(h/t Josh Marshall) Go, New York comrades -- avenge Stalin, Lenin, Billie Boggs, Larry Hogue, and me! I can't be with you, but after the victory's won and the city collapses I will visit and toast you all in crack and Champale.
UPDATE. The really crabby ones are going in for that you'll-all-be-sorry-someday bit. Daniel Greenfield:
And next time one of the innocent victims of Stop and Frisk is pounding your face into the sidewalk with one hand while digging through your pockets with the other, wave to the pair of beat cops sitting in the window of the coffee shop. And they'll wave back without getting up. Because you voted for this. And you're getting what you deserve...I think a bum sneezed on this guy once and he shit himself.
And that experimental art gallery, the one with collages of world leaders made out of broken glass as a statement against capitalism? It's a burnt out abandoned building again. The owner who used to want 10 million bucks for the building would give it to you in exchange for paying the tax bill.Hallelujah!
But you won't take it. You voted for De Blasio, but you're not that stupid. No one buys real estate in De Blasio time.The fuck they don't! That's when the pros buy. Buy cheap, sell dear. What kind of a capitalist are you?
Oh, Greenfield also predicts there'll be terrorist attacks because of di Blasio:
They say ten thousand people died. But a hundred thousand were affected by the gas pouring through the subway tunnels all the way down to Times Square. Some of them may die. A lot of them have scarred lungs...
The NYPD could have stopped them. It would have stopped them under Giuliani and Bloomberg. But the terrorists were smarter than you. They waited for De Blasio time...He closes with de Blasio voters trying to fly out of town but being blown out of the sky by Ay-rabs ("But you shouldn't complain. This is what you voted for..."). The whole thing demands to be read aloud in an Angry Masturbator voice.
UPDATE 2. Fire up the tumbrels!
Beatles reference for an electorate that barely knows the song, about an empire (and a war) that hasn't existed since their birth. Stay classy, and timely, Post.
ReplyDeleteIs "shaking dice with Larry Bird in Barcelona" a euphemism for something?
ReplyDeleteI Voted For Cheerful Floating deBlasio Head
ReplyDeleteCommie bashing never really goes out of style, does it?
ReplyDeleteCome now, you don't expect the right wing to come up with a whole new bogeyman, do you? They're not exactly over-supplied with creativity.
ReplyDeleteTheir typical reader is someone who hated the Beatles back then, and still does.
ReplyDelete~
I for one welccome our floating head overlord
ReplyDeleteAll power to the Soviets!!
ReplyDeleteI voted for Happy Fun Ball. (Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.)
ReplyDeleteI hear he was poker buddies with Alger Hiss!
ReplyDelete[Knock. Knock.]
ReplyDelete"It's the NKVD. We brought fresh bagels."
As long as he re-opens the grindhouses, I'll be happy.
ReplyDeleteWhen all you've got is a hammer, everything looks like a sickle.
ReplyDeleteEven so, I've been astounded at how 35 years have just vanished in wingnut rhetoric. Growing up in Utah, I got used to stuff like elementary school teachers using precious class time to rant at us about how horrible Jane Fonda was ("She's a member of the Communist Party and I will never allow my children to see her movies!") but this has been a whole weird psychotic break.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know how lucky you are.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he'll bring peep shows back to Times Square.
ReplyDeleteSome people are still fuming over the "more popular than Jesus" comment. No, seriously. My mom's pastor went off on a rant about this once.
ReplyDeleteWho cares? They're still going strong in Central Park.
ReplyDeleteHe's also been suspiciously silent on who he rooted for in Rock IV.
ReplyDeleteJesus, does it "report" that? And this is supposed to be bad? As a craps-playing Celtics fan who loves Catalonia probably more than anywhere I've been, all I can feel at the moment is a strong desire to move back to NYC and vote twice for BdB.
ReplyDeleteSo now we know what did in the USSR. Hammer-and-sickle-cell anemia.
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, so did my Mom's Rabbi.
ReplyDeleteOn behalf of embarrassable Torontonians, we'd be happy to take dB, or Calgary's Nenshi, in a straight trade. Hell, we'll throw in Doug Ford.
ReplyDeleteGinormous disembodied floating head, eh?
ReplyDeleteMichael Bérubé for mayor of NYC!
... or possibly Zardoz. I always get those two confused anyway.
I live three blocks too far north to be able to vote for DiBlasio. My one consolation is that I get to vote against County Exec Astorino.
ReplyDeleteHell, we'll throw in Doug Ford.
ReplyDeleteMake it "from twenty thousand feet," and we might have a deal.
Oh I do hope they bring back Red Diaper Babies. I love babies.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the NSA's motto?
ReplyDeleteI live three blocks too far north to be able to vote for DiBlasio.
