Thursday, October 02, 2014

BRINGING A PUTTY KNIFE TO A CULTURE WAR.

Last week I mentioned some kulturkampf krap from the folks at libertarian flagship Reason. They are apparently serious about pursuing this editorial direction and have enlisted Meredith Bragg and Nick Gillespie to devise a list of "The 5 Best Libertarian TV Shows Ever," available as a video (no fucking way) and as text -- here is a sample:
The Wire (2002-2008). Widely considered one of the greatest TV shows of all time, this Baltimore-based drama has been called a visual novel that explores and analyzes class, race, and politics from multiple viewpoints and perspectives. Different seasons keyed in on different institutions—schools, police, the media—and the ways in power was exercised and abused, often in the name of helping the underprivileged.
I assume this is just Gillespie's way of getting back at David Simon.

Read it and weep -- or read my three alternative entries. And devise some of your own in comments!
Twenty-One. Not only did this pioneering game show feature the sort of intellectual feats of strength at which libertarians excel (you should see us at Quizzo Night!), for a brief, magical period (until the statists shut it down) contestants were allowed to freely engage in informal business arrangements with like-minded entrepreneurs -- or, as the littlebrains would say, to cheat -- which made for a more enjoyable entertainment product and demonstrated the cultural superiority of capitalism. 
The Flintstones. Not being acquainted with the work of Hayek and Ricardo, people of the Paleolitic era lived in Rousseauian confusion and squalor. What would the experience of early man have been like if he had access to a capitalist model? The Flintstones answers this question: It would be like early-60s America, but better, because the meddling hand of the state would be nowhere to be seen. While business thrives, crime in Bedrock is non-existent; Fred and Barney refrain from predation and rapine because their behavior is positively influenced by engagement in "little platoons" such as the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes, and of course by the threat of deprivation should Mr. Slate fire them from the quarry, the "safety net" not having been invented because you can't make a net out of rocks. Saber-tooth tigers gotta eat something! (Bonus: It's a total rip-off of The Honeymooners, and if it weren't for the whole "intellectual property" racket we'd have lots of quality shows like this.) 
Hannibal. It's a miracle the liberal network NBC allowed this story of a truly free man on the air. Most of us are so ground down by the politically-correct conventions of our age that we can't even begin to know what we want, but Dr. Hannibal Lecter not only knows, he also gets it, and lets neither so-called "morality" nor the bumbling fascist police stop him. At last -- for the first time since Dallas went off the air, a character to whom libertarians can really relate.

180 comments:

  1. Ted the slacker2:46 PM

    MacGyver: The best of everything. And it answered the essential question of the 80s, what if any one member of the A-team had gone galt?
    Masterful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Harry Rumbold3:06 PM

    The Flintstones also marked the emergence of Hanna-Barbera from the oppressive Marxian yoke of actually drawing and animating stuff well typefied by that commie Disney and their pre-objectivist Tom and Jerry days.

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  3. John Wesley Hardin3:06 PM

    Hogan's Heroes: A band of plucky males self-organize to outwit their statist captors, consistently showing how individuals acting in their own interests produce superior results than the top-down order that has been imposed on them.

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  4. DocAmazing3:09 PM

    The Night Stalker: Carl Kolchak (like the Admiral that fought the Bolsheviks) is a truly independent reporter who weekly confronts statist horrors while the thuggish Chicago police make the situation worse. He is assisted in his fight for freedom by his lovable boss, Tony Vincenzo.

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  5. John Wesley Hardin3:15 PM

    Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom: Untamed beasts* maul Jim Fowler** as Marlin Perkins*** narrates approvingly.

    *The Free Market
    **Poor people
    ***Reason

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  6. DocAmazing3:18 PM

    In all seriousness, hoe'd they miss Thunderbirds? Ex-astronaut, his family, and an aristocrat (and her faithful chauffer) form a high-tech, privately run international rescue organization that does what governments can't? Better yet, it inspired Team America: World Police!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Seinfeld: a show about nothing, which is to say a show about
    the Libertarian intellectual tradition.

    ReplyDelete
  8. whetstone3:18 PM

    Knight Rider (1982-1986): A titan of capitalism saves a policeman's life, and saves him from a career of bureaucratic, watchdog- and union-strangled toil by creating a vigilante organization with a totally boss patriotic acrynom. To aid the brave private contractor, this Randian uses the power of computer-driven automation to replace his partner with an intelligent, self-driving car*

    *using technology developed at massive expense by the United States government

    ReplyDelete
  9. susanoftexas3:38 PM

    When they put Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer on trial, did they not put us all on trial?

