is why responsible media and public officials have been pretty good about not saying for sure that he has it -- with the understanding that the modifier "responsible" excludes some people, like Howard Kurtz ("The fact that Gonzalez, a war veteran suffering from PTSD, even made it to the door"), Darrell Issa ("...a crazed, solo, knife-wielding veteran with PTSD..."), et alia.

This is why Goldberg is very careful about decoupling his "calling Gonzalez a veteran, though true, is unfair" charge from his charge that something something media PTSD. He's not smart, but he does possess a certain low animal cunning.

Goldberg goes on --
... But compare all this to the coverage of Alton Nolen... He’s never described as “Muslim Alton Nolen” or “Islamic extremist Alton Nolen.” And that’s probably right. But why is Omar Gonzalez not afforded the same standard? In the case of Nolen, I suspect part of the reason is that the press, like the White House, is very reluctant to say anything that might cast aspersions on the larger Muslim community.
This is bullshit. The New York Times, like every other news source on the planet, has told readers the guy is a Muslim. (The Times said "Mr. Nolen is a recent convert to Islam," which is the same thing as "Muslim Alton Nolen," unless what you're going for is some sort of pejorative lilt a la "Dirty Dingus Magee" or "Evil Roy Slade.")

As for calling him “Islamic extremist Alton Nolen," that would be much further out than suggesting Gonzalez might have PTSD -- though (as detailed in my recent Village Voice column, which you really should read or at least click on) there are plenty of media outlets that are not only doing that, but also asserting that Nolen is part of a jihad army, fanning out across the heartland on the orders of some Islamic Mr. Big.

Goldberg's big close:
That’s perfectly defensible (though calling the beheading simple “work place violence” is indefensible Orwellian nonsense).
Nolen went to his workplace and committed violence. Newspeak!
But shouldn’t the larger community of Army vets get at least the same deference?
"Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America" was funny in the movie, Jonah, but as you may have noticed at parties, if you want to be asked back you're gonna need some fresher material.

188 comments:

  1. gocart mozart11:22 AM

    Fine Jonah, can we agree to refer to him from now on as "crazed Christian Gonzalez?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. coozledad11:32 AM

    That’s perfectly defensible (though calling the beheading simple “work place violence” is indefensible Orwellian nonsense).

    But Kevin Williamson's calls for hanging women who have had abortions is the gold standard at National Review.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Can't help but notice that Williamson's latest piece is titled "The Gelded Age."
    I'm not reading this one - too much MRA in my diet as is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. coozledad11:41 AM

    They are nutless, and it's not why they think they are.

    ReplyDelete
  5. cahuenga11:45 AM

    “Army veteran Omar Gonzalez” doesn't really tell us anything about his motivations

    Who, exactly, said it should inform us of his motivations? This is a blatant non sequitur. What the hell?

    ReplyDelete
  6. sharculese11:47 AM

    "The Gelded Age" is a pretty decent pun and could work as a title if you were writing about say... a grown-ass man who experiences existential dread at the sight of a nine-year-old boy.

    ReplyDelete
  7. sharculese11:48 AM

    Is it really a non sequitur if you genuinely are too slow to follow the conversation?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Or whose first response to being annoyed is to grab someone else's property and throw it across the room.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Running themes in the NRO comment section:
    1.) Why don't the media mention that Gonzales is Hispanic, blarg?
    2.) Why don't the media mention that Gonzales believed in climate change, arglebargle?
    Quite a fandom you've got there, Jonah. Farrrrt.

    ReplyDelete
  10. cahuenga11:52 AM

    Pretty sure are searching for a way to somehow use this incident as a metaphor for the Texas border

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well, Jonah, the motivations usually appear in the actual article - you know, those words that appear underneath the headline. If you read that, you'd know that Gonzales' family members mention his former profession, which is the kind of thing journalists usually write down.
    I'm sure you were far too busy to notice that, though.

    ReplyDelete
  12. sharculese11:55 AM

    Wait so are we back to ignoring/denying this country's deficiencies at handling what war does to those who come back?


    That was fast.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Megalon11:57 AM

    Jonah Goldberg farts out a couple pages of text per day that couldn't have taken more than ten or twenty minuets to write, in which he goes around in rhetorical circles making no arguments and expressing no opinions. For this he's nationally famous, respected as a political analyst and historian, and gets to live a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle, while many tens of thousands of his fellow citizens would count themselves lucky to work a hundred times harder for minimum wage.

    It's a little depressing.

    ReplyDelete
  14. FlipYrWhig11:58 AM

    A journalist might like to say "Army veteran Omar Gonzalez" because "Army veteran" is supposed to connote "man of decency and honor," and yet here he is doing something foul. The tension between "good" and "sad" pretty much drives narrative. Generic Tragic Story has in its template similar descriptors: consider "including a mother of two" or "including three American students, who were returning from a medical mission."

