Ole Perfesser Instapundit's waving the stars and bars at USA Today under the title, "Americans rising up against government." The column is accompanied by a picture of someone poking a Gadsden flag out of a bunch of umbrellas -- maybe them folks under the umbrellas is all a-decked out like Ben Franklin and the Tea Party is back!
"America's ruling class has been experiencing more pushback than usual lately," the Perfesser commences. "It just might be a harbinger of things to come." How so, Perfesser? Three things:
- "First, in response to widespread protests last week, the Department of Homeland Security canceled plans to build a nationwide license plate database." Funny, I don't remember any such protests -- oh, the Perfesser means widespread in the press and among "lawmakers and privacy advocates," not Ma and Pa Tricorn marching on Washington.
- The FCC's Multi-Market Study of Critical Information Needs, which was going to question newsroom personnel, went down because "the blowback was sufficient to stop it for now." Again, this was not achieved by a popular uprising, but by the press, with its paranoid conservative wing and normal-people wing united in defense of its own interests.
- "As J.D. Tuccille reports: 'Three years ago, the Connecticut legislature estimated there were 372,000 rifles in the state of the sort that might be classified as 'assault weapons,' and 2 million plus high-capacity magazines. ... But by the close of registration at the end of 2013, state officials received around 50,000 applications for 'assault weapon' registrations, and 38,000 applications for magazines.' This is more 'Irish Democracy,' passive resistance to government overreach..."
And yet here's how the Perfesser characterizes it:
Though people have taken to the streets from Egypt, to Ukraine, to Venezuela to Thailand, many have wondered whether Americans would ever resist the increasing encroachments on their freedom. I think they've begun.Us and the guys at Tahrir Square and Maidan Nezalezhnosti! We just have different styles: Furriners do uprising by putting their bodies on the line in lethal mass demonstrations, whereas American patriots sit on their asses and wait for the heroism commendations to roll in.
The timeline of conservative derangement is long and complicated, but I think I can trace this particular strain of gibberish back to Human Achievement Hour, in which conservatives portrayed Americans who did not change their normal everyday energy-use patters as implicit supporters of their anti-environmentalist cause, and the Battle of Chick-Fil-A, in which conservatives showed their hatred of homosexuals (or love of freedom, whatever) by gorging on fast food and deputizing everyone they saw at the mall as co-conspirators. It's the perfect form of activism for a movement largely composed of agitated geriatrics, shut-ins, and people who think they're entitled to everything, including revolutionary status, without raising a sweat for it.
UPDATE. From commenter Fats Durston:
The Revolution Will Be Sitting In Front Of The Television
You will be able to stay home, brother.
You will be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will be able to lose yourself on Xanax and
skip out for beer during commercials, if you haven't DVR'd
Because the revolution will be sitting in front of the television.
The revolution will be sitting in front of the television
Brought to you by Xbox...
Shorter Perfesser: "Americans deserve to have just as much freedom as they can buy."
ReplyDeleteConservatism has always been about "we should be given first place just for existing"
ReplyDeleteShorter Ole Perfesser: "This is the sort of 'rebellion' that I can really get behind, because I can't figure out how it might threaten me personally." A tenured law professor doesn't think he's part of the "ruling class", or that there might be something inherently contradictory in a law professor advocating for mob rule... or maybe he's thinking that the Singularity is just around the corner, this time for real, guys. Or he really does believe that, once the dust settles, white property owners like him will have exclusive rights to the vote again. Good luck with that, Mr. Heh-Indeedy.
ReplyDeleteWhy just this morning I drove by what appeared to be an illegal search of a vehicle and made mental note of my displeasure. Of such actions are revolutions born.
ReplyDeleteThe DHS cancels a license plate database, and the Perfesser calls this "push-back" against "America's ruling class." If I had made this up as a satirical piece of exaggeration to characterize Reynolds, I would have been well pleased.
