Friday, September 13, 2013

REPUBLICO AD ABSURDUM.

Michelle Obama is encouraging people to drink more water.

Wait for it...
Regardless of the wisdom of public-health campaigns launched by the first lady in general, this one is silly in its own right: There isn’t good scientific evidence that people should drink more water. The first lady’s claim that one more glass of water per day will “make a real difference” for “your energy” and “how you feel” is homeopathy, not public health. (Who’s the party of science, again?)
That's Patrick Brennan, who apparently picked the short straw at National Review.

Next up: Michelle Obama tells us to breathe deep, and National Review warns of the "unintended consequences" of hyperventilation.

UPDATE. In comments, tinheart: "'h2Obama? No thanks! Give me a cool class of Chromium (Cr). Ted Cruz 2016!'"

Several commenters suggest the First Lady start other common-sense drives, such as Don't Stick a Fork in a Light Socket and Don't Whack Yourself in the Crotch, so conservatives will stick forks in light sockets and whack themselves in the crotch. No, no, it would only end up hurting the little people --  Brennan would write about it, but in the end it'd be those poor saps in the tricorner harts and knee breeches who'd be contusing and electrocuting themselves. I realize my lack of ruthlessness goes to the heart of the liberal dilemma.

But then, this may be happening regardless: Commenter D Johnston tells me Brennan's commenters are actually talking about how you can hurt yourself by drinking too much water -- a ridiculously remote possibility that these doofuses now treat as a clear and present danger ("without clear guidelines this is actually a dangerous suggestion") because Moochelle. I can imagine them fainting in the hot sun, their last coherent thought "can't let the socialists overhydrate me," a LIVE FREE AND DRY banner clutched in their blistered hands.

202 comments:

  1. Scott P.10:21 AM

    Well, it is true that the frequent admonishment to drink 8 glasses of water a day is based on no scientific evidence. There's no reason to think that people aren't drinking enough water. (Ensuring access to clean water is a different question, of course).

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  2. edroso10:23 AM

    [retucks shirt]

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  3. Bethany Spencer10:24 AM

    THAT BITCH.

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  4. Mr. Wonderful10:29 AM

    No, Pat, see, drinking a glass of water with a drop of iodine in it--THAT'S homeopathy. Drinking a regular glass of water--that's "health," however specious. And as the Jews at National Review (there are some, alas) would say, "it couldn' hoit."

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  5. YM Brennan don't live in teh Southwest, does he? Or outside his basement....

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  6. calling all toasters10:36 AM

    That 8 oz. of fluid is the difference between a socialist 24 oz. soda and a Big Freaking Gulp O' Freedom. And Mistress Obama wants us to fill that gap with government fluoridated water?

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  7. sharculese10:39 AM

    I'm not going to read the article to find why the url for the first article is "lady people drink plain water" because any explanation would ruin the magic.

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  8. sharculese10:40 AM

    And also too, that little 'party of science' jab at the end is just wonderful, because much like the 'what war on women?' shtick, you can tell how much it rankles them that that shit has caught on in the public consciousness and there's absolutely fucking nothing they can do about it.

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  9. The worst that can be said about her advice, then, is that it's anodyne. Which is perfectly consistent with your basic First Lady Must Do Something Useful work--or rather is the very essence of it. There was not a hell of a lot of science behind Nancy Reagan's anti-drug campaign, either. For about two seconds I was actually fooled into thinking this was really about the health benefits of water. But it is not. Next week she may venture to suggest that water is also wet, and the same people will find some specious reason for saying she doesn't have the authority to make such a statement. Odd, that.

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  10. coozledad10:57 AM

    Next up: Michelle Obama tells us to breathe deep

    Oddly enough, that's good advice, too. For some reason it helps to lower your blood pressure.


    I've tested this with a digital blood pressure monitor, and I.ve been able to reduce my systolic pressure in the short term by ten or fifteen points by doing some facsimile of yogic breathing. I don't know how long the effect lasts.


    Maybe you could achieve the same results by huffing pure oxygen, which is also supposedly good for hangovers.

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  11. Jeffrey_Kramer10:58 AM

    This is why so many of us have urged the First Lady -- or, better yet, the Kenyan Usurper himself -- to start a serious "Don't Whack Yourself In The Crotch" campaign.

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  12. Mark_Bzzzz10:59 AM

    I'm just hoping that the right wingers restrict their water intake to spite Mrs. Obama and get kidney stones.

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  13. coozledad11:01 AM

    Or the "Let's Move (into the path of an oncoming truck) campaign.

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  14. BigHank5311:03 AM

    What, you didn't hear about the Great Dehydration Scourge?


    Though to be serious, it's a teeny bit more than anodyne. Someone who drinks twelve ounces of water is going to be a little bit less likely to grab that can of soda. Diet or not, the only stuff in it that is good for you is the damn water, which you can usually get for free. The most recent stats I could find put soda production at 550 cans per year for every person in the country--I think we could stand to drink less of the crap. And let's not even talk about the 500-calorie options available at Starbucks. They might as well be liquified cheesecake.

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  15. XeckyGilchrist11:08 AM

    I was gonna say. Exhortations to drink more water, even if silly, don't undo the "Jesus on a dinosaur saddle" thing.

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  16. tinheart11:09 AM

    "h2Obama? No thanks! Give me a cool class of Chromium (Cr). Ted Cruz 2016!"

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  17. XeckyGilchrist11:10 AM

    This is all a plot by the Brawndo Corporation.

