Wednesday, October 26, 2005

ENEMIES EVERYWHERE! Michelle Malkin complains that the leftist firebrands at USA Today made Condoleeza Rice look scary.

Next week: Highlights for Children attacks President Bush with its thinly-veiled parody, "Goofus and Gallant."

UPDATE. Apparently USA Today has changed the photo -- the result, some of the blogbrethren believe, of Malkin's tireless efforts to prevent newspapers from making Republican officials look bad.

And it's true! My fellow reporters and I have just received these new approved image standards for President Bush:

  • Acceptable skintones: Pantone 7509C, 7507C (7510C may be used when the President is addressing Latino issues).

  • Eyes: May be narrowed, but not squinting. Stunned expression (white-to-pupil ratio > 2:1) forbidden

  • Mouth: no more than three inches open (void in event of assassination or pie-eating contest). Tucked corners strictly off-limits.

  • Weird Marks on Face: Must be airbrushed out, or accompanied by text explaining that he got them doing something butch.

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