ReplyDeleteAs if living in Yonkers would stop a real Democrat from voting in NYC. Why force ACORN to send another shuttle bus? You can get your free booze after you vote.
As of 12:04 PST:
ReplyDelete15,640.66+1.54 (0.01%)
FUCK! The Running Dogs are still Bullish. Needs more revolution Bill!
Best Zardoz remake evah!
ReplyDeleteAnd next time one of the innocent victims of Stop and Frisk is pounding your face into the sidewalk with one hand while digging through your pockets with the other,
ReplyDelete... remember that Stop and Frisk would have had fuck-all to do with stopping it. Especially since the innocent victim apparently isn't shooting you.
wave to the pair of beat cops sitting in the
window of the coffee shop.
'Cause now you know how a whole bunch of minority victims of crime feel all the time. Assuming there are any beat cops in sight to begin with.
The NYPD could have stopped them. It would have stopped them under Giuliani
Yeah, if only he had been mayor right before 9/11.
It's just too precious. "You voted for this." Right. Funny how, when all the bad shit happened on Bush's watch (worst terrorist attack in US history, worst economic collapse since the Great Depression, etc.), there was nobody screeching in the streets "YOU VOTED FOR THIS!!!11!1!"
ReplyDeleteOTOH, the science fiction of Greenfield's rant should e engraved on his forehead when DiBlasio leaves office.
And they'll wave back without getting up. Because you voted for this. And you're getting what you deserve...
ReplyDeleteI like the way that the cops in this mook's fantasy help wreak his imaginary revenge, recognising the voting record of victims of violence before deciding whether to do their jobs.
The dude's fantasy life is active and no doubt fulfilling .
This made me actually laugh out loud, and I'm deep in the depths of Influenza Hell right now (get your flu shots, folks). Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteDer Kommissar's in town, oh oh.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're at it, can I volunteer to have my local mayor, fraudster and Mafiosi-wannabe, the so corrupt he has to screw his pants on clockwise Joe Fontana for the "from 20K feet" deal?
ReplyDeleteOr union bashing. The Greenfield crap does a great job playing both sides against the middle: The mayor will tie the cops' hands so they can't help you! And because they're union, they'll let him! Okay, a great job if it wasn't bullshit.
ReplyDeleteI also love his offhand dismissal of rape prevention programs. Presumably because they might cast an eye on civilized men like Greenfield instead of targeting the threat of big black bucks hungry for delicate white flesh.
I don't have the skilz but I presume one of yooz can whip up a combo Hulk/Thing/diBlasio (bright red with rocks?) punching a Koch Brother right to the moon with the slogan "Its DiBLASIO TIME! scrawled below it?
ReplyDeleteYes, that last bit about Guiliani has given me quite the headache. Its right up there with "Bush and Cheney: They Kept Us Safe." Maybe the slogan of the Republican party isn't "Never Forget" but "What? What? Nothing Happened."
ReplyDeleteIt's in the "Champale" link.
ReplyDeleteSigh. Somehow I knew it was too good to be true. He hasn't even been elected, and he's already failed me.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I heard that liberal-guilting anthem "Have You Forgotten" the other day - made me think the venue where I heard it was either subersive-leftie or even stupider wingnut than it appeared.
ReplyDelete"And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout bin Laden...Have you forgotten?"
Has kind of a different cast to it now, doesn't it.
Oh, it was being screeched in the streets, all right. It just wasn't in the papers.
ReplyDeleteAfter every time, or just the last one?
ReplyDeleteThe dude's fantasy life is active and no doubt fulfilling .
ReplyDeleteHe writes for Front Page. "Active fantasy life" doesn't even begin to describe it.
And next time one of the innocent victims of Stop and Frisk is pounding your face into the sidewalk with one hand while digging through your pockets with the other
ReplyDeleteHow would "Stop and Frisk" possibly stop a guy from assaulting you with his bare hands?
Damn, now I am picturing Greenfield's upcoming novel, Love in the Time of DiBlasio.
ReplyDeleteWell, that was my point above, too, but now I think about it, stopping and frisking minorities to check if they have hands wouldn't be too far off the mark.
ReplyDeleteThe Beatles? I seem to recall their off-key caterwauling on the old Ed Sullivan show. How is old Ed?
ReplyDeleteThe nicest thing I can say about that "De Blasio Time" essay is that I guess it was cathartic to imagine his perceived enemies getting vaporized.
ReplyDelete+ was gonna say. If Stop and Frisk were so great, why is this guy free to be beating me up?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty excited to think that soon there will once again be culture in Manhattan and I can afford to live in the East Village and I will be flashed by hookers when I go out for a beer. Happy times are here again!
