Hippie infestation...
Apparently unaware that it doesn’t have the weather advantages that other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles, anyone?), Seattle seems to be ready to set a record for how many businesses it can ruin.
The earnest idiots who whip up this minimum wage frenzy... "...BECAUSE FAIRNESS.” No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.
What they don’t discuss is just how stifling this progressive feel good, math-hating nonsense is to current and aspiring small business owners.
Because they want to drive as many people as they can into financial hell.Seriously, what is he bitching about? He believes in the market, right? So this foolish decision will cause businesses to abandon commie Seattle for the red-state hinterland, and capitalism wins! I can see those bright folks currently working at Seattle-based businesses like Amazon, Starbucks, Safeco, Nordstrom, Cray, Corbis, et alia, not to mention the venture capitalists and internet jockeys, and the hipster entrepreneurs of Sub Pop and Babeland, deciding they've had enough of this command economy and running off to Fritters, Alabama or North Dakota to enjoy all the freedom and fracking.
Maybe this'll be the tipping point for that great blue-red inversion of economic energy Joel Kotkin, Rick Perry, and other great minds are always predicting.
Of course it'll take a while:
As Steve Allen first said and I like to repeat, how ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen the farm?
UPDATE. Some commenters are wondering what kind of capitalist announces his desire to keep workers' wages down. I doubt Kruiser really qualifies as a capitalist, though maybe he employs a maid. Neither do the wingnut-welfare cases at libertarian flagship Reason qualify, which explains this headline: "Seattle Prepares for Robot Revolution by Setting $15 Minimum Wage." At first I thought they meant that granting peons an almost-living wage would speed the rise of robot workers, though bosses need no such provocation and in fact already employ robots as soon as they can get them. You aren't going to slow them down by pretending to be happy with shit wages.
Then I realized it was a revenge fantasy.
Interesting too that they found a cleaning lady who allegedly had a "401k, health insurance, paid holiday, and vacation" only to see it see it ruined by the high-minimum-wage commissars. Maybe the poor woman should get out of that line of work and start driving a cab.
Wow. That map kinda says it all.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost as if America's Heartland is a white trash dystopia... oh,wait, right.
No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.
ReplyDeleteOkay, let's discuss that! It really shouldn't be! And yet in many cases it is. So with that in mind, singlehandedly fix economic mobility issues, raise the minimum wage, or shut up.
Or all three! They're all fine choices.
In fact, Mr. Kruiser, pull off those first two and - at a great cost in personal sacrifice - I won't require that you shut up.
"Grocery stores fear him... Man creates brain-dead simple system to cutting your grocery bill by 90% (HINT: It's NOT Coupons)... Click Here"
ReplyDeleteIs it time for the U.S. TO INVADE SYRIA? VOTE!
ReplyDeleteWhere are all these people who are supposedly demanding that entry-level foodservice or retail be their lifelong career?
ReplyDeleteLiving just across the border from the socialist hell of Seattle, I'm looking forward to the influx of fast-food joints that will flock to the heretofore undiscovered Galtian paradise of the Eastside, leaving Seattletes to enjoy their craft cocktails and arugula.
ReplyDeleteFlip the red and the blue, and it'll mimic the 2000 election map.
ReplyDeleteYou know, the one where rocks and trees were granted the right to vote.
No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.
ReplyDeleteTell that to your team and their policies, you parasitic little fuck.
I won't require that you shut up.
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm sorry, I generally approve of your platform, but this point is non-negotiable. (In the spirit of cooperation however, I'm willing to drop his shutting up being caused by "choking on a bag of salted dicks.")
I'll let the Center for Economic Policy Research handle the rebuttal:
ReplyDeleteAn analysis of government data on fast food workers, however, tells a different story. First of all, only about 30 percent of fast food workers are teenagers. Another 30 percent are between the ages of 20 and 24. The remaining 40 percent are 25 and older. (All the data we present here are from the government’s Current Population Survey, where we have combined data for the years 2010 through 2012 in order to provide a large enough sample for analysis.) Half of fast food workers are 23 or older. Many teenagers do work in fast food, but the majority of fast food workers are not teenagers.
http://www.cepr.net/documents/publications/fast-food-workers-2013-08.pdf
Conservative's resistance to minimum-wage increases seems difficult to understand--until you realize that they view the economy is a dichotomy. In one part of that dichotomy are the wealthy. Every extra dollar that goes into their pockets is a measure of the strength and prosperity of America.
ReplyDeleteIn the other part of that dichotomy is everyone else. Every extra dollar that goes into the pocket of someone who is not wealthy represents a loss, a weakening of America. Allowing the poor to become less poor is an affront.
Besides, as every conservative worth his or her salt will tell you, the poor are very well off in this country. Better off, in fact, than people with middle-income jobs. Which explains why so many conservatives really want to be poor.
No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.
ReplyDeleteThis guy thinks $15.00 an hour is an adult income wage for life? Well, his bio doesn't say, " successful comedian and writer."
Well, I'm sure by the end of today Seattle will be a ghost town as people flee to the suburbs to find a Big Mac that doesn't cost $15 bucks. Yep. Aaaaany minute now....anyone got any board games or something?
ReplyDeleteaspiring small business owners.
