Tuesday, October 08, 2013


Ace of Spades 1 or, some chick did something:
...the sexual revolution was won about 30 years ago. But people with very low ambitions and fairly low intellects continue to do victory laps over it. They keep proclaiming they need to "free people from their restraint" in a culture awash in pornography, sex toys, divorce, affairs, etc. 
It's obviously a way to draw attention to oneself, dressing one's attention-whoring up as some sort of Nobel Crusade to set people free of Sexual Restraint. 
Who, exactly, in this year 2013 AD, is not sexually liberated, except for 70 year old ladies?
Ace of Spades 2....
I joke about reboot because this is very much a prequel, apparently taking place soon after Jack Ryan was recruited by the CIA. 
But... okay, in Hunt for Red October, he was plainly in the field for the first time. I think they stressed that a lot. I think he might have specifically said he'd never killed anyone before...
... or, the question answers itself.


  1. Three words: Play-Doh and bacon.

  2. PersonaAuGratin11:31 PM

    There's a Nobel Prize in Libertinism?

  3. .the sexual revolution was won about 30 years ago. But people with very low ambitions and fairly low intellects continue to do victory laps over it.

    He's just bitter because he's one of the dozen or so people who actually

  4. Haystack11:41 PM

    Here, let me put down this riveting techno-thriller....


  5. AGoodQuestion11:57 PM

    A "Nobel Crusade"? Spell-check's a bitch, ain't it?

  6. Spaghetti Lee12:06 AM

    Oh, totally. John Waters, Madonna, and Silvio Berlusconi are the committee chairs.

  7. JennOfArk12:21 AM

    I'm guessing the medal for that looks something like one of those cheesy zodiacs of sexual positions....

  8. J Neo Marvin12:26 AM

    You know he's born to lose, his punditry's for fools, but that's the way Ace likes it baby, he just wants to fap forever!

  9. J Neo Marvin12:32 AM

    Totally off topic, but Tom Tomorrow just posted this absolutely stunning specimen of dripping bothsidesdoitism from Joe Nocera at the New York Times.

    "A party controlled by its most extreme faction will ultimately be forced
    back to the center. The Democrats learned that when Walter Mondale was
    losing to Ronald Reagan, and Michael Dukakis to George H.W. Bush. Now it
    is the Republicans who don’t seem to understand that their extreme
    tactics are pleasing a small percentage of their countrymen but
    alienating everyone else."

    Walter Mondale, extreme leftist. I am speechless.

  10. Not to side with Ace on anything female genitalia-related, but there's not an atom of me that believes that Petra Collins was actually trying to empower anyone with that shirt. It's cheap shock art dressed up as feminism.

    Seriously, weren't we supposed to have outgrown this deliberately offensive nonsense back in the 90's? When did it come back, and why is it so much more tame now than it was then?

  11. TGuerrant1:18 AM

    Dildoes to the fore! Ace writes:

    "Who, exactly, in this year 2013 AD, is not sexually liberated, except for 70 year old ladies? Are we really determined to get them to rock a vibrator too? How much swings on this Goal?"

    In the awesome comments, Beagle rejects such a primitive notion:

    70 year olds were 20s in the 1960s. Also not likely overly repressed.

    From there on in, they mostly discuss cats. Not pussy, cats. I feel informed by that fact but will need to reflect more deeply over time before I can say just how.

  12. TGuerrant1:19 AM

    Slow down. I haven't gotten good with the ice cubes and rubber band yet.

  13. blobloblaw1:39 AM

    That man has a Pulitzer. A Pulitzer!


  14. coozledad2:49 AM

    The first Nobel for sexual restraints
    was for certain poor shepherds
    with dog-collared taints.

  15. Odder4:42 AM

    "Won" 30 years ago? Damn, I wish I'd been given the heads-up to quit the Long March earlier than this.

  16. Derelict6:16 AM

    The winners of the sexual revolution get to do victory laps. Losers like Ace get to do sad, pathetic faps.
    Just one more example of how the liberals that inhabit the conservative mind have absolutely no resemblance to any actual living beings.

  17. Jaime Oria6:23 AM

    And don't forget the Goldberg!!!

