One day, no one thought of gay marriage (or few did). The next day, “civil unions” were the far-out, progressive position. The day after that, if you favored civil unions but not gay marriage, you were a Klansman. A Nazi. That’s where we are now. Try refusing to bake a cake for a gay wedding, or refusing to rent your hall for such a wedding. Just try it.As enraged as Nordlinger is because you can't discriminate against gay couples, he is more enraged that Obama and Biden changed their minds on the subject:
Running in 2012, of course, both Obama and Biden sang a different tune. They had had an epiphany or something. (Is “epiphany” too religious a word for our modern society?)
Here’s the grating thing: They scorn people who are against gay marriage as, basically, Klansmen and Nazis. The blink of an eye ago, they themselves were against gay marriage (officially)! But now the people who hold that same position — the Obama-Biden position until May 2012 — are Klansmen and Nazis?I suppose someone called opponents of gay rights Nazis and/or Klansmen, but this is the first I've heard that Obama and Biden did so. Anyone got the link?
In a later post, Nordlinger again:
I watched the Kentucky Senate debate last night — the debate between Mitch McConnell and Alison Lundergan Grimes. I am a partisan Republican and an admirer of McConnell. Even if I were not, however, I think I would have the same view...After that, I should have known better than to keep reading.
Grimes was a robot, and an often nasty one. She was scarcely a human being.Why, this is the kind of reductive language I expect from Klansmen and Nazis!
Both posts end with Nordlinger weeping that politics is too dirty for him. Well, I'm glad something is. In addition to these deathless insights, Nordlinger does articles: This is from his latest one:
But I must say, I find it increasingly difficult to read things on the Internet. I click on an article, and I’m not taken to the article: I’m taken to an ad instead. Then there is this experience: Loud music will suddenly start playing...Jonah Goldberg at least has family connections. I assume Nordlinger has lurid pictures of Buckley locked away somewhere; nothing else explains his persistence.
The day after that, if you favored civil unions but not gay marriage, you were a Klansman. A Nazi.
ReplyDeleteYeeeeeeh, no. That never happened.
Jay Nordlinger does it with his finger in his nose.
ReplyDeleteI've been refusing to bake cakes for various people for years now, with no legal problems at all. I also refuse to prescribe morning after birth control, do dental work, and clean houses.
ReplyDeleteBut then I don't do any of those things as my job. If I did, I'd do my job, because I'm a guy who grew up learning that you're supposed to do your damn job!
But I must say, I find it increasingly difficult to read things on the Internet. I click on an article, and I’m not taken to the article: I’m taken to an ad instead. Then there is this experience: Loud music will suddenly start playing...
ReplyDeleteI agree. There should be more ad-free bullshit factories like the National Review, where there are no revenue streams to be seen for miles and miles.
He managed to make it through a whole column on "the redefinition of marriage" without writing "you will be made to care"! Should I give him credit for restraint, or is that phrase not in the NRO stylebook yet?
ReplyDeleteSomething something PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
ReplyDeleteSure it did. Right after Howard Dean set himself on fire to protest the war.
ReplyDeleteIs it needlessly tiresome to point out that one can be, and many are, opposed to gay marriage without discriminating against people in your business for it? I'm opposed to SUVs and mustaches but I don't turn away clients for having them. FFS, Nordlinger.
ReplyDeleteDon't we pledge allegiance to a flag of a country that provides liberty and justice for all? How is it justice for a customer to be refused service for their sexual orientation? How is it justice to be denied the right to visit one's loved one in a hospital or the pension benefits of a deceased spouse?
ReplyDelete"...and another thing--why do they call them klansmen, anyway? there are klanswomen. even klanskids..."
ReplyDelete#notallklansmen
ReplyDeleteI click on an article, and I’m not taken to the article: I’m taken to
ReplyDeletean ad instead. Then there is this experience: Loud music will suddenly
start playing...
Oh, to be in Starbuck's with this assclown when this happens. I imagine a whole 4-alarm Aspergerish meltdown.
"Somebody! Help! Computer play music! Stop it! Stop!" *slaps laptop* "Make computer stop music at me! Now!" *knocks laptop on floor, runs into men's room crying*
It's justice because doing otherwise makes baby Jesus cry.
