Friday, May 09, 2014

OLD WHINE IN NEW BOTTLES.

I guess you've heard about the latest wingnut-welfare-funded propaganda project, the Heritage Foundation's Daily Signal, and they swear this time it'll be real news:
The site aims to rectify the conservative perception that mainstream news slants to the left. “We plan to do political and policy news,” says [publisher Geoffrey] Lysaught, “not with a conservative bent, but just true, straight-down-the-middle journalism"... 
The past few years have seen a profusion of conservative media outlets... “You often sense there’s an element of preaching to the choir,” says Katrina Trinko, a well-regarded political reporter lured away from National Review to manage the Signal’s news team. “What appealed to me was that our goal is not just to reach that audience. Obviously, we hope conservatives will come. But we hope anyone interested in information and public debate will see us as a trusted news source.”
"Katrina Trinko... to manage the Signal’s news team" is the key phrase here. Trinko has shown up in these pages twice before: Once for suggesting that, instead of passing a higher minimum wage, America should encourage fast-food chains to put out tip jars, and once for explaining that it was unfair to compare Republicans with Randroids because Republicans actually want a safety net run by the Church.

Trinko has also written several articles for our favorite culture-war stakewaster Acculturated, with titles like "What We Lose In Our Child-free Culture." And she has helped make National Review Online what it is; her biggest scoop there was that Elizabeth Warren had plagiarized some book, which showed great ambition and a nose for news even if it turned out not to be true. Most of her other NRO work was stuff like "RNC Makes Two Hires for Outreach to Black Media" and "After Eighty-Three Years of Marriage, Husband and Wife Die Three Days Apart -- though she did get on the homosexuals-are-oppressing-us bandwagon early with "The Gay Marriage Double Standard" last September.

So yeah, she's just the person for the job. And the job is more of the same, with better graphics.

152 comments:

  1. One hopes Ms. Trinko lives by her own advice to others and has foresworn a salary in exchange for working for tips.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Derelict11:48 AM

    Heritage claims the new site will provide news that's "straight down the middle." I can't wait to see their interpretation of that. No doubt it will be expressed with headlines such as "Obama: Big Poopyhead in Chief" and "Why Killing People In Other Countries Will Make Them Love Us."

    And, of course, "Why Teh Blahs Are Stealing All Our Freedoms".

    ReplyDelete
  3. coozledad11:57 AM

    Oh, Gotterdamm it all:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signal_(magazine)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are they going to have cruises?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't you wonder what the "well-regarded political reporter" received as punishment for that blatant libeling of Senator Warren? Maybe a guest pundit slot on Morning Joe?

    When these conservative cheerleaders trip and stumble they always fall up. Wingnut welfare will be the ruin of this country.
    -

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Birth of Yet Another Conservative Website: A Play in One Act


    A: "I'll show you! I'm going to start my own news blog!"


    B: "All right."


    A: "...Wait, aren't you shocked? I mean, just a little? This is a big announcement."


    B: "In what sense? There have to hundreds, maybe thousands of news sites right now. Plus, every asshole and his brother has a blog. I've got three."


    A: "You don't understand! Mine is going to be different!"


    B: "Sure it is, man. Sure it is."


    FIN

    ReplyDelete
  7. Shakezula12:39 PM

    a well-regarded political reporter lured away from National Review to manage the Signal’s news team.

    According to well-regarded reporter Katrina Trinko.

    ReplyDelete
  8. gratuitous12:45 PM

    Epilog

    A: "Gee, writing about stuff every day is hard! And nobody's paying me for this. The only responses my deathless prose attracts are poopy-headed libruls making fun of me for getting facts wrong. This isn't fun anymore . . ."