ReplyDeleteAspiring small businesses like McDonalds, Starbucks, and Walmart?
other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles, anyone?)
A city of 3.8 million has priced itself out of existence? I didn't notice. Is this guy one of those 'anti-humor' comedians?
BTW, that argument about people fleeing New York/LA/whatever always makes me crack up. Yes, guys, people are leaving because they can't afford the rent and cost-of-living, because demand to live there is so high that it's jacking the prices sky-high. Seriously, Wall Street firms are among the most psychotically competitive institutions on the planet. You don't think that if one of them thought they could relocate to Fritters, AL and stay competitive they'd do it? They stay in New York because they know they wouldn't stay competitive, and the benefits of doing business there for them (if not for the average citizen) outweigh the costs.
Seriously, what is he bitching about? He believes in the market, right? So this foolish decision will cause businesses to abandon commie Seattle for the red-state hinterland, and capitalism wins!
ReplyDeletePresumably he's bitching because he knows this isn't what'll happen, and what'll happen instead is that a burger-flipper might feel some reprieve from grinding, 24/7 financial anxiety. And that would be terrible.
Apparently unaware that it doesn’t have the weather advantages that other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles, anyone?), Seattle seems to be ready to set a record for how many businesses it can ruin.
ReplyDeleteEr? This is what happens when "professional comedians" try and "write", the unfunny ones at least. They still try and shoehorn in a couple of "jokes" using stage patter ("anyone"?) only to make even less sense than if they wrote a straight piece as to why lowly workers deserve any wage at all.
Also, all it takes is a very, very, VERY simple understanding of how markets work (supply, demand) to know that places almost NEVER "price" themselves out of existence. There might be a correction or two someday, but then the cycle just starts up again because that's where the beauty, the culture, the bars, the education, the jobs and the industries are.
The earnest idiots who whip up this minimum wage frenzy... "...BECAUSE FAIRNESS.”
ReplyDeleteThe best thing about the income inequality debate is the percentage of right-wingers who insist the minimum wage debate consists of The Left clamoring for "fairness" in a world that was intended by God Himself to be unfair (100%). Sure, let's live by an eternal Game of Thrones morality that we sustain mainly by each imagining ourselves to be the unassailable Tywin Lannister. Good plan.
It never occurs to them that the other side isn't here to take away their stuff in a whiny class war, but is actually looking for ways to fine-tune the very same system to achieve its maximum sustainability.
What seems to be missing from this "discussion" (at least on one side), is that the increase will be phased in over SEVEN years. To listen to the howls of outrage on the right, you'd think the commissars would be pounding on the doors of the Jack in the Box come Monday morning, demanding everybody's pay stubs.
ReplyDeleteApparently unaware that it doesn’t have the weather advantages that
ReplyDeleteother places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles,
anyone?), Seattle
OK, we're done. An average high temperature range of 46-76 is, for a lot of people, an advantage—if you actually like spending time outside. Everyone I know who's ever lived in Seattle likes this about the city, because there are lots of beautiful places to go outside and not many days when it sucks too much to go to them.
My favorite graphic in forever! We should allocate resources like this! What??
ReplyDeleteThat's precisely why I am moving there in September.
ReplyDeleteCurious as to where the graphic is from. Did not see it in the link.
ReplyDeleteAngelinos (some of course) have a weird relationship with their weather. It doesn't get cold, fine, we get it. But the weather varies quite a bit from the beach to more inland, and many justify the fact that nobody walks anywhere (changing, I know) by saying that it's too hot.
ReplyDeleteAlmost all places in the US have shitty weather 4 months per year. There are a couple of exceptions.
LA by the beach is always cool and really clammy feeling to me.
ReplyDeleteI loved that from the first time I saw it. I bookmarked it here and I think you can tell who produced it from the links.
ReplyDeletehttp://blogs.marketwatch.com/capitolreport/2014/02/19/the-incredible-gdp-map-that-shows-half-of-output-generated-by-a-few-cities/
What they don’t discuss is just how stifling this progressive feel good, math-hating nonsense is to current and aspiring small business owners.
ReplyDeleteI know a couple small business owners, and they don't mention feeling stifled by having to pay their own workers.
They are very intelligent, hardworking, creative dudes who are excited to run their own business. The strategies and relationships involved, the devising goals and plans -- these guys love it. And given what seems like the level of ingenuity and energy demanded, I can't imagine there are a lot of other dudes who have a real shot at success whose personality in addition includes a heavy dose of "I'd succeed, too, if not for these stifling laws!" It just doesn't seem like part of the personality recipe, as I know it.
Of course, that's quite a caveat; it's possible there is another type of business owner. Like that Joe the Plumber idiot -- you know, they guy who didn't actually have his own million-dollar business yet, but fantasized he might, and was voting against the concept of taxes (and therefore Obama) because it made it sound like all his hypothetical hard work would be for naught in Imaginary Future, based on his misunderstanding of how tax brackets function. Who knows!
A city of 3.8 million has priced itself out of existence?
ReplyDeleteSomeone missed the series finale of Angel, I see.
I second that, and I'm willing to supply extra salt.
ReplyDeleteSo wingnuts know just as much about small business as they do about how a soldier should behave in a combat zone. But they're sure as shit not going to let that stop them from lecturing everyone about it, all the time.
