Sunday, July 07, 2013

NEW VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about the miserable time rightbloggers had on the Fourth of July. With Obama destroying freedom and all, their hot dogs tasted of wormwood. Well, there's always the next Chick-fil-A event.

Among the outtakes was an "In-De-Pants Day" special offered by some guy on his cartoon book OBAMA SUTRA - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy! which he says is "perfect for leaving out on your coffee table, or slipping into the bookcase of your least favorite liberal." You've missed the special, alas, but the book's cheap and the author has samples at his website. This is our favorite:


It's a little young for the Alan Scherstuhl treatment but I hope he'll put it in his to-do file.

158 comments:

  1. I am sorry to ask but someone please explain the fire extinguisher to me.

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  2. Mark B.8:32 PM

    That's a strange-looking package on that sheep. Or I guess it would be a ram.

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  3. Mark B.8:32 PM

    I think it's a conservative attempt at generating a WTF, and it does, but not the kind of WTF they are looking for.

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  4. Mark B.8:40 PM

    BTW, Roy, the VV link goes to page 2 of the story. Although this is one of those stories that makes just as much sense when you start in the middle as when you start at the beginning.

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  5. Jeffrey_Kramer8:56 PM

    "Why should Americans, whose military and moral strength and resolve
    salvaged and saved the post-World War II world from easy communist
    takeover, have to mutter at uneasy social gatherings whether or not
    we're being led into the same communism we saved the world from
    beginning in 1945?" asked Farber.



    Because they're are all over ninety years old?

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  6. Gromet9:02 PM

    At last, Uncle Clyde's gonna even the score for all those liberal books I've slipped into his bookcase over the years -- Catch-22, Gravity's Rainbow, Light in August, White Noise, the Satanic Bible, and all that Steinbeck.

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  7. Jeffrey_Kramer9:10 PM

    "Today we have a government that alone decides how much wealth we can retain."

    Whereas, under Reagan, marginal tax rates were set by natural law rather than by government legislation.

    This is one example of right-wing irrationality which always gets to me. Again and again there's the implicit assumption -- never stated, never defended -- that a top rate of 35% is capitalism and freedom, a top rate of 39% is socialism and dictatorship. So under Eisenhower, when it was up over 90%, we were actually all working the Khmer Rouge killing fields and never even noticed. Why didn't John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart do something about it?

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  8. Spaghetti Lee9:12 PM

    Or, for that matter, the 50% top income tax rate under Reagan for the first six years of his term. Doesn't get mentioned much.

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  9. Shouldn't sentences make, ya know, sense? Once again, Obama as a Communist... I can't contain my laughter. Have these people ever MET someone to the left of the DLC?

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  10. Derelict9:15 PM

    All of Roy's roundup is yet one more excellent illustration of how conservative values (and policies) are all firmly grounded in ignorance, and decorated extensively with fear.

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  11. edroso9:17 PM

    Whuh-oops. Thanks for the heads-up, have fixed.

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  12. Spaghetti Lee9:17 PM

    "Hm, time for some light reading. The Handmaid's Tale? Animal Farm? Or maybe I should-what? What's this? The Obama Sutra?! Gah, my collection is RUINED! Curse you, Conservative Book Swap Bandit!"

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  13. Weird Dave9:19 PM

    I don't remember a fire extinguisher in Woody Allan's Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex

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  14. It's the best weapon against spiders, acording to Shatner, If you have to fight a whole kingdom 'of em.

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  15. montag29:21 PM

    While the by-now-hardly-unusual whining about Obama being a Communist Muslim Terraist is not at all surprising, it occurs to me that this repeated onslaught against yet another center-right Democrat is probably going to make a genuine left-of-center candidacy impossible for a long time. That this also pushes the media narrative ever rightward, too, goes without saying.

    That aside, the WSJ burbling about the very benificent Augusto Pinochet simply cannot stand without comment. There's so much wrong with that, it hardly bears consideration, except to say that ever since 1973, the capitalists have been trying--mostly unsucessfully--to rewrite the history of Chile.