    But, no, it's probably because of something something political correctness disloyalty unAmerican skree.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Megalon11:59 AM

    If Jonah ever had a sequitur, I've never seen it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. FlipYrWhig12:00 PM

    It's all one problem, see. Obama has let everything be too permeable, including Benghazi consulates, the Mexican border, the White House, and anuses.

    ReplyDelete
  17. He's more a squirter, and boy do his interns hate it when they see him carrying a bag from Taco Bell.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jonah Goldberg farts out a couple pages of text per day that couldn't have taken more than ten or twenty minuets to write

    I've heard he writes during his movements.

    (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

    ReplyDelete
  19. sharculese12:03 PM

    The reason Jonah asked for an intern in the first place was because he didn't feel he should have to go all the way to Taco Bell himself.

    ReplyDelete
  20. tigrismus12:10 PM

    He’s never described as “Muslim Alton Nolen” or “Islamic extremist Alton Nolen.”

    I just googled both, and Nolen is pretty uniformly headlined as "beheading suspect," and each article did describe him as a Muslim in the copy. I guess they go with the real eye-grabber up top.

    Omar Gonzalez is described in headlines as either "White House intruder" or "White House fence jumper" and the "army veteran" description is in the article copy. How is this NOT the same treatment?

    ReplyDelete
  21. TGuerrant12:10 PM

    I must rush over there and reassure Jonah that no one will ever refer to HIM as "Army veteran." Would it help to add a list of terms that are applied to him, d'ya think?

    ReplyDelete
  22. But shouldn’t the larger community of Army vets get at least the same deference?


    I'm too lazy to look but I wonder if Goldburp ever wrote about Army veteran, convert to Islam and mass murderer, John Allen Muhammad nee Williams. But he was probably hiding under his desk until well after the trial started.

    ReplyDelete
  23. montag212:17 PM

    Ah, yes, it's pure Doughy. He'd be outraged if he weren't so darned confused and indifferent.

    ReplyDelete
  24. TGuerrant12:17 PM

    Let's get Idaho in there, too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. " I
    keep hearing him called “Army veteran Omar Gonzalez.” It’s true he’s an
    Army veteran. So I’m not disputing the fact."

    I think it would save future wear and tear on our brain cells if, from now on, we just referred to Jonah as "National Review Pundit Jonah Goldberg". Then everyone would know immediately what to expect...

    ReplyDelete
  26. But to use “Army veteran” as a euphemism for PTSD sufferer is somewhat obscene.Oh, for fuck's sake, Goldberg. That's the hook you've decided to hang your shart on? Even for you, that's a pretty weak pants stain. I could do a better job, and I'm not even a right-wing legacy hire:



    "Army veteran Omar Gonzalez reportedly suffered from PTSD. Might not the final straw for this wounded warrior been the sight of his so-called commander-in-chief contemptuously 'saluting' his fellow soldiers, teacup in hand? And that was hardly the first slap in the face Obama has delivered to our brave men in uniform ...", etc.



    That's how it's done, Jonah. I hope one of your interns was taking notes.

    ReplyDelete
  27. TGuerrant12:23 PM

    The Dragon voice transcribing software punctuates as best it can.

    ReplyDelete
  28. cahuenga12:23 PM

    Zactly. Watch out! He's all leaky.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Jay B.12:26 PM

    Sweaty legacy hire Jonah Goldberg eviscerates straw men and is under close watch by the Scarecrows are People Too straw rights group.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Megalon12:30 PM

    He would have read it but the intern was getting coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Because FAAAAAAART.

    ReplyDelete
  32. John Wesley Hardin12:31 PM

    "...some Islamic Mr. Big."
    "Now, I'm not gonna name any names, but his initials are 'Barack Obama.'"

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'd like to cross the Mississippi listening to Miles Davis with this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  34. DEFENSE: Your honor, my client suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from his army service ...

    [In the gallery, JONAH GOLDBERG leaps to his feet]


    GOLDBERG: Objection, Your Honor! Relevance!


    JUDGE, PROSECUTOR, DEFENSE [In unison]: Bailiff!


    [GUARDS drag GOLDBERG toward courtroom door]


    GOLDBERG: This is central to my poiiiiiint ...

    ReplyDelete
  35. John Wesley Hardin12:35 PM

    "Why don't the media mention that Gonzales is Hispanic, blarg?"

    Hispanic, with a name like 'Gonzales?' Yes, please tell me media, it is unclear.

    ReplyDelete
  36. If you can't learn all about a person's motivations in four words, two of which are a name...