    ReplyDelete
  10. susanoftexas3:44 PM

    The Goa'uld are the ultimate libertarians; might is right and all the worlds are theirs for the taking. The only problem is that the Goa'ulds were actually advanced and not pretending to be something they are not.
    Libertarians are the cosplayers of politics.
    (With apologies to cosplayers everywhere.)

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  11. BRAIN: As you know, Mr. Tracy, A=A.

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  12. I had no idea libertarians were such big Charlene Tilton fans

    Someone has to be.

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  13. DocAmazing3:47 PM

    F.A.B., Miss Rand!

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  14. tigrismus3:50 PM

    Yes, they were very good at appropriating the work of others and forgetting to give credit were it was due, which is totally unlike... heywaitaminnit!

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  15. I nominate My Mother The Car, for pioneering the idea of downloading human consciousness into machines long before even science fiction conceived of it.

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  16. RogerAiles3:52 PM

    Happy Days (1974-1984): It taught Nick Gillespie how to dress. Plus: Chuck Cunningham = John Galt.

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  17. susanoftexas3:53 PM

    X-Files: Heroic aliens attempt to colonize Earth because "they were doing nothing with it." They are constantly dragged down in their efforts by the lice named Mulder and the scum named Scully.

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  18. The Twilight Zone: Because in a space of infinite dimensions, in which the laws that define reality are limited only by one's imagination, there must surely be a world in which libertarian economic theory works.

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  19. DocAmazing3:54 PM

    "Submitted for my approval..."

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  20. susanoftexas3:54 PM

    It's not an appropriation, it's an homage!

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  21. coozledad3:54 PM

    The Banana Splits, because furries.

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  22. All in the Family: The respected family patriarch amusingly dispenses true wisdom to his moocher daughter and son-in-law. It examines the power of the self-organizing family unit, with the most capable person (Archie Bunker) naturally rising to the top of the social order, earning the right to rule. Simultaneously, the show would highlight the failures of the "liberation" counter-culture (embodied by a "meathead") which actually relied on demonstrably false, socialist notions. Race relations were negotiated on an individual basis through the Bunker's neighbors the Jeffersons instead of by governmental fiat, underscoring the importance of contractual relations over government coercion.

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  23. Also: FLUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, which is Seventies TV for FAAAAAAAAARRRRT.

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  24. DocAmazing3:56 PM

    Sergeant Schultz demonstrates the proper attitude of regulators and enforcers toward Makers: "I see NOTH-ING!"

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  25. Time Tunnel (1967): A huge secret government facility devoted to time travel, employing thousands of workers and costing billions of dollars, fails to protect two maverick scientists who defy a bureaucratic directive and pass themselves through a time portal in order to prove the validity of their theories. Due to shoddy public-sector workmanship, the system fails and the two protagonists become trapped in time, much the same way libertarians are trapped in their own ideology.

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  26. Plus, the first revelation of Liberal Fascism and its ineptitude.

    ReplyDelete
  27. susanoftexas3:58 PM

    If he were to report their transgressions he wouldn't be rewarded with LeBeau's cooking. It's inevitable.

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  28. To be frank for a moment: I once knew a guy (not a libertarian, though I'm sure the Reasonoids would claim him for their own) who had this very interesting theory about Tom & Jerry. He insisted that it was an allegory demonstrating how the quick-witted individualist could defeat the powerful yet clumsy hand of a seemingly all-powerful oppressor.


    Then again, he read that far into a lot of things. He also once told me that Warcraft 3 was an analogy for geopolitics, with the Human Alliance representing the United States, the Orcish tribes standing in for the Arabic states, and the Undead symbolizing the PRC. I'm not sure who the Night Elves were supposed to be.

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  29. Chilly Willy? Socialist.

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  30. And what's the deal with regulating the most productive members of a society? I don't get it...

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  31. BigHank534:03 PM

    Thundercats: While appearing to be nothing more than an extended commercial for poorly made and overpriced plastic toys manufactured in Asian sweatshops but sold at first-world prices, this animated series displayed utter contempt for physics, martial arts, and basic biology, making libertarian political theory a natural fit.

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  32. For a nanny state offense, no less. If the state is obligated to provide positive liberties, what's to stop it from requiring that everyone provide positive liberties? And what's the deal with airline peanuts?