    ReplyDelete
  9. mgmonklewis12:51 PM

    [exeunt omnes, with alarums. FAAART]

    ReplyDelete
  10. I for one applaud Ms. Trinko's efforts to seek accord with the hippie moochers for Satan.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Derelict1:04 PM

    Thinking about it some more, I also wonder just how they'll cover the numerous stories where "reality has a liberal bias." There's only so many days you can headline BENGHAZI!!!!12134!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. DocAmazing1:04 PM

    If they're going to start a publication called Signal, they may need to pay royalties:



    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signal_%28magazine%29

    ReplyDelete
  13. Derelict1:06 PM

    What makes you think they didn't buy the name? After all, any publication of the Third Reich is bound to be well received by conservatives.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Brian Schlosser1:10 PM

    Pretty sure they already have the trademark for Der Sturmer

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jaime Oria1:11 PM

    What could possibly go wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Brian Schlosser1:12 PM

    606 days and counting for Fox News...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Brian Schlosser1:17 PM

    Yeah, every Friday night. Starts at Cobalt, then the Green Lantern, Larry's Lounge, the Bachelors Mill, and ending at Club Hippo

    ReplyDelete
  18. Brian Schlosser1:20 PM

    I suspect the Signal to noise ratio will be very, very low.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jay B.1:42 PM

    So the Heritage Foundation 'lured' someone away from the National Review in order to do "straight-down-the-middle journalism" — It's like hearing that someone went from Izvestia to Pravda because Stalin was tired of reaching the same old peasants.

    ReplyDelete
  20. KatWillow1:44 PM

    I'd give this comment a 50% tip any day!

    ReplyDelete
  21. KatWillow1:46 PM

    There's a ship rigged & waiting for them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFr1Zpjwvx0

    ReplyDelete
  22. Spaghetti Lee1:47 PM

    “You often sense there’s an element of preaching to the choir,”

    By day, she is mild-mannered reporter Katrina Trinko, but by night, she is...Captain Obvious!

    ReplyDelete
  23. mortimer20001:57 PM

    Heritage already has The Foundry, whose managing editor is the "lured away" Katrina Trinko, and who will be "moving" to the The Signal along with several other Foundry editors and staff, surprise surprise. A look at The Foundry site will give you some idea how "fair and balanced" the new one will be. Especially since...
    Heritage is betting that these readers, attracted to the Daily Signal’s news, will find themselves persuaded by the conservative commentary and analysis that will draw on the think tank’s scholars[sic] and researchers[sic].

    Trinko: But we hope anyone interested in information and public debate will see us as a trusted news source.

    Howzabout a slogan for that? Something credible like "We report, you decide." Is that one taken?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank NRA JESUS!

    I am sick and tired of having the news forced down my throat by those LIEBERALS at the Washington Post.

    You know...Fred Hiatt, Jackson Diehl, Charles Krauthammer, George Fucking Will, Michael Gerson, Marc Thiessen, Charles Lane, Jennifer Rubin, etc.
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  25. Bizarro Mike2:21 PM

    What could possibly go right?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hovercraft Full of Eels2:23 PM

    I'm looking forward to their big investigative series, "Obama: Worse Than Hitler, or Much Worse Than Hitler?"

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jay B.2:28 PM

    So they lied in their first press release about luring Trinko in the first place? That's a neat trick.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Gromet2:30 PM

    I look forward to their "straight up the middle" coverage of global warming.


    Fact: 99% of scientists agree it's a thing; 1% dissent, coincidentally while in the employ of oil companies.


    Fact as Reported by the Signal: "Although perhaps a majority of career scientists in the university system are adherents to the 'global warming' theory, many prominent, rugged individualist scientists suggest it is a sham built on faked evidence, guesswork, and communism."

    ReplyDelete
  29. BigHank532:31 PM

    In order to be a conservative, the first person you have to start lying to is yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  30. mortimer20002:37 PM

    So they lied in their first press release about luring Trinko in the first place?
    Certainly looks that way. Color us shocked.

    ReplyDelete
  31. There's only so many days you can headline BENGHAZI!!!!12134!!!

    "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but
    actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... timey wimey... stuff."