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  37. Yeah, but his first name? Omar, as in ... Mullah Omar. So it's yet another case of the MSM covering up the massive Islamist infiltration from Mexico.

    ReplyDelete
  38. John Wesley Hardin12:43 PM

    "Nolen went to his workplace and committed violence. Newspeak!"

    I think that's in response to Melissa Harris-Perry who, apparently, caused much argle in the blarglesphere when she said that Nolen's actions weren't terrorism but workplace violence. To which the brethren responded, "whaddya mean? we're plenty terrified!"

    ReplyDelete
  39. "Good afternoon, young man; I'm the head of human resources for The National Review Online ...you may have heard of us... and I must say, I like the cut of your jib. Please take my card, and should you find yourself in need of gainful employment..."

    ReplyDelete
  40. Political writer Jonah Goldberg. That doesn't tell us anything.

    Unless you surround the first two words with giant smirk quotes.

    ReplyDelete
  41. You were convincing until you used the term gainful employment to describe what goes on at the NRO's offices.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hanging women who've had abortions would be a Christian act to post-defend the lives of the dead pre-born. Beheading women for no other crime than being women is the act of a heathen.


    Unless they women are sluts or something.

    ReplyDelete
  43. John Wesley Hardin12:59 PM

    Ah, I totally missed that angle. I need to go blunt the edge on my Occam's.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Give it another 24 hours and we'll be hearing that this was:
    a - A false flag operation that will give Obama the excuse to institute martialsharia law, just like he's been planning since he was born.



    b - Mr. Double Scary Names is a member of Obama's specially trained eco-terrorist squad who snapped and turned on his master.


    c - He is a righteous RealMurkin who was angry because the First Lady suggested people eat more veggies.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:12 PM

    That's why every time a veteran knocks over a liquor store they run his mugshot next to a picture of Tim McVeigh.

    I'm definitely living on the wrong side of our mutual dimensional rift...

    ReplyDelete
  46. TGuerrant1:13 PM

    Yeah, see, like when we had legal genius and skilled administrator Alberto Gonzales in office as a bipartisan Attorney General who admitted to kind of maybe possibly recalling having taken classified documents home and shoving them under his bed because he never learned how to open his U.S. Government classified document safe, it was obvious he wasn't an al-Qaedito re-fried falafel special from Taco Bama Infiltratoristas.

    Either Omar changes his Muslim name to Fredo to prove his bonafides or he gets his head cut off for Jesus. We can't compromise our intellectual acuity in national security matters such as this.

    ReplyDelete
  47. GeniusLemur1:14 PM

    Let's try a slightly different version:



    DEFENSE: Your Honor, my client suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from his army service ...

    [In the gallery, JONAH GOLDBERG leaps to his feet]

    GOLDBERG: Objection, Your Honor! Relevance!

    JUDGE, PROSECUTOR, DEFENSE [In unison]: Bailiff!

    [BAILIFF draw her gun and blows a gaping hole in GOLDBERG's forehead]

    GOLDBERG: This is central to my poiiiiiint ...

    ReplyDelete
  48. mortimer20001:16 PM

    Shorter Pantload: Why do they keep calling Gonzalez an Army veteran when he's really an unemployed, homeless person? I happen to work in a rather large industry devoted to vilifying unemployed moochers and drumming up fears about homeless people, and I don't appreciate having my "narrative" work undermined by the fact that this 47%-er is one of those "troops" I pretend to "support."

    ReplyDelete
  49. TGuerrant1:18 PM

    Careful there. Don't get Kevin Williamson wilding about FLOTUS's Olduvai Gorge.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:20 PM

    Most of this dipshit's "work" consists of one form or another of "well yes, that's all true, but...", followed by farting in our general direction without having the common courtesy of giving us even a bad French accent...

    ReplyDelete
  51. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:25 PM

    If not the whole point, at least a good part of it. Jonah doesn't write for us. He writes for people who are eager to agree with whatever he says, no matter what it is, or even if they understand it. We're lucky he bothers with correct spelling and most grammatical conventions. Logical content? Fuggedabouddit...

    ReplyDelete
  52. Nepotism's a hell of a drug.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I'm surprised they aren't embracing the man as a true patriot—at least in the comment section, and of course behind closed doors.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Really, two possibilities presented here:
    1.) Recent articles on Gonzales refer to him as an Army veteran because, in interviews with family and friends, they describe him thusly and mention details (PTSD) that are directly relevant to his service.
    2.) The various conglomerates that comprise the mass media are conspiring to subtly and systematically smear veterans, possibly so that Obama or some future Dread Lord can declare them the enemy and have them locked up at will.
    As to the people who feel that possibility 2 is the more plausible one...well, there's clearly a reason why they're fans of Jonah Goldberg.