ReplyDeleteIs this how he teaches law? One day his graduates, after they're laughed out of every court room and law firm in the country, are going to get together on Facebook and bring new, literal meaning to the term "class action suit."
In regards to the Ole Perfessers revolution: Sign me up as a diplomat my only office is the park!!!
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is, they don't have access to a mob. A few dookie trousered old shits for brains, some skinheads from the woods and some trustafarians. All you'd have to do is drop a few bags of cash and some donuts from a helicopter, and they'd rip each other apart like a bunch of starved rats.
ReplyDeleteIn North Carolina,and a few other former confederate states, as well as Ohio, the NAACP and other groups are coalescing around the threat to voting rights and registering voters in advance of the poll taxes that will be part of the voting landscape by 2016. I know some folks don't think the ability to flood the streets of a southern backwater with eighty thousand people is as important as thirty moribunds gumming a chicken sandwich, but then again few people are as enthralled by the power of Clear Channel as the Perfesser and assorted other fudgepants.
I'll bet they'd sign on with that license plate database the moment a gooper was back in charge of it. Much like the USA PATRIOT Act.
ReplyDelete~
Or voter ID laws.
ReplyDelete"When your movement is the key tool of a nasty dictator it should give you pause, shouldn't it?"
ReplyDelete- Ye Ole Perfesser, on Iraq War protests
Reynolds teaches stuff like "space law," so I really don't think anyone's getting much out of the Hehindiddler's classes to begin with.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the Dr. Ol' Perfesser found a real-live protest about any of these issues that he could physically not join.
ReplyDeleteThis idiot reminds me of Clarence Thomas. They both have lifetime appointments, and neither one can be assed to actually do the job for which they are (very well) compensated. Both the Supreme Court and the UT Law School should hang their heads in shame.
ReplyDeleteIt was an age in which activism had become popular, and even normal. No longer restricted to radicals, protests were an increasingly standard part of life for many Americans. For some, this took the form of marches, letter-writing campaigns, or even direct action. Others, who had less ardor but were no less sincere, organized email campaigns or dispatched their thoughts from blogs. Even the least passionate felt compelled to share videos voicing their beliefs, if only to keep up appearances with their activist friends. It was an age when people wore their politics on their sleeves.
ReplyDeleteBut there were those who rejected this culture of agitation, and found a new way to strike back: They did nothing. Nothing at all. In their time, it must have looked like apathy, but this was far from the case. Through the lens of history, we now know that these brave souls were engaging in the truest form of protest - a protest against protesting. By their inaction, they struck back at the government, at the business world, at academia, at enemies abroad, and - most importantly - at the instigators who lived next door.
Today, we'll meet some of these very special culture warriors. We'll talk to people who left their lights on during Earth Hour (WOMAN: "Well, I didn't know it existed. I might have heard the name, but I didn't know where I was."). In diners across the nation, we'll meet with people who silently voiced their displeasure over economic policy by short-changing the waitstaff (MAN: "She brought the wrong order twice and spent the whole time flirting with a guy at the next table. I should add fifteen percent for that?"). A trip down the nation's highways will reveal another form of quiet protest - the car left at the side of the road to protest the ongoing struggles in the Middle East (WOMAN: "There's definitely gas in it. The radio's not working, so maybe it's the battery? Damn it, why won't you help us?"). And in an exclusive interview, we'll sit down with a man who has never posted nor shared a politically-tinged video, article or image (MAN: "Go away! I only opened that account because my friends kept pestering me, I don't even like Facebook! Get those cameras out of my face!").
That's coming up today, on A History of the Blogged Word, Part XI - The Laziest Heroes. Sponsored by ViralNova - Making the Internet a more meme-y place since 2013.
Running up your own electric bill, eating at Chick-Fil-A, and watching Duck Dynasty. Start the revolution without me.
ReplyDeleteAdd to which the article should really have appeared in CSA Today.
