Sunday, January 19, 2014
NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...
...about the latest rightblogger outreach to women: a bunch of essays about how ugly Lena Dunham is. It's a cinch! The small number of people who know who Lena Dunham is won't we swayed one way of the other, but the ones who don't know who Lena Dunham is will see that conservatives are mad at some woman for making them look at her tits, and that's bound to make an impression.
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Lena Dunham's like the wingnut equivalent of Chinese food. "Any new ideas for this week? Anyone...shit, I guess it's Dunham again."
ReplyDeleteI had absolutely no idea that the whingers were up in arms over Lena Dunham. Thanks, Roy.
ReplyDeleteI think.
I hope this doesn't portend that nude Chris Christie selfies are about to come to light.
ReplyDeletei could only get as far as ace of spades; reading him on women is like listening to john wayne gacy talk about basements.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was to mock these guys for all but admitting that they expect to be able to masturbate to absolutely everything.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, there might be some deeper analysis to be drawn here. We could consider, once again, the immaturity of the movement - what leads a group of adults to respond to someone appearing in a campaign ad by calling her a fatty in so many words. We may consider, with horror, that some of these adults presumably have daughters, and we can consider whether they've been imparting the "be deeply ashamed of your less-than-perfect body" message on their own kin. Or we could consider what this weird little episode tells us about the brethren's bizarre, MRA-like perspective on feminism, and how that's going to hurt them if anyone ever catches on.
But on third thought, none of this is worth that much effort, so I'm just going to call them a pack of Johnny Jerk-Offs and leave it at that.
Dear God, you made it through AoS talking about the female body? I think that should be an achievement of some sort.
ReplyDeletehere's :
ReplyDeleteBehind the riot in the street or debate in Parliament is the maid talking back to her mistress, the worker disobeying her boss. That is why our political arguments—not only about the family but also the welfare state, civil rights, and much else—can be so explosive: they touch upon the most personal relations of power.
"What do you MEAN you're not in the mood for Benghazi? Fine, Dunham it is."
ReplyDeleteTruly vile. And this KEEPS HAPPENING: I read one of Roy's VV columns and think, GOOD LORD--surely if one of the brethren read this, their own unpleasantness and insanity would snap into focus, and they would feel deep shame. But, of course, being incapable of shame is the main prerequisite to being part of their group.
ReplyDeleteIf you're there, God, ALL I ask is for you to grant these fuckers ONE SINGLE MOMENT of complete self-awareness. Just one! The entire wingnut edifice would come tumbling down.
And an hour later they're hungry again.
ReplyDeleteClearly, a new constitutional amendment is needed: the right to change the channel if there's something on TV that you don't like.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had HBO since they dropped Deadwood and went all in for vampires, so do the brethren subscribe to it for the sole purpose of watching and then slagging Lena Dunham? Because that would be pretty fucked up.
ReplyDeleteThey all assume they're Zaphod in the Total Perspective Vortex.
ReplyDeleteYet another bizarre outburst from conservatives obsessed with an actress performing in a role? Is it possible that these people simply cannot distinguish between acted-out drama and real life? Or is it that they think their readers are both dumb as posts and isolated from most other human contact?
ReplyDelete"If You Don't Want To See Lena Dunham Naked You're A Misogynist Or Something," bannered The Lonely Conservative."
ReplyDeleteLonely Conservative, huh? Gee, I can't imagine why... Still, wingers have been seriously chapped ever since Ann Coulter's free speech rights were so cruelly violated by USA Today just because of insights like this:
"As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys
never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's
approval. Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid
cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the
corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing,
hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at
the Democratic National Convention."
That was 2004, and conservatives have been seriously engaged in looking for women to abuse ever since (not the pretty ones, you understand... they're far too intimidating), to the point where we get geniuses like Dan Calabrese yammering: "
"In a broad sense, there is a faction within the entertainment industry
that wants to shove stuff like nudity down the throats of the nation.
"But they seem especially determined in this case to shove nudity as practiced by those who are - how shall I put this? - not exactly beauty queens." I swear to God, HBO subscriptions are just wasted on some people.
a faction within the entertainment industry that wants to shove stuff like nudity down the throats of the nation.
