FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: POST-THANKSGIVING INGRATITUDE EDITION.

Drive that pile.

Hope your Thanksgiving was good! Mine was fine and now that I’ve had my gratitude I’m ready to move back into my usual ingratitude mode. (But not into ungraciousness -- no, I think we can fail to appreciate the bullshit we’re being handed by our leaders and bosses and assholigarchs without losing the grace to appreciate our fellow man. In fact that’s what my Thanksgiving edition of Roy Edroso Breaks It Down is about -- have a FREE look thanks to my Friday ‘Round-the-Horn policy!)

Mostly I'm ungrateful that Tubby remains in what’s left of the White House. He keeps snarling and raving in press conferences barely challenged by Prestige Press reporters -- not even to chide him when he lashes out at their colleagues. And he keeps giving deranged commands, like cancelling Biden’s orders because they were signed with an autopen (which Trump has used himself). The Prestige Pressies report these as if they're legitimate differences of opinion instead of the ravings of a tertiary syphilis case. 

(It's like the world's stupidest hostage situation -- this guy is ruining institutions and lives, yet reporters and administrators and other people with public platforms keep their mouths shut about it because they're a-scared of losing their phony-baloney jobs. C'mon, fellas, everybody dies!)

His most despicable recent action (most recent despicable action may be a better way to put it) is the order to send 500 Guardsmen to DC because two of the Guard stationed there were shot. Yeah, that'll help. "People hate living under military occupation -- let's make it worse! They're bound to calm down."

This is of a piece with Tubby's original order to send the Guard to DC because DOGE asshole Edward “Big Balls” Coristine allegedly got beat up there: If anything happens anywhere that makes him mad -- shootings, protests, a fake ass-kicking -- he sends troops and talks tough. He’s not trying to protect anybody or anything except his own hyperinflated self-regard. 

I’m glad more people are catching on -- though a 36% approval rate still seems high to me -- but I wish someone would tell the Democratic leadership and kick them in the ass while they’re at it. We can’t count on clogged arteries to do it all for us, and JD Vance ought to be given advance word by the opposition that we’re not gonna take any shit from him either.

As for the allegedly fun media story about Robert Fucking Kennedy Junior and the scumbag journalists who covered for him until it was too late, I see the humor but my enjoyment is limited by the wreckage Garglin’ Bob is making of our public health. Thanks to the alt-med garbage he peddles and the idiot parents who believe it, children are dying of once-dormant children diseases and I have a hunch his regimen of raw milk and pull-ups isn’t going to stop it. I begin to think Kennedy is a more dangerous lunatic than Trump, and may do even more damage to the country in the long run. We can roll back most of Trump’s idiotic orders but when the U.S. is ravaged by once-rare diseases spread by right wing hippie dipshits who’ll blame it all on bad chi or feng shui or some shit, the counter-counter-enlightenment could take generations.

Whew, harsh, huh? Let’s go out on a light note with a REBID freebie about one of Tubby’s less damaging idiocies: Notes for his desired Rush Hour sequel! Contrary to Garglin' Bob, laughter really is the best medicine. 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: TRUMP EMBRACES SOCIALISM EDITION.

Where they spend their se-molians / Just to watch those cre-olians /
Skippin', hippin′, doin' the uptown lowdown. (Chick Webb!)

The week was strange; full as it was of horrible Trump shit -- with Tubby selling out Ukraine, defending his Saudi murderer buddy, calling a female journo “piggy,” threatening to execute members of Congress for reminding the troops not to do war crimes and getting his fans to send them death threats (and boy, how that list would have looked to a time traveler from, oh, last year, huh?) -- it ended with Trump playing pattycake with the man he once portrayed as a “communist” menace, Zohran Mamdani, like he was his long-lost son, one he was relieved to have around instead of Don Jr. and Eric. 

The most obvious reason for the Mamdani coochy-coo was… the rest of the week, which had made Trump look like an unhinged monster to everyone -- not just us wise guys but independents and squish Republicans too, appealing only to his small, rabid base. Oh, and there was Epstein -- nobody buys his bullshit about welcoming the release of the files, and nobody expects them to be delivered intact, either. It was not only lose-lose, it was lose-lose-lose-loseloselose whooo whooo like a runaway train of loserdom. 

So what’s the play? Hitch his fat caboose to a genuinely popular politician! Trump knows the GOP is as popular as cancer and that Mamdani’s an undersold stock -- that is, while he won his election convincingly and proved dynamite in interviews and public appearances, the loathed Republicans are blind to his appeal and the centrist dipshit Democrats act embarrassed by it. Ezra Klein says instead of Mamdani, the Dem future is -- I shit you not -- Josh Shapiro! It’s like they want to lose! Whereas Trump would throw Vance, Noem, Rubio, and everyone else under a hundred busses to win. 

If we were to psychoanalyze -- something I’m loath to do, as I barely consider Trump human -- I’d say Trump sees himself in Mamdani -- that is, he sees a political outsider (right) who is hated by the establishment (right) and is a natural on camera (right) and just happens to run a cheerful-inclusive con on the rubes rather than Trump’s own mean-psychopathic one. (I expect he’s wrong there, but monsters like Trump always think everyone’s as crooked as they are.) 

His smarm offensive seems to be working for him already -- apostate Marge Taylor Greene is quitting Congress, no doubt to podcast and maybe do an exercise show.  I think it was Atrios who said that most of our top politicians aren't really interested in politics and actually want to do talk shows. It's an absurd enough motivation for the collapse of democracy -- which, I remind you, has yet to be arrested. Maybe Tubby and his tribe thinks if they do an occasional sunny good-news stunt we'll forget they're still invading cites and arresting and trying to kill (and sometimes successfully killing) innocent people. Wonder how many people that works on? Not enough, I hope. 

Do I have a ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN freebie for you? YES -- a visit with the rightwing Catholic boys in the “rectory,” Bill Bennett, Bill Barr, Boof Kavanaugh, and Ross Douthat, as they ponder what to do about the damn doorty socialist Pope! Enjoy! (If you want more, subscribe -- it’s cheap!) 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: EPSTEIN IS THE MONSTER AND THE CREATOR EDITION.

Robert Christgau told us about these guys.
And they're doing a residency at MASS MoCA!

A lot of news this week, but I gotta tell you, I just saw something that actually no-kidding shocked me:

AI company unveils avatar app that recreates deceased loved ones in interactive form

…The Los Angeles–based startup, 2Wai, went viral when co-founder Calum Worthy released a promotional video showing how the technology works.

The clip features a pregnant woman speaking to an AI recreation of her late mother through her phone.

It then jumps forward 10 months, showing the AI “grandma” reading a bedtime story to the baby.

Later, the child, now a young boy, talks casually with the avatar while walking home from school.

