Fave literal passage:
To a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them, and their various mucous membranes.Try to imagine that coming from a normal human being. This is a rare long post from the Perfesser; the subject clearly excites him. I wonder if he has a spin-off in mind -- the missus has already built a customer base, and frankly edumacated misogyny is probably a better long-term investment, suckers-wise, than politics.
Robot pussy don't got no smegma.
ReplyDeleteWords fail me.
ReplyDeleteThey've certainly failed Glen.
ReplyDeleteWords actually kind of feel like Glen has failed them. They're considering a trial separation.
ReplyDeleteI like how he not only misses the point, but overshoots it to an extent where he's feebly grabbing at the selfinflicted arrow lodged in his spine. I think I'll keep reading We Hunted The Mammoth with no regret.
ReplyDeleteI like how Glen uses archaic bullshit like 'authoress' because he's that desperate to let you know he thinks women are less than people. Truly, it's everyone else who's being irrational about this.
ReplyDeleteAlso, more than anything else, #WomenAgainstFeminism is like shockingly corny. They're making the #IAmthe53% dudes look coherent by comparison.
Worst Muddy Waters song ever.
ReplyDeleteAnd that still didn't keep Led Zeppelin from stealing it.
ReplyDeleteLuckily Sam's Club sells Slick 50 by the case.
ReplyDeleteTo a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them, and their various mucous membranes.
ReplyDeleteDo you think Ol' Perfesseror has problems with muscle memory automatically inserting "aggrieved" whenever he types "class"?
Well, they lack the idealized perfection of his beloved sexbots.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, the vast majority of women, according to a Huffington Post poll, don’t consider themselves feminists — and only six percent consider themselves “strong feminists.” So outside the fem-journalist bubble, these women aren’t the outliers. You are.
ReplyDeleteOnly six percent identify as strong feminists. Therefore, 94% are against feminism. Which is, of course, a vast majority.
Look, Glenn--even if a "vast majority" of women don't call themselves feminists, I'd bet your entire tenured salary that the vast majority of women do not want to give up any of the things feminism has gained for them. (And that includes your wife who, I'd bet, wouldn't be terribly excited about giving up her right to vote and becoming your chattel.)
Ain't no mucus in a robot tuchus.
ReplyDeleteI like how Glen uses archaic bullshit like 'authoress' because he's that desperate to let you know he thinks women are less than people. Truly, it's everyone else who's being irrational about this. http://j.mp/734W8
ReplyDeleteTo a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them
ReplyDeleteAnd to somehow disabuse them of that notion, here's another heaping helping of word vomitus that's all about them from a notorious shrieking misogynistic shit.
It takes balls the size of church bells to try to repurpose slut-shaming for this steaming pile of misogyny.
ReplyDeletethe vast majority of women, according to a Huffington Post poll, don’t consider themselves feminists
ReplyDeleteI just heard about a poll done in Massachusetts where the majority of people who agreed with liberal ideas, favored liberal causes, and voted for liberal politicians didn't consider themselves "liberals." The Dr Mr could say those who know what words mean are outliers, but it's what people do and how they vote that matter more than what they call themselves, and people do vote the vast majority opinion that men and women should be treated equally.
It merely takes a cynical asshole pandering to his doofus chump readership.
ReplyDelete~
It's not the spambotting I mind. It's that you're stealing upvotes that should be mine by right.
ReplyDeletesqueeze my mucous membranes till the juice runs down my leg...
ReplyDeleteWe all just call ourselves "normal."
ReplyDelete"This is a rare long post from the Perfesser; the subject clearly excites him."
ReplyDeleteOMG REYNOLDSBONAR DO NOT WANT
Actually, I'm basically rendered speechless by Reynold's choice of words.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that was an option ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd the order in which he places them isn't so hot, either.
ReplyDeleteAfter a half-century's worth of work on the part of the right to demonize the idea of feminism, it's not a real surprise that the name polls badly, is it? So patting yourself on the back over the success of your own propaganda is wanking at best. Visiting the tumblr in question (only a good idea if you need another reason to drink heavily this evening) will show you how universal the loathing for hairy-legged bra-burning man-hating feminists really is, never mind that finding a unicorn would probably be easier.