    The "transition to democracy" part is, of course, the most egregrious and the biggest distortion. Allende was elected by popular vote, even though it was close, while Pinochet abrogated Chilean democracy by means of military coup. More importantly, Chile had some form of democracy (although with long periods of autocratic presidents and a parliament focused on the needs of the wealthy) since its independence from Spain
    in 1810.

    Not to mention that the free-marketeer Chicago boys surrounding Pinochet essentially did what the Chicago boys do--larded up the government with debt, diverted government funds to their own commercial interests, privatized the public pension system for their own enrichment, which ended up impoverishing it, and generally wrecked the country. The Chicago Boys did, however, achieve their true goal--making themselves and the rich much, much richer. That it was done via torture and political imprisonment only makes its utility as an economic model ever more suspect.

    As wigged out as most of the wingnut commentariat seems most of the time--One Citizen Speaking and Dave Hodges being sterling examples of the breed--they've got nothing on the WSJ editorial board. That bunch is stone-cold barking mad.

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  16. Well, that's 'cause you didn't wanna know.... ahhhhh...

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  17. montag29:24 PM

    All enabled by an undergirding foundation of mental illness.

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  18. montag29:28 PM

    Hardly worth noting that all of the examples given--Reagan, Wayne and Stewart--were actors.



    I guess this means that Hollywood wasn't Hollyweird until John Wayne croaked.

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  19. Gromet9:30 PM

    Also worth noting: Pretty sure we did that post-war saving via recorded history's biggest stimulus package. Not rivaled, as far as I know, till Obama's stimulus package in 2009, which was about the same size as a percent of GDP but had the benefit of being all spent domestically, not mailed away to a bunch of Nazi collaborators in France and actual Nazis in West Germany. You'd think anyone who could see the wisdom of propping up people we'd just beat in a war would would also see the wisdom of propping up the US, but as I recall, muttering wingnuts did not have a lot of nice things to say about Obama in 2009. Oh, and also worth noting? The Marshall Plan that saved the world from Communist takeover was also the first step toward creating the EU, which I'll bet is no wingnut's idea of how the world should look. Other moving parts in the whole "save the world" machine included founding the UN, and the policy of containment of enemies -- even enemies with thousands of nukes -- instead of invading everyone and going into a rage blackout at the very idea that some sad backwater like Iran might build a bomb. But look at me, so silly, expecting people to consider facts and be consistent.

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  20. No see, Reagan went on to become the paragon of wormheartedness. Stewart was a warhero (really, and a good guy as far as I know) and Wayne was an absolute shithead, Pardner.

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  21. Matt Jones10:47 PM

    Dunno, but I'm going to assume the author of that cartoon does enough sheep-fucking to know what he's talking about. ;)

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  22. Jay B.10:48 PM

    You have to knock the sheep out with something.

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  23. hellslittlestangel10:51 PM

    With all those references to Obama the African Dictator, I'm a little disappointed that there's no cannibalism-innuendo. I mean, barbeques? Is the right -wing getting lazy or what?

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  24. AGoodQuestion11:01 PM

    I don't think the creator of the Obama Sutra has ever read the Kama Sutra. Nor do I see any point in him doing so.

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  25. BigHank5311:25 PM

    I checked with all of my friends, and some people that aren't really friends, and a couple guys that I don't even want to know what town they live in, and none of 'em have ever fucked a sheep so vigorously it caught fire.


    So I'm guessing our wingnut cartoonist knows as much about sex as he does about politics.

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  26. Jay B.11:27 PM

    I'm glad they have a book like the Obama Sutra, so they can finally learn to go fuck themselves.

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  27. AlanInSF11:38 PM

    Darn it, those conservatives know how to get our goat! I am steamed!

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  28. redoubt12:24 AM

    It's like American conservatives have a vendetta against the modern world.


    Yes. Beginning with "democracy", which they've always hated.

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  29. Halloween_Jack12:28 AM

    When I worked at a public library, we'd get wannabe cartoonists dropping "humor" books like this off at our branch, then coming back a week or so later expecting that it would actually be on the shelf. Man, the look on their faces... good times.

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  30. eponym12:30 AM

    Never get off the boat.

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  31. AGoodQuestion12:44 AM

    Bongino said whenever he gets a chance to talk to a liberal, he asks them, "Where has freedom failed you? You may have failed freedom, but where has freedom failed you?"