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  33. OMFG and a representative of the Government/Post Office is the villain! IT'S ALL CLEAR NOW

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  34. M. Krebs4:07 PM

    Green Acres: Oliver and Lisa Douglas escape the oppressive hand of government in New York to live free of burdensome regulations when they buy the Old Haney Place between Pixley and Hooterville. The surrounding area is a Libertarian paradise, where the phone company is not burdened by rules that disallow placing telephones atop poles, and local carpenters practice their trade free of burdensome building codes.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The Simpsons: This heartwarming comedy demonstrates how the benefits of unregulated power can transform a community of inbred morons with horrific overbites into a bustling and diverse metropolis.

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  36. Ted the slacker4:08 PM

    Roadrunner: Only thing he says on the show is "Me, Me"

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  37. And where did the Coyote get money for all those items from, anyway?

    The taxpayer, obviously!

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  38. John Wesley Hardin4:12 PM

    The Night Elves were part of the human alliance; they were exotic but wise, ancient but approachable. So, Canada.

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  39. Helmut Monotreme4:13 PM

    Ever since I saw that film, I have wanted a blue race car with the American flag on the roof, with 1-0 as the side number, that played the Battle Hymn of the Republic when the horn was pressed. I would call it the General Sherman.

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  40. BigHank534:15 PM

    Now, I was going to try to make a Shannon Tweed--libertarian wanking joke, but there really isn't much that's funny about a pudgy guy in forties yankin' it in to late-night TV because he's too cheap to rent real porn.

    Then again, there isn't much about libertarians that is funny, except their ideas.

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  41. Elaine's dancing represents the elevated level of charisma Libertarians possess which we mere humans are incapable of appreciating.

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  42. coozledad4:18 PM

    Make it shoot FIRE!

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  43. DocAmazing4:36 PM

    Its competitor, Petticoat Junction, wore its anti-Stalinism on its sleeve: "That's Uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow..."

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  44. randomworker4:42 PM

    How about the game show Greed? Stand there like a dork while the smart lady saves your ass again and again by changing your answers to the correct ones. Then stab her right in the guts and take all her money...because Greed!

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  45. Ellis_Weiner4:43 PM

    The Bobby-Ewing's Dream season of Dallas: whatever happened, regardless of the consequences, didn't count, because it took place in an entirely imaginary world.

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  46. Fred Sandford4:46 PM

    The Jeffersons: Libertarian businessman George Jefferson makes a small fortune cleaning other people's laundry.

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  47. montag24:54 PM

    Combat! Plucky warriors for the state, complete with universal healthcare and state-supplied guns root out true fascists from their nests... oh, dear, that's not libertarian at all, is it?

    Never mind.

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  48. Derelict4:58 PM

    If this happened to the Ol' Professor, he'd constantly be in the shop getting lube jobs.

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  49. Derelict4:59 PM

    And, of course, Breezley Bruin as the libertarian hero.

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  50. Derelict5:02 PM

    Gilligan's Island, of course, as previously discussed.
    ]
    And how about The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Talk about the power of the invisible hand!

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  51. mgmonklewis5:07 PM

    B. J. and the Bear (1978-1981). A freelance trucker and his monkey sidekick travel the country, unfettered by the shackles of property tax, OSHA tyranny, or exotic pet laws.

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  52. mgmonklewis5:13 PM

    Manimal (1983). Dr. Jonathan Chase can shape-shift into whatever animal he chooses (much like libertarian arguments), and uses his ability to fight crime (entrepreneurship!). Also, it celebrates freedom from statism and societal rules. Nobody can tell him which phylum he has to be, man!

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  53. BigHank535:18 PM

    What makes you think he isn't already?

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  54. Derelict5:24 PM

    I think this is what George Bush was talking about when he banned stem-cell research. At least, that's the only way his "human-animal hybrid" comment made any sense whatever.

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  55. Derelict5:25 PM

    I would like to take this comment to Tim Horton's. Or Burger King, since that's Canadian too, now.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Jay B.5:30 PM

    Fat Albert. Encouraged self-sufficiency in the ghetto by proving Food Stamps were a statist drag on the economy, as the main character was clearly well-fed.


    Ayn's Kitchen How to serve the homeless in 50 delicious every-day, time-saving recipes.

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  57. gocart mozart5:33 PM

    ACME demonstrates the efficiency of market driven customer service in a world of vigorous tort reform without burdensome and excessive product safety regulations.

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  58. gocart mozart5:40 PM

    Gilligan's Island: a show that demonstrates that white people from all walks of life, rich and non-rich can live comfortably and solve there own problems without government interference. Objective proof that Libertarianism works.

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  59. I used to hang w/ some people who attended Hollywood High w/ Ms. Tilton in the '70s. None of them had anything good to say about her.