ReplyDeleteI'll note that none of these young ladies were asked "Do you think you should be paid less than men for the same jobs?" or "What career paths should be closed to you since you don't have a penis?" I've no doubt you could get answers to both of those, though probably with fewer smiling selfies next to them.
It's Glenn using his usual rhetorical Glenn tricks for his usual rhetorical Glenn ends: reassuring white men that they are the bestest ever, and need never apologize. In fact, everyone else should apologize to them for wasting their valuable white empenised time! Yeah! I AM THE BEST!
You know, every church I've seen in the last 30 years that has a fake bell tower uses loudspeakers that play bell sounds. That is, electronically simulated bells. Not that that means anything for your metaphor, of course.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think that arrow is in his ass. Very definitely his ass.
ReplyDeleteTo a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them, and their various mucous membranes.
ReplyDelete"usa today columnist everyone! i write for the usa today!"
Liberals are the real racists, too. George Wallace was a Democrat, just like Ted Kennedy!
ReplyDeleteSounds to me as if the Ol' Perfesser is taking a running leap at Bill O'Reilly's job. It's the sort of thing that O'Really sneers every other day, although not nearly so volubly. Maybe the DMOP has been making off-the-cuff remarks about the state of Bill-O's arteries, and it's given Reynolds dreams of glory.
ReplyDeleteHere: Have an extra upvote. In fact, I owe you about five, but Disqust only allows one at a time!
ReplyDeleteSCENE: The uploaded technolibertarian utopia. A CALLER is requesting the attention of PROFESSOR GLENN REYNOLDS' sensoria.
ReplyDeleteREYNOLDS: Hello?
CALLER: Good morning. Professor Reynolds?
R: Yes, this is he.
C: Thank you. This is the embodied legal representative of English, LLC, and I'm afraid we're going to have to revoke your license due to your repeated violations of the Terms of Use.
R: You can't do that!
C: Oh yes, we can, Professor.
R: That's not legal!
C: ......
R: It's legal, isn't it.
C: If I might direct your attention to page 634,904 of the Omnibus Technolibertaria License, paragraph 12, subclause D, you will--
R: Never mind.
C: I would ask you if you read the license before you clicked the "agree" box, but I see you only had the window open for twelve seconds.
R: How am I supposed to communicate without English?
C: I can offer you a copy of Little Chatbots Remedial English! It has a vocabulary of almost eight hundred words, many with more than two syllables! Both interrogatory and declarative sentence structures are allowed, and 100% third-party monitoring of all communications ensures that misbehavior will be caught early! (Monitoring fees are billed separately and are not negotiable.)
R: ...That's it?!
C: Interpretive dance, Professor Reynolds.
R: This isn't fair.
C: (warm chuckle) Oh, Professor. This is Technolibertopia! We don't believe in fair.
If an entire political party was making it their business to regulate his dingus (say, by banning robot porn) he'd be "making it all about him" and his dingus.
ReplyDeleteSo...virtual bells and virtual balls? The Singularity is near....
ReplyDeleteI have to wonder about that Glenn and Helen. He says older women are dried up biddies who are jealous of younger, more attractive women. She says that men are emasculated slackers. What do they say to each other?
ReplyDeleteI do NOT want to know, thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that there's no party dedicated to regulating the Ol' Perfesser's dingus.
ReplyDeleteThe platform committee meetings would be hysterically funny.
And brief.
ReplyDeleteThe vast majority of right wing cranks consider themselves normal and moderate also.
ReplyDeleteYup, and Pol Pot thought of himself as just another fun-loving guy with a love of farming.
ReplyDeleteConservatives like Goldwater were against the CRA out of principled constitutional views unlike the dems who were all just racist.*
ReplyDeleteActual NRO argument I have found.