ReplyDeletePâté de foie gras UR DOIN IT RONG.
Someone's probably said this before, but I just want to thank Ben Shapiro for calling his site "Truth Revolt." Talk about apt. If anything can make the truth itself react with revulsion...
ReplyDeleteIn whinger-land, you don't have to watch a TV show before complaining about it. See: I haven't gone to the movies for 20 years because they all stink nowadays.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not into me, that's your problem and you're going to have to work that out with professionals" -- Robert Stacy McCain chortled, "WHOA! A man who isn't 'into' Lena Dunham has a 'problem'? He needs 'to work that out with professionals'? As in, reparative therapy?"
ReplyDeleteIt may seem like McCain is deliberately misinterpreting Dunham's response here, but consider all the times people must have asked him, "Hey man, what the fuck is your problem?" After a while all the different shadings of the word problem just blur together.
Maybe it's more like cleaning out the fridge. Too lazy to go to the store, too cheap to order delivery...eh, what do we have here? Girls? Leftover Sex and the City? When one of them pulls the sexual revolution out of the deep freeze, that's when you know they're desperate for snacks.
ReplyDeleteDo they even watch this stuff? All of their descriptions sound clinical, like they're second- or third-hand. I'm beginning to suspect that they've got one intern watching these shows and writing up white papers that everyone else uses.
ReplyDeleteI mean, come on - these people are much too busy taking about television shows and films to waste time watching television shows and films.
There are websites like Mr. Skin that catalog nude scenes in movies and on TV. It wouldn't surprise me if some enterprising soul put together a site that does the same thing for right wing rage points. In this case there would actually be some overlap between the two.
ReplyDeleteOr is it that they think their readers are both dumb as posts and isolated from most other human contact?
ReplyDeleteThink, hope, whatever.
That dumbass quote is going to be Ann Coulter's legacy, what people remember her for long after she's gone. And you know what? That's a kind of poetic justice in itself.
ReplyDeleteNo Ann, I do not wish my girlfriend was a freak like you.
Hey, don't judge me just because I rage about liberals instead of facing my problems.
ReplyDeleteEspecially since they've already finished off the last of the Jane Fondue and the Streissandwiches.
ReplyDeleteWho took the last of the Pisschristachio ice-cream?!
ReplyDeleteSo, basically, it boils down to, "Why isn't that ugly bitch into me? I hate her so much!!!"
ReplyDeleteAh! The smell of Play Doh & bacon at bed time....yecch.
ReplyDeletegaaaahhhh!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure some of them are into vore, but they fantasize about being devoured by Chris Christie or Rush Limbaugh.
ReplyDeleteThat shit never gets old... it's my equivalent of a hate-on for Lena Dunham.
ReplyDeleteHatefap.com?
ReplyDeleteOne day I would like to live in a world where someone's degree of hotness was not a major political topic...
ReplyDelete"I got 99 problems, but being into Lena Dunham ain't one."
ReplyDeleteNo. I had heard of Girls and that it's apparently some sort of feminist landmark that conservatives always eager to put down, but that's as close as I've ever gotten. I had to Google "Lena Dunham." Would have had to Google "Kate Upton," too, but I just sort of assumed she was someone who's generally regarded as hot and that was the extent of that reference.
ReplyDeleteLena Dunham nude is not exactly Rule 34 territory. She's young and well-put-together. What is funny is the sort of stuff wingnuts do find Teh Hawttness, like Ronald Reagan's loafer or Li'l George Bush's Nomex coverall.
ReplyDeleteYears ago, when I was forced to watch the somatotypical Andy Sipowicz's ass for seven unforgettable seconds, I knew that this would not end well for conservatives. (With the exception of Ace of Spades perhaps, whose own untraditional body type could use a little more exposure, as long as it doesn't make the bacon too moist.)
ReplyDelete"What am I, some kind of miracle worker?" - God
ReplyDeletethey expect to be able to masturbate to absolutely everything.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, this applies to about 90% of the internet.
Stop talking. Now.