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  18. I know this isn't about water but about skreeee skreeee. I will admit though, the steady drumbeat to drink more water is pretty annoying and not rooted in anything scientific, only a desire to sell more Dasani. [retucks shirt]

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  19. dstatton11:10 AM

    Yes, the reason that she did not recommend switching from sodas is the inevitable reaction she would get. So, drinking more water means less sodas.

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  20. zencomix11:11 AM

    Fluoridation for some, miniature American flags for others.

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  21. Emily6811:13 AM

    Plus if Michelle Obama said we should all breath deep, Republicans would stop breathing altogether and turn blue. That would be good for a couple of different ways.

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  22. dstatton11:13 AM

    I've always assumed that "8 glasses" meant the equivalent, which includes water consumed in food.

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  23. Gabriel Ice11:16 AM

    Right, I'm going to drink a gallon of corn syrup and stand outside in the 99F Texas sun because FREEDOM!

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  24. You know that joke about Michelle Obama recommending that people not stick forks into light sockets, just to see what the Republicans would do? I'm not sure it's a joke - I would legitimately like to see the reaction. Probably something about paternalism.

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  25. Well, it's also true that megadoses of Vitamin C have no known health benefits.


    I'm sorry, I thought we were discussing the validity of statements that no one actually made.

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  26. calling all toasters11:23 AM

    Brain death cannot hurt them.

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  27. From the comments, with eight upvotes:


    The same group of people who railed against Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" campaign because it was too simplistic, will now embrace an idiot in the White House who's schilling for homeopathic remedies like she's a host on QVC.


    I really didn't think right-wing talking points could get any weirder than they did in the Clinton years, but...

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  28. reallyaimai11:23 AM

    They've been hocking us a chainik for a long, long time about drinking more water, long before bottled water, even. But no doubt the nefarious (and I really mean that) borrowed/reused/recycled/aluminum water bottle corpoprations are behind Michelle Obama's dastardly move.

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  29. reallyaimai11:25 AM

    Beautiful. I'm now going to collect these bits of found poetry. U r Ur URL, R u?

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  30. XeckyGilchrist11:25 AM

    Yup. If Mrs. Obama backed this up with the multibillion-dollar militarization of the entire country's police forces, shredding the Fourth Amendment, radically increasing imprisonment rates, and wall-to-wall shitty propaganda to the point of getting water-drinking talking points written into TV shows, I'd be more inclined to agree.


    (Plus - which Schilling? Peter?)

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  31. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:25 AM

    I'm pretty sure it does. Still, "water is pretty good for you" is a completely inoffensive (and true) statement, is it not?

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  32. reallyaimai11:26 AM

    But..but...people can die from drinking too much water. Something something upsetting the electolyte balance.


    The pushback on this reminds me of Reagan asserting that the pollution caused by trees is worse than the pollution caused by, you know, pollution.

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  33. XeckyGilchrist11:26 AM

    Indeed. It makes me wonder if Mrs. Obama is trolling. I'd be awfully tempted, if I were her.

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  34. edroso11:27 AM

    If I told you to chill out, would you a.) show me scientific papers finding that in some circumstances it's better not to chill out; b.) accuse me of shilling for the anti-anxiety pharmaceutical market; c.) chill out?

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  35. reallyaimai11:28 AM

    I used to back this plan but then I realized that they wouldn't actually throw themselves under the truck or hold their breaths until they turned blue and died. They'd just bitch about it endlessly and propose that someone, somewhere, should do something.

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  36. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:28 AM

    No-one ever said the media don't talk down to the public.

    "Lady: People Drink Plain Water! Reps Have Sad. More At 11"

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  37. reallyaimai11:29 AM

    I was just thinking bout Brawndo this morning when I noticed that my hair gel has electrolytes.

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  38. Oh God, the comments. They're actually arguing that Michelle Obama is putting people's lives in jeopardy:

    The military found out the hard way that you can drink too much water. Using what was then called the "Over Drink" procedure...This caused over-hydration, blew out their electrolytes, and caused what is called Water Intoxication. It can be fatal. It did mess up some people before the military got wise to it.

    Without clear guidelines this is actually a dangerous suggestion. It's of course a good thing to replace bad liquids, i.e. soda with water and that would "make you feel better" potentially but if you have eliminated salt from your diet like Bloomberg was pushing AND you drink more water, whatever that means, you can lower your blood sodium levels.


    How did we get from "drink a glass of water" to "OMG WATER INTOXICATION! STOP DRINKING WATER!" It's like saying that telling people to drink less alcohol is hazardous because ethanol withdrawl is potentially dangerous. I'd like to follow that train of thought more closely, but I'm not sure I could survive the combination of narcotics I'd have to take.

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  39. reallyaimai11:31 AM

    Look at the hysterics over Obama's brief message to the kids about staying in school? There is literally nothing so anodyne that the rwnj won't have a complete and utter meltdown over it. They started out by objecting to big things--like Al Gore and Obama's Peace Prize and now they are down to ranting and raving about things like his hair color or the shoes on the desk or even whether he smiles at some baby or not.

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  40. reallyaimai11:32 AM

    Heh! I predicted this below. I must have had a secret authoritarian lobotomy while I wasn't looking.

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  41. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:34 AM

    Democrat: "Water is good for you!"

    Republican "MY CALCULATIONS SHOW IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE FOR THE FLOOD TO HAVE WIPED OUT THE SINS OF MAN"

    Science!

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  42. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:35 AM

    Ketchup is a vegetable, hippies.

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  43. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:36 AM

    They already do that whenever they want Obama to cut spending. Next, they'll thcream and thcream until they're thick*


    *wow, that works both ways

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  44. Halloween_Jack11:38 AM

    And, see, if Michelle Obama gave "clear guidelines", then ZOMG NANNY STATE.