  18. Teresa7:29 AM

    Ace of Spades jumping into women's undies is a very very nasty thing any time of day, but with morning coffee the day takes on a ghoulish creepy cast.

  19. coozledad7:36 AM

    a culture awash in pornography, sex toys, divorce, affairs, etc
    Why does everybody have to keep kicking the south? Give us some credit for learning to wash the sex toys..

  20. chuckling7:41 AM

    Did she say somewhere she was trying to empower anybody? From what I read, sounds like here intent was more to offend repressed prudes so normal people could get a laugh at their expense. Apparently she had some fun with the mainstream media mannequins as well. Isn't that what being 20 is supposed to be about?

  21. coozledad7:53 AM

    Ace, I guess, is like that old Japanese soldier in the Philippines who didn't get news of the surrender until the 70's and only came out of the jungle to throw coconuts at people.because he was out of ammunition.

  22. mortimer20008:52 AM

    Ace tells a funny joke (I italicized the punch line):

    Like Miley Cyrus, this 20 year old has discovered Sex Is Awesome!!! and just wants us all to know that.

    Yeah Sugar-Tits we sort of know. We've been enjoying it for years, but without quite as much Noob Squeeing about it.

    Also, little known fact: The Nobel Crusade was the first time in the Middle Ages that Christians used dynamite. I think I learned this at a Breitbart site.

  23. satch9:07 AM

    I must say that I haven't yet gotten the ratio of dynamite to sex quite right...

  24. coozledad9:07 AM

    But plenty of nub squeezing.

  25. satch9:12 AM

    "Sugar Tits", huh? My, but I'm just ever so glad I have Ace to keep me up to date on that there Sexual Revolution thingy.

  26. reallyaimai9:18 AM

    This is too dadaist for me. Maybe once I've read the thread I'll get it. Is that you have to be really old to care about fictional character Jack Ryan? His author just died so there are lots of people who are having a round robin "least you can do" watch-a-thon. Or do you mean that bra burning is to hippies as renegade russian sub commanders are to anti-communist birchers? I can see that.

  27. reallyaimai9:20 AM

    Sugar Tits? If that isn't the triumph of Noob Squee I don't know what is. Unless he thinks its sexy to imitate fat, over the hill, mobsters.

  28. reallyaimai9:20 AM

    The losers do lap bands, I believe.

  29. reallyaimai9:21 AM

    And damn Georgia O'Keefe, too! Those flowers are, if anything, disempowering.

  30. coozledad9:33 AM

    I didn't find the shirt offensive As drawings go, it's not even bad. sort of like Franciszka Themerson.

    At first I thought it was a drawing of Ann Althouse mistaking her husbands face for a box of wine.

  31. Howlin Wolfe9:34 AM

    the winners get lap dances?

  32. Howlin Wolfe9:42 AM

    What's with Ace's randomly (it seems) capitalizing common nouns? Is he channeling a style from the 18th century? Is he being """"""ironic""""""?
    Is he a bad writer?

  33. tigrismus9:44 AM

    Yeah, it looks that way to me too: http://www.vice.com/read/chatting-with-petra-collins-about-her-menstruating-vagina-shirt

  34. reallyaimai9:45 AM

    Oh, its a not very good graphic of a menstruating vagina? With a woman's hand over it implying that she can pleasure herself whenver she wants without male help or interference? Hm. Is this the kind of sex that Ace of Spades has been having since his twenties?

    Interestingly enough there is a letter to Ann Lander's today (at Annie's Mailbox) about a woman who is considering dating an older man who "had a son by artificial insemination" and who has never been in any relationship with a woman and who thinks women are "dirty" because they menstruate. So this strikes me as rather timely, if somewhat uninteresting graphically.

  35. Ellis_Weiner10:41 AM

    So Noob Squee IS a character from one of the lesser Star Wars movies. I thought so.

  36. Ellis_Weiner10:42 AM

    Yes. The lap bands play the music for the laps that dance.

  37. "Who, exactly, in this year 2013 AD, is not sexually liberated, except for 70 year old ladies?"

    "What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke [sic], who goes before a congressional committee and says that she must be paid to have sex. What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception."


  38. dstatton11:40 AM

    They keep proclaiming they need to "free people from their restraint"

    How is that a victory lap? Oh, never mind.