    ReplyDelete
  32. To line up with the latest fervent talking points, there's gotta be a mention of how it's a cult.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hey, that's not fair. What part of "straight down the middle" are you not understanding? "Obama: Moderately Worse Than Hitler."

    ReplyDelete
  34. Glock H. Palin, Esq.2:54 PM

    "The site aims to rectify the conservative perception that mainstream news slants to the left."


    Yeah, sure, and De Beers is keenly interested in eliminating the artificial scarcity of diamonds. Tapping into conservatives' unwarranted sense of marginalization is what puts food on your family.



    Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

    ReplyDelete
  35. “We plan to do political and policy news,” says [publisher Geoffrey]
    Lysaught, “not with a conservative bent, but just true,
    straight-down-the-middle journalism"...



    Straight-down-the-middle... we provide both the GOP establishment and the Tea Party perspectives!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Jay B.2:56 PM

    There's also a simple matter of perception of what constitutes observable reality and what lives inside the fevered head of a conservative:

    “What Ezra is doing has got a wild liberal bias to it,” he says. “When we talk about the news, we’re just laying out the facts. We think that’s an important educational mission.”

    What I once thought was devious cynicism is actually a complete lack of intelligence and self-awareness.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Glock H. Palin, Esq.2:56 PM

    Country and Western!

    ReplyDelete
  38. You often sense there’s an element of preaching to the choir,” says
    Katrina Trinko, a well-regarded political reporter lured away from
    National Review to manage the Signal’s news team.


    The phrase "well-regarded political reporter lured away from
    National Review" is about as accurate as "well-regarded purveyor of tainted meats" or "well-regarded bath-salts addict". I wonder how they "lured" her away from National Review... they probably promised her that she wouldn't have to share an office with a flatulent lout that smells like a dirty gym sock.

    ReplyDelete
  39. "[W]ell-regarded" and "National Review" can never be in the same sentence or it might tear a hole in the space/time continuum.

    For that matter, neither can "reporter" and "National Review"...

    ReplyDelete
  40. ADHDJ3:10 PM

    They just call them as they see them -- (purity) balls and (the evils of) strikes.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Come for the fake news, stay for the calumnious opinion!

    ReplyDelete
  42. TG_Chicago3:12 PM

    Good golly. I just yesterday came across another newz site called The Daily (Something) and was thinking that name convention was as played out as calling a movie "American (Something)". Now this!


    I mean, you've already got (or had) the Daily Dish, the Daily Caller, the Daily Beast, the Daily Dot, the Daily Howler, the Daily Download, Daily Kos, and even The Daily. And that's just listing national news-based websites (we'd go on forever if I included tv shows and local papers).


    Can't somebody think of a new adjective?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Derelict3:15 PM

    The Quotidinal Conservative?

    The Diurnal Derp?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Derelict3:18 PM

    Geez, I always figured it would end at Sobbing Masturbation.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Bizarro Mike3:41 PM

    Well, there's still the Daily American and the American Daily up for grabs, right? Also Big America, Big Daily ... Daily Big, American Big. A few more terms and the combinatorial explosion should support wingnut welfare sites until the end of civilization.

    It is helped along by the fact that the end of civilization will come about slightly sooner due to the proliferation of wingnut welfare sites.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I say Yesterday Benghazi, Today Benghazi, Tomorrow Benghazi--Benghazi FOOOOREVER!

    ReplyDelete
  47. XeckyGilchrist3:52 PM

    Everything. Far, far right.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Spaghetti Lee3:59 PM

    Way things are going soon it'll be 'hourly' instead of 'daily'.

    ReplyDelete
  49. This is good. These people think that they can make inroads with the kids if they only get the same old message (of course!) out to them in the right fashion. Pretty much matches their approach to 'outreach' to women and minorities. I'm beginning to sense a pattern....