ReplyDeleteNo, poetic justice is that ten years ago she was a rock star and now she's a quaint memory. Couldn't be that the conservative manly men who get all the hot babes cut and run when those babes start visibly aging, could it?
ReplyDeleteLive by the botox, die by the botox. Also, S.E. Cupp - this is your future.
"As I'm sure we're all aware, last night on Girls, lefty gynocrat Lena Dunham did...that thing...where she was like...'oh look at me, I'm Lena Dunham!' I mean, wow, right? Anyway, uh, this shows that men are now more oppressed than women ever were, kthxbai."
ReplyDeleteJust saying, there's a lot of vore imagery out there, most of it lovingly rendered with Maya software... so all you have to do is plug in a new body-definition file, and OMFSM MY EYES
ReplyDeleteI do not wish my girlfriend was a freak like you
ReplyDeleteYou've just reminded me of one of the most pathetic yet hilarious things I've ever seen on the internet: Pamela Geller singing that Pussycat Dolls tune to her webcam. I can't tell you why she was singing it, but it was so personal and yet so exhibitionistic, and not in a good, healthy, Folsom Street Fair way.
To be fair, Pam's hubby took the easy way out.
ReplyDeleteYou know what that reminds me of? There was a blurb in Time (sorry no linkee) about how people publishing Bigfoot porn ebooks were making tens of thousands of dollars per month via sales on amazon. Made me wonder if I shouldn't toss my book project to the side in favor of monster BDSM stories. Think 50 Shades of Yeti or something along those lines.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't one of these bozos just once, say. "Know what, no one gives a fuck about Lena Dunham being on Vogue (or whatever the soup du rage is ), so imma ignore it and write about the wonders of nature"?
ReplyDeleteNo I s'pose not what with having minds that flatworms would consider to be inadequate.
C'mon, truth-rammers! Don't you see that all this Brooklynite sexy talk is just a liberal ploy to distract America from the reality of DeBlasiogeddon?
ReplyDeleteDavid Brooks is instructive here. Following his teachings, we must suppose that if the brethren never release their inner Ralphie Emerson, the reason is because they simply smoke too much weed.
ReplyDeleteGood ol' Ace: "I ain't no fag, I just find pussies repulsive!"
ReplyDeleteHow about alien BDSM abduction/probing stories? 50 Shades of Greys...
ReplyDeleteDon't denigrate flatworms... I'm sure none of these bozos ever goes toward the light in a T-maze.
ReplyDeleteYou want to really cause right-wingers' heads to explode? Tell them that Lena Dunham is dating Pajama Boy...
ReplyDeleteOf course not--T-mazes are far too complex for conservatives.
ReplyDeleteThey need "I" mazes
ReplyDeleteChrist, I remember that. I can't recall the details, but she was mocking some Muslim activist, though I can't remember who beyond the woman inquestion was of the opinion that when it came to "democracy in the Middle East", the U.S. really didn't have a leg to stand on.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure why Geller thought implying that the other woman was insufficiently hot - especially in comparison to her own assumed pulchritudity - was a devastating rhetorical shot, but that's what she went with. This was just before she hooked up with John Bolton and his mustache, but don't think about any of that bit too much.
JESUS. I'd log out just so I could downvote you again if it wouldn't require me to scroll down to that comment again.
ReplyDeletehatebate
ReplyDeleteI'm late to the fair and I like SpagLee's "Lena Dunham's the wing nut equivalent of Chinese Food" but I also was thinking that apparently the right to be tittilated by the silent and compliant sex object of your choice is the new flag raising on Iwo Jima for these guys. "Where were you, daddy, when Lena Dunham's nude pix were being criticized? You were at the front, were'nt you? Taking notes?"
ReplyDeleteYou are joking but this is, basically, every MRA post ever. They are parodying one right now over at ManBoobz. One of the interesting things is that even seeing women in public in an entertainer capacity can enrage these guys. One reason is that they are not interested at all in conventional politics and economics so they don't care that those realms are still dominated by men.
ReplyDeleteThey really think that the culture war is a war for tv time for people they like, or would like to fuck, and so every time they turn on a tv and see a woman who they think wouldn't fuck them, or isn't fuckable to them, they take it as a personal insult and a sign that they and white men like themselves are being pushed out of cultural dominance. Because if they were still in charge, as in (they think) the fifties then everything they see, as in Being John Malkovich, would be their own image and reify their own experience.