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  60. 12 o'clock High: Robert "B-1 Bob" Dornan, 25 appearances.
    Sons of Anarchy: Because.
    P.S: Y'all are jes' awful! I'll never be able to watch telebision again.

    ReplyDelete
  61. whetstone5:50 PM

    I would like to nominate this comment for a Pulitzer Prize for Internet Comments.

    ReplyDelete
  62. DocAmazing5:52 PM

    McMegan's copy of To Serve Man.

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  63. smut clyde6:01 PM

    Wacky Races.
    I would explain why, but the deadline is impending and it's time to walk the cat. Perhaps some reader can oblige.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Jaime Oria6:01 PM

    I beg to differ - Moore's Law clearly can't create a TiVo with the capacity I'd need to record and watch all of these!

    ReplyDelete
  65. mgmonklewis6:14 PM

    [Waylon Jennings voice] "This comment sure got hisself into a whole peck o' trouble now!"

    [fiddle flourish; still shot; cut to commercial]

    ReplyDelete
  66. Added horseshit lists from the common clay I found while determining how many times "B-1 Bob" was on 12 o'cock High:

    http://www.imdb.com/list/ls009188957?ref_=bio_rls_2

    http://www.imdb.com/list/ls053563821?ref_=bio_rls_3

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  67. Does the why involve the character named Clyde?

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  68. I looked at those. Strange that IMDb has no photo for Victoria Jackson.

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  69. tigrismus6:36 PM

    12 o'cock High

    Is it a sundial?

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  70. Those Fat Albert kids were self-sufficient alright. Hey, they made their own ORCHESTRA out of stuff they found in the junkyard.

    Talk about DIY!

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  71. Darn you to heck, I edited that virtually immediately!

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  72. This comment gives us insight beyond insight.

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  73. The Wire (2002-2008).Okay, I just have to quote Morgan from the libertarian Channel 102 classic Gemberling: "What the shit?!?"

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  74. YOU CAD I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT YOU MOOCHER

    um, as to why, um, the Ant Hill Mob ?


    LOOK GEORGE SOROS! *grabs wallet, runs away*

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  75. 12 o'clock High

    Wake 'n' bake

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  76. Strange that IMDb has no photo for Victoria Jackson.

    No soul.

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  77. Yogi Bear: Despite ineffectual authoritarian meddling from federal bureaucrat, inevitably smarter-than-average entrepreneur successfully leverages excess picnic basket capacity.

    ReplyDelete
  78. gocart mozart7:12 PM

    "Gilligan's Island Game Theory and Gay Marriage"
    Nick Gillespie|Mar. 27, 2013 9:04 am

    http://reason.com/blog/2013/03/27/gilligans-island-game-theory-and-gay-mar

    ReplyDelete
  79. gocart mozart7:16 PM

    http://www.rumproast.com/images/uploads/Gilligans_Island_title_card.jpg

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  80. bulletarepeopletoo7:19 PM

    I'm surprised they didn't mention Beverly HiIllbillies. From Wikipedia: Patriarch Jed moves with his family into a mansion next door to his
    banker (Milburn Drysdale, of the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills), in the
    wealthy Beverly Hills, California,
    where he brings a moral, unsophisticated, and minimalistic lifestyle to
    the swanky, sometimes self-obsessed and superficial community.

    ReplyDelete
  81. M. Krebs7:31 PM

    Did you know that the words to the Gilligan's Island theme can be sung to the tune of Amazing Grace? And vice versa? Go ahead, give it try. You know you have to.

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  82. M. Krebs7:36 PM

    Crazy Bob Dornan? Well, fuck me. I did not know that.

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  83. The Sopranos: Local businessman pursuing classic right-libertarian ventures vs. the statists.

    The A-Team: Private-sector mercenaries work outside the law, get results.

    Leverage: Private-sector mercenaries work outside the law, get results.

    Knight Rider: Private-sector mercenary ignores speed limits, gets results.

    Profit: Libertarian hero overcomes the odds in exciting world of unfettered capitalism.

    Everybody Loves Raymond: Satirical metaphor for nanny state. And it has Patricia Heaton in it.

    ReplyDelete
  84. M. Krebs7:40 PM

    Deadwood


    That's all. There's no joke here.

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  85. Yep. Busy beaver acting until he got into the political grift.

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  86. Feel free to upload the worst one you an find. Maybe VJ performing a handstand.

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  87. Megalon8:04 PM

    Not to mention some of the most stilted and unnatural sounding voice performances in history, representing a rebellion against conformity to the collectivizing influence of Big Acting.

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  88. PulletSurprise8:08 PM

    Hee Haw (1969 - 1997): An advanced practicum in how to pander unapologetically and honestly to hayseed sensibilities.