ReplyDeleteStraw armies with arsenals of admonishments and disagreeable opinions, marching through Nordlinger's fevered brain.
ReplyDeleteOne day, no one thought of invading Syria (or few did). The next day,
ReplyDelete“airstrikes” were the far-out, progressive position. The day after
that, if you favored airstrikes but not invasion, you were a Communist. A traitor. That’s where we are now.
(not my best but I need more coffee)
But now the people who hold that same position — the Obama-Biden position until May 2012 — are Klansmen and Nazis?
ReplyDeleteRhetorical questions can be dangerous in the wrong hands. And by wrong I mean phenomenally stupid.
I think he was too caught up in the Tee-Hee Cleverosity of comparing Obama to Nazis and Klan members.
ReplyDeleteI'm opposed to SUVs and mustachesI'm opposed to the combination. No mustache rides in my SUV!
ReplyDeleteOne day, no one thought of abortion as a crime (or few did). The next day, “abortion is murder!” was the mainstream, conservative position. The day after that, if you favored reasonable limits to abortion but not birth control altogether you were a Klansman. A Nazi. That’s where we are now. Try getting your Catholic employer to pay for your birth control. Just try it.
ReplyDeleteOne day no one thought of budget deficits (or few did)....
The day after that, if you favored civil unions but not gay marriage, you were a Klansman.You write for National Review, Jay. I assure you, none of this gay marriage business suddenly made you a Klansman.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to read the whole thing, so does he tell us who the real Nazi Klansmen are by the end?
ReplyDeleteThen there is this experience: Loud music will suddenly start playing... A video pops up containing two naked, muscular and oiled men moving rhythmically to the music. A gay wedding cake appears. The two men take turns frosting the cake using special decorating tips on their icing bags while singing the Toreador's Song from Carmen. It's...
ReplyDeleteWhat, this never happens to you?
Question: Are there that many people left who favor "civil unions but not gay marriage"? I mean, I'm sure there are, but clearly Nordlinger is talking about politicians and other high-visibility figures. It just seems like recent cultural shifts and the sudden realignment of the GOP have sucked all of the air out of the middle on this issue, and the only positions left are acceptance of gay marriage or "AND THE EMBRACE OF PERVERSION WILL BRING RUIN TO THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH."
ReplyDelete"I suppose someone called opponents of gay rights Nazis and/or Klansmen,
ReplyDeletebut this is the first I've heard that Obama and Biden did so. Anyone got
the link?"
Well, obviously it's Truth, even if it's not actually, technically "true". You just need to stop being such a literal fascist.
Only hummers in your Hummer?
ReplyDeleteSomething something MARKET SOLUTION!
ReplyDeleteTry getting your Catholicfundamentalist Protestant employer to pay for your birth control.One day, fundamentalist Protestant employers like Wheaton College and Hobby Lobby were covering contraception. The next day, the ACA became law. The day after that, "contraception is murder!" became an eternal and inerrant cornerstone of fundamentalist Protestant Christianity.
ReplyDelete"AND THE EMBRACE OF PERVERSION WILL BRING RUIN TO THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH."You've noticed the Huckabee 2016 campaign gearing up, I see.
ReplyDeleteHelp me Mr Wizard!
ReplyDeleteSomething something FREEDUMB OF RELIJUN!!
ReplyDeleteI would like to guzzle this comment's gas.
ReplyDeleteEbola is God's punishment for gay marriage. Or something.
ReplyDeleteWell, yeah, it does, but I don't work for National Review.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone ever complied a list of things prominent Cons have said are punishment for not stomping on GLBT people? I bet it is a long fucking list.
ReplyDeleteThe blink of an eye ago, they themselves were against gay marriage (officially)!
ReplyDeleteAw, I thought you guys loved conversion stories.
do the Hucklebuck, do the Hucklebuck....
ReplyDeleteWhich is quite a feat given his head is jammed so far up his ass he views the world through his nipples.
ReplyDeleteI am a partisan Republican and an admirer of McConnell......but even I have to admit that declaring kynect nothing more than "a website" was flagrantly mendacious pigshit, and Alison Lundergan "Grimlock"** Grimes rightly, if belatedly, called him on it.