Its the only reason I can see for their laser like focus on marketing flourishes of the entertainment business. They really aren't interested in politics or the economy as real things that people really do.
So you don't think my multi volume series of porn based on John Cole's polydactyl maine coon cat will be too late to a saturated market?
ReplyDeleteIt should go without saying that the chief objection to Lena Dunham is that she is her own writer/producer/director--if she were just another in a long line of disposable starlets being required to do nude scenes because the male director and the presumed male viewer wants her to then they would willingly drool over her breasts. The biggest insult Dunham offers them is that her writing and her audience are hers. Just as they prefer rape to consensual sex, they prefer forced nudity that humiliates the woman to an authorial choice by a writer/actor/director who uses her own body to express her own ideas.
ReplyDeleteSo: if they can't get off on the writer/director humiliating Dunham by exploiting her nudity they will just have to do the job themselves.
How hot would they find Lena Dunham if during a nude scene she called for a flat tax and the death penalty for illegal immigrants?
ReplyDeleteYou may mock, but Dan Quayle made his bones with the social conservatives (who were probably as embarrassed by him before that as anyone else) with his nattering about Murphy Brown. It's a well-worn and much beloved gambit of the conservatives by now.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that basically what Twitchy is?
ReplyDelete"Dude, please. I spent the whole Old Testament smiting assholes like these, and what did they get out of it? 'God Hates Fags.' That's why you don't see me around much these days; I just fucking gave up." --Tha O.G.
ReplyDeleteTwo Girls and an S. E. Cupp, the extended version.
ReplyDeleteI'm outraged at that blouse she's wearing. Which Tour did she take King of the Mountains in, I ask you? And was she tested for PEDs?
ReplyDeleteThey really think that the culture war is a war for tv time for people they like, or would like to fuck, and so every time they turn on a tv and see a woman who they think wouldn't fuck them, or isn't fuckable to them, they take it as a personal insult and a sign that they and white men like themselves are being pushed out of cultural dominance.
ReplyDeleteThat's helpful. I was thinking that usually when they start in about Declining Standards, you can at least imagine some sort of public good/public danger argument behind it: for example that a lowering of standards for medical or engineering exams means that we'll have less competent surgeons or bridge builders, with the accompanying costs for that. But here they were obsessing over declining fuckability standards for fashion magazine features, and I just couldn't begin to figure out whose lives or fortunes or sacred honor they thought they were guarding by taking this particular hill to stand on. If Lena Dunham gets to be on Vogue, men will have less ____? will suffer more ___? will be forced to ____?
Aren't most of these guys much older than Lena Dunham? The only thing to say about that shit is . "Remember how old fuckers used to look to you?" Lena is not even part of the same sexual universe.
ReplyDeleteShe does not appear to have a thing for old bastards.
Keep telling yourself that there's a young woman out there who would fuck you, if it makes you feel better, but the fact is, you're a piece of old scrod. Embrace it.
"...what leads
ReplyDeletea group of adults to respond to someone appearing in a campaign ad by
calling her a fatty in so many words."
I didn't know she did a campaign ad, but that explains a lot. Just like junior high school, she transgressed the laws of the Tribe, and must be made to suffer.
It was the one the wingers got their panties in a bunch about because it was aimed at college kids and it used double entendre about "your first time."
ReplyDeleteIf Vogue has finally acknowledged that more women look like Lena Dunham than Kate Moss, good for them.
ReplyDeleteThis whole flap seems straight off the schoolyard. Some girl doesn't fit into the boys' little world, so they're calling her ugly. Too bad Lena Dunham won't give one of them a swift kick in the shin. (It happened to me once.)
ReplyDeleteNah, you're overthinking things here. As D. Johnson pointed out above, the wingnuts hate her because she did a campaign ad for Obama, so whatever else she is, to them she's Not One Of Us, and thus fair game for any juvenile insults these arrested development cases can come up with. If she had done a Romney ad, she'd be hailed as the cutting edge of the New Conservative Outreach to 'Murkin yoots.