  39. Mooser12:05 PM

    "Who, exactly, in this year 2013 AD, is not sexually liberated"

    Does "sexually liberated" consist of forgetting the relationship between sexual intercourse and pregnancy? Without ever really getting contraception straight? In that case, wow, are we liberated.

  40. bourbaki12:58 PM

    Let me guess this guy also only drinks grain alcohol and rainwater.

  41. ohsopolite1:53 PM

    This comment gives me hope that we are totally going to win the War on Christmas this year.

  42. merl13:15 PM

    The last Japanese soldier surrendered in the '70s because someone tracked down the officer who told him not to and the officer gave him permission to surrender. That dude was fucking hard core.

  43. realinterrobang3:32 PM

    Aren't these the same people who keep telling us that everyone has to be afraid of dying in a gutter all the time or going to Hell or however otherwise *restrained* lest they get *ideas* or something.

    Well, intellectual consistency has never been their strong suit. In fact, I'd guess they're blank in it.

  44. coozledad5:47 PM

    And he still had 200 rounds of ammunition and a rifle in good working order.
    He was an IJA intelligence officer. i wonder if our spooks are that fucking nuts.

  45. Matt Jones5:53 PM

    "Who, exactly, in this year 2013 AD, is not sexually liberated"

    The first rule of writing is "know your audience". Ace trips on it spectacularly here...

  46. BigHank536:13 PM

    I predict a colossal market for the lifelike silicone moldings of Noob Squee's naughty parts.

  47. BigHank536:17 PM

    Read up on Robert Hanssen, who was a shitload crazier.

  48. BigHank536:20 PM

    Given that he lacks Mel Gibson's looks, money, and acting ability, I'm inclined to think he'd have...issues....in attracting a mate. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure ol' Ace lives in the deep South, where being able to construct a complete sentence in English is a fair indication of superior genetic content.

  49. BigHank536:25 PM

    Ever since you got that god-damned dishwasher you've tried to run everything through it. Record albums. Harley-Davidson cylinder heads. The motherfucking dog.

  50. coozledad6:59 PM

    It figures he was a Young Republican in '68 and Opus Dei to boot. All of them traitors in their own snakeass way.

    I wonder how much the sheer ineptitude of Louis Frieh had to do with him skating so long.

  51. redoubt9:25 PM

    How do you say "Backpfeifengesicht" in redneck?

  52. smut clyde9:34 PM

    Did someone say "Bunny ears"?

  53. smut clyde9:35 PM

    I rate for Stefan Themerson.

  54. summeroflove4:00 AM

    Who hasn't been sexually liberated yet?

    Probably dudes who obsess about the continuity of two decades worth of Tom Clancy movies.

  55. reallyaimai7:24 AM

    Shirley you mean "with sugar tits on top"

  56. reallyaimai7:27 AM

    Truly touching moment in my life: my father takes my then 12 year old daughter to New York for a weekend of theater and museums and dance and the thing she picks to see is Judy Chicago's "The Dinner Party" which was on view in Brooklyn somewhere. She had apparently wanted to see it ever since reading something about it presumably when she was ten.

  57. reallyaimai7:27 AM

    Lapp Bands with Reindeer. The possibilities are endless.

  58. reallyaimai7:28 AM

    Don't say anything against J.J. Abrams. I'm not watching Fringe.

  59. reallyaimai7:29 AM

    My regards to your wife! I miss posting at Dwil but I seem to have overcome the addiction to lurking there so I haven't seen anything by/about her for a long time.

  60. witlesschum10:58 AM

    Why isn't Ace complaining about that dastardly blue state filth merchant who put filthy sex scenes in A Sum of All Fears (I was a big Clancy fan as a tween and teen, so I know these things)? Why was he taking sexual revolution victory laps rather than just being chill about the all times he's been to the playdoh and bacon spot?

    Could be IOKIYAR, could be that Ace can't actually make it through a Tom Clancy book and waits for the movie adaptations.*

    I'm assuming Hollywood cut out the whole subplot about Jack Ryan's erectile dysfunction. Who can tell if I'm kidding?

  61. probably, but not that dedicated i bet