    As to what Bongino says when he gets a second chance to the same liberal, well, that situation hasn't arisen yet.

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  32. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume12:48 AM

    I don't get that cartoon. Was the sheep on fire and he put it out? Did the sheep explode, and make a sound like "Sisssssss, boom, bah"?

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  33. AGoodQuestion12:53 AM

    Movie stars are always drawn to manicures, French wines and adultery, regardless of their political stripe. Some just get a pass on the hole Hollyweird thing.

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  34. redoubt12:55 AM

    So I'm guessing our wingnut cartoonist knows as much about sex as he does about politics.

    "Graduate" of the Chris Muir School of Clip' N' RipArt

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  35. JennOfArk1:26 AM

    "Where has freedom failed you?..."
    is almost
    "Show me on the doll where freedom touched you."

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  36. JennOfArk1:27 AM

    Paging Mickey Kaus...Mickey Kaus to the white courtesy phone...

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  37. BadExampleMan1:28 AM

    Who are these people? The salt of the earth. The common clay of the west. Etc.


    (I see your Seinfeldian and raise a Brooksian.)

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  38. Eohippus1:50 AM

    An open letter to this Bongino person, whoever they may be: "Where has freedom failed me" fuckface? It doesn't have to fail me, personally, for me to know freedom has failed when we jail a larger percentage of our population than every fucking country on the planet, you miserable shitheel. Freedom fails me when CEOs get bonuses larger than any teacher will ever make in a lifetime. Freedom fails me every time one of my fellow Americans goes bankrupt trying to pay their medical bills; freedom fails me every time Antonin Scalia draws a breath; freedom fails me every time a Republican gets an erection thinking about ways to punish sluts who like sex. Ask me that question to my face, cocksucker; I'd love to answer.

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  39. Tehanu1:54 AM

    Conservatives don't "learn" anything. They already know everything, after all.

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  40. Eohippus2:01 AM

    Roger L. Simon wins this week's "It's Always Projection With These Guys" trophy with a perfectly executed "liberals will find themselves in the role of the Islamists, defending a
    shopworn and reactionary ideology on religious grounds, because it is
    only their faith that holds their ideas together at this point."

    Please tell me more about my shopworn and reactionary ideology, Roger, then you can propose some more tax cuts, deregulation and onerous abortion laws.

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  41. Halloween_Jack7:30 AM

    It's the sort of random thing that someone who's more vanilla than vanilla throws into a "kinky" scene to signify "really kinky." He'd have put in something from the produce aisle, as well, but it doesn't work as well with his inexplicable "silhouette" style of clip-art mongering.

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  42. you mean - get our sheep! [PUTS ON SUNGLASSES]

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  43. Jeffrey_Kramer8:16 AM

    Of course if you catch him trying to sneak into your house to deposit the sequel, you are perfectly entitled (both legally and morally) to blow him away.

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  44. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard9:13 AM

    I don't even want to consider the possibility that he's spawned.

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  45. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard9:18 AM

    Your making the assumption that he's vanilla. Now, now, you know most conservatives are "2 wetsuits" kinky.

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  46. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard9:19 AM

    You really need to contact Neal Horsley, I'll bet he's burned more than one ewe.

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  47. tigrismus9:22 AM

    Cartoon book and TWO cartoon websites, one "wildly popular" and one "darkly hilarious," if he does say so himself. Check them out, they are just as good as the Sutra sample would lead you to expect!

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  48. "liberals will find themselves in the role of the Islamists, defending a
    shopworn and reactionary ideology on religious grounds, because it is
    only their faith that holds their ideas together at this point."

    So ... Franklin Graham is a liberal now? Stupid Overton Window.

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  49. I am gonna take yer word for it, tigrismus. (IF that is your real name!)
    ~

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  50. tigrismus9:33 AM

    It's my real pitcher, too!

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  51. Bongino's "where has freedom failed you?" bit would certainly leave me speechless and staring quizzically at the speaker, mouth agape, wondering what the fuck he's talking about.

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  52. Mark B.9:45 AM

    I really like 'wormhearted' as an adjective. I think it's a pretty good description of Reagan's demeanor.

