Wednesday, February 04, 2015

EVERYTHING IS POLITICS TO THESE PEOPLE, PART ONE GAZILLION.

I ignored the Super Bowl on Sunday, and a good thing too, as Ed Driscoll tells me if I had watched I would have been subjected to a barrage of liberal propaganda. No, this isn't the old Rush Limbaugh idea that the NFL itself is left-wing; it's about the commercials:
So starting with one of the first Super Bowl-only ads, the legendary Ridley Scott-directed 1984-inspired Apple advertisement to launch the Macintosh, Madison Avenue ad reps began to use the platform to have fun. Ad reps created brilliant demo reels for themselves, and buzz for the clients’ products, which sometimes, with a little luck, even translated into increased sales.
That formula began to grate a bit in the postmodern naughts, as a formula began to evolve that featured men as the butts of jokes, part of a larger trend in the media overculture that Glenn Reynolds and others were first commenting on well over a decade ago. But those seem like pretty carefree days compared to what we witnessed last night...
Even worse than dumb husband jokes? Steel yourself, my friends:
By my rough count, there were at least two ads featuring people with no legs, one with a missing father, one with misogynistic anti-male crack from comedienne Sarah Silverman, and one ad bullying a ten year old boy because he said someone “plays like a girl.” (The horror.)
The ads with people with no legs, I suppose, were meant to make you feel sorry for them, which is a classic Democrat trick, and the father was probably missing because of no-fault divorce.
And perhaps most infamously based on comments on Twitter and even the London Daily Mail, one dead ten year old boy, thanks to Nationwide. (And if you don’t approve of this understandable media gruel, you’re an Internet “hater” — says Coca-Cola?)
I'm not sure why the famous dead kid ad is left-wing: was he murdered in the womb?
A friend of mine watching the game at my house last night, a fellow member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy bivouacked behind enemy lines in Deep Blue Socialist California, dubbed it “The Nanny Bowl.” He’s definitely on to something. As journalist Kevin P. Craver tweeted to me last night, “I fell into an alternate universe in which the party that loses the November election gets to write the Super Bowl ads.”
Actually, the people who write the ads do so because they are paid by clients, who carefully vet the ads and then pay millions of dollars to get them on during the game. Contrary to Driscoll's paranoid fantasy, they aren't doing it so the ad guys can have fun, or as a donation to the Democratic Party; they do it so people will talk about their brands, and then remember them when they go shopping. It's as pure a capitalist spectacle as can be imagined. The League, the network, and the sponsors can hardly help it if no one ponied up for a #Benghazi infomercial.
Rush Limbaugh has been talking for years about how hard the left has been trying to undermine football...
OK, this is where we came in. Oh, wait: Driscoll eventually gets someone to explain the dead kid-Democrat connection:
The modern left’s ideology is one big Nationwide ad. Submit to our practices or your kids will die. Only our mandated health insurance will treat your Bain cancer or protect you from global warming...
It's like he had a mole in the focus group! I look forward to Driscoll's column on how the left was responsible for Daniel Bryant getting screwed in the Royal Rumble.

154 comments:

  1. What... nothing about the Budweiser Clydesdale-and-puppy ads? The puppy goes out in the big, wide world to seek his fortune with nothing but pluck and freedom, finds he can't make it on his own and has to be rescued from the wolf of free market competition by the Clydesdales of the nanny state. Christ, Driscoll is slipping...

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  2. Ellis_Weiner11:26 PM

    "your Bain cancer"


    Maybe he means "Bane." It's a Batman thing. Otherwise, I got nothin'. Mitt's company as snarky villain? This is either eleven-dimensional chess, or Finnegans Wake fan fiction.

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  3. Ormond11:27 PM

    Geez, poor guys. Even Market Capitalism itself turned out to be a comsymp.

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  4. Dean C. Rowan11:28 PM

    I'm "left," I suppose. I would *love* to undermine football and all professional sports, which are little more than preparation for endless war. But worse -- far, far worse -- are the ads. You are on the money (heh heh, pun): they are pure capitalist spectacle, meaning they are as without content as somebody relentlessly poking you in the ribs to get you to do something.

