Friday, May 30, 2014

AROUND THE HORN.

•  I've always enjoyed Armond White's totally insane film criticism, and now that he's at National Review he's gotten even better, leaning more heavily on his culture-warrior malarkey. Since his targets are mostly crap like Maleficent ("All that’s certain is Jolie and Disney’s intention to overturn fundamental moral precepts"), who gives a shit? It's even funnier when White celebrates the "affectionate, often ribald humanity" of... Adam Sandler (who is also the target of the "Lamestream" and its "barely veiled political invective" -- why, do you know, they even call him "tasteless or corny"! Yeah, Adam Sandler!). But in one way it's sad: Once upon a time National Review hired critics like John Simon. Simon was temperamentally conservative (that is, an asshole) and at least as funny in his disapproval as White, but  also interesting when he liked something -- because, for one thing, that happened so rarely, and, for another, he was an astute observer whose tastes were as broad as his standards were high. He could identify and explain the true art in films that wouldn't seem to his tastes -- not only Bergman and Wertmuller, but also, for example, John Avildsen's Joe. Sociopolitical analysis didn't play a big role in his criticism because he focused on the art. It's a shame that no one could expect such a thing of National Review nowadays.

•  Ramesh Ponnuru on Hillary Clinton's age: "Age was a legitimate issue to consider when McCain ran for president. (I wrote an article urging him to allay concerns about his age by pledging to serve one term and picking a reassuring running mate. His campaign let me know my advice was considered, but he went a different way.)" As I am a Christian I want to believe "let me know my advice was considered" is a joke on Ponnuru's part. If so, nice one! There, that's my bipartisanship quota for the month. (Ponnuru's plan for McCain 2008 was sweet reason itself compared to Noah Millman's Palin-resigns-upon-McCain's-death idea. I wonder if the McCain campaign called him back.)

UPDATES.

•  No week is complete without a Jonah Goldberg mouthfart. This one's on the UCSB killings:
And, yes, guns need to be part of that equation. But blanket efforts to ban guns seem like an analogous effort to ban dangerous speech or art.
"Seem like an analogous effort" is the mush-mouth tipoff that Goldberg is lost in the clouds (actually, "blanket efforts to ban guns" is similarly meaningless), but what makes it even dumber is that for years Goldberg's been telling readers that he's in favor of censorship. I guess defending guns after a massacre is such a key part of the National Review mission that he doesn't mind breaking character for it.

•  Oh Christ, Patheos' "Postmodern Conservative" things has been transferred to National Review, and its greatest horror so far is a 2,000-word essay by Carl Eric Scott ("I’m a Gen-X academic arguably too interested in rock") called, I swear to God, "Carl’s Rock Songbook No. 95, Woods, 'Moving to the Left.'" Get a load:
[On some stupid Millenials survey] You don’t need a weathervane to know that those sociological findings predict a leftist direction for politics. 
Conservative columnists Jonah Goldberg and Ross Douthat noted that the report’s results were not exactly comforting to progressives either, as they showed that the habits of trust and involvement vital to any genuinely democratic movement are also in marked decline. When you listen to contemporary rock music, you hear frustrated recognition of this by the millennials themselves. For example, while Mikal Cronin’s “Apathy” provides poetic affirmation of the report’s finding about declining religious identification – old men, sing the song about Jesus, it deadpans at one point – its main message is the repeated refrain I don’t want apathy. Perceptive Millennials fear that many of their peers have fallen into a politically apathetic pattern, and that they could be drawn into the same.
Look what's happening out in the street/ Got to revolution, got to revolution!
...Woods has not been a noticeably political band, but as they’ve always cultivated a hippie-esque sound and image, and as they prominently display a peace symbol on their new album, we can assume their political sympathies are at least somewhat leftist... 
The other possibility is that Earl himself isn’t a good leftist at heart but, as the leader of an artsy Brooklyn rock band, finds the typical bohemian expectation of and faith in leftist social change wearisome.
Another possibility is fuck you.

217 comments:

  1. Funniest single line from White's ruminations on Adam Sandler:


    Jack and Jill’s bold yet endearing satire on ethnic shame was denounced mostly by critics who deny their own ethnicity.



    I now invite all of you to add your own observations. What other deep social messages can you find in the cinematic oeuvre of Mr. Sandler and his friends? Let's dig up proof that Sandler has only been rejected by the liberal establishment (by which I mean that they consistently produce and distribute his films) because they suspect he is a Republican, as Mr. White suggests.

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  2. Derelict11:10 AM

    It's a shame that no one could expect such a thing of National Review nowadays.

    Who has time to consider art as art when we must devote all our energies to filtering the world through our ideological lenses? Jonah et al. would be living in cardboard boxes if not for that!

    As for Hillary's age, it's yet one more example of IOKIYAR. McCain can be old enough that we need to saw him in half and count his rings, and Reagan was in need of carbon-dating by the time he left office (and was demonstrably senile as well), and Bob Dole was showing us all how Bob Dole wouldn't let Bob Dole be too old.

    But Hillary? My GOD, she's not young and flirty-flirt age anymore, so the only other possibility is that she's ancient and decrepit. Glad to see the GOP outreach to women and minorities has taken a fresh new tack!

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  3. FMguru11:12 AM

    Ponnuru is supposed to be one of the smarter ones, isn't he?