ReplyDeleteBasically, they're just assholes.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/genius-and-madness/200809/is-political-conservatism-mild-form-insanity
~
Your second-to-last point is a very good one. The way even many left-wing people idealize small businesses is pretty silly. On the left it usually takes the form of, "Well, better working for Mom and Pop than some soulless corporation" (admittedly, this sentiment appeals even to many/most right-wing workers, though obviously less so to right-wing elites). This is hardly a universal truth. Mom and Pop can exploit you just as easily - more easily in some ways, as you point out - as McDonald's can, and are significantly likelier to say, "Whoops, don't have enough to cover payroll this week, so you'll be getting paid late. Good luck with those bills!"
ReplyDelete"No need to see that balsam's ID, registrar! I knowed that tree all mah life!"
ReplyDeleteJust dont give him your dick.
ReplyDeleteI want to play Parchese with this comment. Or maybe Chutes and Ladders.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of CEPR:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cepr.net/index.php/blogs/beat-the-press/npr-hypes-the-job-loss-story-on-restricting-carbon-dioxide-emissions
By comparison, our trade deficit means that an amount of demand equal to 3 percent of GDP is being spent abroad rather than in the United States. This directly translates into a loss of roughly 4.1 million jobs. If we could lower the value of the dollar relative to other currencies by enough to reduce the trade deficit by just 10 percent (0.3 percentage points of GDP), it would lead to 410,000 more jobs in the United States. This is more than five times as many jobs as we stand to lose in the coal industry over the next 15 years. In principle the reduction in the trade deficit can be accomplished in a relatively short period of time. Declines in the value of the dollar led to sharp reductions in the trade deficit (more than 2 percentage points of GDP) in the periods from 1987-1989 and 2005-2010.
---
~
Oops -- had the wrong link on the line "that may take a while" before -- check here: http://www.businessinsider.com/us-gdp-map-2014-2
ReplyDeleteWait, you mean people ARE actually discussing these things, with evidence and stuff? UNPOSSIBLE.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure it's not to suck up that $15/hr wage while attaining your lifelong goal of working the men's fragrance counter at Macy's?
ReplyDeleteWe just tell people from out of state that the weather sucks (or rather, don't correct them) to keep the assholes out. Yeah man, weather's terrible. That's why we drink that coffee and listen to grunge music!
ReplyDeletemath-hating nonsense
ReplyDeleteThis from the guy who apparently can't figure out that a $15 wage increases the cost of a Big Mac by 68 cents.
Yes, yes, Mickey D's has economies of scale that the noble, small independent businessperson doesn't, and that's who Stevie is thinking of with such concern ... and which is why it's a franchise owner's trade group which is threatening to sue to overturn the city council's unanimous decision. Unanimous. Wow, you'd think all those small business owners who drive Seattle's economy would have turned out to vote and kept this from happening.
Of course he's miffed. These tossers rely on people not doing the things they say will be disastrous because it's the only way they can hope to maintain the illusion that they aren't completely full of shit.
ReplyDeleteRemember when Obamacare was going to ruin the economy by putting every business out of business including health insurance companies? And before that, when Massachusetts' equal marriage law was going to crush civilization like a bug? See also ending DADT, Medicare, integrating schools and giving women and African-Americans the vote.
And finally
What they don’t discuss is just how stifling this progressive feel good,
math-hating nonsense is to current and aspiring small business owners.
I notice this asshat doesn't discuss it either. But hey, everyone knows the evil liberals tied up the business owners and didn't give them a say in the drafting of the legislation or allow them to vote.
As an aside, am I the only one who wonders when they'll come up with an alternate epithet to Hippie? I was raised by hippies in an area where hippies lingered and a barely remember what the hell a hippie is. I can't imagine what the kids think.
There's also the fact that to idiots like this guy, all urban (working) poor are, well, "urban" really says it all, amirite?
ReplyDeleteYeah man, weather's terrible.
ReplyDeleteThe Allen Institute for Brain Science (the last part should really be in all caps) puts it thus on their careers page:
The temperatures are mild, and it rains much less than you might imagine.
Someone probably needs to shut them up.
How sad to be a conservative comedian and writer and find that not only is Roy is 20 times better, basically just by straight reporting but the comments kick your ass as well.
ReplyDeleteand didn't give them a say in the drafting of the legislation
ReplyDeleteAn excellent point that I didn't manage to shoehorn into my previous comment. From USA Today's article on the move:
The ordinance was drafted by an advisory group of labor, business and non-profit professionals.
Okay, maybe current small business owners might have been able to get a word in edgewise. But aspiring ones were left high and dry.
Not to mention, having adequate sources of water for your metropolitan area isn't a bad thing either.
ReplyDeletemost franchise owners nowadays are not community members or "small business persons with a dream"; they are, in fact, hedge funds.
ReplyDeleteAs always, my fondest wish is that people like Kruiser get all their policy dreams implemented with the full force of law--and that people like Kruiser then lose all their money and are forced to live under those policies.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Who WAS it that crashed the economy forcing people to work formerly entry level jobs for life?
ReplyDeleteAlthough, in fairness, mom-n-pop are much more likely to give you time off to deal with your sick child/dying parent/broken car than a bigger concern. Usually the bigger business will give you permanent time off just for having one of those difficulties that all of us human encounter every now and again.
