These people are full of shit.
My favorite is Da Tech Guy, who last month bewailed the violation of Eich's Constitutional right to be CEO of Mozilla without the support of his board of directors ("the removal of Mr. Eich was done without threats of violence, but rest assured those days are not far away... If I was a young ambitious lawyer looking for a big payday and publicity I’d find a few Christians in companies like this willing to sue for the creation of a 'hostile work environment'"), but is now delighted that the Black Mass was chased off-campus by Catholics. Best part:
A postscript: As we drove to my car at Alewife Station [Mary Ann Harold] related that as she sat down in the then empty church she saw an apparition of the head of Satan appear over and to the left of the altar over the church. The head was disfigured and was screaming in pain and anger.
Given the results of the night, that was completely understandable.Maybe these are the victories they will celebrate now that they can't win elections. (If you hear of any contrarian conservatives sticking up for the Satanists, please let me know in comments.)
UPDATE. Professor Bainbridge steps up.
Given the results of the night, that was completely understandable.
ReplyDelete"The results of the night," eh? Is that how the young people refer to dropping acid nowadays? Or is Da Tech Guy referring obliquely to Mary Ann Harold suffering a severe concussion earlier in the evening? Perhaps they were driving to Alewife Station following a night course in how to be a laughably flagrant liar? Which seems like it would be a waste of money for this crew, but I digress.
Hmmm, let's run the checklist:
ReplyDeleteW - White, ok so far
A - Anglo, mostly
S - Saxon ,so so
P - whoopsie!
Free speech is for the right people only. Application denied.
Given these folks are the courtiers of the oligarchy, aw, hell, just the fact that they are conservatives, means that they are allied with the authoritarians. They will be Told who has rights and who does not, and That will be That.
If a conservative came out in favor of Satan, it might give the whole game away, no?
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering whether Datechguy is in fact the techguy who has a computer fixit service near me. Creepy.
ReplyDeleteIf I was a young ambitious lawyer looking for a big payday and publicity I’d find a few Christians in companies like this willing to sue for the creation of a 'hostile work environment.'
ReplyDeleteALL YOUR TORT REFORM ARE BELONG TO US!
~
This whole crazy happened basically in my neighborhood. Its ludicrous but it certainly resonates with the remnants of the local catholic community which is sick and tired of having to explain away the pedophilia and corruption of its own hierarchy and gladly turns itself towards the warming sun of resentment politics. Again and at last and eternally to be despised by someone! To push back from the position of victimization! How refreshing after ceasing to matter politically and after failing to answer for the actual crimes of our own membership.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course...
ReplyDeletehttp://mind-exchange.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Face-Of-Satan-Seen-Over-US-Capitol-Weekly-World-News-January-4-2000.jpg
~
The head was disfigured and was screaming in pain and anger.
ReplyDeleteA selfie I just took:
Doubt it, he "blegs" harder than the entire NRO staff- even has a "thermometer" icon on his site.
ReplyDeleteThe greatest trick the authoritarians ever pulled was convincing the world that the devil exists.
ReplyDeleteThese Baggers are pitchforked in the head.
ReplyDeleteIf I'd had to live with Cardinal Law for a few years I'd be relieved to find Satan, too.
ReplyDeleteLikewise. And now, with the Supremes deciding that prayer to open government functions is A-Okay (I guess, as long as it's the right kind of prayer from the right kind of people, ya know), even simple parish-pump affairs will now devolve into great ceremonial set-pieces.
ReplyDeleteWe start with the prayer, followed by the Pledge of Allegiance. Then we'll all sing the Star Spangled Banner. We can follow that with an invocation, and then . . . .
"But all I want is a building permit to add a deck to my back porch!"
She saw Satan howling in pain? Over this bullshit?!?!?
ReplyDeleteI can only guess that they think Satan is made of the same stuff they are.
For someone like Jonah, a hemorrhoid would put him into a coma. I kinda think the Lord of Darkness is a bit more resistant to pain.