I'm thinking Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
ReplyDeleteMucous Membranes Got a Friend in Me
ReplyDeleteStimulated bells? :::perk:::
ReplyDeleteMaybe circular saw vs chainsaw
ReplyDeleteTo recognise the superiority of males, soft ones!
ReplyDeleteI was told there would be bacon and play-do here.
ReplyDelete"..a certain class of women in the media.."
ReplyDeleteHow he resisted the urge to type "..that bull-dyke Rachael Maddow.." is beyond me.
Also, too: how does a (purportedly) straight guy describe vagina as a "mucous membrane"? What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?
You'll get the clapper.
ReplyDeleteHe addresses the subject with as much turgor rigour as he can sustain.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm a glutton for punishment. I'd give my eye-teeth to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.
ReplyDeleteYes, the right has made some words, "feminist", "liberal" "social" (as in socialism) "civil" (as in rights) scary to people, especially people who ARE feminist liberals with leanings towards a more European "socialist" political system, and who believe in constitutional civil rights other than carrying firearms into fast-food places and airports. The liberals are keeping their heads down, more's the pity.
ReplyDelete"...and so make only two people miserable and not four".
ReplyDelete... more likely balls the size & shape of shriveled raisins.
ReplyDelete*rimshot*
ReplyDeleteOr this.
ReplyDeleteMakes you wonder how he describes his sinus cavities.
ReplyDelete..."to place your manipulative appendages above your sensory cluster, now!"
ReplyDeleteI want to be a technovassal to this comments corporate masters.
ReplyDeleteTalk about a barrel of fun!
ReplyDeleteNo it doesn't. It really doesn't.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...Head shot?
ReplyDeleteHe was going for bacon and play doh (!) http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/6776but then he thought he might be accused of plagiarizing.
ReplyDeleteOne of Muddy Water's bettr tunes...
ReplyDeleteI would like to give this comment a peal of Plain Bob Minors.
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ.
ReplyDeletePeople are still doing the "Feminists are just ugly old women who are jealous of all the pretty girls" schtick? Seriously? In 2014?
Perfect! That's some kind of YouTube-Fu you've got going--
ReplyDeleteVirtual bats and virtual belfries.
ReplyDeleteHe thought "wrasslin' coach" would be beyond his readership.
ReplyDeleteOnly a small percentage of people consider themselves members of the armed forces, therefore the vast majority are anti-military.
ReplyDeleteI'll wager he had it typed as a much shorter and pithier anglo-saxon word of great age (rhymes with "bunts") but realized that it might not slip through his readers' workplace filters without setting off alarms. Wouldn't want to make your faithful read PJ Media on their own nickel, after all.
ReplyDeleteSo that's why I hear Westminster Quarters coming out of Glenn Reynolds pants!
ReplyDelete"How much money did you make from grifting today?"
ReplyDeleteBecause they're both taxpayer-subsidized grifters.
#BlacksAgainstCivilRights
ReplyDeleteGlad I scrolled down before replying.
ReplyDeleteYou're a ringer?
ReplyDeleteThere's a netti pot joke trying to fight its way out of your comment.
ReplyDeleteThat's right Glen. You keep shouting SHUT UP, BITCHES! It is bound to be as big a hit as SHUT UP, DARKIES! and SHUT UP, QUEERMONAUTS!
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is wrong of me, but I get a kick out of watching these stoat molesters run around all frantic because (so far as I can tell) they're convinced old/ugly women are depriving the mens of young hot June Cleavers with their yammer about equality. Everyone knows that 18 year old girls want to become helpmeets to vile impotent hairy nosed sad sacks who part their hair just above their crusty right ear. But only if they never hear about careers.
We get airline miles for them, don't we? I've been saving.
ReplyDeleteNine Tailors from me!
ReplyDeleteI like the names.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, the vast majority of women, according to a Huffington Post poll, don't consider themselves feminists — and only six percent consider themselves "strong feminists."
ReplyDeleteOr, to put it another way cherry-picking the exact same poll, the vast majority of women don't consider themselves anti-feminists, and only three percent consider themselves "strong anti-feminists."