ReplyDeleteI hear the plans have already been drawn up for reopening CBGB and Studio 54.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but then you'll be turned to ash, so on the balance it might not be so great
ReplyDeleteI guess everybody needs a hobby.
ReplyDeleteHistory stopped in about 1960, if you're going by their claims that the GOP is really the party of civil rights for minorities
ReplyDeletewith notably rare exceptions...
ReplyDeletethe obvious answer is that minorities are pretty much all criminals and stop-and-frisk rightfully rounds them up and throws them in jail, duh.
ReplyDeleteAnd next time one of the innocent victims of Stop and Frisk is pounding your face into the sidewalk with one hand while digging through your pockets with the other, wave to the pair of beat cops sitting in the window of the coffee shop.
ReplyDeleteSo assault will be legal in BdB's NYC? That's awful! Man, if the people had only known he was planning to allow assault! He didn't even have the stones to openly state his pro-wilding platform. Feh to that.
They say ten thousand people died...The NYPD could have stopped them. It would have stopped them under Giuliani ...
Yeah, funny thing about counterfactuals, Dan — you aren't supposed to be able to disprove them with the deadliest attack on American soil and single biggest media event to ever happen, live on TV in front of an entire world.
I said both of these things, long after you. I apologize mds. Didn't mean to steal your bit.
ReplyDeleteBut the terrorists were smarter than you. They waited for De Blasio time...
ReplyDeleteGod, I love me some Ominous Ellipsis.
This bit reminds me of the wingnut puling after some election or another. Might have been Obama's win in '08 but I think it was the Senate "falling" to the Democrats in '06 - there were comments resigned to the physical destruction of our country, that suggested that The Terrorists had a big stable of nuclear weapons not just ready to go but with their motors already firing and the only thing that had held them back from destroying the U.S. was the collective steely glare from the manly Republicans and now it's all over.
Brings a tear to the eye, dunnit, how people of all faiths can be united in peevishness at egotistical musicians.
ReplyDeleteGood point, but I get confused because in Utah 1960 didn't happen until about 1978.
ReplyDeleteSo, in Greenfield's world cops get to abuse authority in anyway they see fit or they do nothing at all and Greenfield is not only okay with this but seems to relish it.
ReplyDeleteThese people are truly ate up with hatred and fear, ain't they?
And next time one of the innocent victims of Stop and Frisk is pounding your face into the sidewalk with one hand while digging through your pockets with the other,
ReplyDeleteIf the hypothetical attacker is "pounding your face into the sidewalk" with his hand, what good would Stop and Frisk do anyway. What would the cops have found during the search....um, hands?
Limelight!
ReplyDeleteBut a hundred thousand were affected by the gas pouring through the subway tunnels all the way down to Times Square
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess the gas must have hopped on the cross-town shuttle or the Flushing line, since it didn't continue on downtown. Is this guy even from New York?
But see? Lennon wouldn't have been shot if that commie gey Ed Koch hadn't been mayor then. Plus which Giuliani would never have let Yoko break up the Beatles.
ReplyDeleteI recall thinking at the time: he's probably right. Beatles were beloved in every country of the world, unlike Jesus who was mostly loved in christian countries. Why all the fuss? I wondered.
ReplyDeleteHere at Riddled Trebuchet Rental we may be able to help you both.
ReplyDeleteI think I saw his head in a jar on "Futurama".
ReplyDeleteBeware of parachutes. Bob Filner may be clearing the antenna on the CN Tower right now...
ReplyDeleteI got your Di Blasio time here!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.russian-watches.info/published/publicdata/FORSHOP/attachments/SC/products_pictures/icon9t.jpg
But only three years later an African mooslim just like the so-called president got on a plane wearing exploding underpants and attacked Detroit. Why can't you see the obvious connections?
ReplyDeleteYeah, its like they can't help themselves. With the crime and the economic development, at least he can make a case, but when it comes to terrorist attacks, it is pretty much undisputed that the worst one we ever had in this city is when the mayor, the governor and the president were all Republicans.
ReplyDeleteIt is as if Giuliani (even more than Bush and Cheney) has somehow now been credited with preventing the nine eleven attack. After months and years of sycophantic praise for doing nothing more than showing up and not running away (which did, in fairness, means that he had done better than Bush and Cheney), it is as if Rudy Giuliani saved or protected all of us from the terrorists. Um, the attack here in New York City succeeded. They brought down both towers. OK, one can argue, what could Giuliani do to stop it? Not much. I agree, but then how was his presence of any importance? And then how will his absence, and his replacement with a mayor from the other party, matter?