    ReplyDelete
  50. JennOfArk4:09 PM

    This is of a piece with the larger problem for conservatives, which is that they've already cornered something approaching 100% of the old white Christian bigot crowd. Just as the GOP puts all its hopes on rebranding, you can just picture the brain trust at Heritage sitting around the conference table, brainstorming on ways to grow the audience for conservative media. They've got Fox, they've got AM radio, they've got newspapers, websites, astroturf campaigns...but somehow, 60 - 70% of the sheeple are still outside their grasp. "I know!," says one of the Heritage Fellows, "let's start a new news website with the same content, but promote it as being unbiased and non-partisan!" Thus following the same failed strategy that the GOP has already pioneered. Like Jon Stewart said the other night, they think the problem with Benghazi is that we just don't know about it; if we did, we would care; by the same token, the reason not everyone buys conservative BS is that they just haven't heard the BS.


    These guys remind me of nothing so much as an incident that happened when I was a kid. My sister got into the cookies and was sitting at the table smashing them to bits when my dad came into the kitchen (I wasn't in there, but I heard it go down). "KATE! What are you doing? Why are you smashing up the cookies?" Kate, tearfully: "I was trying to make MORE!" Dad: "THAT'S ALL THE COOKIES THERE ARE! YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY MORE BY SMASHING THEM UP!" Kate, sobbing: "I just wanted to make MORE!" Etc, etc.


    That's what they're doing here. They're trying to make more. If you build it, they will come. And apparently if you write it, they will believe it.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I dunno. You have to appreciate their media savvy, and encourage such efforts on their part. Of course, the best way to encourage such idiocy on their part is to tell them you're deathly afraid of their new project. So, in that vein:

    Ohhhhh, noooo, Mr. Bill!! Eeeekkkk!!! The Heritage Foundation is going to start putting out hip news!!! Oh, woe is me!!! This might be just as devastating to us liberals as the conservative "Daily Show" has been!!!

    ReplyDelete
  52. XeckyGilchrist4:15 PM

    I think on Twitter they've got it up to "secondly", shooting for "continuous."

    ReplyDelete
  53. I'm reminded of the "Simpsons" episode in which, to bolster "Itchy and Scratchy" ratings, the suits introduce a new character based entirely on marketing trends:

    "Now rastify him by ten percent."

    ReplyDelete
  54. Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Click through to the Business Week article, and look at the photo of the Daily Signal Action Team Squad at the top.


    "Now pencilneck the guys by ten percent. Okay, now make 'em whiter ... whiter ... There. Is there a way we can make it seem like the woman is almost an afterthought? You know, have the pencilneck assholes only have eyes for each other, or something? ... Perfecto! Now let's go attract us some racist misogynist whitebread conservatives with no ability to distinguish facts from the same shit in a different box we're offering, and watch our voter base grow 10,000 percent!"

    ReplyDelete
  56. BigHank534:34 PM

    "Opinions differ on Obama's Hitlerness as Republicans stage final attempt to rescue USA from socialist annihilation."

    ReplyDelete
  57. JennOfArk4:47 PM

    “A lot of the traditional media, they’re lazy,” says Lysaught. “When they get up in the morning, they’re looking for what’s already working. I think they’ll look to us. We want to be the place where the news gets its news, drive that news narrative by identifying real stories, doing the homework, and let those guys run with the work we’ve already done.”

    Heritage staff offer examples including the Internal Revenue Service audits of political groups; the recent Supreme Court case Sebelius vs. Hobby Lobby Stores, which touched on religious liberty issues; and the emerging debate about Common Core academic standards. Bluey notes that Heritage’s current blog, the Foundry, produced a steady stream of negative stories about Debo Adegbile, Obama’s nominee to head the U.S. Department of Justice’s civil rights division, that eventually led to front-page coverage in the Washington Post. Adegbile’s nomination later failed in the Senate. That story is the model for how Heritage, without taking an overtly conservative position, can nonetheless inject its worldview into the mainstream press.



    Shorter: "We wanna be Drudge."