I sometimes wonder if they link to these things because they know that no one who agrees with them will ever read it -- sort of like Ann Coulter footnotes.
At least those cats are coherent and make sense when they give a reason for being anti-feminists.
ReplyDelete(Thanks for the link; now I found another site to waste time in.)
They're also staunchly pro-capitalism. Checkmate, libs.
ReplyDeleteNo, you don't understand, it's word jazz -- it's all about the grammar rules he doesn't use.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a line of package-flattering men's underwear called "amicus briefs".
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I got a bunch yesterday. I'm going to Vegas!
ReplyDeleteSame with the Loony Left. Your own personal local (political) vertical is, well, vertical. Everybody outside your extended pseudofamily is, oddly, standing somewhat aslant, and how do they do that without falling down?
ReplyDeleteRobot tuchus don' raise no ruchus
ReplyDeleteDo not sully the name of Ken Nordine! Shame! Shame, I say!
ReplyDeleteBut if he blogs for more than 4 hours....but wait, he's a Dr, right? No problemo!
ReplyDeleteSomebody else read those books? Two somebodies?
ReplyDeleteI'm Meanie-Meanie, and I dance the Dance of Welcome...
Their response to Confused Cats Against Feminism (still the best thing on the internet) indicates they're felony stupid.
ReplyDeleteBut being convinced that feminism is over means they can get even angrier when women refuse to surrender. Victimhood Not Victory!
I respond to you both with expressions 24-w and 7-y.
ReplyDeleteWho happens to be married to a woman who probably makes more money than he does. Weird.
ReplyDeleteShatterday's broken glass
ReplyDeleteThat's 'cause Herman Cain got 9-9-9 problems.
ReplyDelete"Man, this head cold's a bitch!"
ReplyDeleteI'd love to try one of Retief's dope-sticks. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that was an optionAnd with cause.
ReplyDeletehairy-legged bra-burning man-hating feminists
ReplyDeleteI refuse to shave and/or wax, the bra thing was an accident, and the man in question at the moment is Glenn Reynolds. I do try my best on the feminist part, though.
Can we take their 3-v as read, and interject some 91-s, please?
ReplyDeleteSo he doesn't write a column so much as create a negative space?
ReplyDeleteword jazzWrong vowel.
ReplyDeleteI want go be a queermonaut. Do we get to go ...no, not going go make that joke...will not make that joke...will attempt to stay dignified...arghhhh...
ReplyDeleteThe classics are always in style. Hell, these people dug up Saul Alinsky and Bill Fucking Ayers to hammer Obama and the left, fercrissakes. A lot of them would like to see the 19th Amendment repealed. "The past is never dead . . ."
ReplyDeleteInsane in the mucous membrane!
ReplyDeleteIt would be a cunning plan if people were as easy to train as dogs:
ReplyDeleteFeminism - BAD!
Feminism - BAD! NO!
and so on. Then, when everyone cringes when they hear the word feminism, you can point at anything and say Feminism and they'll avoid it. Equal wages. "Feminism!" Reproductive rights "Feminism!" Women working outside of the home "Feminism!" (See also Socialism.)
Unfortunately for the terminally angry penii, people are a bit more complicated than dogs.
Yeah. I see it happening, but it is still hard to understand why any normal person would give two shits what conservatoids think of them.
ReplyDeleteI must have a touch of the stubborn redneck in my from some ancestor, because when they started the campaign to sully the term "liberal," I started calling myself one for the first time in my life--just out of defiance.
The biggest trick the wingnuts have every pulled is convincing the world that they do exist (and matter).
Who could forget a kid movie with a malevolent Pied Piper, a corseted queen, a candy factory, a Rube Goldberg apparatus, Benny Hill, and Lionel Jeffries? It was less than the sum of its parts but I still enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteItem: Two lips, indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids tothem; item, one neck, one chin, and mucuous membranes...various.