ReplyDelete**Because she's a robotic DINO. ZING!
And it's even more unfair if I can't impose those views on other people who do not share them!
ReplyDeletebecause FREEDOM!
The speed with which acceptance of gay marriage has overtaken the populace has them shitting themselves. They can see the asteroid coming and they can't do a damn thing about it.
ReplyDeleteCould you get the Nazi Klansmen to bake you a Krystallnacht cake?
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, Rose Buddenbrook in 6C. She was in the Nazi Party and the Klan. Buckley employed her as a consultant for McCarthy and His Enemies. But she retired a long time ago now. Or ... [UNEXPECTED TWIST] did she?
ReplyDeleteNO CAKE FOR YOU.
ReplyDeleteDamn, it's one thing to be nakedly partisan, but to call yourself an admirer of Mitch McConnell is really creepy and sad. Admiring an opportunistic hack of the worst sort is nothing I'd admit in public.
ReplyDeletefascist.
ReplyDeleteSomething something SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATS!
ReplyDeleteI have to pay $34.95 a month to get stuff like that to show up on my computer. D'you think National Review bought a site license?
ReplyDeleteThey can see the asteroid coming and they can't do a damn thing about it."Quick! Load them onto a spacecraft with Bruce Willis and shoot them into space!"
ReplyDelete"And then what?"
"What do you mean, 'and then what'?"
They really, really, really hate feeling ashamed of themselves and they project a whole lot of rage on other people--normal people--whose basic decency and humanity makes them feel ashamed of their own basic indecency and inhumanity. The nicer and kinder people around them are the more they lash out and complain that they are being "oppressed" by the implicit comparison.
ReplyDeleteI find this interesting, in a sad sort of way. Like Susan of Texas I see this as basically a pathology that starts in childhood with the cruelty of some parenting strategies. In the gay marriage "debate" (such as it is) the right wing expresses a lot of anxiety and rage about Obama and Biden moving over to the morally humane side of the ledger. One of the things that really pisses them off is that Obama and Biden have happilly embraced the change--needing neither to apologize for their past beliefs nor agonize over it. They saw the light, came around, and now are happy celebrating a new found freedom from the requirement to judge and condemn fellow human beings. But Nordlinger (and Rush) never make any moral movement or change to their own worldview or behavior out of kindness or compassion. They literally can't figure out what would impel a person to change from siding with the punitive overlords/angry parents/wrathful god to just deciding to live and let live. So they imagine that the shift in beliefs must be accompanied by the same kind of rage filled feelings of anger and contempt (Nazis and Klansmen!) that their own basic world view is filled with. They can't imagine moving on and not caring to judge, not caring to spend time posing and raging.
Remember John Cornyn's warning about box turtles? Projection strikes yet again.
ReplyDeleteStop it you two. Or get a roomy garage.
ReplyDelete"Why, yes, honey, in fact, I DO own the road!"
ReplyDeleteHow is it businesslike to inquire into your client's personal life in this way. When you sell a cake to someone you aren't issuing them a lisence--you aren't approving their eating habits, you aren't responsible for their diabetes, you don't really "know" anything about them including what they are going to do with it. Its just weird this argument that a business transaction is really a social relationship.
ReplyDeleteI was going to just go with "...are Klansmen and Nazis...": Yes.
ReplyDeleteEarthquakes, floods, droughts, meteors, ice, no ice, ...oh, fuck it,I'm going with everything.
ReplyDeleteYou can't spell "fascist" without "facts"!
ReplyDeleteTry refusing to serve a Negro at your lunch counter. Just try it.
ReplyDeleteI currently have a bunch of overripe bananas sitting on the counter and want someone other than myself to make yummy banana bread from them: no takers so far. Does this also count as oppression, or must it be a true cake?
ReplyDeleteAnd if I were to request, say, that the banana bread be baked in a cake pan, would that suffice? Or would frosting also be required?
It's a reasonable argument if you Sincerely Believe® that gayness is just like alcoholism.
ReplyDeleteI want to dress this comment all in white and walk with in a parade.
ReplyDeleteNRO is so infested with adware and malware I can only imagine the difficulty he must have trying to post. Maybe that's why he posts the same thing over and over.
