Tuesday, April 22, 2014


If you thought it was liberal fascism for the Mozilla board to oust its CEO for an anti-gay contribution, now's your chance to show us it was all about principle: The Boy Scouts are revoking a charter over a gay scoutmaster. Go tell 'em they're Hitler!

UPDATE. "Oh Roy," says commenter keta. "You've a better chance of bottling a fart in a whirlwind than getting a conservative to remain consistent on 'principle.'" Yes, and you know, I was originally going to give this one a miss because I like to keep the tu quoque low in the mix. But it's a slow day. Also, I do have a fart in a bottle, harvested during a whirlwind, and its value just keeps going up.

UPDATE 2. Ah, serendipity -- ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© points out that Crooked Timber's John Quiggin just recently addressed the conservative tendency to make up bogus tu quoque arguments -- for instance, that "the left is just as anti-science as the right," a moronic claim that's become part of conservative theology.


  1. In lieu of a single response, here's a list of possible responses as to why this is different. Please check every entry that applies to your worldview.

    _ Being gay isn't a free speech issue, you fascists.

    _ They're just resisting gay influence. Oh, I suppose you think they shouldn't be allowed to do that?

    _ Something something Christian persecution.

    _ Would you want your daughters being watched by a pedophile?

    _ How dare you claim that we called gay people pedophiles!

    _ We only have a problem when the government does that.

    _ What do you mean the government wasn't involved with Mozilla? Why, according to Prison Planet...

    _ They're just stopping a recruitment drive. *smug grin*

    _ Since when do you libs support Nazis? (insert long quote from Scott Lively)

    _ Don't call me racist! (included for completeness)

  2. Oh Roy. You've a better chance of bottling a fart in a whirlwind than getting a conservative to remain consistent on "principle."

  3. BigHank5312:59 PM

    To be fair, I've got mine, fuck you! is a sort of principle.

  4. sharculese12:59 PM

    Obviously, the morally correct answer is that the BSA offered a perfectly reasonable compromise over the gays in scouting issue here, intolerant left are the real bigots for insisting that nothing but acquiescence to their hardline pro-homosexual agenda will do, and the real victims are the 15 scouts who got caught up in this Church's crusade (no attempt will be made to find out how the scouts actually feel).

  5. Halloween_Jack2:33 PM

    Say what you will, at least it's an ethos.

  6. coozledad2:35 PM

    Dan Beard also had a thing for travelling to the woods to erect log structures with the assistance of a group of strapping young men-
    invigrorating baths in cold mountain streams, Mandan flesh-ripping ordeals, making jerky.

    Or maybe I'm thinking of Ernst Rohm.

  7. Halloween_Jack2:36 PM

    They're waiting to hear from Andrew Sullivan (aka Conservatism's Leading House Homo™) to work up a post on the theme of Eh, I'm OK With It, The Real Problem Is...

  8. JennOfArk2:50 PM

    Also, I do have a fart in a bottle, harvested during a whirlwind, and its value just keeps going up.

    Eh? Wha happen, you go stormchasing with Jonah Goldberg?

  9. LookWhosInTheFreezer3:04 PM

    In a Monday statement to CNN, the BSA said it doesn't believe "the topic of sexual orientation has a role in Scouting and it is not discussed unless it is deliberately injected into Scouting."

    Well at least they've finally moved on from having it "rammed down their throats." It's evolution of a sort.

  10. redoubtagain3:06 PM

    For "stormchasing" insert "double chili cheese fries at Sonic drive thru"

  11. NonyNony3:10 PM

    "Something something Christian persecution."

    This one's gonna be my favorite, since we're in the context of the Boy Scouts revoking their charter from a Methodist Church that was practicing their religious ideals of tolerance by hiring a gay scoutmaster. "Freedom of Religion" pretty much ends when it isn't about religion preaching anti-contraception, anti-abortion, and anti-gay scriptures...

  12. The Wind that Shakes the Belly...

  13. These two instances are completely unalike! Brendan Eich is rich and the gay scoutmaster's just a working schmo.

  14. gocart mozart3:30 PM

    shitcoins is the future!

  15. coozledad3:36 PM

    When Duchamps puts a fart in a bottle
    he wants you to ask yourself WHY?
    But for Goldberg the art's in avoiding a shart.
    It's his struggle to keep his work dry.

  16. redoubtagain3:40 PM

    . . .Is The Wind That Makes Fallacies With Its Own Leaps of Logic Thanks To Innate Laziness Makes The Conservative World

  17. Isn't a fart in a whirlwind at least an example of "I've got mine, now you do too?"

  18. Well, they are unalike. Eich was fired by customers, workers, and a cabal of the lower orders while the scoutmaster and the entire troop were fired by their masters.

  19. Depends on how strong the wind is blowing.

  20. smut clyde5:15 PM

    I always imagined that "sowing the wind and reaping the hurricane" meant something more impressive.