Frivolous lawsuit: Any lawsuit filed by someone not in the upper-ranks of wingnut. For example, suing Yale University because you tripped on your way up to the dais would be a frivolous lawsuit--unless your last name is Bork.
ReplyDeleteYou do? You're older than you look, then.
ReplyDeleteThe revelation that even the Kenyan Pretender's Muslimatude is not as great a threat to America as Satanism is crucial at this point in time as the exposure of Hillary Clinton as a 6th level Illuminati witch earlier this year has been covered up by the God-hating liberal media.
ReplyDeleteAnd people have been forced to forget former FBI agent Gary Aldrich's bravery in revealing how she defiled the White House Christmas trees by hanging condoms, cock rings, drug paraphernalia, and Satanic symbols on them.
Proof is everywhere:
http://s28.postimg.org/bvjzsc8z1/hillary_clinton_witch.jpg
Maybe he has to bleg because his entire technical knowledge is limited to how to get a Blogger account and "Did you try turning it off and turning it back on?"
ReplyDeleteSlow news day, I guess.
ReplyDeleteAlthouse has added her 2 cents worth (literally). I got a good chuckle out of her list of tags at the end: "education, Harvard, law, religion, Satan."
ReplyDeleteVince Foster: Murdered to cover up secrets, or as a blood sacrifice?
ReplyDeleteOR BOTH?
The Satanic Panic is just coming around again, like it does every 20 years or so. I just hope this time, we don't see as many innocent D&D players and Day Care workers sent to prison.
ReplyDeleteOne wonders what the Bat Boy thinks about this situation. Being from Ecuador, its a good chance he's Catholic
ReplyDeleteThese are the same Satanists building the aaaa-MAY-zing statue of Baphomet for the Oklahoma State House lawn. I can not WAIT to see the rhetorical knots that will be tied by the Brethren when it comes time to install that baby.
ReplyDelete"[Mary Ann Harold] related that as she sat down in the then empty church
ReplyDeleteshe saw an apparition of the head of Satan appear over and to the left
of the altar over the church."
M'self, I think this ability of religious wingnuts to hallucinate on command deserves further intensive study. If they can do it, so can we, and wouldn't that save some bodacious amount of money otherwise spent on drugs?
I mean, most of us would love to see karl Rove's face melting, but to be able to free of charge: priceless.
That list makes sense to me.
ReplyDelete~
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sJu3aEVh2fE/UKGGhyoPKlI/AAAAAAAAAC0/jMahyrpT9yU/s1600/385.jpg
ReplyDelete~
Uh, yes.
ReplyDeleteThese are people who believe DisneyWorld is gonna get wiped out by a hurricane because they were nice to gay people.
As I pointed out to one of them once after someone made the mistake of putting me on an email list so I got the whinefest email about how Christians should have the right to take over the microphone at their high school football games for opening prayers, a God that can only hear your prayers if they are broadcast over loudspeakers ain't much of a God. And that kind of display wouldn't be necessary for a person of genuine faith, which indicates that the whole thing was prompted by a few people who wanted to prove to everyone how pious they were, and to do it, wanted to co-opt public property for their advertising campaign.
Same thing here, not only with Lord Satan "howling in pain" because some low-intellect fuckwits interrupted a celebration of his glory. Congratulations, fuckwits! You managed to defeat an entity lacking even the power of your average two-year-old, who can throw a tantrum that REALLY grabs attention. Quite an accomplishment!
Hey, I'm a believer. I know Satan exists. Need proof? Just have a quick look at the NSA, the CIA and the FBI.
ReplyDeleteAHHHH!!! That's the book my 1990s uber-conservative roommate loved so much! The one by the FBI guy with all the BS about sex toys on the Christmas tree!
ReplyDeleteIt's a pretty fantastic statue.
ReplyDeleteIt's more of a function of living in the Northeast- the Catholicism I was raised in involved where you went on Sunday mornings and what you didn't eat on Friday nights, with a lot of hand-waving away of things like birth-control. I didn't know too many Protestants growing up, and there was a "you don't talk about your religion and we won't talk about ours" with our Jewish friends and neighbors.