ReplyDelete>In the other part of that dichotomy is everyone else. Every extra dollar
ReplyDeletethat goes into the pocket of someone who is not wealthy represents a
loss, a weakening of America. Allowing the poor to become less poor is
an affront.
I think the other issue is that when a lot of conservatives think about redistribution of wealth, they view the transfer of wealth as permanent. Like, if we tax Mr. Rich $20k per year and give it to Mr. Poor, in twenty years Mr. Rich is broke and Mr. Poor is riding around in a Lamborghini. But the whole point of giving money to the poor isn't to make them rich, it's to ALLOW THEM TO PURCHASE BASIC NEEDS. When they spend the money, and poor people spend all of their money, it will go right back to Mr. Rich.
I don't believe there is a single conservative commentator alive who realizes that giving a dollar to a poor person will rapidly result in someone other than that poor person holding the dollar.
I have no doubt a lot of folks were a bit startled to find out that their fucking $5 burger was *not* the result of the burger-flippers being paid too much.
ReplyDeleteI also think the 15¢ extra McDowners has to charge to get that pay raise back will sneak right past most of 'em.
Well, we need to repeat that 'isn't supposed to be' line as often as possible in order to maximise the humiliation those working such jobs well into adulthood are supposed to feel. The humiliation is key, otherwise we'd automate the job out of existence (no fun trying to humiliate a robot...so far), and is part of the 'We won't let you completely starve as long as you act and feel sufficiently humiliated.' upon which much of our system is based.
ReplyDeleteWait until Seattle becomes an economic Boom Town, and see what this witty fellow has to say.
ReplyDeleteI think an hour's wages should be able to buy 4 gallons of gasoline. Thats what it did when I got my first job @ $1.65 per hour (actually it could buy 5+ gallons).
ReplyDelete"You don't think that if one of them thought they could relocate to Fritters, AL and stay competitive they'd do it?"
ReplyDeleteWell, Rod Dreher telecommutes from Gatorbutt, LA, but then, he's pretty much in a one-man boutique niche...
It's a total crapshoot. If you're lucky you might end up working for a decent, compassionate employer. But there are plenty of small business owners who are megalomaniacal and tyrannical (it's a personality type that's frequently attracted to business ownership) who will absolutely fire you for petty reasons.
ReplyDeleteMeh, in my experience, small businesses will give you as much "time off" as you want for most things. They just won't pay you for any of it. Whereas big businesses actually do give paid sick days, paid such and such leaves, "personal days," vacations days and so on. Of course, big businesses, as I mentioned, have their faults too.
ReplyDeleteOne of which is, yeah, they are quicker, much quicker, to lay off or fire than most Moms and Pops. To a big business, an employee is a cog. To a small business, an employee actually is rather important. The time it takes to find a replacement and train her and so on matters. Also, sure, most Mom and Pops are less cold hearted too.
I think their horror is based on the fact that if minimum wage is $15, then the "average" wage will have to be, what, $30 per hour? And "good wages" $50? OH THE HUMANITY!
ReplyDeleteSee what happens when you make Dennis Miller your hero?
ReplyDeleteIt was the most appealing of all the communities that have yet to politely indicate that maybe he should stop bothering them.
ReplyDelete"I notice this asshat doesn't discuss it either."
ReplyDeleteDiscussion? This is PJMedia we're talking about, where all the members of the closed circle of readers/commenters have heard the same lines so many times before that it's like the old joke about telling jokes in a prison where all the inmates have read the same joke book, and all anyone has to do is shout out a number to get a laff. Discussion? Fuggettaboudit
How funny! A right-wing "comic" and "writer" defends low wages. Isn't that a bit like delivering the punch line before the joke?
ReplyDeleteOBUMMER FORECED PEOPLE TO MOVE TO SEATTLE BUT THERE ALL HIPPIE QUEERMONAUTS SO I DON'T CARE!!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprise they haven't been posting this:
ReplyDeleteApparently his Big Book of Supposed To Be doesn't say comedians are supposed to be funny.
ReplyDeleteLook for a return of the "Will the Last Person Leaving Seattle - Please Turn Out the Lights" billboards.
ReplyDeleteI'll put on my employer's hat for a moment:
ReplyDeleteI ran a small non-profit radio station for a couple of years. It had two employees when I started--myself and the engineer. I added two more over the next two years (a sales person and a producer). None of us made much money, none of us had benefits.
As the boss, I knew these jobs sucked from a pay perspective, and the station did not have the resources to give anyone a raise. So I made sure that I compensated for that by being very free with time off whenever someone needed it, sticking up for the employees in any disputes with the board of directors, and digging into my own pocket to help each of them with their personal crises.
My point is that just because the enterprise isn't churning out huge profits does not mean you have to treat your employees like garbage. And not all compensation is monetary. Sometimes just being an understanding human being is what it takes to make a low-wage job worthwhile to your employees. These, apparently, are concepts lost on many employers.
Spokane is even now bracing for the tsunami of incoming Heroic Franchise Owners.
ReplyDeleteWait. Were you the one who threw live turkeys out of the helicopter for Thanksgiving????? I've always wanted to meet you!
ReplyDeleteIf you look at the guild agreement for right-wing comics, you'll find that they are barred from being funny or evolving beyond a single schtick. See Dennis Miller for one prime example. Or that other racist moron with the ventriloquist dummy.
ReplyDeleteRight you are.
ReplyDeleteRiding w/ an Englishman one night, the radio weather-weasel said it was a "chilly" 57°F. We both laughed.
No. Though I did end up causing a stampede in our tiny downtown when a local store gave away $10,000 in jewelry.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm really curious about what kind of shape Stevie's tip jar is in at the end of a typical night at The Komedy Korner.
ReplyDelete99% of their schtick is unspecified bad thing happening to unspecified person. The unknown aspiring business owners who never got beyond the aspiring stage because a higher minimum wage squished his dreams. The unknown current business owner who had to make a penis cake because Gay Marriage squished his religion. The unknown man who didn't get admitted to Harvard because Affirmative Action crushed his chances of success. That unknown zygote that didn't get to be the first man on the moon because abortion ...
ReplyDeleteOoooh. You're THAT one, eh? Lemme buy you a beer.
ReplyDeleteThe wage increase only increases the cost of Big Macs if the franchise owner decides to be a dickweed about it.
ReplyDeleteReally, a business owner who has to immediately pass along every change in costs to his customers should probably not be a business owner.
So maybe this will be a sort of survival of a fittest. The strong businesses will survive, the weak eaten by their betters. Those guys like that sort nature red in tooth and claw, every man for himself shit, don't they?
He'd like to tell you but it keeps getting stolen.
ReplyDeleteHippies are squares with long hair/And they don't wear no underwear
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/fOC0mDFkwUo
A city of 3.8 million has priced itself out of existence? I didn't notice. Is this guy one of those 'anti-humor' comedians?
ReplyDeleteHe got his MBA in Humor Management Comedy.
It's a destination, not a fly-over.
ReplyDeleteExcellent points about small businesses. I can't help but think of Maggie's Farm: "she fines you every time you slam the door".
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much Stepho paid Peejayem to publish that tripe?
ReplyDeleteOT - 100% of my sisters bloodied their fists in the post-Elliot Rodger manitude brawl at dKos. They kept e-mailing me horrible comments they found. But I got one "THIS!" comment from each of them - different comments, but same commenter. You. Keep it up and you may have to come to the farm for Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteProbably because the jar is more valuable than the tips in it.
ReplyDeleteMore than it was worth, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteThe tips are pre-emptively stolen by those coastal elite moochers.
ReplyDeleteThe greatest fear of the righties is that they aren't needed at all. There's nothing they can threaten to withdraw that would hurt liberals. They can't even claim that the liberals would starve without red-staters, because California, Illinois, Minnesota, and New York are agricultural powerhouses.
ReplyDeleteI could cover almost all of my nutritive needs by hitting farmers' markets run by groovy, crunchy people who live within one hundred miles of my urban hellhole, and cover the rest with products sourced in other blue states.
I read that as the Alien Institute For Brain Science. Now that's what I call a band name.
ReplyDeleteBetter a band name than an actual institute, as rectal probes are not the best tool for brain research. Well, OK, maybe if they mostly pick up right-wing "comedians."
ReplyDeleteAs a Chicagoan, my android future self is counting on Lake Michigan being our ticket to riches.
ReplyDeletePossibly they don't even put one out because Stevie's been accusing the wait-staff of stealing his tips and no one has the heart to tell him what's really happening.
ReplyDeleteHey Wingnuts,
ReplyDeleteThe minimum wage in Sierra Leone is 3 ¢ an hour.
Whatever happened to John Bobbitt's porn career?
ReplyDeleteOh, they can go Galt all right. In fact, I kind of wish they would. We just wouldn't notice if they did.
ReplyDeleteIt got cut short. Ba-dup! Chisssssssssssssssss!
ReplyDeleteThanks. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. And tip your waitress!
That is seriously why conservatoids scoff at attempts to mitigate poverty--they are incapable of understanding human relations outside of a vertical hierarchy that is exponential in its separation of classes. Ergo, in their world not only is it pointless to raise what is considered Trash People, but at some point you cannot raise the level of God People any higher, so MATHS stoopid libtards!!!
ReplyDeleteBesides, if he really subscribes to conservative economic theory, the confiscatory taxes imposed on those tips by evil liberals means he doesn't even want the tips. After all, if you're only allowed to keep $7 of every $10 you make, why would you even want to make $10?
ReplyDeleteJust one more libertarian paradise none of them want to visit, much less live in.
ReplyDeleteMiller is the unfunny, fee sure, but I do remember one great line for me, anyway. It was probably written by someone else, but Miller delivered it in a "spontaneous" exchange with some reporter:
ReplyDeleteGuy with microphone: "They say Oasis is the next Beatles. What do you think?"
Miller: "Yeah, I'm thinking the next Badfinger."
Other than that mildly amusing bon mot, I can't think of any thing else to remember Miller by.
I was working under the assumption that I could live with some stupid triumphalist bullshit if shit also got done, but on reflection, since he's complaining about how the minimum wage already got raised, he's got nothing to do with point 2, and since he's a right-wing jackhole trying desperately to make a false point with scare stories of economic disaster that never happen, he'd probably try to achieve point 1 by killing all the poor people and then say that no one needs economic mobility any more.