  21. Jay B.5:42 PM

    Yeah, on one hand liberals were pissed off about a bigot who hated gays and on the other, liberals got pissed off at an organization that hates gays. WHY CAN'T WE JUST MAKE UP OUR MINDS?!?

  22. Derelict6:12 PM

    I want to tenderly powder this comment's bottom, then swaddle it in the finest high-thread-count diapers.

  23. Derelict6:14 PM

    I think that, in this case, they'll fall back on their other favorite rallying cry: "Think of the children!!1!!11!"

  24. Derelict6:15 PM

    Indeed. And then Sully will get all pissy and hurt because nobody has the intellect to understand him--he's just looking for the good of society.

  25. M. Krebs6:28 PM

    And hold the salt!

  26. Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.7:45 PM

    he's just looking for the good of society.
    At least as far as a thatcherite is capable of. Also doesn't apply to swarthy people because of The Bell Curve. E pur si muove and so on.

  27. XeckyGilchrist7:46 PM

    But you'll get fired if you call it Evolution in a nice Christian organization. For balance.

  28. When you put it that way...I...I feel...ashamed.

  29. AGoodQuestion8:08 PM

    "The left is just as anti-science as the right" translates to "you guys got pissy over The Bell Curve that one time," doesn't it?

  30. AGoodQuestion8:10 PM

    The good of society, as determined by people who don't believe society exists.

  31. Smarter than Your Average Bear8:10 PM

    You forgot BILLARY and CLINTON

  32. Smarter than Your Average Bear8:12 PM

    Yup I do every time a paedophile priest diddles one

  33. Smarter than Your Average Bear8:19 PM

    Or how many of the scouts are gay :)

  34. Smarter than Your Average Bear8:21 PM

    Circle round

  35. Shakezula8:26 PM

    If I could save farts in a bottle,
    The first thing that I'd like to do.
    Is to save every fart
    that J Goldberg emitted
    And then I would share them with you...

  36. MBouffant8:47 PM

    WARNING DANGER Web Log Pimpery Ahead!

    Esp. as A. Sullivan is mentioned below, earlier I wondered about reaction to the resignation of Marionville, Mo.'s possibly anti-Semitic mayor., esp. by the Sullivan ilk. It's a tough call.

  37. MikeJ9:19 PM

    It is perfectly in keeping with conservative principles to say it is wrong to fire a CEO for damaging your brand but ok to fire a franchise assistant manager just to demonstrate your power.

  38. JennOfArk9:37 PM

    True story - I started writing lyrics to this effect upthread - then abandoned the comment when I couldn't figure out a good rhyme with "do". Because I didn't think sharing Goldberg's farts with you good people would be very NICE so I had to rule out the obvious "you".

  39. coozledad9:53 PM

    You've also got to be careful when channeling Jim Croce. He might return to the land of the dead, but his pornstache lingers.

  40. JennOfArk9:56 PM

    Dude, that was awesome.

  41. Shakezula10:23 PM

    I was thinking You would be someone I didn't like. However:

    If I could save farts etc, yadda
    And share with lib fascism's new Jew.


    And whip up a big toxic stew.


    And use them to clear out a loo

    And fill all of our lives with rue.

    ...Kill a kangaroo.

    OK, I must stop now and giggle inanely for a while because I am 12.

  42. MBouffant10:26 PM

    Something "shoe?"

  43. MBouffant10:28 PM

    Indeed. Only the Masters may hire & fire, as it should be.

  44. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:47 PM

    Too true. Our SM was a telephone lineman. And if this troop has the kind of local support ours did, BSA could be in for a surprise...

  45. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:00 PM

    Oh, come now, Conservatives are *always* true to their principles (if you don't believe 'em, just ask 'em). It'll just turn out that the principle wasn't the one we thought they said it was. The core of Conservatism is very like that of the earth. A spinning ball of white-hot irony, under tremendous pressure, carrying the weight of the world on its shoulders...

  46. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume11:24 PM

    Do you have a beef with injections?

  47. Atticus Dogsbody11:56 PM

    You might want to rephrase your comment.

  48. Atticus Dogsbody12:03 AM

    And then I would watch Breakin' 2, Electric Boogaloo?

  49. This reminds me of, well...roll the ugliness....


  50. Mooser1:17 PM

    "And then I would share them with you..."

    Thank God, there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do, once you find them. I've looked around enough to know.

  51. Mooser1:21 PM

    Or how many Scouts aren't really worrying (if, indeed it does turmn out to be a worry) about that yet, and just friggin like the guy, and think he's a good Scoutmaster.

  52. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:19 PM

    Ahem. "Buttcoins" (or perhaps "Dinglebucks") if I may. Or even if I mayn't...

  53. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:20 PM

    The Principle of the Least Given Shit...