ReplyDeleteThe one exception was holidays- doubling up was always good... you come over for Hanukkah, we'll stop by on Christmas. It was all about the food and good cheer, then.
Missing the breasts, tho, as Colbert pointed out. Perhaps out of respect for public nudity laws?
ReplyDeleteEven the Satanists are co-opted by the patriarchy!
ReplyDeleteAnd, no doubt, Judas Priest is thinking, "aow, fuck me to tears. Not again."
ReplyDeleteThis is the best "demon" related item in the news. If that doesn't give the game away, I don't know what does.
ReplyDeleteHe was killed for xp... Hillary needed to level up to 7th.
ReplyDeleteFirst you have to find a case where a Christian is discriminated against for marrying outside of their sex.
ReplyDeleteWait, there are actual Satanists in Massachussets? Does that mean Cotton Mather was not so much wrong, as just way, way ahead of his time?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the links, I LOVE this sort of shit. I think "late night sasquatch radio" is going to have some fundie loon on tonight to talk about satanism.
ReplyDeleteI blame Joseph Curwen!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Where are all the champions of religious FREEDUMB??
ReplyDeleteAnd his little dog too!!
ReplyDeleteIf it was Judas Priest, wouldn't they be saying ".naiga toN .sreat ot em kcuf, woa"?
ReplyDeleteHow exactly do these people recognize Satan when he appears? Were they even introduced?
ReplyDeleteThe Satanic panic
ReplyDeleteBand name.
If the love of money is the root of all evil, how come the Satanists are all poor and the Catholic Church isn't?
ReplyDeleteAh, but see, they know that we know that a true Satanist would never own up to being a Satanist, so they might come out in favor of Satan to mislead us that they couldn't be Satanists, because…(see above, ad naseum).
ReplyDeleteHOLY SHIT
ReplyDeleteWasn't there something in the Bible specifically about not praying loudly on the street corners?
ReplyDeleteAha, gotcha. I grew up in Utah, so.
ReplyDeleteAh, well, one melted Nazi is as good as another, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThat was when Dick Cheney revealed his true face.
ReplyDeleteI think they'd say it's the "lust of money" that is the root of all evil, but they are still wrong and they're still greedy assholes.
ReplyDeleteWhy, yes. Matthew 6, verses 5+.
ReplyDeleteWell, it is likely that Disney World will get wiped out by a hurricane pretty soon now, what with the climate change and all, and it does seem pretty typical of Gawd to wipe out an entire state of supposedly innocent people just to punish a corporation.
ReplyDeleteFucking guy never changes.
she turned me into a newt.
ReplyDeleteIt's nearly done...and it is awesome.
ReplyDeleteBetter that than a Newt Gingrich.
ReplyDeleteI knew I should have been saving up for a shortwave radio.
ReplyDeleteI would like to press this comment with stones and then expire with a great cry. IYKWIMAITYD.
ReplyDeleteGuess who didn't get any royalties from "The Exorcist?"
ReplyDelete"As we drove to my car at Alewife Station [Mary Ann Harold] related that as she sat down in the then empty church she saw an apparition of the head of Satan appear over and to the left of the altar over the church. The head was disfigured and was screaming in pain and anger."
ReplyDelete1. How did she know it was Satan's head?
2. How did she know that the head was disfigured?
3. How did she know the reason(s) for the head's screaming?:
4, How did the altar get over the church?
5. What kind of moron accepts a ride from a hallucinating loon?
No need--he looks just like Robert DeNiro.
ReplyDeleteAfter the Passion of Brendan Eich, as I sat down in the then-empty Starbucks, I saw an apparition of the head of Ronald Reagan having gay marriage rammed down his throat.
ReplyDeleteSeems like a mashup of Putin's official portrait and Mickey Kaus' wet dream.
ReplyDeleteWell, having a vision of John Hagee in the midst of a bowel movement doesn't quite have the same cachet amongst the self-anointed.
