Monday, January 16, 2017

GAYPOCALYPSE NOW!

Good ol' Rod Dreher is predicting (based in part on the perorations of some guy who has Charles Bronson in Death Wish as his Twitter avatar) that the left will go crazy with violence soon:
[Fake Paul Kersey] says another big takeaway from his tweetstorm to that point are that political violence can come from anywhere, and that the left has the infrastructure to make it happen more than the right does, in part because there are mainstream leftist leaders who would accept it. These don’t exist on the right.
Ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem --  but I expect my throat-clearing is wasted on Dreher, who believes that since liberals are "allowing courses that teach students of all races how terrible white people and their culture is," the only possible result is SJW Violence and Ooga Booga unleashed across the fruited plain.
[Fake Paul Kersey] gets very dark in this series, and says that the actions of the left on Inauguration Day may prove decisive. He links to this article about how various left-wing and anarchist groups are organizing to disrupt the Trump inauguration. If that goes down in a significant way, you can bet that Trump is going to break heads over it — and that a lot of ordinary Americans are going to be on his side.
I wonder why he's so confident liberals will riot at the inauguration -- wishful thinking, perhaps, or maybe he's got some inside information from James O'Keefe.  But more provocative than the blacks and the college students is Dreher's Pubic Enemy Number One:
There’s a report that queer protestors are going to start the ball rolling with a gay dance party outside of Vice President Mike Pence’s home. If that happens, and there is anything lewd about it, then you can bet that the Christian Right, even people who aren’t fond of Trump, will begin to migrate solidly to Trump’s side...
Lewd gay dancing -- the thin, erect end of the wedge! When Mr. and Mrs. America get a load of gay people working it to "Bounce" in the presence of Vice President Pence, there'll be hetero hell to pay. Then maybe Dreher will get the Great Re-a-Straightening he's been dreaming of -- hell, maybe they can turn Milo!

I know we're supposed to be scared of Trump, but I can't imagine being as scared of anything as Dreher is scared of everything.

UPDATE. Dreher always brings out the best in my commenters. "Fidel from the Castro: 'History of Disco, Volume 3 will absolve me,'" and "RuPaul Revere: 'One if by glam, two if by glee,'" contributes J---. "Maybe Rod should drop Logo from his cable package," suggests AGoodQuestion. And Fats Durston gives us a sneak preview of the forthcoming classic, Rainbow Dawn:
Sergeant: The Bisexuals reinforced with some weird division. Subarus across the plains. Thrusting ever forward, right down our throats. Cut the pipeline we needed. Dykes overran the dikes we had set up round N'Orleans. Just when it stabilized, then six million screaming ladyboys.

Kid: I thought there were ten million screaming ladyboys?

Sergeant: There were.
Go look just to see what he uses for "Wolverines."

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about how conservatives celebrated MLK Day by beating up King's old comrade John Lewis.

The column came too soon, alas, to cover as alicublog has done in the past the more general rightwing Martin Luther King Day tributes. But some of the brethren stepped up early. At Laura Ingraham's LifeZette, Lee Habeeb, whose gibberish has been examined here before, claims "the media" doesn't want us to know that King was a man of God.
"Leaving God out of Martin Luther King's life," a friend once told me, "is like leaving naked young women out of Hugh Hefner's. It's like leaving the story of segregation out of Jackie Robinson's."
Yet the filthy media takes the segregation from Jackie Robinson's story and puts it in King's too, which is double-dipping!
But that won't stop the media from redacting any and all references to the source of King's inspiration. You'll hear endless references to Dr. Martin Luther King this week — but never to Reverend King.
The lesson is that King has been hijacked by race hustlers who think he was about equality or social justice or some shit. Similarly, at National Review Ian Smith says King was a fan of Cesar Chavez, so he would have been against illegal immigrants, just like You Know Who, and that's his Real Message, never mind this race nonsense. He looked forward to the day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by The Conscience of a Conservative!

Somehow these guys never bring up that King advocated a guaranteed national income.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN.


I'm sure I must be someone; now I'm gonna find out who.

•   Amanda Prestigiacomo of The Daily Signal is enraged because the Washington Post ran a long tribute to our outgoing President and didn't do one for George W. Bush back in the day. But the Post is just giving the people what they want, as they say in show biz: Even casual observers will know that Obama is currently very popular, and that his 55% approval rating contrasts starkly with GWB's 34% at the same stage of his Presidency. (I guess WaPo could have done an 18-page "Thanks for the Recession" feature, but what advertiser would have plunked down money for that?) Cripes, even Republicans know this: It's no accident Bush hasn't attended a GOP National Convention since he left office; clearly no one at the RNC wanted to remind the public of how badly they fucked up the country last time they were in charge. In fact, the citizens may have begun to remember what Republicans are all about lately: the incoming Il Douche is at 37% the least-approved incoming President in recorded history. Nonetheless Prestigiacomo feels compelled to cry Liberal Bias, and even Conspiracy:
Perhaps the "fake news" scare was not only an excuse for Hillary Clinton's truly awful candidacy, but a move in a long game effort to get more conservative news suppressed, as if it hasn't been suppressed enough already.
Honey, it's so much simpler than that: If you don't want to get pelted with tomatoes, leave the stage when they start to boo.