The video ends with the grown son telling the digital grandmother that she is about to become a great-grandmother.

“With 2Wai, three minutes can last forever,” the video states.

Worthy added that the company is “building a living archive of humanity” through its avatar-based social network. He also wrote, “What if the loved ones we’ve lost could be part of our future?”

I saw the video and I felt like Kurtz in Apocalypse Now when he saw the pile of arms (“I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn’t know what I wanted to do”). I felt like the Monster at the end of The Bride of Frankenstein. My God. What have we become?

Well, not us, gentle reader! If you come across anyone who really wants to make AI Dead Loved Ones, please tell them forcefully that humanity has its back against the wall and however the battle goes we will remember the names of our deserters. We must recognize what’s sane and insane if we are to have any hope of pulling out of this tailspin. 

Which brings me to this week’s news! Looks like Epstein’s Ghost isn’t gonna leave Tubby alone. For most of us (and I think this includes normal people beyond the usual liberal circles), the natural reaction is horror and disgust and maybe some nervous laughter, while the MAGA die-hards are cooking up ever stranger defenses. 

You probably heard about Megyn Kelly’s “well it’s not like he fucked babies” defense (“she implied, in conversation with NewsNation host Batya Ungar-Sargon, that it wasn’t quite fair to call Jeffrey Epstein a pedophile because he was ‘into the barely legal type’ of minors—which Kelly appallingly defines as ‘like, 15-year-olds’—who look like they could be legal adults…”). Josh Marshall finds Ungar-Sargon working yet another angle as to whoever got trafficked to Trump via the nightmarish 

Schrödinger's jailbait! What do you think? Me, I don’t believe Tubby would be satisfied with almost-underage sex slaves when his buddy had the real thing on tap. No sloppy seconds for Donny Two-Scoops! On the other hand, his White House interior decorating shows he’s even less aware of what’s genuine or isn't than the buyers of Trump Steaks and Trump Wines, so who knows. (Ha ha, kidding, he guilty.) (Also ha ha: Now Tubby’s trying a “No pedo, no pedo, you're the pedo!” strategy against the Democrats, with Bondi taking the lead! How long before he tells us that Epstein actually trafficked those girls to Venezuela and that’s the real reason we’re murdering fishermen in the Caribbean?)

Almost buried in Epsteinmania is Tubby and his goons pushing yet again for the ACA-alternative “Trumpcare” -- basically, health savings accounts where, if you get sick and run out of money, you die. But what if they were actually working on it instead of just running old Mises Institute papers through ChatGPT? That’s the premise for the first of this week’s two (2) ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN freebies. Features some of Trump’s most loathsome associates! AND for the second freebie, speaking of loathsome associates, JD Vance and Steve Bannon discuss what to do about You Know What. Enjoy! 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: RAY OF LIGHT EDITION.

Heard this in a restaurant -- you remember this?
I don’t and I don’t know how I missed it.

I missed ‘Round-The-Horn last week, and I’ll let you know in advance that this one isn’t going to be an all-timer. But like Groucho says in one of my favorite bits from Animal Crackers, they can’t all be good, folks,  you've got to expect that once in a while.

But the news is good (sorta) even if I’m not! On Tuesday the Republicans got slapped around, hard enough to strongly suggest a trend beyond the electoral. The Democratic Virginia Governor and legislature margins beat the spread; ditto in New Jersey and points west. Voters just piled on the repudiation. One of my favorite accounts is Popular Information’s “Six election results that didn’t make the headlines,” which tells stories like… 

In Bucks County — Pennsylvania’s largest swing county, which Trump narrowly won in 2024 — Democrat Danny Ceisler was elected county sheriff after the Republican incumbent signed a deal to collaborate with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) earlier this year…

For the first time in 13 years, Democrats in Mississippi have broken up a GOP supermajority in the state Senate…

Etc. Apart from the political power shifts, the wipeout had the effect of forcing the Prestige Press to relent for a few minutes from their usual Dems in Disarray routine. The press lords have been talking about Trump and his Republicans ass-lickers as if they were invulnerable, even as polls show general violent disapproval of their misgovernance. A lot of what people call “doomerism” is really the effect of the media’s failure to acknowledge the reality we all observe, like Trump’s lunatic economic policy driving up prices and throwing small businesses into chaos while his rich asshole friends prosper.  Hell, they don’t even seem to notice his swift, steep mental decline, even as they point cameras and microphones at it. No wonder a lot of people came to think resistance was futile! But the election broke the spell. 

Of course the big news is Mamdani getting elected Mayor of New York despite the unified opposition of the Prestige Press -- or maybe in part due to it, because his victory was a massive refutation of several kinds of stand-pat bullshit. Cuomo’s ham-handed campaign, and the refusal of many major New York Democrats to endorse him -- and Cuomo’s attempt to threaten the city with Trump’s wrath unless they voted for him -- really hit every New Yorker’s fuck-you button. And I’m guessing the unusually literate New York electorate also noticed the press’ hard-on for Mamdani and didn’t like that either. No wonder he got a majority! 

And in honor of that great victory, this week’s two (2) ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN freebies are on that theme: First, the election-night summary, and second, an add-on about the continuing self-embarrassment of his enemies in Pundit- and Poobah-land. Enjoy!

FRIDAY ‘ROUND-THE-HORN: LITTLE BIG LIARS EDITION.

The Taj Mahal verson is fine, too. Just a good tune all around.

So what’s next after the demolition of the White House’s East Wing? You know Tubby wants to clear out the African American History Museum; maybe he’ll make it into a party venue. Since he’s arrogated the powers of Congress, maybe they can make the Capitol into a hotel. 

I’m amazed that some people are saying Democrats shouldn’t talk about this because it’s not The Price of Eggs. Not that The Price of Eggs isn’t crazy.  I just bought some and, like, wtf. But damn, it’s like the attack ads write themselves, and yet here’s Gretchen Whitmer -- who I thought was one of the good ones, not to mention a dish -- waving it off:

“Well, as I have talked to people, I’m telling you right now, no one is worried about building a ballroom in Washington, D.C.,” Whitmer replied. “What they want is to make sure that they can feed their kids next week. And the longer the shutdown goes, the more precarious it gets for people.”

The governor said most Americans are “never going to step foot in a ballroom over the course of their lifetime.”

AAARGH don’t you get it? Trump has been lying his ass off about everything including the economy. And to the extent that he still has support among voters, it’s because many of them are invested in his lies.

 Like, for instance, his repeated lie that the cities he's invading with his ICE goons are burning to the ground. Sure, to you and me this is obvious bullshit, but to people who never leave their cul-de-sacs or hollers it could be true and, rather than believe the President of the United States is sending no-necks to Portland just to wreak vengeance because its citizens didn’t vote for him, they may be inclined to take his word for it to comfort themselves. 