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  45. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:39 AM

    To get Water Intoxication you have to:

    a) drink metric fucktons of water
    b) work yourself into a sweat the likes of which we do not see outside Right Guard commercials.

    Somehow I think this does not apply to anyone outside the military and long-distance marathon runners.

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  46. CRY FREEDOM™ AND LET SLIP THE FRACKERS OF YORE!

    (I tried to think of some way to make that Al Gore, but I couldn't...even when I looked at it sideways.)

    ~

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  47. Freshly Squeezed Cynic11:45 AM

    Weirdly, the war on drugs ties into water intoxication in the case of Leah Betts, who died of drinking 7 litres of water in 90 minutes, but was the subject of a mass media moral panic when it turned out she'd been on ecstasy.

    Strangely, the water intoxication part got left out of most of the news stories.

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  48. Bethany Spencer11:45 AM

    I'm sorry...did Michelle say "drink one more glass of water" or "drink water til your internal organs explode?"

    Which one? Because admittedly the latter is not good advice.

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  49. shortstop11:53 AM

    And yet when defenders of our nation and freedom wanted to give our enemies a tall cool glass served over a nice cloth, Nobama started screaming about torture and shit. This is the most hypocritical administration in the history of the universe.

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  50. XeckyGilchrist11:53 AM

    Water is so poisonous that keyboard kommandos should definitely continue not to bathe, too.

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  51. And usually hyponatremia(the specific medical term for water intoxication, reflecting the low level of sodium in blood plasma levels) is found in marathon runners who drink water without

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  52. gocart mozart12:05 PM

    If you drink too much water you could drown. Why is the first lady trying to drown our children!

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  53. Spaghetti Lee12:09 PM

    Fuck water. Drink Brawndo.

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  54. gocart mozart12:09 PM

    fish against water is ironic also.

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  55. Bethany Spencer12:18 PM

    Wait. Is Obama a baby-racist?

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  56. The only case of water intoxication I remember aside from the above-mentioned case of someone on ecstasy was a schizophrenic woman who thought that drinking the water would wash out cancer that she feared was developing in her lungs.

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  57. synykyl12:23 PM

    You can lead a horse's ass to water, but you can't make him drink.

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  58. redoubt12:37 PM

    Purity of Essence. More vitamins, less vitriol

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  59. synykyl12:46 PM

    The "drink up" campaign is more about getting people to cut down on sugary beverages than it is about drinking more water. They just decided to emphasize the positive effects of drinking water instead of haranging people about soda and other sweetened drinks.

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  60. bourbaki12:51 PM

    Don't forget the "Hold your wee for a wii" lady.

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  61. mortimer200012:53 PM

    One of the commenters at NRO is claiming that drinking more water is dangerous because "most doctors today realize that thirst is the best indicator of whether you are hydrated or not." Where would we be without modern medicine, huh? (Although I do wonder about those other doctors who haven't awakened to this remarkable "thirst" thing yet.)

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  62. Yeah, I thought that she was killed by uremic poisoning, another possibility if you ignore the body signal that a fluid dump is needed.

    The astronomer Tycho was said to have died of a burst bladder because he was at a banquet and didn't want to get up and relieve himself, so you can put on the list as well.

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  63. Geo X1:16 PM

    Drinking absurdly massive amounts of water at one go may kill you, but I have to assume that doing the same with soda--which is basically sugar water--would have the same effect. Am I wrong? Can we get wingers to pound down a half dozen six-liter bottles of coke at a go to find out, and prove the perfidiousness of the Nobamas into the bargain?

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  64. whetstone1:17 PM

    I would be more supportive of the effort if it were "drink more coffee, and good coffee--like, a light roast, from someone who knows what they're doing*--so you don't have to put all that shit in it," but yes: what BigHank said.


    *In fairness I live in Chicago, where between Intelligentsia and Metropolis and some excellent smaller roasters (Dark Matter, Asado), we might have the best coffee in the country. The only place I've been to that might be better is Blue Bottle in SF.

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  65. whetstone1:18 PM

    Boy oh boy are they gonna be pissed when she rolls out her "eat more nutmeg" campaign.

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  66. JennOfArk1:20 PM

    Yeah. Kinda like the "caffeine dehydrates you" thing. While I don't doubt that there is some grain of truth there, if you don't apply at least some logic to the idea, you come away with a completely wrong idea. For example, a girl I know who is a nurse made the "caffeine dehydrates you" statement to me in response to my comment that I drink from a half to a full liter of ice tea per day (lightly sweetened with carcinogenic Sweet-n-Low). I said, well, yeah but...common sense tells me that if I was out in the middle of the scorching desert with only a few gallons of iced tea to drink, I'd fare a lot better than someone out in the scorching desert with nothing to drink. So what you're saying is that the caffeine in the tea partially offsets the hydrating properties of the water, because clearly I'm not going to shrivel up more quickly than the guy who has nothing to drink. In other words, caffeine does not "dehydrate" you.

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  67. JennOfArk1:33 PM

    Better yet - have them pound down a half dozen six-liter bottles of Diet Coke, followed by ten packages of Mentos.

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  68. chuckling1:39 PM

    I'm pretty sure the theory is that if people drink more water they'll drink fewer sugary drinks, but she can't say that for fear of raising the ire of the sugary drink lobby.

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  69. sharculese1:43 PM

    I haven't ever been to Chicago (well, not since I was 15), but I was in Montana a couple weeks ago and was shocked by the high quality of their coffee.