    ReplyDelete
  55. tigrismus1:35 PM

    "I keep hearing him called “Army veteran Omar Gonzalez.” It’s true he’s an Army veteran. So I’m not disputing the fact."

    I guess the also indisputable fact that he committed violence at his workplace, leaving directly after being suspended and returning with a weapon, against coworkers one of whom had specifically complained about him, is central to his point.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Jonah's Razor: All other things being equal, the most paranoid explanation is probably the correct one.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:40 PM

    But you know, if the NRO paid its writers what they're worth, it might just show a profit...

    ReplyDelete
  58. jonah goldberg: the greatest coen brothers movie they never made.

    ReplyDelete
  59. He is a righteous RealMurkin who was angry because the First Lady suggested people eat more veggies.Damnit, Shakezula, I had dibs on that cushy NRO gig.

    ReplyDelete
  60. BG, watery tart2:09 PM

    Dear Jonah,


    I note that you never served in the military. How about you put your fat ass on the line and we all see how much action you can take before you start to suffer from PTSD?


    Sincerely,
    BG

    ReplyDelete
  61. Derelict2:14 PM

    Okay, I'm confused. The poor bastard IS an army veteran. And Goldberg's problem with identifying him as such is . . . what? That media reports DON'T identify someone else as something that they're NOT?

    This is edging mighty close to Jonah the Fail's previous high-diarrhea mark of "Even though the dictionary says I'm wrong, that's central to my point."

    ReplyDelete
  62. O Brother, Where Fart Thou?


    The Man Who Wasn't All There


    Burn Without Reading



    Intolerable Cruelty

    ReplyDelete
  63. DN Nation2:16 PM

    GUARD: How is it central to your point, exactly?
    GOLDBERG, being dragged: I'd tell you but I'm on deadline and I really have to be going...

    ReplyDelete
  64. DN Nation2:18 PM

    "And Goldberg's problem with identifying him as such is . . . what?"


    Well, to be sure, it is important to note that he's an Army veteran, but maybe it isn't important. I'm just noting that maybe one would think a thing. Anyway, I haven't been following this story very closely, and I'm on deadline, so I'll let you keep talking about it, shshshsshhhhhAAAAARRRTTTT

    ReplyDelete
  65. whetstone2:21 PM

    "'Calling him that is true but unfair,' writes nepotistic fart cloud Jonah Goldberg in the National Review."

    ReplyDelete
  66. Nice translation.

    ReplyDelete
  67. But remember if they withheld the information that he was an army veteran that would be evidence of an enormous coverup--but this is central to my point.

    ReplyDelete
  68. True Shit


    Blood Simpleton

    ReplyDelete
  69. I'll be in the market for an intern. Can't have work cutting into my essential nap functions.

    ReplyDelete
  70. TGuerrant2:50 PM

    Adjectives splooged in the alleys of some shabby off-brand Narnia by the Tribune Content Agency:

    Jonah Goldberg is one of the most prominent conservative journalists today. His column, syndicated by Tribune Media Services, offers shrewd analysis on a wide range of subjects, from political philosophy and economic trends to popular culture, with an entertaining writing style that speaks to a whole new generation.

    With keen wit and hard-hitting insight, Goldberg brings a fresh perspective to the typical right-left debate, by rejecting party lines, talking points and stale clichés.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Wow. Jonah Goldberg with a goatee?
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  72. John Wesley Hardin3:01 PM

    No Country for Old Farts

    ReplyDelete
  73. randomworker3:02 PM

    Isn't it all yet another way to say "they liberals, they hate our troops because Liberal Fascism (TM)!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  74. Howlin Wolfe3:10 PM

    He's more prolific than Mozart!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Derelict3:13 PM

    He's a regular Mo-Fart!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Derelict3:16 PM

    There's one last test before you start your new job. You must consume this entire box of Ring-Dings, eat one family-size bag of Cheetos, and one regular-size bag of Funyuns. You can wash it all down with either Sprite or Mountain Dew, but you must finish all of it before close of business today.

    Still interested?

    ReplyDelete
  77. mgmonklewis3:17 PM

    Not to mention, a phrase "somewhat obscene" is so quintessentially Goldbergian in its vacuity. Take an inherently forceful, unambiguous word like "obscene," then dance around coyly by throwing a cheeto-stained "somewhat" in front of it, and render the whole thing meaningless. See also "somewhat pregnant," "rather dead," "mildly appalling," etc. Yet for Goldberg, those inanities are the height of sophisticated prose, on a level with Samuel Johnson or Addison & Steele.