ReplyDeleteSo you're right; fuck it, he gets to shut up.
Still, since politics is the business of compromise, maybe we should allow him to choose the method of curing used on his bag of dicks? I know "bag of salted dicks" has the preferred Tbogg/Kristol cadence, but maybe there is yet room in this world for a "bag of pickled dicks" or even a "bag of air-cured dicks".
How's this: Minimum hourly wage should be 1/50th (2%) of the median monthly rent of one bedroom apartments within a particular county or city with a population of 100,000 or more. Other places can fall under a Federal minimum tied to core CPI.
ReplyDelete"Tip" may not be the best word to use in this particular context.
ReplyDeleteBag of dick jerky.
ReplyDeleteConsidering what happened to Badfinger (two members dead by suicide after their finance guy managed to fuck up their record deals), that's kind of a dark crack on the part of Miller.
ReplyDeleteI had been wondering for a while whether Helmut was a platypus or an echidna. Now I have seen the gravatar and I can finally sleep.
ReplyDeleteA couple of things cross my mind about that anecdote.
ReplyDeleteOne: Why would anyone ask Dennis Miller about Oasis?
Two: He was wrong. Oasis was massive for about a decade, sold just a million fewer records in the UK than did the Stones, and, even if I don't like them, they were closer to the Beatles in terms of popularity than Badfinger ever was.
…which is central to my point.
ReplyDelete…which is central to my…
ReplyDeleteI was reading the comments under a local news article about this (yeah I know, bad idea), and one of them simply said "Well, time to boycott Seattle!". No attempt at an explanation, no argument. Just a lot of high-fives from other wingnuts.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, a pretty concise summary of where wingnut "thought" is at.
Can never get enough brain samples to make it statistically significant.
ReplyDeleteThat's if the android Asian carp don't take completely over first.
ReplyDeleteIf you're validating "pickled," why not "a crock of pickled dicks"?
ReplyDelete"I can't use allrecipes.com or Zillow anymore -- they're based in Seattle and we need to stop the spread of fascism." -- Idiots
ReplyDelete"Paid sick days" now often mean PTO, or Personal Time Off, which is all vacation, sick days, and sometimes other absences rolled into one. Where I work, after the last takeover/merger, they lumped sick days and vacation into one category of PTO and reduced the number of days. So, if you don't want to lose vacation days, don't take a sick day. Just come to work and spread your flu around. Efficiency, big business style!
ReplyDeleteBonus points for Gatorbutt, LA. Much nicer neighborhood than RatsAss, MO.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? What gets into some species, anyway? This is why we can't have nice things.
ReplyDeleteGood, keep him out of Seattle. And LA.
ReplyDeleteThe Inland Empire is hunkering down. Coeur d'Alene, Lewiston, and Walla Walla are on high alert.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'd notice. It would be noticeably quieter sans the constant sour, pointless bitching.
ReplyDeleteSshhhhh! The secret of Seattle we never want to tell anyone is that the weather's great there!
ReplyDeleteWho eats at McDonald's in Seattle, when you can eat at Dicks?
ReplyDeleteThe article comments in Seattle's newspapers are usually filled with similar remarks whenever a local issue is discussed - especially gay issues. Unfortunately, I haven't noticed any drop in traffic into the city and I'll bet that if they were to come into town, 7-11 would still be fully stocked with enough Cheez Combos and Bud Light Lime to guarantee a good time.
ReplyDeleteI want to be this comment's press agent so it can become known--to the people who *matter.*
ReplyDeleteHis "anyone" isn't even stage patter. It's a learned "clever"-ism he picked up from reading other hacks. Ten years ago it would have been "Did somebody say 'Los Angeles'?" or, worse, "Can you say 'Los Angeles'?" He's got a million of 'em.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you think he'd recognize that? It's Dunning-Kruger all the way down.
ReplyDeleteHow about the 50 year old machinist who gets laid off and has to collect unemployment? The only thing these fuckers can say is, go flip burgers or something, moocher. They blame people for being reluctant to take a menial job for a fraction of their former wages. Now they blame people who have no choice but to do just that. Jesus, I hate conservatives.
ReplyDeleteThey never got that "nobody goes there, it's too crowded" is a joke.
ReplyDeleteWas Yogi Berra joking? I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteReally? Seven years? By then it will be time for another increase.
ReplyDeleteI notice that a lot of decent sized cities are left off that list, it's just the largest 23. I'll bet that you could divide up that big blue field with the next 23 largest cities (including Cleveland,Pittsburg, Tucson, Sacramento, Las Vegas, Orlando, Tampa, Spokane, Des Moines, Indianapolis, Santa Fe, New Orleans, Buffalo, etc.) and you'd find a similarly lopsided distribution. That is, I'm sure that the half of GDP generated outside those red zones is mostly in cities as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's the perfect climate for MOSS! I want to live there, in a house covered with moss, and I would cover the entire yard with moss. Who doesn't love moss?
ReplyDeleteOh, I think there's already plenty of dick jerky in Rightwing Land.
ReplyDeleteAren't they the group behind Luminosity?