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  70. sharculese1:46 PM

    Yeah, but she didn't specify what type of glass. Does she mean a juice glass or this old Big Gulp cup I found. Impossible to tell.

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  71. So waterboarding isn't torture, but water drinking is?

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  72. Freshly Squeezed Cynic1:56 PM

    You can be waterboarded voluntarily, whilst water drinking is being shoved down our throats by the liberal agenda.

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  73. Jay B.1:57 PM

    I thought she should have called her campaign "I'd Tap That".

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  74. DocAmazing2:04 PM

    When you're back in SF, try Phil'z. Come for the flavor, stay for the buzz.

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  75. ADHDJ2:05 PM

    Me, I'm a hydrogen gas man. All the H without any of the O.

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  76. stepped_pyramids2:09 PM

    The recurring remarks about homeopathy make no sense at all, even for a right-wing talking point.

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  77. DocAmazing2:16 PM

    Yes, caffeine does contribute to dehydration if it is not offset with relatively large doses of water. Caffeine is a diuretic, and you will pee out more of your blood volume than you are replenishing if your source of caffeine is concentrated (coffee, some colas). If your source of caffeine is dilute (most iced tea), you take in enough water to offset the diuresis.


    Obviously, drinking something, in general, is an improvement on drinking nothing. However, if your only liquid intake in the scorching desert was iced tea, you might have a problem. Since you do have a choice of beverages, I assume that you are throwing in some clear water to dilute the effects of the caffeine, and thus no harm is done. Please remember that there are people who lack the sense to offset their soda/iced tea intake with clear water, and they do develop a number of health problems.

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  78. JennOfArk2:20 PM

    I must be getting a lot of water in my food, then, because I brew my tea fairly strong and it's about the only thing I drink. I'm one of those people who lacks the sense to offset my tea intake with clear water. :) What health problems should I be on the lookout for?

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  79. Nothing says tyranny like the First Lady suggesting that water is good to drink. These are dark times.

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  80. bourbaki2:36 PM

    I wasn't sure either but (the ever helpful) wikipedia confirmed it.

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  81. Bigby2:37 PM

    I was just in "3rd world backwater" Mexico. They have PSAs on their TV that flat out tell kids "Drink more water and less sugary drinks! Colas cause obesity, tooth decay, etc, etc, etc...". Can we have that here? Naw, we have a population so enraged and mud-dumb ignorant, literally EVERYTHING is subject to it's politics over common sense.



    Though to be fair if Bush had told me to drink more water, I'd figure it's because we reached Peak Water in America and his crime family owned a mega-aquifer in South America and the bastard just wanted to make a killing off squeezing his fellow countrymen...oh, wait.

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  82. reallyaimai3:05 PM

    becoming a republican.

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  83. reallyaimai3:08 PM

    Thats it in a nutshell. What is it you libtards don't understand about consent?

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  84. reallyaimai3:09 PM

    I have no words for how much I love this comment. Somewhere, one of the First Lady's assistants is spewing tap water all over the screen.

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  85. reallyaimai3:09 PM

    Considering that after 9/11 he told us to go shopping, I think you are being more than fair.

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  86. JennOfArk3:29 PM

    Funny...I've been referring to them as "rabid" for a number of years...but it never occurred to me that they were actually hydrophobic...

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  87. KatWillow3:33 PM

    The tannin in tea can interfere with One's ability to absorb iron, and cause a type of anemia. One symptom is frequent severe headacehs.

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  88. KatWillow3:35 PM

    NOTHING Michelle Obama says is or could possibly true and inoffensive!

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  89. KatWillow3:40 PM

    Yummmm..... liquified cheesecake!

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  90. JennOfArk3:53 PM

    Huh. In that case, drinking oodles of tea has probably been good for my health.


    I have very high iron levels - my dad did as well. So high in fact, that once when I donated blood at the Red Cross, they called me into the little room to talk with me about it. At the time I had been taking a vitamin + iron supplement and they said, "stop taking it - you don't need it." Apparently it had pushed the hematocrit (I think that's the term) level to the upper borderline of what's considered normal/safe. Even without the iron supplements, I still avoid eating too much of iron-rich foods or using the iron skillets too much.

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  91. Christian C.3:54 PM

    Because if you're going to argue someone's position, it's easier to make that position into something ridiculous. That way, you don't look ridiculous for arguing it. For example, let's say I think people should be able to legally own and carry handguns. You could make reasoned arguments about why this is a bad idea. Or, you could start out assuming that I think people should own main battle tanks, and argue about that.

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  92. Shut up and drink your water out of this jackboot!

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  93. KatWillow4:00 PM

    I love nutmeg!

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  94. KatWillow4:01 PM

    "Too much of anything, Lutenant Uhura, even Love, can be bad for you." Spock, Original Star Trek

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  95. calling all toasters4:13 PM

    Is it the weekend already?

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  96. sharculese4:13 PM

    Have they gotten to muttering about fluoridation yet?

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  97. Caffeine is a diuretic

    A very mild diuretic, and frequent users build up a tolerance to the effect. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need another cup of coffee with a teabag in it. And yes, the mug has "Annoying Pedant" printed on it. Why do you ask?

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  98. calling all toasters4:16 PM

    ...not to mention the angry white diabetics in hoverrounds lobby.

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  99. sharculese4:19 PM

    Rod Flanders, is that you?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWBhnsMH4dI

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  100. montag24:21 PM

    Well, considering that dehydration is accompanied by confused thinking--even delirium--I can see the politics of this. The righty-tighties know they could potentially lose some of their base to clear-headedness if the First Lady were to prevail in her campaign.


    "Mr. Speaker, we must not allow a Mountain Dew gap!"