ReplyDeleteWell, Procter & Gamble finally changed their logo, so at least they're off the hook
ReplyDeleteSo, more of "join the ward or you can't play with my kids anymore" vibe? I know a few non-Mormons who experienced that while growing up in Utah.
ReplyDeleteIn almost exactly those words, yes. Bleah.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking for the rest of us, though, thanks a fuckuva lot for that image.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what's with the two-finger salute.
ReplyDeleteDib dib dib.
ReplyDeleteAlso, cover everything except his satanic majesty's chin, mouth, and nose area. He looks strangely familiar.
ReplyDelete...and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
ReplyDeleteThis is mine:
ReplyDeletehttp://chiefdatacom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/home-alone.jpg
Now I want to photoshop it in with these two.
ReplyDeletehttp://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/e1/75/72/marx-engels-forum.jpg
PREDICTION: in a few years' time a tradition will develop of dressing up Baphy with different shirts and jackets for different occasions.
And if the head was disfigured, how could she tell it was Satan's?
ReplyDeleteScreaming in pain and anger, "Mother. Fucking. Hemorrhoids!
ReplyDeleteReally? I thought he looked more like Al Pacino:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118971/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_31
I still think that was one of the worst casting choices ever. Keanu Reeves versus His Satanic Majesty?
KEANU: You're--you're the devil!
SATAN: Yes.
KEANU: I'm gonna...I'm gonna...uh...
(eighty-two minutes elapse)
SATAN: Bored now. (steps on KEANU, examines sole of shoe)
Mine:
ReplyDeletehttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e9/Prince_of_darkness.jpg/220px-Prince_of_darkness.jpg
Which proves they don't read that New Testament that much. That's only five or six pages in.
ReplyDeleteSheesh.
the Black Mass was chased off-campus by Catholics
ReplyDeleteYestreblansky has a lot of fun pointing out that by the standards of the Puritans who founded Harvard, the difference between the two is only one of degree.
I'll see your angry screaming Satan head over the altar and raise you mile high satanic chocolate throwing lesbians! (This is not a movie.) (Sorry.)
ReplyDeleteIt should be!
ReplyDeleteAt least they get it slightly different next time, with a dash of gay panic added.
ReplyDeleteWait, 6th level Illuminati witch? What? I mean, I get that someone could take the traditional Illuminati-Freemasonry link and cross it with a garbled version of the Scottish Rite's degrees to wind up with "levels." But witch? That would require making an extremely tenuous connection to O.T.O's use of "Illuminati" as a rank and their practice of ritual magic, which would be downright craz... Oh.
ReplyDeleteShe recognized it from her HR training video?
ReplyDelete"You know, it is stupid to worship some zombie with some big pompous
ReplyDeleteceremony, chock full of chanting and robed priests (who often defile the
parishioners and children)."
If this Jesus guy ever does return to Earth, I'll spring for a couple of tickets for the Vatican Tour through Viator, and we'll go scope out Vatican City, with its trillions of lira worth of prime real estate in the middle of Rome, the gilded-frame paintings, the wealth of the Sistine Chapel, the gold edged costumes of the whole cast of characters... the cardinals, the Swiss Guard, and the Pope... hell, we'll even go have a nice chat with Bernard Cardinal Law before we go to the gift shop. And I'll chuckle at his last words before his head explodes: This isn't what I wanted at ALL!"
Keanu Reeves may have been the worst casting choice, but NOBODY could have delivered that monologue near the end of the movie better than Pacino.
ReplyDeleteI can't see a lot of daylight between worshipping the psychopathic god of the Old Testament and worshipping his disgruntled former employee. I can't see that either one deserves it, but whatever floats your boat...
ReplyDeleteThe Sacraments at an UnHoly mass would probably be real, so points for authenticity...
ReplyDeleteMike Oldfield?
ReplyDeleteSpecies might be easier...
ReplyDeleteYou know why there was no Hallowe'en or Thanksgiving in Arkansas in '93?
