ALTERNATE EXPLANATIONS FOR NORTH KOREA'S NON-NUCLEAR MUSHROOM CLOUD:

• Smoke from barbecue of 100,000 chickens, held in honor of Dear Leader.
  
• Even Dear Leader's farts are impressive, observable from outer space!
  
• Exhaust from Jajus backed up on Dear Leader Expressway during massive Dear Leader Day holiday weekend traffic jam.
  
• Slave labor camp smoke-break, synchronized nationwide -- a testament to Dear Leader's organizational skills.
  
• Massive cloud-sculpture representing nuclear explosion is gift to Dear Leader from the thriving downtown Pyongyang arts community.

If none of these pan out, it was nice knowing you guys.