    And so with me, too, it's politics. If we could smash professional sports and obliterate advertising we'd be happier.

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  5. Yes, if only real men were in charge of writing ad copy. You know, the kind who bitch and whine about everything.

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  6. montag211:37 PM

    Jonah only thinks his standards are higher, but that's just because they're floating on a cloud of methane.

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  7. Megalon11:37 PM

    That's fuckin' stupid. Even if everything he's insinuating were actually true, so what? Is airing some ads that are "left" in some really vague way (DURING THA SUPERBOWL!!! OMFG!!!) really the last piece that needs to fall into place for Barry's long awaited Caliphate of the proletariat to be complete? Or was this guy just THAT fucking desperate for something to write and THAT fucking lazy that this is seriously what he went with? I mean, damn. Even Jonah Goldberg has better standards than this.

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  8. JennOfArk11:42 PM

    Maybe someone should tell Ed that ad time during the Superbowl is very, very expensive, which is why no one bought enough time for an ad featuring John Galt's speech in its entirety.


    Which just proves that the free market is out to destroy capitalism, or something.

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  9. GeniusLemur11:44 PM

    Shorter Ed Driscoll: The super bowl had some ads I didn't like! The liberals are taking over my super bowl! WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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  10. GeniusLemur11:49 PM

    You think he's not aware super bowl ad time...
    "Avenue ad reps began to use the platform to have fun."
    ...Nevermind.

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  11. angelfoot12:13 AM

    "...one with misogynistic anti-male crack from comedienne Sarah Silverman."


    Yes, the Sarah Silverman and her "anti-male crack" is the real misogynist!

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  12. Megalon12:27 AM

    Jonah's writing is so amusing because he really wants to be taken seriously as a real pointy bearded intellectual but doesn't know nothing about anything and is far to lazy to learn. Plus he has an amazing anti-genius with phrases, like "the white male is the Jew of Liberal Fascism" "I'm glad no one is running things because it means I'm free" etc.

    But this thing was just pathetic, and not in a funny way.

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  13. I'd like to contribute to the discussion, but I've sworn off TV ads until the FCC allows video of Joni Ernst de-balling a hog to be shown during Dora the Explorer...

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  14. That formula began to grate a bit in the postmodern naughts, as a formula began to evolve that featured men as the butts of jokes...


    ...continuing the right-wing redefinition of "postmodern" to mean "any cultural thing I don't like."


    Of course, maybe he has a point. What is a word, anyway? An abstract expression of a thought, in this case rendered graphically through a series of glyphs. Isn't it up to the reader to decide the meaning of those symbols? Should one be mocked as an idiot simply because his interpretation differs from that of the original creator? And on a similar note, should we so easily dismiss this belief that corporations spent millions and millions of dollars on ad space just to amuse a few employees, simply because that belief makes no "logical sense"? I must ponder these things further.

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  15. Apparently the creationists have their shorts in a bunch because Carnival Cruise Line used a quote from JFK about having come from the sea.

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  16. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume1:26 AM

    thanks to Nationwide


    Oh, you remembered their name? Mission accomplished.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Cosmic Towel1:27 AM

    Right Shark was a far better dancer, but libruls pushing an agenda promoted Left Shark in order to advance their radical leftist ideology.

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  18. Giant Monster Gamera1:37 AM

    They're upset because the commercials weren't all for Goldline and Rascal scooters?

    ReplyDelete
  19. John Wesley Hardin2:04 AM

    "at least two ads featuring people with no legs, perhaps there were more, but most of them had pants on, so we can't just assume they all had legs."

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  20. montag22:08 AM

    For a long time, I've been pretty sure that the mere existence of some political viewpoint different and apart from the raving lunacy that passes for conservatism today is enough to make the Driscolls of our zeitgeist break out in hives, swallow their tongues and generally go into conniptions resembling St. Vitus' Dance.

    So, you're probably more right than wrong in this estimation. Conservatism cannot fail, ipso facto, any gentle ripple in their space-time continuum must be the fault of everything not conservative.

    The hypersensitivity to imagined slights is strong in this one. Which is another way of saying that he's got a bug up his ass thisssss big.

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  21. Contrary to Driscoll's paranoid fantasy, they aren't doing it so the ad
    guys can have fun, or as a donation to the Democratic Party; they do it
    so people will talk about their brands, and then remember them when
    they go shopping. It's as pure a capitalist spectacle as can be
    imagined.


    They just can't face the fact that their ideology fails in the marketplace of ideas.

    Anybody care for a poop-tainted latte? A crappucino, if you will...

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  22. They take it personally because they are bottom feeders, wallowing in the muck like so many hagfish. Apologies to hagfish.

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  23. He must mean the 19-naughts... either that or those Three Stooges shorts traveled back in time through a wormhole.

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  24. Those perfidious liberals also forced him to eat reduced-fat nachos.

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  25. JennOfArk2:38 AM

    How they long for the days of "watch what you say, watch what you do" under that liberal W, whom none of them voted for or supported.


    They had control of all branches of government, and still spent the decade with their panties in knots because liberals still existed and occasionally, said things with which they disagreed.

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  26. smut clyde4:21 AM

    Hey now, hagfish scavenge dead carcasses. Quite a different niche from bottom feeding.

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  27. smut clyde4:26 AM

    Rush Limbaugh has been talking for years about how hard the left has been trying to undermine football


    And apparently the method they are using now is to allow large corporations to promote themselves through the football industry!
    There seems to be smoke coming from my logic circu
    ERROR 204 STACK FRAME CORRUPTED INITIATING CORE DUMP INTERRUPT

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  28. Kordo6:02 AM

    My Gods, is "Conservatism" just an unconscious attempt to rediscover the primordial language through the destruction of concrete meaning?? I thought they were all lazy, whinging idiots, but maybe they're the expression of some cultural-genetic autistic-savant syndrome; a built-in linguistic reset function.

    Remind me to smoke less weed before reading your comments, D. You kinda blew my mind there....

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  29. Bizarro Mike6:50 AM

    He meant to write "misandrist" but ran up against the limit of his intellect.

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  30. Someone should make a tv series about the "good ole days" when ad men sat around drinking at the office all day, sexually harrassing the secretaries, and fucking around all night while their valium-addicted wives mind the offspring at the ranch-style home in the burbs and fantasize about the milkman.


    Naw....who'd wanna be reminded of all we lost as a nation, after the men lost control of the Super Bowl ads.

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  31. misogynistic AND anti-male...that Silverman gal is a hoot.

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  32. You know, those horses are expensive. I don't imagine for a second that one man is responsible for them and allows them to wander around free all night.


    Fucking liberals can't even get that right.

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  33. and reverse mortgages...the powerhouse of Super Bowl ads.

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  34. What about the Budweiser (?) ad about how only mass-produced yellow water is good beer--fuck all the wussies who want beer to have flavor?


    Was that a Super Bowl ad? I dunno, I only see ads when I use Hulu.

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  35. Bizarro Mike7:39 AM

    Yes.

    A more truthful version of the ad would have Bud complaining that real men don't want hops in their beer. And the real, real truthful version would just say, look, we don't brew with hops or peaches or whatever because that costs money. It's cheaper to just have some talking frogs on the TV than to put things that mouth-breathers like you won't even like in your beer.

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  36. Lurking Canadian8:10 AM

    After the revolution, all Super Bowl ads will be for Smith & Wesson products and feature S&W spokesman Jesus Christ. Only then will America be free.

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  37. BigHank538:12 AM

    Reminder to self: read the whole thread before posting.

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  38. So what, exactly, would be an affirmative "conservative" commercial?

    Scene opens on Arctic Ocean shoreline. Numerous ice floes bob in the waves. On one ice floe can be seen dozens of children, on another a group of clearly Hispanic people. Camera flies back to shoreline where men with AR-15s are pushing elderly people in wheelchairs onto an ice floe.
    VOICEOVER: In these challenging economic times, it takes strong manly men to make the tough decisions. America can no longer afford those who won't or can't work, those who create a burden to society that drags all of us down. Koch Industries' new Fair Market Solution ensures that only hard-working real Americans like you benefit from the beneficence of mega corporations willingness to pay you minimum wage. For the rest, the magic of the market will work its magic invisible hand.

    Koch Industries: Because our tax breaks aren't going to fund themselves.

    END SCENE

    I think Rush would approve

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  39. coozledad8:26 AM

    Yes.

    That's as close as they got to being able to do what they really wanted, and all that confiscated property and ethnic cleanliness just slipped through their fingers.

    Well, some of it.

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  40. the circle is complete; i visit alicublog for wingnuttia news o' the day, and here roy drops a daniel bryan reference in the last line.


    clap clap clapclapclapclap

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  41. petesh8:27 AM

    It's what I love about her — she hates everyone, including herself. And especially assholes like SeƱor Driscoll.

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  42. BigHank538:27 AM

    What is a word? I'd say it's something that ol' Ed has only a passing acquaintance with. Check out this gem:

    ...with misogynistic anti-male crack from...

    Something that's misogynistic can't also be anti-male, Ed. "Misogynistic" is not a synonym for "sexist". The word you want is misandristic. It doesn't get used much because there's not much misandry in this world. So little, in fact, that the goddamn Disqus spell-checker doesn't even recognize it.

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  43. You know after sll that talk about the ACA i totally misread the line " its like he had a mole in the focus group..."

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  44. coozledad8:37 AM

    There's polyandry, practiced by the Netsilik Eskimo, which is the icy road Sarah Silverman is taking us all down.
    You'll wish you'd listened to Ed Driscoll once your nickname is " Number Three".

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  45. tigrismus8:37 AM

    I hated that ad too, but because Carnival is a smoke-belching, sea-polluting, coral reef-smashing nightmare.

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  46. coozledad8:41 AM

    I think they should make the Fellowship of Christian Athletes a binding contract for life, so that by the time they're in their thirties and forties the small number of them who aren't in the penitentiary will have to go pray with the 85-90% who are.

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  47. Ed's number two, which is his number one problem.

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  48. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps8:51 AM

    I'm pretty sure it's "brain cancer", because actually reading your auto-correct suggestions is the eighty-seventh form of liberalism.

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  49. tigrismus8:51 AM

    Ooh ooh do the foot fungus ad!

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  50. And such small portions, too.

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  51. "Peter, put away your sword! Use this smooth slide-action S&W Semi-auto instead."

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  52. Kinda grows on you, don't it?

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  53. In their world, anything that's even slightly disagreeable is comsymp and perpetrated by liberals out to destroy the world. Barrista foamed your milk a bit too much? Only a hard-core commie would do such a dastardly thing! You needed to put the toast down a second time because it wasn't done enough? Clearly this is because the nanny-state liberals reduced the voltage coming into your house in an effort to ruin your toast!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Helmut Monotreme9:27 AM

    I have heard that those ships are unsafe workplaces as well, working conditions are straight out of a Dickens novel, and the quality of the maintenance work is as cheap as possible.

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  55. tigrismus9:27 AM

    Or the 16-naughts? Or the 3-aughts? Not to jump on the BRAND NEW NEVER SEEN BEFORE "my, aren't some men dumb" train, but was he born yesterday?

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  56. montag29:36 AM

    "My Gods, is "Conservatism" just an unconscious attempt to rediscover the
    primordial language through the destruction of concrete meaning??"

    I.e,, "Ooga Booga!" (What would primordial fear be without primordial language to express it?)

    ReplyDelete
  57. M. Krebs9:37 AM

    Every time a commercial that is not about trucks, beer, or masculine body-maintenance products runs during a televised sporting event, an angel pisses on Ronald Reagan's grave.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Halloween_Jack9:38 AM

    "I bring not peace but a rocket launcher."

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  59. Gromet9:41 AM

    Driscoll's right. I've worked for years in advertising, and I can tell you: its ultimate goal is to destroy capitalism. Sure, in the short term we want to make people long to own things they don't need. But the end game? We want a global, gender-neutral worker's paradise founded in communal property and shared resources with no currency, credit, or desire.

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  60. Halloween_Jack9:50 AM

    “I fell into an alternate universe in which the party that loses the November election gets to write the Super Bowl ads.”


    Luckily, he returned to his own, in which Chris Kyle made a sweet sniper shot from heaven to blow away the QB from the red state team, whereupon Tim Tebow from the Lynchburg Fightin' Jesii took a knee in thanks. Then it cut to an ad for seats to the Superdome-hosted impeachment trial and execution of the Kenyan Usurper, free commemorative nooses to the first 1000 people through the gates, if they're not trampled. Then an ad for Patriot Beer, which promises you that drinking a whole suitcase of the stuff will get you crazy laid with a random Fox News anchor. (Of the opposite gender, of course--no homo, bro!) Then an ad for Sarah Palin's latest book, Warrrrrrrrgrble Fleeb Poot Lamestream Big Gulp 'Murca: Reflections From The Heart. Then twenty-five seconds of shirtless Aaron Schock and Paul Ryan working out while looking into each others eyes, ending in a voice-over: "Core Values--Keep 'Em Hard." Half-time show: Victoria Jackson playing the ukulele and screeching her latest hit: "Hillary Is A Muslim, Too."

    ReplyDelete
  61. montag29:53 AM

    [Background shot of immense nuclear explosion, cut to black guy in hoodie being carbonized]

    [Voiceover] Pantex. Redefining self-defense since 1945. At your local gun shop.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Gromet9:53 AM

    Also, why does he think the aughts were postmodern? Of all decades, he picks the era of 9/11 and W. Why not the era of Warhol, or Max Headroom, or gosh, I dunno -- what the hell is he talking about? Does HE even know?

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  63. I want to curl up on the couch under a Snuggie with this comment.

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  64. The problem is that, credit where credit is due, they sure haven't given up yet, and the whining is a big part of the strategy.

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  65. tigrismus10:20 AM

    I know, right? In a game between Seattle and Boston teams, no less!

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  66. I'm sure the Congressman will move ahead with his plan to lift the burden of handwashing from the restaurant industry. At least until he contracts hepatitis from a hamburger.

    ReplyDelete
  67. tigrismus10:26 AM

    Not sure about manscaping. How about dick pills?

    ReplyDelete
  68. Gromet10:27 AM

    I want to listen to this comment give a 50-page speech about its philosophy and then follow it to a gulch.

    ReplyDelete
  69. AngryWarthogBreath10:27 AM

    Given that it's followed up with the climate change thing, I think it actually is meant to be read as it's written. "Those liberals are so STUPID they think Bain will give them cancer that they'll treat with national health care! The stupids!" ...That's how I read it, anyway. Maybe I got too close to the heart of darkness and was tainted with its wake.

    ReplyDelete
  70. montag210:27 AM

    "I think Rush would approve"

    No doubt. He's looking for new advertisers, I hear.

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  71. Ellis_Weiner10:44 AM

    Someone wisely said on Twitter, "I'd like to live in a nanny state run by actual nannies."

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  72. Ellis_Weiner10:50 AM

    Your Internet is ready, sir. Shall we wrap it or will you eat it, or wear it, or whatever, here?

    ReplyDelete
  73. AngryWarthogBreath10:50 AM

    Is God taking applications for angelhood? I have an excellently sized bladder and good flow control, and am pretty certain I would bring a whole lot of enthusiasm to the job.

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  74. Disqus spell-checker has a leftist bias?

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  75. https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIFRlNNUTBEAmUf7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTByZ2N0cmxpBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMg--?p=snl+jesus+unchained+youtube&vid=39fa38b1b088413ea9d42f6b23e0bf28&l=4%3A44&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DVN.608006991192983050%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dq45rBblVaUY&tit=Official+Trailer+djesus+uncrossed+SNL+Blasphemy.+Media+%26+The+World+Despises+Jesus+%26+True+Christians&c=1&sigr=11bmn575t&sigt=133i54s07&sigi=11r31e8dv&age=1361374199&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=mozilla&tt=b

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  76. Real men are proud of their hairy backs.

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  77. brandonrg11:27 AM

    There's a reason the ships are all registered to Caribbean countries and not the US.

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  78. redoubtagain11:27 AM

    (Jonah Goldberg as a tailback in Goucher College's "three yards and a cloud of methane" offense)

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  79. All crack is anti-male, anti-female also. Heroin too.

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  80. redoubtagain11:27 AM

    your Bain Capital

    Fixed

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  81. Kinda taking the long way around to get there, aren't ya?

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  82. redoubtagain11:27 AM

    "I am not a number! I am a free man market!!!"

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  83. Howlin Wolfe11:27 AM

    This type of Soviet-style cultural analysis reinforces their victimology - they're beset by nanny state freedom robbers everywhere! What about MY right to sneer at those less fortunate, or not to have to see a commercial that I deem ideologically incorrect without having to turn the channel? Won't somebody please think of the children AND the right-wing cranks???

    ReplyDelete
  84. M. Krebs11:33 AM

    Oh, boner pills! How could I forget those?

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  85. tigrismus11:34 AM

    Bahamas mostly, but not entirely Caribbean. Panama, Malta, Marshall Islands, etc are also big on providing flags of convenience. Liberia is huge in cargo, not sure if they're still popular with cruise lines.

    ReplyDelete
  86. tigrismus11:37 AM

    Alinskyite tactics!

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  87. whetstone11:38 AM

    The modern left’s ideology is one big Nationwide ad. Submit to our practices or your kids will die.

    Oh grow up, Ed. The ad was a reminder (from the private sector) not to let your kids drown in a bathtub, drink chemicals, or get crushed by your television. YOU KNOW, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FREE MARKET.

    It's not like the dead kid in the ad shot himself with a gun because gun safes are socialism, or died from pertussis.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Ellis_Weiner12:26 PM

    "tailback"--I see what you did there.

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  89. Bitter Scribe12:27 PM

    I didn't feel like clicking over. Did he get to the part about how the media protects black quarterbacks?

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  90. stepped_pyramids12:27 PM

    This guy not only says "SJW" at least four times, but at one point he expands it as "socialist justice warrior". I think this is supposed to be witty.

    (Incidentally, the "socialist justice warrior" is Bob Costas. BOB COSTAS.)

    ETA: Wow, this is amazing. Apparently criminal behavior by players and cheating by the Patriots are both examples of leftist undermining of football. I'm assuming the former is because the players are "thuggish" (wink, wink) and we all know which party "thugs" are in the tank for. I imagine he envisions Ray Rice balling his fist and thinking "I don't want to do it... but I have to do it. For Alinsky."

    Also, there's some cryptic meme involving Sandra Fluke saying "that's not funny", because she's a feminist, I guess, and feminists say that? People not eating gluten is apparently also a hallmark of progressivism, which is news to me. I thought all us limp-wristed lefties were vegetarians who ate seitan.

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  91. Brother Yam12:27 PM

    Oh, good one! Nailed it...

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  92. tigrismus12:27 PM

    Mental self protection?

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  93. I'm not so sure, those English nannies look pretty scary... tho I'd love a mandatory afternoon nap-time. IF 1984 had a mandatory nap in the afternoon it wouldn't have been nearly as awful.

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  94. Bufflars12:31 PM

    He's probably still mad that Costas pointed out last year that some people don't like the Washington DC football team's name. Therefore, Costas must be a SJW, no matter how smug and conservative he is about everything else.

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  95. but most of them had pants onYet more liberal tyranny!

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  96. Imagine a shot of the Concordia slowly tipping over, people drowning, captain fleeing.... "return to the sea!" Yeah, whoever thought that one up should be the next Repug nominee for president.

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  97. Hey, given the quality of some teams' offensive lines, somebody has to.

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  98. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:37 PM

    Politics, pathology, what's the difference...

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  99. Blood having the same percentage of salt as sea-water doesn't mean nothing! So lets destroy the oceans!

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  100. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:38 PM

    Warrrrrrrrgrble Fleeb Poot Lamestream Big Gulp & Murca are her lawyers, no?

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  101. Submit to our practices or your kids will die.And for the modern right's ideology, simply replace "or" with "and."

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  102. She joked about a plumber?

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  103. Ellis_Weiner12:48 PM

    Yes--Three Minute Hate, Fifteen Minute Nap.

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  104. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:48 PM

    Well, you have to admit, getting paid extra-large piles of money to write and film 30-second ads to be seen by millions, with bleeding-edge creativity a prerequisite, sounds like a lot of fun if you're a Mad (Wo)Man...

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  105. J Neo Marvin12:49 PM

    Only if they were Mary Poppins clones.

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  106. J Neo Marvin12:50 PM

    Our states would be run by governesses instead of governors.

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  107. Piglet! They castrate little baby pigs, not grown Hogs. Not so macho, eh?

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  108. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:54 PM

    No.

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  109. Helmut Monotreme12:59 PM

    Well, as anyone with oceanfront property will learn over the next few decades the sea is returning to us.

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  110. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:27 PM

    45,784,988 commercials aired on 600 channels every year, and the only ones worth hyperventilating about are the ones on the Super Bowl. Maybe it's the Roman Numerals? The smell of gym socks, whiskey and Testosterone? Memories of gladiator movies?

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  111. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person1:27 PM

    I suspect he was after something more like "anti-'misogynistic male' crack", but, like a lot of Right Blogistan, was just too lazy to get it right

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  112. Jonah was "Pigpen" when he was a kid.

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  113. J Neo Marvin1:38 PM

    Joni Ernst can't castrate fully grown adult pigs, but Sarah Silverman can!

    ReplyDelete
  114. Shit boats.

    ReplyDelete
  115. And they make lovely wallets, once you get the slime off.

    ReplyDelete
  116. AlanInSF3:56 PM

    If there's one thing in America more at the mercy of us leftists than the NFL, it's the mass marketers of consumer products.

    ReplyDelete
  117. AlanInSF3:57 PM

    Only a hard-core commie would say "barrista"

    ReplyDelete
  118. AlanInSF3:59 PM

    I'm a long-time ad guy too, but I can't really speak to this issue because Bill Ayers wrote all my copy.

    ReplyDelete
  119. AlanInSF4:01 PM

    It was a lot more fun when we could sneak in sublminal messages about seizing the means of production, but once the "pause" button was invented those days were gone.

    ReplyDelete
  120. AlanInSF4:04 PM

    Maybe this would be a conservative ad: "God made Woman from a rib, but here at Angry Joe's Smokehouse we make 'em even tastier."

    ReplyDelete
  121. AlanInSF4:18 PM

    Eventually, wingnuts will become like the Catskills comedian whose routine was so familiar, he just called out "Number thirty-three" and everyone laughed.

    ReplyDelete
  122. AlanInSF4:21 PM

    "The modern left’s ideology is one big Nationwide ad. Submit to our practices or your kids will die." That's just what my four-year-old told me when I tried to tell her about red lights.

    ReplyDelete
  123. JennOfArk4:31 PM

    Gives a whole new meaning to "poop deck."

    ReplyDelete
  124. TGuerrant4:38 PM

    A friend in marketing - yes, I am a friend to all, even to those in the untouchable caste - says the men-as-butt-of-jokes ads are created because they trigger feelings of security and successful competitiveness in male viewers who then feel superior and transfer their satisfaction to particular types of products, while not turning off female consumers of the same products.

    I went and watched a bunch just to huff some of that security, success, superiority, satisfaction stuff, but it doesn't work on me. Maybe I'm too alpha/redpill for beta/bluepill crap like that. Those classic Miss Cleo Psychic Readers Network ads, though - wow. I believe totally in my future when I watch those.

    ReplyDelete
  125. TGuerrant4:43 PM

    When I read that Schock had his Capitol Hill office painted red and propped with black candles, I knew I had to fix that boy up with perky former witch and GOP candidate Christine O'Donnell. Schock and Awwww! Get it? Huh? Hey, c'mon. TMZ will be all. over. it.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Halloween_Jack4:45 PM

    I think that those are the kids of hers that even she won't talk about.

    ReplyDelete
  127. TGuerrant4:53 PM

    Noro virus, so special when you've got the upper bunk.

    ReplyDelete
  128. TGuerrant4:55 PM

    Valentine's present! Yes!

    ReplyDelete
  129. TGuerrant4:59 PM

    Basically, I'm staying alive just to find out what we're calling the era that follows the Post-Modern Era. I have one or two other things to do, but that's the biggie.

    ReplyDelete
  130. TGuerrant5:05 PM

    He's going to get his yellow ribbon magnet repo'd if he continues vet-hating like that where Clint Eastwood can see him.

    ReplyDelete
  131. billcinsd5:26 PM

    I have a hard time believing there is anything Palin won't talk about

    ReplyDelete
  132. TGuerrant5:38 PM

    http://assets.nationaljournal.com/mte/hotlineoncall/beer%20chart.jpg

    Bud falls in the blue-but-not-voting quadrant weirdly enough, while Bud Light straddles the dividing line among blue and red non-voters and is scary popular.

    (And we've got the gin, the vodka, and the rum, while they've got the Scotch, the bourbon, and the Canadian whiskey. Gin votes a lot more than vodka, and rum's got to be dragged to the polls, but the whiskeys ALL vote. Let that be a warning to you when you try to park at your polling place in November 2016.)

    ReplyDelete
  133. TGuerrant5:45 PM

    The only thing that ever made Eeyore laugh, the sick fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  134. billcinsd6:00 PM

    Even if he wants to stick to the USA, The Simpsons switched to dumb Homer jokes in like 1992

    ReplyDelete
  135. billcinsd6:04 PM

    yes, who doesn't love Moliere's "The Misanthrope"

    ReplyDelete
  136. billcinsd6:07 PM

    I think it's that Modern Rock was popular in the 80s and 90s. Therefore, the aughts were Post-Modern

    ReplyDelete
  137. billcinsd6:08 PM

    Devo has an answer

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgNdSTV-aRg

    ReplyDelete
  138. billcinsd6:13 PM

    no need currently for a boner?

    ReplyDelete
  139. J Neo Marvin6:20 PM

    The Second Pre-Cambrian Era, if the planet continues on the path it's on now.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Smurch7:01 PM

    This comment is practically perfect in every way.

    ReplyDelete
  141. bgnewhouse9:32 PM

    He might as well have been; pundits have been complaining about dumb men on TV at least since the early 1960s.

    ReplyDelete
  142. AGoodQuestion11:44 PM

    It's precious that Driscoll needs to be protected from advertising that puts verboten thoughts in his head, yet he thinks he's against Nannyism.

    ReplyDelete
  143. AGoodQuestion11:47 PM

    Imagine no possessions
    After these quick messages.

    ReplyDelete
  144. AGoodQuestion11:51 PM

    That's a neat trick, since they don't even have hands.

    ReplyDelete
  145. AGoodQuestion11:55 PM

    And knowing is half the battle.

    ReplyDelete
  146. What... nothing about the Budweiser Clydesdale-and-puppy ad?
    ________________


    Tour du lich Da Nang

    ReplyDelete
  147. mgmonklewis3:12 PM

    "Schock & Awwww-- This fall on NBC!"

    ReplyDelete
  148. Red_cted8:05 PM

    Busch made up for it with their ad making fun of preciously mustachioed urban hipsters daintily sniffing their Belgian Abbey Ales while waiting for their plates of chicken-liver mousse!

    ReplyDelete
  149. freq flag1:06 AM

    Bu-wah-ha-ha-ha-huh-ha-ha-ha!

    ReplyDelete
  150. freq flag1:08 AM

    Devo has an answer
    ...as always.

    ReplyDelete
  151. freq flag1:10 AM

    Thanks, Obama!

    ReplyDelete
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