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  101. Tracy4:22 PM

    Between the good coffee and good beer in the Chicago area, drinking plain old water (what my mother calls "Michigan Straight") is a waste of time.

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  102. Hattie4:24 PM

    Oh for crap sake. The ninnies have taken over.

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  103. mrstilton4:57 PM

    No, see, Christian, we don't need to reach for your reductio ad absurdam. We can simply point to the arguments you gun nuts actually do make -- in effect, that the tree of liberty must from time to time be watered with the blood of a classroom full of six year olds. That is more than sufficient to let normal people know what you are like.

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  104. smut clyde4:57 PM

    The "8 glasses a Day" campaign was being shopped around NZ for a while; on close inspection it was indeed being (partly) funded by the bottled-water industry.

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  105. BigHank535:04 PM

    My own shorthand for one of the frozen things they make is the "crackaccino". It's ridiculously yummy...because it's nothing but coffee, chocolate, fat, and sugar. I'm never going to take one away from anyone, but don't pretend they're anything but dessert.

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  106. Dave Empey5:05 PM

    I don't get the shirt-tucking thing. What do it mean, boss?

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  107. BG, feeling feckish5:26 PM

    Oh, I think Sarah Palin had it right (sorry, but this picture makes me laugh every time I see it):

    http://cdn02.cdnwp.thefrisky.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/18/Sarah-Palin-Big-Gulp-600x450.jpg

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  108. smut clyde5:31 PM

    which includes water consumed in food.

    At the height of the 8-glasses-a-day hysteria, its proponents were quite clear that water in food did *not* count; neither did caffeinated hot drinks, nor beer. They were taking earlier estimates of how much water we consumed *including* food, and turning it into a distorted prescription.

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  109. RogerAiles5:45 PM

    http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/jury-rules-radio-station-jennifer-strange-water-drinking/story?id=8970712

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  110. vista6:40 PM

    Just say No To H20!

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  111. Seems about right.

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  112. This comment makes me wet.

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  113. If this was a feature, it'd be called "Grasping at Imaginary Straws the Movie".

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  114. marindenver7:28 PM

    LOL, that's my opinion too. Someone at the WH says "I know - let's get Michelle to suggest that people drink water and see how much of a freak-out that will cause." Well now we know.

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  115. drkrick7:38 PM

    Rafael Soriano fan?

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  116. ohsopolite7:54 PM

    Already started, thanks to the fine gentlemen of Fishbone:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2GhfwX1H5M

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  117. ohsopolite8:00 PM

    Also, too...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogbSggAkiRI

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  118. Tea Baggers drink BRAWNDO, it's got electrolytes!

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  119. DAMN, shoulda oughta read the thread before posting!

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  120. I imagine most of them don't, it would mar their protective Cheeto dust integument.

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  121. Next time I'll read the thread... third of fourth Brawndo comment...

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  122. Tehanu10:06 PM

    A minor nitpick, but one that's been driving me crazeee lately. "Admonishment" is indeed a word, it's not incorrect exactly ... but "admonition" is a better word. Or so sez me, anyway.

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  123. Freshly Squeezed Cynic12:56 AM

    Your argument would have more force if they were not arguing something incredibly ridiculous viz. that getting people to drink an extra glass of water a day is dangerous.

    But hey, thanks for shoehorning in an argument about guns, I'm sure no-one has heard one of those in ages.

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  124. XeckyGilchrist1:11 AM

    Then have a contest for best onomatopoeia for the resulting sound. My entry is PLORCHT.

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  125. XeckyGilchrist1:13 AM

    No worries. It's a very Brawndo concept.

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  126. DocAmazing2:13 AM

    Does anyone else think of Dana Carvey?

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  127. Jannah2:19 AM

    *yawns* oh, that's a good one- talk about absurd arguments. Go ahead, beclown yourselves.


    What about women, who own guns, who stop violent attacks on themselves? I'd wager that there are dozens of incidents like that for every ONE where someone who's not allowed to own a gun steals/borrows one and commits a crime.

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  128. DocAmazing2:22 AM

    A handgun lending library! Excellent idea. I'll get right on it.

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  129. DocAmazing2:26 AM

    Keep an eye on your kidneys. Watch for darkening of urine or bubbles in your urine. Also, if you start developing muscle pain or fatigue, try some clear water.

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  130. I know you will probably find this hard to believe but the value of a thing does not actually absolutely depend on whether it agrees with your settled opinions or whether it is personally useful to you. Your approach has its advantages, i can see: keeps your life free of worries and cares so that a tiny little thing like boring old First Lady advice, carefully vetted so as to give the minimum of offence, still feels like an imposition on your freedom and apparently looms in monstrous proportions in your mind, haunting your waking hours and disturbing your sleep. Perhaps you could try a remedy that normal people use, which is to imagine what it is like to be some other person. Normal people recognize that the FL is not a private person and it is impossible for. Her to be: private people can walk to 7-11 in a pair of sweat pants, they don't have 330 million people reading about their every word, they do not operate in public under the stare of their spouses' political adversaries. So no she can't just go out and get a regular job, even if it is what she'd prefer. So she gets a project to work on because she is in a position to lead by example--something you don't need because you are the perfect expression of your own perfect complete and fully informed will so yay you--and probably also so that she doesn't go stark raving nuts with no freedom of movement.