ReplyDeleteEveryone seen cleaning up household spills with a Dirt Devil will be suspect.
ReplyDeleteBoth, of course! Evil is no excuse for being wasteful.
ReplyDeleteAargh, I hate when this happens. There's a...statuette? painting? wall plaque icon thingie?...of Jesus with 2 little children. He's standing, they're facing him, he's hugging them, their heads are right...well, I guess you know where their faces are, right? I got lost over at Chingrish trying to find it. Dunno if that's where I saw it, but the light's better over there, so...
ReplyDeleteAnyways, this one is a lot less offensive, y'ask me.
Ah, I see. This is some pretty sophisticated trolling.
ReplyDeleteActually, I always thought that it was a pretty good casting choice if they wanted to show the hollowness and soullessness of the work-hard-play-hard scene. Reeves' character comes across as lacking all personality and inner life and having the sole quality of being good at his prestigious job, and for that he's showered in rewards. Sounds like real life to me. :P
ReplyDeleteI admit, that there are hints that that's not what they were going for (Keanu Reeves as a Southern good-old-boy stud, as Pacino's character describes him as one point? No. Just... no), but this way of watching the movie works well enough.
trillions of lira
ReplyDeleteEuro, these days.
/anal-retentive
But otherwise, yes.
It does seem to be a theme among these people that whatever large, shadowy force they imagine themselves to be fighting (whether Satan or the government or that conspiracy of Jewish bankers that I was reminded only last week that some of them still believe in), it's always at once all-pervasive and strangely impotent. It's everywhere and constantly plotting your downfall, but it'll flee the moment you yell and scream a little - but of course, it's also stubborn and will keep coming back forever, so you have to keep yelling and screaming constantly.
ReplyDelete... you have to admit, when you look at it that way, a lot of their behaviour makes more sense...
"Things that get Rick Santorum hot and bothered."
ReplyDeleteSatan? Pffft, that's clearly a Greater Ethereal Dreadnought.
ReplyDeletehttp://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0149/6074/products/manual_of_the_planes_edit_ii_1024x1024.jpg?v=1331010159
Jeepers I thought it was Satanic Picnic and I thought "Would they have BBQ?"
ReplyDeleteHow was Ron's gag reflex?
ReplyDeleteDamn, that was my fist thought, too. My copy editor youth comes back to haunt me.
ReplyDeleteRotisserie chickenhawk.
ReplyDeleteWell, in fairness, those pages are all stuck together because of the previous sections dealing with coveting, David and Bathsheeba, and all that other good sexy-time stuff in Genesis, Exodus, and Leviticus.
ReplyDeleteNot quite what you're after...
ReplyDeletehttp://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/wp-content/blogs.dir/470/files/2012/04/i-5885562d94e42093216ea8adcc3b1e5a-turn_jesus_on.jpg
The greatest trick the authoritarians ever pulled was convincing the world that the devil exists and it wasn't them.
ReplyDeleteFTFY
Shouldn't the King of the Jews have been circumcised?
ReplyDeleteAwrite, awreddy... in my defense, I'm old enough to be thinking that Audrey Hepburn is still zipping around Rome on the back of Gregory Peck's motor scooter.
ReplyDeleteDon't give SANTORVM any ideas.
ReplyDeleteDisney World will get wiped out by a hurricane or rising seas because it's in Florida. Disney Land will get wiped out by earthquakes or wildfires because it's in California. Either one getting wiped out by the signature disaster of it's particular location wouldn't indicate divine wrath, only hubris on the part of whoever decided to put Walt Disney's visions of heaven on earth in the middle of areas prone to disaster. And when Disney Paris gets wiped out by ennui that won't be divine wrath either.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, that will fix a solid 30% of common computer problems.
ReplyDeleteI was going to comment on just how nerdy this was, until I realized that I know it's astral dreadnought, not ethereal. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw black kettles.
ReplyDeleteWhich, for a lot of people, amounts to "tech wizardry."