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  89. As Galt is my witness, I somehow missed this objectivistly superior take the first time through. Still, my version is leaner and newer, so it will probably win out in the marketplace of ideas.

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  90. PulletSurprise8:39 PM

    Chappelle's Show: Despite the reverse racism inherent in some of the dialogue, what's most evident from the enduring popularity of this program is that people really enjoy n****r jokes, regardless of race. We will have turned a corner as a society when we as white people are once again freed to tell them ourselves without fear of reprisal. #IHaveADream

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  91. DocAmazing8:39 PM

    Profit is far too honest and unvarnished. The reason crowd would be split between those howling for more and those shuffling and staring at their feet.

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  92. Megalon8:47 PM

    How could no one have mentioned G.I. Joe? The Joes refuse to wear uniforms and don't let the military nanny state try to suppress there unique snowflakeness. Cobra Commander is literally faceless just like THE GOVERNMENT wants us all to be and the Cobra members wear blue, JUST LIKE THE POST OFFICE!

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  93. whetstone8:54 PM

    Wait, excessive word count doesn't win in the marketplace of ideas? I'm taking this copy of Atlas Shrugged back to the store.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Barney Miller: a plucky squad of wisecracking New York detectives shows once and for all that police brutality is an urban myth and that cops are definitely not the brown-shirted Constitution-violating fascists the liberal media wants you to think they are.

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  95. Yogi Bear: Because everybody and his brother knows that the wildlife are always smarter than the government-paid fools who try to manage them.

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  96. Susan of Texas9:29 PM

    And, wrong Profitt. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Profit_(TV_series)

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  97. He obviously had excellent medical care: in and out of the ER in minutes if not seconds, all healed and ready for the next scheme.

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  98. I bow to your superior analysis.

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  99. Le Chifforobe9:39 PM

    I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): A wily free marketer tries to rescue a statist drone from his faith in a massively wasteful government program, but fails despite her good looks and near-miraculous powers of wealth creation.

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  100. BigHank539:50 PM

    Libertarians already live in an entirely imaginary world. Why would they need to look at it on the tube, too?

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  101. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:20 PM

    a list of "The 5 Best Libertarian TV Shows Ever"/i>

    What, again? Tell yez what. You can make a list of all the best Libertarianoid SF books, and all the bestest Libertarian authors thereof, and a great many of them would be on my favorite re-reads list, and buy-on-site list, and I, a card-carring (yeah, I know we don't, shhhhh, OK?) Lefty would not give half a rat's ass, nor even an unspecified portion of a flying fuck. Jeez, people, don't y'all have, I dunno, dryer lint to sort, or something?

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  102. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:44 PM

    Hannibal

    The show that earned the Ayn Rand Seal of Approval

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  103. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:50 PM

    rising to the top of the social order


    While sinking to the bottom of his easy chair...

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  104. Derelict10:57 PM

    Back in the '80s, one of my freelancers lived next door to her. She was a tremendous pain in the ass as a neighbor, but she got even worse when she bought a trampoline "to stay in shape." I'll let the casual observer observe how well that worked.

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  105. Ellis_Weiner11:07 PM

    YOU know that, I know that. I'm just pandering to their televisual "needs." Wasn't that the assignment?

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  106. Warren_Terra11:12 PM

    The A-Team really is the perfect Shmibertarian show:
    1) The protagonists have no (friendly) connections with government, quite the opposite
    2) The government is never the answer to anybody's problem
    3) Whenever the government gets involved, it's to make trouble
    4) All problems do get solved, and via the private sector.
    5) There is no lasting problem of the powerful oppressing the weak, because principled private mercenaries would never sell out their customers.
    6) And when I say all problems do get solved, it's because of guns. Free (unregulated) use of automatic weapons (and sometimes armored vehicles and often explosives) solves the problems. Note that all this gunplay never actually kills anyone, because guns don't kill people.
    7) Also: drugs! Drugs make everything better: they enable Mr. T to fly about the country, and they explain how the shows got written.

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  107. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:16 PM

    I used to buy this stuff in a drugstore in 1959/60. I forget the name, but it was a bubble-blowing kit that consisted of a straw and a tube of modified dark blue or red airplane glue. Modified in that it dried very fast. You put a dab of this shit on the tube and blew--quickly!--in the other end. never got a bubble bigger than 4"-5", unlike the monster on the package. Pull the failed bubble off the end after it was dry, and chew it like gum! Hey, the label didn't say you couldn't. Didn't say anything at all about not getting this crap anywhere near your mouth. If you want to know what it tasted like, put a tiny drop of lacquer thinner on your tongue, because toluene was the main ingredient. In fact, I think that's where I first learned the word Toluene. The taste of Freedom!