The truth is Rudy Giuliani did jack shit to prevent nine eleven, on the day of nine eleven, and in its aftermath. Shamelessly exploiting the attacks, he plopped himself in front of a battery of cameras and microphones and refused to budge. At one point, I think he was even reading changes to the bus schedules over the air, with the cameras running! Then, he made noises about subverting the democratic process, and the city charter (sound familiar?) and running for a third term or having his term extended. All because, what? A city that is three hundred years old or older couldn't survive without looking at his ugly, fascist mug every night? Yeah, we really frickin' needed more of that guy! How did we manage without him!
Funny too that a guy who had dropped his Senate campaign the year before, supposedly because he had cancer (the reality was that Hillary was kicking his ass in the polls, and he didn't want to get trounced), had the shamelessness to say that he was ready to be mayor for four more years!
And he has spent the last decade or more living off his alleged "nine eleven hero" status.
But, somehow, we're all gonna be sorry because we did not beg to have more of the same, from his number one henchman, this time around.
HA! I say, and HA! again!
ReplyDeletehttp://gizmodo.com/nycs-first-inflatable-tunnel-plug-will-stop-floods-sm-1458290295
PROFIT!
ReplyDeleteCheers, Roy.
ReplyDelete"Get your hands out of your pockets!"
ReplyDeleteYou know he was fapping the entire time.
ReplyDeleteIf Giuliani had been mayor, the NYPD would never have let 9/11 happen.
ReplyDelete35 years? The paleocons have been predicting that heavily armed urban blacks were going to be marauding across the countryside, raping and looting, for the past forty years. (In the slave states, they were predicting that in 1830.) They've been clutching their pistols and shotguns and axe handles for decades now, waiting and waiting and waiting for the chance to strike a blow for Real America.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing a Harvard-educated black guy winning an election is close enough to 'marauding' for them.
Those mysterious charges on the room-service receipt certainly make more sense now. As does the rash.
ReplyDeleteOh, cheer up. The guy they named it after is still pickled.
ReplyDeleteYou'll "remember riding your Citibike to a party past row after row of brand new restaurants and clubs"?
ReplyDeleteNot to be remembered fondly, of course. Even if de Blasio brings back Bad Old New York, *this* Greenfield aficionado knows that Citibike a Nazi-Muslim plot that reduced Manhattan to a burnt-out, rubble-strewn, shocked shell of a city.
http://gawker.com/citi-bike-is-a-nazi-muslim-plan-to-firebomb-new-york-ci-511489930
Pardon. I just meant it had been 35 years between times of hearing "commie!" hurled as an insult - with the expectation that that insult, that accusation, all by itself, would destroy the reputation of whoever was being called it.
ReplyDelete"September 2001. Is it De Blasio time yet?"
ReplyDelete"Well in a few months he'll take his seat on the city council."
"Close enough. Let's do some terrorism."
Ah, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI volunteer at a hospital, and they gave us all free (and mandatory) flu shots. Working so far.
A first time occurrence, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteThe reporters simply misunderstood Ron Nasty when he said they were bigger than Rod. Which was true. since Rod Steward wouldn't have a #1 for another 6 years.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't be the first time: here's Dana Perino from 2009 insisting that there "weren't any terrorist attacks" during Shrub's terms.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/25/perino-no-terrorist-attac_n_370393.html
Insert "How's your hammer hangin'" joke
ReplyDeletePretend DiBlasio Time > Actual Giuliani Time
ReplyDeleteshorter post: C'MON WE'RE DANCING AS FAST AS WE CAN HERE
ReplyDeleteGreenfield reminds me of Squealer from Animal Farm, who justifies Napoleon's tyranny by constantly repeating that nobody wants Snowball to come back, do they? A few blahs get their faces shoved into the sidewalk, well, he's all right, Jack.
ReplyDeleteI assume the counterfactual scenario where stop and frisk would still no prevent the beating - "Stop beating that man and get up against the wall."* Frisks gentleman that is engaged in the beating.* "Nope, no guns. Okay, proceed."
ReplyDeleteCops then return to the bagel shop and wave at the beater and beatee.
Right wingers are really big on the revenge fantasies. I bet they daydream all day long about their ex-girlfriends falling into an open manhole or something. [Which is a weird anti-Freudian image.] Country music did it better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JANcTGe2AXo
ReplyDeleteI used to have a Russian diver's watch, which was a huge hunk of metal to put on your wrist. It was pretty, but fairly crappy quality. It lasted a couple of years and quit ticking.
ReplyDeleteI hate the "time" schtick so fucking much. The fact that Louima was convinced to lie about about what the cops SAID is somehow worse than what the cops DID to him.
ReplyDeleteOh, no need to apologize. I'm as astonished as you are at how the right has forgotten any history that happened after 1963.
ReplyDelete