Sunday, September 15, 2013
NEW VOICE COLUMN UP...
...on two subjects. First I follow-up on the Syria story, in which rightbloggers go from "Give peace a chance" to Obama weakling skree. The second is on that batshit crazy Michelle Obama water thing, for which I think I see another motivation besides general Obama hatred -- though I may be giving them too much credit.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Just reading Roy's summaries made my brain hurt.
ReplyDeleteThese people are the walking embodiment of Cleek's Law of Conservatism. only somewhat less coherent.
First Bloomberg tries to cut the Brethen's colas, and now Michelle's pushing Big Water's commie agenda!??!!
ReplyDeleteIMPEACH!
~
"Hate WAR! But THEN LOVE IT! Then hate.. wait, what, water?" If I was a conservative I'd ask for a better script. You know, one with plot, believable characters, the sense of fainting goats, or anything more solid than WATER WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER YOUR ASS!
ReplyDelete"a compulsion to tell other people how to live their lives.."
ReplyDeleteOf course, there are at least a half a dozen Republican failed presidential candidates who've made a cottage industry of this....I'm talking about you, Newt, among others.
I'm waiting for Michelle Obama's "Take A Deep Breath, America!" campaign, following which we will all learn that we should avoid oxygen because it causes rust and supports combustion.
ReplyDeleteCan someone please explain that comic to me? Michelle wants Americans to eat less so she gets more? Is there a secret hoard of soda pop, chicken, and watermelon in the basement of the White House?
ReplyDeleteWingnuts: Dihydrogen Monoxide kills!
ReplyDeleteThey only like the kind of water you can light on fire because of the fracking.
ReplyDelete1. Time magazine puts Putin on its US cover.
ReplyDelete2. ????
3. Bad news for Obama.
The underpants gnomes are strong with this one.
Ben Shapiro stopped running headlines like "WH HAS 'NO SMOKING GUN' LINKING ASSAD WITH CHEMICAL WEAPONS ATTACK" and started running headlines like "REPORT: ASSAD USES CHEMICAL WEAPONS IN DAMASCUS AGAIN."
ReplyDeleteShapiro starts every column with the assumption that no one read the last one, or if they have they've forgotten what he said. It's actually a pretty good bet.
It could very well be, the he himself doesn't know what he has written.
ReplyDeleteAnyway he always writes the same column, namely "Obama and liberals bad, m'kay?".
If they're going to badmouth water, they could at least borrow WC Fields' "Fish fuck in it" line.
ReplyDeletethat he himself
ReplyDeleteOnly evil liberals curse. That is because liberals are evil.
ReplyDeleteSubstitute grape soda for orange pop and you're gettin' the message.
ReplyDeleteGrape soda? I think you mean "purple drank."
ReplyDeleteI think Ace of Spades sometimes drops a cuss. Not well, mind you.
ReplyDeletefluoride reduces sperm motility and right wingers can't have sex without the possibility that the vile temptress could get pregnant
ReplyDeleteIt's not meant to amuse, or even inform, but rather to inflame, so there's really no explaining it, at least not in a way that makes sense to rational people - but rational people aren't the intended audience. Michelle wants to force Americans to eat more healthful foods (by making very mild suggestions), while she herself scarfs down platters of burgers. Except I'm pretty sure she doesn't; otherwise she wouldn't be so trim at age 50...but that's not the point. The point is, Michelle is a hypocrite, even if she isn't. Notice how they've drawn her to look "chunky" to underscore her imaginary gluttony. Also, big lips in case you missed the fact that she's unforgivably black.
ReplyDeleteYou're kidding, is she BLACK?
ReplyDeleteWar! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely....uh, wait,what week is it?
ReplyDeleteHmm. Their heads seem to be spinning nicely on Syria, so when do we start seeing the pea soup and the crucifix masturbation?