    Update! Trying to find the name of this shit, I was reminded of Super Elastic Bubble Plastic, which was supposed to be similar. I remember the name, but by the '70s I was past that kind of toy. Also found out it was/is sold as Magic Plastic in the UK, going back to 1947. Is there anything some asshole won't sell to our kids?

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  108. brewmn11:17 PM

    Happy Days started to suck the minute Fonzie changed out of his beige golf jacket and put on the leather.

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  109. Warren_Terra11:19 PM

    Obviously the correct answer is The Prisoner. The protagonist declares his intention to Go Galt, and the state attempts to make him from a free man into a mere number.


    More humorously, there's MASH: a bunch of wisecracking free spirits overcome The Man to do good and live well. So long as you ignore the context.

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  110. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:19 PM

    Darren McGavin was always one of my favorite not-as-famous-as-he-should-have-been actors...

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  111. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:29 PM

    W.O.G!
    Because there's nobody more oppressed by Big Government (or small government, or pussy cats, or mice, or door knobs, or stairs) than a 3" tall dude...

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  112. I want to be this comment's sycophantic sidekick.

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  113. Jeez, people, don't y'all have, I dunno, dryer lint to sort, or something?

    New Rearden Dryer Lint, with 40% more rape byproducts!

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  114. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:05 AM

    The State Ashcrofted her navel, thus depriving her of her powers...

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  115. Uh oh. Are you saying the show "jumped the shark" before The Fonz jumped the shark?


    And remember that a mere 40 yrs. ago(!) ABC execs wouldn't let him sport an actual black leather motorcycle hoodlum jacket, which is why he had that brown leather aviator's jacket.

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  116. YNWA4051512:52 AM

    "Dr. Jonathan Chase can shape-shift into whatever animal he chooses"


    But usually just into the same three or so. And, that, too is a bit like the libertarian argument: it may seem multi-faceted and varied, but usually amounts to the same old tired sociopathic crap.

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  117. DocAmazing12:57 AM

    "Mr. Hayek won't like it, Yogi..."

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  118. BigHank531:12 AM

    I'm sorry; you're right. The whole idea of trying to find some chunks of popular entertainment (particularly in a media format not widely known for a close relationship with reality) strikes me as such a fool's errand in the first place I find it hard to believe that a grownup actually undertook the task.

    Then again, we are talking about Nick Gillespie.

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  119. AGoodQuestion1:35 AM

    Ooh, I love the idea of Hannibal as a libertarian saga. Lecter is played by an actor from Socialist Denmarkistan,, so it could be seen as the story of an escapee from the failed Scandinavian experiment who comes to America to find true freedom, and maybe teach us a li'l something about it too.

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  120. AGoodQuestion1:41 AM

    Well the show was inspired by Friedrich von Hayek's The Road to Soup Nazism, wasn't it?

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  121. AGoodQuestion1:44 AM

    Has anyone mentioned The Love Boat yet? I'm pretty sure it's a formative influence on the seasteading movement.

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  122. AGoodQuestion1:51 AM

    Mulder was a second-generation bureaucrat from Taxachussets. How much more statist can you get?

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  123. Good Times: This daring show proved that African-Americans are perfectly happy living in poverty, even if some of them have to eat dog food.

    The show also provided a number of mind-opening insights:
    1. Poverty encourages artistic expression.
    2.Interfering housing inspectors deprive people of amusing interactions with a wise-cracking handy man.
    3. Statists aren't needed to stop child abuse.

    Truly this show was "Dy-no-mite!"

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  124. Jaime Oria6:50 AM

    Also, too?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgee3FNiZY4

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  125. Jaime Oria6:56 AM

    À la recherche du temps perdu indeed - if the toluene hadn't carved divots in my brain...

    Seriously - I do remember that crap.

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  126. Donalbain6:58 AM

    That is not a thing. It is not a thing. It never happened.

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  127. Well, I'll be. It DOES work!

    On a related note, I once heard a band cover Purple Haze while singing the lyrics from Green Acres...

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  128. GregMc7:38 AM

    This isn't quite in the spirit of things, but I'd go for LOST: it's pretty compelling and attractive at the start and it certainly seems like it's worth closer study, but it becomes clear that nothing really makes any sense and things contradict each other and it's really just a big mess and then the guy who made it gets put in charge of Star Trek and then Star Wars and what is it with these people why do they never, actually, fail? can't they even fail properly? and why do I keep listening to them? it all just makes me so mad!