ReplyDeleteA business transaction is just one more opportunity to disapprove of someone, and, hopefully, to make them feel bad and worthless. Isn't that what Hayek was all about?
ReplyDeleteThey can see the hemorrhoid coming and they can't do a damn thing about it.
ReplyDeleteI know! Yet another unconscionable government restriction on our fundamental liberties. Rand Paul 2016!
ReplyDeleteBut even if you Sincerely Believe (tm) that gayness is just like alcoholism tell me where a business--other than a bar-- is entitled to demand a breathalyzer be given to a client when that client purchases a service or an object?
ReplyDelete"I am a partisan Republican and an admirer of McConnell. Even if I were not, however, I think I would have the same view..."
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have a joke, in which I express an opinion, she disagrees, and I counter by saying, "Actually, the more I think about it, the more I find myself agreeing with myself." We mean it jest. Nordlinger really means it!
Exactly. What does it mean, that Nordlinger even thinks it could be true? Why, it means that it sort-of is true. Which means that it really is true.
ReplyDeleteIt's like those lines from The Mikado, when Koko lies to the Mikado about having decapitated Nanki-Pooh,and then gets caught. Quoth he, "Your Majesty orders a man be executed, consequently a man is said to have been executed. Practically, he's as good as dead. Well, if he's dead--why not say so?"
I think that's exactly right.
ReplyDeleteOn many issues, there are two sides, and reasonable people can disagree. This is not one of those issues. On the question of whether people should try to become more caring and tolerant, there is only one answer: yes, people should.
Moral evolution isn't easy. Lord knows I've had my own share of difficulties with it, but I don't see any kind of reasonable argument why we SHOULDN'T try to evolve.
Man, that sure was a lousy movie.
ReplyDeleteThe Klansmen and Nazis are pissed that Nordy threw them under the bus.
ReplyDeleteDid I miss all the stories of fine christian shopkeepers who were thrown into FEMA camps because they wouldn't bake cakes for gay couples?
ReplyDeleteI don't want to miss a thing about this comment.
ReplyDeleteOne day, no one thought of abolishing slavery (or few did). The next day, "abolition” was the far-out, progressive position. The day after that, if you favored buying and selling human beings, you were a Klansman. A Nazi. That’s where we are now. Try setting up an auction block and selling human slaves. Just try it.
ReplyDeleteOne day, no one thought of allowing women to vote... etc., etc.
____________________
The lesson to be learned here is that society has been progressing, slowly but surely. If you feel threatened by this kind of progress, then you are a conservative, and you will inevitably lose whatever you are presently fighting against.
Time only marches in one direction: Forward!
Why baking cakes for gays is like forcing black people to attend a klan rally.
ReplyDeletehttps://soundcloud.com/goodasyou/richard-land-equates-serving-a-gay-marriage-with-serving-a-kkk-ceremony
Dick Land is a totally not gay name.
ReplyDeleteI disapprove of what you parade, but I will defend on the internet, anonymously, your right to parade it.
ReplyDeleteThat could be Jonah G's next emission onto Western Culture.
ReplyDelete"The Tyranny of Facts: The Secret History of Liberal Fascism's Unfair Advantage in the War of Ideas"
Hucklebuck And The Rule 34s, opening at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame during the 2016 Republican National Convention. . .
ReplyDeleteAs long as it isn't a gay cake.
ReplyDeleteBetter a Nazi or a KlansPERSON than "scarcely a human being".
ReplyDeleteI have not read all the comments, so if someone said it first, I apologize.
They were CRITICIZED IN THE MEDIA, which is just as bad!
ReplyDeleteRemember that part in the Bible where Jesus called all the prostitutes sluts and then went and hung out with all the money changers? Yeah, good stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that this isn't being done is proof that this is being done.
ReplyDelete"Yeah, you guys can borrow the temple, I'm sure nobody'll mind."
ReplyDelete"You've had enough gayness for one night, buddy. I'm cutting you off and calling you a cab."
ReplyDeleteDrizzle drazzle drizzle drone, time to send this senator home.
