COUNTERCULTURE. Press release in the mail today:
A Thrill Ride For Patriots
Spring, TX, October 8, 2012 – Sometimes you just have to take a stand. Our country first learned this through the American Revolution, and a stubborn insistence on liberty is the hallmark of patriots to the present day. Telling that story in all its many forms is bound to be exciting and inspirational. In Patriots of Treason ( AKA-Publishing), David Thomas Roberts bursts into the political thriller genre with style and passion.
A nation in crisis. A president of division. A deadlocked Congress. The United States is on the brink of civil war — again. Only a courageous federal whistleblower, an ordinary Texan and a governor who won’t tolerate the shredding of the Constitution can thwart an evil conspiracy by the federal government.
An incumbent minority president, losing at the polls in his re-election bid due to the economy, gas prices and scandals in his administration, pulls an “October Surprise” that swings the election. An assassination attempt creates the perfect scapegoat — the Tea Party — through a deceit so well disguised that it comes dangerously close to succeeding.
But, like patriots before them, some won’t stand for it. Some will become Patriots of Treason. Taut and suspenseful, readers will just have to hang on and ride to the end for a surprising conclusion.
Interesting, if a little
derivative. Maybe it will make
Camille Paglia less gloomy about the arts.
What about that movie Last Ounce of Courage that was being relentlessly promoted to me by the incredibly uninformative commercials? Apparently one of the characters is named "Christian Revere", I shit you not. Apparently, it has something to do with the War On Christmas That Is Totally Real, Guys, We're Not Just Ginning Up Fake Controversies To Pretend That Conservatives Are The Real Victims, Honest To God™.
ReplyDeleteThen, of course, there's Atlas Shrugged Part II (motto: "It can't be worse!"), which for some reason has Esai Morales in it. If you feel the need to watch that movie, just suppress the urge and go see Looper for the fourth time.
And conservatives wonder why no one in Hollywood is returning their calls.
I await the sequel, Traitors of Patriotism, and the author's other work, Patios of Unreason.
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't get me to click that Paglia link in two million yrs.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll bet Roy's never been gladder he left Texas.
Will its intended audience realize it's fiction?
ReplyDeletewhich for some reason has Esai Morales in it.
ReplyDeleteReally? Poor Esai. Actors can rarely afford to turn down a gig, so I suspect that's the reason. (Cf. The Hallmark Channel, where once-promising actors go to pay the rent).
People who can't write for people who can't read? Yes, they'll realize it's "fiction."
ReplyDeleteTaut and suspenseful, readers will just have to hang on and ride to the end for a surprising conclusion
ReplyDelete---which is that the last twelve years has all been a fantasy concocted by a little autistic boy who is the son of sandra fluke and tim duncan.
is christian revere married to betsy reagan? and do they have two kids, awesome goldwater and calvin totallycoolidge?
ReplyDeleteCamile Paglia and the Wall Street Journal: a match made in hell.
ReplyDelete"An assassination attempt creates the perfect scapegoat --- the Tea Party --- through a deceit so well disguised that it comes dangerously close to succeeding."
ReplyDeleteMe... I'd have advised Obama and his jackbooted minions to keep it simple and just plant the body of a dead rent boy in the trunk of one of Ann Romney's Cadillacs, but I guess David Thomas Roberts wanted to prove that he really got his money's worth out of that Texas A&M political thriller writing seminar.
Excellent. That's one Christmas present sorted out.
ReplyDeleteElectin' 2: Apoplectic Ooga-Boogaloo
ReplyDeleteI dunno, I think you should read it for the perversely impressive complete-wrongness to word-count ratio. I mean, much of it's the usual regurgitated boilerplate right-wing bullshit for the mouth-breathers, but the rest on recent art history is going to make a jealous Tom Friedman cry so hard through his Acuvue <®> contacts that it drips through his Clubman-waxed <™> moustache into his Frappaccino <®>.
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteDidn't LaHaye do this in the "Left Behind" shlock?
ReplyDelete... and just like the Ayn Rand money-porn, the RW Cheetoh-Eaters need to have some fantasy to make their sad existence potentially meaningful....
ReplyDeleteSee "Ayn Rand"..... ;-)
ReplyDeleteJust once, I'd like to see an American "president of division" that split my personal hairs precisely.
ReplyDeleteWell played, sir, on the first link of the that last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI realize Camille Paglia is an idiot with delusions of grandeur, but dumb statements about the arts particularly rankle me. She claims that capitalism can save art, and simultaneously asserts that "For the arts to revive in the U.S., young artists must be rescued from their sanitized middle-class backgrounds." If the latter is actually her goal, the obvious solution is more evil gummint soshalism – fund the arts, you fucking moron!
"Patriots of Treason" -- I like the sound of that --rolls off the tongue real nice. I suggest the Sons of Confederate Veterans consider it for a rebranding strategy.
ReplyDeleteAyn Rand/Romney slash?
ReplyDeleteSince it's Obama, wouldn't that be [beat] long division?
ReplyDeleteA while back, there was this anti-immigration troll on another blog who kept complaining that our American Culture (tm) was being swept away. I agreed, and say that there just weren't great American authors coming up anymore. I'd point to the likes of Bolano, who was supported by the Mexican government and wrote so beautifully. What will become of American culture, I'd say. The game would end with the realization that when he said culture, he meant pimento cheese spread, not the arts.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why conservative fantasy all seems to run int he same vein: A revolt against authority that imposes rigid authoritarianism.
ReplyDeletea stubborn insistence on liberty is the hallmark of patriots to the present day
ReplyDeleteThis is the douchiest phrase of them all. Seriously, I need to go wash my hands to get the douche off, just from copy and pasting that.
I actually forced down some of Paglia's text, but stopped here: "It is capitalism that ended the stranglehold of the hereditary aristocracies." And yet it was one of Sam Walton's billion-heirs that just opened a museum of American art (none of that modern garbage) in Arkansas, not the government. I don't expect future Carnegies to be as expansive in the world-view. But someone can always be relied upon to pay people to write like Paglia.
ReplyDeleteSo, once again, we get someone pre-loading an excuse for when someone takes a potshot at the president. It wasn't us! It's a conspiracy! Never mind that we started showing up to Obama rallies with guns years ago! Don't take away our precious!
ReplyDeleteGiven how much preoccupation these people have with their guns--not just clinging to them bitterly, but brandishing and, shall we say, a certain fondling--it's a bit of comic relief to wade through Camille Paglia's latest rant, in which she indulges in fetishism of a different sort, the kind that she may have picked up from William Gibson's later books, or maybe she just finally broke down and bought an iPhone and holy shit she just can't stop playing the Angry Birds, who knew how cool this shit was? Art school is dumb and these damn kids these days should ignore their "parents eager for the false cachet of an Ivy League sticker on the car" (says the Yale graduate) and learn a decent trade so that she doesn't have to wait around all day for a damn plumber when she needs one.
i'll wait for the Armando Iannucci film adaptation, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWhen, oh when will the Ivies step into the 21st century and start offering courses in HVAC and tractor trailer driving?
ReplyDeleteThe reviews are in, and critics everywhere are saying that "How Capitalism Can Save Art" is a *must read*! Camille Paglia IS Dominique Francon!
ReplyDeleteThe reviews are in, and critics everywhere agree that "How Capitalism Can Save Art" is a must-read. Camille Paglia IS Dominique Francon!
ReplyDeleteone christmas present?
ReplyDeleteDamn posting lag...
ReplyDeleteC'mon. Doooooo it. C'moooooon.
ReplyDelete"Okay. The coast is clear. Get the body into the trunk, and we're outta here ... What?"
ReplyDelete"Uh, there are already two dead bodies in the trunk."
I actually saw that movie in theatres. It's almost too crazy to properly describe. The characters learn there's a War on Christmas by watching a clip of the O'Reilly Factor. A kid is threatened with suspension for having a Bible in his locker, which totally has happened all the time. A gay character is last seen being locked in a closet. Of the two black characters, one is a janitor and the other is the EEEEVIL ACLU lawyer. The film's bookended by Ronald Reagan quotes.
ReplyDeleteComedy of the year!
So, uh, if I'm following the "reasoning" here correctly, the incumbent ,er, fakes an assassination attempt in order to swing the electorate, but then genuinely wins the election? Which still makes him constitutionally the President of the United States, unless he's removed by subsequent impeachment? And these "patriots of treason" act bravely against the background of "the brink of civil war" to ... what, exactly? Expose the plot so that the deadlocked Congress unites to remove the President from office and make the Joe Biden analogue president? Hooray? The only way I see this turn into even a fictional win for them is (1) removing the VP as well and elevating the GOP Speaker of the House to the presidency, which doesn't fix the Congressional deadlock or the brink of civil war thing; (2) indulging in a flagrantly unconstitutional "takesies-backsies" to award the presidency to the challenger in order to prevent the shredding of the Constitutution, which is even less likely to fix the congressional deadlock or the brink of civil war thing; or (3) initiating (and winning) another civil war, which would fix the congressional deadlock and the brink of civil war thing. Yeah, that's reassuring.
ReplyDeleteTL;DR: When you've already been calling for armed insurrection against a constitutionally-elected president, you're using "scapegoat" wrong.
Camille Paglia's still alive?
ReplyDeleteA Thrill Ride For Patriots
ReplyDelete"You must be this banal to enjoy this read"
Also,
ReplyDelete"An incumbent minority president"
What is that piercing whistling sound?
ReplyDeleteActors can rarely afford to turn down a gig, so I suspect that's the reason.
Yep. Armin Shimerman appeared in Atlas Shrugged Pt. 1, even though he's best known for playing Quark on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, a character whose purpose on the show was to provide comic relief, often in the form of satirical critiques of capitalism and sexism. (Imagine how many of the usual suspects that Roy links to here would go for the Ferengi tradition that women can not only not own property, but are forbidden to wear clothing.)
Thanks a lot. Now what am I supposed to get Mom?
ReplyDeleteThey also seem to be a little bit fuzzy on the definitions of "patriots" and "treason". I'll spot them the "of".
ReplyDeleteYou sick, sick bastard. I have just thrown up everything I've ever eaten since my time in the womb. Well fuckin' played.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt. I bet none of them can even define "liberty" but they'll pout about being ready to die kill for it.
ReplyDeleteBuck, buck, buck...
ReplyDeleteDon't forget Unreasonable Pathos.
ReplyDeleteIt's news to me.
ReplyDeleteBut not good news.
~
"Taut and suspenseful, readers will just have to hang on"
ReplyDeleteSomewhat douchey--what makes these idiots think I'm taut and suspenseful? I mean, I AM, but they don't know that.
Define "alive." But seriously: in a pleasing analogue to Poe's Law, there is nothing that Paglia writes that cannot be extracted and presented as a parody of Camille Paglia.
ReplyDeleteBut there is a larger question: What do contemporary artists have to say, and to whom are they saying it? Unfortunately, too many artists have lost touch with the general audience and have retreated to an airless echo chamber.
ReplyDeleteFirst thought: Who knows more about "airless echo chambers" than Paglia?
Second: Of course there is no such thing as an airless echo chamber. In space, no one can hear you dream (of a world in which the likes of Paglia, Friedman, etc. are not well-paid to type up the equivalent of an infant scribbling on the wall with its own feces).
~
The only reason I can think of that Paglia ever got public attention was that she's a woman who thinks feminism sucks. Which is a sure-fire guarantee someone will want to publish you.
ReplyDeleteHey, she's a libertarian democrat who voted for Obama, how can one not respect her inane ramblings about the current art scene? I suspect she's exposed to the kind of art she's hoping for all the time, but calls the city hotline to get someone to come out and paint over it.
ReplyDeleteAnn or Mitt?
ReplyDeleteOops, wrong thread. Regarding this one, I think we've already seen the October surprise, and it really wasn't all that surprising in hindsight.
ReplyDeleteAnswer: "A courageous federal whistleblower, an ordinary Texan and a governor who won’t tolerate the shredding of the Constitution."
ReplyDeleteQuestion: "What are a stalker, a big talker, and bizarro Scott Walker?"
Actually, I got a little misty-eyed with pride when I read the author managed to put the conclusion at the end of the book. Too often, that's where they start.
ReplyDeleteCocktail ice road truckers.
ReplyDeleteI, for one, would have loved hearing more about Ms. Paglia's collection of Thomas Kinkade paintings and Hummel figurines. You know... the ones she got for their "investment value"...
ReplyDeleteSeems to me that if you impeach the whole Democratic national ticket, because they both benefited from the fake assassination, it would be a clear win, because all you'd have to do to make sure the Republican loser becomes president as he (or she!) rightfully should is--just before impeachment is finalized--find a Republican Congressman willing to retire early after a lifetime of selfless dedication to the Constitution, have the governor of his state appoint the national loser to fill that seat until a "special election" can be held, but then as soon as Mr Loser shows up in Congress, have the GOP Speaker step down and the GOP vote Mr Loser their new Speaker. He nobly abstains from the impeachment vote, gets to be president, sends his running mate's name back to the House for confirmation, and the former Speaker who is now the Speaker again counts the Ayes. BOOM, it's so easy!
ReplyDeleteIt just won't be America anymore if our grandchildren sometimes eat hummus.
ReplyDeleteAKA-Publishing: slightly more prestigious than NEÉ-Publishing.
ReplyDeleteWait. "(A)irless echo chamber(s)"? From the woman who thinks Madonna is still a relevant representative of the 21st century?
ReplyDeleteCamille Pagila is dead, dead, dead, undead. Camille Pagila is dead.
ReplyDeleteWhat about " With one leap he was free President!". They won't have to do plot then.
ReplyDeleteJohn C. Calhoun, yo.
ReplyDeleteHey, maybe when they do, all those kids who came up in the elite prep schools can help them out with a better song.
ReplyDeleteSo they're finally admitting they're traitors. Baby steps, baby steps.
ReplyDelete"David Thomas Roberts bursts into the political thriller genre with style and passion."
ReplyDeleteLater, the genre took a bottle of Morning After pills.
That's the Wabash Cannonball, mds. It's here to drag all the atheists, hippies, blahs and their assorted running dogs (I'm looking at you David Frum) off to the hell they deserve, thus engendering a new era of What Was Before.
ReplyDeletePatios of Unreason.
ReplyDeleteLanais of Liberty, please.
IT CANNOT FAIL
ReplyDelete"never turn down a gig."
ReplyDelete-the 144th rule of acquisition
Good point. "You can't tell me what to do, Daddy! Fuck you! Now give me a job."
ReplyDeleteYou can't have echoes without any air. Paglia physics/metaphor fail.
ReplyDelete"The routine defamation of capitalism by armchair leftists in academe and the mainstream media has cut young artists and thinkers off from the authentic cultural energies of our time."
ReplyDeleteDefamation? What is capitalism being accused of, routinely, that isn't accurate? How many anti-capitalism messages did you see today, versus pro-capitalism ones? No, scratch that. Not anti-capitalism, but actually slanderous towards capitalism as an ideology?
What kind of advertisers do they have booked for that time slot? Next up on CNBC: the Capitalism Sucks Hour, brought to you by Viagra and Class-War-On (Apply Directly to Bourgeoise)
For fucks' sake. I get so tired of this idea that capitalism is this delicate little hothouse flower that will wilt and die if you say anything disparaging about it and can't ever possibly compete against the media-savvy, sophisticated anti-capitalism brigade (also known as, this one time Rachel Maddow said a snarky thing about bankers)
Besides, artists don't know how to be commercial these days? Really? Damien Hirst is standing outside Paglia's house in the rain holding up a boom box covered completely in diamonds... when Paglia dies, I hope her own personal hell consists of spending eternity at a Mr. Brainwash exhibition -- where the paintings are all free. NOOOOO!O!O!O!O!OO!!!!1!!!
Plus, if these young artists and thinkers are indeed young and thinkers, aren't they going to just ignore whatever the mainstream is telling them to do, anyway? Is she saying that Andy Warhol made the art that he did because we had a much more capitalism-friendly media back then? Because he had a guidance counselor who encouraged him to do commercially successful art? What about the fact that you can actually get mega-fuck-you rich as an artist today because people are buying contemporary art for millions? What about the fact that we had a marginal 90% income tax at the time Warhol was working? I doubt it's ever been easier to get mega rich as an artist as it is today.
From where I sit, the "authentic cultural energies of our time" (at least what I think Paglia means by that) are happening at internet startups, places not exactly cut off from "young artists and thinkers." Has she ever seen an iPhone before? Heard of this internet thing?
If one wanted to bitch about how modern art sucks, the fact that our society's best and brightest are spending their prime years writing ad copy and making art for video games and obnoxiously skeumorphic apps and whatnot would be a much better villain. Or crushing student loan debts that cause our best and brightest to spend some of their best years just trying to make the minimum payments?
"Her sixth book, "Glittering Images: A Journey Through Art From Egypt to Star Wars," will be published Oct. 16 by Pantheon"
At last! A book about art that Jonah Goldberg might read!
You know, between this book and that "Take The 'R' Train" song, I think the tide of the culture war has turned decisively against us libruls.
ReplyDeletei would like to put this comment in a jar of urine.
ReplyDeleteOh, I saw that too!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part was when the pharmacist Revere is at his drug store and these tough looking biker thugs (who were deep down actually "Real Americans") came in for an ad-hoc medical consultation regarding the abdominal gunshot wound one of the bikers had.
After a thoroughly professional examination conducted behind the counter Revere pronounced the gunshot wound "superficial" and then asks if he got it doing anything illegal (apparently the pharmacy board is very strict about reporting such things when it's members are practicing medicine without a license). After being reassured that the wound was self-inflicted (yuk yuk!) he sent them on their way with a band-aid and a hearty back slap.
Or maybe it was when the kids decided that those damn progressives couldn't weren't going to oppress them any longer and they went up to the attic to get those Christmas decorations which had been secreted away years earlier (ala Anne Frank) to avoid detection by the liberal thought police. After they got all the wreaths, tinsel, lights and other secular Christmas items put up it was proof that they had indeed put "Christ Back In Christmas".
No, wait, the best part was the trailer they showed for the new Jamie Foxx movie "Django Unchained" where he plays a slave-turned-bounty-hunter who outsmarts all the southern white racists. The audience actually *groaned* when it was over.
Good times.
Paul Ryan watches.
ReplyDeleteThe only way I see this turn into even a fictional win for them is (1)
ReplyDeleteremoving the VP as well and elevating the GOP Speaker of the House to
the presidency
Over Daniel Inoyue's dead body.
So whistleblowers are heroes now.
ReplyDeleteI've got about 4,000 of 'em to spare.
ReplyDeleteWhile holding Tagg's hand. God, I hope he doesn't do more than hold his hand....huuurrrrghhh!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, the Turner Diaries updated for the teabagger era. Wonder how many dead bodies *this* one will help create...
ReplyDelete