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  129. Not to mention it demonstrates that white people and black people can work together under the libertarian rubric (as long as the white dude is in charge). Take that, lib-punks!

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  130. Ashcroft probably thought the whole concept was blasphemous and anti-Christian. I'll bet there's a letter about it to an editor or program director somewhere in his files.

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  131. Hollywood Squares: The market speaks, relegating aging celebrities to a silly quiz show. Phyllis Diller and notorious homosexual Paul Lynde crack wise and show how little they know about the real world, all while sandwiched between commercials for baby diapers, bath soap and other products of consequence to the modern, stay-at-home mom.

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  132. FlipYrWhig8:20 AM

    Got to... hang... on. Losing... my... grip!

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  133. FlipYrWhig8:24 AM

    Ballad meter parlor tricks. You can also do Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner to the tune of Gilligan's Island. And Gilligan's Island to the tune of Where Did You Sleep Last Night.

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  134. A look at how unregulated, free-market competition results in innovation and creative problem solving.

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  135. So long as you ignore the context.


    Since you are discussing libertarians, you repeat yourself.

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  136. Mana Butterfly8:39 AM

    Anyone who says that the Flinstones is the best or even an adequate anything is high on crack.


    The Flintstones has to be the worst cartoon that a large segment of the population unironically liked. Worse than Scooby Doo, worse than Sleeping Beauty, worse than the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, WORSE THAN FAMILY GUY. The fucking Family Guy writer taking over the Flintstones would probably end up making it funnier than the original cartoon, because while I have laughed a few times at Family Guy I have never even cracked a smile at the Flintstones.

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  137. This?

    'Cause, dude, that's obscure.

    (Or has Scientology started a TV show about their enemies?)

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  138. Wait, that was the one I was referring to. Your comment inspired me to Wikipedia disambiguate. Whereupon I discovered The Profit, which ... also apparently fits my description. Whoa.

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  139. Free (unregulated) use of automatic weapons (and sometimes armored vehicles and often explosives) solves the problems.Hey, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a cabbage launcher he assembled in a barn.

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  140. Truly this show was "Dy-no-mite!"Which should be available without government regulation.

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  141. Armando Saldanamora10:28 AM

    Oz: a series that exposes the "underprivileged" as they really are.


    The Sopranos: imaginative entrepreneurs finding loopholes in the system (plus every government intervention ends up tragically).


    Six Feet Under: a small business finds its place in the market. The Invisible Hand is cleverly symbolized here by death.


    Twin Peaks: the dwarf symbolizes the government; the giant represents the captains of industry "going Galt;" the dancing horse is the cultural elite trying to leech from the "makers;" the owls are not what they seem.

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  142. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a stick of TNT is a good guy with a stick of TNT.

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  143. Izzy Wasserstein10:50 AM

    So House of Cards, famous for its contempt for reality, is a libertarian show? You don't say.

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  144. gocart mozart10:51 AM

    Liberal Fascists Nazis are both incompetent wusses and brutal tyrants: just like Obama.

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  145. The Newlywed Game: Free enterprise slut-shaming for men AND women!

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  146. Halloween_Jack11:41 AM

    Star Trek (The Original Series): Those Federation bureaucrats tried to make Kirk care about the Prime Directive, but Kirk went ahead and brought down one stable civilization after another so that these people could go out and, you know, do stuff. What stuff, exactly, wasn't clear, but the crew had a lot of neat gadgets and Kirk got crazy laid all the time so it must have been good. (Not good: The Next Generation, which had an episode in which a robber baronbold entrepreneur/job creator from our age is thawed out and immediately wants to know how his investments are doing, probably dreaming that with the interest rolling over into the principal he probably owns everything now, and Picard gets to tell him, I've got some bad news for you, sunshine...)

    The Beverly Hillbillies: Your modern glibertarian wouldn't go for this right away, as there's too much cornpone, not enough weed, but ultimately, every libertarian aspires to the ranks of the nouveau riche, although they'd take pains to establish that they're classier than that, with all the latest toys.

    Cop Rock: Nobody watched it, so they can claim it was anything they want it to be--ideal.

    Game of Thrones: You just know that the Iron Bank of Braavos is going to be the only institution that will come out on top of things.

    Treme: If you're going to pretend that David Simon is simpatico with your I've-got-mine-Jack worldview, may as well go balls-to-the-wall; throw Homicide: Life on the Street and The Corner in there, too. (You can leave Generation Kill as your secret guilty war porn pleasure.)