ReplyDeleteColor it with a continuous spectrum between red and blue, and you'll have the same map we all saw of the 2012 presidential election.
ReplyDeleteSo...platipodes have only one spike (3 if male)?
ReplyDeleteMay I take this comment to lunch at a local taqueria?
ReplyDeleteOr some dickhead who lives in a gated community 100 miles away.
ReplyDeleteWa-wait. Did two people just post the last two comments almost simultaneously?
ReplyDeletePlus Badfinger was fucking great.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if they're ready to boycott Microsoft. That's Redmond, I know, but still.
ReplyDeleteLinkage problem; however, Dick's Hand Dipped Shakes sound wonderful. They're "
ReplyDeleteIndividually whipped for that old-fashioned creamy texture.
"
I'd like to go foraging for wild asparagus with this comment.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least TWO of those jobs, in many cases.
ReplyDeletePerhaps they heard it and mistook it for serious policy advice.
ReplyDeleteYou assume that Mssrs. Koch would not pay their broadband bills for them. Which is, IMO, a mistake.
ReplyDeleteExactly. It's the same old bullshit about foregoing an opportunity to make a million bucks just because you have to pay 30% of it in taxes. No sane person would ever do it.
ReplyDeleteI've actually wondered about that-if in 30 years or whatever the Midwest will be the dominant part of the country because of all our fresh water. Maybe I'm just biased because I wouldn't live in Arizona if you paid me: it's like living in a giant oven.
ReplyDeleteWell, what else is new.
ReplyDeleteOn Bill Gates: "This guy's just a Persian cat and a monocle away from being a Bond villain." --during the browser antitrust wars.
ReplyDeleteWhat was that, like from the 70's? Yeah, Seattle's really withered away since then.
ReplyDeleteEvery big city newspaper comment section is filled with people who hate the city in question, and arguably the whole state. It's a law as immutable as gravity.
ReplyDeleteI think I might have to live in the north my whole life because I don't know if I could take living in a place where they literally shut down every highway and every public school for 1 inch of snow.
ReplyDeleteViva SeaTac!
ReplyDeleteOh, Elisabeth.
ReplyDeleteMay they all take turns sucking Satan's barbed and scaly cock in Hell.
ReplyDeleteThats so sweet of you, Tguerrant. I'm really touched.
ReplyDeleteYou clearly aren't old enough yet to appreciate the many joys of an unexpected day off. Snow days are one of the very best things about living in the south.
ReplyDeleteWhat's consistent in it s the cruelty, callousness and spite. Which they believe are the virtues of winners.
ReplyDeletePsst, Aimai! Beware! That book TGuerrant's family has, To Serve Aimai? It's a guide to how best to wait on you at the dining table.
ReplyDeleteMaybe a bag of "whipped dicks" can stand in for the salted dicks upthread.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I'm now thinking of Peter Piper in a whole different light.
ReplyDeleteYou mean I was really touched by her tentacles? That explains a lot.
ReplyDeleteThese are the same people, remember, that treat stories of people moving away from SF and NYC because they just can't afford the rent as proof that people are fleeing liberal fascism and economic ruin. In reality, of course, rents are so high in those cities because so many people - including many rich people - want to live there and they bid up the prices of the limited supply of housing. It's like citing people deciding to eat somewhere else because there's a two-hour wait for a table as proof that a restaurant is dying.
ReplyDeleteInteresting too that they found a cleaning lady who allegedly had
ReplyDeletea "401k, health insurance, paid holiday, and vacation" only to see it
see it ruined by the high-minimum-wage commissars.
"Ruined," past tense? If she's employed by a cleaning company with fewer than 500 employees, why are they jumping the gun on a minimum wage hike that will take five years to phase in? If she's employed by a cleaning company with more than 500 employees, and they offer that sort of benefit package, why the fuck are they paying so close to minimum wage in the first place? I'm sorry, I'm going to have to be a little more skeptical of Reason than usual; I don't think they sourced this with their usual care.
Your Herb Tarlek, as it were?
ReplyDeleteOh the comments at that Reason piece. One guy says how a "socialist" city councilman would be in prison if the country were run properly, and down a little ways it's the lefties who are all gung-ho on imprisoning their political adversaries.
ReplyDelete"To know and not know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies," and so on and so forth. Doublethink never goes out of style.
ReplyDeleteYeah, if year-round-summer is your thing, the list of cities with supposedly ruinous liberal economic policies gets pretty damn short after LA. Seattle has basically the same weather advantages of New York and Boston.
ReplyDeleteIgnorance, without the bliss.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they sourced this with their usual care.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't know.
Looked up Kruiser on imdb. He seems to have racked up a bunch of guest appearances on Redeye and not mu
ReplyDeleteThe conservatarian approach on raising the minimum wage is that it will reduce jobs. So lowering the minimum wage should increase jobs, right? And wouldn't reducing the minimum wage to zero create the maximum number of jobs? Oh, no, wait, we tried that once, and had a big dust-up about it around 1860 or so, if memory serves.
ReplyDeleteNo discussion...
ReplyDeleteThat's right. If you leave out two decades or so's worth of radio call-in shows, countless editorials and op-eds, think tank papers, economists' studies, post-graduate dissertations, internet comment sections, there's never any discussion of minimum wage laws.