    ReplyDelete
  58. Jimmy Dore, the comedian, has a great line when it comes to rebanding the GOP. "It's not like they have a great candy bar whose name is cancer. They have a really crappy product."

    ReplyDelete
  59. drspittle5:26 PM

    Where did you get that quotation from Chuck Todd?

    ReplyDelete
  60. smut clyde5:30 PM

    a conservative bent
    Good choice of words there.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Jay B.5:48 PM

    Always Asshole, Today in the Inquisition, Sunrise Patriot, Sunset Townie, Drone Strikes, The NRYay, The Martyr Times-Picayune, The Minuteman, Ace's Rampant Misogyny, Rape Culture Now, BroTips and The Washington Post

    ReplyDelete
  62. Guest5:54 PM

    They won't be happy til they usurp The Daily Show.


    They will never be happy.

    ReplyDelete
  63. KatWillow5:59 PM

    "Straight-down-the-middle" is NOT journalism. They're confusing objectivity and facts with "balance".

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ellis_Weiner6:08 PM

    ...from The Heritage Foundation: the name you trust in unbiased, objective...ah, fuck it. Never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Ellis_Weiner6:15 PM

    “Like Vox and 538, we’re purposely branding ourselves
    not as a blog but a standalone site,” says Robert Bluey, who directs
    Heritage’s Center for Media and Public Policy and will be the Signal’s editor-in-chief.


    I know I'm the last person who should be making jokes about people's names, but is it too much to hope that Rob Bluey's middle name is Kah?

    ReplyDelete
  66. Ellis_Weiner6:19 PM

    "Heritage staff offer examples including the Internal Revenue Service
    audits of political groups; the recent Supreme Court case Sebelius vs.
    Hobby Lobby Stores, which touched on religious liberty issues; and the
    emerging debate about Common Core academic standards."


    :"We hope to expand our coverage of mainstream, important stories, and bring to them the same hard-hitting standards for accuracy and unbiased evenhandedness we brought to those stories," said Heritage staffer Connor Dipshit. "Stories like 'Obama's High School GPA: Fraud or Deception?' and 'Obamacare's Death Rattle' and 'Hawaii: How Much is it Really a State?'"

    ReplyDelete
  67. JennOfArk6:31 PM

    Too perfect.

    Signal was published by the German Wehrmacht from 1940 - 1945. It was a modern, glossy, illustrated photo journal and army propaganda tool, meant specifically for audiences in neutral, allied, and occupied countries.



    h/t to otherjimintampa in comments at TBogg's

    ReplyDelete
  68. M. Krebs6:34 PM

    It's so crazy, it just might work!

    ReplyDelete
  69. M. Krebs6:40 PM

    Hey, "The Daily SKREE!" does have a nice ring to it.

    ReplyDelete
  70. M. Krebs6:45 PM

    Reminds me of the brief story line from Hill Street Blues about a shitty comic named Vic Hitler.

    ReplyDelete
  71. M. Krebs6:48 PM

    And Doc Amazing upstream. But that's okay, it's worth repeating.

    ReplyDelete
  72. smut clyde6:50 PM

    aims to rectify the conservative perception that mainstream news slants to the left
    If the goal is to rectify their mistaken perception, why not just medicate the conservatives and not bother everyone else? Cheaper, I would have thought.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Interesting, seeing as the Foundry describes the Daily Signal as a "rebranding" rather than an entirely new project. So the question is: Are they going to change the content dramatically, or stick with such "straight-down-the-middle" posts as "Well, I Guess Obama Hasn't Healed the Planet," which is about how addressing climate change is going to destroy the economy.


    On the other hand, they do have a nice post about horsies. That's pretty unobjectionable, right?

    ReplyDelete
  74. JennOfArk6:58 PM

    Oops. Reposted downstream after failing to click the linkee.

