This openly sexual, anything-goes mentality may have taken off several years ago, with Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” in which the non-bisexual Perry nonetheless suggested to girls that experimenting with bisexuality is sexy and playful. (The truth is, bisexual acts when one isn’t naturally disposed are a dangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment, as it is often done purely to please a male onlooker or due to the influence of drugs and alcohol.)Feel free to offer your own exegeses in comments. Yeesh. She makes Martha Bayles look like Anton LeVey.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
SILENT UPON A PEAK IN DERP-IEN.
A. J. Delgado's scolding of Nicki Minaj is so duh-what that I'm not even going to add my own jokes. I mean, everywhere you drop the hook you catch a beauty. Here's my favorite:
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I thought righties were all for materialism and indifferent about drug use when the right white kind of people do it.
ReplyDeleteIs a critique of materialism an attack on Chuck and Dave?
Ah yes, prudery loaded with detail and pictures. National Review, putting the crotch in crotchety since forever.
ReplyDeleteHmm, okay, lemme twerk--er, tweak this a little bit:
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, bisexual acts when one isn’t naturally disposed are a dangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment, as it is often done purely to please a male onlooker or due to the influence of drugs and alcohol.)Leave out the utterly sustanceless bluenosery, and there's almost the makings of a legitimate point here. So Delgado should ...
"why the need to promote materialism, drug use, crime,and, well, whorishness?"Eh, fuck it.
It's kind of amazing isn't it. She knows her thesis that sexuality in pop music started a couple of years ago when an ex-Christian singer cooed about bicurious experimentation (nobody tell her about Perry's take on "Milk Milk Lemonade," actually wait, everyone tell her about that) is utter bullshit, but she's committed to her thesis now and too fucking lazy to come up with a new one, so she has to come up with a reason it was different when Madonna did it (I'm not looking, does she manage to explain away "Oops I Did it Again" era Brittney?)
ReplyDeleteWhen the natural "sexual disposition" is defined as heterosexuality, obviously.
ReplyDeleteAJ Delago thinks Johnny Cash really shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but that was okay, because Cash presumably didn't kiss him first.
ReplyDeleteCan we make her think he did? Does she still show up in comments here to claim we're afraid of her or whatever?
ReplyDeleteMuch as I'm usually down for a dogpile on a cultural scold, I think the music of Nicki Minaj may be a step beyond my ability to defend it on the merits. Half her songs are about how awesome fucking drug dealers is because they give you money and drugs; I don't think I could honestly stand up and say "No, I'd totally be okay with my eight-year old daughter listening to that. Or performing it before a national audience on Ellen."
ReplyDeleteWhat's a bisexual act? Milton Berle?
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, bisexual acts when one isn’t naturally disposed are a dangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment...
So is she saying that if one is naturally disposed then bisexual acts are safe and beneficial supporters of morality and female empowerment?
So it's okay then?
Shorter AJ: "How dare you own your sexuality something that really belongs to some old white Republican?!?"
ReplyDeleteThis openly sexual, anything-goes mentality may have taken off several years ago, with Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” in which the non-bisexual Perry nonetheless suggested to girls that experimenting with bisexuality is sexy and playful.
ReplyDeleteThis openly vicious, bomb-all-foreigners mentality may have taken off several years ago, with the Bush-Cheney-Team Chickenhawk war on Iraq in which the draft dodgers nonetheless suggested to the country that experimenting with mass murder is sexy and playful.
~
I longingly await AJ Delgado's profound thoughts on Russell Brand, divorce, and how best to disinfect the nozzles in a pre-owned jacuzzi.
ReplyDeleteHow does that almost-point apply to the song Delgado is talking about? It's "I kissed a girl and I liked it," not "I kissed a girl despite having no desire to do so." And she hopes her "boyfriend don't mind it," i.e. he hasn't found out yet, so she's not doing it for him to leer at. It's not the greatest song, but it's at least pretty straightforward about the singer doing what she wants strictly because she wants to.
ReplyDeleteAnd if this were the 80s:
ReplyDeleteMadonna Is Worse for Young Girls’ Morals Than Deborah Harry Ever Was
And if this were the 70s:
Deborah Harry Is Worse for Young Girls’ Morals Than Dusty Springfield Ever Was
And so on.
Poor A.J., outwitted by some metallic shrink wrap.