ReplyDeleteOr, "...Let me see that map again." (Punch line to a joke about the supposed indisposition of Jewish women to give blow jobs. Details on request.)
ReplyDelete"Vogue Fawns Over Lena Dunham,"
ReplyDeleteApparently, a magazine isn't supposed to treat the person they choose as their cover nicely. Is this what Toto is trying to say? They should have chosen her as their cover model and then made her look as bad as possible?
But I do appreciate hearing from typical Vogue subscribers like David Zincavage and Christian Toto; it's always good to hear from a magazine's regular readership, right?
Exactly. Satch beat me to it.
ReplyDelete"so imma ignore it and write about the wonders of nature"?"
ReplyDeleteWhich brings us back, by recircumnabulation, to Lena Dunham?
"One day I would like to live in a world where someone's degree of hotness was not a major political topic..."
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my world. Everybody agrees I'm the antidote for global warming.
I just assumed they were the girls next door.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Lena Dunham regrets the fact that she's not attractive to hot catches like da Tech Guy, Robert Stacy McCain and Ace of Spades..
ReplyDelete"You may mock, but Dan Quayle made his bones with the social conservatives"
ReplyDeleteBecause bone meal is good for "potatoes"?
What about Emma Peel? She could pick your pocket, then break your leg.
ReplyDeleteGlobal warming, no! Global hottening, si!
ReplyDeleteClose, but I think the Founding Fathers would have embraced a Second Amendment solution, and tax-deductibility for blasted flat-screens.
ReplyDelete"Details on request."
ReplyDeleteYou mean the joke that ends: "Feh! It tastes like poison, and the portions are so small"!
Did he forget he was wearing a hat when he put the headphones on?
ReplyDeleteArtist makes Renaissance fatties into modern skinnies.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music-arts/art-classical-nudes-photoshopped-skinnier-gallery-1.1021831
I'm loathe to ask, but does Gellar still do those videos? Those things were classic examples of the disconnect between what the creator thinks the audience feels and what the audience actually feels. Also they were handy when we ran out of ipecac.
ReplyDeleteThat's blogging for you. "This topic is completely unimportant and not worth a moment of my time, but I will say this...[insert 2500 words on unimportant topic]"
ReplyDeleteThen again, maybe that's by design. If these guys didn't have meaningless bullshit to distract them, we'd probably end up with hundreds and hundreds of awful self-insert fanfiction and unfilmable spec scripts. Perhaps blogs are but the runoff ditches of the internet.
I think that might create a singularity of petty bullshit, a black hole of thought where no intelligent discourse can escape.
ReplyDeleteThat was my first thought. My second was, "Has Zippy the Pinhead checked his closet lately?"
ReplyDeleteShe's needed.
ReplyDeleteA Jewish guy is walking along a beach and stumbles across a magic lantern. He rubs it and a genie appears. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me. I will grant you one wish." The guy thinks, then says, "I wish for peace in the Middle East, among Israel, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, and all its other neighbors. Here..."
ReplyDeleteHe takes a folded map of the Middle East out of his pocket and hands it to the genie, who looks at it and says, "Oh. These countries. Forget it. I have extraordinary powers but even I can't bring peace here." He hands the map back and says, "Pick some other wish."
"Well, then," the man says, "I want you should cause my wife to willingly give me a blow job every now and then."
The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."
AND make you like it.
ReplyDeleteHat?
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/WimpQ.jpg
ReplyDeleteHieronymus Bosch without the restraint
ReplyDeleteHeadphones?
ReplyDeleteThe worm-running theory of digestion-transferable RNA memories is out of date now, but it looks as if we have new experimental subjects to put it to the test.
ReplyDeleteI used to be annoyed with my liberal friends' tendencies to comment gratuitously on female celebrities' hotness, but then I spent some time with some conservatives and the appearance-based comments got about 10x more common (and immediate, as in: see woman, comment on size of nose or ass like it's a neurological reflex) and 10x meaner. And this includes fat-shaming and masculinity-policing of men as well as everything-policing of women. I really do feel sorry for their children.
ReplyDelete