    ReplyDelete
  75. randomworker6:59 PM

    At NRO they truly believe that the majority of Americans share their views. If you show them any evidence that their views are not popular, they ban you. Trinko actually did get crap from the rabid regulars over there if she ever wrote something against dogma. It may have helped her decide to take off. But yeah, the whole thing is a joke. How many web outlets does their dying movement need?

    ReplyDelete
  76. Hey, you know what kids these days like? Fedoras, that's what they like!

    ReplyDelete
  77. If the majority of Americans shared their views, they wouldn't have to go begging for donations every single week.

    ReplyDelete
  78. randomworker7:05 PM

    hehe

    ReplyDelete
  79. XeckyGilchrist7:06 PM

    I dunno. One of their views is that only suckers pay for anything.

    ReplyDelete
  80. XeckyGilchrist7:07 PM

    When did the fedora become the Misogynist Dickweed Hat? Is that because of Drudge, too?

    ReplyDelete
  81. LittlePig7:45 PM

    No doubt from this morning's Daily Dumbdown.

    ReplyDelete
  82. LittlePig7:45 PM

    The Stand In The Green Room Door

    ReplyDelete
  83. If you show them any evidence that their views are not popular, they ban you.


    If you just disagree with them, they ban you. "And never is heard a discouraging word...."

    ReplyDelete
  84. drspittle8:54 PM

    Or the Sycophant Sentinel.

    ReplyDelete
  85. redoubtagain9:18 PM

    "Send rumor and innuendo about the Obama Administration to:
    'Hurricane' Katrina Trinko
    c/o America's Conservative Drink Think Tank
    Benghazi, NY 12134"

    ReplyDelete
  86. KatWillow9:20 PM

    I suppose they could point out that global warming occurs only in the summer?

    ReplyDelete
  87. M. Krebs9:21 PM

    It's for people who want more than the weekly "SKREE! the Nation" and too busy to keep up with "Headline SKREE!" or with STV, the 24-hour SKREE! network. "All day, all night, all SKREE!"

    ReplyDelete
  88. TGuerrant9:22 PM

    If only she can, in turn, lure in one of my Heritage favs, Herr Lederhosen himself, Hans von Spakovsky.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Derelict9:56 PM

    Believe me when I say that I'm in love with this comment and want to share my mansion and yacht with it.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Derelict10:01 PM

    I find your views interesting and would like to learn more about your newsletter.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Tehanu10:13 PM

    "Hippie
    Moochers for Satan" is so going to be the name of my next band.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume11:04 PM

    Accompanied by her faithful sidekick, KowTow!

    ReplyDelete
  93. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:36 PM

    I say we googlebomb the fuck out of the site when it goes live...

    ReplyDelete
  94. Another Kiwi12:49 AM

    Sobbing Masturbation have sold out. Their second album "Ideological Hateboner" was sooo drivative.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Another Kiwi12:50 AM

    There's probably a tip jar at NRO but, you know, Jonah and Krispy Cremes.

    ReplyDelete
  96. the words "wild" and Ezra Klein should never be in the same sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  97. ColBatGuano1:15 AM

    Basically less skree and more plutocracy than Fox News.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Jon Hendry1:20 AM

    The Morning Movement?

    ReplyDelete
  99. a flatulent lout that smells like a dirty gym sock

    That's a pretty interesting characterization of K-Lo.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Brian Schlosser2:46 AM

    They're #1 in #2

    ReplyDelete
  101. Brian Schlosser2:51 AM

    Its a trilllllllbyyyyyyyyyyy!

    Bogart - fedora
    Douchebag- trilby

    ReplyDelete
  102. stepped_pyramids6:31 AM

    Epilogue, cot'd


    *clackety clack* "You Won't Believe The Twelve Ways This One Liberal Destroys America - Conservatives HATE This"

    ReplyDelete
  103. Daniel Björkman7:12 AM

    I suppose we can all agree on the horsies.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Ezra would probably agree with you.

    ReplyDelete
  105. "Skree TV, where the decibels matter! Turn us up!"