    ReplyDelete
  78. satch3:18 PM

    "...vigilantes are the last thing we need, but they could rise up, if government fails to perform its constitutional duty to protect us from enemies, foreign and domestic."


    Might this be what Cal Thomas had in mind a month ago?

    ReplyDelete
  79. TGuerrant3:20 PM

    I would hate to see a president impeached, but if Obama forces us to...

    ReplyDelete
  80. TGuerrant3:22 PM

    When GoCart comes by, you're catchin' it bad.

    ReplyDelete
  81. satch3:26 PM

    "Goldberg goes on --"


    OK, I think I see the problem...

    ReplyDelete
  82. tigrismus3:27 PM

    shrewd analysis

    Divination via small mammal rectum?

    With keen wit and hard-hitting insight, Goldberg brings a fresh
    perspective to the typical right-left debate, by rejecting party lines,
    talking points and stale clichés.


    :-o

    ReplyDelete
  83. tigrismus3:28 PM

    No, I think that's the clean-shaven one, WE got the evil one.

    ReplyDelete
  84. smut clyde3:47 PM

    Kevin Williamson already had dibs on "The Ladykillers".

    ReplyDelete
  85. Helmut Monotreme3:56 PM

    Lucky for us, he's lazy and content to produce poorly-reasoned tripe for the satisfaction of the least demanding of right wing paymasters. What if he were a hard worker and well acquainted with logic, rhetoric and standards of proof?

    ReplyDelete
  86. Am I allowed to upvote you for getting my stupid joke?

    ReplyDelete
  87. Helmut Monotreme4:02 PM

    If only there were some way that the military could cure 'fat and slow'. Maybe some kind of camp...

    ReplyDelete
  88. I am not ashamed to say that wouldn't be a problem. Especially since today's family sized is yesterday's normal sized.

    And a few hours later I'd have my first column!

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  89. Oh, fuckadillyscrumptous, do we really need the "why, this was not an evil black/Muslim man, why are you mentioning his race you cads" lecture, especially from Stained-Tie Golem (casting cost: 2 white, of course).

    And doubting PTSD from the fucking illegal war he defended, that's just the rotted cherry on the shit sundae.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Maybe some kind of camp...That's it! Put Adam West in charge of whipping Jonah into shape!

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  91. rejecting party lines, talking points and stale clichés

    Oh, really?

    Since fucking when?

    ReplyDelete
  92. Ubu Imperator4:12 PM

    Bear in mind that most authors get to write their own biographical blurb, "blurb" being a more apposite word than usual in this case.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Megalon4:18 PM

    "with an entertaining writing style that speaks to a whole new generation."

    Finally. A writer for OUR generation!

    "rejecting... stale clichés"

    Using a bunch of stale clichés to reject stale clichés... is this that post-modernism all the wing nuts are whining about?

    ReplyDelete
  94. Oh, jeebus, they're terrified when a non-white guy with a beard gets on the plane with them. Or looks at their wives. Or walks past. Or lives in their country.

    What with the self-peeing and bawling, it's like the US is one huge badly-run day care these days.

    ReplyDelete
  95. "I have no idea, let me ask my readers..."

    ReplyDelete
  96. Shorter Tribune Media Services:

    "Jonah Goldberg is a man who truly understands theology and geometry."

    ReplyDelete
  97. But I have a little trouble with the relevance. I know there is a cottage industry out there trying to hype up the threat of returning vets as the real source of domestic terrorism (we all remember the DHS-report controversy).

    As I recall, it wasn't the threat of returning vets per se, but the threat of right-wing extremists, vets or not.

    ReplyDelete
  98. calling all toasters4:28 PM

    Sorry Roy, but Damon Linker has stolen Jonah's title:
    http://theweek.com/article/index/268985/how-liberals-are-unwittingly-paving-the-way-for-the-legalization-of-adult-incest

    Read it and fart.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Considering the largest domestic terror incident involved a veteran, it just might possibly be relevant.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Gonzalez' ravings about the atmosphere sound less like global warming alarm than like the "chemtrails" nonsense, which tends to be promulgated by righties.

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  101. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:43 PM

    For "action" read "boot camp"...

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  102. dstatton4:47 PM

    Do we really need to be told up front that the ISIS guy in the video was an Islamic extremist? It is useful, though, to learn that the nutty guy in the WH was a veteran. I don't see Jonah getting a gig at the Columbia Journalism Review anytime soon.

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  103. dstatton4:48 PM

    I'm surprised they didn't equate him with Al Gore. Maybe they did. I am unable to read the comments after a while.

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  104. We're Americans; we'd forget who ISIS was if we weren't reminded by the media every five minutes.

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  105. Pope Zebbidie XIII5:00 PM

    menses rea

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  106. Pope Zebbidie XIII5:03 PM

    Jonah Goldberg: For Rent.