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  147. I never thought about Star Trek TOS quite that way, but you're right!


    That sure does put episodes like The Apple and Return of The Archons in a different light.

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  148. susanoftexas12:12 PM

    Serendipity!

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  149. John E Williams12:31 PM

    LOST IN SPACE! In which an entire family Goes Galt in the most literal way possible, escaping an overcrowded planet where democracy as we know it has failed, en route to the nearest habitable planet where one family and one family alone will build a society based on industrious gumption. Of course, this monumental vision is thwarted by the unwelcome presence of a leeching, lying, greedy, lazy, conniving "doctor" who stows away on board the ship and proceeds to hamper and even destroy the Robinsons' Galtian paradise!

    I am not kidding when I say I bet Gillespie and the gang would be sorry they overlooked this one.

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  150. BigHank5312:32 PM

    Oh, I don't know. The fact that all the characters are employees of the State and enjoy (sic) free room and board actually gives them quite a bit in common with modern libertarians.

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  151. ...with a few of the pages stuck together.

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  152. Amazing Grace => Ghost Riders in the Sky

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  153. drkrick1:51 PM

    New Grass Revival?

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  154. Another Kiwi3:10 PM

    Daniel Boone: Frontier entrepreneur fights against imperial and statist troops to carve a living out of the wilderness. AND THERE ARE NO NATIVE AMERICANS except one who went to Oxford.

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  155. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:15 PM

    That be it. Each show started with "WOG! World!...Of!...Giants!", both spoken and in graphics, which I always though was a bit odd...

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  156. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:46 PM

    The Revolution will be fought with Spudguns...

    The Derringer version shoots .450 cal. Freedom Fries...

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  157. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:49 PM

    This was right about the time I discovered rubber-band balsa wood airplanes, and my toy money wouldn't really support both, so the airplanes won...

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  158. Yep, that's the band!

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  159. I don't know, man, sounds like incidental damages to me. Not covered!

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  160. Mana Butterfly4:41 PM

    Game of Thrones: You just know that the Iron Bank of Braavos is going to be the only institution that will come out on top of things.

    I'm rooting for the Iron Bank of Braavos, too. The robber barons are very lucky indeed that they have manorialists, slaveowners, warlords, and other assorted aristocratic shitbirds to make them look good. Ebenezer Scrooge beats Louis XIV every time.

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  161. satch5:59 PM

    "X-Files: Heroic aliens attempt to colonize Earth because "they were doing nothing with it."



    And based upon Ayn Rand's explanation of why the U.S appropriating land from the Indians was totally justified.

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  162. realinterrobang6:41 PM

    And in the end, he was brought down by statist agents seeking to enforce prohibitions on matters which should rightly be outside their jurisdiction, thus proving how the state crushes the true Libertarian man!

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  163. WILL YOU GUYS STOP BEING AWESOME AGAIN

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  164. victory through air power!

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  165. billcinsd9:46 PM

    Pinky and the Brain, 1995-1998


    Galtian Super-mouse Brain continually has his plan's to take over the world and begin a Rand-ian paradise by the stupidity of stupid, hippie liberal Pinky. Brain is then returned to the statist cage keeping Brain in undeserved subservience to his state-funded scientist master's.


    Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
    Pinky: I think so Brain, but isn't Atlas Shrugged the one that doesn't have orcs?

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  166. cleter12:35 AM

    Voyager was basically Captain Dagny Taggart going Galt from the statist Federation.

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  167. billcinsd9:51 AM

    don't forget the 50 page monologue manual

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  168. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:54 PM

    At last, something to read in the laundromat...

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  169. cleter1:31 PM

    Well, the General Lee was a '69 Charger. The General Sherman should be a 69....Lincoln.

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  170. M. Krebs4:31 PM

    But it was way better than the movie.

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  171. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person8:14 PM

    I liked a couple of P&T's shows, gLibertoonianism be damned.

    they tie themselves in knots trying to claim The Wire, et al. for themselves.

    Probably picking nits here, but it seems like what they want is for the shows to claim *them*. Sort of, "See? We're not clueless jerks, there's a famous TV show all about US! We're so cool, and you never knew it!"

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  172. billcinsd9:51 PM

    Also, The House of the Rising Sun

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE4k76VjGdY

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  173. Matthias Neeracher10:22 PM

    Sons of Anarchy: Rugged individualists banded together by voluntary association run a small community largely free from interference by bumbling government representatives. Copious availability of firearms ensures a world full of mutual respect.

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  174. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:47 PM

    And a happy Broderick Crawford Day! (to everyone still this side of midnight).

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