ReplyDeleteThe water thing, however, is just simple desperation, especially the concerned citizen that claimed the goody-two-shoes routine was a disease of progressive administrations. Does she not realize there haven't been any progressive administrations, if not forever, then certainly not for many decades, and second, does she not remember both St. Ronnie and Imelda Marcos' BFF endlessly haranguing the nation to "just say no?" Or George W. Bush's endless jogging and cycling, not to mention the press releases that went out and the fireworks set off every time he had his resting heart rate measured?
And just think--those people were still just as stupid when they left office as when they entered it (well, except for Reagan, who declined rapidly while in office from a real disease that he couldn't just say no to). At least proper mental function returns with rehydration.
Um, wow. You're softening on your Obama stance? Is it too much to ask that you see how this relates to some of the other criticisms? Or am I being too Obot-ish? Inquiring minds want to know.
ReplyDeleteThe big pile of hamburgers symbolizes fiscal profligacy and deficit spending by evoking J. Wellington Wimpy.
ReplyDeleteIt's a subtle point, I know, but there is middle ground between unqualified support for the president and reflexive demonization of the guy.
ReplyDeleteI believe the word Fields used was "fornicate". Too many syllables for the wingnut crowd, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteObama is avoiding war with Eastasia! Obama has always been dragging us into an unwanted war with Eastasia!
ReplyDeleteI do like the part of the narrative where Putin forced Time to put him on their cover and forced the NYT to print his Op-Ed by dint of his virile masculinity... therefore evidence of Obama weakness... rather than the editors in both cases deciding that it was profitable to accept Putin's photograph and the article he submitted.
ReplyDeleteNo, the editors were "forced" to put Putin on the cover the same way that conservative men will be "forced" into becoming gay if we let gay people get married and hold jobs.
ReplyDeleteYou know what spinach has got in it? Rubiscolins! That's nutritionist for brown heroin.
ReplyDeleteWhen your kids start loading the grocery cart with bags of the stuff, you'll know Michelle's got your babies on the blue bus.
I weep at the thought that the observation above is considered a "subtle point".
ReplyDeleteUp next - there's a subtle difference between lighting a fire in your fireplace because you want to warm up the place and lighting a fire on your living room floor because you want to warm up the place!
Really? Where?
ReplyDeleteUp your own goddamn ass, I know you're familiar with the territory
ReplyDeleteYou have to consider that everything Hudnall and Lash know about Black people they learned from "Undercover Brother".
ReplyDeleteWell, yes I am. Unlike those who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.
ReplyDeleteFor example, if you examine the history of George W. Bush and his fans, there was a long period where it was obvious that he was the worst president up to that point but was still defended vociferously by a hardy pack of dead enders. Republicans who were first to criticize Bush were viciously attacked by these dead enders. But as the evidence continued to mount and Bush started losing political battles, the dead enders came round, but they never did acknowledge how wrong they were or how right the people they attacked were. Roy has detailed it numerous times. You know, being right for the wrong reasons is worse than being wrong for the right reasons.
Same thing happening with many of those fooled by Obama. Not nearly to the same extent, but still sad, and a pretty solid indication that for many political partisans there is little intellectual difference between those on the right and on the left than there is an intellectual difference between a Cowboys and a Redskins fan. Just different packs of rhinoceros.
It's a subtle point, I know, but there is a middle ground between unqualified support for the president and reflexive demonization of the guy. Independence is a possibility, however theoretical for rhinos.
It's about the freedom to choose between aspartame and brominated ester of wood rosin, or water. LET THE FREE MARKET(tm) DECIDE!!!
ReplyDeletefluoride reduces sperm motility
ReplyDeleteTrust me, it's a moot point: after you fill up your urethra with toothpaste, intercourse is the last thing on your mind.
As all wingers know, rotten teeth is a sign of virility.
ReplyDeleteRoy's hit count from Germany just spiked.
ReplyDeleteI don't caaaaaaaaaare. Nothing you do is "independent", it's "pro-Chuckling", a series of feints and flourishes performed to aggrandize yourself to your own reflection.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't care, why do you keep coming out from under your bridge and yelling at me to get off Roy's lawn?