ReplyDeleteWell. . . no one was using the wood, so we might as well build another cross.
ReplyDeleteA cynic might come to believe the church hierarchy were behind the staging of the mass in the first place just for that hey look over there moment :)
ReplyDeleteThat would be RNC attendees in the local bath houses.
ReplyDeletesospiro - as am I
ReplyDeleteIt’s like smelling Margherita pizza for the first time.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if that's a metaphor for something; not sure that I want to know.
Well, despite the site being "galactic news", the dude is still blegging for another $750 for his '02 Ford transmission, so there may be some cognitive dissonance going on there. AFAIK, "levels" apply mostly to RPGs, and while Pathfinder does have a witch class, there's no particular significance to level 6--patrons and familiars are chosen at level 1, and the major hexes don't kick in until level 10. Similarly, warlocks in World of Warcraft aren't much at 6; they don't even get the voidwalker until level 8.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmm.... One eye and pincer-style hands must make it really hard for the dreadnaught to pick anything up, seeing as how it lacks both depth perception and dexterity. /overthinking-the-graphic>
ReplyDeleteThis is how he runs down his awesome tech credentials:
ReplyDeleteI was a Computer Tech who used to blog at the HiWired blog before we were all laid off and let go.
As far as I can tell, HiWired was a homegrown Beantown version of the Geek Squad, meaning that he was one of those guys who made a living selling overpriced computer "services" to people afraid to replace their own video cards.
Apparently he used to work for HiWired, which maybe used to be your local version of the Geek Squad?
ReplyDeleteThere's something around here that has a building, very low rent sign, that says something like datechguy. I think I called them once for help but my computer oriented spouse refused to pay money for someone to do something he could do for himself (no, not that you perv!) and we didn't hire them.
ReplyDeleteThat is so perfect.
ReplyDeleteUrk. "I am the light of the world..."
ReplyDeleteI understand Satan left on an overnight flight to Rome and was last seen presiding over Santa Susanna as its titular priest.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Francis_Law He's the cynosure of sinecures.
ReplyDeleteI love the smell of Margherita pizza in the morning. Smells like ... Satan.
ReplyDeleteJohn Hagee always looks like that.
ReplyDeletesomething he could do for himself
ReplyDeleteInsert a floppy?
Stress-test the hard drive?
Press firmly on the eject button?
Stroke the mouse wheel?
Reinstall Windows 8?
If given the choice between jumping in front of a bullet and looking at his search history, take the hit.
ReplyDeleteThat was hawt until that last thing. Ew.
ReplyDeleteThat switch is definitely turned on.
ReplyDeleteIt's an ethereal plane, obviously it can't be described with three dimensions and the concept of 'depth' perception doesn't apply.
ReplyDeleteI'd say it was convincing the world god exists and he happens to agree with their ideas on how to run things. But tomato tomahto.
ReplyDeleteIts not floppy.
ReplyDeleteWell, he must not be degaussing it properly, IYKWIMA ... Okay, I don't even think I do.
ReplyDeleteOh, my issue wasn't with Pacino. It's this: once you've cast Keanu Reeves as your protagonist, who do you cast as the Devil who can't whip Keanu with both hands tied behind his back? William Shatner? Danny DeVito? Steven Baldwin? Pacino's left eyebrow could embody enough evil to flatten Keanu Reeves.
ReplyDeleteClose! In fact that might be the pic that led to someone else--probably over at Eschaton--posting the one I was thinking of.
ReplyDelete"Reformat your hard drive and reinstall Windows." (See also.)
ReplyDeleteYou'll also note that it's the very picture Doom ripped off for the Cacodemon! Albeit without the pincers.
ReplyDeleteAnd that brings us to crossing the nerdery streams, which I think is always a consummation devoutly to be wished.
http://www.trilobite.org/doom/graphics/cacodemon.gif
It's always worked for me.
ReplyDeleteI had a Jehovah's Witness friend who was made uncomfortable if, when you were talking about him and he walked in, you said, "Speak of the devil ..."
ReplyDelete