ReplyDeleteSlammed it Aimai
ReplyDeleteI didn't believe what happened next
ReplyDeleteI thought is was punishment for Hurricane Katrina? I'm not paying full attention, however.
ReplyDeleteEat the squarrel, eat the squarrel.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a seekrit code in the article dependant on us knowing the name of Charles Krauthammer's first puppy. Hint: it's "puppy"
ReplyDeleteRight on. And isn't this Conservatism in a nutshell: resisting calls for compassion is not only a right, it's a virtue. It just drives them nuts when society doesn't give them the applause they think they deserve.
ReplyDelete"All Hail to the King of Straw!!"
ReplyDeleteOdd. The only pop-up advertisements intruding on my browsing pleasure involve woodcuts and trebuchets.
ReplyDeleteSomething something blow a seal SHUT UP SMUT
ReplyDeleteHint: it's "puppy" "breakfast".
ReplyDeletePlus, they know the public might pull that nonsense again.
ReplyDeleteCrazy libs and their preverted bestiality.
ReplyDeleteI can't serve a Negro because I'm all out of them, and the truck doesn't come until Thursday.
ReplyDeleteI got a slightly defrosted Arab if you want that.
His use of "One day" is quintessential winglish. Let's use a forward looking statement (One day, I'll wear pajamas in the daytime) to refer to some unspecified point in the past. Why? Because making sense isn't required for a ticket on the Right Wing Welfare Train and it's easier that picking a more specific time period like, post-WWII or antebellum.
ReplyDeleteNot enough Jebus apparently.
ReplyDeleteTime only marches in one direction: Forward!
ReplyDeleteThat's why they stand athwart history taking a dump and shrieking "STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT I'M TELLING WAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
It's very evocative though, in the sense that it shows everyday he wakes up, he's immediately scared and confused that things aren't the same they were years or even decades ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that's EXACTLY what William F. Buckley said (regarding his need to "stand athwart history...")
ReplyDeletebut it sure as hell describes the fear of the typical Rightwinger.
To a T.
"They scorn people who are against gay marriage as, basically, Klansmen
ReplyDeleteand Nazis. The blink of an eye ago, they themselves were against gay
marriage (officially)!"
Oh, Jay, please DO try to keep up...
"How is it businesslike to inquire into your client's personal life in this way."
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that if you live in Swampville, Alabama, or Tumbleweed, Oklahoma, it makes sense to include this kind of aggressive bigotry in the ad campaign for your business, and you want to make it clear to the Good Christian Volk... er... Folk(tm) in your neighborhood that they needn't fear gay cooties when they shop in YOUR establishment, by crackee! It'll be people like this, and Nordlinger's target readership, who will be the social equivalent of the last Japanese soldier stumbling out of the jungle thirty years after the war is over and wondering if all those years spent eating rats and leaves was worth it.
Let me fix it up for you.
ReplyDeleteOne day, no one thought that invading Iraq was stupid (or few did). The next day, if you were against the invasion, you were a Communist. A traitor. The day after that, if you were against the invasion, you were fucking right. That’s where we are now.
No, but he says that no true Nazi Klansman would be for gay rights.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Melancolia makes a better analogy?
ReplyDeleteIs it cake?
ReplyDeleteTime flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
ReplyDeleteThe next day, “civil unions” were the far-out, progressive position.
ReplyDeleteIn NZ it went something like this:
Vaguely social-liberal government: There seem to be a few long-term gay & lesbian couples who would like to solemnise their relationships, and acquire the associated legal benefits.
Associated bigots, theocrats and panty-sniffing god-botherers: Marriage should be purely man/woman! Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! Biblical! Polygamy! Devaluing heterosexual marriages! Also, gays are all promiscuous preverts who don't have long-term relationships!
VS-LG [rolling eyes]: OK, we'll define a new form of legally-recognised relationship, accessible to gays and straights alike, but without the relgious / historical baggage of "marriage".
ABT&P-SG-B: Blarg! Garfle! Your "civil unions" are STILL GAY MARRIAGE! We have only heard of them just now but we have always been opposed to them! Any recognition of gay relationships interferes with our right to ignore reality!
VS-LG [throwing up hands in exasperation]: Bugger that for a game of soldiers, we'll just recognise marriages of any kind.