•   Robert Tracinski, insufferable culture warrior, bitches out SJW Wars:
In ‘Rogue One,’ The Hollywood Empire Strikes Back 
'Rogue One' is a throwback to the highbrow Hollywood culture that the original 'Star Wars' film rebelled against back in 1977.
Manny Farber he ain't.
Not many people realize that the great conservative filmmakers of our age are George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Forget about their personal political views, which naturally conform to the left-leaning Hollywood consensus. Think purely in esthetic terms. Lucas and Spielberg collaborated on the two great movie franchises that helped shape the culture of the 1980s: Star Wars and Indiana Jones. 
It’s not just that these films were nostalgic tributes to an old-fashioned style of story-telling, the Westerns and movie serials of the pre-Counterculture era. It’s that the stories were told in bright, primary colors...
But this new stuff is about people who believe in something, which is a drag:
That’s the other thing that’s disappointingly different about Rogue One. There’s a lot of talk in this film about “the cause,” including a scene in which the two lead characters have a tiff about who is more down with the struggle. This probably helps Hollywood leftists feel more at home, because lefties pull this sort of thing on each other all the time. But in the original Star Wars films, there was little discussion of or interest in “the cause"...
It's like when Victor Laszlo told Rick "Welcome to the fight" in Casablanca -- gross, right? It should have ended when Rick got Ilsa to fuck him! That's capitalism, baby -- I stick my neck out for no one! I guess it never occurred to Tracinski that Han joined the rebels for something besides pussy. Or maybe (a stretch, I know) Tracinski doesn't actually give a shit about culture at all, and is just getting with the new realities. Come to think of it, force-choking is a sign of American Greatness!  

• Yet another wan column from Jonah Goldberg, who has been observably demoralized since his Liberal Fascism racket got queered by the election of Republican Mussolini. Or maybe it's not demoralization; maybe he's just taking the opportunity, like other great artists working under constraints, of exploring new frontiers -- in Goldberg's case, of intellectual sloth. The column is mostly "Our Friend The Beaver" phumphering ("With a bullpen of writers like that, it’s no wonder that Washington’s farewell ranks among the great works of literary statecraft..."). Kudos to historian Kevin M. Kruse, however, for noticing this:
Of course, the era of radio and television necessitated — or created the perception of necessity — that presidents address the people directly. Whether that amounted to progress is for others to decide. But until Obama, it never occurred to a president to deliver a televised address from anywhere but the Oval Office.
What a maroon. (Also: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this scale model of the Wall here on my desk in the Oval Office, from which all presidential addresses are given.") Oh, and according to Goldberg Obama's speech was "grandiose" and a "campaign rally." He quotes literally about a dozen words of it. I'll be frank, I don't think he saw or read the speech - I think at best it was on in the background while he was playing Battleship with Jay Nordlinger, or trying to get his fist in his mouth (his own, not Nordlinger's, though you never know, Nordlinger sure isn't earning a salary with his writing). And people think liberals are demoralized! At least we don't have to pretend shit is gold.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

URINETOWN.

It's not the piss, it's the mop-up! Amusing as the story is, I think it petered out, so to speak, as a live issue when FISA declined the FBI request to authorize surveillance of Trump's goons -- though I would be happy to be proven wrong.

Till then, the reverse-field running of those crazy cucks at National Review will be my primary source for laffs. Today, here's Rich Lowry's terse communique:
My quick two cents: 1) In no universe should it be OK for a journalistic outfit to publish a document containing explosive allegations that it doesn’t believe are credible — this is just outrageous; 2) Until we have some confirmation of verifiable details — and no media entity has produced any yet, despite trying to chase them down — we should consider the most damaging information in the dossier to be garbage based on hearsay and rumor.
Hmmph! Annnnd here's Rich Lowry days before the election when the whole world was yakking about a Hillary Clinton email scandal that would prove bogus:
Before Democrats burn James Comey in effigy, they should think about how the FBI director came to have an outsized influence in the election in the first place.

It’s not something Comey sought or welcomed. A law-enforcement official who prizes his reputation, he didn’t relish becoming an object of hate for half the country or more. No, the only reason that Comey figures in the election at all is that Democrats knowingly nominated someone under FBI investigation.