    ReplyDelete
  106. Jaime Oria8:19 AM

    "Mummy, why is that strange man trying to hypnotize a hat?"

    ReplyDelete
  107. Jaime Oria8:26 AM

    Completely off-topic, but I've always associated skreeeeeeeee with the sound you hear when you pick up the phone and a fax machine (remember those?) has been dialed to your number. Here's what happened when a fax machine call went to an answering service with voice to text transcription -

    ReplyDelete
  108. dmsilev10:02 AM

    "We propose to capture wild Ezra Kleins to cross-breed with domesticated specimens with the intent of reducing the undesirable byproducts of inbreeding which have developed over the last several generations."

    ReplyDelete
  109. Marion in Savannah10:12 AM

    My guess is that they'll hang on for another 60 days and expect all the evil libruls to be grabbed up by Satan, called by day 666 of BENGHAZI!!11!!!

    ReplyDelete
  110. Marion in Savannah10:16 AM

    Are they dancing horsies?

    ReplyDelete
  111. BigHank5310:47 AM

    How many web outlets does their dying movement need?

    How many can they get a deluded billionaire to pay for?

    Exactly that many.

    ReplyDelete
  112. XeckyGilchrist10:58 AM

    Aha, OK. I don't know from hats - I look terrible in all of them.

    ReplyDelete
  113. StringOnAStick11:46 AM

    And now Colbert's CC spot is going to Larry Wilmore, a witty and liberal black guy. The butthurt is going to be HUGE.

    ReplyDelete
  114. cleter11:46 AM

    Eternal Skree.


    Or, if you want to give it a 60s Jack Kirby/Stan Lee vibe, you could call the THE SKREE ETERNAL, and you could just have pictures of Obama as Black Galactus wrecking stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Derelict1:34 PM

    Just wait until the launch their moving-pictures production company. I hear they already have a script under development. The working title is "The Eternal Liberal."

    ReplyDelete
  116. Derelict1:37 PM

    "Unless we all conform and blindly follow our leaders, we can never truly be free."

    Maj. Frank Burns

    ReplyDelete
  117. Derelict1:39 PM

    They could have wiped the competition, but it's hard to beat The Morning Wood, a real up-and-comer.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Derelict1:40 PM

    And my crystal ball sez the first conservative reaction to the first show he does will be, "He's the real racist because he pointed out racism!"

    ReplyDelete
  119. Mooser1:56 PM

    The problem of course, is getting the deluded billionaire to keep his, or her, mouth shut, but that can be dealt with. "You don't want to end up like Sterling, do you?" should work.
    Ah, it may be a new bottle, but they are vintage whines.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Snarll3:31 PM

    It's perfect as is. Bob Bluey. Bobby Bluey. BobbaBlooey!

    ReplyDelete
  121. There are no wild Ezra Kleins. Its a myth. They exist only in captivity and without inbreeding they wouldn't be the way they are. You can't get back to Teosinte by backbreeding corn, either.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Derelict5:03 PM

    Sure, but only for the northern half of the globe.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Derelict5:08 PM

    Actually, it sounds more like just another group you might encounter on the subway in NYC--they're patrolling the cars along with the Krishnas and the Jews for Jesus people.

    ReplyDelete
  124. LittlePig5:15 PM

    "You don't want to end up like Sterling, do you?" should work

    with the majority of them.

    There will continue to be the "Do You Know Who The Hell I Am" folks starring in When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:37 PM

    Kenneth, or Kevin, or Karl, or Keith would do nicely...

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  126. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:39 PM

    But they also wanna win the morning, like those kool kidz at TBOTP...