And if they’re in the habit of eating that kind of shit, they might also tell themselves, well, maybe my big grocery and gas and electric bills are just a fluctuation, or still Joe Biden’s fault; in any case the President must know it’s gonna get better because if he doesn’t that would mean he’s lying and these prices may never go down, and that thought is unbearable. 

I remember how Republicans have tried to cover up their administrations’ economic wreckage in the past, and how slow citizens can be to tumble to it -- as I said in 2006 as consumer confidence began to drop (to be followed shortly thereafter by the economy itself), “I have lived amongst Americans for a long time, and I have never known one to minimize his financial status -- in fact, I have heard more than one claim to be ‘doing great!’ when he was in fact two paychecks from a barrel overcoat.”

So it’s important to show voters that the guy is not only obviously but also dangerously full of shit. He said he was going to “renovate” the East Wing and then he just tore it down. To build a golden ballroom! For him and his rich friends! (That the voters will never “step foot” in it is part of the point, Big Gretch!) 

People reacted to the ruins of the World Trade Center. Let them gaze upon the ruins of the East Wing until it sinks it.

OK, who wants free editions of ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN? Here ya go: First, another episode of everyone’s favorite news show, Received Opinion with Bolt Upright, confronting the endless and increasingly outrageous shakedowns of deep-pocketed victims (including the U.S. Treasury -- that’s you and me, fellow Americans!) that are the hallmark of Tubby’s reign. And also a consideration of Zohran Mamdani in the home stretch and how the usual suspects are coping with his impending victory, basically by shifting their hatred from the candidate to New York City -- which they hated already, so it’s an easy segue. (Maybe Price-of-Eggs Democrats like Whitmer can learn something from his popularity.) 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS EDITION.

You still need a drugstore to cure my cough.

Getting this Friday ‘Round-the-Horn (which often turns into Saturday ‘Round-the-Horn or even Sunday ‘Round-the-Horn) in just under the wire, but I hustled to do so because I want to wish you all a timely Happy No Kings Day. Baltimore’s daytime festivities have been cramped by the city’s annual marathon, so I’m going over to DC to survey the turnout, but will drop by an advertised Dance Party in the hometown that evening. 

For a minute I thought the angry ravings by Tubby and his minions about the rallies (“hate America,” “pro-terrorist,” yadda yadda) must be some sort of weird double-reverse strategy to inflate turnout -- they certainly got people talking about it! Maybe, I mused, the plan was to get everyone who hates Trump outdoors at the same time, then murder us! But no, I finally decided, most likely they were just reacting the way they do to any negative stimulus -- hissing like frightened kittens, except way less cute. 

I can see why they’re nervous. People are beginning to catch on to how bad Tubby’s fucking up -- grocery prices and health insurance premiums are skyrocketing, and ICE is so out of control that in addition to kidnapping U.S. citizens they’re now also kidnapping police officers. The Trumpkins are trying to bull their way past it with new rabid-dog-and-lame-pony shows, but those are increasingly bizarre and not in a way that people like. Did you hear Garglin' Bob Kennedy yammering at the IVF policy thing about teenage sperm counts? 

Today, the average teenager in this country has 50 per cent of the sperm count, 50 per cent of the testosterone as a 65-year-old man... Our girls are hitting puberty six years earlier, and that’s bad, but also our parents aren’t having children.

When I heard that shit it reminded me of when he said he could tell kids were fucked up with "mitochondrial challenges" from antidepressants by looking at them "in airports." Now he's doing sperm counts. I expect to see him on camera in the Oval Office conducting taste tests on semen samples. "Ptui! This is obviously from a troubled young person who should be hauled in for conversion therapy."

Maybe the tide is turning. Democrats like JB Pritzker and even Hakeem Jeffries are beginning to talk about Tubby’s crimes as crimes, and even warn that the statute of limitations on those may outlast Republican control of Congress. I know we’re all worried about Trump being our Mussolini, but maybe we’ll get to the gas station part of the story faster than anticipated.

Hey, have two (2) ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN free issues! First, another scene from Bari Weiss’ tenure at CBS News. Got this one out too early to catch Weiss putting her sister on TV -- dare we hope she’ll do the same with her Intellectual Dork Web friends? Will we get commentary from Jordan Peterson’s latest deathbed? And finally, a rejoinder to all the trimmers and feebs who say Democrats shouldn’t talk about Tubby’s fascism and should instead talk about the price of eggs. For one thing, I should hope these guys can walk and chew gum at the same time; for another, I’d say if Democrats pretended not to notice the secret police and extrajudicial killings, that wouldn’t make people think they were moderate, it’d make them think they were blind. But read the whole thing. See ya on the streets! 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: ANTIFA VS. PRO-FA EDITION.

Just nice.

According to Tubby and his mob, if you’re anti-fascist you’re a terrorist. Having declared antifa (obligatory mouse type: not a real organization) a “domestic terrorist” organization, he’s now also calling it a “foreign terrorist” organization -- which, even if it were a real organization, and domestic-terroristic, wouldn’t make any sense. Tubby apparently thinks “foreign” makes it sound worse -- maybe next week he’ll sign an Executive Order declaring it a Satanic terrorist organization. 

I draw your attention, folks, to how few news outlets, in reporting this lunacy, actually tell their readers and viewers that there is no formal organization called antifa, that the word just means anti-fascist, and Tubby (along with the Prestige Press) is indulging a particularly bizarre fantasy (and a dangerous one for decent people because, if they can make up a terrorist group that must be wiped out and say it’s composed of people who oppose their policies, well, sky’s the limit as far as the next dictatorial phase goes). 

One good thing about totalitarian nightmares, though -- it’s fuel for my muse. So here’s the first of this week’s free-to-nonsubscribers ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN episode, in which decompensating Tubby freestyles on the theme.

The other freebie is about Bari Weiss of conservative gripesite The Free Press taking over CBS News. This is very obviously a rightwing fever dream come true, as may be seen by the celebrations among Trumpkins like Caitlin Flanagan. Though everyone actually in the business knows Weiss was dropped like a depth charge by Larry Ellison to destroy what's left of the prestigious news organization, Flanagan tells us in “Don’t Bet Against Bari Weiss”:

That she will somehow denigrate the storied CBS News… is a complete misreading of her and her vision, which is to bring the traditional methods of American journalism back to the news, and also to build a culture of ideas.

And what does Flanagan mean by that?

This is exactly what she’s done at The Free Press, which covers a variety of stories, the most popular of which -- Uri Berliner’s explanation of NPR’s decline, for example --are those that hold powerful institutions to account.