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  107. Pope Zebbidie XIII5:04 PM

    It's sophisticated English-style understatement. In his mind, he's PG Wodehouse.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Monkeyfister5:10 PM

    As the Convention Manager for one of the major Branches of Service, I **can** attest to the fact that PTSD treatment is a very high priority for us. I send Recruiters to all the major, National Psychiatry/Psychology/Behavioral Therapy organizations' conventions every year seeking the best in the field. It really is getting the proper level of attention-- but, the problem is quite severe. Still, the Pantload is just an idiot, and deserves all the scorn and mockery the world can muster his way.

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  109. Monkeyfister5:16 PM

    for the win.

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  110. All snark and mockery of this lame-ass aside, I'll state the obvious truth of the matter: Goldberg is just the laziest motherfucker ever to put pen to paper for a living. He is not stupid, so there's just no other plausible explanation. He does not work at the propaganda, even; he just rolls in it like a dog in shit and lays there on his back, legs splayed, reeking of the stink, and waits for his belly to be rubbed.

    ReplyDelete
  111. TGuerrant5:57 PM

    Get some straps on that man's boots!

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  112. cheeto-stained somewhat

    Do these involve marshmallows and campfires?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person7:50 PM

    OT, but am I the only one who thinks this cartoonist actually nailed it, even though he seems to think he was just naive or stupid. I mean, face it, a nutbag White House Invader would likely think in just those terms, and just as "innocently". seriously, I looked at the 'toon and thought, what's all the fuss? Is the cartoonist really a nitwit who got it right in spite of himself, and nobody wants to say it? OK, that last bit worries me, because I don't really go in for that tinfoil-hat shit...

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  114. M. Krebs7:58 PM

    Of course you are!

    ReplyDelete
  115. M. Krebs8:00 PM

    You know what's obscene? Referring to PTSD as a fucking mental defect. Jesus, what an asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  116. ken_lov8:23 PM

    It would be preferable to call him "guy with Islamic-sounding first name and undocumented alien-ish surname whose Facebook page has not yet been exhaustively analysed but the possibility he had pictures of beheadings and was infected with the ebola virus cannot be ruled out". Balanced and factual and does not cast aspersions on our heroes in uniform.

    ReplyDelete
  117. edroso8:26 PM

    "You should really care that the German Ethics Council..." Already no, and I'm not through the first sentence. Anyway, Dreher got there sooner, as usual.

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  118. David Sagneri8:28 PM

    This is dumb even for Jonah. He's described that way because it's true, his family mentioned it, and yes it makes a better story. No PTSD doesn't cause you to believe that the atmosphere is falling or some such but it does have sap mental resources and tends to exacerbate any preexisting conditions. And it humanizes him moves him from the category of terrible street person that isn't really a person (which is an awful category) to a human being. And it adds a frisson of danger for those looking for that since it implies capability to cause harm. So of course the media includes it none of this is sinister though not all of it is commendable.

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  119. David Sagneri8:29 PM

    Oh I didn't read him close enough to see that. Fuck him he would melt into a useless puddle at the first inkling his own personal ass was on the line.

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  120. I prefer to imagine Jeeves coming up with another of his corkers that ends with Aunt Agatha catching Jonah in a compromising position with a teapot, while wearing her favorite hat.

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  121. Derelict8:34 PM

    We'd still be stuck with stupid, which is largely incurable.

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  122. M. Krebs8:39 PM

    Nefertiti I hope.

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  123. He doesn't have a razor, he has a needle. Because everything is central to his point.

    Yes, I'll show myself out.

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  124. calling all toasters9:00 PM

    This only strengthens my point.

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  125. TGuerrant9:16 PM

    If he'd been unarmed, I think Gonzalez might be getting classed less with assassins and more with Michael Fagan, the unemployed decorator who snuck into Buckingham Palace through an unlocked window in 1982, helped himself to some wine and cheese, sat on the throne, and eventually got around to stepping into Elizabeth II's bedroom to chat with her.


    In court today, Omar Gonzalez's public defender said he'd seen nothing indicating that his client isn't fit to stand trial, though prosecutors are insisting on a full psych exam. Something of a role reversal there.


    As for the cartoonist, if he'd put "arugula-flavored" in that speech bubble, he'd have had an easier day.

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  126. davdoodles9:31 PM

    That Goldberg is wrong on that point is central to his point.
    .

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  127. TGuerrant9:35 PM

    That stamp. It says, "Wohlfahrtsmarke." Jonah's got his own currency?

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  128. M. Krebs9:39 PM

    I'm puzzled by this whole brouhaha (ha ha ha). I get that something awful might have happened, but it didn't. How does it merit a week's worth of fainting spells? This country is nuts.