ReplyDeleteMore than a half century, actually. I'm reading a pretty interesting collection of essays about Kitchens, cooking, and Gender from about 1890-1970 and the demonization and rejection of "old fashioned" and "humorless" feminists began before the Jazz Age and included a seeming rejection of them by younger women who were, of course, taking advantage of the battles they had fought.
ReplyDeleteYou do get to go there, but you have to wear a giant pressurized EVA suit with three visors. Takes all the potential fun out of it.
ReplyDelete...uh, a friend told me that.
Now I'm embarrassingly eager to understand the joke...
ReplyDeleteI guess I get a kick out of them too. It is strange how the right wing has become this weird minstrel show. I have to admit they keep me entertained.
ReplyDeleteIt's the only way to get to Uranus. (There, I said it!)
ReplyDeleteMy cat Princess doesn't need feminism because she's absolutely confident that she's superior to everything and everybody. I don't think anyone could even explain the concept to her.
ReplyDeleteHas Glenny been having nose-sex all these years? No wonder he doesn't like sex with women very much.
ReplyDeleteDracula has screeds against the New Woman.
ReplyDeleteCommitting acts of boogery!
ReplyDeleteBooger 'em, booger 'em, booger 'em! Millennium hand job and shrimp dick!
ReplyDeleteUsed to be outerwear, you know. We're such prudes today...
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, Reagan was able to take the perfectly good term "liberal" and turn it into an epithet. Indeed, so effective was that effort that he got the entire Democratic Party to run away from the term. And today, Bernie Sanders is about the only politician who calls himself a liberal. If there is any other Democrat in office who doesn't cringe when called a liberal, I don't know about him or her.
ReplyDeletePeople are more complicated than dogs. Our media makes dogs look like advanced alien life forms by comparison.
You don't want to know about the gas jets.
ReplyDelete"You're listening to Conservative Classic Schlock radio! We'll be back after these messages from our sponsors, The Koch Bros!"
ReplyDeleteNot to mention that if women wanting equal human rights as men seem "humorless," well, I suppose it's for the same reason bullies always claim their victims "can't take a joke."
ReplyDeleteI think we did pretty well getting "Wingnut" into the lexicon, but we failed to press our advantage.
ReplyDeleteDon't you mean purr-blind?
ReplyDelete(p.s. That site is pawesome!)
The vast majority of people wouldn't consider themselves omnivores or biped humanoids if asked cold, with no vocabulary help.
ReplyDeleteYeah, purr-blind and purr-escient...
ReplyDeleteVampires are the original conservatives: dragging around their traditions, refusing to die, and sucking the blood of the living to create a simulacra of life.
ReplyDeleteI admit I was only thinking of conservative efforts since the sixties, that Charbydis of the right. But thinking of the abuse heaped upon suffragettes and the women of the temperance movement, I have to agree: conservatives have always had the stinkeye for any woman who stepped out of the place they'd decided she belonged in.
ReplyDelete~something something linger
ReplyDeletein my synthetic sphincter~
I dunno, even drinking isn't helping. Anyone here a better lyricist?
To a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them, and their various mucous membranes.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is married? Oh, right. The relationship is built on shared animus.
I half hope someone starts that Tumblr just for trolling purposes. The other half fears that the irony deficient would point to it and say, "Look, they agree with us."
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing the way to the CCAF tumblr. That is a thing of beauty.
ReplyDeleteGoldwater was against the CRA because LBJ was pissing off the goobers in his own party and Goldwater smelled votes. That doesn't make him a racist but it sure as shit doesn't make him principled either.
ReplyDeleteActually, I'm basically rendered speechless by Reynold's choice of words.
ReplyDeleteI hope one day you can return the favor.
Look at the guy who just got fired for using the word homophone correctly? As someone pointed out it was even worse than people thought--the guy was a pedagogue.
ReplyDeleteAlso shared mucous, probably.
ReplyDeleteQUEERMONAUTSHey, I still have some of those in the original packaging. Astro Glider, Lactic Warrior, Acroyear ...
ReplyDeleteIYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeleteGAAAAHHH! YOUR NEW AVATAR!!!
ReplyDelete...It's very nice. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.
Has Glenny been having nose-sex all these years?Back in college, he heard that blow jobs were a really big deal.
Also, GAAAH! YOUR NEW AVATAR!
ReplyDelete... It's very nice.
"According to the FCC, the following words will no longer be banned from broadcast television: masticate, succubus, and angina."
ReplyDeleteThere will be no highlights on the 11:00 News
ReplyDeleteWith pictures of hairy-armed Women's Liberationists
And Jackie Onassis blowing her nose
Always wondered what that verse was doing in the song...
Could ease into it with #BlackCatsAgainstCivilRights...
ReplyDeleteI sent out for one:
ReplyDeleteSY BORG:
Pick me... I'm clean... I am also programmed for conversational English. May I have this dance?
JOE:
I've got a better idea:
Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
You ugly son of a bitch
Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
Stick it out
Stick out yer hot curly weenie
Stick it out
Stick out yer hot curly weenie
Stick it out
Stick out yer hot curly weenie!
Weenie, weenie, weenie!
Make it go fast
(In and out) In and out,
Magical Pig
Make it go fast
(In and out) In and out,
Magical Pig
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Fire
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Fire
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
(Whereupon, in order to prove to JOE that he is no ordinary
Appliance, SY quotes a few lines of traditional American Love Poetry.)
Sy Borg:
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this? Do you come here
often? Wait a minute... I've got it: You're an Italian! What? You're
Jewish? Love your nails! You must be a Libra! Your place or mine? Your
place or mine? Your place or mine? Your place or mine? Your place or
mine? Your place or mine?
See the chrome
Feel the chrome
Touch the chrome
Heal the chrome
See the screaming
Hot black steaming
Iridescent naugahyde python screaming
Steam Roller!
but the BACR Dinner ain't one
ReplyDeleteyou can be just like Dolores O'Riordan
ReplyDeleteDo you have to let it linger
in my synthetic sphincter~
but Willie Dixon wrote it
ReplyDeletewasn't the principle Republicans Uber Alles?
ReplyDeleteshrimp dick!Just in case you thought the tongue-eating fish louse was insufficiently disturbing.
ReplyDeleteShorter Glenn Reynolds: i need too masturbate to pictures of naked women. Why are you trying to take that away from me?
ReplyDeleteA pedagogue? I thought he was a philatelist!!!!!
ReplyDeleteStimulated Bells
ReplyDeleteWasn't that Michael Oldfield's only hit?
There are so few strong anti-feminist women that they hold their annual meeting in the crawlspace of Casa Smith-Reynolds.
ReplyDeleteLike Tennis...or philatelly.
ReplyDeleteI've got a hobby...rereading lady Chatterly.
Only a half-century?
ReplyDeleteI am NOT clicking that link.
ReplyDeleteMight give me nightmares...
Besides all the action in a surreal, pagan-inspired world, C.S. Lewis's Narnia books contain long annoying passages decrying feminism, teetotalers, educational experiments -- basically anything associated with progressive culture in the 1930s.
ReplyDeleteLET'S LIGHT THIS CANDLE.
ReplyDeleteHaven't paid attention to what the Perfesser's been up to for a while, but it's interesting that he's abandoned his old strategy of camouflaging his hateful bullshit in a (admittedly not very convincing) cloak of avuncular just-plain-good-sense demurral. Was it Lileks who let the mask slip first? No matter, in a few years they'll be ready for full supremicist mode, but too old to really be effective with it. Thank God for small favors I guess.
ReplyDeleteI've tried three comments on this poem. I shall stop now, as there are no words that I can come up with to do it justice, without sounding like, Ha ha, robots fucking! Clank clank!
ReplyDeleteMaybe later.
Finally, I have a use for my scribbled cardboard sigs which says:
ReplyDelete“I’m against women having the vote because it makes it harder for men to decide what my daughter will be permitted to do with her [sic] life, body and voice.”
.