ReplyDeleteI hear Mitt Romney's technical team is working on a "revolutionary" new app that brings together conservatives to not do things. Users will be presented with a list of local things to not do, and then not be reminded to not do them. What's revolutionary about this app is that it crowdsources the inactivity - users won't even have to pick the things they won't do. Using a proprietary gamification algorithm the app won't pick things not to do and in fact won't even present them to the user to not do. Users will earn "Badges of Honor" for their non-accomplishments automatically. There will of course be in-app purchases, where users can unlock conservative emoji (marshmallow with a tricorne hat, bag of cheetos) starting at $20.
ReplyDeleteI'm not wild about his application of the word "blowback," either.
ReplyDeleteI think that is the definition given in Conservapedia for things like "Heritage."
ReplyDeleteName the app! I'll start: "Flabby Words"
ReplyDeletepassive resistance to government overreach
ReplyDeleteIsn't passive resistance by definition the very opposite of "taking to the street"?
It also puts me in mind of the great show of uprising that took place back in '10 when conservatives took such political action as pulling their cars over to the side of the road and stopping. I believe Sarah Palin was among those advocating this dramatic and compelling piece of political theatre.
ReplyDeleteThe Ole Perfesser, 2/12: "A Syllabus for the Occupy Movement"
ReplyDeleteBourgeois vs. Non-Bourgeois Revolutions: A Comparison and Contrast. The Occupy movement left its major sites—McPherson Square in D.C., Zuccotti Park in Manhattan, Dewey Square in Boston —filthy and disheveled. By contrast, the tea party protests famously left the Washington Mall and other locations cleaner than they found them, with members proudly performing cleanup duties.
i will set aside the irony of the tea partiers taking their sobriquet from a bunch of guys who dressed in costume and wrecked a bunch of corporate merchandise. oh no, wait, i won't.
Wait a minute! Why not "Turn on" (to conservatism) "Tune In" (get the App!) and "Drop Out" (for the non-actions)!!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the addendum: "Anybody who actually fights for freedom, especially if they try to fight with in the law, doesn't deserve it."
ReplyDeleteArmchair Heroes. Instead of giving them the Purple Heart, they should get the Yellow Liver.
ReplyDeleteMoney Talks or Money for Nothing.
ReplyDeleteAnd who can forget this exchange between Hugh Hewitt & Time Correspondent Michael Ware. It's tough when the front line is wherever your ass is (that isn't an actual front line, of course).
ReplyDeleteMW: Let's look at it this way. I mean, you're sitting back in a comfortable radio studio, far from the realities of this war.
HH: Actually, Michael, let me interrupt you.
MW: If anyone has a right...
HH: Michael, one second.
MW: If anyone has a right to complain, that's what...
HH: I'm sitting in the Empire State Building. Michael, I'm sitting in the Empire State Building, which has been in the past, and could be again, a target. Because in downtown Manhattan, it's not comfortable, although it's a lot safer than where you are, people always are three miles away from where the jihadis last spoke in America. So that's...civilians have a stake in this. Although you are on the front line, this was the front line four and a half years ago.
A classic.
ReplyDeleteassorted other fudgepants.
ReplyDeletePsst! You misspelled "chuckling."
Why just this morning I drove by what appeared to be an illegal search of a vehicle and made mental note of my displeasure.
ReplyDeleteThereby accomplishing about as much as Senator Rand Paul.
Put the app next to the Hoverround Help Desk app, and you're golden.
ReplyDeletei want peter graves to host a 'biography' episode about this comment.
ReplyDeleteWhat, and remove himself from the warm and loving embrace* of broadband connection, which daily** nourishes*** and uplifts**** him?
ReplyDelete*Tentacle porn.
**Hourly.
***His ego, anyway.
****Part of him is uplifted. At least by the tentacle porn.
Rurality turns its lonely eyes to you.
ReplyDelete"The Revolution Will Be Sitting In Front Of The Television"
ReplyDeleteYou will be able to stay home, brother.