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  129. TGuerrant9:39 PM

    In three? Jonah Goldberg: Vacant.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Derp thoughts for sale or rent,
    Farts to let, 50 cents.
    I'm a man of beans and mo' beans,
    King of the Choad!

    ReplyDelete
  131. I want to smoke old stogies I have found with this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  132. but it didn't

    9/10 thinking, mister.

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  133. freq flag11:20 PM

    Like Mother, like Son.

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  134. freq flag11:20 PM

    Short, but not too big around.

    ReplyDelete
  135. freq flag11:22 PM

    Those Simpsons episodes aren't gonna watch themselves...there's a marathon on, people!

    ReplyDelete
  136. AGoodQuestion11:47 PM

    "True but unfair" seems a pretty standard complaint from Jonah. Archetypical, even.

    ReplyDelete
  137. freq flag11:47 PM

    The Magic Bowl Movement from Symphony in C minus by Johann Amadeus Mudheadsky.

    ReplyDelete
  138. AGoodQuestion11:53 PM

    Please take my card, and should you find yourself in need of gainful employment...
    Well, we like to think that "gainful" and "employment" are flexible terms.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Budbear12:07 AM

    Funny. I've thought of him more as America's answer to Col. Blimp; the basic difference being this cartoon is made of (considerable) flesh and blood... and Cheetos.

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  140. AGoodQuestion12:08 AM

    Ah, but you're putting it in terms of telling a better story and other comprehensible human motives. The NRO subscribers know that outside of Fox News and WorldNet Daily the media is motivated only by a desire to protect Obama, destroy America, and sell deluxe abortion packages.


    If there's anything Jonah is actually good at, it's normalizing this kind of Bircher rage. By his hand it sounds lazy and sloppy, but not invested enough to be totally nuts.

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  141. PersonaAuGratin12:20 AM

    Mozart was far more accomplished; by the time he was Jonah's age, he'd already been dead for ten years.

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  142. AGoodQuestion12:22 AM

    It's almost like we never left.

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  143. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:47 AM

    Sounds like the PD is anxious to be rid of the case...
    Anyway, the prosecutors are right. Maybe the guy's not gibbering and drooling, but the facts of his circumstances combined with this little adventure indicate that at least he should be evaluated.

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  144. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:51 AM

    Smells more like post-Cheetoism...

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  145. Another Kiwi1:26 AM

    It would be wrong of people to armour up their Hoverrounds and storm the Kenyan Usurper Fortress but who could blame folks if they felt so oppressed by vege eating uppitty non-folks, that they felt they had to act. FARRRTTT!

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  146. Another Kiwi1:34 AM

    What Joberg thinks would happen: "Your honour, come with me now to the teeming streets of ancient Rome where we meet Cicero on his way to the Forum. We engage in learned discussion....(4 hours later) and thus prove my lord, that there is a golden thread of justice woven into this wonderful flag" (sits down to rapturous applause)
    What would really happen: Argle Blargle your highness, FART, skree fulching master of the universe squaddle FAAAARTT, Can we open a window?"

    ReplyDelete
  147. Another Kiwi1:40 AM

    Rejecting party lines and cutting to the front to get at the trifle. "FACEPLANT BABY!!"

    ReplyDelete
  148. Another Kiwi1:41 AM

    He'd be fired

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  149. Another Kiwi1:43 AM

    Would this comment be interested in a walk in the moonlight? The Magnolias are beautiful at this time of year

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  150. Pseudonym2:46 AM

    You were convincing until you used a term from commercial real estate to describe what goes on in the NRO's orifices.

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  151. Pseudonym2:49 AM

    You seem to have replaced "indeed" with a superfluous butt. Is your autocorrect misfiring again?

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  152. Pseudonym2:52 AM

    Hey now, at least 50 Cent put his body in the line of fire instead of hiding behind his wife and kids.

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  153. I think Gonzalez might be getting classed less with assassins and more with Michael Fagan, the unemployed decorator who snuck into Buckingham Palace through an unlocked window in 1982, helped himself to some wine and cheese, sat on the throne, and eventually got around to stepping into Elizabeth II's bedroom to chat with her.

    So I broke into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner...

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  154. Tehanu4:01 AM

    Isn't that beyootiful? Hello, I'm Don G. O'Vonny representing the Musical Heritage Surplus Club of Hong Kong....

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  155. Hommage to jonah.

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  156. Of course it doesn't. Speculating about motivation is the job of armchair psychologists sitting at desks hundreds or thousands of miles away from the scene of a crime and having zero access to any relevant information about the incident. Makes you wonder why we even have a legal system.