Once upon a time — namely any presidential election prior to this one — this enormous political and legal vulnerability would have disqualified a candidate. Not this year, and not in the case of Hillary Clinton.
Not sure who's ratfucking in the present case, but some fucking rats are always on the scene.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

THE ACTRESS VS. THE WITCHFINDERS.

I guess the brethren will be going on for the rest of the week about how Meryl Streep assaulted their snowflake sensibilities by saying it was bad when The Leader made fun of that crippled guy -- and, worse yet, did so using her evil devil-sent acting talents, rather than (as God intended) with high moral stiffness, like a pundit on a Commentary podcast:
On the first of this week’s podcasts, we dilate [!-ed.] upon Meryl Streep attacking Donald Trump and Donald Trump attacking Meryl Streep and how Trump represents a different kind of combative conservative—one who has his own form of pop-culture reach that is beyond the capacity of the Streeps to silence or control.
I'm not going to spend half an hour of my precious drinking time experiencing a dilated John Podhoretz -- that time I braved a Nick Gillespie podcast on how Trump could be good for libertarianism was bad enough. But what a pitch! Trump will not be silenced by the Streeps! He is beyond the Streeps capacity! He's taking it to the Streeps!

There are plenty of these idiots enraged over the mild criticism of their buffoon-king, but so far the worst (to be fair it was always a safe bet, though Dreher is a close second) is David French at National Review:
I have no particular affection for Trump, but I positively loathe the condescension, alarmism, ignorance, and self-regard of the wealthy Hollywood Left, and each of those elements was on full display in Streep’s speech.
As a believing Christian, I can't quite come out and say I love the pussy-grabbing Putin pal, but if there's one thing I positively loathe (you hear me, plain people? Looooathhe) it's elitism, at least as long as the bullshit-populism thing we got going now still plays. (Why he didn't just say "ah don' lahk me no fancy big-city actress nohow" and spit, I can't guess.)

French's arguments against the actual speech are ridiculous. Get a load:
Streep raised the specter that Trump would expel “outsiders and foreigners,” leaving Hollywood bereft of talent. Yet is anyone proposing deportation of legal-immigrant Hollywood actors?
That's even stupider than usual for him, because he's just making shit up -- there is nothing actually genuinely offensive in the speech except what he projects onto it, which is his own stark terror that anyone can claim the attention of an audience who isn't a beady-eyed Witchfinder General like himself or a blow-dried con man like the politicians he serves. And so he does the Whore of Babylon bit to get the rubes quaking:
Hollywood sells the best cultural drugs. Truth is optional, self-indulgence is a virtue, and bullying is bravery. And last night it was all wrapped in Streep’s alluring package, an emotion-laden call to arms that stirred the hearts of millions.
The humans -- she makes them feel things -- it must be the drugs! French rails about the baleful power of "culture" not because he knows what it is, nor why the human mind and soul invented it, but because he senses its power and sees it as a threat to his own.

What a sad way to live.

Thursday, January 05, 2017

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN.


It was better before, before they voted for What's-his-name.
This must be the new world.

 Even among the other freaks, thieves, and mountebanks Trump has been hiring, the name Katy Talento, slated to advise The Leader on health care policy, stands out. First, she's a contributor to The Federalist, which as regular alicublog readers know is a bad sign right off the bat. One of her posts on the subject of health care is called "Ladies: Is Birth Control The Mother Of All Medical Malpractice?" and in case you're wondering, she thinks it is (h/t Jason Millman). Romper and Talking Points Memo do a good job of debunking her physiological ideas, but even laymen may gape at her connection of birth control with "economic and relational devastation that has left women and children abandoned by men who now feel entitled to consequence-free orgasms." This nut is telling Trump about women's health care and Congress is defunding Planned Parenthood. So much for the Trump third way, huh? But at least Julian Assange is happy!

•  At National Review, Jim Geraghty:
The worst among us do not represent us as a whole, thankfully. William Calley doesn’t represent men and women in uniform. Ward Churchill doesn’t represent professors. Jeffrey Dahmer doesn’t represent chocolate factory employees. Aaron Hernandez does not represent the New England Patriots. 
Most of us know that. Most of us understand that it’s unfair, inaccurate, and a smear to take the worst individual in a group and contend that all members of a group are “like that.” James Holmes is rare among gun owners. Eric Rudolph is rare among abortion opponents. Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik are rare among Muslims.
Come let us reason together! When have you ever seen a wingnut show charity toward Ward Churchill before this? But then Geraghty takes a graf-long detour for a Seinfeldesque didjaever-notice "authorities keep acting like they never want to admit that a mass shooter is Muslim?" and with a weary Not this bullshit again we are reminded that Geraghty is not a healer but a propagandist and his show of reasonableness is a ruse to soften white readers up for his energetic flame-fanning over those black guys in Chicago who tortured a white guy. It's a typical Trumpian "there's-something-going-on" routine -- encouraging listeners to stretch a specific incident into a general indictment without the assistance of logic. Geraghty also links the usual pull-your-pants-up bullshit from David French, whose dogwhistle is nearly split from overblowing; for one thing, the title is "Chicago is Breaking" but the URL is "black-thugs-torture-white-disabled-man-speak-truth-leftists." For another, French finds room in the middle of his customary Obama's-Chicago ululation for this:
Outlets such as Buzzfeed — ever vigilant in the quest to hunt down and expose celebrity Christians who might actually believe the Bible — write fawning articles about hip-hop celebrities who write and produce some of the most vile music imaginable.  
It’s all part of underlying liberal squeamishness about attacking anything that can be labeled authentically “black.” Music “from the streets” is worshipped, no matter its content.
The relevance of French's jungle-music criticism to a crime (the perpetrators of which, I remind you, have been swiftly apprehended) is not immediately apparent unless you're on the same Ooga Booga wavelength as French and his colleagues -- which is just one more reason why it was always a sure bet that, for all their #NeverTrump bullshit, the NROniks would fall in line with The Leader: Game recognize game. Proper conservative clubmen they may be, with good manners and manicured nails, but deep in their shriveled hearts they're delighted to have the cruder Trump and his deranged apparatchiks reverberating their slurs.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

BUBBLE BOY.

if you don't know what it's like to drive a truck, you ain't a real U.S. male, sez tough guy Sean Davis of The Federalist. Davis' angle is that "A Bunch Of Journalists Freak[ed] Out After Being Asked If They Know Anybody Who Drives A Truck." In this case "Freak Out" means they asked, upon being questioned as to whether they owned a truck or not, what owning a truck has to do with anything. This Davis interpreted to mean that reporters are "the most cloistered and provincial class in America" and live in a "liberal media bubble." Davis neglected to mention what sort of truck he drives, what sort of loads he hauls, or if his rig is equipped with a CB and a jaker breaker.

Actually, turns out he's not talking about big rigs, but about Silverados and Tacomas and other such Canyoneros one sees driven by accountants and middle managers all across the fruited plain. But I suspect that is, as the saying goes, central to his point. Davis also lists a bunch of Twitter responses which he portrays as evidence of his thesis; in one of these, Jose A. DelReal says yes, he has a truck "b/c I'm from Alaska. Do any friends own one in DC or NYC? No, because they're unnecessary here." Davis' response: "This person writes for Washington Post and just missed the entire point." That point, apparently, is that in order to be unbubbled and in touch with the Real America you must have a truck, not because you need it, but because lots of Americans have them whether they actually need them to do actual hauling or not, just as many Texans wear cowboy hats whether or not they ever rode herd, or many conservatives revere the Confederate flag whether or not they ever faced the Union Army in battle.

In other words, it's purely symbolic, like a weekend boho's beret or a hipster's lumberjack threads. The only reason to treat the Chevy Silverado with more respect than a lumbersexual's duds or any other fetish object is to communicate to other pencil-neck types that you, and not they, are In Touch with the Common Man. Davis, his bio explains, is a former economic policy adviser to Gov. Rick Perry, CFO of Daily Caller, and chief investigator for Sen. Tom Coburn, and holder of an MBA in finance and entrepreneurial management from the Wharton School, so maybe he needs a truck to put it over. If that doesn't work, maybe he can add a pair of truck nuts. If that also fails, maybe he can resort to other traditional imagery. But doesn't all that posing get tiresome after a while?

UPDATE. Tweaked this to make clear that Davis is talking about suburban-dadmobiles. "I thought he was talking about driving a tractor-trailer!" says Frank McCormick in comments. "Shoot. Does he know that a Ford F-150 actually has automatic transmission and, other than a slightly more of a challenge in parallel parking, drives just like a car? What a sissy!"

Also in comments (which are well worth a visit) are several suggestions for a Wingnut Bubble Test, which might be worth formulating sometime, notwithstanding that such scams are much easier to put over on the other side. Questions might include: Have you ever...

  • taken public transit to work?
  • met a Muslim (protesting at a mosque doesn't count)?
  • "strolled through the alleged 'no-go' zone of east Dearborn so feared by the wingnut community for its demonic Shariah law and roving bands of swarthy terrorists?" (h/t trex)
  • Eaten a vegetarian meal because you were in the mood, not because you were too sick to keep meat down?
  • Read a book for pleasure?

 I could use some more suggestions in comments.