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  131. phiadelphialawyer4:20 AM

    And the value of a thing depends, instead, soley on your opinion of it or your perception of its utility? I thought we were free to give our opinions here. Yours and mine are apparently different. Fine. On the other hand, I neither said nor implied that FL campaigns like this one minimize my freedom or loom in my mind or haunt my hours. I said I find them to be annoying. And, yeah, I realize that the "message" has been vetted so as to offend no interest group, still, being told to eat one's spinach and drink one's water annoys me nevertheless. Again, sorry if that opinion differs from yours, or falls out the range that you find to be acceptable.
    I also understand that it is hard for the FL to live a private life. That was kinda my point. That, perhaps, we should work on making that easier. That there is no reason why Michelle Obama could not continue to work as a lawyer. And there is no reason why she should not have some privacy when she goes about her daily life, including that part of it relating to her children. If that were so, perhaps, an FL (or FM., when we get one) could, as I mentioned, not have to have a "project" where she "leads by example," when that high sounding mission actually amounts to nothing more than a phony PR campaign in which she mouths second hand platitudes about issues on which she has no expertise.

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  132. nanute4:54 AM

    "I've never seen plants grow out of a toilet." http://youtu.be/-Vw2CrY9Igs

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  133. coozledad6:42 AM

    Christ. I drink lots of water and my urine looks like something you'd see unflushed at a rest stop on I-95.
    I'm tired, listless, increasingly confused, and my muscles ache.


    I was hoping it was just being 52, but now I'm convinced I'm about to piss one of those packets of dried sea shrimp.

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  134. Sweet Maria's in Oakland has some excellent roasts too although they mainly deal in green coffee.

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  135. edroso7:49 AM

    I thought we were free to give our opinions here.

    Word to the wise: Suggesting that your freedom has been restricted because your opinion has been challenged or criticized is a bad way to begin any argument. It's a widely recognized <A HREF="http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2013/04/libertarian-outreach.html" target="_blank>wingnut tic</A> that will make the reader suspect that you're a whiner; and when you follow up with, "sorry if that opinion differs from yours, or falls out the range that you find to be acceptable," that reader is likely to consider his suspicion confirmed.

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  136. coozledad8:27 AM

    Duck lips and black nail polish.


    Gene Simmons groupie?

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  137. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps9:28 AM

    Mrs. Obama just needs to target her rhetoric for her audience. Instead of suggesting people drink water more often, she should say that the dangerous terrorist forces of dryness have taken root in the bowels of Americans, and the only way to defeat them is with targeted moisture strikes.

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  138. JennOfArk9:28 AM

    Instead of wagering, why not offer up some statistics?


    I ask because the only ones I've seen indicate that having a gun in the house greatly increases the likelihood that one of the inhabitants of that house will suffer a gunshot wound or death by getting shot. While I have heard a few anecdotal stories of women using guns to stop violent attacks on themselves, I haven't heard all that many of them - certainly not enough to suggest that there are "dozens" of them for "every ONE" where someone who has a gun they shouldn't have commits a crime.

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  139. Derelict9:44 AM

    Some of us remember how, mere months into his first term, Obama suggested that young people should finish high school. There followed two weeks of spittle-flecked outrage on the Right that it really was the height of tyranny for Obama to suggest that. And that's when they started making serious comparisons of Obama to Hitler because Hitler's Germany had high schools.


    These people are brain damaged.

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  140. c1974 road trip:


    Republican Dad: If you drink water, you'll have to pee. We're driving 500 miles today, and NO ONE gets a pee-break except when the Old Man says so.


    just sayin'

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  141. Derelict10:53 AM

    Or Obama suggesting that kids finishing high school is a good thing. He was excoriated for that early in his first term because, well, Hitler backed education, too.

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  142. ...rode hard and put away wet.

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  143. I swear, what should have been a smart satire is becoming a documentary film right before my eyes.

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  144. Let's not forget that Hitler was very much in favor of drinking water. Had he not supplied his armies with potable water, the war would have ended much sooner and millions of lives would have been saved.

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  145. glennisw11:39 AM

    What's Malkin have to say, I wonder?

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  146. glennisw11:41 AM

    What's more hilarious are the idiots who imitated her, posing like the Statue of Liberty holding up their Big Gulps like torches.

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  147. glennisw11:48 AM

    Living with you must be a helluva lot of fun. Why do I get the feeling that you don't like others "telling people what to do" because you think that privilege belongs to you?

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  148. mortimer20001:10 PM

    A reminder to drink an extra glass of water, or eat healthy foods, or
    drive safely, or buy war bonds, is a rather mild form of public service
    advertising, whether it comes from CBS or the First Lady. As annoyances
    go, it's pretty innocuous, but repetitive advertising works, which is
    why advertisers do it. At the same time, public service campaigns
    advising women to get a pap smear, or reminding drivers to wear seat belts and not
    to text while driving, and so on, can save actual lives of actual other
    people -- arguably, even yours -- no matter how much you may find it
    annoying. The common good. What a concept.

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  149. FlipYrWhig1:18 PM

    The First Lady's Schilling can't be Curt...

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  150. MikeJ1:42 PM

    Instead of wagering, why not offer up some statistics?



    If having a gun makes one safer, it seems like a sure bet that insurance companies would do everything they could to encourage gun ownership, starting with vastly lower premiums.


    If a person believes they'll be safer it seems that the quickest way to find out would be to call their home owners (or renters) insurance agent and ask them what sort of discount they should expect upon buying a new gun

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  151. reallyaimai1:43 PM

    So what you are saying is that it is the liquid equivalent of the "Lather, rinse, repeat" campaign?

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  152. reallyaimai1:44 PM

    Yes, they are muttering about flouridation into their soda cans, so its inaudible.

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  153. Mooser1:50 PM

    Do they understand you are supposed to drink the water instead of not in addition to beer or HFCS soda?