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  157. Makes you wonder whatever happened to Tim Hulce.

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  158. Long as the vomitorium is open, I'm in.

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  159. "Try the veal . . ."

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  160. Holy shit, that brings up about fifteen "Leaky" jokes, none of which would be appropriate for this family audience or, basically, any audience in general.

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  161. With apologies to cahuenga.

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  162. "JUDGE, PROSECUTOR, DEFENSE [In unison]: Bailiff!"


    Another reason that Law and Order is the best fucking TV show ever.

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  163. David Sagneri9:03 AM

    This is true. Sometimes I forget that the motivation of NRO and the like has nothing to do with actually understanding the world.

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  164. And lest we forget who took the hit so our boy Jonah could climb up another rung on the ladder of nepotistic fail (which, in America, is as good as gold): http://www.barbrastreisand.com/us/statement/letter-la-times

    ReplyDelete
  165. mgmonklewis9:12 AM

    With Jonah it's drool, not droll.

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  166. glennisw9:28 AM

    ... But compare all this to the coverage of Alton Nolen... He’s never described as “Muslim Alton Nolen” or “Islamic extremist Alton Nolen.”


    Christ is Goldberg stupid!! He can't tell the difference between designating someone by former profession, and designating someone by religion? Yes, in deed, why aren't the media treating crazed Christian Gonzalez the same way it's treating former cabbage-packer Atlon Nolen?

    In point of fact, why did everyone immediately check out what Nolen's religion was, and as far as I know, nothing at all has been written about Gonzalez's religious beliefs.

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  167. billcinsd9:31 AM

    as any The Tick fan would know, NRO liked the cut of his gibberish

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  168. glennisw9:31 AM

    And, in fact, describing his as an Army veteran does tell us something about his possible motivations, with a media that is quick to jump to conclusions. Jonah just doesn't like what it may tell.


    (Not saying it accurately tells us anything about his motivations, but as written it is certainly implying something.)

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  169. Minuet in B Splat. (or G, Minor)

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  170. He can't tell the difference between designating someone by former profession, and designating someone by religion?

    Seems he can, and there's some passive-aggressive reason he wants to ignore the distinction. Wonder what it could be...

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  171. StringOnAStick11:41 AM

    Hence all the pre-emptive skree to overwhelm that particular fact.

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  172. You guys were convincing until you used the English language to describe what goes on at America's Stupidest Website™.

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  173. I blame Olestra™.

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  174. tigrismus12:10 PM

    Everything I've read so far repeats one relative who said he was worried about "the atmosphere collapsing." Dude apparently wanted to warn Obama that the sky is falling.

    ReplyDelete
  175. catching Jonah in a compromising position with a silver cow creamer


    Fixed for additional Wooster.

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  176. Illogical One12:46 PM

    Hummas to jonah? Nah, too healthy...

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  177. "Strunk & White on line two, Mr. Goldberg. They sound angry."

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  178. redoubtagain2:25 PM

    Chickenhawk Diagnoses, Then Dismisses As Irrelevant, Army Veteran's PTSD; Hilarity Ensues

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  179. mgmonklewis2:49 PM

    That is central to my point.

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  180. mgmonklewis2:51 PM

    My apologies for introducing the image of Jonah "dancing around coyly." Now I have to somehow scrub from my brain Jonah doing the Dance of the Seven Farts in a cloud of cheeto-dust and swirling empty Ding-Dong wrappers.

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  181. tigrismus3:00 PM

    Well thanks so much for the new image of Jonah and unwrapped Ding-Dongs.

    ReplyDelete
  182. mgmonklewis3:54 PM

    I should have said Mallomars. Or else stopped digging once I found myself in a hole.

    ReplyDelete
  183. tigrismus5:40 PM

    Aw, I still love you like a pseudonymous Internet sibling.

    ReplyDelete
  184. David Lloyd-Jones6:23 PM

    Mene,
    This rather reminds me of poor Dick Cheney's problem. He knows he can't say "The Jews made a fool of me," but while he is very highly intelligent, it sez here, he isn't well-informed enough to say "God damn Likud."

    -dlj.

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  185. cleter9:37 PM

    I wonder what happened that generated all these poor PTSD-suffering veterans. I'm sure it was the Democrats fault.

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  186. bekabot6:16 PM

    "...But compare all this to the coverage of Alton Nolen... He’s never described as 'Muslim Alton Nolen' or 'Islamic extremist Alton Nolen'...But why is Omar Gonzalez not afforded the same standard?"

    Maybe because being an Army veteran (with or without PSTD) is nothing like being a Muslim extremist? (And shame on you, Mr. Goldberg, for suggesting otherwise. Shamey shame shame shame shame.)

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