The problem with the economy is that the entry level jobs have short lifespans- rather than promoting the kid who's flipping burgers, they'll lay him off after six months, take a government subsidy for "training" the next kid, and so it goes.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, he was a little testy when he wrote that. What with the single, slow clap still ringing in his head.
ReplyDeleteI am truly concerned I won't be able to purchase a Dick's burger as they all flee to Bellevue. I'll only have Red Mill to fall back on. Or Lil Woody's.
ReplyDeleteI've already put my home on the market so I can move to the capitalist nirvana that is Redmond.
ReplyDeleteOur 4.8% unemployment is going to skyrocket when this fully takes effect in 2020.
ReplyDeleteYa gotta love the moronitude that assumes a $15/hour wage means $15 burgers. Apparently they think a fry cook makes exactly one burger per hour.
ReplyDelete"Because they want to drive as many people as they can into financial hell."
ReplyDeleteMethinks this weirdo doth project too much.
.
Yes, there are some employers who are probably saying to themselves: "One day we'll get robots who can replace those minimum wage workers entirely! That'll show 'em."
ReplyDeleteThat truly is a revenge fantasy. But revenge for what? Holding their heads upright and asking for a little dignity?
Like the joke about how the Rapture already happened. All the true, pure-hearted, all-loving followers of Christ were taken directly to heaven. But it was only about a dozen people worldwide so nobody noticed.
ReplyDeleteThis guy apparently sees himself as the next Dennis Miller. Hm-m, Dennis Miller, has-been, hates hippies. On the other hand, George Carlin, legend, was a hippie. No brainer? Only if you have no brains.
ReplyDeleteDavid Goldstein, aka Goldy, aka Seattle best blogger, was interviewed by Ben Shapiro about the vote at Seattle's City Hall and the $15 minimum wage in general. http://horsesass.org/radio-goldy-ben-shapiro-and-i-talk-minimum-wage/#comments
ReplyDeleteBut the poor aren't poor! They get all those goodies from the government--housing assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, Obama phones, free cheese. And poor Black people have it even better with their secret additional benefits (which include free Cadillacs, T-bone steaks, flat-screen TVs, and as much cheap-ass malt liquor as one can consume).
ReplyDeleteThat's why we have to eliminate the minimum wage: If we don't, then everyone will want to be poor and Black.
Some of us remember when President McCain was campaigning and spoke to a room full of unemployed white men in his home state. The subject of migrant labor came up, and McCain made a remark about how nobody would want to pick lettuce for $50 an hour. The men in the room replied almost in unison that they most certainly would pick lettuce for that kind of pay. All McCain could say was "No, you wouldn't," and then change the subject.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you about echidna spikes.
ReplyDeleteDear, sweet Laffer Curve, is there no problem you can't solve?
ReplyDeleteThey think the rich can skip the part where the poor person gets the dollar through the only forms of government assistance they find acceptable - Corporate bankruptcy, bailouts and taxing the 100 remaining members of the middle class.
ReplyDeleteClearly the Biblical formula for a Christian employer would be "a quart of wheat for a day's wages" (Revelation 6:6). Making him pay any more would be a violation of religious freedom.
ReplyDeleteSo congrats on not being an asshole boss, but it certainly doesn't change the fact that tons of small business owners are power-hungry assholes who treat their employees like shit because they can rather than just for financial reasons.
ReplyDeleteThe capitalist-worker relationship doesn't become less exploitative just because there's less money involved or no golden arches above your door.
Indeed, since the law just kicked in now, that cleaning service was certainly mighty in tune with current events, wasn't it? Why, it's almost as if it were...made up for the story,
ReplyDeleteYou see? That just shows how badly they're trying to ram it down our throats!
ReplyDeleteIts always a revenge fantasy. Whether they are stamping their feet and threatening to go Galt, or whether they are insinuating that you will be sorry you dissed them with your feminism or your high wages or your voting while black because of a violent backlash against you its always about revenge. Sometimes its the hand of god punishing you, sometimes its god's substitute on earth the free market, sometimes its "the terrorists," or "the criminals" or AIDS or "atheists withouten (sic) any morals"but the impudence of liberals, women, minorities, or children demanding rights will always be punished and the righteous will get their chance to rejoice.
ReplyDeleteAll McCain could say was "No, you wouldn't,"
ReplyDeleteTechnically, all he could say was "You can't do it, my friends," which I find funnier for some reason.
Or, as one of the Rules of Acquisition of the fictional Ferenghi puts it:
ReplyDelete"Treat people in your debt like family.....exploit them."
Yesssss...funnier....but not in the way the word is usually used.
ReplyDeleteAnd presumably ditto for the mentally handicapped. There are (possibly) some costs associated with employing non neurotypical or otherwise disabled persons but very often those costs are subsidized or handled by the state from the get go. And a disabled adult doesn't need or deserve lower pay than a regular adult. Disabled adults need rent money, food money, retirement money--they may have families to support.
ReplyDeleteSomewhat lessened by people stripping supermarkets of milk and bread in anticipation of the microblizzard.
ReplyDeleteI can't help it. All your posts, next to this Avatar, just cause me to crack up. Especially the all caps ones.
ReplyDelete