It seems by "the traditional methods of American journalism" and "a culture of ideas" Flanagan means the same bitching about Liberal Media Bias that conservatives like Weiss have been doling out in lieu of journalism for decades -- except, thanks to the billionaires’ takeover of American journalism, there's almost nothing even resembling a liberal media left for her to oppose, especially now that CBS News has been mummified and locked away in Bari’s mansion like Homer in "A Rose For Emily."

Anyway, ROY EDROSO BREAKS IT DOWN has one for you on Weiss getting to know her staff. Oh, and I shouldn’t leave Trump’s failure to win the Nobel Peace Prize unmentioned. Some folks think he should be pleased that the awardee -- who seems like kind of a nightmare herself -- thanked Trump in her moment of victory. But you know what the old narcissist is like. I’m sure he’s taking it like a disappointed, jealous Oscar nominee hearing his name mentioned in the winner’s speech -- not as a gracious gesture, but as a way to rub it in that he lost. Take some comfort from the fact that, powerful as they may be, they can never be truly happy. 

SATURDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: GLIMMERS IN THE GLOOM EDITION.

Still hits.

A day late on ‘Round-the-Horn, sorry, had to hang some cup hooks. (Many years ago I did a newsletter for the Ogivy ad agency and got to look through the alumni newsletters that one of the copywriters put together. The cup hook thing was one of the reasons that members of the firm reportedly gave for not coming in to work. Always liked it.)

Well, since we were here last it looks as though things haven’t gotten much better for America. Along with its other, ever-escalating outrages, ICE has started shooting people in Chicago. (You don’t believe their bullshit about the victim and 10 cars attacking them, do you? You’ve read several complex sentences to get this far, so I assume you know better.) 

Also Kristi Noem is talking about sending ICE to the Super Bowl because Bad Bunny will be the half-time entertainment -- either she anticipates something like the Zoot Suit Riots of 1943 because BB’s Latino, or else the botox has reached her amygdala. 

The administration clearly isn’t looking to win hearts and minds -- except maybe among the mouth-breathers who constitute their small hardcore base -- and rather wants to terrify us all into compliance with what I guess no serious person will at this point mind my calling his fascist regime. I hope our nation still has a bit of the moxie for which it was once known. “There are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.” We’ll find out soon enough. 

But not everything’s going the wrong way -- for example, the Tubby-and-Hegseth show for which the hapless SecDef (‘scuse me, Secretary of WAR, oooooh) commanded the senior officers to gather was a travesty, and this time the audience wasn't made up of complaisant reporters or brain-injured redhats accustomed to call their MAGA bollocks brilliant. It is impossible to imagine any self-respecting military careerist (and those guys are nothing if not self-respecting) listening to Posturing Pete and Wheezy Tubby and approving.

So I don’t think the boss was pleased, and that’s what the first of this week’s free Roy Edroso Breaks It Down episodes is about: How Trump may try to recover his dignity with the troops. Spoiler: It is not very dignified. 

(If Trump thinks declaring war on Venezuela for allegedly attacking America with drugs -- which, if such an assault has occurred, I’d say the U.S. lost the engagement years ago -- and getting the troops to murder even more fisherman to make it look good, I doubt the brass will take it well. They don’t make ‘em like General Westmoreland anymore!) 

For our second free Roy Edroso Breaks It Down episode, I’m going to do something new and exciting and let non-subscribers take part in a Fun Friday -- a long-standing REBID tradition whereby I throw out a prompt and readers give responses in comments. Try it, it’s fun! Can’t all be gloom and doom with a side of satire, you know.

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: FASH-AND-CARRY EDITION.

Absolutely not my kind of thing, but I like it.
Know what I mean?

Let’s see, what were the new nightmares of the past week? Well, last Sunday they had that Charlie Kirk Grieve-a-thon, and -- as I said at Roy Edroso Breaks It Down, and here, please enjoy that essay as this edition’s first freebie -- it doesn’t seem to have precipitated a Great Fash Awakening, for a few reasons but especially because normal people don’t give a shit. Shoot, even Tubby seemed to lose interest quickly! Besides, they’re already raising a new crop of Hitler Youth to take his place. 

Also they let Jimmy Kimmel back on the air, though the freaks and feebs at Nexstar and Sinclair didn’t cooperate -- which hardly matters because everything’s on the internet now, ha ha and eat shit “mainstream media.”

But mostly the news was bad. Whiskey Pete Hegseth summoned all U.S. generals and admirals, no doubt to take a blood oath to the Führer, and honored the guys who did the Wounded Knee massacre -- guess Lynndie England’s finally gonna get that Medal of Honor! Plus we’re spending billions to shore up the collapsing economy -- of Argentina! Which is important because Milei is Tubby’s brother dictator and if he fucks up it makes all the fascisti look bad. 

As for Tubby’s ravings at the United Nations and about Tylenol and autism -- well, on the one hand, these have serious, negative real-world implications: the former further ruins our relationships with all nations except the fash fiefdoms of Israel, Argentina, India, and of course Russia, at whose behest the wreckage is probably done; the latter similarly harms public health and the ability of Americans (those who aren’t already deep in the woo-hole of quack medicine, that is) to trust their government on matters of self-preservation. Garglin’ Bob’s minions are already fucking with the Tylenol safety label and pushing leucovorin, one of CMS administrator Dr. Oz’s side-hustles, as an autism cure. Take it with ivermectin -- it's what we call a Ladapo Speedball! 

On the other hand -- and this is one of the few affinities I share with the dopes and nihilists who probably gave Tubby his margin of victory -- I do get a kick out of his ravings, which land somewhere between The Last Words of Dutch Shultz and Bruno Ganz in Downfall, only dumber. Still, it would be better if it didn’t have any real-world consequences -- which is what the second of this week’s Roy Edroso Breaks It Down freebies is about.

And the final freebie (yeah, a rare three-fer! What can I say, I'm feelin' civic-minded)  is inspired by the administration’s threats -- after the recent shooting of ICE captives by another guy who allegedly wrote “off the pigs” or some shit on his bullets -- to come after those of us who call them Nazis. Like I say in the freebie: Fuck that noise -- come and get me, copper!  

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: THE REAL VIRTUE SIGNALERS EDITION.

First woke up to her in La Belle Noiseuse. Lovely.

The fash frolics proceed apace. Tubby’s apparently so mad that his prosecutor won’t file false charges of mortgage fraud against a prosecutor who dared convict him that he’s trying to get the poor schmo fired. As people knew in the ages before representative democracy (to which era we seem to be returning), nothing but total capitulation pleases a tyrant.  

Tubby also forced his own idiot lawyers to file a suit against the New York Times for “disparaging Mr. Trump’s reputation as a successful businessman” that was so absurd a judge immediately pitched it back at them and told them to do better. (Bet there’ll be more tantrums over that!) 

And we got testimony in Congress from the fired CDC head further showing that Garglin’ Bob Kennedy’s out of his goddamn mind (“He called CDC the most corrupt federal agency in the world, emphasized that CDC employees were horrible people. He said that CDC employees were killing children and they don't care”) which may explain why he’s trying to kill us all. (Just kidding, it’s eugenics, but he is nuts.) 

The big story is Jimmy Kimmel, and how Trump’ FCC cats-paw Brendan Carr muscled ABC to fire him for displeasing Tubby. (“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” said this servant of the people.) Carr not only admitted this but bragged about it.

Unlike some of their depredations, this one’s getting around, and some of the minions are trying to cover for it; Erick Erickson, for example, claims there is “no proof” that what happened actually happened, and that Kimmel was actually fired for poor ratings. Nonetheless he later admits that “Republicans are cheering on the targeting of ABC and Kimmel” and even talks, hilariously, about how to “de-escalate American politics.” (I wouldn’t know but I guess writing’s easier when you don’t have to think about what you’re saying.) Ted Cruz also tries to have it both ways -- it’s great the enemy of the Leader has been silenced but oooo Big Gummint Overreach woo woo woo. That’s the kind of evasive action that gets you CNN headlines.

In short they know normal people -- as opposed to the fash freaks with whom they surround themselves -- don’t like government censorship, so they’re throwing extra layers of bullshit on top of it. Given Tubby’s ratings I doubt it’s gonna work. Since his current mode is to screech and flail when challenged, and that he has taken to actually saying out that loud people are not allowed to make fun of him, there’s a good chance he’ll try something even more totalitarian in the near future. So, uh, heads-up! (I warned Roy Edroso Breaks It Down readers a year ago that this is how things would go in MAGA II: The Wrath of Tubby, so I suggest you heed my counsel.)

The Kimmel thing is more rotten fruit of the Charlie Kirk assassination. Like I said last week, Kirk was a human hate-speech dispenser, as is evident from the fact that his votaries scrupulously avoid quoting his actual Greatest Hits as they ululate over his martyrdom and try to crybully everyone into either calling him a saint or keeping their mouths shut, and get people who are insufficiently mournful fired (a fitting tribute, as trying to get people kicked out of their jobs was one of Kirk’s enthusiasms). 

While I’m sure there are people in his inner circle who mourn him, most of these assholes obviously take his demise as an opportunity to play victim vicariously and thus disguise their viciousness and totalitarianism while still engaging in that viciousness and totalitarianism. It’s what you’d expect from people who are always yapping about “virtue signaling” -- they really think virtue is nothing but a signal, never having experienced it first-hand, and expect they can just perform it like a Jedi mind trick. Not sure that’s working, either, though. 

Anyway, on to the Roy Edroso Breaks It Down freebies! #1 is Bolt Upright and the Received Opinion Decision Desk trying to report on CK without being allowed to tell viewers what he believed; and #2 is about a new Democratic consultancy absolutely committed to committing to nothing at all, as is the style these days, alas.

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: WHAT'D I MISS EDITION.

Saw Velvet Goldmine recently; it was a whole vibe,
and this tune certainly didn't hurt.

Been a few weeks! Yes, even workhorses such as myself have to stop occasionally and nibble on some hay. But you know what? Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I’m dishing out premium content at the old popsicle stand -- why not grab a so-cheap-it’s-ridiculous subscription? 

Anyway, the big news of the past week seems to be that a guy known almost exclusively for his literal hate speech got shot by another white guy with a flag t-shirt in the communist hotbed of Utah. His acolytes expressed their grief by sending bomb threats to black colleges and demanding people be fired for accurately reporting the deceased’s beliefs.

Some liberal chucklefucks got in on the act, treating the dead provocateur (who had said the Second Amendment was worth some extra deaths, apparently thinking that would never apply to him) like some fallen hero. David Axelrod even got close to comparing him to Martin Luther King -- whom the deceased had shit on. But the man was no Martin Luther King; if anything he was George Lincoln Rockwell. And despite rightwingers desperately trying to confuse you about that, in columns that lavish him with praise but always neglect to tell you what he actually said and believed, his legacy will be pretty much the same.

I had a little to say at Roy Edroso Breaks It Down (the aforementioned popsicle stand), not so much about the guy as about the hall of mirrors in which the discourse over his death has taken place. You can read it for free!  

And here’s another REBID freebie, as I am in the giving vein today, a scene from the Halls of Power in which RFK Jr. reveals a change in policy. That this literally dangerous lunatic has been allowed to continue his rampage against public health tells you everything you need to know about modern conservatism: its adherents are a berserker cult that would kill others and even themselves rather than confess a mutual interest with fellow citizens whom they’ve been trained to despise, and the Republicans exploit that mania for grift. I’m beginning to think Tubby is working Kennedy’s Tylenol-autism lunacy in order to get another shakedown out of it. (“’We engaged in a scientific exchange with the secretary and members of his staff as it relates to the safety of our products,’ Kenvue said in an emailed statement” -- ho ho, I bet they did. Maybe they’ll offer to “fund” “research.”) 

And since I’ve been away and I’m so awfully generous, here’s a rare third free REBID post, a little participatory journalism about my time at last weekend’s We Are All DC rally and march -- because it’s good to be reminded that, despite so much propaganda slop being poured over us, people are waking up, and walking up, to face down the menace. 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: A QUICK ONE WHILE I'M AWAY EDITION.

Keepin' the energy up.

Still on vacation (take heart, Roy Edroso Breaks It Down readers, I rejoin you on Monday!), but thought I’d look in. 

I see that DeSantis’ creeps removed the rainbow-colored crosswalk by the Pulse nightclub in Orlando (scene of a homophobic attack in 2016) -- and that activists accompanied by anti-fascist politicians have painted it back. Good for them! 

This reminds me that a lot of what’s going on now is a kind of cat-and-mouse game with the Trumpkins. Every week brings more lawsuits and street protests to fight back against Tubby’s illegal acts. This also applies to his absurd D.C. takeover, which also has given rise to legal challenges and street defiance with or without the aid of hoagies. We even have at least one Supreme Court Justice basically filing protests in the form of dissents.

Of course the goons have all the advantage, being in charge of the three branches, so this back-and-forth can be wearying. But while extra-political actions is mainly what’s left to us now, new political opportunities are arising. Democrats, feeble as they are, keep on winning special elections. I note that the Texas legislators’ walkout over the GOP gerrymander appears to have bought time for California to get its own counter-gerrymander going, which makes me suspect that was at least part of the plan.