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  154. Mooser1:53 PM

    "Does anyone else think of Dana Carvey?"


    Yes, he is in my thoughts more than, perhaps, I would like to admit.

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  155. reallyaimai1:59 PM

    I agree with Kia but, since I like to see things in general as teachable moments--when they aren't an occasion for pure snark--I'd like to put a different frame on the First Lady's rather anoydyne activities.


    This is a huge country with an enormous immigrant population. It has major disparities in income, education, and orientation to lots of things. Not everyone has access to a doctor, or a gym, or even is literate.


    It is not a given that the public sphere and the sphere of medical and nutritional information should be wholly ceded to corporate interests and marketing. If there were no Education department, no FDA, no CDC that is all that would be left--a corporatized wasteland in which there would be nothing but advertisements for, say, Brawndo and nothing and no one to push back on it.


    At least as opposed to merely ordering new China for the White House both the literacy campaigns and the nutrition and excercise campaigns actually address real problems (and a really high level of ignorance and fear) among large numbers of the most vulnerable of our population.


    For christ's sake the entire country is not made up of highly educated people with access to a doctor. There are people out there right now who don't actually know how sex works, or what the connection is between their diet soda and their obesity and grandma's diabetes.


    It has been observed that advertising doesn't really matter to the consumer unless he/she needs the item in question. Similarly, if you are not in one of the affected classes of people you might well think that an anti drug campaign, a literacy campaign, or a nutrition campaign is not valuable. But for a staggeringly large proportion of the population even talking about something can be an enormous step forward.

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  156. reallyaimai2:02 PM

    Yes but: nefarious commie/corporate plot to restrict our rights to accidentally shoot ourselves.

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  157. JennOfArk2:04 PM

    This seems pertinent.


    "Look at me! Look at me! My PEE has no COLOR!"

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  158. reallyaimai2:07 PM

    I associate it with other Roy faves like "pushes glasses up bridge of nose." To me its a sign that a rather nebbishy, unscary person is imagining themselves getting ready for a fight over some absurd principle.

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  159. reallyaimai2:11 PM

    Which is it: do you need no expertise to lead a pro-nutrition and excercise campaign or do you need a lot? You seem to think that when a First Lady says something publicly she is testifying at a legal trial as an expert witness. This is just wrong: she is speaking out as a popular celebrity and we know perfectly well that popular celebrities get followed and their advice gets taken. (To a certain extent, that is, since I just finished re-reading Ogilvy on Advertising).


    In fact: this is the difference between Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" which was targeted to a demographic for which she was not a popular or admired figure (teens) and everything and anything that Michelle Obama does since she is not only a popular figure in the target demographic but she is canny enough to involve age appropriate celebrities in spreading the word.


    I suppose you object to "Rock the Vote" as well because the actors and musicians who support it are not experts on politics or voting rights?

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  160. reallyaimai2:12 PM

    I prefer...Aqua Velva.

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  161. DocAmazing2:55 PM

    On the minus side, the heavy physical labor that you do is taking its toll on your muscles, and secondarily your kidneys.



    On the plus side, hours of fun with playful Sea Monkeys!

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  162. ColBatGuano4:34 PM

    I'd take that wager.

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  163. Caribou "PAYCUT" Barbie™4:44 PM

    That's funny.
    Man, she looks bad!!!!!!!!!

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  164. TGuerrant5:36 PM

    think -- can't make him think

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  165. TGuerrant5:52 PM

    GMTA - proof of concept. Now we market this.

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  166. TGuerrant5:56 PM

    Cover story for putting his hand in his pants. Look away. Just look away.

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  167. Bethany Spencer6:42 PM

    Fishbone=automatic upvote.

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  168. That, perhaps, we should work on making that easier. That there is no reason why Michelle Obama could not continue to work as a lawyer.



    Lord, can you imagine how lunatic the nuggets would've gone had she stayed in her practice? "Howcum The One can't keep his wife from working? Doesn't she know what a First Lady should do? She thinks she's better than the rest of us, that she can be First Lady AND a lawyer?" They'd lose their shit, man. I seem to remember a tremor of shrinking penii before Clinton actually took office over the fear that Hitlery might not be the good lil' wife she's supposed to be and make cookies instead of a career. I guess being a heartless career woman is one of the few things the wingutteria hasn't thrown at Mrs. Obama.

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  169. Snarll7:42 PM

    Actually, just picture Jonah Goldberg doing it and it will all become clear. Don't forget to picture the sweat on his upper lip and the back of his shirt too.

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  170. Yeah, in terms of calories it makes Ensure look like skim milk by comparison.

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  171. Jimcima8:01 PM

    And you'd lose that bet.

    In 2010 there were just 24 justifiable homicides by women using firearms in self-defense, and 35% of those killed were known to the shooter. In that same year there were 8,275 criminal gun homicides, so for every 1 justifiable homicide by a gun owner of all genders there were 44 criminal homicides.

    And between 2005 and 2010 there were approximately 29 million attempted or completed violent crimes less that 1% (.08) used firearms in self-defense and for very act of "self-protective" behavior by a gun owner 10 guns were stolen from gun owners.

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  172. coozledad9:01 PM

    i wish these guys had caught on instead of REM, but hindsight is white.

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  173. coozledad9:08 PM

    Sheesh. Amai, get with the gentlemen!

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  174. Excellent. Our plan to rob Americans of their precious bodily fluids by using reverse psychology is proceeding apace.

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  175. edroso10:09 PM

    It is suggestive (but not suggestive enough I fear) of someone drawing himself up to inform a crowd that, for example, one could under certain circumstances one could profitably bring coals to Newscastle -- technically true but beside the point.

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  176. It really only applies to inexperienced marathon runners. If you haven't done one before, and you're very slow, you run the risk of water intoxication.



    I trained for a marathon last year and was somewhat concerned about this, until I did a sweat rate calculation and realized that there was pretty much no way I was going to be able to drink too much water running for six hours in the Central Valley.

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  177. BigHank5311:40 PM

    That there is no reason why Michelle Obama could not continue to work as a lawyer.


    Can you say "conflict of interest"? Can you define it? Can you imagine walking into a courtroom and discovering you're up against the First Lady of United States? Does the Secret Service have to yield their weapons at the courthouse entrance? Are you really a lawyer? Really?

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  178. BigHank5311:45 PM

    "Don't worry, Tagg, Chub, Pax, and Cobag--you can sneak to the restroom while your dad is hosing the dogshit off the rear window."

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  179. BigHank5311:46 PM

    You lost most of them at "understand".

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  180. D. Sidhe11:54 PM

    This. I want to sit through a safe driving class with this comment, and I don't even drive.

    Seriously, the best part about "Don't use drugs" PSAs is that I'm not being bombarded with another stupid and sexist booze commercial. Or any commercial. I kind of like to take a break from being a profit center once in a while.

    My idiot right wing uncle has offered up just today an e-card that suggests that Obama is molesting his freedoms. (Yes, it said "molesting". I won't tell you why the word choice made me throw up in my mouth, but it did.) So, this, and "Liberal Fascism", is what I think of when I hear "Nanny state". It's like "fiat money": Even if they go on to make a worthwhile point, I have already assumed they have nothing useful (although occasionally hilarious) to add to the conversation and stopped taking them seriously. Based on my years of viewing of C-Span, I'm probably not wrong.

    FWIW, I look forward with glee to the annual barrage of Ways The Government Just Wants To Help You be Less Stupid For Thanksgiving announcements. This probably has something to do with the fact that I have Give A Hoot Don't Pollute and Household Chemical Safe Handling and How To Operate A Fire Extinguisher posters on my walls.

    There are worse and dumber things the government can do to you than offer helpful advice. So go change your smoke detector batteries, because it's Fire Prevention Month.

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  181. D. Sidhe12:00 AM

    Actually, next month is fire prevention month. September is Food Safety Awareness Month. I have no idea how I forgot what month it is. My apologies.

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  182. horatius12:02 AM

    That explains why TransCanada wants to build their Shale oil pipeline right over the Ogalalla aquifer.

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  183. tigrismus9:22 AM

    He lost me at instead of beer.

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  184. XeckyGilchrist11:16 AM

    There's also the belligerent strawman/false-dilemma mongering and Snot Quotes. Not sure whether the substitution of spinach for broccoli in the nanny-state mandated diet complaint is a mitigating thing or points off for misremembering the trope.

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  185. Leonard Pierce11:50 AM

    She's obviously in the pocket of Big Water.

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  186. MikeJ1:37 PM

    Why not both? It's not exactly a zero sum game.

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  187. reallyaimai2:35 PM

    I'm offended because its true, seems to be their motto. Worse than having a black president in the oval office is having a black president who is a snappy dresser, a family man, highly educated, a peace prize winner, a published author, and a pretty good singer. Ditto for Michelle.

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  188. MikeJ2:56 PM

    Oh yeah, I once saw them at a 150 seater, not that anybody was seated, everyone was dancing .


    But it's not REM's fault that jangle pop became a thing, and I liked a lot of them too. And of course a lot of those other bands were actually coming up at the same time. Sadly, people didn't pay Chris Stamey as much attention as he deserved until REM came along.


    And that may be part of the problem. REM might play your college town once or twice a year, but any other weekend you could hear a similar sounding band. With Fishbone, nobody needed to tell you "accept no substitute", because there simply wasn't one. I wonder if being sui generis harmed them. Perhaps you need a critical mass in a sub genre before any of you can cross the pop threshold.

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  189. MikeJ3:04 PM

    And I would also add, touring a six or seven piece is a much, much bigger pain in the ass, and it's already a pain in the ass for a three or four piece. You already need two vans right off the bat with a bigger band. Everything is more expensive, and needing more money doesn't get you more money. The only way it helps is when confronting the half of all club owners who are assholes and are going to try to rip you off. You might not have to make the threats of physical violence out loud.

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  190. Wm Kiernan4:02 PM

    Goddam, she usually looks so prim and upright, even with that sniggering little grin she sometimes tries to hide, who knew Michelle Obama's such an absolutely masterful troll! God she's good! "Drink a glass of water." "YUO CANT MAKE ME!!@!" Incredible!

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  191. M. Krebs7:06 PM

    There has to be a movie or TV scene that inspires the phrase. Something old, with Mickey Rooney maybe? Or the Little Rascals? Something like that.

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  192. M. Krebs7:10 PM

    Hey, maybe she shoulda said to drink more Bwando!

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  193. M. Krebs8:05 PM

    SKREEE!

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  194. Wait... there are cures for hangovers and none of ya told me?!?

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  195. Yeah, okay. I might chill out.

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  196. Thanks smut. I was beginning to think I was hearing voices in my fillings.

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  197. Halloween_Jack10:12 AM

    I lulz for it because, even if the big-sugar-slurry ban had taken effect, 7-11 was exempt. You can see the fucking brand right on the cup.

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  198. Mooser11:49 AM

    Well, you know what W.C. Fields said about water!

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  199. He wasn't the only double Nobel winner. Madame Curie won two as well :)

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