ReplyDeleteWARNING: Not Safe For Wingnuts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRiP2CYN7YQ
Also, not to belabor the point, but lots of male oriented female sexuality is "done purely to please a male onlooker." Eye makeup? Boob jobs? High Heels? Sure--some women may actively enjoy dressing up some of the time but the vast majority of the high maintenance stuff is expensive, time consuming, unhealthy, and done to please the "male gaze" and the masculine/corporate assumptions about the importance of hotness in females.
ReplyDeleteI really like the phrase " a dangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment..." its so very Catholic Churchy. When "morality" hangs out there, implicitly bolded and linked to "Female empowerment" I always reach for my gun. Because sexual morality as the west has thought of it never, ever, conduces to female empowerment as actual females would like to see it happen.
ReplyDeleteI really like the phrase " a dangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment..." its so very Catholic Churchy.
ReplyDeleteIt's like a version of the blurb on the disposable chopsticks packaging- "Traditional and typical of glorious Chinese history and cultural".
"Where politics mix with bingo and tits in a money and numbers game.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Uncle Ruppert!
I rate for Blondie.
ReplyDelete~
I 'bate for Blondie.
ReplyDeleteOops, did I actually type that out?
Yes, this is why I still have Pac-Man Fever and throw quarters at people whenever I see a strobe light. Because I loved that song when I was 8. At 9, I found AC/DC and first became enamored with Big Balls as I cling to them even to this day.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, bisexual acts when one isn’t naturally disposed are a
ReplyDeletedangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment, as it is often
done purely to please a male onlooker or due to the influence of drugs
and alcohol.
Look, I know and America knows and the cat knows that right wingers are shameless hypocrites, but it reaches new heights when the plots of their favorite porn to finger wag about something as innocuous as song lyrics.
But for once I have some actual knowledge of pop lyrics written this century! Ms. Perry specifically mentions that it upsets her boyfriend. And since she doesn't mention being drunk, it should be OK.
Also, must note that once again that these people have a desperately warped sense of what is current. How old is this song?
Now, thanks to the internet and NRO, we have access to more boobs than we could ever want.
ReplyDeleteAnd while the boobs from NRO are soft and come in a variety of shapes and sizes, we do not find them stimulating.
Well, he shot that man in Reno, and then we learned he was a boy named Sue. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteWith one hand?
ReplyDeleteHe's so enthusiastic he typed it with his nose, so he had both hands free.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while for the memo to make it to the hinterland from the Comintern (I beg your pardon, the CCC or Conservative Central Committee) so the pop cult references are always about five years out of date.
ReplyDeleteThe lack of talent notwithstanding (does anybody actually sing anymore, or are we doomed to autotune for eternity?), I find all the cultural/moral scolds so amusing. I don't feel any need to defend Minaj or any other artist. But I do feel a need to poke fun at anyone who whines about the kids today and their crazy music, and how it just shows what degenerates the kids are becoming.
ReplyDelete(Sidebar: I wrote a chapter about popular music in the 1850-1870 period for a history textbook. If you think today's hit music is bawdy and over the edge, you should try looking up some of what was selling bigtime back then.)
I eagerly await Delgado's discovery of Victorian spanking porn.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's incredibly current when compared to when sexual lyrics actually came on the scene.
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't know that it's exactly a morally uplifting song, but at the same time, I'm not sure I'd want my children performing "Like a virgin" in front of a national audience either.
ReplyDeleteYou have to do a lot of cherry picking to make the argument that Minaj is somehow out of line with (at least) the last 30 years of pop.
And yet this is the very same A.J. Delgado who tried to make the case that conservatives are actual the cool kids, not those dweeby libs.
ReplyDeleteWe're living in a material world and AJ Delgado is a girl who is out of material.
ReplyDeleteTo recap: Sleep with a guy because he’s a rich drug dealer! Men, in return for sex, will buy you Alexander McQueen and Balmain clothing. Also allow a man to sleep with you because he sells cocaine, and sample the drugs yourself.
ReplyDeleteLovely. How is this even sexy, rather than sad, desperate, and repulsive?
Awhile ago a coworker was websurfing - don't tell anyone - and found the names of some metal bands: Rotting Christ, Eyehategod, et al. His Catholic dander was up and he asked why they had to use such offensive names. I told him in so many words "because they knew you'd react just the way you're reacting now." Not sure he got it.
Similarly, Delgado doesn't get that young people sure can find Minaj's nighttime soap lyrics sexy when old people like Delgado - who's younger than me according to the calendar and no one else - get into a high dudgeon about them.
Methinks she would have already discovered it if Derb still wrote for NRO.
ReplyDeleteUltimately what it comes down to, is she was able to find 2 sentences like that in a dozen singles. It's not exactly representative.