I guess no one likes him enough to tell him about AdBlock.
ReplyDelete"…and when I click things, I didn't want come on screen and make noise - why is that? There are times when I want to win $10,000 in cash and times when I don't but those things come up no matter what I want. Who puts those things in my computer? I mean really."
ReplyDeleteThat is so wonderfully wrong.
ReplyDelete"I ordered a mojito, not a mohel, you Klansman!"
ReplyDelete"Then why the hell are you calling yourselves a Cock Tail Bar?!"
ReplyDeleteI used to get annoying pop-ups! Then I discover "ad blocker" and things are much less irritating. Sometimes I get weird music, but I have a "mute" button. Jay should look into getting these things.
ReplyDeleteLemme tellya, a wandering musician named Nanki-Poo ain't gettin no cakes in Missouri. Ko-Ko and Pish-Tush are going to be decorating their own Sara Lee creations, too.
ReplyDeleteYou may call it "liberal fascism" if you like, I prefer to think of it as "gavage".
ReplyDeleteHey, we know that slavery wasn't that bad. In fact, the slaves ate free food and sang songs and never had to worry about things like rising tuition costs and mortgages. Gays are going to miss their unwedded freedoms now that they have to have divorce lawyers, too, and don't get to run around screwing each other dozens at a time while listening to show tunes. The old ways were just better.
ReplyDeleteWry-ku
ReplyDelete"...he only took tips!"
ReplyDelete" I click on an article, and I’m not taken to the article: I’m taken to an ad instead."
ReplyDeleteNot all sites are like "National Review", Jay. You should broaden your interests.
Now I want a Rumpelstiltskin / "King of the Cats" mash-up story.
ReplyDeleteWhat time is it now on the Obama-Biden Position Watch?
ReplyDeleteDid anyone listen to me when I tried to warn them about the creeping menace of Spongebob Squarepants? Oh, how they laughed! Take a look at the background of that photo, and ask yourself this: who's really laughing?
ReplyDelete"Oh" said the cat "straw, how nice" and went to sleep.
ReplyDeleteI love the small print: "Spongebob Squarepants fan club meetings in Tyron's mom's basement Every Wednesday at 7:30PM."
ReplyDeletePatrick Star's voiced by Bill Fagerbakke. Fagerbakke. Huh? HUH?
ReplyDeleteFagerbakke. Huh? HUH?
ReplyDeleteOMFG how did we not see this proof of Obama's gay agenda before?!?
I hate Illinois Nazis. No wait that would be dressing in khaki not white
ReplyDeleteI didn't think i could take it, cuz it took so long to bake it, and i'll never have that non-gay cake shoppe again ... again !
ReplyDeleteNord-Finger is very upset there is no Calvinist cosmic-existential smiting which turns Obama and Biden into scorched craters for their *documentable* move toward the light. He wants his vengeance served hot and Old Testament.
ReplyDeleteI suppose someone called opponents of gay rights Nazis and/or Klansmen,
ReplyDeletebut this is the first I've heard that Obama and Biden did so. Anyone got
the link?
My gooness, an NRO article without consistent internal logic? Its authorial train of thought derailed, the gorge far below littered with broken fragments of bad ideas, horribly stretched metaphors, inappropriate adjectives, and explanation points, all smothered in a reeking pool of scorn dripping from that last leaking tank car that didn't quite fall?
OK, OK, it's just very sloppy writing, and "They" is just, you know, "them" in general, not Obama/Biden in specific because specificity doesn't come easy for wingnuts, being fact-averse as they are, and anyway, when you're on a Mission From God, fuck the facts, amirite?
But what I really came in to say is "Klansmen and Nazis, Klansmen and Nazis, Klansmen and Nazis"...can we just go with, like, "Klanzis"? Because life''s too short, and talking about wingnut silliness is wasting too much of it...
I have always wanted a Rifftrax of that movie.
ReplyDeleteYes, and in the present context I don't have to tell you what shape it is, do I...
ReplyDeleteNot in a stylish rainbow-hued 600-thread-count percale?
ReplyDeleteWhere's Sherman and his cleansing fire now that we need it again
ReplyDeletecanceling Furefly
ReplyDeleteI can't feel much sympathy for anyone who's been on the internet long enough to actually have a *job* on the internet, who hasn't learned to mouseover a link before committing hisself. Also too, adblock.