You will be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will be able to lose yourself on Xanax and
skip out for beer during commercials, if you haven't DVR'd
Because the revolution will be sitting in front of the television.
The revolution will be sitting in front of the television
Brought to you by Xbox
In 4 parts with plenty of commercial interruptions,
because that's how HULU rolls.
The revolution will be sitting in front of the television.
The revolution will be brought to you by the
Netflix Originals and will star Kevin Spacey
And a whole bunch of other very white people.
The revolution will give your mouth advanced whitening.
The revolution will be applied directly to the forehead.
The revolution will make you five pounds heavier,
the revolution will be sitting in front of the television.
There will be pictures of cops shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be pictures of wannabe-cops shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be pictures of Miley Cyrus being
run out of Montana on a wrecking ball.
There will be a slow motion of Phil
Robertson strolling through a swamp in a Red, White and
Blue camo jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the right occasion.
The revolution will be able to skip this ad after five seconds.
But you will have to worry about what could save you fifteen percent or more.
The revolution will be sitting in front of the television,
the television, the television.
Or maybe just your phone.
I would like to share the first minute of a new day with this comment after a long winter in America.
ReplyDeleteAmerican patriots sit on their asses and wait for the heroism commendations to roll in.
ReplyDelete"But. The tweets! The A-N-G-R-Y tweets! Those are heroic, right?"
As I recall, the Occupiers were usually rushed offstage amid tear gas and batons, not offered a chance to proudly perform cleanup duties.
ReplyDeleteOne also wonders what the ole perf thinks is the correlation (or causation?) between being personally neat and having good ideas about democracy. If we found proof that Ben Franklin left his socks lying around in the worst way, would it invalidate electricity and freedom?
I misread that as the Heinleindiddler and that works quite well, too.
ReplyDeleteWho are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
ReplyDeleteI'd like to sit in front of the television with this comment.
ReplyDeleteDoing nothing can actually be a very effective form of protest, though of course not in any of the examples cited by Ol' Perfesser.
ReplyDeleteIf every minimum wage worker - or even a sizable minority of them - in the country "did nothing" in the form of not showing up for work for a week or two, we'd stop hearing about how expendable they are as an excuse for not paying them.
If everyone in the country (or even a sizable minority) had cancelled or refused to buy health insurance, we never would have had to fight to get the ACA, because crashing the market would have forced single payer. Bankrupting the insurers would have taken them out of the game.
If everyone in the country who thinks Wal Mart is an evil empire stopped buying shit from them, they wouldn't control 20% of ALL. RETAIL. TRADE.
So, doing nothing can be the most effective thing, though in all the cases I've cited, it would involve some personal risk and inconvenience. Which is why the Ol' Perfesser chose the examples he did - wingtards don't like being asked for personal sacrifice.
It seems like only last year that a brave subset of the brethren wanted to go all "Wolverines!" on the energy grid. Or, at least, were happy to encourage the daydreams of those who did. How the mighty-in-their-own-minds have softened.
ReplyDeleteHelicopters are expensive and this is the 21st century. They'd drop the cash and donuts from drones.
ReplyDeleteThere is law in space, although I doubt there is much in the way of litigation. The best and most useful orbits are valuable real estate and are assigned by the International Telecommunications Union. So I have no doubt that every entity capable of putting a satellite in a stable orbit has a space lawyer on hand to make sure no one else poaches their orbital position. On Thursdays all six of them go bowling.
ReplyDeleteRoy, I'm ashamed of you. You couldn't even come up with The Battle of Cable Box?
ReplyDelete" the Battle of Chick-Fil-A, in which conservatives showed their hatred of homosexuals"
ReplyDeleteSo supporting a private individuals right for free speech, given that his company has a non-discrimination policy, is "hatred of homosexuals"?
You must have a learning disability or something. I'd think your a product of Common Core, but you're a bit long in the tooth for that. Perhaps it's the onset of dementia?
Not a "private individual."
ReplyDelete