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  4. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps11:35 AM

    Armond White is at his best when he's dissecting movies that romanticize and whitewash the Black experience in America, but I guess he saw the writing on the wall and decided there's more money in being a reflexive curmudgeon.

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  5. dstatton12:00 PM

    "...Jolie’s off-screen social activities and sentimental political agenda (concerning the ostensible rights of women and children in war)."



    Asshole.

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  6. "Clinton is a master at using many words to say very little."

    - Jenghazi Rubin, Zen-master of self-unawareness
    ~

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  7. susanoftexas12:33 PM

    Shock and Awe!

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  8. Zencomix12:36 PM

    Happy Gilmore's fistfight on a golf course with Bob Barker is a bold yet endearing satire on the consumerism and Capitalism that brainwashes the American public through the use of Television.

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  9. M. Krebs12:54 PM

    Sandler's "Hanukkah Song" is a staunch defense of Israeli settlements in the occupied territories.

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  10. DN Nation12:57 PM

    White toes the line between passionate nut and cynical troll. It's his constant fluffing of Adam Sandler that pushes him over to the latter, IMO. Remember: He also loved Grown-Ups, aka "Adam Sandler goes on vacation and films some of it."

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  11. NonyNony12:58 PM

    "let me know my advice was considered" is a joke on Ponnuru's part

    Actually, I think the "but he went a different way" is the punchline of the joke. If it was intentional, it is probably the funniest thing Ponnuru has ever written.

    And if it was unintentional? It's still probably the funniest thing he's ever written.

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  12. Derelict1:01 PM

    Smarter and courageous! After writing about how "the Democrat Party is the party of death," Ponnuru beat a hasty retreat from his own words. When challenged about it, he claimed that he never wrote such a thing, then said he never mentioned Democrats, then claimed it was all intentional misreading on the part of a liberally biased press.

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  13. Derelict1:03 PM

    Also, too: She's still stuck somewhere between denial and anger that Mitt did not win. Although she's been trying to work up enthusiasm for other future-former candidates, none has that ol' Mitt magic.

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  14. Derelict1:06 PM

    Adam Sandler's films are steeped in trenchant social commentary, if by trenchant social commentary you mean completely lacking in humor above a second-grade level.

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  15. Megalon1:06 PM

    God, what is with these culture critics? Why say something in three or four syllables when you can use thirteen or fourteen instead! It makes me think of some smarmy douchebag college Maoist's manifesto. "Politically correct" is basically the right wing equivalent of "capitalist roader" at this point.

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  16. sharculese1:11 PM

    Ah yes, that 'we'll give you access and flatter the fuck out of you so long as you treat our press releases as objective fact' magic.

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  17. FMguru1:29 PM

    I remember that.

    I also remember his "hey, look over there!" *smokebomb* routine when people pointed out how his critique of a culture of death somehow omitted mentioning the death penalty, aggressive militarism, gun culture, and cutting foreign aid and the domestic safety net, or what political party supports those things.

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  18. They have no leg to stand on, so they try to dazzle with bullshit.

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  19. Spaghetti Lee2:00 PM

    I've always thought that White was just a spiteful asshole who was good at fooling people into thinking he was something more interesting than just a spiteful asshole, but I'm glad Jonah's got someone to watch Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider movies with. He's always had trouble making friends, you know.

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  20. Derelict2:00 PM

    I'm pretty sure this is just a shorter of my comment above.

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  21. Derelict2:01 PM

    Sure, but they'll probably injure each other severely as they leap to wrong conclusions and contort themselves mercilessly to avoid any non-conservative meanings that might be revealed.

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  22. Derelict2:07 PM

    Typing "liberals suck" does not earn you a place on the wingnut welfare train. You gotta do your best to ape William F. Buckley if you want to ride with the legacy hires like Jonah and Podhoretz. Happily for them (and humorously for us), nobody in the current constellation of conservative stars and wannabes has the erudition to write like Buckley, or to recognize just how atrocious both their writing and reasoning are.

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  23. You gotta do your best to mimic the style of syphilitic ape William F. Buckley


    You left a few words out, but the context made it sufficiently clear.

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  24. Derelict2:10 PM

    Thanks! Those rolled under the desk and I was too lazy to retrieve them.

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  25. "the ostensible rights of women and children"


    I presume NRO has a macro for autocompleting this phrase.

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  26. Doc Nebula2:12 PM

    Interestingly, Moore's superheroes only rely on 'unthinking, simplistic violent action' when Moore is trying to make a point about their individual personalities... or the rather over simplified morality of the superhero subgenre as a whole. For the most part, Moore's superheroes tend to be the most complex, thoughtful, and capable of non violent problem solving of any superheroes every published... certainly they're smarter and more willing to solve an issue with something besides a flying high kick than anyone written by Warren Ellis or Brian Michael Bendis.

    The most reflexively violent Moore superhero I can think of is Rorschach, and Rorschach is a deliberate parody of pretty much every Steve Ditko superhero ever pencilled and inked. Moore's other characters, in WATCHMEN and out (even Batman, in the odiouis KILLING JOKE) tend to be more reflective before they wade in and start pummeling.

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  27. trenchant

    Ahem. We scientistic types prefer "acute necrotizing ulcerative gingivitis."

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  28. (Insert snot joke here.)

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  29. tigrismus2:19 PM

    "catastrophic" because they rely on unthinking, simplistic violent action to solve complex problems

    It's nice to see that NatRev doesn't require everyone to toe the line on the Bush/Cheney years.

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  30. Spaghetti Lee2:19 PM

    When you listen to contemporary rock music, you hear frustrated recognition of this by the millennials themselves.


    Yeah, up until the last five years or so, rock music was well known for its love of institutions and faith in authority figures.

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  31. mortimer20002:19 PM

    Why Adam Sandler is a Great & Talented Hollywood Artist
    Lifetime Gross Total (29 movies): $2,386,728,099
    Average: $82,300,969

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  32. Oh Christ,
    Hee.
    Patheos' "Postmodern Conservative" things has been transferred to National Review


    As someone who frequents Slacktivist over there, let me just grab something off the cliche remainder rack: "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

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  33. Nice qualifier, that "ostensible."

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  34. DS_86753092:25 PM

    I was going to write a more lengthy comment about the CE Scott music piece. But then I read the whole article and decided it was a giant waste of time. He's bean plating about part of the lyrics to one song and coming up with theories about left-right cycles in American politics and culture. And he fucking gets paid to do this.

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  35. LittlePig2:30 PM

    Rorschach is a deliberate parody of pretty much every Steve Ditko superhero ever pencilled and inked.

    Nah. Not enough sweat flopping everywhere, jargondo-size weaponry, and anatomically-impossible anatomy. And far too few pouches.

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  36. NonyNony2:32 PM

    Remember: He also loved Grown-Ups


    I did not know this. And it means that the strong suspicion that I could ignore any thought he has about anything remotely film oriented has been confirmed.

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  37. Are you saying they've even fucked up the dazzle-brilliance/baffle-bullshit strategy? I am stunned.

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  38. NonyNony2:34 PM

    Argh! Steve Ditko, not Rob Liefeld. Liefeld is the guy with the pouches, Ditko is the guy who co-created Spider-man and Doctor Strange back in the 60s.

    Please don't confuse them. Ditko was a brilliant artist back in the day - the word brilliant only comes near Liefeld when he's standing by a light bulb.

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  39. NonyNony2:38 PM

    Oh come on - Ditko co-created Spider-man and Doctor Strange. Neither of which is remotely like Rorschach.

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  40. redoubtagain2:39 PM

    Jenghazi Rubin: "That Ole Mitt Magic has me in its spell. . ."
    Mother Superior Kathryn: Hey! I'm the one who's supposed to sing that!

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  41. tigrismus2:45 PM

    You don’t need a weathervane to know that those sociological findings predict a leftist direction for politics.

    Or a crystal ball to know which way the wind is blowing.

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  42. redoubtagain2:46 PM

    Oh Christ, Patheos' "Postmodern Conservative" things has been transferred to National Review
    Too bad you can't pack concentrated logic into a drone.

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  43. redoubtagain2:49 PM

    "Outlook not so good." Magic Crystal Weathervane
    (also a band name, so two-for one)

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  44. He thinks he knows his Dylan, but he doesn't even know his Bill Ayers. What a maroon!

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  45. It was literally the most glaringly ironic-because-you-clearly-don't-know-what-the-fuck-you're-talking-about thing a right-winger actually said that week, which is really saying something.

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  46. sharculese3:10 PM

    I'm just impressed CES figured out how to turn on the time machine hiddn in the center of his copy of OK Computer.

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  47. Rorschach is a deliberate parody of pretty much every Steve Ditko superhero ever pencilled and inked.


    In addition to what NonyNony said, Rorschach is a deliberate, quite specific parody of Steve Ditko's related Objectivist "superheroes" Mr. A and The Question.

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  48. Shakezula3:17 PM

    Get a load:


    We already got a pantload from Jonah. This second load will overload us, so I guess we'll have to unload it on this dump.


    I have to say though that the delusion that admitting they're familiar with that Rock n' Roll music makes them with it is almost sort of precious in a 3 year old proud of his dookie sort of way.

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  49. sharculese3:17 PM

    The flip side of that is he costs a lot of money and seems to be hitting the point of diminishing returns. Thanks to his recent string of flops he topped the latest edition of Forbes list of the most overpaid actors: http://www.forbes.com/sites/dorothypomerantz/2013/12/09/adam-sandler-tops-our-list-of-the-most-overpaid-actors/

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  50. Derelict3:30 PM

    Well, the daily-strip Spiderman is an inept bumbling coward who spends an awful lot of time whining about how his wife makes more money than he does. The super-villains are routinely brought to justice by someone or something other than Spidey. And his spider-sense tingles only when danger is far away--when danger gets close enough to clock him on the head, his spidey sense is, well, senseless.

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  51. Slocum3:35 PM

    "Carl Eric Scott"
    He has three fucking first names. I think that means that he was born without a soul.

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  52. NonyNony3:44 PM

    The daily Spider-man strip is hilarious in how awful it is. Spider-man was always a soap opera comic book, but the daily strip takes the slow pacing of daily soap opera comics to new lows. Plus since it's nearly impossible to show anything remotely resembling an action sequence in two panels, and since the Sunday strips aren't really allowed to expand on the story (because not everyone gets the Sunday strips) but has to retell a week's worth of strips in a single day instead (because some folks ONLY get the Sunday strips) it's a huge cluster.

    That said - it's a sometimes hilarious cluster, even if it is mostly unintentional.

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  53. NonyNony3:50 PM

    Oh yeah, Mr. A. An Objectivist "Superhero". As I recall he mostly goes around telling people to help themselves because nobody's going to help them, and generally being a dick to them doesn't he? (Or am I misremembering a parody version that I read?)

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  54. Tony Prost3:58 PM

    no, no, that's trench MOUTH!

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  55. sharculese3:59 PM

    Capping the last plot with Spidey getting yelled at for being rude to JJJ was kind of a masterpiece of inverted genius I'm worried we're not going to see again for a while.

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  56. Shakezula4:05 PM

    Yes. Little things like this are why I look forward to all of the NROvian head scratching when the GOP gets a shellacking.

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  57. randomworker4:07 PM

    omg this week has been...Well, now I know why people tear off all their clothes and run around naked screaming.

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  58. Jay B.4:10 PM

    Affectionate humanity? Sandler? I can't think of a single popular performer in history who hates his audience more. Sure, you can find a Lars Von Trier, whom I loathe, but he clearly hates himself too, plus, he's recognizably an artist and puts serious effort and thought into his misanthropy. Sandler mails in contempt.

    I mean I love a stupid-funny comedy. I am not a fucking snob about laughing at "ribald" stuff. But the shit has to be funny. There has to be some POV, some tweaking of pretense. Sandler is insufferable because he punches down, props himself up (outside of a "ow my balls" moment or two) and is cynical about the entire enterprise of "entertainment", which is fine by me if that's how he chooses to make his money. But smug contrarianism sanctifying object laziness and overtly witless comedy because of "affectionate humanity" is just about enough.

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  59. randomworker4:11 PM

    Thanks for articulating why I don't like him! I thought my humor was just...off...somehow.

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  60. dstatton4:18 PM

    That and the other qualifier ("sentimental") are what make him an asshole, so he's found a nice home at NRO.

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  61. montag24:39 PM

    I remain pessimistic about such shellackings. While it's true that the GOP's outreach efforts are beginning to sound as if they really have no interest in winning, as they get worse at vote-getting, their election-stealing skills are improving at roughly inverse rates.

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  62. TGuerrant4:46 PM

    That said, we should recognize that Adam Sandler fills a patriotic niche for those who find Jim Carrey too Golden Globey and therefore subservient to foreign media interests. Sandler remains pure in his all-American unglobularity after assiduously avoiding a GG for Punch-Drunk Love by letting libtard Richard Gere have it for doing Negro-style dancing in Chicago. Few in Hollywood can match Sandler's resolve when it comes to humbling professional achievements.

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  63. montag24:47 PM

    I'm just pleasantly amused that Scott has finally proven that there is, in fact, a rock critic too lame to get a gig at Rolling Stone, and downright mirthful that such a character was subsequently hauled on board NRO's leaking cruise ship.

    A twofer.

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  64. Shakezula4:48 PM

    And Lunch Lady is his ringing denouncement of the school lunch program (AKA Meals for Mini-Moochers).

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  65. sharculese4:54 PM

    I've seen parts Hotel Trannsylvania and it's perfectly fine for what it is, which makes it a top tier Sandler film.

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  66. Halloween_Jack5:14 PM

    ...your clothes were on fire?

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  67. Halloween_Jack5:14 PM

    Upvoted for MetaFilterism.

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  68. Halloween_Jack5:16 PM

    His trouble in making friends is almost entirely due to his defining "friendship" as "someone who will do my chores for me."

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  69. Halloween_Jack5:25 PM

    Ooh, good catch.

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  70. TGuerrant5:25 PM

    And yet, when it comes to droning on, the Right excels.

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  71. Halloween_Jack5:26 PM

    on yet another mission using their queer special talents


    Oh dear.

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  72. Derelict6:02 PM

    If you haven't noticed, NRO has strict standards for their writers: Any indication of actual aptitude or facility with English is grounds for immediate dismissal.

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  73. Derelict6:05 PM

    They skip the fart jokes because, with Jonah around, flatulence is no laughing matter.

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  74. Derelict6:08 PM

    Once again, the kind of incisive analysis usually found at about 2AM in the freshman dorm after many, many fat ones have been smoked.

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  75. Derelict6:10 PM

    Here's hoping that you're referring to the tsunami of stupid that is political discourse in this country--and not to how bad things have been for you on a personal level.

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  76. JennOfArk6:17 PM

    Rob Schneider.

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  77. satch6:34 PM

    Looking forward to the "NuhHUH...don't chew be lookin' at MY man" slapfight in the cafeteria between KLo and Jennghazi over who gets to be Mitt Romney's date to this years NRO cruise...

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  78. The Temporary Name6:50 PM

    But blanket efforts to ban guns seem like an analogous effort to ban dangerous speech or art.

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  79. The Temporary Name6:51 PM

    Whoops. Meant to include a reminiscence of that horrible spree killing involving the elephant poop and jars of urine.

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  80. JennOfArk6:56 PM

    Off-topic, but this is awesome: Russian Yeti: The Killer Lives.

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  81. Izzy Wasserstein6:57 PM

    I must give Mr. White this much: few trolls can monitize so effectively.

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  82. Lurkerdodo7:01 PM

    Bizarrely, Armond White is (probably) gay, and writes for Out.com (though even his Maleficent review there: http://www.out.com/entertainment/armond-white/2014/05/30/Maleficent-why-angelina-jolie-wrong-disney-dyke still had "P.C." pejoratively applied to gay appeal) If he didn't express disdain for Freudian thought in previous reviews, I'd think his therapy bills were pretty high.

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  83. Izzy Wasserstein7:02 PM

    Moore spends time these days explaining how no one is doing interesting work in comics but him. In a way, his comics trolling mirrors White's movie trolling quite nicely.

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  84. Ditko created The Creeper, who wasn't Objectionist, AFAIK.

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  85. The only way to stop a bad guy with a Picasso is to have there a good guy with a Picasso.

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  86. The NRO commenters trying to figure out what the hell White is talking about are even funnier than the review.

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  87. Do you have a link to one of these? I love reading his stuff, but mostly for the complete batshittery. I'd love to read something of his worth taking seriously.

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  88. M. Krebs8:29 PM

    Punch Drunk Love was really quite good, although it wasn't really a Sandler movie per se.

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  89. M. Krebs8:31 PM

    I am in awe.

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  90. MikeJ8:33 PM

    Your theory would answer many questions about my life (although I never use all three names at once.)

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  91. Shakezula8:47 PM

    I was feeling distinctly unwell I first saw the ad for that. Maybe laughter is the best medicine 'cos I recovered soon after.

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  92. MichaelNewsham8:55 PM

    I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he meant to say "ostensibly concerning the rights of women and children in war" but just doesn't know how to write.
    OTOH this is National Review, so opposing raping and killing women and children is probably considered too pc.

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  93. MichaelNewsham9:01 PM

    And check the "bitches are just out for money" PUA-type in the comments.

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  94. MichaelNewsham9:09 PM

    I stand in awe.

    "To be sure, some of the bloom has come off the rose of “postmodernism”
    as an edgy and sophisticated intellectual movement, but that gives a bit
    of an ironically “retro” flavor to the name – which is itself at once
    sort of “conservative” in a sort of “postmodern” way."


    Things just aren't the same since Obama had Derrida taken out.

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  95. MichaelNewsham9:22 PM

    In the comments on the "Maleficent" review

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  96. M. Krebs9:27 PM

    Speaking of Gore Vidal, isn't there a new documentary about him due out soon? Ah, yes there is!

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  97. M. Krebs9:38 PM

    I think random worker is referring to the Eliot Rodger thing followed all the typical bullshit and assholery. The usual freak show, in other words.

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  98. M. Krebs9:40 PM

    I'd probably agree if I had seen more than two of his movies.

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  99. M. Krebs9:41 PM

    Anthony DeCurtis, you're wanted on line two.

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  100. M. Krebs9:42 PM

    Yes, insofar as neither exists.

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  101. M. Krebs9:46 PM

    Holy shit. That's an actual quote? Somebody fetch me a lifeboat; I'm going in!

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  102. mortimer20009:52 PM

    Wow. Considering the sheer hipster weightlessness of the song he's on (and on and on) about, C.E.Scott's endless prattle is something else. If this is any example of the hermeneutical depths pop-crock criticism has sunk to, I'm glad I let my subscription to Pijama Niño lapse.

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  103. Ellis_Weiner9:58 PM

    White has found his metier. He flaunts a snappy vocabulary in the service of knee-jerk contrarianism. "Everyone with any intelligence and taste hates Adam Sandler...Huh! I am SO THERE." And he alludes to French animation to make withering critiques of a Disney movie. Aren't they cute when they try to be smart?

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  104. whetstone10:01 PM

    When you listen to contemporary rock music, you hear frustrated
    recognition of this by the millennials themselves. For example, while
    Mikal Cronin’s “Apathy” provides poetic affirmation of the report’s
    finding about declining religious identification something something AAAAGGGHH


    If, after all the bedwetting about building an entirely separate conservative artistic superstructure, the Zhdanovites end up with all the wanky art criticism and none of the art, that would be pretty much everything I've wished for.

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  105. M. Krebs10:13 PM

    Okay, this confirms my general critique of hipster/"indie"/whateverthefuckitis. The kids have no idea how to write a goddamn bridge. A song has to have a bridge. End of story.

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  106. I still get a chuckle thinking about Rubin's performance during the election. That White House press secretary job was so close she could taste it. I fully expected her to start posting pics of her own hand-knitted, red-white & blue dick cozies. Or, an MS Paint scrawl of a heart with "MR+JR" in the middle. Spin is one thing, but claiming your guy is the next Jackson Pollock after he shit the bed and waved the sheets in front of the cameras takes a special kind of contempt for objective reality.
    The instant he lost, JRube was Gone like panties in a porno. It was even back-peddling, she just un-personed her every utterance for the previous year! Never Happened. The sheer impudence of it I couldn't help but admire...

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  107. YNWA4051510:29 PM

    It really would take something extraordinarily special to top the "Jesus bug-fuck how is that even?" level of oxymoronical fuckwittery that is "Liberal Fascism." That one is going to stand for all time.

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  108. Jon Hendry10:54 PM

    You have to admit he's right about MacFarlane.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Jon Hendry10:58 PM

    Kathryn's saving herself for Benedict.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Jon Hendry11:01 PM

    But was a PUA.


    (No, not really.)

    ReplyDelete
  111. billcinsd11:02 PM

    A song has to have a bridge.

    so does a river, but did that stop Alaska's congressional delegation or Texas Hold'em players

    ReplyDelete
  112. Jon Hendry11:06 PM

    Give it time.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Brian Schlosser11:11 PM

    ... is a carrot!

    ReplyDelete
  114. Brian Schlosser11:15 PM

    Hey now, I just did my bi-monthly listen-through of that album yesterday!

    ReplyDelete
  115. Brian Schlosser11:20 PM

    They have no legs to stand on, so they sit and spin in their own shit.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Brian Schlosser11:20 PM

    Ann Coulter comes to mind

    ReplyDelete
  117. Brian Schlosser11:21 PM

    In Soviet Russia, Yeti searches for proof of YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  118. Brian Schlosser11:32 PM

    You know, the fact that McCain is still alive and serving in the Senate doesn't really help any wingers who want to make the "We brought up age in 2008, too" argument.


    Not that they care. We used to hear serious arguments that a woman couldn't serve as president because of PMS. Now the same people say that if you're post-menopausal, welp, you're too much a doddering old biddy to serve.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Gabriel Ratchet11:41 PM

    Josh Fruhlinger over at The Comics Curmudgeon website has been pointing this out for some time.

    ReplyDelete
  120. freq flag11:50 PM

    Dammit, I hate that Bob Barker!

    ReplyDelete
  121. freq flag11:54 PM

    flatulence is no laughing matter.

    It is, rather, an argument heretofore never made with such detail nor with such care.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Derelict11:56 PM

    Jonah's magnum dopus is its own category. Indeed, when it was finally published, the final death throes of irony were picked up by seismic stations as far away as Antarctica.

    ReplyDelete
  123. freq flag12:03 AM

    Say what you will about conservative social commentary (aka the feeble talking points they have to use as their only ammo in the never-ending culture wars), at least they know their audience.

    ReplyDelete
  124. freq flag12:23 AM

    To paraphrase brother Driftglass...the Camille Paglia dollar is a good dollar.

    ReplyDelete
  125. freq flag12:31 AM

    We're not worthy!

    ReplyDelete
  126. freq flag12:39 AM

    he’ll fit in nicely with the rest
    of the feckless feces fluffers at National Review



    Squeeze out a carefully emitted flatus through Lucianne's anus, and you've got yourself a regular Goldberg family reunion. Book your spot on the cruise while there's still time (some constrictions restrictions may apply).

    ReplyDelete
  127. freq flag12:41 AM

    Five-second Rule!

    ReplyDelete
  128. freq flag12:43 AM

    Well, duh, stupid liberalfascist...those Simpsons episodes aren't gonna watch themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  129. freq flag12:49 AM

    born without a soul.

    Nah, just without even a hope of possible self-awareness.
    Like all of 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  130. freq flag12:51 AM

    Let it ring...

    ReplyDelete
  131. freq flag12:52 AM

    Yep, Paglia as well.

    (mentioned earlier)

    ReplyDelete
  132. BadExampleMan2:36 AM

    We're still feeling the aftershocks, e.g. every time anyone opines that "you're the real racist!"

    ReplyDelete
  133. smut clyde3:03 AM

    Noah Millman's Palin-resigns-upon-McCain's-death idea.

    Goodness me, I missed that at the time. Nothing expresses confidence in your preferred candidate's choice of Emergency Back-up President, like suggesting that she bolster her popularity by promising to resign if ever placed in a position of responsibility.

    ReplyDelete
  134. smut clyde4:40 AM

    You don't need a Seldon Plan to foretell climate change.

    But blanket efforts to ban guns


    Not to mention the Gunn plan to ban blankets.

    ReplyDelete
  135. smut clyde4:47 AM

    Go easy on the party punch, is all I'm saying.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Pay wall!

    ReplyDelete
  137. Ya cahn't do it, Captain!

    ReplyDelete
  138. Kind of an admission that Princess Dumbass was only there for the woody vote.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Derelict6:37 AM

    Hmmmmmmmmm....Maybe trench-foot-in-mouth?

    ReplyDelete
  140. "...no wonder they've lost faith in the democratic process."

    Unfortunately, a lot of those '08 Obama supporters thought that once Obama was elected their job was done. They failed to realize that politics is a long game, while conservatives realize that fact all too well, and are willing to back it up with enough cash to generate continuous outrage.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Yeah, well... if you get lost, don't expect any of us to go in there looking for you...

    ReplyDelete
  142. NRO is bringing Thomas Kinkade to a Picasso fight.

    ReplyDelete
  143. DocAmazing10:50 AM

    Plunge in that Picasso up to the ricasso.

    ReplyDelete
  144. M. Krebs11:09 AM

    Nowadays you can read the Times by just switching off Javascript.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Ellis_Weiner11:11 AM

    Enjoy--especially when they then conclude that art criticism (by which they mean, high school Honors English essays on how Godzilla is a critique of the welfare state) is, really, the new art.

    ReplyDelete
  146. dstatton11:14 AM

    That's probably right. They cannot believe that Hollywood do-gooders actually care about human suffering (they themselves don't - it's always projection, you know), and so just do it to show off.

    ReplyDelete
  147. LittlePig11:21 AM

    A thousand pardons. We were talking about Liefeld on the previous thread, and my brain was primed the wrong way. I remember Thor being drawn by Ditko ("in the distinctive Ditko style") in an early Doctor Strange ("so distinctive, in fact, we are trying to hide it from Jolly Jack Kirby!"). The sylistic differences really came through.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Israeli reclamation of historic Judaea and Samaria, surely?

    ReplyDelete
  149. Doesn't MacFarlane's beady-eyed doll's face seem untrustworthy? Who could object to that?

    ReplyDelete
  150. susanoftexas11:36 AM

    It's certainly an easy one.

    ReplyDelete
  151. susanoftexas11:38 AM

    Perhaps, like Andrew Sullivan, he thinks self-loathing is for the little people. No therapy needed since he is not one of those people.

    ReplyDelete
  152. susanoftexas11:44 AM

    As much as I hate Family Guy, I have to defend MacFarlane's right to resemble a character on Thunderbirds

    ReplyDelete
  153. Derelict12:13 PM

    Liefeld, as in worst comic artist ever?


    http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012/4/21/2960508/worst-rob-liefeld-drawings


    Like a train wreck, you can't look away. And you'll never look at those comics the same way ever again.

    ReplyDelete
  154. They'd bring a Walter Keane to an Impressionist show down.

    ReplyDelete
  155. LittlePig12:47 PM

    Poor Rob. Always the go-to guy...mostly.

    A Painful Pose

    From Mort Luchins wonderful <a href="http://luchins.com/what-were-they-thinking>What Were They Thinking</a>, which is an education in itself.

    ReplyDelete
  156. user name:gorevidal
    password:gorevidal

    That's how you can get into the NYT site these days.

    ReplyDelete
  157. RogerAiles3:22 PM

    Dangerous art? Did Pantload cut his wang on the corner of a Keane painting?

    ReplyDelete
  158. JennOfArk3:51 PM

    And oh how I hate Family Guy.

    ReplyDelete
  159. JennOfArk4:10 PM

    I'm thinking it was a McNaughton.


    Seriously, go to the link and mouse over the image. Nothing says "great artist" like the need to both identify what you've painted and tell the viewer what it's supposed to mean.

    ReplyDelete
  160. randomworker4:43 PM

    Yep!

    ReplyDelete
  161. tigrismus4:44 PM

    the need to both identify what you've painted and tell the viewer what it's supposed to mean

    Because they're just too subtle.

    ReplyDelete
  162. randomworker4:44 PM

    I could tell that to the sheriff.

    ReplyDelete
  163. JennOfArk4:46 PM

    McNaughton is as subtle as a chainsaw.

    ReplyDelete
  164. tigrismus4:48 PM

    http://poorlydrawnlines.com/comic/generic-advice-lady/

    ReplyDelete
  165. tigrismus4:48 PM

    Aw, now you've made VDH cry again.

    ReplyDelete
  166. JennOfArk5:05 PM

    Really, go to the (corrected) link. When I first looked at it, I could only vaguely make out who most of the characters were supposed to be; I had no idea who the characters representing "Matt Damon," "Piers Morgan," "Sean Penn," or "Lawrence O'Donnell" were supposed to be. I guessed at "Bill Maher" and "Alec Baldwin," though both are really inept representations, and I didn't even notice "Jon Stewart."


    Even on a basic technical level, he sucks as an artist.

    ReplyDelete
  167. smut clyde5:11 PM

    some of the bloom has come off the rose of “postmodernism” as an edgy and sophisticated intellectual movementThe bloom came off 40-odd years ago. All the cool kids are deconstructionists.

    I was going to make a joke about the rose coming off Allan Bloom, but need more coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  168. LittlePig5:13 PM

    Now The Question I can buy. That makes sense, which generically (Ditko-wise) I could not get from Rorschach.

    (BYW, making Jeffery Coombs the voice of The Question in Justice League Unlimited was a master stroke)

    ReplyDelete
  169. smut clyde5:18 PM

    By combining the concept of “hero” and “villain” into a new female
    deity, Maleficent/Jolie implies that audiences cease to identify enemies
    and opposites and commit to an all-are-one embrace.A more cynical interpretation is that the Disney execs saw how successful Gregory Maguire was with "Wicked", and thought "Hey, we can steal that!"

    ReplyDelete
  170. Derelict5:55 PM

    Wonderful indeed! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  171. RogerAiles5:56 PM

    I liked the labels for "Wind Mills," "Tornado" and "Elephant Butt." Liberal plots all.


    "America's Cry for Help" is just projection.

    ReplyDelete
  172. JennOfArk6:35 PM

    Also, too: there are some huge issues with proportion, almost as bad as in the laughable Sir Dead Breitbart photoshop. Look at "Al Gore" and "Rosie O'Donnell" - he's pasted huge melons on child-sized bodies. And what the fuck is up with all the people in the middle? Are they buried up to their waists in the sand, or were their legs amputated at the hip? And why are Letterman and the others in the back row only 3 feet tall, or were their legs amputated at the knee?


    McNaughton sucks donkey. No wonder art expert Sean Hannity "collects" his work, which manages to be fucking hilarious in spite of being fucking pathetic, only because it underlines the adage about fools and their money.

    ReplyDelete
  173. montag27:00 PM

    "President Mooselini."

    *shiver*

    Millman was just scared that all the "empire in decline" people would be proved right if Scary Sarah ascended to the Presidency. They and he would have been wrong, though. It would have been the fall.

    ReplyDelete
  174. montag27:01 PM

    Good.

    ReplyDelete
  175. mortimer20007:05 PM

    The guy labeled Jon Stewart (who kind of looks more like Rahm Emmanuel) gets smeared with "like most liberals, uses humor to battle Conservatives," which is actually true. Of course, for his sins, Stewart is seated next to Satan, Number One Liberal, who at least merits an uppercase "L".

    ReplyDelete
  176. montag27:11 PM

    It's going to be pretty fucking hilarious when Hannity's heirs try to auction off his art collection.

    ReplyDelete
  177. susanoftexas7:21 PM

    Not to mention Once Upon A Time.

    ReplyDelete
  178. M. Krebs8:42 PM

    What the fuck? Where are Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand? Doesn't anybody play the classics anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  179. feckless feces fluffers


    Sounds like something done with egg whites and marshmallows. Is that another Paula Deen dessert special?

    ReplyDelete
  180. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:57 PM

    the need to both identify what you've painted


    Doesn't speak well for your confidence in your abilities...
    Then again, maybe he knows his audience just doesn't do nuance, and will only get the obvious ones, like Reid and Pelosi. I didn't go to the link, but...is that Death in the black robe? Satan would be red, and standing tall, no?
    Also, is that Soupy Sales in the top row?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:59 PM

    Heh, I spotted Stewart right off, but most of the rest are clear as mud (fuckin' Impressionists). And "Satan" looks more like Death, but not the cool Discworld version...

    ReplyDelete
  182. M. Krebs12:02 AM

    I had to go to the close-up to see who Damon, Olbermann, and Piers Morgan were supposed to be. Also Couric and Lauer.

    I love what he says about Rachel Maddow: "...first openly gay anchor, but it hasn’t hurt her career and popularity among the lefties." If there's one thing we lefties hate, it's the gays.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:03 AM

    And why are there two donkeys in the quarantine area? Shirley that's not an elephant on the left, right? Though the tail does look sorta pachydermical. Awfully short, though. OK, but, if it's an elefink, WTF's it doing in there? Maybe I should click through, but I have a feeling I won't feel any more enlightened if I do.

    ReplyDelete
  184. M. Krebs12:04 AM

    Oh, you will. You will.

    ReplyDelete
  185. M. Krebs12:05 AM

    I dunno, Charles Koch III might still have some money to burn.

    ReplyDelete
  186. JennOfArk9:54 AM

    He probably wanted to include Krugman, but knew he didn't have the ability to make Clooney distinguishable from Krugman. Because he SUCKS.

    ReplyDelete
  187. StringOnAStick10:00 AM

    Adding Caribou Barbie to the ticket is when I realized that they weren't faking crazy for the sake of the rubes anymore, and had truly embraced it. Rolled around in it even.

    ReplyDelete
  188. Christ that painting znd his reasoning are awful. Why were boston, san francisco, austin, portland and seattle all left off his "number one" list?

    ReplyDelete
  189. Howlin Wolfe11:53 AM

    I know it's late, but I hate it, too. McFarlane, for all his talent, wastes the concept of cartoon satire with so much self-regard and frat-boy mentality. I don't mind fart jokes, in fact they can be really funny, a la Blazing Saddles, but a fart isn't funny per se. Cf. teh Pantload.

    ReplyDelete
  190. JennOfArk11:59 AM

    Not race-war-y enough.


    But where are the Clintons? Has he no Hillary? Has he no Bill?

    ReplyDelete
  191. Howlin Wolfe12:05 PM

    Ask The Help.

    ReplyDelete
  192. Derelict1:53 PM

    It's been two days since our dear M. Krebs left the good ship Alicublog. Search parties have not been dispatched, knowing as we do that the pestilent swamps wherein Krebs vanished in search of wango-mangoes is unlikely to yield remains.

    ReplyDelete
  193. Derelict1:59 PM

    I notice the hated NYC in the background. Interesting how New York is at once the ground-zero of everything the right despises about America. And yet, New York's heartbreaking catastrophe of 9/11 is invoked at every step to justify whatever fascist bullshit they're pushing at the moment.<br
    It's like the villain who adopts the homeless waif and beats the child mercilessly while imploring onlookers to donate money to help stop the child from being beaten.

    ReplyDelete
  194. Derelict2:01 PM

    I'm thinking the semen stains Hannity leaves on them will definitely depress their resale value.

    ReplyDelete
  195. LittlePig3:31 PM

    Tiger Tiger
    Burning Bright
    In The Mangoes
    Of The Night

    ReplyDelete
  196. LittlePig3:33 PM

    It's only a matter of time before Rule 34 kicks in.

    ReplyDelete
  197. LittlePig3:36 PM

    Hell, I had to check to see if I had seen any. Thought I had seen one - turned out to be Ben Stiller (who is kinda funny, but not funny funny like his ma and pa).

    ReplyDelete
  198. LittlePig3:39 PM

    GREEN DAY LIBEL!

    ReplyDelete