The bad stuff I talk about most of the time -- the Republicans’ increasingly obvious fascism, racism, and outright criminality, with the support of the complaisant and incurious Prestige Press -- is still bad, and getting worse, but it’s good to remember that it’s not only resisted but also unpopular, and maybe unpopular because it’s resisted, because visible resistance defeats the tendency among some of us to just shrug it all off and increases the will to say, you know what, no. Hang tough and see you later. 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD EDITION.

Ah, that's a bit of the old pepper.

I’m on my way out the door for vacation but I can still get mad at stupid shit. Tubby’s seizure of the DC Police Department, on the Reichstaggering grounds of Big Balls’ alleged beating, is about the stupidest and shittiest, and I initially said my say in this, the first of the week’s Roy Edroso Breaks It Down free-to-non-subscribers posts (get ‘em while they’re hot, there’ll be none next week). 

In brief, the whole stunt is the apotheosis of conservative hatred of cities. They spend their Fox-filled days snarling that cities are shit-smeared scumpits that no one would ever want to live in -- and also the apartments are too expensive. They sneer that city-dwellers are all a bunch of weak, woke sissies -- who also fight off roving gangs of thugs to and from the subway every day. It’s incoherent, but with Tubby and his goons poking their amygdalas 24/7 they ignore the contradictions and embrace their hatred of anything different from what their pappy beat into them back in the hollers and subdivisions. 

To them I say, in the words of the old bumper sticker: We come from different worlds. Mine has soap and toothpaste.

One good sign: The locals ain’t having it. They had to let the Eat-Fresh Sandwich Assailant out on bond because the charges were so ridic, and a Grand Jury said get the fuck out of here to a couple of other preposterous prosecutions. These assholes thought it would be fun to fuck with residents of a 90% Democratic town, but they’re finding out that trying to subdue a populace that hates your guts ain’t no picnic. 

Honorable mention to all the rightwingers who say they’re ascared to walk or even drive around DC for fear of crime. I spent a decade there and I know little children with more sense and self-assurance than they have. These guys are either totally abject pussies or just pretending to be so they can nuzzle Tubby’s ballsack, which is even worse. 

Also free to the public: This one on “Trumpsurdism” -- the hyper-unreality and giddy nonsense this administration uses in its propaganda, not to justify its unjustifiable actions but to show the rubes that justice, common sense, and even reality itself don’t matter anymore, only their will does. Hannah Arendt got there first, I guess, but mine has topical references.

In closing: This shit…

A staff mutiny forced the management of a plush British countryside pub to turn away JD Vance, just weeks after the same venue hosted Kamala Harris, according to reports.

The vice president had reportedly attempted to dine at The Bull in Charlbury, Oxfordshire, an early 16th-century countryside pub with a Michelin Bib Gourmand...

However, the staff reportedly staged a mutiny, telling management that they wouldn’t show up to work if the venue accepted Vance’s dinner booking...

…puts me in mind of Lionel Barrymore in Key Largo: “Come over here -- I’d like to spit on you.” Like Old Joe said, anger can be power, and these fuckers should be let to know at every turn that they are interlopers and not welcome -- the necessary prelude to heaving them out.

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMIN' EDITION.

lol

Sorry I missed last week’s edition -- guess I'm really due for a vacation. Or a nervous breakdown. In either case, as St. Augie said, not yet.

In a way I didn’t miss much: The deterioration of our once-great nation proceeds apace. One development that came during my bye-week was the Prestige Press’ spasm of ass-covering over the Gaza genocide -- or, if you’re one of those folks who need to well-akshually the situation, the indiscriminate mass slaughter of thousands of innocents, there, does that make you feel better. This extended twinge of conscience-pretense seems already to be fading as Netanyahu announces the occupation of the wreckage, preparatory no doubt to the grotesque development the fascists have planned for it -- and by the way, if you believe the planted stories about Trump yelling at Netanyahu for killing too many people are legit, stop and think why you’re being let to hear about it; it’s all kayfabe and crocodile tears.

Grim, right? Well, we got a few laughs out of it with Bolt Upright and the Received Opinion crew at Roy Edroso Breaks It Down (REBID), my subscription Substack: Here’s a free link -- two more freebies further down! I’m tardy but generous.

In recent days there have been some absolutely surreal stories — such as (speaking of press manipulation) the alleged attempted “unarmed carjacking” of “Big Balls” Coristine in DC (FREE REBID LINK!), publicized with a picture of BB with Butler, PA-style bloodstreaks and followed by Tubby sending federal officers into the streets of Washington to strut and posture on his behalf. While I enjoy the idea of the little shit getting smacked around by tweens, I’m pretty sure it’s a put-up job. Being mainly known for his vandalism of federal infrastructure and scummy cybercrime connections, Coristine could use an image upgrade if he wants to remain an up-and-coming fash weasel, and is clearly sufficiently morally bankrupt to cooperate with such a scam. The only question is whether even brain-damaged MAGA dummies will give a shit.

As for that weird AI “interview” with a guy who got murdered at Stoneman Douglas High eight years ago (ALSO FREE REBID LINK!): In the words of Curly from The Three Stooges, ngnnnyaahhh. It’s fascinating to see billionaire creeps pushing this shit on us when nearly every real person who ever comes in contact with it is repulsed. We never should have let them have that much money. Of course, there are remedies to that, and I’m willing to entertain the less violent ones first, but only if they actually get done

And since I last pushed out a REBID issue, things have just gotten worse, with some nut shooting up CDC HQ, apparently because he was convinced by nutjobs like the current Secretary of Health and Human Services that the COVID vaccine fucked him up. I know I’m not the only one who sees the absolute necessity of getting ourselves out from under these psychopaths and, further, I’m sure there are way more who think so than the zombies who think it’s great.  The question is what we’re going to do about it and who among our electeds is willing to lead the charge.

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: FUNNY-SAD VS. FUNNY-MAD EDITION.

 I keep the telephone beside me all the time

 It’s been one of those weeks where the bright side and the dark side are one and the same – namely, that the shitheels are not even pretending they’re not shit and the polls show the voters have smelt it. How’s this, from Tubby’s FCC factotum on CBS’ firing Stephen Colbert on his orders, for some fascist display:

Quintanilla’s question, BTW, is as close as any Prestige Press reporter has gotten to directly asking the administration whether they’re doing what they’re obviously doing. But, as with the Epstein thing, the cowardice of the kept media isn’t bamboozling people as effectively as once it did. It’s mind-blowing to see Tubby ranting and raving that maybe his letter to Epstein is a forgery – I mean, not even the MAGA-est good ol’ boy down t’ klavern is gonna buy that, even with the reporters all nodding politely. And they’re not gonna buy it when Ghislaine Maxwell cuts a deal to get out of prison in exchange for her “cooperation.” 

Of course, Tubs will get away with it, and the big downside to him getting away with it without even the simulacrum of popular support he once had is that some people will get discouraged and cease to push back. Which I guess leaves it to those of us who still have free souls (which leaves out the Columbia finks) to push back twice as hard.

Speaking of discouragement and encouragement, one thing I want to say about the South Park thing: It’s pretty funny and good for them, but when I see people acting like Trey Parker and Matt Stone joined the Resistance I must raise a demurrer. Don’t mistake what they did for principle. The best thing about these guys, and generally the only thing I still like about them, is that they don’t give a fuck about anything – they knew tweaking Tubby would draw some needed attention to their aged franchise, and they’re still milking it.

Stone and Parker accomplished with South Park what only a very few satirists have managed: They convinced the audience that it isn’t really satire, at least not of anything they actually believed in. Back in 1907 Booth Tarkington and Harry Leon Wilson were surprised to find that a boorish character in their innocents-abroad play The Man From Home – who announced from the stage that he wouldn't “trade our State Insane Asylum for the worst ruined ruin in Europe” – was taken as a hero by American audiences; “they didn't laugh at him forgivingly,” Tarkington wrote; “they applauded thunderously. In all such matters they felt as he did." Stone and Parker figured this angle out quicker, and have been slapping their audience in the face with it for decades. What is MAGA, after all, but a nation of Cartmans?

And like I said: good for them! Writing’s a hard dollar and satire a handicap; Swift had his deanery to fall back on. And we can always use a laugh. But what will turn the wheel is outrage, and there’s no outrage without morality. Seek it elsewhere.

Speaking of which, the Roy Edroso Breaks It Down freebies: first, another episode of Received Opinion with Bolt Upright, Peoni Doyenne, and Chafe Dramaturgy going "Whither Epstein"; and a little essay on what some of the regime's word games reveal about their view of the world.  

SATURDAY ‘ROUND THE HORN: BRIDE OF EPSTEIN EDITION.

I'm still playin' the victim and you still playin' the pick-me.

I don’t usually front-load these weekly updates with a Roy Edroso Breaks It Down free issue link, but as the world’s all-in on Epsteinmania I'll start with my essay on the blow-up and why it’s as potent as it is. 

Short version: The people who are accustomed to joke and sneer away Tubby’s other deficiencies can’t do it in this case. You can’t rile your rubes with stories about how you’re not the pedophile, they’re the pedophile, and you have a magic document that proves it, and then tell them the magic document doesn’t exist, and then that it was created by the Democrats, and then tell everybody to shut up, without consequences. Particularly when you’re fucking up everything else.

We’ll have to wait for history to tell us what ratfuckery made them fumble the bag so badly. But I’m guessing this is a clue: That the only fresh evidence (as opposed to the evidence that’s been well-known for years) of Tubby’s pedo-propensities has been supplied by Satan’s emissary Rupert Murdoch. 

It kind of figures. The fake-liberal Prestige Press has been effectively cowed by the administration’s goon squad tactics. (You saw how completely CBS folded to Tubby on Steven Colbert, right? “Financial decision” means they can’t afford another extortionate lawsuit.) But rightwing outlets like the Wall Street Journal never needed cowing – they see Trump wreaking havoc on civil liberties, climate repair, racial justice etc. and can hardly believe their luck – all they had to do was make this moron a lame duck, and he’ll happily help them turn America into a corporate slave state. 

But with his tariff tantrums Tubby’s also fucking with their money, and Bessent and Lutnick have proven themselves totally incapable of pulling the leash. So it’s time for a little muckraking – on behalf of the oligarchs!

Well, why not – the fascists have long adopted the language of civil rights to steal civil rights; see Gruppenführer Stephen Miller’s lawsuit against Johns Hopkins, describing the school’s scholarships for poor black kids as racism, for a particularly ripe example. So why not jiu-jitsu journalism for those purposes as well? It’s not like any voter under the age of 80 has ever had a decent education in civics.

Please don’t take this to mean I’m against it. Let the fash titans fight! Meanwhile the fake liberal Prestige Press has its hands full trying to hold back the trend of Democrats who will actually fight – with the help of Democrats who will only pretend to fight. If we get some breaks, maybe we’ll get more nominees who’ll offer people something they want more than racism and sabotage (or slightly-less-racism-and-sabotage).

Speaking of which, it’s something to contemplate that another massive failure of conservative governance – Texas' and FEMA’s fuckups in the flash floods that killed a bunch of kids – has disappeared from the news. Joe Biden stumbles over his words and it’s months of front-page stories; a tragic example shows just how antithetical to human health and safety MAGA really is, and it’s like it never happened. Well, we’ll always have the spectacle of the completely unqualified MAGA FEMA head stumbling onto the scene several days late dressed for a luau, as immortalized in my comic playlet. Enjoy! 

SUNDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: SAW THE NAZIS GETTIN' SLOPPY EDITION.

I follow Robert Christgau because how can I not,
but also because he catches me up on acts like this.

On the one hand, the outrages never cease; on the other hand, it’s a great age for grim amusements! For example,  for 10 days after the catastrophic Texas floods that FEMA (and the local authorities) fucked up, FEMA figurehead David Richardson was entirely AWOL, but this weekend they finally dug him up (literally, from the looks of him) and put him in front of a map, a Texas flag, and some other doughy white dudes to glower and posture, as discovered by the mighty Marisa Kabas: 

Like Woody Allen almost said, 80% of success is showing up – ten days late!  Look at the fucker:

I assume they found him passed out in a nearby motel room strewn with crack pipes and empty tequila bottles and THANX FOR THE WALLET BITCH! scrawled in lipstick on the mirror. (The shower was broken so the federal “rescue team” took him to the pool and dunked him before transporting him to his photo op.) 

This is the whole MAGA approach: Destroy institutions/kill people with your incompetence and maliciousness, then (like Kristi Noem) swagger onto the scene in some outlandish costume to announce the success of the operation. 

We knew from the start their goal was to wreck enough government services that people might forget a competent government ever existed and that their tax dollars once did anything but pay off Tubby and his goons. But, boy, they’ve been sloppy about it – and maybe that’s a built-in problem for them, because the vicious arrogance that makes them want to do it in the first place is also what makes them so lazy about pretending they’re doing anything else. Showing up and doing your job? That’s for losers. Real leaders strut for the cameras and then peace out. 

I like to think the slight backtracking these bastards have done – like Tom “Evil Stubby Kaye” Homan pretending he gives a shit about due process and ICE’s prey, and Noem claiming Tubby no longer wants to get rid of FEMA – is a sign, not of progress, but of panic. They’ll find their footing again soon and try some new outrages, but at least there’s a bit of a window now to slip some mines in their path.

Like the Epstein files! That’s another example of Trump’s gang believing they can be totally careless about their racket – in this case, ginning up a scandal for years and then saying whoops, never happened --  and not get blowback. I see their current plan is to stonewall and make the MAGA faithful eat it, which is great, because every minute they stick at it more voters finally get wise to them. Of course that won’t matter if we don’t have elections anymore, but as Vaclav Havel said: Act as if. 

Freebies from Roy Edroso Breaks It Down: First, Elon Musk runs his newly Free Speechified Grok past some prominent Jewish conservatives – hilarity ensues! And: An essay about a curious trend among the “liberal media” (what I call the Prestige Press) to side with the old, reactionary, time-serving and unpopular Democrats against the young, popular, progressive Democrats, and why that may be a bigger problem than Trump. 

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: SO FAT DON CAN READ IT WITHOUT HIS GLASSES EDITION.

If you hate us, you just don't know what you're sayin'.

A lot of people are gloomy this Independence Day, so right out of the gate here's today's Roy Edroso Breaks It Down essay on why you could be (not should be, no pressure!) less gloomy. Briefly, America and its birthday are yours and mine, not the assholes'. 

Not that the recent catastrophes aren't daunting. The budget bill is insane, as are the lies they're telling to razzle-dazzle the rubes -- like that "nearly 90% of Social Security beneficiaries will no longer pay federal income taxes on their benefits" (that's bullshit) and that there are no Medicaid cuts (also bullshit). And the expansion of ICE is clearly meant to elevate it from a Sturmabteilung to a Gestapo. I'm a little surprised that, when Tubby and his mob push their creepy "Alligator Alcatraz" propaganda with pictures of alligators wearing ICE hats, no one seems to notice that an alligator would as happily eat a MAGA chucklefuck as it would an immigrant. 

And the Prestige Press won't do shit for us. You see how the New York Times used oppo from a racist chud to try and make something of Zohran Mamdani putting African-American on a form when he's literally from Africa? These fuckers get more obvious about who and what they support all the time, and "liberal media" they ain't. 

Yeah, we got a hill to climb, no question. But then so did the Continental Army. Act as if ye had faith, etc. 

Also from REBID, here's something else that might brighten your outlook (or not! No judgment!): A look back at the "reality-based" community thing and why that might point to a way out. And, just for fun, Bolt Upright and Received Opinion ask, "concentration camps — in or out?"

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: ANYTHING THAT CAN'T GO ON, WON'T EDITION.

If I’m not mistaken I’m surely right.

Still recovering from surgery, I woke up late this morning to the smell of burning Constitution. I thought any decision on Trump v CASA less extreme than “14th Amendment is invalid if Dear Leader says so” would be a relief, but this one basically makes it incredibly hard to defend the rights guaranteed under that (I must emphasize) Constitutional Amendment if you live in one of America’s many MAGA fiefdoms. And, as has been pointed out, it also remains to be seen whether a citizen of a blue state will still be treated as a citizen when crossing a red state line – or whether they can be snatched by Tubby’s goon squads and sent to a foreign torture camp if they do.

In other words, Fugitive Slave Act bullshit. Deliberately.

This has to be fixed and I don’t mean stern letters from Chuck Schumer. Democrats absolutely have to yeet all their centrists into the sea (start with Chuck and fucking Gillibrand) and go whole hog for programs that were once thought radical, including and especially expanding the Court – because otherwise what’s the point in running for office: Who will vote for a candidate who admits up front that the policies they’re running on, and that their constituents want, can just be invalidated by six appointed fascists?

Well, let us hope you and I are not the only ones who get it. I know a lot of New York Democrats are getting it – how ‘bout that Zohran? Your Roy Edroso Breaks It Down freebie this week, building on a related alicublog post, is my consideration of Mamdani's primary victory and the meaning of it. The scumbags currently trying to derail him on his way to Gracie Mansion  -- not just the out racist creeps, but also the New York Times and other Prestige Press outlets  -- are not just opposing a candidate; they’re opposing the whole idea that anything can possibly get better. But on the contrary: Most of us know, and more are leaning every day, that things can’t possibly stay the same. How’s that for hope? Well, for now it’ll have to do.

FRDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN: LIFE-RAFTS IN THE FLOOD EDITION.

The Spanish guys working on the building down the street played this.
They know what's good.

I'll be less attentive to the collapse of the Republic over the next week because I'm having surgery. Prospects are good but if it all goes south, best of luck and see you on the other side.

Meantime, oy. There's too much bullshit flooding in to keep track. (You following me on Bluesky? I keep better tabs there.) Two recent stories in particular capture the bleak moment for me: "Baby of brain-dead pregnant woman kept alive under abortion law has been delivered, family says." (Surprised the state hasn't kept her alive and pumped with sperm so she can keep producing babies until her corpse gives out.) And: "Caroline [Va.] man pleads guilty to shooting Latino men because he thought they were immigrants." Time for another NYT/WaPo story about how political violence is a bothsides thing! 

Not everything is terrible. As a New York exile I have taken heart from Zohran Mamdani's refreshing and encouraging DSA campaign for Mayor, but Cuomo and his asshole enablers in the musty old Democratic Party and the New York Goddamn Fucking Times (taking a break from their trans-hate onslaught) have cued up the Wicked Witch of the West music and are trying to fuck it all up. Wake up, guys! A better ward is possible! 

Another good New York thing: Hamilton Nolan's essay, "The Subway Is Not Scary/Fear of the subway is a mark of low moral character":

When I say this, you may read my meaning to be, “The subways are fine if you are brave,” or “Riding the subway is a character-building because it teaches you to be tough.” No. I’m not saying that. I’m saying that the subway is fine. It is not scary. It is the standard mode of transportation for millions of New Yorkers. Six million rides a day. Let me try to put it in terms that a non-New Yorker can understand. “I am scared of riding the Google shuttle bus to my job at Google.” “I am scared of riding the Epcot monorail.” See how crazy that sounds? Same basic thing.

As you know I've been beating this drum for years: Conservatives use fake horror stories about city life to promote fear and hatred of cities as a political tool. I love pushing back on it, not only because it's a lie but also because I'm convinced it's fast becoming a losing proposition -- most Americans live in metro areas, for Chrissakes!  And even the Los Angeles invasion -- a classic "strafe a few city blocks with tear gas and rubber bullets and then blame liberalism" con job -- seems not to be as popular as Tubby and his goons assumed. I'm with this guy in general:

We're not (just) fighting a deformed political philosophy. We're fighting bullshit. Standing for truth isn't a chore! 

OK, you want Roy Edroso Breaks It Down freebies? Here you go -- first, speaking of positivity, my firsthand report from the local No Kings event and why protests are a good idea too. And here's the Received Opinion Decision Desk gang handling the political assassination in Minnesota with all the bothsiding at the disposal. Well, as another dim but righteous anchorman used to say: Courage!