THE CEO ALSO TOLD ME MY BEARD DIDN'T LOOK LIKE STRIATED DRYER LINT.

Rick: [bitterly] Yes, it's very pretty. I heard a story once - as a matter of fact, I've heard a lot of stories in my time. They went along with the sound of a tinny piano playing in the parlor downstairs. "Mister, I met a man once when I was a kid," it always began.

Well, at least this time it's not a cab driver.

Let's flip all the cards, shall we: Saying "many CEOs *want* to keep jobs in U.S., but the consultant/investor/shareholder CW pushes hard against" is like saying "many pushers *want* to stop selling drugs, but the broker/bank account/other people they owe money to CW pushes hard against." Douthat and his perhaps-fanciful interlocutor both accept that the capitalist yearns to be free to practice a more enlightened form of capitalism, yet somehow something's always getting in the way -- but surely it must just be some misunderstanding! Maybe the recently-elected grifter-in-chief can sort it out.

Strangely enough, neither Unnamed CEOs nor Douthat or anyone like him ever tells stories about how many CEOs *want* to raise workers' wages in U.S., but the consultant/investor/shareholder CW pushes hard against. But then, higher wages isn't part of Trump's racket -- in fact, he has argued for the opposite. I can imagine, though, a situation where more jobs stay stateside but wages stay flat or even go down, which I think is the play here. That way everybody wins, except the millions who don't count.