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  127. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:49 PM

    Hello dad, I'm in jail
    Hello dad, I'm in jail
    Hi dad, I'm calling you from jail
    Hi dad, happy birthday I'm in jail
    Jail jail hi dad
    All those years, I'm in jail now
    I'm in jail, I'm in jail, I'm in jail, I like it here
    It's nice, I like it, hello dad I'm in jail
    Hello, hello dad hi, I'm in jail
    Say hi to mom from jail
    I'm in jail, I'm gonna stay here I like it here
    I like it yeah, throw away the key
    I'm in jail, hello dad, I'm in jail
    Hello dad, hi dad I'm in jail
    Jail jail jail jail

    ReplyDelete
  128. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:50 PM

    "No Squee None of the Time!"

    ReplyDelete
  129. AGoodQuestion10:46 PM

    I thought Breitbart.com already had the "Poochie of the conservative media" title covered.

    ReplyDelete
  130. AGoodQuestion10:51 PM

    I guess there's a vague sense even on the right that "fair and balanced" has become a punch line, which is why they went with "straight down the middle" instead.

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  131. montag210:57 PM

    I'm still thankful that virtually everything they come up with to attract conservative eyeballs is eminently (and easily) satirized.

    The Daily Signal is no different. I'm sure that "Crossed Signals" will appear shortly along with other variants, just as soon as The Foundry's The Signal's particular means of choking the life out of the news becomes apparent.

    Does the masthead say, "Cecil B. DeMint Production?"

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  132. AGoodQuestion11:19 PM

    Nah. Sounds too much like The Daily Squee. I'd be pissed if I got a wingnut welfare site when I was expecting pictures of baby ocelots.

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  133. freq flag11:24 PM

    To the dismay of many on The Left. Also.

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  134. freq flag11:38 PM

    How many web outlets does their dying movement need?
    All of them, Katie, all of them.

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  135. My spider sense tells me that Roy is going to have a field day with the post Michael Sam draft wingnut skreesplosion.

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  136. Strange thing about the Rightwing view of society: they seem to believe that a majority of people share their views, while at the same time they see themselves as a persecuted minority.

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  137. I like that analogy. Poor Kate!

    Apparently there's a stage of cognitive development where a broken cookie really does seem like more than an unbroken one. There's a funny GIF that illustrates this here:
    http://imgur.com/gallery/BGEedbu



    (I wish I knew how to embed the GIF itself so that it would play on this page, but I don't.)

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  138. They'd be a majority if it weren't for those librul media outlets like CBS, ABC, MSNBC, etc., that confuse people by presenting the truth instead of conservative propaganda.

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  139. Derelict10:20 AM

    You must understand the way wingnuts view the world: As long as there is a single voice that disagrees--no matter how slightly or subdued--then conservatives are utterly oppressed and being persecuted beyond the bounds of reason.

    This explains why people like Looney Louie Gohmert can characterize a letter to the editor as being exactly like the Holocaust.

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  140. J Neo Marvin12:08 PM

    It'll cost you.

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  141. XeckyGilchrist3:25 PM

    I just came by here checking for it! Sure it's Sunday, and Mother's Day, and all that, but that's gotta be a four-alarm stop-the-presses skreefest. Gay NFL guy = Gayz in ur base killin ur d00ds.

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  142. LittlePig5:55 PM

    I'd like to take this comment to a nice dinner and give it an overpriced diamond.

    ReplyDelete
  143. AngryWarthogBreath9:20 PM

    Twelve Weird Ways.

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  144. AngryWarthogBreath9:23 PM

    Are they really doing a new script for that? I thought they were just adapting the Protocols of the Elders of Soros.

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  145. billcinsd12:04 AM

    Cut-Me-Own-Throat Trinko

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  146. billcinsd12:39 AM

    Obama -- straight down the middle of Stalin and Hitler

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  147. edroso9:55 AM

    I had other fish to fry. Plus I'm almost scared to look.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:53 PM

    It was years after listening to/watching the Lone Ranger, in Spanish class in high school, in fact, that I learned that "tonto" is Spanish for "stupid". To this day I wonder if anyone on the production staff knew that...

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  149. http://www.plusmovies.org/

    ReplyDelete