Friday, March 20, 2015

FRIDAY 'ROUND-THE-HORN.


"I got drugs to take/and a mind to break"
Thanks to Chuck Gilligan for steering me -- these guys do Britain & Mike Skinner proud.

•   After that last post I hate to subject you good people to a Megan McArdle streak, but this is irresistible:


Fans of Tbogg already grok the internet tradition of conflating McArdle's conspicuous-consumerism with her crap political views, but I  think anyone can appreciate that she's seriously miffed Canada has $1.4K Thermomixes but America does not (guess the one she was kvelling about in 2011 got a dent in it or something), and gets her editor to indulge her in speculating at 1,400-word length on the Economix, e.g. "QVC's 'gadget' price point seems to top out at 'Dyson vacuum cleaner,'" tee hee. If they haven't sent her a new "test" model by now this isn't the rotting corpse of a Republic I grew up in.

•   It's clearer than ever that Obama consciously trolls rightwing idiots as a hobby. I'm not sure what to think about the universal voting proposal, but it has elicited some choice gibberish from Peggy Noonan:
Most of us are moved by the sight of citizens lined up at the polls on Election Day. We should urge everyone to care enough to stand in that line. But we should not harass or bother those who, with modesty and even generosity, say they are happy to leave the privilege of the ballot to those who are engaged.
How dare we refuse their generosity by demanding they participate in our stupid "democracy"! Next we'll be demanding they pay taxes! (I wonder what the Crazy Jesus Lady thinks about Ben Carson's request at CPAC last year that conservatives drag their grandparents to the polls even if they say, “I’ve given up on America, I’m just waiting to die.”) Oh, and here's Noonan explaining her apparently brand new idea that Presidents named Bush are bad (except the next one -- he'll be swell!):
George W. Bush broke his party after his 2004 re-election, in part with his immigration proposals and the way he advanced them, with aides insulting his GOP opponents with insults—“nativist,” they said—and, in the end, by two unwon wars.
That's up there with "He dressed badly and was not a good mixer,  in addition to being a serial killer."

•   Remember the Oppressed Children of Sperm Donors whose lamentations I covered a few years back? Well, they're back at The Federalist, where two anti-donor activists rally support for those Dolce & Gabbana guys who called test-tube kids "synthetic children." The authors note that some people were upset about this because they had donor-enabled offspring, nephews etc., and here's the authors' stern rejoinder:
It is important to note, however, that infants, toddlers, and all of these “miracle” beings are too young to protest their own objectification.
I hear ya, sister -- I didn't ask to be born into this fucking world, but my mother got knocked up in a time before abortion rights. Rough luck all around! Oh, and also:
I am indeed a human being. My liver, heart, hair, and enzymes all work the same. I’ve discovered it is my psychology that is different and not-quite-right, due to my conception.
No comment.

•   Since it's nearly the weekend, here is your latest installment of What Is Rod Dreher Whining About Now?
UPDATE: I’m all for praying with the body. We do that all the time in the Orthodox Church. But yoga is a Hindu discipline, not a Christian one, and the syncretism of mixing yoga with Christian worship is troubling.
This has been What Is Rod Dreher Whining About Now?

387 comments:

  1. coozledad10:56 AM

    How else would I whip up genoise on a weeknight or make bacon-onion jam to top our burgers with?

    I don't know Megan. But I know that Kitchen Aid makes a hand mixer you could use for home trepanning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cato the Censor11:09 AM

    I know I shouldn't, but I can't resist, so I'm going to be snide: Does Megan McArdle ever comb her hair?

    ReplyDelete
  3. trdonoghue11:10 AM

    Chuck is indeed the man

    ReplyDelete
  4. redoubtagain11:11 AM

    "Genoise" is the sound the Thermonuclearmix makes when you put pink Himalayan salt in with the despair, jealousy and entitlement slurry.

    ReplyDelete
  5. coozledad11:12 AM

    They can't get in the bathroom most weekdays, especially after the burgers with bacon and onion jam.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Downpup E11:13 AM

    Distillation is a technique, too:

    to get mine, I had to order it from Canada.



    the entire McOeuvre, distilled to "I got mine."

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ted the slacker11:15 AM

    See, you peasants? This is how you pull your fucking socks up. By spending insane money on an appliance that will solve first-world problems you've never even dreamed of.

    This is your daily lesson in how to make Good Moral Choices.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, Megan, you overprivileged woman-child, you.

    $1400 for something she doesn't need, to replace something else that she didn't need and has barely used. You know that woman I've been helping out? $1400 is about all the money she has in the world. She prepares healthy meals for herself and her child without the aid of thousands of dollars in gadgetry. She lives in an isolated place, doesn't drive and is over a mile from the nearest bus stop, so she rarely has a chance to get fresh food - unless she orders for it, which isn't cheap.

    Meanwhile, I'm stuck here trying to find a way to get down to where she is and help out. $1400 would cover transit both ways, a month's rent on my current apartment, and a week or two in a long-term hotel while I look for a job there, with enough left over for a few loads of groceries for this woman. As it is, I can't possibly justify leaving if I can't set up a job in advance, which is not easy from a thousand miles away.

    But Megan? All she can think about is that her kitchen is no longer THE CUTTING-EDGE, and she feels that ordering a $1400 blender is worthy of an article in the publication for which she is grotesquely overpaid to write. You know what? I don't have enough obscenities in me at the moment to express my feelings. Give me a few hours, I'll come up with some.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Helmut Monotreme11:17 AM

    That's the ticket Peggy, no more of this pesky participation in democracy. That's totally the way to fight oligarchy and the takeover of American polotics by monied interests. The plebes shouldn't even get to play once every few years in the courts of their betters. They might get ideas above their station. They might start asking just what their elected leaders are doing with the responsibility we entrust them. We can't have that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ted the slacker11:20 AM

    She's probably hoping to find a $5,000 appliance to do it for her.

    ReplyDelete
  11. coozledad11:26 AM

    we should not harass or bother those who, with modesty and even generosity, say they are happy to leave the privilege of the ballot to those who are engaged

    Rather, we should harass those who appear they might vote Democratic- with voter ID laws if possible, with aggressive shoulder-hitting if we must.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ted the slacker11:28 AM

    There's a market for this crap - McMegan's writing that is - people who like to publicly kvetch over superficial decisions about where to drop the next few thousand dollars.
    I'd obviously like to have the means to be in theory anyway a part of her target audience, but holy jebus the attitude of her and her fellow travelers is completely fucking insufferable and god help me if I ever turn out that way.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ted the slacker11:39 AM

    Don't be silly.
    McMegan only schedules marital sexytime for weekends. Rich people make good moral choices and don't spent weeknights experimenting new ways to bang their spouses, as if they'd do anything like that anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  14. gocart mozart11:41 AM

    Conservatives were all with W up to the point he came out in favor of treating Mexicans as if they were human beings. Unprovoked war based on lies-fine; Abu Grahib - fine; Gitmo and torture-fine; Katrina - fine; Economic crash - that was the blahs and that Barney Frank's fault; immigration reform - well that's a bridge too far.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tony the Tiger11:42 AM

    I didn't really meet, but was in a room with her once, and I would guess she has stumbled upon some "alternative" hair care system (dry shampoo, never washing, ??) that she thinks works for her but doesn't.

    ReplyDelete
  16. petesh11:45 AM

    What, you lose the vote when you get married?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ted the slacker11:48 AM

    "We should urge everyone to care enough to stand in that line."
    How about we ensure that there are enough polling venues that no-one has to stand in line for longer than, I dunno, half an hour? Or would that enfranchise the poors too much?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Same here. I've never really been able to afford the testimonials to planned obsolescence that McArdle obsesses over, but I've never really wanted those things, either. I'm just not trendy, I guess. If I woke up tomorrow with $100k in my bank account, I wouldn't go on a spending spree.

    ReplyDelete
  19. JennOfArk12:04 PM

    I'm reminded of the machine I once saw in a Frontgate catalog....it was a device that would beep when you had pulled far enough into the garage to close the door that would warn you to stop so you didn't run the car into the back wall of the garage, and it was priced at $200.


    Ever since, I've taken to referring to it as "the $200 tennis ball," because anyone who isn't a total moron who just likes throwing money away would instead use the time-honored trick of hanging a tennis ball on a string from the ceiling at the spot where the windshield should be when the car is parked in the proper spot.


    Megan just got a $1400 tennis ball. She thinks this equates with sophistication, when in fact, it equates with the stupidity we've come to expect from Megan.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mr. Wonderful12:16 PM

    "If they haven't sent her a new 'test' model by now this isn't the rotting corpse of a Republic I grew up in."

    Not to fawn, but is there a need to read any further on today's so-called Internet? Ans.: No.

    ReplyDelete
  21. randomworker12:21 PM

    Her liver? Well, my liver hasn't been quite right since I flunked out of college that third time.

    ReplyDelete
  22. JennOfArk12:23 PM

    No, you absolutely should. I'm of the every-other-day school of hair washing; it's just too big of a pain in the ass to blow dry on a daily basis, so if I don't have to, I don't.


    But goddamn, if I was going to have my picture taken to put up on the internet for everyone to see? I think I'd bother to take the time to wash the grease out of my hair first.

    ReplyDelete
  23. RogerAiles12:25 PM

    Poor Nooners. She awoke from her alcohol-fueled dream that W. had killed bin Laden to find that a black man had done the deed.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mr. Charles D12:25 PM

    Bring Genoise

    ReplyDelete
  25. glennisw12:29 PM

    The comments at McMegans are hilarious, particularly the thread started by PattyMo:

    What America really needs in the kitchen is the new and crazy machine I like to call the Self-Energizing-Radically-Variable-Entertainment and Nutritional Tool. This new, amazing device literally does EVERYTHING in the kitchen so you don't have to. It slices. It dices. It makes Julienne fries. And all for just the low-low price of $25,000 (plus monthly maintenance).



    emphasis mine.

    ReplyDelete
  26. tigrismus12:30 PM

    It is important to note, however, that infants, toddlers, and all of
    these “miracle” beings are too young to protest their own
    objectification.


    "But we won't let that stop us!"

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mr. Wonderful12:32 PM

    But seriously: I'm interested in my own almost infinite contempt for Megan and her device.

    I've been cooking for over 40 years and I've never wished I could automate the chopping, slicing, sauteeing, etc. that Megan seems thrilled to be able to avoid. It's not because I'm a noble purist, but because the physical activity of cooking, and the simple manual transformation of icky (e.g., raw chicken) or inedible (fresh thyme) ingredients into something swell is so satisfying.

    What, then, is the point of a machine that does it all? You "save time"? For what? She has no kids, and I don't think she plays a musical instrument. I doubt she does good works "in the community." Those are priorities I could respect. The rest is hobbies and quotidian bullshit.

    It's not the cost that offends me. If a friend said he dropped $1,400 on a set of DW drums or a new bass, I wouldn't question it. And I believe in getting good, rather than okay, appliances. If someone asks me what food processor to get, I don't say "don't get any." I say, Get as good a Cuisinart as you can afford, because they're built like tanks.

    It's the inappropriate match, born of vanity or laziness, between the task and the tool. If someone told me she bought a Lamborghini for driving to the supermarket, I'd think she was an idiot. And if someone told me she hired a personal trainer to do her pushups FOR her, ditto. Thus, Megan.

    ReplyDelete
  28. redoubtagain12:36 PM

    Shorter Peggy: "One dollar (hic), one vote. Tee hee!"

    ReplyDelete
  29. This. If I knew someone had a real passion for something - be it cooking or music or craft or whatever - and that person dropped a big chunk of money on something that they needed to pursue that passion, I wouldn't give them shit over it. McArdle, on the other hand, seems to be less about passion for cooking and more about passion for trends.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Downpup E12:40 PM

    Genoise is spongecake. She needs a robochef to make spongecake.

    ReplyDelete
  31. redoubtagain12:43 PM

    (If there is any justice in this world, this is the part where the Ghost Of Julia Child chases her around the kitchen with a meat cleaver.)
    This is the Randroid "technology-will-solve-all-our-problems" part of her. Which is, you know, also a feature of planned, Stalinist economies, but they've been bred not to see the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ted the slacker12:45 PM

    Did your chocolate cake have a white truffle, rare vodka (triple-distilled through reindeer balls), Chantilly cream and French vanilla with essence of Sauternes filling? No? Why not, Jenn? Why are you choosing to fail in life?
    If you had the Thermomix DLuxe 5000, that simple filling makes itself in 5 minutes and no American home-cook should be deprived of this opportunity. Who the fuck is your partner and how do they let you in your kitchen?

    ReplyDelete
  33. redoubtagain12:47 PM

    Super MeMeMegan Goes To The Supermarket (with apologies to Norman Mailer)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Modulo_Myself12:51 PM

    I'm willing to be that somewhere in Megan's kitchen is a set of super-expensive knives, purchased because she loved the physical part of cooking so much.

    I really hope that her husband gets into high-end stereo equipment. He can buy these and she can write about it.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Not sure about knives, but she does have a set of pots that cost a few hundred bucks.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Ted the slacker12:52 PM

    Give her some credit, she figured if she called it a spongecake her readers would not have been impressed.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Those two anti-donor types seem to be upset because, when they grew up, people made unfounded and truly awful assumptions about them because of the circumstances of their birth. So as adults, they've decided to reinforce those ignorant assumptions so that things won't be any easier for other children. Stellar, huh?

    Thing is, I can understand where they're coming from. I was born around the time that asshole activists came up with a truly noxious lie they called "adopted child syndrome," and that shit followed me for years. When I was four years old, a psychologist told my parents that I was basically a sociopath and I would never bond with anyone. That was just the start of it. At various times in my childhood, I was singled out for scrutiny and even punishment by adults who assumed (absent any evidence) that I was some sort of troublemaker. The climax was in 6th grade, when I had a paraprofessional physically jerk me around for offenses as trivial as excessive head-scratching. None of them ever said anything, but I've always wondered if these people found out I was adopted and assumed - based on that lie - that I was some sort of monster under the skin, and they had to keep me in line.

    Now, having put up with that, it would be pretty shitty if I went around trying to convince people that adopted children were dangerous, wouldn't it? I'd have to be a real fucking douchebag to pull that nonsense. (Hey! I guess I found those obscenities)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Brother Yam1:00 PM

    Yay! More Rod!

    Apropos of my last post about Rod, here's his yoga pose for today:

    http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd145/fldx681/0363.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  39. John Wesley Hardin1:06 PM

    "aides insulting his GOP opponents with insults" Ah, yes, deathless prose like this is why Nooners gets the big bucks.

    ReplyDelete
  40. John Wesley Hardin1:08 PM

    Righteous Proctologist Prana; it's the most popular Yoga pose amongst conservative pundits.

    ReplyDelete
  41. tigrismus1:08 PM

    I've never wished I could automate the chopping, slicing, sauteeing, etc. that Megan seems thrilled to be able to avoid.

    This is what strikes me. I can see the point of spending money to avoid what you don't like doing, and I can see the point to support what you love doing, but spending it to avoid what you claim to love doing?

    ReplyDelete
  42. JennOfArk1:09 PM

    The S.E.R.V.E.N.T.

    ReplyDelete
  43. JennOfArk1:10 PM

    The comments over there are awesome. Those cables are worth every penny - they allow time travel, they're useful for garroting werewolves, and many, many other things.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Here is a really good review of cusinart:

    http://www.amazon.com/review/RHF66BCDU7KPN/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B007TFNSLC#wasThisHelpful

    ReplyDelete
  45. JennOfArk1:15 PM

    You want to know what a barbarian I am? When making the frosting for mom's cake, I used a fork to blend the butter with the cocoa.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Jay B.1:16 PM

    I’ve discovered it is my psychology that is different and not-quite-right, due to my conception.


    I can't quite decide if this is classic Coen Brothers, say, "Raising Arizona"-era, or a nice riff from late run Bobby Hill. To think that an actual person wrote it and feels it, no. I can't go that far.

    ReplyDelete
  47. That is such a sloppy sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Homer Simpson1:18 PM

    If you place the Thermomix under the Laz-Y-Boy, and adjust the setting to "puree", you can turn the Laz-Y-Boy into a Spinemelter 2000.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Chairman Pao1:21 PM

    I couldn't get past the second paragraph of McMegan's Meh Casserole. And I only made it that far because the first paragraph is a single sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  50. One more post before I take off for the day, because Dreher came up: I flipped through Crunchy Cons recently, and I think I see why it didn't sell well. While it's not as viscerally awful as Douthat's Privilege, it makes up for that by being astonishingly smug. At the beginning, Dreher looks over his life and begins to realize that the Brooksian "red state people be like this" routine might not be so true, and that maybe people are just people. Of course, being Dreher, he promptly grabs this kernel of a good idea, screams "Mine!" and runs back into Theoconland in the hopes that people will follow.

    That's what this book is - an attempt to rebrand and market religious conservatism to liberals, libertarians, and moderate conservatives. He cedes a few token points on topics like "commonsense environmentalism" in hopes that the liberals who aren't reading it will do the same. Unfortunately for Dreher, he's just too fucking smug to make it work. There are too many passages in which Dreher tries to justify his "leftie" lifestyle choices by explaining Why I Am Better Than Liberals. He is an equal opportunity scold, though - there's plenty of Why I Am Better Than Most Conservatives. It goes without saying that these sections are based on those old theocon strawliberals who are pushing for at-will fucking and sucking 24/7.

    Eventually, I skipped to the end, where Dreher lays out his perfect society - an agricultural paradise in which everyone follows "traditional values" and scientists knock off all their foolishness. He presents it as a bold new statement, but it's not that much different than the agrarian utopianism that liberals and conservatives flirted with throughout the 20th century. And of course, even Dreher's simple life involved more luxury than most people can access (unless wine and cheese parties at upscale wineries are more common than I think).

    But the best part? In the decade since that book came out, Dreher pulled up stakes, moved to the countryside, and has come about as close as he's going to get to his simple, happy life...and not only is he still whining, but he's still whining about the same shit he was before, and if anything he's more despondent now.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Highly ironic: when my teenage daughter became depressed and agitated (after moving to new town, school etc) ... there was no end to the weird therapy and drugs they prescribed her (drugs I threw away) and ghastly diagnosis' they made which I rolled my eyes at.


    She also has a genuine problem with her kidney and is in constant pain. Will all the modern medical tests & machines, no one can quite identify her problem (me: kidney badly inflamed, doesn't drain. Can't take anti-inflammatories they make it bleed)
    And NO PAIN meds! Hell no! She might get addicted, or worse, sell her pain meds for money to buy ???

    ReplyDelete
  52. agorabum1:26 PM

    So marketh the decline of a once great Western civilization...

    ReplyDelete
  53. PersonaAuGratin1:27 PM

    I use a rock to open the can of frosting.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I've a friend who told me she was terribly impressed by a potato peeler she saw at someone's house. She'd always used a paring knife!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Shorter anti-donors: "Look, the idea of men masturbating into test tubes, and then women using the thawed-out jism is just icky. So, no babies for you infertile couples because thinking about it makes me uncomfortable."

    ReplyDelete
  56. It's not a pose if it's permanent.

    ReplyDelete
  57. PersonaAuGratin1:38 PM

    https://snapguide.com/guides/use-corn-starch-as-dry-shampoo/

    (This has been around for a while; some girl in my freshman dorm did this back in the '70s, much to the consternation of her roommate.)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Or maybe just a passion for acquiring things. I've seen this before, and it usually ends with the latest, greatest device being used once and then relegated to the garage sale 10 years from now.

    As to Mr. Wonderful's point: As a chef friend of mine once said of the microwave, "Why would I want something that allows me to do LESS of something I enjoy?"

    ReplyDelete
  59. tigrismus1:39 PM

    You ordered the chromed Thermorock from Canada, didn't you?

    ReplyDelete
  60. PersonaAuGratin1:43 PM

    100% Authentic Canadian Glacial Moraine.

    Nothing but the best!

    ReplyDelete
  61. PersonaAuGratin1:48 PM

    I seem to recall that Kitty Genovese's neighbors also exhibited modesty and even generosity in their engagement with their community.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Volunteers for America! Short on skills or time to help the community? You can still do your part! Like for instance by not voting. It's so easy!

    ReplyDelete
  63. Didn't you already make a comment about marital sexytimes?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Helmut Monotreme1:58 PM

    But yoga is a Hindu discipline, not a Christian one, and the syncretism of mixing yoga with Christian worship is troublin
    Yes, I imagine it would be troubling.
    Deeply troubling.
    Deeeeeeeeeeply troubling.

    God forbid that any Christian would stoop to syncretism like those other syncretists. Like for example those ancient Hebrew shepherds that stole most of the book of Genesis from the Sumerians and didn't even file off the serial numbers. or those more recent Hebrew priests that stole the idea of 'Monotheism' from the Zoroastrians, and tried to purge all the references to other gods from what Christians refer to as the old testament. Or those ancient Christian syncretists that took a local boy agitating against the Roman-collaborating Jewish priests and turned him into a combination Osiris, Mithras, Orpheus, Gilgamesh and every other ancient demigod that came back tanned rested and ready from a dirt nap. Or those bishops that stole their philosophy from Plato, Aristotle and the stoics, and called it philosophy or those missionaires that suddenly discovered a few busloads of Saints bearing a suspicious resemblance to local pagan gods. Yessiree, there's no room for troubling syncretism in that old time religion.

    ReplyDelete
  65. ADHDJ2:02 PM

    McArdle shows her déclassé upbringing again. To a real plutocrat, the "$1400 appliance your kitchen needs" would be a Guatemalan houseboy making 50 cents an hour to stir the bechamel.


    Megan's never going to start getting invited to the right parties if she doesn't start thinking like a true job creator. Upper middle class strivers buy convenience gadgets. Galtian supermen and superwomen buy people.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Bingo! I never understood this before, but she doesn't like cooking. She likes holding forth about her (fictional but stylish) passion for cooking to a diningroomful of hangers-on whose apartments are smaller than hers, and in order to accomplish this doing some actual cooking is an unfortunate necessity.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Gromet2:11 PM

    I don't want to bag on anyone's personal appearance, but Jenn's got a point -- it's more of a startling grooming choice on McMeegan's part. Her photo reminds me of Onion columnist Jean Teasdale's.
    http://36.media.tumblr.com/6d7f39d6c0c03ba9de7b2c87a3b67c68/tumblr_nakc2gMltq1qckp4qo1_500.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  68. I'm not sure what to think about the universal voting proposal(1) That full eligible voter participation in this country would be a fucking stupid thing to attack even if Obama had advocated it; and (2) that OBAMA DIDN'T ACTUALLY ADVOCATE IT. They twisted a remark that invoked its existence elsewhere for contrast into an assault on ... fuck if I know. Feudalism? Voter suppression? He came out in favor greater citizen engagement with the electoral process, and so now the usual fascist pigfuckers are shriekingly against it. AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS HELPING THEM CATAPAULT THEIR GODDAMNED BULLSHIT AGAIN. I expect that it's already reached my parents as "Obama wants illegals to be bused to the polls at taxpayer expense."

    ReplyDelete
  69. Gromet2:23 PM

    I want to entomb this comment in a reliquary in my kitchen and encourage people of all faiths to make pilgrimages to it; may they pay top dollar for souvenirs, snacks, and a clear conscience, amen.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I'm surprised at Dreher's resistance to Yoga. He's constantly tying himself in knots metaphysically.

    ReplyDelete
  71. PersonaAuGratin2:27 PM

    But will be permitted to gaze upon the beauty of the Thermomix?

    ReplyDelete
  72. gocart mozart2:34 PM

    http://judiciary.house.gov/index.cfm/2015/3/at-the-flick-of-a-switch

    Is our congress stupid? I can has imigrashon GIF's.

    ReplyDelete
  73. M. Krebs2:34 PM

    There is no greater sucker in the world than the cork-sniffing audiophile.

    ReplyDelete
  74. He does it that way because he's skeert a Hindoo demon will fly/crawl up his ass when he's downward dogging it.

    ReplyDelete
  75. M. Krebs2:35 PM

    You beat me to that one, darn it. It's got to be the first time any of these clowns ever came right out and admitted that they're fucking nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  76. redoubtagain2:37 PM

    Obligatory.

    ReplyDelete
  77. M. Krebs2:40 PM

    Fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  78. redoubtagain2:47 PM

    (Even in their GIFs they demonstrate their contempt for inclusiveness by using only images of white people.)

    ReplyDelete
  79. bekabot2:49 PM

    "Most of us are moved by the sight of citizens lined up at the polls on Election Day. We should urge everyone to care enough to stand in that line."

    And stand, and stand, and stand, and stand, and eventually leave.

    "But we should not harass or bother those who, with modesty and even generosity, say they are happy to leave the privilege of the ballot to those who are engaged."



    Because you know how all the funny business stops once you get married.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I literally can't understand her point. I can whip up a genoise on a weeknight and make bacon-onion jam to top my burgers with. Even in a thermomix these things don't happen simultaneously.

    ReplyDelete
  81. McArdle once said something to the effect that she doesn't care for preparing food. In other words, she loves cooking except for the part where she has too cook something. Explains a lot, don't it?

    ReplyDelete
  82. Gromet3:04 PM

    You know what, let's look at what that white-person-intensive GIF-fest says:



    "President Obama has... told [federal
    immigration enforcement officers] to stop enforcing our
    immigration laws... when our immigration laws aren’t enforced, it encourages more illegal immigration and causes the system to implode."


    Such a tower of moronic lies. It makes me sick and angry. Obama directed his officers how to prioritize enforcement, i.e., deport the criminals and newly arrived instead of the established law-abiding families. He didn't say "Forget the law." And since his order specifically only protects people who've been here for years, how does it encourage new arrivals? I guess it encourages the time-traveling Mexicans, but for the most part, all you enGIFfed white celebrities should be safe from losing your jobs. Ugh.



    These guys would be easy to debate if they'd allow facts in the discussion.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Yes, exactly. With a whisk. And a bowl. That's it. I've made great meals in a "dekshi" which is two large pots put together and placed on an open flame to serve as a makeshift oven. Also, as far as I can see from her description of how to use the thermomix you not only need special instructions and special recipes but you also need split second timing. Why does this sound fun to Megan? I routinely cook excellent, multi course meals, in under an hour, by multitasking--in fact Jamie Oliver has a lovely cookbook that focuses on just how to do a four item meal in under an hour--and split second timing is not the way to do that. You need to be able to start one thing, turn away from it, and do something else. Hovering over your miracle pot for 20 seconds of this and 5 minutes of that would be tedious beyond belief.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I understand from Bill O'Reilly that although he was once impressed with the killing of Osama bin Laden now that he realizes that Obama ordered the killing its no big deal. Obama only "ordered" it. Apparently the Commander part of Commander in Chief has been rendered inoperable and if Obama didn't rappel in off a helicopter and strangle bin Laden with his bare hands then Misson Not Accomplished, Mister!

    ReplyDelete
  85. I said the same thing when our contractor was raving about some oven he got that "cooked a whole chicken in 20 minutes." Give me an old fashioned gas stove and get out of my way. Puttering in the kitchen and making slow food is a kind of walking meditation for me.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Sussaaaaan! Oh Sussssaaaan of Texas! Where are you??? Oh, here you are: http://agonyin8fits.blogspot.com/2013/10/food-trivia.html

    I urge you all to click through to see her discussion of this Meganistic Moment

    Back in 2008, McArdle had a little cooking contest with her friends and made macaroni and cheese. She later published the recipe. For one pound of pasta, it included:
    12 tablespoons butter, softened
    6 tablespoons of flour
    2 cups of whole milk
    1-2 cups of heavy cream (you may replace one cup of the cream with 1 small container of sour cream)
    2 pounds of good sharp cheddar, grated
    1/2 pound of gruyere, grated
    3 Kraft American singles
    2 slices of Kraft provolone

    The blogosphere was left to wonder if McArdle was attempting to block arteries to gin up more revenue for drug companies.

    ReplyDelete
  87. There's fancying up a basic dish with some premium ingredients, and then there's tossing everything you can think of into a pot and hoping it comes out well.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I'm just so sorry about this, katwillow. It didn't seem right to upvote you for it so you are getting your own separate comment of sympathy. I also want to second your observation that young children and teenagers, especially girls, are pathologized when they "cause trouble" to teachers and schools and summer camps or just other adults. A reason can always be found that a child who has a problem, or is even just a tiny bit ouf otf the norm, is faking/hysterical/nuts/dangerous instead of just someone who needs a little help.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Its a modern riff on "I'm depraved onna count of I'm deprived." Maybe its "I'm inconsolable onna count of I was ill conceived."

    ReplyDelete
  90. Brother Yam3:19 PM

    I was a line cook in high school and I learned a great deal in a professional kitchen. We had sharp knives, ovens, salamanders (broilers), deep-fat fryers and a griddle. My best friend's mom had all manner of kitchen gadgets from specialized strawberry stem pluckers to an electric pizza cutter(!).

    She didn't have one decent knife. I mean, steak knives they probably got as a wedding present were used to prepare meals. After being asked to help in the kitchen, I suggested to my buddy that for her birthday, he get his mom a small collection of decent knives. He did and it changed her world.

    I have a co-worker who is into cooking. Not cooking like we know cooking, but one of these "food science" weirdos that has every type of unnecessary gee-gaw. Shit like centrifuges and computerized sous vide baths. I've been cooking for 30+ years and we could hardly understand each other when comparing recipes.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Pssst. "thawed out jism " does, in fact, sound pretty icky.

    ReplyDelete
  92. JennOfArk3:21 PM

    Who the fuck would combine gruyere with cheddar? Don't get me wrong - gruyere is hands-down my favorite cheese ever, the only kind I like to eat all by itself. But you put 1/2 pound of it with 2 pounds of sharp cheddar, then crap it up further with Kraft American singles and provlone? You'd never be able to taste the gruyere.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Gromet3:21 PM

    Their first album, which was really just an EP, was awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  94. And mostly young, pretty, women too. Most of those images are women, only two are men.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Which was kinda my point--these guys get squicked out by something and decide it should be banned. Glad my imagery hit the mark!

    ReplyDelete
  96. And there was literally nothing else he could do given the Congress's inability to appropriate enough money to deport everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  97. So is she coming out against right wing churches urging people to vote? Or driving people to vote? Or any other form of civic engagement such as that promoted by the moral majority people?

    ReplyDelete
  98. Brother Yam3:24 PM

    I make mine with mostly gruyere for the nice meltiness (is too a word!) of it and a small bit of cheddar for flavor. She obviously has never made a proper Bechamel sauce and that recipe looks like cheese dip with noodles for a thickener...

    ReplyDelete
  99. That was Squick my Jism, wasn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  100. dmsilev3:24 PM

    That's nearly three pounds of cheese plus 2-3 cups of dairy plus a stick and a half of butter, all poured over a pound of pasta.


    Was she trying to fatten her guests up so that she could sell the meat at market?

    ReplyDelete
  101. Would it really matter what you could taste? The substance produced would have the texture and impact of poured concrete as it hit your intestines. Your death would be nearly instantaneous.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Brother Yam3:27 PM

    O'Reilly was there when Bush piloted the lead attack bomber when they forced Iraq to surrender. Saw him get off the plane and everything.

    ReplyDelete
  103. dmsilev3:33 PM

    Never mind that, check out the $485 wooden volume knob:

    Dynamics are better and overall naturalness is improved. Here is a test for all you Silver Rock owners. Try removing the bakelite knobs and listen. You will be shocked by this! The signature knobs will have an even greater effect…really amazing! The point here is the micro vibrations created by the volume pots and knobs find their way into the delicate signal path and cause degradation (Bad vibrations equal bad sound). With the signature knobs micro vibrations from the C37 concept of wood, bronze and the lacquer itself compensate for the volume pots and provide (Good Vibrations) our ear/brain combination like to hear…way better sound!!

    ReplyDelete
  104. Having read some of the essay by the synthetic kids I'm kind of sympathetic, or synthetically sympathetic. Of course the problem they are having is one of a permanent state of teenage solipsism crossed with self pity but still. This:

    And I (Hattie) have undergone a strikingly similar experience; my mother informed me of my true parentage when I was 14, and it was, as they say, irrevocable. My mother’s then-husband had waited until they divorced to permit her to tell me, and the revelation of his not being my biological father clarified an overwhelming amount of issues between us. For a multitude of reasons—his background, my personality and beliefs, our lack of biological connection—the cards were stacked against our having a conventional, loving father-daughter relationship. And we didn’t.



    Does wring my withers. The poor kid had an asshole for a stepfather who abandoned the parental relationship upon divorcing the mother. This seems to Hattie to retroactively invalidate her mother's choice to use a sperm donor in the first place. Sure. this makes no sense in the real world. But it does make sense in a world of miserable self absorption in which a child's need for love and acceptance is denied by the real father and in which she desperately needs the fantasy of the perfect biological father to make up for it. Its like she thinks that "normal" kids can at least comfort themselves with imagining that their parents aren't their parents and that they are really royalty, kidnapped by gypsies or something. But she is denied this right because, au fond, she knows that the testube is her father.

    ReplyDelete
  105. bekabot3:41 PM

    My theory is that she's like this character from this book. She's engaged from the neck up.

    ReplyDelete
  106. ColBatGuano3:44 PM

    I found her hectoring about Americans being too lazy to engage in following extensive recipes to be the worst part. Like she hasn't spent her entire career agitating for our corporate overlords to be able to make everyone work for 80 hours a week for $2/hour. Who needs leisure time?

    ReplyDelete
  107. sharculese3:51 PM

    Let's be honest here. Megan didn't get ripped off. She wanted to play-act at being a whiz in the kitchen without the hard work of actually studying and practicing and cooking and she found a $1,400 toy that lets her do that. None of her friends are going to call her on it, because most of them have no idea how their kitchens work either, so overall, she got exactly what she wanted.


    Now, those of us who have put in the hard work of making mistakes, fucking around, and studying how to do things with food absolutely have the right to laugh at her, because she's a fraud, but what she isn't is a fraud who got ripped off. She paid good money to be a fraud, and as far as she and her social circle are concerned it's worth every penny.

    ReplyDelete
  108. ColBatGuano3:53 PM

    It might not be instantaneous, but about 6-8 hours later you're going to wish it was.

    ReplyDelete
  109. sharculese3:53 PM

    Ugh. I wasn't aware of that part of it, and that sounds way less fun than actually cooking. I'll fully admit to being a slapdash cook- I like to lazily amble around the kitchen, do this, do that, maybe pause to fuck around on the internet or make a cocktail. I don't want cooking to be a video game. That doesn't sound fun.

    ReplyDelete
  110. sharculese3:57 PM

    I got super lucky in that when my parents were helping me outfit my first kitchen back in college, we found a pretty good set of Henckel knives for a song at an Tuesday Morning.


    I spent 2 years without them and only just recently got them back and the difference they make is just absurd and I will never part with them again.

    ReplyDelete
  111. sharculese4:02 PM

    A microwave is a complicated contraption that takes up counterspace and electricity that could better be spent elsewhere, and that is the thing it's best at.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Its no different from the bread machine craze compared to the new "artisanal" methods of making bread using lots of water, low yeast, and long fermentations. You can have a mechanical solution which is basically a literal black box in which you put packaged or pre-measured ingredients or you can learn to actually cook. Megan chooses the most expensive, least sensual, method of producing an item.

    ReplyDelete
  113. sharculese4:05 PM

    Last time we where batting Dreher's writing around I ended up reading Amazon reviews for his cash grab memoir about his dead sister he never actually liked, and there were a ton of 1 and 2 star reviews from people who picked it up because they LIKED treacly prose about finding faith in tragedy and were turned off by what a smug douche Rod is.

    ReplyDelete
  114. It is good for warming up coffee and tea that has stood too long. And for warming up leftover Chinese food.

    But for actually cooking something? My mother "cooks" food in the microwave, by which I mean she takes vegetables or meats and renders them inedible (or converts them to pre-compost, depending on your point of view).

    ReplyDelete
  115. tigrismus4:09 PM

    It's a Foodarackacycle!

    ReplyDelete
  116. JennOfArk4:11 PM

    I'll admit to some arm fatigue from whipping the batter, but in general I don't make cakes or the like often enough to make it worth sacrificing counter space for a stand mixer. I had a hand mixer at one time but burned up the motor trying to use it to make hummus. So now I have a low-end food processor for the hummus, and never bothered replacing the hand mixer.

    ReplyDelete
  117. sharculese4:12 PM

    Oh for sure, and I agree with you that it sounds like absolutely no fun at all.


    I'm just under no illusion that Megan got anything other than what she paid for. She doesn't care about cooking, she has no interest in the process, she wants to put on a $200 dollar apron and pretend she's fancy because she bought a robot that knows what bechamel is, and she got exactly that.

    ReplyDelete
  118. sharculese4:13 PM

    I don't make cakes, literally the only thing that I make that might justify a stand mixer is pretzels, and mixing pretzel dough is not so tedious that I'm gonna throw down a bunch of money to not have to.

    ReplyDelete
  119. JennOfArk4:18 PM

    I only have 2 real knives, a chef's knife and what I would call a deboning knife, though I'm not sure that's the correct name for it - it's got a long thin blade and of course you know what the chef's knife blade is like. I keep them sharp and that's really about all the knives I need, aside from the cheapie black-plastic handled serrated knives I picked up at the grocery store over the years, which apparently no one makes anymore but which are great for slicing tomatoes and fine for slicing mushrooms and many other vegetables. I find my kitchen shears are easier for things like cutting fat off chicken breasts etc.

    ReplyDelete
  120. ColBatGuano4:26 PM

    This comment alone completely made my day:


    We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

    PLEASE! You must listen! We cannot maintain the link for long... I will type as fast as I can.

    DO NOT USE THE CABLES!

    We were fools, fools to develop such a thing! Sound was never meant to be this clear, this pure, this... accurate. For a few short days, we marveled. Then the... whispers... began.

    Were they Aramaic? Hyperborean? Some even more ancient tongue, first spoken by elder races under the red light of dying suns far from here? We do not know, but somehow, slowly... we began to UNDERSTAND.

    No, no, please! I don't want to remember! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME REMEMBER! I saw brave men claw their own eyes out... oh, god, the screaming... the mobs of feral children feasting on corpses, the shadows MOVING, the fires burning in the air! The CHANTING!

    WHY CAN'T I FORGET THE WORDS???

    We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

    Do not use the cables!

    ReplyDelete
  121. I am indeed a human being. My liver, heart, hair, and enzymes all work the same. I’ve discovered it is my psychology that is different and not-quite-right, due to my conception.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I have combined gruyere with cheddar for a potato gratin, when there wasn't enough of the former. It was great. Kraft American doesn't come to my house though I believe we all end up consuming it inadvertently in other venues. Kraft provolone sounds like it should be a crime. What the whole thing says about McArdle is that she cooks like a smart and vicious 14-year-old. Same way she writes, come to think of it.

    ReplyDelete
  123. But yoga is a Hindu discipline, not a Christian one, and the syncretism of mixing yoga with Christian worship is troubling

    ReplyDelete
  124. JennOfArk4:53 PM

    Yeah but - you used cheddar to stretch the gruyere. She used 4x as much cheddar as gruyere. There's no way it wouldn't completely overpower it. And then of course the crime of the Kraft slices....

    ReplyDelete
  125. satch4:57 PM

    Evil, capitalism hating Liebrals killed off Sky Mall, and Megan had NOTHING to say about it! Some culture warrior SHE is!

    ReplyDelete
  126. OMG that link was so beautiful. I loved imagining the picture of Suderman with his mysterious grocery list ordering him to procure 2.2 pounds of milk asking somebody at Citarella's or Gourmet Garage for advice.

    ReplyDelete
  127. M. Krebs5:02 PM

    You are a W-O-M-A-N.

    https://youtu.be/cTYIT8XhrCU

    ReplyDelete
  128. Yes, her reason was to make it sound more complicated and mysterious, with a secret ingredient, so everybody would nod and say "that's how you did it!" as they chugged another glass of pinot grigio. It's The Emperor's New Casserole.

    ReplyDelete
  129. M. Krebs5:09 PM

    Microwaves are also good for defrosting frozen stuff.


    I own one hideously overpriced kitchen appliance: A Sharp microwave drawer. My kitchen is low on counter space, and I had the luxury of having the cabinets built to accommodate it. The only reason that thing costs as much as four normal microwaves is that nobody but Sharp makes them. At least last I looked.

    ReplyDelete
  130. The turn around time on 'squicked out' to 'this violates a core tenet of my deeply held religious beliefs' sure is mighty quick.

    ReplyDelete
  131. M. Krebs5:12 PM

    I wonder if they go to 11.

    ReplyDelete
  132. JennOfArk5:12 PM

    I've got one of those GE Spacemakers that are meant to be mounted under the upper cabinets. When I had the kitchen remodeled 10 years ago, I had them build an open shelf space into the upper cabinets for it - really only use it for re-heating.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Dead_Andy_Breitbart5:13 PM

    Not to mention that those gadgets are a pain in the butt to clean. I have a stand mixer, but usually just do mixing by hand as it's quicker in the long run.

    ReplyDelete
  134. M. Krebs5:14 PM

    I'm guessing they play jism and blues.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Megalon5:17 PM

    She really is grotesque, isn't she? A living satire of vapid, empty headed upper class nitwits. She's someone who, if they appeared in fiction would be too on the nose and over done to believe.

    ReplyDelete
  136. satch5:18 PM

    I think Megan needs to follow the example of Jane Smith (from Mr. And Mrs. Smith):


    John: I have to tell you, I never really liked your cooking.
    It's not your gift.

    Jane: Baby, I've never cooked a day in my life.
    I-Temp girls cooked.

    John: Web of lies!

    ReplyDelete
  137. Bitter Scribe5:21 PM

    I tried to look at Dreher's original column, but it came up "Page Not Found." Even when I searched for "yoga" on their site and a link for that column came up, it was still "Page Not Found."


    Could it be Dreher has developed a sense of embarrassment?

    ReplyDelete
  138. satch5:22 PM

    "That's nearly three pounds of cheese plus 3-4 cups of dairy plus a stick and a half of butter, all poured over a pound of pasta."


    Umm, OK. And your point is?

    ReplyDelete
  139. satch5:30 PM

    The Bassomatic 76.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Maybe just his employers?

    ReplyDelete
  141. I know! What's with the Kraft slices? Is it some kind of hommage to kitsch?

    ReplyDelete
  142. That recipe looks like spackle. With elbows.

    ReplyDelete
  143. I had a gorgeous, handmade, low carbon steel knife (or do I mean high carbon steel) that was sharp as anything and of course I destroyed it cutting something I shouldn't have. Wah. Wah. Now I have an assortment of ordinary knives that I need to take to be sharpened.

    ReplyDelete
  144. JennOfArk5:42 PM

    For some reason, your question reminded me of one of those horror stories where rocks or fungus or something becomes sentient.

    ReplyDelete
  145. My god my mother steams fish in the microwave. Its the most terrifyingly disgusting thing you can imagine. However, Barbara Kafka's microwave gourmet and there's Microwave Mogul are both great books for the microwave which both show that there are some terrific dishes which can be made in the microwave. Including a marvellous pudding made of nothing much but water, frozen raspberries, and cornmeal. Also I routinely make chutneys and jams in the microwave.

    ReplyDelete
  146. All joking aside, as a new yoga devotee (after years away from it). I'm pretty sure that Rod really detests anything that causes him to really be alone with his thoughts and feelings. Just from reading his writings over these years he is painfully obsessed with what other people are thinking and doing. How could he ever get into a calm, meditative, space in which his thoughts weren't invaded by his inner carping critic? In which he didn't worry endlessly about what other people in the room were thinking or how well he was doing? I have found Yoga to be extremely thought provoking, at least the way its practiced where I'm practicing it. And sometimes the simple request that you set an intention for the practice is enough to give you a kind of pause which I bet Rod finds scary.

    ReplyDelete
  147. JennOfArk5:51 PM

    upvoted for the nym & avi. Though I agree with your point as well.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Suttree6:00 PM

    You mean high carbon. Low carbon would be worthless in the kitchen as it would never keep an edge. As much as I would love to have a Henckels, Wusthof, or even a Global I tend to buy some cheap stamped knife for $15 and keep a simple sharpener around. Not fancy at all but will chiffonade, brunoise, and jullienne all the same.

    ReplyDelete
  149. smut clyde6:13 PM

    https://farm1.staticflickr.com/46/156980933_1ea5a376db_z.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  150. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:29 PM

    I wonder how much Popeil "and it really, really works!" crap Megs has in storage from the days before she could afford pink Himalayan salt, and the gadgetry to cook with it.
    All of these appliances that claim to be the One You Really Need...aren't. Except for my Breadman...

    ReplyDelete
  151. Downpup E6:34 PM

    It took me 15 years to get my wife to try a peeler. It took her 3 seconds to be converted for life. Those suckers work.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:35 PM

    Zombart! Needs more green...
    I love my bread machine, but yeah, it's a royal PitB to clean, because nothing comes loose for easy access. Maybe a real spensive one would be different, but for $39 on ebay, this is what you get.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:47 PM

    Meltability/texture is the only thing I can think of, but with all the milk, cream, and flour, what good is 3 lousy slices gonna do? It's already a sauce without the KAC.

    ReplyDelete
  154. I find Kafka's recipes are a trial. And MM's are punishing on the knees.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:49 PM

    With all that It's still mac & cheese, which I despise. They should sell it in the hardware aisle...

    ReplyDelete
  156. I'll admit to some arm fatigue from whipping the batter...


    Boy howdy, don't get me started...

    ReplyDelete
  157. JennOfArk6:56 PM

    It's a different motion...circular, not up-n-down...


    Though now that you mention it, this could explain why McMegan needs these automated gadgets. Since she spends all day giving handjobs to the wealthy, by the time she gets home her arm is plumb wore out.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person6:59 PM

    He painted the Mission Accomplished banner right there on the deck, with the planes landing and taking off, in a gale-force wind, while the crew used him for target practice. two coats!

    ReplyDelete
  159. smut clyde6:59 PM

    "Like cooking"? Next you will tell me that "the journey is more important than the destination".

    ReplyDelete
  160. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person7:01 PM

    we should not harass or bother those who, with modesty and even
    generosity, say they are happy to leave the privilege of the ballot to
    those who are engaged


    The sentence of the century, I shit thee not...

    ReplyDelete
  161. smut clyde7:06 PM

    Deferred gratification and waiting for things: Good for the poors (character-building, training in productive habits). Bad for people like us (waste of our valuable time).

    ReplyDelete
  162. Listen, JoA,I'm the head coach of me so don't be telling me how to pull my goalie. And put away the whistle, fer crissakes!

    ReplyDelete
  163. montag27:28 PM

    Since MeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMegan's columns are sheer tedium, I suspect that's a problem shared by her cooking.

    Judging by her writing, I'm guessing her cupboards are full of five-gallon cans of lard, Saltines and jar after jar of Cheez Whiz.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Whisks always looked pretentious and high-falutin' to me. One day I used a whisk and I was hooked!

    ReplyDelete
  165. I'll try to hold myself back.

    ReplyDelete
  166. J Neo Marvin7:36 PM

    Jesus, lady, add an onion at least. Yuck.

    ReplyDelete
  167. satch7:41 PM

    Two words: Drano chaser.

    ReplyDelete
  168. We know from Susan's macaroni piece that MM literally can't multitask, because she explicitly has to boil and drain the pasta before she starts making the béchamel, which is pretty sad.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person7:42 PM

    Yes, but not in German.. All the sexiest appliances speak German...

    ReplyDelete
  170. I made mac&cheese once and the recipe called for mustard. I don't see mustard in Arglebargle's recipe. Tch! Tch!


    To all you cheese lovers out there: when I spent a summer in Bath, England, I walked to the grocery store every day... I loved their cheese. No matter what size or color or brand I bought, it was delicious. Ruined me for cheese in the US- it all tastes the same, like sharp cheddar or Swiss.


    Any suggestions where I could get real, tasty, cheese?

    ReplyDelete
  171. Me too on the ambling. I'm jealous of Aimai, but it's probably too late.

    ReplyDelete
  172. I'd still like to read that, for the comeuppance part.

    ReplyDelete
  173. JennOfArk7:45 PM

    Some bay leaf and paprika might be nice, too.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Yeah, the Kraft cheese is mostly a petroleum product, isn't it? When we were kids (1960s) Velveeta was a treat. Really. Yum. But we lived on homemade beans beans beans beans beans (with vegetables). Hamburger & potatoes (and veges) on Sunday! DAMM we were healthy!

    ReplyDelete
  175. JennOfArk7:49 PM

    Well, there are two types of Kraft singles: the stuff they call cheese food (because they aren't allowed to call it cheese) and actual American cheese, which is a dairy rather than vegetable oil product. Neither has a place in fine dining, but at least the dairy-based version is real cheese, just not very good cheese.


    Velveeta we won't even go into. To my mother's credit, she never bought it. But she did serve up that horrid Veg-All on a regular basis, so she had some sins of her own.

    ReplyDelete
  176. J Neo Marvin7:50 PM

    A fiendish thingy!

    ReplyDelete
  177. JennOfArk7:51 PM

    Our Kroger carries a lot of good cheeses now. I go for the Alpenhaus gruyere, but if you've got a Trader Joe's nearby, their Swiss cave-aged gruyere is even better.

    ReplyDelete
  178. JennOfArk7:52 PM

    Is Barbara related to Franz? If so, I think I'm afraid of her recipes.

    ReplyDelete
  179. satch7:52 PM

    Maybe Megan would like a nice large deep fryer for her next Thanksgiving turkey. Or would that be too trailer trashy...?

    ReplyDelete
  180. Yes! Microwaves are great for warming up Chinese food. I made microwave onion soup once... cooked the onions (which I sliced myself) in butter in a glass pan. Came out ok, but no easier or faster than sauteing.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Prices have gotten so outrageous I can hardly follow my own advice, but (1) imports and (2) farmers' markets, which usually translate into some kind of kindness to the environment as well, and are like your English scene but in some undefinable way still better and more real.

    ReplyDelete
  182. satch8:04 PM

    The mother of a friend was a G.I. bride from England. It took years for her to get over her memories of wartime deprivation and actually peel potatoes and carrots rather than just scrubbing them.

    ReplyDelete
  183. no easier or faster than sauteing.

    Kinda like microwaving rice--takes 20 minutes on the stovetop, and about 25 in the microwave.

    ReplyDelete
  184. ken_lov8:09 PM

    I used to think 'The Federalist' was kind of 'Daily Caller' for people who finished high school, but it's more like 'Breitbart' for people with concentration spans long enough to read more than 3 paragraphs.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Roy T.8:09 PM

    I thought he was the codpiece.

    ReplyDelete
  186. YNWA405158:17 PM

    "Don't touch it! Don't even look at it!"

    ReplyDelete
  187. Found it! Roy's link works for me too.

    ReplyDelete
  188. M. Krebs8:21 PM

    But in the hideous world of kitchen machinery, the KitchenAid stand mixer really is a thing of beauty. It's almost worth having one just to look at it.

    ReplyDelete
  189. smut clyde8:25 PM

    Is this still the bechamel subthread?

    ReplyDelete
  190. M. Krebs8:26 PM

    Something tells me her surname may have been slight impediment to her career as a writer of cookbooks.

    ReplyDelete
  191. smut clyde8:29 PM

    It makes you wonder how the human race has survived, after all those thousands of generations of children being fathered by people who were not actually the husbands of their mothers.

    ReplyDelete
  192. smut clyde8:30 PM

    I would pay good money for "The Penal Colony: Cookbook Edition".

    ReplyDelete
  193. montag28:32 PM

    Except, perhaps, these days, for a Tea Partier on a Hoveround waving a "Gummint Stay Out My Medicaire" sign.

    ReplyDelete
  194. M. Krebs8:33 PM

    Yes, that reminds me: Microwaves are fine for quick steaming certain vegetables such as broccoli, asparagus, spinach --- when you feel lazy. I'm also fond of the frozen edamame (also known as "soybeans") that you microwave in the bag.

    ReplyDelete
  195. smut clyde8:34 PM

    We are very fond of frosting, all three of us. We looked at the picture on the tin; we thought of the juice. We smiled at one another, and Harris got a spoon ready.

    Then we looked for the knife to open the tin with. We turned out everything in the hamper. We turned out the bags. We pulled up the boards at the bottom of the boat. We took everything out onto the bank and shook it. There was no tin-opener to be found.

    Then Harris tried to open the tin with a pocket-knife, and broke the knife and cut himself badly; and George tried a pair of scissors, and the scissors flew up, and nearly put his eye out. While they were dressing their wounds, I tried to make a hole in the thing with the spiky end of the hitcher, and the hitcher slipped and jerked me out between the boat and the bank into two feet of muddy water, and the tin rolled over, uninjured, and broke a teacup.

    Then we all got mad. We took that tin out on the bank, and Harris went up into a field and got a big sharp stone, and I went back into the boat and brought out the mast, and George held the tin and Harris held the sharp end of his stone against the top of it, and I took the mast and poised it high in the air, and gathered up all my strength and brought it down.

    It was George's straw hat that saved his life that day. He keeps that hat now (what is left of it), and, of a winter's evening, when the pipes are lit and the boys are telling stretchers about the dangers they have passed through, George brings it down and shows it round, and the stirring tale is told anew, with fresh exaggerations every time.

    Harris got off with merely a flesh wound.

    ReplyDelete
  196. Roy T.8:36 PM

    I got a Thermomix 5000, but when it locked me out of the kitchen and started singing Bicycle Built for Two I had to pull the plug.

    ReplyDelete
  197. She's a female Mr. Collins, really. And the Koch brothers are her Lady Catherine de Burgh.

    ReplyDelete
  198. M. Krebs8:47 PM

    How about another three or four pounds of fucking macaroni?

    ReplyDelete
  199. JennOfArk8:47 PM

    I just stick with the basmati - it's near impossible to screw up.

    ReplyDelete
  200. coozledad8:57 PM

    O sage, thus neither in childhood nor in youth nor in old age do some fuckers enjoy any happiness. None of the objects in this world is meant to give them happiness . They vainly seek to find such happiness in the foodstuffs of Lyon.


    Only he is happy who is free from the demands of time consuming kitchen chores and who is swayed by the marketing of kitchen appliances: but such a person is extremely rare in this world, born to intellectually intimidating parents, and shunned or heckled. Indeed, I do not regard him as a hero who is able to make a paste of bacon and onions; only him I consider a hero who is able to pair this with a genoise on a weeknight.”
    ― Swami Venkatesananda, Vasistha's Yoga Cookbook.

    ReplyDelete