ReplyDeleteAnd most importantly, contra Delgado, no one listens to Nicki Minaj for the lyrics anymore.
ReplyDeleteAlso, must note that once again that these people have a desperately warped sense of what is current. How old is this song?
Considering their usual go-to examples for liberal depravity, this is practically cutting-edge. These are people who regularly whip themselves into a lather about Piss Christ, after all, and how long ago was that? I'm surprised they're not still raviang about the evils of bathtub gin.
Luckily she can keep recycling the same old material and no one in her circle will mind. She's very green in that way.
ReplyDeleteI'm not particularly hip to the tunes of today's youth, but:
ReplyDeleteHow does that almost-point apply to the song Delgado is talking about?Because regardless of what the narrator within the song says, Katy Perry could potentially be using the lyrics in the "girls making out is hot" sense? This interpretation no doubt remains unfair to Ms. Perry (hence "almost") , but still, "Light of Some Kind" it ain't.
Of course, none of this is what Delgado had in mind, given the excised bits and, as noted, everything else she had to say. But I do recall some non-conservative sources expressing discontent with the song.
Next week: a deconstruction of "Monster Mash" from a literary theoretical standpoint.
I was thinking medieval, but that's only because I don't know about earlier periods. I bet you a dollar to a doughnut a little research would find there's been music about sex as long as there's been music, though. I have to walk my fish or I'd get right on that.
ReplyDeleteCareful you don't end up with Harry palms.
ReplyDeleteUphill both ways dammit!
ReplyDelete"The truth is, teenage women and women in their earlier twenties are even
ReplyDeletemore affected by Minaj’s lyrics boasting about prostitution
(essentially), drug use, and overall immorality. Unlike the little
girls, they understand every word of the lyrics, absorb them, and
possibly emulate them."
It has always been this way. Teenage women and women in their earlier twenties, unlike little girls, understand every word of "The Continental," "Love for Sale," "Blue Suede Shoes," and "Mercedes Benz," absorbing them and possibly emulating them, telling of their love while they dance, climbing stairs to sell their "wares" in what is (essentially) prostitution, doing anything they want other than stepping upon a certain pair of shoes, and demanding that God buy them a German car, possibly.
Speaking as a professional musicologist, OMFG YES.
ReplyDeleteHow much can you say about Monster Mash after you've established that it fucking rules?
ReplyDeleteWell, the NRO staff should be relieved to learn that "Sympathy For The devil" proves that Satan really DOES exist.
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly in the Bible (if we assume Song of Solomon was sung).
ReplyDeleteYes. If we make suitability for children the test for acceptable entertainment, then we'd have to throw away a LOT of stuff, and anyone who comes near my books will DIE.
ReplyDeleteGet off my lawn, and take your raccoon coat with you.
ReplyDeleteI was a kid in the 80s, by the end of the 80s I had seen every part of Madonna's body I ever wanted to see, as well as a few I didn't want to and never wish to revisit.
ReplyDeleteOf course the subtext here is that while white women can fight for and win ownership of their own bodies, the bodies of a black woman is public property forever and any damn person can tell them what they should do with it. I am 100% in favour of Ms Minaj doing whatever she wants with her ass and/or other unspecified body parts because that is one of the most important parts of feminism, owning your own damn body. It should be noted that this is not an endorsement of Ms Minaj, her music or her ass and/or other unspecified body parts.
I am also amazed that this is not Obama's fault, though secretly we know it is, right? This is what Michelle means when talks about eating healthy, government mandated badonkadonk for every white girl.
Now I have this image of old Johhny Cash twerking, while singing Unchained.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not disliking it.
Thanks, Obama!
.
Maybe she meant to say "when one isn't unnaturally disposed."
ReplyDeleteUphill both ways
ReplyDeleteIYKWIMAITYD.
For the answer to that, you'll need to read my monograph, Monster Mash: It Fucking Rules, But What Then?
ReplyDeleteConservatives are incapable of viewing art as anything other than propaganda. It's why they have to cobble together half assed "top conservative rock songs lists" or try to explain how Terminator 2 is really a libertarian warning. Don't even get started on soda commercials where people are singing God Bless America. Talk about treason.
ReplyDeleteYes--as the recent example of the 9 year old girl who accidentally shot the gun range instructor demonstrates there's shit loads of grown up stuff that we wouldn't want our children to do. That really has nothing to do with the case.
ReplyDeleteMoaned, more likely.
ReplyDeleteIf no one sang about women receiving money and gifts in exchange for sex there wouldn't be any prostitution at all, obviously. Certainly no sex trafficking of minors and forced prostitution for helpless foreign women whose passports are taken from them.
ReplyDeleteOr gurgled, what with all that wine apparently being drunk out of navels.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Divine or Rupaul rather than Berle
ReplyDeleteTeenage women and women in their earlier twenties, unlike little girls,
ReplyDeleteunderstand every word of "The Continental," "Love for Sale," "Blue Suede
Shoes," and "Mercedes Benz,"
Also, to quote Willie Dixon "The men don't know, but the little girls understand"
Monster Mash is totally about tribbing.
ReplyDeleteThis openly militaristic, anything-goes mentality may have taken off several
ReplyDeleteyears ago, with Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler’s “Ballad of the Green Beret,” in which the non-oppressed Sadler nonetheless suggested to Green Berets that experimenting
with dying for the oppressed is sexy and playful. (The truth is, dying acts when
one isn’t naturally disposed are a dangerous opponent to life and the pursuit of happiness, as it is often done purely to please a male onlooker
or due to the influence of drugs and alcohol.)
i read "aj delgado" as "aj daulerio," and my first thought was literally, "what happened to the guy who wrote such a sensitive summary and review of the hulk hogan sex tape?"
ReplyDeleteMy gentle cock, who croweth me day; let me tell you about him.
ReplyDeleteRather a lot, it turns out.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Rot in Crotch.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, teenage women and women in their earlier twenties are even more affected by Minaj’s lyrics boasting about prostitution
ReplyDelete(essentially), drug use, and overall immorality. Unlike the little
girls, they understand every word of the lyrics, absorb them, and
possibly emulate them.
Yes, there's nothing more empowering than the theory that women are such dumb moo cows that they might turn into zombie skanks if they hear naughty song lyrics. I'm not sure how she explains Minaj's & Perry's dissemination of naughty song lyrics. Are they similarly brain-washed bunnies or are they Lilith-like trouble makers? If the former, what can you do? If the latter, what the fuck can you do?
And what about other performers? Are young women immune to lyrics sung by men? What about older women?
Also, I love the stretch she makes to say Minaj is glorifying prostitution. If sex for any form of consideration = prostitution, then that makes a "traditional" marriage (woman relies on man for food, shelter, pin money, etc), what, exactly?
And what the refried hell does she think the song "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" is about? (Yes, I'm assuming she's aware of the song, and also that it was recorded shortly after WWII. Probably a mistake.)
All of this plays to the idea that women and young girls have no agency, no volition of their own. Everything they do and think must come to them from some outside source.
ReplyDeleteLiving with a such a worldview must be a constant shock, since women actually do have thoughts of their own--and sometimes even act on those thoughts without considering what their male minders or female moral authorities might think.
Art in service of politics is the highest good, no matter how many contortions one must make to force-fit The Birth of Venus into the conservative box.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know people bothered listening to Nicki Manaj lyrics. I sure don't. Got one small taste and was, like,"No thanks." So my son and I just dance to "Masquerade" and forget the song even has lyrics.
ReplyDeleteI think the song--aside from just being awful--is about as male-gazey as it gets. From start to finish it seems like a musical version of two drunk girls in a bar kissing in front of frat guys.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I'm actually a fan of Katy Perry. I've enjoyed several of her songs since her unfortunate debut.
And have they noticed how short Betty Boop's skirt was?
ReplyDeleteFor shame!
That's nothing! I committed suicide back in the '80s because I was influenced by Black Sabbath albums...
ReplyDeleteI eagerly await my discovery of Victorian spanking porn.
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks for the link. That was fascinating.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's nothing that says "female empowerment" more than the Catholic Church.
ReplyDeleteI think she is simply re-living some of her college days.
ReplyDeleteOr elderly JC applying Preparation H while singing "Ring Of Fire".
ReplyDeleteWell, glibertarians sort of think drugs are okay, certain kinds of drugs, that is, and for certain kinds of people (glibertarians), that is.
ReplyDeleteDie-Hard Conservatives, on the other hand, being the moral scolds and law `n order bustle-busters that they are, are positively Nixonian about drugs. To them, Jack Daniels is a sign of civilization, while Maui Wowie is the devil's roll-yer-own. Just more proof that they've pretty much had things ass-backwards all along.
And, to the Delgados of these United States, it's perfectly okay to challenge the materialism of all non-tribal members without in any way damaging the respectability of the jerb cre-ayyy-ters and on-tree-pee-nurs, such as the Kochs (we'll just ignore for the moment that Chuckie and Davey inherited $330 million each at an age when most of us were still trying to figure out how to pay off the student loan and make the rent each month, but they're still entrepreneurs to the wingnutz).
So, no, they don't see any contradictions in that. It's all about trying to piss on their perceived lessers, even though they do end up pissing on their own shoes most of the time.
Yes, of course. But, one has to understand that "cool" to a conservative means something entirely different than it means to the rest of the world (and, possibly, the rest of the galaxy). To them, Jeane Kirkpatrick was cool. Ronald Reagan was cool. John Bolton was cool. Doughy Loadpants is cool. Breitbart was cool. Drudge was edgy (he wore a fedora) and cool.
ReplyDeleteIn Conservoworld, if you're young and insane and reactionary, or you're old and white and corrupt, you're cool.
Oh my...that was wonderful!! Great fun for a Wednesday morning so thanks much.
ReplyDeleteLike Kurt Vonnegut used to say "I'm just an old fart with my Pall Mall's" so I understand completely. In fact I've had this type of conversation with my friends (I'm 66) about listening to "oldies but goodies" from 1966 and trying to figure out what kids will be remembering as their favorite when they reach 66.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to say. When I first landed in southern NM in the early `90s, the local PBS station had a student-run music show late on Saturday night, and I was kind of amazed to hear Hendrix and the like being played, and this is an area that if there was any retro revival interest, I would have figured it would have been for Pat Boone.
ReplyDeleteBack in the `60s, the watchword was "cream rises," and I think that's still true today. The good stuff remains in the collective memory of society and the mediocre disappears, regardless of the fickle tastes of the moment.
Well, in truth, bathtub gin was pretty evil stuff.
ReplyDeleteI remember my father telling me about how his father would complain about Big Band music being nothing but noise--because my grandfather grew up listening to opera on a wind-up Victorola.
ReplyDeleteOur youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.--Socrates
Although Socrates doesn't mention it, I imagine that, even 2500 years ago, oldsters were complaining about the kids and their music. Maybe even about how the kids wear their togas too low.
And there's nothing more wholesome than opera!
ReplyDeleteApparently, she's never heard of 'The End' by the Doors, or its source material.
ReplyDelete"(The truth is, bisexual acts when one isn’t naturally disposed are a dangerous opponent to morality and female empowerment, as it is often done purely to please a male onlooker or due to the influence of drugs and alcohol.)"
ReplyDelete"Gawd, I hate scenarios where everybody wins."
They are like a bag of sand.
ReplyDeleteBlack Sabbath, bah, back when I was a kid we had to make do with St. Winebald Day and St. Eichatadt Day. and who wants to go bald from drinking wine. Well I didn't want to anyway, but did Satan care about my hair. I guess so that is probably why he took it.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to make the song sound like a landmark of feminism, but I do think the "male-gazey" quality of it is has more to do with the drunk-coquette feel of the performance, rather than what the lyrics are saying.
ReplyDeletethat was to show there wasn't even room for an aspirin between her knees
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed several of her songs since her unfortunate debut.
ReplyDeleteWasn't that "Ur So Gay"? In her defense, that was about a guy.
Think of the Internet as a series of boob-tubes. With sidings.
ReplyDeleteTTWROOMM. Links!
ReplyDeleteSex in music started with Louie Louie. We think.
ReplyDeleteHave they noticed the times she didn't have one on? Betty was sumpin' else, BITD. Banned a few times, in fact.
ReplyDeleteIt's Winglish™. There oughtta be a website...
ReplyDeleteBack then you took what you could get...
ReplyDeleteOr How to Marry a Millionaire...
ReplyDeleteI love that directly below that article is a link to "Watch KISS play your favorite songs."
ReplyDeleteFucking hell, Breakfast at Fucking Tiffanys.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, "wine" being "drunk" out of "navels". He said knowingly.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely doubt that that's what she means. There is some legitimate criticism of girls kissing girls primarily as a performance for men (see, for example, any random Girls Gone Wild trailer), but a certain particularly homophobic segment of wingnuttery has seized upon that--taking it out of the context of a larger critique of objectification and whatnot--and turning it into "it's just a fad and will go away on its own, so never mind your so-called 'rights' you so-called 'bisexuals'".
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd want my theoretical eight-year-old to be singing along to "Cocaine", either. Or "Touch Me" by the Doors. Or, well, you catch my drift.
ReplyDeleteOr (to use a fictitious example, but one based on research) take "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" from Game of Thrones. "He licked the honey from her hair", IYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDelete