But the critical reception of [12 Years a Slave] also demonstrates a dramatic change in critics’ appreciation for violence in movies. When my husband and I viewed the movie, I found it almost unbearable to watch. It reminded me of my response to “The Passion of the Christ,” the visceral 2004 film about the suffering and death of Jesus. Both films are very good. Both films are depictions of real people in history. Both films are full not just of violence but violence that must be depicted because it serves the central point. And both films deal profoundly with the effects of human sinfulness...I wish she'd tell us what she thinks of Pasolini's Salò.
Whereas many claimed they objected to “The Passion of the Christ” on the grounds of the violence it portrayed, many critics also claimed that the violent depiction of slavery was what made “12 Years A Slave” such a great film.Hemingway thinks the liberal art people only booed The Passion to razz Christians:
...Our society is in general agreement that, apart from homophobia and racism, the only real sin is believing in sin. This creates a climate where a brutal depiction of what Christ suffered is frowned upon.Similarly, if you liked The Maltese Falcon, you have to love The Adventures of Ford Fairlaine because it's a detective movie, too. If you don't, you're hypocritical and prejudiced against Cursery Rhymes.
Bonus hackery: Hemingway tells us that though the liberal art people stuck up for 12 Years a Slave against Jesus, they are simultaneously against it ("don’t let the bullying from progressive critics or the lame protests from the professionally outraged dissuade you from seeing the film") for some unexplained reason, probably because Mollie Hemingway, a Christian, liked it. Oh, and a moment of what I wanted to believe was intentional comedy:
There was one critic who was favorable toward “Passion” and slammed “Slave.” Yes, it was Armond White.Alas, Hemingway affects to believe White was kicked out of the NYFCC for siding with Jesus, though in fact he was expelled for bad manners. It took a little training but I guess her hack reflexes are pretty well-trained at this point.
UPDATE. If Hemingway's post isn't snarly enough for you, you can read Ben Shapiro's version ("shows the rampant hypocrisy that is alive and well in Hollywood and in the media").
There was one critic who was favorable toward “Passion” and slammed “Slave.” Yes, it was Armond White.
ReplyDeleteArmond White also was favorable towards Norbit, Transformers 2 and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Is that really the horse you wanna bet on, Mollie?
I like White! He always has an interesting explanation for his favorites. (Well, except the Spielberg thing -- that's just weird.)
ReplyDeleteshows the rampant hypocrisy that is alive and well in Hollywood and in the media
ReplyDeleteShapiro always makes more sense if you imagine that he is writing about heraldry.
Rampant Hypocrisy, gules, on an azure field, above two couchant conservative scriptwriters, argent.
I have a love-hate thing for White: he's one of the few movie reviewers who can write intelligently on race or call people on their bullshit about exoticism and appropriation, but then he'll go and wholeheartedly endorse White Chicks.
ReplyDeleteThe name of Armond White has been invoked, that means I get to post this: http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/1897/armondwhiteisntinsane.jpg
ReplyDeleteMaybe at one point he was an honestly eccentric and contrarian critic, but I think these days he's just feeding off that image, saying 'shocking' things because he knows it gets people talking about him.
I think the reason Hollywood people didn't like POTC is because they couldn't do a sequel.
ReplyDeleteSo they're not going to do a Sarah Palin movie?
ReplyDeleteDespite the studio's best efforts to keep the ending a surprise, word somehow got out.
ReplyDeleteDespite antics like this, I ultimately have to feel sorry for someone whose hit list includes "Every single Pixar film."
ReplyDeleteAlso, let the record show that a lot of Mollie's most hated liberal snooty-snoots did, in fact, give the movie a bad review: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/passion_of_the_christ/reviews/?type=top_critics
ReplyDeleteBut if you actually, oh say, I know this sounds crazy but stay with me, read the reviews, a notable running theme is that a lot of critics didn't mind the Christian themes themselves so much as the sea of blood and gore Gibson drowned them in. In fact, a lot of them were disappointed that the more spiritual and religious themes were obscured by the snuff-film aspect, and that's a comparison that got used more than once. That's on Gibson, who made the film, not the people who watch it.
Really, this is an argument for getting rid of stars, letter grades, and out-of-tens when in comes to art criticism and actually reading the reviews.
What about the Inquisition? Plenty of violence there, and a lot of it towards wimmin.
ReplyDeleteJeebus, I didn't know White was still around. But there's been a burning hole in my soul since THE NEW YORK PRESS went out of business, and there was, seemingly, no other place I could read his nonsensical rantings.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I didn't have to miss him and I never got the memo.
A movie depicting the realities of slavery is pro-liberal?
ReplyDeleteThere's that subtext seeping through again...
Incidentally, if you watch BRAVEHEART and PASSION OF THE CHRIST back to back, you will conclude that Mel Gibson has, for want of a better word, issues.
ReplyDelete:-)
Don't you remember Richard Cohen's WAPO column about the movie?
ReplyDeleteHe was seriously surprised to learn that slavery may have been as bad as depicted in the film.
Yes, that was pretty amazing.
ReplyDeleteOur society is in general agreement that, apart from homophobia and racism, the only real sin is believing in sin.
ReplyDeleteWe believe in one sin... racism and believing in sin
No, two sins... homophobia, racism, and believing in sin.
We believe in three sins... homophobia, racism, believing in sin, and brutally depicting what Christ suffered.
"Both films are depictions of real people in history"
ReplyDeleteI think Jesus Christ as a real person in history is debatable.
Her overlong argument that reaction to these movies separates out the wheat from the revolting heathen chaff could have been economized by going straight to the paragraph where she gives away the game. In what I imagine is a first in a film review, she appeals to the book of Romans to prove that people are wrongfully disrespecting the movie. Because contemplating the good news of Christ taking away our sins trumps any and all discussion of the suffering by others and renders it immaterial, no matter how intense or widespread - game over, infinity plus one (literally).
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, that's religious conservatism in a nutshell right there: when faced with uncomfortable truths about social issues just close your eyes and think of Jesus.
Something something Mayan eschatology... something something Latin American dance music... something something Apocalypso.
ReplyDeleteNot that it wasn't robustly "toyetic," which is a H'wd. term meaning, generates a subsidiary business in toys, action figures, etc. The Vatican is the F.A.O. Schwartz of Christian toyeticism.
ReplyDelete"Our society is in general agreement that, apart from homophobia and racism, the only real sin is believing in sin."
ReplyDeleteThus speaketh a sulky teen arguing with her parents. Is any adult with a brain supposed to take this seriously? "Our society doesn't even BELIEVE in sin, and you never let me do ANYTHING."
You go to your room, young lady, and don't come out until you can make lucid arguments without silly generalizations.
There's a couple clips on YouTube that'll clue you in to Gibson's true nature in just a couple minutes, sugar tits.
ReplyDeleteAre you so surprised to see that the word "gratuitous" is conveniently forgotten when it's time to shovel some more red meat for the rubes?
ReplyDeleteapart from homophobia and racism
ReplyDelete"With notably rare exceptions, the only real sin is believing in sin."
I would like to share an Authorised Merchandise Vinegar-&-Aloes Milkshake with this comment.
ReplyDeleteDamn, they really know how to hold a grudge. But I guess that shouldn't be surprising, many of them aren't over the Confederacy's loss to the Union.
ReplyDeleteNorbit had an MG in it, driven by the title character. So, it was a good movie. But you have to DVR it and fast forward through the parts the car isn't in.
ReplyDeleteNobody ever expects them.
ReplyDeleteI don't doubt that Jesus was a real person in history; it's just that he's not the person who's depicted in the Bible. To be fair, though, he never claimed to be.
ReplyDeleteIn fairness, I do love black people and hate Jesus.
ReplyDeleteAlright, Salò is in my Netflix queue. Am I going to be okay?
ReplyDeleteIs the Virgin Ben's apology for POTC more debasing for Shapiro or Mel Gibson?
ReplyDeleteWhereas many claimed they objected to "Bum Fights" videos on the grounds of the violence they portrayed, many critics also claimed that the old ultraviolence was what made “A Clockwork Orange” such a great film.
ReplyDeleteOh, please. I could get Jesus 2020: The Lazarus Principle greenlit in 30 minutes.
ReplyDeleteOur society is in general agreement that, apart from homophobia and racism, the only real sin is believing in sin. This creates a climate where a brutal depiction of what Christ suffered is frowned upon.
ReplyDeleteWhich is why my Passion of Gay Nigger Jesus is gonna win Sundance and Sundays in 2014!
Why can't they sell tickets to the sequel in advance. They can call it "the Second Coming."
ReplyDeleteToo big a choking hazard. The toy kept encouraging you to ingest its small parts.
ReplyDeleteI'd watch it.
ReplyDeleteJeezus (sic) many of them aren't over being pissed at Abraham talking back to G-d.
ReplyDeleteWhereas some liked the pictures of the Ocean in Moby Dick, other people did not like the images of the Ocean in some other movie. Discuss the hypocrisy.
ReplyDeleteIf Hemingway ... isn't ... enough for you, you can read Ben Shapiro...
ReplyDeleteI could also go bob my nose with a belt sander. Yeah, think I'll do that...
Well, I do like Moby Dick a lot better than Jaws, because
ReplyDeletea.) Melville
b.) John Huston
c.) Gregory Peck
d.) Happy ending
It's appallingly awful. I had the Criterion edition, trust me.
ReplyDeleteIf you have to watch, do the dubbed version. The voices are all community theater rejects, so it makes it harder to take pretensions and the violence seriously.
How about bringing back "The Road to --" pictures? Like The Road to Damascus starring Richard Dreyfuss as the manic, irascible Saul of Tarsus and Jason Alexander as his zany tax collecting sidekick? Sarah Silverman could join them in a colorful period costume for musical numbers. Leonard "I'm the Little Jew who Wrote the Bible" Cohen could do the Voice In The Light.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever get the feeling that these people receive their instructions about topics to write about principally through their tooth fillings?
ReplyDeleteA couple of insiders and friends have suggested POTC was Mel's third choice behind his working titles "Sugarheart" and "Bravetits".
ReplyDeleteYou know how I know that no one cares about Christ? Because he doesn't get many likes on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteOr a more contemporary setting, with a biblical subtext:
ReplyDeleteYour faith was strong but you needed work
You took a bath with J. Goldberg
The bubbles floated, burst and stank swept through ya.
He tied you to his office chair
And said “Finish this, I'll be over there.
And if you need some help I'll get back to ya.
They left him for dead...but he always keeps His promises...
ReplyDeletePassion 2: Unfinished Business
upvote x 10^e.
ReplyDeleteMad Max was a documentary.
ReplyDeleteSo I read the Hemingway and I wish I'd seen either of these movies so I could explain the ways in which she's a nitwit, instead of just knowing that's the conclusion all the evidence is gonna point to once I look at it.
ReplyDeleteI do know she can't proceed the way she does, i.e., as if because both movies show history-fact whippings, it gives away everything that commie-lib critics reacted differently to them.
Is she really unaware that movies are constructs? And that movie critics deal with them as such? What tone the filmmaker establishes running up to the flogging scene, what value he or she places on each lash -- are the wounds themselves the point of the scene? Or does its point lie in the interaction between lasher and lashee? -- there's a lot going on in a movie other than "showing what happened," and my gosh, Hemingway, if you're going to review culture, that's the kind of thing you should be aware of. The thousand artistic decisions contributing to a movie aren't ancillary to the action; they are in fact entirely what the action is made of -- and arguably they're what the action is for.
I mean Jesus, if Lloyd Kaufman gave us a shot-for-shot remake of Saving Private Ryan, it seems like Hemingway would be gnashing her teeth over the reviews. "What has happened to America? In 1998, critics applauded veterans in Saving Private Ryan. Today, those critics have turned on our real-life heroes by hating the exact same movie."
...only if you are a Republican.
ReplyDeletePart Deus.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, according to Megyn Whatshername, Jesus was a white dude, so two birds with one stone.
ReplyDeleteI like the White guy's excuse for why he got kicked out of the critics' treehouse. "I'm too much of a rebel, that's why the squares wanted to get rid of me. I am, indeed, far too cool for those lame-o's and their dumb ol' treehouse."
ReplyDeleteAlso, POTC came out in 2004, a decade ago. Have the deep creative wingnut well not come up with a new film to get all butthurt about?
300. The Dark Knight movies. Really, the wonder of this year is that the wingnuts didn't come up with another film to get butthurt about, though I suspect Lone Survivor shows promise.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the knockoff porn version.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea was that as soon as the paradox "no sin but believing in sin" was pronounced, liberals would all be forced to self-destruct from fried logic circuiits like the evil robots in those early Star Trek episodes. ("Norman, co-ordinate!")
ReplyDelete"18 Teenagers: One Banquet of Poop"
ReplyDeleteSort of like Yogi Berra, who famously declared, "You know I never said half the things I said, including this saying."
ReplyDeleteI preferred the plot of Mobius Dick, because of the endless twists.
ReplyDeleteBob's yer uncle, not your nose.
ReplyDeletethe visceral 2004 film
ReplyDeleteWait what? There was a film about internal organs? Why was I not informed?
The Lazarus Principle
ReplyDeleteDives as whacky sidekick DO NOT WANT.
I hate to be fair to Cohen, but...I kind of knew what he meant. He expressed it very poorly, because, in spite of having one of the world's cushiest writing jobs, he's a really shitty writer, but: obviously, intellectually, everyone knows slavery was evil. But it's one thing to KNOW it, and another thing to really FEEL it on a gut level, and I don't wholly blame someone for not being able to do the latter without some kind of concrete picture to grasp onto. We primates aren't, as a rule, too good with abstractions. Narrative really, really helps.
ReplyDeleteI must admit: I've always been disdainful of Confederacy apologists of all stripes, but after seeing that movie, the next time I saw a car with a Confederate flag ('cause why the hell WOULDN'T you want one of those in fucking Pennsylvania?) I felt an extra frisson of revulsion and horror.
There'll be HEAVENLY BOSOMS.
ReplyDeleteThey could have the sequel end with a Fight Club/Kaiser Soze-esque reveal ending when humble author Q realizes that the entire Jesus character was just a fictional conglomerate of previous myths. Now that would be an ending befitting Liberal Hollywood ™
ReplyDeleteSince there were crazy religious fuckers long before there were dentists or shortwave, I don't think that's the point of reception. I sort of subscribe to Sam Deed's line in "Happy Accidents": "Religion goes out of favor in 2033 when science discovers the gene that regulates fear."
ReplyDeleteOur society is in general agreement that, apart from homophobia and racism, the only real sin is believing in sin.
ReplyDeleteHey wait HANG ON. Lots of us lieberals believe greed is a sin. Michelle Obama believes sloth is a sin, I bet, and Michael Bloomberg in gluttony. Pride? WE'RE NOT PROUD OF AMERICA NEITHER.
We'll spot you lust.
Mobius Dick, the infamous movie without an ending?
ReplyDeleteCaused a shoot out in the theater. No, i guess even that isnt all that memoranle anymore.
ReplyDeleteLike Spurgeon's Commentary, we're Morocco-bound
ReplyDeleteGonna go with Roger Ebert on Passion of the Christ (and regret I won't see his review of Twenty Years a Slave); as for Virgin Ben I wonder how much his owners are paying him to ignore the anti-Semitism, which was remarked on even then.
ReplyDeletetoys, action figures
ReplyDeleteMachina ex Deus.
Is there some other way of choosing blog topics?
ReplyDeleteHighbrow porn film.
ReplyDeleteI just saw Jesus today; gave his kids flu shouts. Also saw Julio and Carlos. They said to say hi.
ReplyDeleteHe gave His blood for you...now he's gonna get some of it back.
ReplyDeleteTake this, all of you, and keep it from children less than six years old...
ReplyDeleteNow I want a Moby Dick / Finnegans Wake mash-up.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking more Moby Dick/Dhalgren.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't a movie about performances, although it has powerful ones, or about technique, although it is awesome, or about cinematography (although Caleb Deschanel paints with an artist's eye), or music (although John Debney supports the content without distracting from it).
ReplyDeleteIt is a film about an idea. An idea that it is necessary to fully comprehend the Passion if Christianity is to make any sense. Gibson has communicated his idea with a singleminded urgency.
That's an excerpt - arguably the money quote - from Roger Ebert's four star review of POTC. Ebert was a card-carrying liberal in addition to being a cineaste. Obviously he missed the memo that he was supposed to be suppressing it.
Among our sins are...
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that when you start a question with "Don't you remember Richard Cohen's WAPO column" odds are the answer will be "No." Some memories are just to painful not to repress.
ReplyDeleteWeirdly enough, the Point Blank remake Payback starred Mel Gibson.
ReplyDeleteHe makes cogent points here and there, but his intolerance for opinions different from his own puts me off. For example he railed against the praise garnered by Southland Tales, an interesting if not entirely successful film that got, like, five good reviews. You'd think he'd at least honor fellow contrarians.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I saw you and Julio down by the schoolyard.
ReplyDeleteSome might get butthurt over An American Carol, but even most wingnuts didn't seem to bother with it. Falls into the "there is some shit I will not eat" category.
ReplyDeleteOur society is in general agreement that, apart from homophobia and racism, the only real sin is believing in sin.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about her opinion on homophobia and racism. Does she join the consensus (that I would love to believe exists, but don't) and believe they are sins?
If I were to create of list of sinful things, those two really would be a good place to start. Once you look at what those things have in common, you could combine them and many other sins down to, "don't be an asshole." That would cover most of what I consider sinful.
Yes.
ReplyDeleteThat would work too. A threesome of Moby and Ahab and a nameless drifter, in a post-apocalyptic city at the end of time. Lots of harpooning.
ReplyDelete"Call me 'Anything but Late for Dinner.'"
ReplyDeleteBut slavery *is* a sin. The movie shows you that. Maybe some sex acts are no longer considered sins but what is a sin and what isnt changes all the time. Catholicks eat meat on fridays now. But they atent supposed to keep slaves.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the root definition of sin has changed that much, but I think people have gradually paid less attention to lists of things they were told are sinful and more attention to what the rabbis said: ""That which is hateful to you, do
ReplyDeletenot do to your neighbor."
Of course some people like Hemingway still prefer to have clearly defined lists rather than looking at the gestalt of her scriptures.
Whereas many claimed they objected to “The Passion of the Christ” on the grounds of the violence it portrayed
ReplyDeleteThe objections weren't due to the violence, but to depictions of Jews that seemed to be lifted straight from "The Protocols".
When the movie came out, I was going out with a lovely girl from a suburb of Krakow (picture Pope John Paul 2 pontifical boogaloo as a hot 25 year old girl and you'd get a good idea of what she looked like- same pleasant Polish "moon face"). She went to see the movie with a friend of hers after her English class and, when I met her after work a couple of hours later, she asked me, "Are my eyes still red from crying?"
It hit me then- The Passion of the Christ was not only a movie about a guy who was tortured and killed over the course of hours, but the guy suffering was someone whose picture was on the wall of the audience members... it was a movie about a guy they kinda knew getting killed.
I'd watch the hell out of "Brave Tits".
ReplyDeleteIn fact, a lot of them were disappointed that the more spiritual and religious themes were obscured by the snuff-film aspect
ReplyDeleteThe snuff-film aspect was a feature, not a bug. It was all fanservice for fanatics.
Theologic Boogalo
ReplyDeleteHeraldry jokes, awesome. Boutell's wasn't any help, but I don't think you need to specify the tincture of the last charge.
ReplyDeleteLiberals don't believe that liking Dick pics is a sin.
ReplyDeleteAlso, too, Anthony Wiener's... uh, wiener...
Finnegans Dick! (Pasolini)
ReplyDelete"Start her, start her, my men! Don't hurry yourselves; take plenty of time- but start her; start her like thunder claps, that's all cried Stubb, spluttering out the smoke as he spoke
"Look about you Tutty Comyn!
Remember and recall, Kullykeg!
Look at Lokman! whatbetween the two cupgirls and platterboys the director's been a' mortared on the strand. Stranded, Amortized by Fiat. Motored.
A nexistence of vividence!
Typical Hollywood anti-religionating. At the same time, I eagerly await the release of Darren Aronofsky's epic Noah (or maybe that's Noah!) starring Russell Crowe as the ark builder and Anthony Hopkins as himself. You can hear the gnashing of teeth already.
ReplyDeleteAlthough 'The Second Coming' boasts some stunning special effects, it fails because of uneven performances -- the best (Robert DeNiro as the Antichrist) lack all conviction, while the worst (Shia LeBouef as the Falconer) are full of passionate intensity. This is a movie that should slouch towards pay-per-view in a couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteThey're pissed that he let his son get up off that altar, as it showed weakness, thus continuing the feminization process of man started by eve.
ReplyDeleteThey show it at the Mobius Dick Tavern, a low dive with continuous entertainment.
ReplyDelete"you could combine them and many other sins down to, "don't be an asshole." "
ReplyDeleteWell, that IS the Golden Rule, basically.
As Hillel said, "Don't be an asshole. The rest is commentary."
ReplyDelete“Sugarheart” was a Pixar affair, starring all the Care Bears.
ReplyDeleteMainly I get the feeling they were first written in poo then transcribed by someone who’s not a screeching monkey.
ReplyDeleteWow, that flick has the potential to be a classic in the mould of Edward G. Robinson in The Ten Commandments.
ReplyDeleteWhere's your rain clouds now, Noah?
More like 10^ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.
ReplyDeleteThis comment sees what you have written, and calls it good.
ReplyDeleteIsn't The Lazarus Principle just a different version of Weekend at Bernies?
ReplyDeleteElephant, Or, affronté .
ReplyDeleteBut the follow on from that point, which I think is really interesting, is that Mel Gibson and his critical followers (that is the critics who promoted the movie) had a very specific goal in mind vis a vis those "friends." The movie was explicitly aimed at refreshing and reloading their sense that Jesus didn't just die for their sins but died horribly, interminably, suffering. And that his suffering was unrelieved by people just like them at the time. So its like going to a movie about the death of your grandfather and discovering that he had died in a horrible fashion, tortured to death by the people around him, including your parents and that nice doctor and nurse.
ReplyDeleteOf course you could leave even such a movie with a renewed gratitude towards Jesus and without any particular animus towards his murderers but that depends on the way the movie itself was crafted and Mel Gibson specifically chose to craft the movie around a long time anti-semitic proposition that the Jews weren't simply playing their part in a passion play but actively bringing about and delighting in the suffering of Jesus. The right sequel, for Mel Gibson, is in fact called something like "He Rises: Payback's a Bitch!"
Another example is how liberals invented 'drapetomania'.
ReplyDeleteNot to forget Eddison's masterpiece, The Whale Ouroboros.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds so horrificly wrong that I will make a point to see it.
ReplyDeleteOur society is in general agreement
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think by the time she got that far, she was already completely wrong?
Oh, very good! I mean to order the book on the history of the DSM for just this reason. But I would like to add that drapetomania was the brainchild of just one guy and it comes after mere explanations that running away from one's master was a "sin" and is kind of inclusive of it. Remember that the slaveowners at first refused to permit slaves to become christian on the grounds that this would encourage the slaves to demand equality with white people and debates back and forth about whether black people had souls, were included in the convent or damned as sons of Ham etc..etc..etc..
ReplyDeleteAfter slaves were permitted to convert to christianity, or to practice christianity, there was plenty of emphasis on the master/servant relationship as a biblical commandment and on rejection of hierarchy and servitude as actual sins. But still another logical explanation had to be found to salve the conscience of slave owners when, as they saw it, they had offered all this bounty and goodness to their slaves and slaves still reacted violently or by running away. In that sense "drapetomania" (I think, because I haven't read more than a passing thing about this) falls into a theory of mania/insanity which, because its thought of as a disease, doesn't need to be prayed away and doesn't call into question master/servant relationships.
Iodine
ReplyDelete"Anthony Hopkins as himself"
ReplyDeleteWait ... Anthony Hopkins was in the Bible? I knew he was pretty old, but I had no idea.
I know i'm revealing how ignorant a longtime ex Christian can be about the Bible, but doesn't Noah get shitfaced and naked on the boat? And shouldn't that part go to Nolte by default?
ReplyDeleteIt was very common for Catholics to be told by the priest and nuns about this or that personal suffering in ones life to 'offer it to Jesus as a sacrifice'. In other words, do with your problems what Jesus did with the sins of the world. It does make a sort of theological sense.
ReplyDeleteThe success of the movie has caused an uptick in the market for used copies of the book it was based on. Usually 6 months or so after being a best-seller a book usually has a low value in the used market, but not in this case.
ReplyDeleteWe were somewhere around Damascus on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive….” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of light……………..
ReplyDelete“Never mind,” I said. “It’s your turn to drive.” I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning the light, I thought. The poor bastard will see it soon enough.
Please tell me that it is based on this version.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Log_of_the_Ark
He plays Methuselah. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteBen, tho, is nobody's uncle, and nobody's sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteIf I watched those two movies back-to-back or separately, or any other way than than through the agency of physical coercion, I'd think I have issues!
ReplyDeleteI have simply never been able to accept movies as entertainment. They make me nervous, or I feel embarrassed to watch them.
That Cohen can be such a shallow thinker, and hold down that job? Doesn't amaze me any more.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to build an library to contain that comment!
ReplyDeleteYes he does, which is why God punished him by only letting him live for six or seven hundred years. Nolte would be perfect for the part.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they sell tickets to the sequel in advance.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who gets forwarded lots of fundigelical newletters, let me assure you: they do.
I would like to make the rough beast with two backs with this comment.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we know.
ReplyDeleteAnd a Mickey Rourke cameo.
ReplyDeleteNo, he gets shitfaced and naked well after the Flood is over. 'Cause after you've spent a century building an enormous boat, and more than four months locked in it with a whole bunch of wild animals, what's left for your twilight years except drinking heavily?
ReplyDeleteShould've gone to Christopher Walken instead.
ReplyDelete"Yeah, I'm gonna live to 969, baby. And that's not a coincidence, IYKWIMAITYD."
Yeah. I agree. That's what kickstarter is for, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI know, I agree with this even though I really despise Cohen as a writer, thinker, and human being. It was pretty clear that he was setting up a straw man, alas all too close to his real self, so he could take it down to praise the significance of th emovie.
ReplyDeleteI saw it. It was torture porn. Gross.
ReplyDeleteIt was also conspicuously anti-Semitic.
If bestiality was out of the question.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to figure out what fraction of my life I've spent naked and drunk.
ReplyDeleteIf there's a penalty I doubt I'll make it to sixty.
I wouldn't doubt some HW money people tried to tell him to end the flick with JC still on the cross, blood dripping down on someone or other.
ReplyDeleteBut you just knew somebody was gonna do it anyway, right?">
A Venn diagram would be helpful here.
ReplyDelete(Peter's dream, not Paul's, but your point stands.)
ReplyDeleteGrowing up as a Southern Baptist, I was constantly told about how silly those Jews were with their legalisms. Didn't they know that because Jesus said love was the most important thing we could now eat bacon cheeseburgers?
As Fred points out, the fundies take the most narrow, legalistic reading of Acts possible, and completely miss the point of the chapter as a whole.
Dick pics? Like Blade Runner?
ReplyDeleteI can't understand how a guy Cohen's age managed to miss Roots. It was about seven hours long, and was pretty well-advertised.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to offer Jesus my next bout of bloody diarrhea as a sacrifice, but I have a suspicion that it would be returned to sender, addressee unknown.
ReplyDeleteIt is usually the case that #{N v D} > #{N ^ D}.
ReplyDeleteIf #{N v D} = #{N ^ D}, you're either doing something wrong, or very very right.
If #{N v D} < #{N ^ D}, see a logician immediately.
I thought you based yours on the entoptic phenomena picture show?
ReplyDeleteReally, this is an argument for getting rid of stars, letter grades, and
ReplyDeleteout-of-tens when in comes to art criticism and actually reading the
reviews.
It's weird: normally, religious conservatives are quite resistant to things with letters or numbers in them.
Our society is just barely in general agreement abut hemlines, tie widths, or what to have for breakfast...
ReplyDeleteIn the hands of competent producer/directors, Dick has a pretty decent good movie/waste-of-an-evening-and-25-fucking-bucks ratio. Contrary to popular belief, he was quite happy with Ridley Scott.
ReplyDeleteDick fully backed the film [after viewing some footage, and talking with Scott] , stating that his "life and creative work are justified and completed by Blade Runner."
Good thing they let him see it, because he croaked it four months later...
Also too, Steve Goodman didn't write a song about Jaws...
ReplyDeleteAnd a bitch to load in the projector, I hear...
ReplyDelete'The Harrowing of Hell" is more of a Michael Bay job. Lotsa CGI and explosions.
ReplyDeleteSo now you can expect shoot-outs in the 2nd-hand bookshops?
ReplyDeleteSalo is must viewing, if you didn't already think fascists were sexually fucked up.
ReplyDelete"I found you, Fred Silverman! I found you!"
ReplyDeleteNot quite, but I've been scanning donations to the local Friends of the Library 2nd-hand sales for almost a year.
ReplyDeleteIt's through a company that sells high-demand 2nd-hand books that the scanner(actually a Dell PA with a laser scanner attached) recognizes, we send the books, they sell them off on Amazon, and they send us a check once a month or so.
I've never had a best-seller pop up as high-demand until yesterday with a hardcover copy of "Sole Survivor".
Given how the boat would have smelled, I would think drinking heavily started about a week into the forty days.
ReplyDelete"Keith Richards turn as Methuselah was widely hailed for its depth of understanding of the role..."
ReplyDeleteMight be funny if thr wingnut appetite for red meat increases the pool of money available to libraries.
ReplyDeleteRuss Meyer already made that under a different name.
ReplyDeleteJaws didn't have a happy ending? Wasn't it a romantic comedy?
ReplyDeleteMy apologies for mixing up the apostles. I wish they'd just been given numbers, like the characters in The Prisoner.
ReplyDeleteAll three identities are true if N and D are the empty set.
ReplyDeleteThis just in: Obama disses football, boosts pot. He's done.
ReplyDeleteYou mean he won't be re-elected?
ReplyDeleteThat's actually the case covered by "doing at least one of those things wrong." The cardinality of the empty set is zero, and zero is not strictly greater than or strictly less than itself. Presumably, you thought I was using subsets rather than ranking ... Oh, god, I am a fatuous pedant, am I not?** In my defense, Foundations of Math is one of the courses which saved my grade point average that semester. Oh, god, that's in my defense?
ReplyDelete**"Am I not?" Oh, god, I am a fatuous pedant, am I not?**
Worse: He's one incident of eating pizza with a fork away from impeachment.
ReplyDeleteAh OK, I thought you were using < and > as stand ins for ⊂ and ⊃.
ReplyDeleteIf it even takes that! Faux Papas, or Faux pas, they'll get him.
ReplyDeleteYou can't put gules on azure -- colours on metals only!
ReplyDeleteOkay, but no slouching. Posture!
ReplyDelete