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  53. satch9:49 AM

    "And it's all King FDR V-VI's fault, explained Farber: "Never, ever have
    we witnessed a more arrogant, less competent, more leftward-lunging and,
    if you know history, more frightening administration."

    After "WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!", the wingnuts second favorite bleat (nudge, nudge) is "READ YOUR HISTORY!!" Professor Newt Gingrich was just warming up with his alt-history Civil War trilogy... the fourth installment is when the Confederate States of America invades the U.S. to overthrow the Kenyan Usurper and give us back our FREEDOM!!

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  54. Ovine, caprine, they're all the same to me.

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  55. Yes, the ooga-booga is somewhat lacking here. Very disappointing.

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  56. Every aspiring petty monarch should live in a Castle Doctrine state.

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  57. Halloween_Jack10:07 AM

    I never really got that. Why two wetsuits? More restrictive?

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  58. I'll see your 2 wetsuits and raise you an enema and a gas mask.

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  59. "David P. Goldman was inspired by the anti-American signs at Tahrir Square: "Why can't we get 14 million people into the streets to proclaim that Obama is an idiot like the Egyptians did?" he wrote."

    I was wondering when these knobs would get around to claiming inspiration from Tahrir Square. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at the Olde Conservatives Reste Home when a guy in a tricorn hat carrying a Gadsden Flag sticks his head in the door of the day room and says "We're going down to the National Mall to take our country back! David... Barry... John... you coming?"

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  60. Yes, yes, I've already used this one recently, but:

    FARBER: Apes don't read history!

    NON-DUMBSHITS EVERYWHERE: Yes they do, Barry. They just don't understand it.

    I mean, I certainly have my own beefs with the Obama administration, but "more arrogant, less competent?" Maybe you should put down your history books from 1967 and bring yourself up to speed on 2001-2008, Barry. "More leftward-lunging"? If I may quote atheist from our own commentariat, "Oh, if only." Or perhaps your subtle-turn of phrase is meant to illustrate that there have been a couple of ways in which President Obama has managed to pull us back from the brink of reactionary theocratic fascism by "leftward-lunging" a little closer to the sane centrist region of the spectrum. "More frightening"? Well, he is black, so I'll have to give you that one, Barry.

    Anyway, for next time, Barry, since you're such a history maven, I'd like a two-thousand-word essay on the Franklin Pierce administration ... and try not to write it with smeared feces for a change, 'm'kay?

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  61. sharculese10:40 AM

    He put a book on my shelf and I didn't even know the book was there!

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  62. reallyaimai10:49 AM

    In response to got on a previous thread: possibly as a result of my bad deeds in a previous life or my clear intention to do worse in the next one I not only can't see or access alicublog comments on my home computer but trying to post on disqus on my iPhone frequently results in the comments crashing. It's why I've been forced to be a spectator and lurker these days rather than a participant here. It's now system wide, for me, and I can't even see disqus comments on other sites. It's almost like being a ghost or a non person in a really full short story. But I mourn my loss of collegial snarling here at alicublog.

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  63. Mr. Wonderful11:06 AM

    We heard that!

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  64. Eohippus11:13 AM

    B..b..but isn't this a "public" library? Your liberal fascism is trampling my right to self-publish!

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  65. Mr. Wonderful11:15 AM

    Oh piffle. Just make something up. Just be sure it's delivered, not with mockery or are-you-nuts disbelief, but with as much gravity and self-righteousness as he uses when he puts the question:

    BONGINO: Where has freedom failed you?
    YOU: Freedom has not failed me, sir. It is you who have failed me. You have displayed a callous disregard for the bedrock Flintstone values our Foundering Fathers died and then bled for at Lexington, Madison, Park, and First Avenue. It is you and your ilk, sir, who have failed me and my ilk. When fascism comes, it will be dressed in the remnants and factory irregulars of summer samba soldiers and fair-weather fans exactly like you. That is what has failed me. Now go forth and sin no more.

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  66. Eohippus11:17 AM

    I would like to share a room, a sheep and a fire extinguisher with this comment.

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  67. Jimcima11:33 AM

    Steward was a lifelong conservative and a huge supporter of Reagan. He supported McCarthy and endorsed Goldwater after he voted against the Civil Rights Act:

    http://hollowverse.com/james-stewart/

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  68. Halloween_Jack11:33 AM

    Well, the arguments that self-publishers would use (not just for cartoon books, but self-published books of all kinds) is that they'd paid taxes (theoretically) and therefore we had to shelve their book, if not promote it; that it was a neighborhood branch and they were from the neighborhood; or that it was actually the law that we had to have a copy of their book (the latter, I suspected, was confusing our branch with the Library of Congress).


    In fact, I was usually kind of flattered that they held the public library in such regard that they really wanted us to have their book, and made sure to tell them that, but that also we had limited shelf space, etc. In one particular case, after flipping through the book, I told them bluntly that we couldn't support plagiarism, since they'd stolen gags from The Far Side and National Lampoon's "Buy this magazine or we'll shoot this dog" cover. (Yes, they actually ripped that off, and the would-be cartoonist had the stones to insist that they had no idea that someone had already done the gag.)

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  69. XeckyGilchrist11:44 AM

    I bet it'd work well enough just to ask him to define "freedom."

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  70. Jeffrey_Kramer11:57 AM

    I would like to frolic with two wet suits, a dildo and this comment.

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  71. Jimcima11:57 AM

    An "easy" communist takeover? Why is that exactly?



    It's remarkable how fragile their capitalism is...just the barest whiff of socialism causes it to faint dead away, even with the invisible hand of economic certainty guiding it inexorably to certain victory.



    These people think about nothing.

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  72. Scott Lemieux12:00 PM

    OK, 57 states, good. But nothing about how he can't fuck without a teleprompter? I refuse to buy the book if he's going to hide the good parts like that.

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  73. I not only can't see or access alicublog comments on my home computer


    As a genuine computer support professional, I think I see the problem: That's your toaster oven.

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  74. Mr. Wonderful12:32 PM

    Because three is impractical.

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  75. XeckyGilchrist12:36 PM

    Oh, it's not so bad if he deposits the sequel, so long as he doesn't do it on the carpet.

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  76. KatWillow12:43 PM

    Why people liked him I cannot figure. He looked like a shriveled raisin, his voice: ug! Always sounded like a D list actor reading his lines very badly.

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  77. "So under Eisenhower, when it was up over 90%, we were actually all
    working the Khmer Rouge killing fields and never even noticed."


    Joe McCarthy TRIED to warn us, but would we listen....

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  78. KatWillow1:00 PM

    Puzzled me too. Its really difficult to get a wet-suit on (or maybe I'm unique). Two?

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  79. montag21:10 PM

    Ol' Rog does have this, ah, tendency to fabulation, doesn't he? After all, he writes story outlines for Hollywood. Maybe after all this time, he's having trouble finding the line between fiction and non-fiction.


    Or (and this is my preferred explanation), he's just a partisan, doltish courtier to the aristocracy, for whom word-salad will do when he's just not up to the effort of thinking, which is much of the time these days.

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  80. Always sounded like a D list actor reading his lines very badly.


    What an amazing coincidence.

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  81. mgmonklewis1:26 PM

    I don't get that "comic." I mean, I get the herp-derp right-wing attempt at humor, but it's just so weird. What's the vaguely Aubrey Beardsley art nouveau look got to do with anything?

    (Also, Art Nouveau saw what that cartoonist did, and it's pissed. You don't want to be around when all those sinuous lines ambulate and seek revenge. The Paris Métro signage packs quite a wallop.)

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  82. mgmonklewis1:33 PM

    Oh, ewe! [rimshot]

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  83. TribalistMeathead2:50 PM

    I'm going to guess it's there because of the fire-extinguisher-enema bit from Bruno. While I wouldn't be surprised to learn the cartoonist learned everything he knows about gay sex from Bruno, I find it hard to believe that someone besides me, my friend Alex, and the rest of the people in that theater have seen Bruno.

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  84. witlesschum3:20 PM

    But not a chickenhawk, at least, like Wayne and Reagan. People who've actually fought it wars are perfectly capable of mongering them, but it changes how I feel about them from contempt to more respectful disagreement.

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  85. ADHDJ3:46 PM

    "Egyptians would be lucky if their new ruling generals turn out to be in the mold of Chile's Augusto Pinochet"

    WTF? The old generals were already in the mold of Pinochet! Mubarak, Morsi and whoever's next all share the same basic anti-union, pro-privatization economic agenda with varying amounts of lip service paid to addressing corruption and "social justice" issues. And various amounts of religious cray-cray mixed in.

    http://www.salon.com/2012/01/26/the_gop_brotherhood_of_egypt/

    Egypt has been basically Akbar Shrugged for a long time now. Swap Christianity for Islam and you've basically got Paul Ryan's dream society.

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  86. Seems I was halfway wrong.

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  87. I'll raise you a "tell 'em to go fuck themselves". THAT'S who they are. The people who either never learned to masturbate and who need to be told to do so and instructed how, or those who're overdoing it, like Brooks.

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  88. And they waste a lotta time doin' nothin.

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  89. You have excellent ta... wait, I don't fuck what I eat. Unless eat is used in the other sense.

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  90. No, he makes sweet, sweet, lovin' to the teleprompter itself.

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  91. montag24:09 PM

    How odd it is that some members of the Brotherhood, in an earlier incarnation, saw fit to assassinate Sadat because he was too much aligned with the West.


    $2+ billion a year from the U.S., to be divvied up by the ruling class and the military, is just too great a prize to go unclaimed....

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  92. montag24:12 PM

    Umm, I think BEM meant Mel Brooks, not David....

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  93. Ah... nice lookout. David Brooks is just so punchable, that whenever I anything remotely related, I RAGE. Seriously, the mans a monster in a tie, who thinks he's impartial. But he's vehemently partial, yet only to himself.

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  94. I'm draen to manicured French adultery, with wine.

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  95. bekabot4:25 PM

    "We eat a salty pretzel to remember the tears shed by the families who lost loved ones in the struggle for freedom"

    This has boundless potential.

    "We drink a middleweight beer in honor of Sam Adams, a patriot who was unwilling to allow entities from offshore to control the commerce of his nation. And then we drink another, and after that, another. So do they still in Massachusetts to this day. Hey, there was a reason they threw the tea overboard."

    "We eat creamed corn in quantity to remember the heavy debt we owe to corndealing philosophes manqués everywhere. The "creamed" part is in honor of what we hope to do to them.

    "And then we eat some raspberries for dessert."

    Crude, but the best effort of which I am capable at this time. Hoping to hear from those who can improve upon the meme.

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  96. Anti-virals are for computers, too. There are even free ones. I think there's something called Malwarebites or bytes. Or Avast! wich gives you a trial period.

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  97. That was my first thought, too. Up high! fellow 5 year old!

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  98. montag25:07 PM

    Ah, so this is a "slowly I turned, step by step... Niagara Falls" sort of reaction, then.

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  99. Yeah, sort of. But it's not a language or country thing... just an always punchable-face thing,

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  100. TomParmenter5:51 PM

    I believe Aubrey Beardsley invented ch*cks with d*cks. Just so you'd know.

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  101. JennOfArk6:58 PM

    Down here, we describe this feeling as "it flew all over me."

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  102. montag26:59 PM

    Haven't you heard? Sam Adams is now officially persona non grata, at least in some of the more patriotic quarters of this here land of ours. (Since none of the big three brewers regularly invoke Gawd in their commercials, I have to assume this is brand warfare psyops ordered by Roger Ailes, who undoubtedly has stock in Coors. The fascists that stay together, play together.)

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  103. montag27:07 PM

    Oh, I kinda doubt that Bongino (why does that name remind me of Topo Gigio giggling maniacally?) gets any first chances to say that to liberals. Not if they see him coming, anyway.

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  104. That's just obscene!

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  105. ADHDJ7:20 PM

    There you go again, playing the in medias res card.

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  106. Tiny Hermaphrodite. Esq.8:17 PM

    Actually masturbation instruction is a common porn genre, or so I'm (innocent me) told.

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  107. Halloween_Jack9:18 PM

    They choke down a pretzel in honor of GWB.

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  108. montag29:26 PM

    Sort of like fundamentalist Christianity--introduce just the tiniest bit of doubt, and they are sure the entire edifice is in danger of toppling over.


    Funny, that. Two major institutions of the West propped up entirely by blind, unreasoning faith....

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  109. Kobie9:51 PM

    But then it doesn't push back ...

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  110. With all those references to Obama the African Dictator, I'm a little
    disappointed that there's no cannibalism-innuendo. I mean, barbeques? Is
    the right -wing getting lazy or what?

    http://anto84.blogdetik.com/828betcom-sebagai-agen-bola-terpercaya-piala-dunia-2014/

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  111. Because the guy who started this particular internet meme was found dead in two of them:


    OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.

    Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died(while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking).

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  112. BigHank5310:56 PM

    This wouldn't have been a library in Springfield, Mass, would it?

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  113. Halloween_Jack12:13 AM

    Nope.

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  114. 2Hairy4U12:19 AM

    Hey the sheep is black. What more do you want?

    ReplyDelete
  115. AGoodQuestion1:03 AM

    Political thoughts about nothing. We're back to Seinfeld.

    ReplyDelete
  116. AGoodQuestion1:06 AM

    Yeah, given that the freedoms he's most likely to champion are the freedoms haves exercise in dicking over the have-nots, he makes it just a little too easy.

    ReplyDelete
  117. AGoodQuestion1:12 AM

    Have you tried switching up browsers? Some time ago I found that I couldn't comment here on Explorer, but Chrome works fine.

    ReplyDelete
  118. smiea6:28 AM

    as the seasons change, so must the news cycles, as the rightbloggers' all-scandal programming.

    _______________________

    ray ban aviator polarized

    ReplyDelete
  119. reallyaimai7:07 AM

    Good to know. I will run that by my live in IT guy. Maybe, though, this is all a plot to drag my attention back to him? Hope not. Can't go on much longer without free access to alucublog.

    ReplyDelete
  120. BigHank537:13 AM

    Good. I still feel guilty about those unpaid overdue fees.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Well, a white one, obviously.

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  122. Dennis9:55 AM

    Castrated.

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  123. I have a feeling your meaning in sharing this link would elude me even in translation.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Sorry you're so butthurt, Dennis Gene. Put the iPhone down and get back to work.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Dennis10:08 AM

    To hard necessity ones will and fancy must conform..

    ReplyDelete
  126. Mayor: Is this true?

    Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.

    [pause]

    Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Night_Train_to_Mundo_Fine10:45 AM

    Roy- check out Jonah's blurb today on NRO Corner. He's decrying (among other things) legacy journalism.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Dennis11:00 AM

    Hot tub: DA, conform or fuck off. Those are your options.

    DA: Ok, then conform it is.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Sam Adams is now officially persona non grata

    Well, given that he was a revolutionary who was willing to actually put his life on the line for liberty, instead of just standing around in a tricorner hat pissing and moaning about lazy blackamoors obtaining free government mail-franking privileges, I'm surprised he was ever grata.

    ... Oh, rightt, the beer. Sorry, I always get tripped up by that. The same thing happens with noted Upstate New York suffragette Genny Light.

    ReplyDelete
  130. He's decrying (among other things) legacy journalism.

    Okay, he is now officially trolling God and everything in God's creation. I mean, his brainstem has to have more self-awareness than that ... doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  131. Thanks for proving their point, Dennis.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Can you run the SeaMonkey browser on your iPhone? Because I've never had a problem with it and Disqus, it automatically logs me in whenever I'm on a site that uses Disqus.

    ReplyDelete
  133. freshlysqueezedcynic1:15 PM

    Even more than that, the idea that Pinochet was a "temporary" dictator is often suggested. The democracy he supposedly "midwifed" was in fact created despite him; the country wracked by protest, the army advised him to step down, lest he face the Allende option himself. The fucker reluctantly agreed, making sure he couldn't be prosecuted for his crimes.

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  134. Dennis1:20 PM

    You keep saying that.

    You keep not doing it.

    Doxxer a don't like the doing part, they want some else to do it.

    Doxxers are cowards. Usually they are conformists, too.

    ReplyDelete
  135. montag21:57 PM

    Der Pantload has never done anything resembling journalism, so his legacy status in it can't be challenged. That must be the dodge he's employing.

    ReplyDelete
  136. montag22:08 PM

    All true.

    ReplyDelete
  137. mrstilton2:33 PM

    Let us not in our otherwise laudable zeal for brevity neglect to mention that the reverend gentleman, hogtied and double-wetsuited though he was, managed to ram a becondomed dildo up his arse before departing this vale of tears to enter upon the eternal reward that awaits all faithful servants of The Lord.

    ReplyDelete
  138. You mean that he probably had a spotter who took off like a bat out of hell when the Lords' minister quit breathing.


    Why, that's CRAZY TALK.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Halloween_Jack3:40 PM

    In the first Star Trek movie, Spock is about to join a monastic sect on Vulcan (spoiler: he doesn't) that strives to achieve a state of pure logic and zero emotion. Jonah must have joined a cult that achieves pure superfluousness and zero self-awareness. When told that he'd shat his pants, he'd reply, "What pants?"

    ReplyDelete
  140. Ahhh, Zen:



    What is the sound of one pant shitting?


    What, a colored? Oof, we blundered!

    ReplyDelete
  141. to enter upon the eternal reward


    IYKWIMAITYD.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Jeffrey_Kramer9:12 PM

    He was a midwife of democracy, in the sense that he kept shoving the baby back in for seventeen years until he got too feeble to keep pushing.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Well, you know what bahhh people are like.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Just sent this thru LinkedIn to Peter Black, Dennis, under my meatspace name.

    I'd like you to have a word with Dennis Gene Schlachter about his stalking me on the Internet while he is supposedly working for your bank at the same time. You might want to check what he's been doing on his iPhone as well.



    Have a good day tomorrow, Dennis.

    ReplyDelete
  145. I just looked into that. (How could i NOT!). And you're right. And it seems to intersect with another genre where guys get off on being told they have small dicks. Fetish is a many splendored thing, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Frank Avenger10:02 PM

    Hey Frank you stupid fuck. No one can get in trouble for posting anything to you because you are a 50 something year old unemployed, tit sucking of the gov't loser. You are a giant PUSSY

    ReplyDelete
  147. Frank Avenger10:02 PM

    Frank the PUSSY,

    FUCK OFF LOSER

    ReplyDelete
  148. Frank Avenger10:03 PM

    Dennis,

    This guy is a fucking loser. Try and not waste time posting to him. What a douche bag he is

    Frank

    ReplyDelete
  149. Thomas, I went to the trouble of looking up Dennis' employer, and he had the sense to back off. Would you like your lovely wife Kristen what a sick mind you have?


    Back off, jerk-face, I'm a scientist.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Thomas Dufner, would you like those nice people who employ you at the credit union to know what a jerk you are these days?

    ReplyDelete
  151. Frank Avenger11:24 PM

    Hey Frank,

    Bring it on you pussy. You have no idea who I am and I would live for to try and find out. Sad thing is, I know who you are- a liberal pussy classic "I am going to call your family, etc...." Come visit me if you think you know who I am. Would love to give you a taste of chocolate

    ReplyDelete
  152. Frank Avenger11:27 PM

    Don't know who you are referring to but I am Frank Avenger and I would love for you to contact my employer. You fookin douche bag. Can't take it Franky Poo. Going to hurt yourself? You lost you wanna be bully. Bring it on

    ReplyDelete
  153. Sorry, Thomas, but I'll have to research your employer later tonight, and then write a letter that will go out tomorrow. They should get it Wed or Thursday. Have fun waiting for that shoe to drop.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Thomas, do you know this woman?

    https://www.facebook.com/kristen.dufner.7?ref=ts&fref=ts

    Happy 13th Anniversary to my loving, funny, persistent goofball hubby!! love you to bits and the life we have., What a journey is has been and will
    continue to be as long as we are together!! oxox


    Next time, I'll post a link to your comment to her FB account.

    ReplyDelete
  155. edroso12:12 AM

    Chutney, I've removed these people from the comments pool -- I'm also deleting some of your more personal posts about them. I don't want this sort of thing here. Okay?

    ReplyDelete
  156. All right, but I will keep my word with them.

    ReplyDelete