IN RUSSIA, MUSIC PLAYS YOU! Years ago, while the Soviet Union was still kicking, I recall there was a crime wave in Brighton Beach (not the ongoing Russian Mob stuff, I mean muggings and such like). One of the local papers reported on it, and interviewed some old Russian residents of the neighborhood, all of whom noted nostalgically that, back in the old country, they knew how to deal with people like this. Life in a police state, their wistfulness suggested, had its advantages.

I am reminded of this whenever some former inmate of an authoritarian state complains of America's lack of resemblance to the hellhole whence he came. But things have changed a little. Where once these discussions mainly involved street crime, now they involve -- what else? -- culture war.

Witness these ravings from a former resident of the Ukraine who, though he has left the land of Zhdanovism behind, still persists in judging art by the standards of propaganda. Today's double-plus-nogoodniks: John Lennon and Yoko Ono!

Have you ever been asked whom you liked better, John or Paul? And have you ever answered “John” on a vague assumption that otherwise people might have less respect for your other views? Wonder why? The question was never about music - it was about your moral philosophy. To answer it correctly - assuming you wanted to fit into the crowd - you had to consider the moral philosophy of the crowd, thus voluntarily submitting your mind to thought policing. In most cases, answering “Paul” constituted a thought crime...

How I remember the heart-rending scenes when a high-school buddy, perhaps too stoned to watch his mouth, expressed a fondness for "Rocky Raccoon" and was immediately dragged away by the Secret Police, never to be seen again!

The author, one Oleg Atbashian, states that "the practice of shaping musical tastes based on political correctness comes too close to the practices of the Soviet Politburo" -- but ends by declaring that "At this point the question about my favorite Beatle comes down to whose moonbattery makes me least uncomfortable." He chooses Ringo. I yield to no one in my fondness for his first solo album, but really, what normal human being picks favorite musicians on the grounds of politics? It's rather too much like pre-teen girls in 1964 debating over which of the Fab Four was dreamiest.

It might be fun to contact some Beatlemaniacs and tell them, "Hey, there's a cool Paul vs. John debate over at Pajamas Media!" Imagine their puzzled looks when they get a load of passages like this:

In the “progressive” book of virtues, American values are the quintessence of evil. So if you are a “progressive” and you aren’t mad at this country, that just means you’re neither honest nor consistent. But then again, because living by this dead-end moral code is logically impossible, one has to resort to hypocrisy and seek compromises, forever balancing on the edge of madness.

Jesus Christ. Can't we do a better job of acclimating these fucking immigrants to our way of life?

Link via the Ole Perfesser, who also directs our attention to culture guff from Fred Thompson, this time on the Right's masturbatory fantasy du jour, 300. "I must say that I’m impressed that Hollywood took on a politically incorrect villain," drawls the old fraud. "Must have run out of neo-Nazis." Haw haw, ole Fred is working that popular right-wing bit about The Sum of All Fears -- which came out in 2002. You'd think they'd find a new hobby horse -- maybe they can say The Hills Have Eyes 2 is P.C. because the inbred killers aren't Muslim.

As for Thompson, he's quickly turning into the reincarnation of Lonesome Rhodes.