ReplyDeleteThey are slowly realizing that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train. And trust me, this isn't something you want to snap to in slow motion...
ReplyDeleteThat's an SF flick subgenre I just have no use for.
ReplyDeleteHaving all the ammo isn't cheating, it's being prepared...
ReplyDeleteThat's dark. Don't the "X" eyes usually imply death?
ReplyDelete0h, Jeez, this means the Huckabeests will be at the freeway intersections again, competing with the squeegieman...
ReplyDeleteAnd it's dripping with icing. Or is that frosting? Or just some natural-looking highlights?
ReplyDeleteThe roundups of the bakers have been delayed while the hunt for all the fugitive florists and photographers who refused gay money continues.
ReplyDeleteAs I've noted previously, conservatism is the only political movement in my lifetime that has felt compelled to append the word "compassionate" to itself--and that was due to the fact that it comes across almost entirely as a cruel and pitiless philosophy that pays lip service to humanity while reveling in human suffering.
ReplyDeleteTrue conservatives can't sleep in such sheets because the colors make them dream of wide stances in men's rooms.
ReplyDeleteWhat!?!?! You didn't like the ending where the screen is filled with a starfield and the audio track is the slowly fading radio signals from the ship as it leaves the solar system? (Those last signals being, of course, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Glenn Beck, and Laura Ingraham duking it out over who controls the microphone.)
ReplyDeleteA bit disappointed for no Hail Mary claim to a slippery slope of wanton, carnal incestuous bestiality. The N. Korean judge only gives 8.9.
ReplyDeleteInterclue.
ReplyDeleteCream-filled. IYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeleteOh, is that a yoga position? Because it sounds like it.
ReplyDeleteI think you're looking for something nice in a dutch oven. That's in aisle 6, bottom shelf.
ReplyDeleteThis image appeals to me.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that we have all the ammo--it's that they refuse to use any ammo.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but be remembered of all the wingnuts - especially around the halcyon early Iraq days - who said Robert Byrd didn't have any moral authority because he used to be in the Klan. Accent on "used to be". He'd actually repented of his segregationist past, which was the problem. They couldn't respect his lack of stictoitiveness. Nordlinger sounds like he has the same attitude.
ReplyDeleteAs to being taken to an ad when you're trying to read an article, yes, annoying. But I'm surprised no one else at NRO has held him over the edge of a roof and explained that this is the price we pay for operating in a free market.
For thee and not for me, natch.
ReplyDeleteBut even if it had happened--so what? You might just as well say that the day before Lee surrendered at Appomatox owning slaves was perfectly acceptable in the South and the day after Lee surrendered owning slaves became entirely illegal and the sign that you were still in rebellion against the United States and could be held criminally liable for enslaving another human being. One minute you were in the confederate army and the next you were, literally, a Klansman. Own your shit Nordlinger. Sometimes being out of step with society and history means you are on the fucking wrong side of society and history and even on the wrong side of the law.
ReplyDelete"This isn't what I expected to see when I clicked on sweatycockjungle.com!"
ReplyDeleteIYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeleteEven if I weren't a fan of cheap beer, I'd still make it a point to slam three Milwaukee's best by lunchtime.
ReplyDelete"Grimes was a robot, and an often nasty one. She was scarcely a human being. Not warm and cuddly like Mitch McConnell! He oozes empathy and comfort, like a kitten! To know him is to love him! Why, who doesn't want to bask in the warm glow of his loving eyes, and stroke his soft wattles! He's no robot, that's for sure!"
ReplyDeleteThe first rule of AdBlock is ... well, actually, to tell everyone about AdBlock. Which might actually be a problem eventually.
ReplyDeleteI think you're looking for something nice in a dutch oven.IYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeletebottom shelf.Guilty as charged.
"... and he piled upon Biden's white hair-plugs the sum of all his rage and hate. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shat his heart upon it."
ReplyDeletefrom "Big White Dick" by Jay Nordlinger
I've a reason to believe
ReplyDeleteWe all will be received
In Dickland.
Hang on, I think this needs some independent verification.
ReplyDelete[Google: The Googling]
... Nope, it seems I'm still a traitor. Actually, since I'm against invading again, I'm now two traitors. Wackiness ensues.
I imagine it would just take me to National Review.
ReplyDeleteI watch Stewart and Colbert on Hulu, and occasionally I get a screen telling me that my ad-blocking software is preventing me from some awesome ad experience. There's a button to click to find out how to disable my ad-blocking software so that I might enjoy this awesome ad experience. The funny thing is that after the time it takes to get through the usual ads, the screen goes away by itself, and my program resumes. I win!
ReplyDeleteYou just broke the site!
ReplyDelete"Solemnise" is a fine verb. It's disappeared from the American language, as far as I know, if it was ever in it.
ReplyDeleteYeah. He keeps telling us, and we keep ignoring him. If we'd only pay attention and burn all the gays at the stake, we'd never have another earthquake, hurricane, tornado, or disease in this country ever again.
ReplyDeleteResentment and rage are the forces that gives their lives meaning.
ReplyDeleteIt's a common problem.
ReplyDeleteDare to dream!
ReplyDeleteLight beer
ReplyDeleteIf you burn RWNJ's at the stake you just get a pollution infringement notice. IS THIS FAIR??
ReplyDelete"Oh" said the cat "straw, how nice" and went to sleep.
ReplyDelete"You haven't guessed my name!" shouted the little man.
"Fuck off Noddy" said the cat and went to sleep.
I click on an article, and I’m not taken to the article: I’m taken to an
ReplyDeletead instead. Then there is this experience: Loud music will suddenly
start playing..I turn the switch and check the number
I leave it on when in bed I slumber
I hear the rhythms of the music
I buy the product and never use it
I hear the talking of the DJ
Can't understand just what does he say?
"At least you're trying to turn a profit with this thing. These other guys, they just chant!"
ReplyDeleteThis one weird trick could end annoying ads forever! Click here to find out how!"
ReplyDeleteI used to get annoying pop-ups all the time. Now that I'm older, not so much.
ReplyDeleteOne day, no-one thought to restrict the surveillance state (or few people I brunch with did). The next day, opposition to the PATRIOT act was the far-out, progressive position. The day after that, a Marxist negro was elected president, and suddenly we're all incredibly offended by the NSA and executive power, a position we expect to hold until one of us is in charge of things again.
ReplyDeleteThis is the greatest comment on teh internetz today. Well played, sir/madam.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those equivalence things. Jonah Goldberg writes and published a book calling liberals fascists. Rush Limbaugh tells his radio audience that liberals are Nazis. Bill O'Reilly tells his television audience that liberals are fascists communist Nazis.
ReplyDeleteWhen the cat woke up, the little man was still there. "If you're not going to guess my name, then you have to buy gold from GoldLine! And, you'll want to buy a survival kit for when the Obamacalpyse arrives."
ReplyDelete"Fuck off, Noddy" said the cat before clawing the little man's keys.
Once more the dead hand of government interfering in the free market!
ReplyDeleteIt went right after sodomize in the dictionary.
ReplyDelete"They really, really, really hate feeling ashamed of themselves..."
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of what you said, but not this. To say that they feel shame is to assume that on some level, they would first feel that their view is wrong, and if there's one thing that they're convinced of, it's that they are absolutely right... so right that it justifies oppressing and browbeating others till the others either come to see the light or eradicated. That's why I feel no reluctance to refer to these people as Nazis AND klansmen, Godwin be damned.
AdBlock? Umm... do you smear it on the monitor screen, or on your own eyeballs?
ReplyDeleteWell, yeah... one minute you're standing athwart history, and the next minute you're straddling and teabagging it...
ReplyDeleteWe could call it a "reverse groundhog."
ReplyDeleteIYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeleteIf loving that picture is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
ReplyDeleteConsider also Butch Otter, whose first wife's name was Gay.
ReplyDeleteTons of wingnut websites have pop-ups, pop-unders and redirects to all sorts of risible shit. I wonder if the key to understanding why these people can say and write the shit that they do lies in comprehending the sort of reader who's cool with that.
ReplyDeleteAnd going to sleep again.
ReplyDelete