ReplyDeleteThough it's true, I do often perform feints and flourishes to aggrandize myself to my own reflection. Oh how I wish I could be like those sage and selfless blog commenters who only toil at their keyboards for the betterment of mankind. When I tire of the faux swordplay of self-agrandizement, I often retire to the computer and bask in the incandescent warmth of wisdom emanating from such morally superior beings and their beneficial typings.
Though to be honest, sometimes it's hard to square such obvious moral superiority with junior high schoolish handles like hinky jompirts, not to mention the pooh poohing of high crimes such as drones, wanton murder, secret courts, torture, police state spying on everybody all the time, sucking up to big finance, pharma, et. al. out of control, stupid mideast warmongering, etc. because free birth control or something, but I guess that's just more evidence that I'm doomed to always be skulking in the shadows of such blinding rays selfless wisdom and goodness, chuckling.
We will gladly refuse to raise the debt ceiling Tuesday...
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I don't really care how they got there -- although it would have been nice to not have heard "Munich" "Hitler" and "Chamberlain" again -- but it's actually pretty amazing to have gotten to a point where eliminating chemical weapon stockpiles without "humanitarian" bombing is the worst of all worlds.
ReplyDeleteCrucifix masturbation is an enduring feature of wingnuttia.
ReplyDeleteIt's a standard bit of wingnut Michelle Obama iconography. One time the White House served rather large hamburgers at some sort of function and the usual horde took this as proof that MIchelle Obama is a hypocrite, the Black Marie Antoinette. Although a lazy moocher, she apparently has time to plan and cook all of the meals for official state functions.
ReplyDeletePerhaps this is just the first round in a repug/conservative effort to convince Teh People that fresh water is unnecessary. After all, they're working hard to destroy our aquifers, lakes & rivers. Who needs water?
ReplyDeleteThere's a semi-iconic (well, among righties) photo of Michelle tucking into a cheeseburger with gusto, which goes to prove something something HYPOCRITE!!1!
ReplyDeleteLike all wingnut accusations of "hypocrisy", it boils down to "liberals are refusing to conform to our exaggerated caricature of them, therefore they are evil frauds".
So many prominent conservative figures make a cottage industry of telling other people how to live their lives - see Mr. Gingrich, Mr. Santorum. Not to mention the very right-blogger quoted in the story.
ReplyDeleteWait, is Dr. Hunky Jimjorps neither a Dr. nor hunky, or an authentic Jimjorps? I am shocked.
ReplyDeleteRightbloggers were for capitalism before they were against it.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as someone in this age range the fact that Michelle and Obama both are so, well, trim and gorgeous indicates a massive amount of self control and self denial, as well as good genes. This, of course, is something which they also hold against obama specifically, in contrast to Christie, say, who receives quite a large amount of wingnut adulation for giving the appearance of a wandering, gluttonous, man-baby who can not restrain any of his gargantuan apetites. They've always hated Obama for being thin, in a love match, and point de vice while for purposes of authentic american jingoism they love Rush Limbaugh a noted divorcee who smokes, drinks, and drugs to excess.
ReplyDeleteI particularly enjoyed her "pinkies out" eating style. She puts on airs, and it looks ridiculous coming from her!!!! if you know what I mean!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen did "I'm OK, You're OK" become a right wing motto?
ReplyDeleteAlso: its amazing how often Obama's accidental successes look like they might have taken careful pre-planning and negotiating skills. I wish I were so accidentally successful.
ReplyDeleteNaw - Shapiro's more like the organ grinder's monkey.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have forgotten the Great National Nightmare that revealed that Michelle occasionally eats Lobster or ribs in a restaurant. It was worse than the sequester and caused more financial and moral panic.
ReplyDeleteOr meth.
ReplyDeleteglennisw JennOfArk
ReplyDelete• 15 hours ago
You're kidding, is she BLACK?1
Quiet as its kept.
There was a relatively big spider in the water-heater closet last night, and I accidentally neglected to pour a gallon of gasoline over it and set it on fire. Whoops!
ReplyDeleteThe way they can't shut up about how much they love Jesus, you have to wonder.
ReplyDeleteNever. Their motto remains, "I'm OK, You're a Heretic/Foreigner/Brown/Gay/Poor and Should DIE!"
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing about his tenure at Breitbart.com; he gives the air of some kid playing at being "the man of the house" until Dad comes back.
ReplyDelete...and when did Dickus start auto-adding URLs? That's a little creepy.
ReplyDeleteTheir plan for energy independence: cars that can run on water (for a certain value of "water").
ReplyDeleteThen there's every time that the Obamas take a vacation, although the recent linking of some wingnuttery involving such on my Facebook feed gave me the excuse to cull a shirttail relative from my friends list.
ReplyDeleteBack in the '08 primaries, there was a cartoon illustration showing Obama drinking tea with his pinky in the air, contrasted with HRC pounding back shots. Kind of funny, considering how that turned out.
ReplyDeleteOh, hey, it's been a few days since anyone's fucked this chicken. Don't let down the side, people.
ReplyDeleteNeeds a "good god y'all", but otherwise spot-on.
ReplyDeleteMinted or non-minted? Asking for a friend.
ReplyDeleteOh, he's the anti-big-brother.
ReplyDeleteI had never made the Chris Christie/Baby Huey connection before...
ReplyDeleteGood point. But I'm getting the feeling, after the freak out over Brown-Miss-America, that they, like the rest of our countrymen, really would like to return to a world in which all of them, always, get a trophy just for showing up.
ReplyDeleteWell, its not really surprising. Totemic identification is like that: if we identify with the fat guy who is an abusive asshole then we like him for being an abusive asshole. If we don't we mercilessly ridicule and attack him for being a fat, gluttonous, pig, unable to control his own apetites. Since they don't identify with Obama none of his good deeds or good qualities impress them, and all of them stand in the place of that which they hate so they are forced to reject the qualities, good though they are theoretically, in order to reject the man.
ReplyDeleteIts kind of funny, really. I mean of course their sterotypes of Obama include both poles of the continuum from lazy trashy N guy to effete, ultra elite white professor liberal guy so they hate him for, literally, whatever synapses fired today when a shiny object passed before their eyes.
"high crimes such as drones... sucking up to big finance, pharma, et. al."
ReplyDeleteIt's gibberish like this which helps marginalize Obama's left critics.
Oh, it's a common wingnut belief that Michelle Obama is fat, believe it or not, more or less based on the fact that she's been seen to eat food and has a rump. It's such a commonly-held belief that they don't bother to even say it anymore, they just make inexplicable jokes based on it.
ReplyDeleteNot long after Obama was elected, the First Family went to Five Guys for a burger. That's when I remember it starting.
ReplyDeleteYou might also remember that being the occasion of "Mustardgate", when the third dumbest wingnut law professor on the Internet broke his biggest story yet.
Indeed. A little further toward the center, where I sit, I don't count stuff that isn't illegal as crimes.
ReplyDeleteDer ewige Jude Michelle
ReplyDeleteThat freakout was kind of weird. I don't pay much attention to the Miss America pageant but I could have sworn there've been a couple of African American Miss A's in the past. Or maybe it was about them thinking she was from the Middle East?
ReplyDeleteit's no accident that a lot of them subscribe to a notion of grace that absolves them utterly from any consistency.-intellectual, ideological, or spiritual.
ReplyDeleteWhat they wind up with is a creepy shamelessness. That's why it was easy for them to identify with Romney. And once you've sunk that far, you're likely to have wounded so many people around you that a realization of it would make the difference between a mean, shabby life, and one that's too poisoned to be worth pursuing at all.
Telling Chuckling that he has his head up his ass is like telling water it's wet.
ReplyDeleteYou know "creepy shamelessness" and "mean and shabby"seem to be just the perfect description of the Romneys and the Romney campaign and its supporters. Its not a description you see often enough. Kudos to you, coozledad, for putting your finger on the nub of the gist.
ReplyDeleteNo. He's not grateful. Never grateful. Aggrieved is his personal best.
ReplyDeletePutin "presumes to write op-eds in the New York Times, dictating the American president what he may or may not say in his speeches," claimed the Wall Street Journal's Bret Stephens. At FrontPageMag, Robert Spencer said Putin's Times op-ed was a "veiled threat" to Obama.
ReplyDeleteThis all seems to be an unnecessarily roundabout way of saying "paid advertisement".
Where have you gone, Vanessa Williams?
ReplyDeleteI don't care how it got done. You never know, not intervening, not distributing death and destruction to those we bomb and fat profits and promotions to those who profit from bombing might catch on. I know, it's crazy, completely loco, not intervening. But it might catch on, you never know.
ReplyDeleteYes, drone strikes on civilians and failure to go after the architects of the 2008 crash are marginal issues.
ReplyDeleteChuckling, I felt much as you did. Up until very recently, as a matter of fact. I was (I blush to admit) calling Obama a "chump", I said, repeatedly "he would be left holding the bag" and at one point even posited Obama wished to be a "scapegoat" for the Bush crimes.
ReplyDeleteBut now it looks like Obama may not intervene or attack Syria. Even tho all the factors, the cooked-up evidence, the poor shape of the military, the lack of money, plans, or any idea of what the results might be, point in the direction of attacking Syria, he may not!
ya gotta love him for it. Sure, solving a crisis in a small country by diplomacy is a crazy idea, but it just might work.
Wild lettuce, too. "Lettuce opium" was used as a substitute when wars disturbed supplies of real opium.
ReplyDelete"Drones" and "drone strikes on civilians" aren't the same thing. Which seems more compelling to you: "Obama is using drones" or "Obama is killing civilians"? I know which one I think is more compelling, and it's not the one I hear from Obama's leftish critics.
ReplyDeleteThere's also a big, exciting gap between "marginal issue" and "high crime". Personally, I think there's a lot of ways that the President can disappoint me or anger me that don't rise to the level of an impeachable offense.
They probably eat arugula too, like that traitorous bastard John Kerry...or was it Gore, Clinton, Dukakis, Carter...
ReplyDeleteGood point. Ever since I read Shame, I have recognized the twin evils of excessive shame for no good reason and shamelessness as the major underlying symptoms and causes of our national decline. We (not us, here on this thread, but as a nation collectively) heap shame upon people for accidents of birth, poverty, failing to become educated in our crumbling educational system, etc. Meanwhile, the truly shameless - the billionaires who work ceaselessly to get out of paying any taxes at all, the Wall Street bankers who get rich from theft, the politicians who trade away the rights of their constituents for campaign cash and cushy lobbying gigs - are publicly lauded.
ReplyDeleteIt's more corrosive to public trust and any semblance of justice than the strongest acid. And it's getting worse, not better.
So civilians aren't being killed? Just want to clear that up. Whether it's with drones or manned airstrikes isn't the issue.
ReplyDeleteAlso: Haven't really heard Obama's leftish critics calling for impeachment. Most of us are just pissed that he's no better than he absolutely has to be.
If civilians are being killed (they are), maybe say "civilians are being killed" rather than "drones". chuckling listed "drones" as if that was an issue in itself.
ReplyDelete"High crimes" is part of the constitutional formula for impeachment. Probably not a great idea to use it unless you think an actual crime has been committed worthy of impeachment.
Seriously, I am not a defender of America's assassination program. I am just frustrated that legitimate critiques of the security state are drowned out by fearmongering about drones and a myopic fixation on Obama.
Maybe you should concentrate on the assassination program and the legitimate critiques of the security state, since they're significant, and pay less attention to chuckiing, who isn't.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you're expending so much effort defending someone so insignificant from someone else insignificant who doesn't even disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteIf right-wingers believe that Michelle Obama is trying to kill them with her "water intoxication" campaign, they should defend themselves by doubling their sodium intake.
ReplyDeleteTheir odium intake is sufficiently high.
The really weird thing about the freakout is that it makes a mockery of Al Franken's "Strom Thurmond" joke: "The pecker knows no bigotry!"
ReplyDeleteApparently, the pecker knows bigotry now, unless the wingnuts are furiously hate-fapping after sending their racist tweets.
The shaming of the common man is inherent in the American Dream.
ReplyDeleteNot being an historian, I can't say when the American Dream entered the marketplace (although I would warrant sometime around the Gilded Age--certainly the Colonials didn't feel that way), but the propaganda that "anyone can make it here" has got to be one of the single most effective crowd-control slogans ever invented.
It is a bald-faced lie at its very core, yet it still has tremendous power to hypnotize the masses into selling their souls to the powerful for one more chance at a Golden Ticket.
Implicit in the notion that "anyone" can make it is the assertion that those who don't "make it" (which is universally interpreted as power over others or enough money to fuck off the rest of your life) are scoundrels, wastrels, and general losers--possibly even anti-American and dangerous.
We know, in fact, that in America not only is it obviously false that just anyone make it, only a very small percentage of a small percentage have "made it," and most of those handful were born with it. The only yahoos who can sincerely believe this bullshit are probably those who also believe lottery tickets are a sensible investment. And, yet, nearly all Americans still judge everyone by the standards of those who claw their way to the top. There is no respect for those who can't, or don't want to, play the game.
It seems that the conflict between what Americans want to believe and stone-cold reality is generating intense anxiety, which is being harnessed by those in power to gain even more control over others. They are able to do this because those who went "all in" on the scheme are trapped in the gambler's cycle of thinking they will lose their "investment" if they don't keep playing.
Also, despite an empty pretense at loving the Salt of the Earth, Americans have no respect whatsoever for the common man. According to the American Dream, anyone can make it, so if you are common--you suck. You are a deadbeat in America; you know it; everyone else knows it. You are not part of the team, and you are expendable.
(I believe part of the bizarre rightwing outrage at hippies, greenies, environmentalists, etc.,-- is a sort of horror at folks with potential to rise to power and fame who "betray" their privilege by trying to live like "peasants.")
Those at the top love this shit--they must laugh their asses off that a single slogan invented by their evil great-grandfathers is still a useful carrot on a stick to get the peasants to volunteer as slaves (without much beating, either, like in the old days).
I think I am losing my sense of humor. (If anyone see it, please tell it I miss it and to call home.)
Mold ripened cheese is chock full of casomorphins. Your opiate receptors like it a long time before you do.
ReplyDeleteHey, neither does the DoJ.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of electrolytes, they might want to cut down on the bromides.
ReplyDeleteI had never made the Chris Christie/Baby Huey connection before...
ReplyDeleteNah, Baby Huey was always a pleasant tyke, not a vicious tantrum-throwing bullying monster. Unless you're thinking of the version with a goatee.
From trouble, pal, you don't even know, already. I've got a clogged drain line between the washer and the grey-water drain. When the washer empties the water shoots up out of the sink drain!! For a few horrible moment I thought I was in another, more horrible TV show, instead of the usual "I Love Moosie"
ReplyDeleteDo you have a bone of your own?
ReplyDeleteI got a deep shameful secret to reveal: I'm one of those weird illborn monsters who actually like spinach,
ReplyDeleteIt's good stuff. Even better with Romano, butter and pasta.
ReplyDeleteI grew up trying to avoid collards and turnip greens. They're actually pretty good if they're stir-fried.
Click HERE to read why The Bible Belt is the FATTEST and most SINFUL
ReplyDeleteGluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins.
Philippians 3:19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
Proverbs 23:20-21 Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.
Proverbs 23:2 And put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite,