Sunday, August 24, 2014

NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN UP...

...about Obama's golfing and how it's destroying America. The brethren have been on about this since 2009, of course, but for various reasons it's a hot topic right now.

192 comments:

  1. Mark_B4Zeds6:36 PM

    Yeah, Obama has taken less than half as many vacation days as W through this much of his term of office, but it's twice as bad. It's not like there were any terrorist attacks or problems with the economy during Bush II's time in office. Everything was just peachy,. and that's why he deserved twice as much vacation. Now, watch this drive.

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  2. Zencomix6:42 PM

    Why would anyone want to golf when they could be clearing brush?

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  3. But when that vacation involves golf, their tiny eyes light up.

    Why?

    Because golf is seen as a white people sport. In the same way Obama should only be in the White House keep the place clean for the white president, he should only be on the links as a caddy for a white golfer.

    Also, did I just imagine it or did Cokie Roberts make an ass of herself when she tut-tutted Obama's decision to vacation in Hawaii because it is so "exotic"? The fact that he grew up there was irrelevant. Hawaii isn't for the likes of him!

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  4. satch6:51 PM

    "FORE! Score? And seven trillion rounds ago," the column began, and did not improve thereafter."

    Dear Ms Dowd:

    Tell your story walking, you fucking dimwit.


    Sincerely,

    Zombie Dwight Eisenhower

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  5. satch6:56 PM

    Ah, yes, Bush was in vacation mode, and thus clearly off his game when the CIA briefer dropped in at Crawford with the "Bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S." memo. Otherwise, he'd have been all over it.

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  6. Mark_B4Zeds6:58 PM

    Seriously? That's the opening line? That would be a C- for a junior high level essay. Terrible writing.

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  7. TGuerrant7:13 PM

    Pssst, MoDo's got candy.

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  8. FrenchFriar7:16 PM

    I kinda remember the image of St Ron sitting in Augusta, GA in his jammies with Nancy's slippers on his pretty little toes while we're about to invade that haven of scary Grenadians. Fore, indeed.

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  9. What do you expect from someone whose had a little too many lunch G&Ts over the years?

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  10. mommadillo7:22 PM

    Now, watch this drive.


    If conservatives were capable of shame, those four words would be all the answer needed to counter any right-wing complaints about Obama golfing.

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  11. tigrismus7:24 PM

    Again the he's so terrible and the portions are so small thing with these guys. Look, he'll get RIGHT BACK to destroying America, OK?

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  12. Magatha7:27 PM

    Jeez. I was awakened early this morning by an earthquake shaking the bed like it was an old-timey stagecoach with its wheels falling off. My dog was howling. Then a picture fell on my head. I think there might be a bruise. Nothing else bad happened to me, so I don't really resent that Obama hasn't come to visit and commiserate with me, but damn, he couldn't be bothered to fake enough empathy to give me a quick phone call? All these years I was deluding myself: the guy just does not care.

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  13. FrenchFriar7:28 PM

    Like this:

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  14. satch7:37 PM

    Was this what Peggy Noonan and her fellow Pugs meant when they used to say that Reagan was "comfortable in his own skin"?

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  15. Mark_B4Zeds7:39 PM

    Or anyone else's, to be honest.

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  16. Mark_B4Zeds7:41 PM

    That's nothing. A few months ago, my GF dumped me, and Obama didn't even give it a second thought. Not even a sympathy call.

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  17. Audio77:48 PM

    Didn't he tee it up right after this confab about Operation Urgent Fury ("urgent", really?)?

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  18. redoubtagain7:55 PM

    "He's now played over 190 rounds of golf as president," dudgeoned Republican National Committee president Reince Priebus. "Now, we all deserve some time off. But you have to wonder: where are his priorities?"


    . . .From the people who told America to go shopping after 9/11.

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  19. Socialist Cubone8:13 PM

    It's kind of amazing how well they're getting away with pretending he's taking more time off than Bush, especially since it's so easily quantifiable.

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  20. "i want to stop the swine flu. no, mourn with our polish friends. i want to clear brush. i want to send a message to abu bakr al-baghdadi and all the other terrorist jihadi militants. i want to visit james foley's parents--

    "you'll get nothing, and like it!"

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  21. Oh, that's not even the entire opening line. Brace yourself:

    FORE! Score? And seven trillion rounds ago, our forecaddies brought forth on this continent a new playground, conceived by Robert Trent Jones, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal when it comes to spending as much time on the links as possible — even when it seems totally inappropriate, like moments after making a solemn statement condemning the grisly murder of a 40-year-old American journalist beheaded by ISIL.



    According to our wonderful newsmedia, this is the future of journalism.

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  22. montag28:25 PM

    Yeah, this is funny as hell, because about the only time that Eisenhower didn't go on his weekly golf outing was when he was in the hospital with a heart attack.

    And, his very special, very favorite golf partner was Prescott "So I did business with the Nazis--big deal!" Bush, because Prescott's grandfather created the Walker Cup just because those wankers, the Davises, created a cup for tennis.

    But, Obama is veering dangerously into Caucasian-approved hedonism and dereliction of duty because he wasn't glued to his chair in the Oval Office?

    Geez-O-Pete, there are plenty of reasons to have a hissy fit about what Obama's been doing, but golf, fucking golf (and believe me, I hate the fucking game with a white-hot passion) just isn't one of them.

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  23. gocart mozart8:28 PM

    At least he is not wearing pajamas.

    http://cache2.asset-cache.net/gc/50541112-president-ronald-reagan-in-pajamas-robe-is-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=OCUJ5gVf7YdJQI2Xhkc2QMaB7mP%2B3a3vq%2ByKZuNxBCHcayq5djALO9DTsuxu%2FRhI

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  24. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person8:34 PM

    I honestly believe a lot of these nitwits actually, deep inside, feel a teensy bit foolish about this shit. Way deep inside, where it'll never show, and "tightly held" as the righties like to say these days. Why? Because what this is, except for the real idiots and the unreconstructable racists--two groups whose brains just don't function very well, no matter their ideology--is that they hatehatehate Obama with the heat of a thousand suns, and they must say something--anything bad about him, either on cue, or just as a twitch, and it flat doesn't matter what it is, or if it's at all based in reality. Luckily for them, as that Bush aide, (or Karl Rove, whoever) said, they make their own reality. Many of these people probably have no real opinion of golf at all, but are aiming their blunderbusses at whatever shiny skeet comes flinging over the hedgerow.
    You don't even need the numbers, though they're easy enough to get. Took me 5 minutes. By August, year 6, Obama: 125 vacation days, Bush: 407. Camp David? Obama: 84, Bush: 341. Those numbers are damning if the number of presidential vacation days is the Golden Ruler our Presidents are measured by. You don't need to know that Obama is on track for a total of 140 rounds of golf for his two terms, while Ike played 800. All you need to know, if all this crap means anything, is that during the height of the fucking Cold War, when we were ducking and covering at school, and our parents wished they could afford a fallout shelter, and you didn't need individual crises, because every fucking day was a crisis, and WE WERE ALL ABOUT TO DIE!, Ike, a republican President, played 800 rounds of fucking golf...
    And it didn't matter a tinker's damn.

    My most heartfelt wish for all the rightbloggers is that they please, please, grow the fuck up.

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  25. gocart mozart8:38 PM

    How good a golfer is he? The experts way in:

    1 John F. Kennedy Despite chronic back pain, averaged 80.

    2 Dwight D. Eisenhower Had
    a green outside the Oval Office.

    3 Gerald R. Ford Clumsy, but was a legitimate 80s-shooter.

    4 Franklin D. Roosevelt
    At 39, polio robbed him of a powerful golf swing.

    5 George H.W. Bush Once got his handicap down to 11.

    6 George W. Bush Outgoing prez is a capable 15-handicapper.

    7 Bill Clinton Can break 90, especially using his "Billigans."

    8 Barack Obama The lefty plays more hoops than golf.

    9 Ronald Reagan Didn't play often or well (best was low 90s).

    10 Warren G. Harding
    Struggled to break 95.

    11 William Howard Taft
    As hapless a golfer as he was
    a chief executive.

    12 Woodrow Wilson
    Played more than Ike but
    almost never broke 100.

    13 Richard M. Nixon He shot
    79 once and quit the game.

    14 Lyndon B. Johnson Played with senators to secure votes for the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

    15 Calvin Coolidge When he vacated the White House, he left his clubs behind.
    http://www.golfdigest.com/magazine/2009-02/presidentsranking

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  26. gocart mozart8:44 PM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCm9788Tb5g

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  27. ColBatGuano8:44 PM

    I think she's still suffering the aftereffects of her trip to Colorado. That must have been some good weed.

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  28. dmsilev8:50 PM

    I guess Maureen Dowd should feel proud: Look, there are people actually *reading* her column!


    OK, "people", but it's a start.

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  29. At least they could shut the fuck up. Six yrs. of this crap isn't enough?

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  30. As the Voice of America's Stockholders & Jerb Creators I demand the names of every corporate executive who has ever hit the links on a wknd. following a decline in share prices.

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  31. Fats Durston9:08 PM

    IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET.

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  32. Mark_B4Zeds9:09 PM

    OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!

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  33. Or that he grew up somewhere "exotic" ("Too diverse" for Sarah Palin.) & therefore has not lived the American Experience.

    A winner either way.

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  34. Doesn't quite match the "highly polished yada" of her first encounter:I first saw President Reagan as a foot, highly polished brown cordovan wagging merrily on a hassock. I spied it through the door. It was a beautiful foot, sleek. Such casual elegance and clean lines! But not a big foot, not formidable, maybe a little ...frail. I imagined cradling it in my arms, protecting it from unsmooth roads.The robe matching the "decor" is the most unsettling.

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  35. Mark_B4Zeds9:23 PM

    Please: 'weigh in' not 'way in'. Thanks!


    Actually, it's an interesting link. I wonder how Obama ranks on the list.

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  36. Socialist Cubone9:24 PM

    'Goldstein also showed pictures of Obama laughing at the golf course, and suggested this might have been because "somebody said something about Jennifer Lopez's badonkadonk. Cause that shit is bumpin', amiright?"'



    So Jeff Goldstein hasn't left his house since 2002, is that what he's trying to tell us?

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  37. Believe it or shove it, none of the reactionaries have connected Obama's golfing w/ Agenda 21 & The War on Golf.


    My assumption is the Prez golfs to demonstrate solidarity w/ his corporate owners against the United Nations.

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  38. If that's what it takes to shut them the hell up ...

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  39. Tehanu9:42 PM

    I'm just surprised they haven't used the word "shiftless." Yet.

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  40. gocart mozart9:48 PM

    FOX is reporting that this is the guy who beheaded the American journalist James Foley.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkvWTgj98-4

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  41. I figured you would be on board...
    ~

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  42. montag210:10 PM

    Just try to imagine the howls and screams coming from the mouthbreathers if Obama showed up in jodhpurs and riding boots like our demented friend in the photo above.

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  43. PersonaAuGratin10:17 PM

    Cokie deserved a Nice Hawaiian Punch for that one.

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  44. Hemidemisemiquaver10:19 PM

    "he wasn't glued to his chair in the Oval Office"

    And, of course, if Obama was always in the White House and hardly ever took a vacation, that would be criticized too.

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  45. Gee, and yet just a few years ago the usual suspects threw a shit fit when the preznit's <a href="http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/politics/assets_c/2011/08/hip%20hop%20bbq-thumb-600x426-59875.png>birthday gala</a> was seen as lording his blahness over the American people. And now that he's playing the traditional white man's sport, he's being "uppity." It's almost like the man can't win.

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  46. montag210:27 PM

    Rick Perlstein, in The Invisible Bridge says that Reagan, from twelve or thirteen, became keenly aware of any cameras in his vicinity and would inevitably play to them whenever possible.

    I suspect there was some discussion before this very opportune photo shoot about what sort of Hollywood costuming touch "Dutch" could bring to it, to tell the sort of story his handlers needed to have told.

    It's also not the photo from that time that's most often circulated--the one where he's supposedly just been awakened and told of the impending (well, not really, it took `em over a week) invasion and he looks in it like befuddlement personified.

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  47. montag210:33 PM

    "He's so uptight. He doesn't know how to relax."

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  48. montag210:35 PM

    Godlstein hasn't been back to this planet since 2002.

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  49. DocAmazing10:40 PM

    The Brethren will never learn: when in a hole, stop putting.

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  50. montag210:46 PM

    IIRC, the joke at the time was that, of course, it was urgent. The med students were in danger of graduating.

    I wish Frontline had kept their program on OUF in the archives, because it was a doozy. I still remember one artillery spotter revealing himself to be nearly apoplectic when they handed out tourist maps to direct fire. "What am I going to say? Put a round just to the left of that local attraction?"

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  51. oaguabonita10:49 PM

    He's so bad a golfer it's destroying America???

    That's hard to believe. There's that video of him nailing a 3-pointer on the basketball court, suggesting at minimum pretty good coordination and athleticism. How bad could he be at golf, even if trying (to be bad, I mean)? Think Michael Jordan (ok, so his attempted comeback reincarnated as a pro golfer was a bust [I'm not making that up, am I? Don't really follow such things, just think I remember hearing about it] -- didn't he try that with baseball, too?)



    Anyway, if Obummer can even occasionally nail a 3-pointer, it's hard to believe he could be so bad at golf (especially given a lot of practice he's had) as to precipitate claims of destroying America.

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  52. AGoodQuestion10:51 PM

    If Maureen Dowd is a "narrative journalist", my meth dealer cousin can call himself a "pharmaceutical consultant", right?

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  53. StringOnAStick10:57 PM

    We aim to please here, but we're also mostly not so stupid that we chow down a 20-dose pot candy bar at one sitting. Which is what the people who sold it to MoDo expressly told her not to do.

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  54. AngryWarthogBreath10:59 PM

    Hawaii: Exotic, Diverse, Not Really America If You Really Look At It, Right? I Mean It's Not Even Connected To The (shot by Sarah Palin. after eighteen misses.)

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  55. AGoodQuestion11:02 PM

    Do these bozos remember that Daniel Pearl happened on Dubya's watch? And for that matter, I'm pretty sure it happened before he gave up golf. Not that I would have drawn a line between the two things back then, because that would have been a remarkably stupid and crass thing to do.

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  56. AngryWarthogBreath11:02 PM

    If Maureen Dowd is a narrative journalist, I can call myself Odin, King of Kings, Chooser of the Slain, God of War, Death, and Poetry. Your meth-providing chemical entrepreneur is practically already a pharmaceutical consultant; Maureen Dowd may not actually be close enough to narrative journalism to smell anyone else's bullshit. (Her own, of course, is just overpowering.)

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  57. AngryWarthogBreath11:03 PM

    As Some Guy I demand the heads of every corporate executive.

    ...Huh, I was going to keep quoting, but that sentence really looks finished there.

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  58. AGoodQuestion11:06 PM

    The NYT magazine is soaking in it.

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  59. AGoodQuestion11:07 PM

    Also, did I just imagine it or did Cokie Roberts make an ass of herself
    I only had to read that far to conclude that you didn't imagine it.

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  60. AngryWarthogBreath11:08 PM

    I think the Constitution guarantees that Obama must organise you at least one blind date with someone with which he genuinely believes you to be compatible, or a night of beer, television watching, and sympathy. The lack thereof is totally grounds for impeachment.

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  61. montag211:13 PM

    "Do these bozos remember that Daniel Pearl happened on Dubya's watch?"

    Umm, no. They don't even remember Bush, or seems that way.

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  62. AGoodQuestion11:14 PM

    Especially since it took so much out of them to substitute "arrogant" for "uppity."

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  63. AGoodQuestion11:16 PM

    I'd like to pass out drunk at the 19th hole with this comment.

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  64. or shirtless.

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  65. gocart mozart11:47 PM

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—G.O.P. chief Reince Priebus ripped
    President Obama on Sunday for consuming three meals a day while on
    vacation in Martha’s Vineyard. “With international crises boiling over in Iraq, Syria, and Ukraine, it’s unconscionable that the President is having breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” he said. The White House defended the President’s eating habits, noting that his predecessor, George W. Bush, frequently supplemented his three meals a day with an afternoon snack, but Priebus was unmoved by this argument. “It sends a very dangerous message to our enemies to see President Obama eating,” he said.
    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/critics-blast-obamas-three-meals-day

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  66. PersonaAuGratin12:42 AM

    I recall that one of the knocks on Jimmy Carter was that he was too much of a "micro-manager."

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  67. Wrangler1:21 AM

    You should have ended this sentence at "golf".

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  68. Glock H. Palin, Esq.1:33 AM

    "despite warnings from experts, including former CIA Deputy Director
    Mike Morell, that this development is a direct threat to America's
    safety and should be met with a strong military response, Obama was
    reportedly not troubled enough to cancel his latest round of golf."


    Because not golfing is how the president signals to the Joint Chiefs that he want's them to put together a "strong military response"?

    If it weren't for non-sequiturs, they wouldn't have no sequiturs at all.

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  69. Wrangler1:36 AM

    If she were on weed she would still be reflecting on what an asshole she has turned out to be, while also abstractly resolving to change her asshole ways in the future.

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  70. Glock H. Palin, Esq.1:41 AM

    "He spends so much time inside the beltway he's lost touch with the American People."

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  71. Wrangler1:43 AM

    Ok that National Review article headline is pretty great, but I would suggest the following edit:


    "Golf: Much More Fun than a Polish Funeral?"

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  72. DocAmazing1:44 AM

    Golf might even be more fun than swine flu.

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  73. TGuerrant1:44 AM

    Especially if you're a swine.

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  74. Glock H. Palin, Esq.1:46 AM

    Yes, but why are they having a meeting in my great aunt's drawing room?

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  75. AngryWarthogBreath1:55 AM

    Reading a children's book, plainly, is how the President signals to the Joint Chiefs that blurgle smaigle my brain fell out.

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  76. Baron Elmo2:01 AM

    If Obama rushed to visit James Foley's parents instead of hitting the
    links, the wingnut universe would explode like the goddamn Fourth of
    July with headlines like "OBAMA BARGES IN ON GRIEVING PARENTS",
    "SHOW-OFF BARACK HOGS THE SPOTLIGHT", or "OBAMA THINKS IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM!"

    Too bad we can't harness the power of conservative spin to light our cities, cause it's a mighty big source of wasteful energy. Guess we'll have to settle for the laughs.

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  77. Wrangler2:02 AM

    It gets worse: I heard that at Obama's courses all the greens are arugula.

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  78. AngryWarthogBreath2:04 AM

    And Michelle makes you EAT them. That's how they get mowed. Specifically to ensure that they don't hire an ordinary American who needs a job to do the mowing.

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  79. davdoodles2:18 AM

    "...this development is a direct threat to America's safety and should be met with a strong military response, [but] Obama was reportedly not troubled enough to cancel his latest round of golf."

    That might be because he's the President.

    Of the U.S. of. A. With all the power, goons, and resources that gig comes with.

    Then again, conservatives generally are, and have a habit of electing, gibbering mouthbreathers who can't chew gum and walk at the same time. So maybe their confusion is understandable.
    .

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  80. montag22:20 AM

    I can hear the "Mandingo" comments as we speak.

    Not to mention the mass shirt-tucking and clucking.

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  81. montag22:22 AM

    Some would disagree.

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  82. MichaelNewsham3:11 AM

    Yeah, I remember that. She suggested he go someplace 'normal' like Boca Raton She also seemed unaware that for millions of people in the Mountain and Pacioc West, Hawaii is a very normal, fairly cheap place to visit - package deals for $600. Easterners!

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  83. MichaelNewsham3:23 AM

    Tea-Partier A: " That Kenyan Marxist terrorist-loving usurper Obama has devoted every moment of his presidency to detroying free-enterprise, liberty, and the American way in order to enslave us to the communist feminist shariah Muslim homosexual internationalist agenda."
    Tea-Partier B: "Yeah, and he's always taking vacations."

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  84. Ah, but basketball is the game of those people. Obama playing basketball is more proof that he's a street hood.

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  85. Yikes, I hope you're OK. (Despite the President's callous indifference to your suffering.)

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  86. Or if they do remember him it is as a STEALTH LIBERAL. And I can't recall the last time they mentioned Bush I, at all.

    It's St. Ron or nothing for that crowd.

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  87. Those assholes couldn't even synch their Breaking news ribbon with their top story.

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  88. Robert William Alexander Jr.6:27 AM

    This is almost a trope: any recreation of a political opponent is an opportunity to bash them..I'm reminded of a poem (and can't seem to find it's source, but it was in my missing copy of R. Cole's "the Fireside Book of Humorous Poetry") that I think dated from WW1 and was directed at a golfing Lord of the British Admiralty:

    "It was terrible on that day when the Germans landed;

    all our armies ran away, all our ships were stranded;

    and, to my surprise and shame

    It :almost put me off my game..."

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  89. Derelict7:19 AM

    If by "journalism" you mean "things written by a catty 15-year-old who has not paid attention in English class."

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  90. Derelict7:25 AM

    "Eisenhower plays golf? What's his handicap?"
    "Most people say it's Nixon."

    Ba-dup, chsssssssssssss!

    Thanks, I'll be here all week.

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  91. mortimer20007:45 AM

    It's no wonder golf is the most popular "sport" of Wall Streeters and other corporate types. It's one of the few games where poor and mediocre players are assigned "handicaps" so that they can play against their elitist superiors without getting their fee-fees hurt. After all, something has to be done about golf inequality, dammit! Of course, while they socialize their risk-taking in the real world with government bailouts, they privatize their socialism at the country club.

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  92. redoubtagain7:52 AM

    His jacket has his name on it, so I assume that the mittens are clipped to his jacket and he has his ten cents for his half-pint of milk in one of those pockets.

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  93. mortimer20007:56 AM

    It turns out she wasn't imagining the cradling. They had to pry her off with a promise of White House bourbon.

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  94. I never thought about golf that way. That does seem like a strange way to run a competition.

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  95. "A good walk spoiled."

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  96. Helmut Monotreme8:33 AM

    Then they will complain because we didn't warn them.

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  97. "Golf Much More Fun Than A Polish Funeral." Having spent my time on the links, I'm not sure I'd agree, though I've never been to a Polish funeral; for all I know, a Polish funeral is a laff riot. However:



    "Diarrhea much more fun than a Polish funeral."
    "Poke in the eye with sharp stick much more fun than a Polish funeral."
    "Night in jail much more fun than a Polish funeral."
    "Root canal much more fun than a Polish funeral."


    In other words, as big a pain in the ass as golf may be, it probably really is much more fun than a Polish funeral. Which is as it should be.

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  98. And with your great aunt's robe and slippers, looks like.

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  99. ". . . and his hair was perfect."

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  100. I actually cannot fault Nixon for that.

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  101. satch9:03 AM

    The nice thing about alcoholic dementia is that it helps explain otherwise inexplicable writing.

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  102. satch9:08 AM

    You joke, but last week in our local Sunday paper there was a comment reprinted from the paper's website from a guy who could no longer support Obama because when he was running for president he promised to "inspire us", and this yutz no longer felt "inspired". Jesus, these people...

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  103. Tears again, goddammit. (And no, I didn't mean to downvote you. Mistake!)

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  104. Lancelot Link9:15 AM

    I can't imagine why these people would be so upset at the sight of a black man whacking white balls with a metal club.

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  105. This shit hit the pages of the NY Times last week, with weasel words like "some critics" appended to it. The grey lady doesn't need a white hood.

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  106. glennisw9:22 AM

    If he frowned and stayed indoors, it would only go to prove their point that he's elitist and out of touch. Why isn't he out in the sunlight and fresh air?

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  107. glennisw9:23 AM

    That damned tyrant Obama made the Icelandic volcano blow up so he could keep on his mom-jeans wearing vacation. The thug.

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  108. TGuerrant9:26 AM

    You win today's internets.

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  109. satch9:26 AM

    (and believe me, I hate the fucking game with a white-hot passion)

    Wow... what did golf ever do to you? I realize that it can be difficult to separate the game played by Scottish shepherds to kill time out on the linksland and the grotesque Easter sunrise service that the Masters has become, but I blame Mary Queen Of Scots for that, not the game itself.

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  110. glennisw9:31 AM

    I am now recalling the media and republican accolades that once Carter and bibles and his moth-eaten cardigans and solar panels were out of the office, America would rejoice that Reagan brought GLAMOUR back into the White House.


    that's right, "Hollywood elitism" was celebrated as a breath of fresh air!

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  111. glennisw9:32 AM

    Those slippers are NOT cordovan.

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  112. No. No fucking way.

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  113. satch9:48 AM

    It's actually all about gambling. Our elitist superiors often demand that their companions play for money, especially if they think they're good, and golf is notorious for having more gambling angles and side action than any other sport you can name. If it weren't for handicaps, no one who wasn't a scratch golfer would play for money.

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  114. sharculese9:50 AM

    Dude knows that Obama is not running for anything, probably never again right?

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  115. Derelict9:54 AM

    I wonder if that writer was a life-long Democrat who found that 9-11 made him outraged about Chappaquidic?

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  116. glennisw9:54 AM

    Brownies.

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  117. Derelict9:57 AM

    Golf: A game for people who think they're just not boring enough.

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  118. Derelict10:04 AM

    Some of us remember the non-stop chant of "Bush kept us safe from terrorism!" Which was true if you don't count the single greatest terrorist attack on Americans in U.S. history. And you don't count the anthrax attacks. Or Kobar Towers.

    As Shakezula points out, today's conservatives don't like to remember any president with the last name of Bush. As far as they're concerned, there was Reagan, followed by the disaster for America known as Clinton, followed by the first non-American president socialist Kenyan usurper Islamist.

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  119. Derelict10:05 AM

    It's not that he's bad at golf--it's that he doesn't replace his divots.

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  120. Any game is boring to people who don't play it. Football bores me into a coma.

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  121. Classic. And I guarantee you, nobody laughs at that sketch harder than golfers.

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  122. DerBrunoStroszek11:10 AM

    "Why isn't he panicking? That's not leadership!"

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  123. Adrian11:13 AM

    I remember George H. W. Bush went golfing on the first day of the Gulf War.

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  124. anonymouse11:17 AM

    Ok, confession. One of the best parts of being a well off black person in a mostly white country that still has massive race issues is how much it annoys some white people. I love seeing them double take because I own a BMW and live in a nice house. You can almost see them think 'Hey! He's black! He should have those nice things!" After all the shit I have to put up with, their delicious tears of impotent rage are the least they can do for me.

    I know it makes me a bad person, but I kinda really like it. It really brings home how much of a mental illness racism is when one's world can be shattered by one black guy golfing or driving by in a nice car while Mr White Power is waiting for the bus to nowhere in the rain.

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  125. RogerAiles11:21 AM

    But it would improve the view of MoDo considerably.

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  126. anonymouse11:22 AM

    In fairness, they were all white presidents, so they didn't need to work as hard. Black people, being inherently inferior to the master race that produced George W Bush (president, two terms), have to spend every moment of their lives concentrating real hard in case they spontaneously break into song, shine someone's shoes, or wink at a white lady. Golf is a terrible distraction under such circumstances.

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  127. anonymouse11:31 AM

    The funny thing is, in general, when you see a successful minority (a black doctor, female engineer, etc.) you can rest assured that person had to work 4 times as hard as everyone else *and* never ever fuck up ever just to be thought competent. It means they are really, really damn good at whatever it is they do, as opposed to people who just float along on a tide of privilege.

    Once you survive the bullshit and trauma of succeeding when most people actively and passively worked against you, for no reason other than what you are, you are a damn weapon forged in the fires of a volcano out of a lock of hair cut from god himself (yes, that is what my degree says, what's it to ya?).

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  128. AngryWarthogBreath11:31 AM

    Schadenfreude may not exactly be a virtue, but when deployed against the assholes of humanity, it is a well-earned indulgence and probably good for keeping body and soul together.


    ...In this case the assholes of humanity are the metaphorical assholes. Not, you know, human assholes. Though I suppose one could probably manage a "Hah! Of all the orifices around you have by FAR the worst job."

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  129. Derelict11:32 AM

    And what makes your experience all the more, well, something is that, despite your success, your credentials, your status symbols--you're still considered suspicious. And I mean suspicious as in, you're black and therefore probably a criminal.

    White people will never know the joy of being shadowed by store security because of your skin color. Or how great it is to be pulled over and searched for driving while Black. Or how cool it is that you can be harassed by the cops just for walking around the block.

    Racism is a mental illness, but it's one that our society as a whole suffers from. I don't know what the cure might be.

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  130. On the list of "disgusting and revolting things presidents have said," I wonder if this one has an equal. Oh, wait: "Bring it on." Oh, wait again: "I just don't spend too much time thinking about him." No wonder Republicans don't talk about Bush.

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  131. anonymouse11:41 AM

    Honestly, the only cure might be all of us living together for long enough that it just goes away. I keep an informal tally of accidentally racist things my wife's family say (she's mortified, but like I tell her, we know when it's an accident and when it's not) and they are less and less frequent as time goes on, without me having to lecture them or ever mention it. Not that I used to. I'm not Nelson Mandela for random white people, they'll have to achieve racial transcendence without my help.

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  132. LookWhosInTheFreezer11:47 AM

    If only Obama had different hobbies, I'm sure these loons would be much less outraged. Ok, who are we kidding:


    Football- He can't even throw a tight spiral. Much like his pathetic throw, his presidency is spiraling out of control!


    Soccer- He hates America. Collectivist.


    Baseball- Of course he would pick the sport where you mostly stand around doing nothing. And look at that rag-arm, har, har!


    Basketball- Thuggity, thug, thug.


    Tennis- Elitist! Besides shouldn't he be wearing a skirt? Unlike Arthur Ashe, Obummer is no unifier.


    NASCAR- (racist joke about stolen car)


    Hunting- He's using the wrong ammo/gun/holding it wrong/outfit shows he's never hunted before etc.


    Boxing- Chicago Thug Politics


    Hockey- You know who else loves hockey...the Soviets!!!


    Ultimate Frisbee- Look at that limp wrist.


    Mixed Martial Arts- Of course he wouldn't dare do something more American, like karate.


    Etc...

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  133. BG, watery tart11:53 AM

    Running would be his safest choice for all the obvious reasons.

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  134. BG, watery tart11:53 AM

    "Now watch this drive!"

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  135. LookWhosInTheFreezer12:00 PM

    He trashed the fairway. And it wasn't HIS FAIRWAY!

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  136. LookWhosInTheFreezer12:02 PM

    +1600 meters

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  137. gocart mozart12:03 PM

    FDR's handicap was so extraordinary that ...

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  138. People who see you on a regular basis will either continue to feel disturbed (in which case, fuck them) or they'll get over it (fuck them for being disturbed in the first place).

    I don't judge. I get a giggle out of the white tourists from monochromatic America. It is good fun to watch them slide into culture shock as they're confronted with more non-whites than they could ever imagine going about their business. Often in suits and ties!

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  139. Rugosa12:03 PM

    I'm of Polish decent, and I seriously protest. Golf is not nearly as much fun as a Polish funeral. Probably the only thing more fun than a Polish funeral is an Irish wake.

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  140. "He must be fleeing the scene of a crime!"

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  141. Skrreeee! Affirmative Action! You took that spot from a deserving [white Christian male] person!

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  142. Umm... do you have a business card?

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  143. mgmonklewis12:58 PM

    I would like to read passages from the Poetic Edda with Huginn, Muninn, and this comment.

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  144. mgmonklewis1:00 PM

    "Golf is a good walk spoiled." —M. Twain

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  145. mgmonklewis1:03 PM

    It's the literary equivalent of handing a chimp a bucket of bolts and an arc welder.

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  146. mgmonklewis1:05 PM

    I should've read the entire thread before using that quote above. My apologies.

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  147. No apology required. Now, please send your check or money order to BR-549.

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  148. Derelict1:56 PM

    Why bother when they can just circulate emails with pictures of Obama with a bone through his nose, or watermelons on the White House lawn, or editorial cartoons showing Michelle with a large derriere or Obama as a sperm donor for Mexican women crossing the border?

    The real surprise is that nobody of national note has called him a nigger in public. Yet.

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  149. Derelict1:57 PM

    Or a newsletter?

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  150. drspittle1:59 PM

    Golf is "flog" spelled backward.

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  151. Derelict2:00 PM

    But nobody gives the chimp a paycheck when the carnage is over, do they?

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  152. Yes but he can now oppose anything that Obama supports or might have supported or has the letters A, B, M or O in it.

    See also "I used to support gay rights, but a gay man was rude to me once so now I support Westburrow Baptist Church."

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  153. The mere fact of his running, and winning, is what caused them to lose their shit in the first place.

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  154. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:09 PM

    First would have to come the growing up. Only *then* would we see the shutting of the piehole...

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  155. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:11 PM

    Problem is, proving 'em wrong only makes 'em screech louder.

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  156. He. Didn't. Even. Try.

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  157. ohsopolite4:43 PM

    Who will be the pioneer in the growth sector field of Blowhard Energy, which at the current rate of production of its base material could well surpass wind and solar combined?

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  158. ohsopolite4:48 PM

    "How far in? Like, way in, mannnnn...."

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  159. "Tell your story walking" deserves a YouTube reference, but it appears not to be there. One of my favorite movies, too. Schade.

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  160. You spelled the church name wrong, but it was still funny.

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  161. I never thought of it that way. Makes perfect sense.

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  162. montag25:25 PM

    That's very true. And they still haven't gotten all the Hollywood glitter and the Raggedy Andy make-up they used on Reagan out of the White House carpets.

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  163. ADHDJ5:26 PM

    "Twice as good, half as far."

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  164. ADHDJ5:32 PM

    I was having a bad day the other day and Obama didn't even bother to ask me what was up. Sure, Obots will say he was just being polite, but the fact is, He. Didn't. Even. Pry.

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  165. montag25:34 PM

    Just in the interest of fairness, the Kobar towers attack occurred during Clinton's first term. The elder Bush was indirectly responsible since he created the no-fly zones that required American service personnel to be in Saudi Arabia in the first place, something that Clinton should have had the smarts to end, but did not. The ground military and the Air Force had been drooling over the prospects of land bases in the Middle East for decades, and I guess they were very persuasive. Still--as with Somalia--Clinton should have seen trouble coming.

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  166. Derelict5:38 PM

    I'm confused (obviously). Wasn't there some big al Qaeda attack in Saudi Arabia that killed a bunch of US personnel while the Shrub was in office?


    Why, yes indeed.

    Got my Saudi disasters crossed.

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  167. montag25:51 PM

    Yeah, Vinnell is a favorite target of the loonies, because it has the contract to train the Saudi National Guard (effectively, the palace guards of Saudi Arabia--their job is to protect the royals). The attack in 1995 that preceded Khobar was on a Vinnell building, too, IIRC.

    Easy to get `em mixed up without a scorecard.

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  168. ADHDJ5:51 PM

    It's narrative journalism, just with an unreliable narrator. Think of her as Dumbert Dumbert, or Ignatius J. Highly.

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  169. montag26:03 PM

    George H.W. Bush is reputed to have gone golfing the day after burying the older of his two daughters, who'd died at the age of four in 1953, of leukemia.

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  170. montag26:10 PM

    "Wow... what did golf ever do to you?"

    Now, that's a long story not worth the retelling....

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  171. montag26:14 PM

    I'm thinking at this moment of George Carlin's line about people who end up in jobs that require them to have their names on their shirts.

    Kinda funny that Leader of the Free World (and, boy, does that moniker ever piss off the French) is one of those jobs....

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  172. TGuerrant6:49 PM

    This must be why Rush doesn't sing Barack, the Magic Negro anymore.

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  173. philadelphialawyer7:01 PM

    ----Also maybe because golf smacks of the leisured class. Of folks so well off that they can take time off, during a weekday, when most folks are working for a living, to go golfing. Like the way Wednesday, I believe, used to be golfing day for physicians.





    -----And so how dare Obama be doing this!!!1!!1!??!? Even though he is on vacation. Even though they said nary a word when Bush II went golfing (or fooled around with the "brush" on his livestock-free "ranch"). Presidents are not factory workers. They get to have some leisure time, and in nice, even fancy, places, like Martha's Vineyard and Hawaii, and they get to play golf if they want to. Unless they are Democrats, and, yeah, unless they are Black.





    -----And that combines nicely with the notion that Obama can't be bothered with X, Y or Z problem. Trouble at the border, and Obama is golfing. Trouble in St Louis suburb, and Obama is golfing. US journo be headed in Iraq, and Obama is golfing, etc. etc. As if Obama cancelling his golf game would accomplish.....what, exactly? And as if they would not be the first to scream their heads off about Obama involving himself in everything if he went to St Louis, or to the border, etc. Or, he did, like they would not be telling us how much his "political" visit cost the country. And as if Obama is not informed about the problem, and is not acting through his subordinates, through signing executive orders and making other decisions. No, he must drop everything, including his occasional bit of recreation, and put on a sack cloth. Except that then he would be grandstanding, and doing more harm than good, and they would say he should go on vacation and play golf!

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  174. DocAmazing7:15 PM

    I'm not Nelson Mandela for random white people
    Now there's an opportunity waiting to be monetized.

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  175. TGuerrant8:06 PM

    Obama should take up horseback riding.

    Doesn't need to get any more buff. Just the sight of his black ass drives 'em wild.

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  176. Derelict9:33 PM

    Look at Obama in this picture, and then consider how gray he's become. Being president really takes it out of you.

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  177. montag210:14 PM

    Recall that many sports had (and have) the same problem. Jack Johnson discovered that about boxing long before Joe Louis arrived on the scene (and Joe Louis would have gotten as much shit as did Ali were it not for the fact that his bout with Max Schmeling was touted as a matter of democracy against fascism). It's still rare as chicken teeth to find a black guy in stock car racing, as Wendell Scott and Willy T. Ribbs discovered. No need to mention just how much shit Jackie Robinson took to play in the majors, or how many death threats Hank Aaron got when he was about to break the Babe's lifetime homerun record. Or that Charlie Sifford, the first black PGA player, got his share of death threats, too.

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  178. montag210:41 PM

    But "Westburrow" makes the Phelps Gang sound like demented hobbits.

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  179. AGoodQuestion11:09 PM

    Pretty sure that was intentional.

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  180. AGoodQuestion11:10 PM

    S-same sex marriage took our preciousssss!

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  181. cleter11:22 PM

    Imagine the hideous Cryptkeeper that President McCain would've become.

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  182. AGoodQuestion11:25 PM

    "Some critics" = "my FRIEND can only get it on with his girl when she wears one of his mother's old wigs."

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  183. Alas, you did not imagine it.

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  184. Racial transcendence sounds painful. Like molting.

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  185. redoubtagain8:11 AM

    you are a damn weapon forged in the fires of a volcano out of a lock of hair cut from god himself

    Oh so very much this. I've been saying for years: Obama survived South Side Chicago politics. Everything else is a cakewalk.

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  186. Derelict9:25 AM

    Aren't they the hobbits who told Gandalf, "Never meddle in the affairs of drag queens"?

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  187. geraldo nosebrawl10:23 AM

    The golfing meme is rather inspired, because it lets them combine several submemes in one convenient image: "Lazy Colored Folk, Skylarking Instead of Working"...."Impudent Colored Folk, Aping The Customs of Their Betters" (aka "puttin on the ritz")...and finally a soupcon of "Those Out Of Touch Country Club Elitists".

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  188. Skwerlhugger10:35 AM

    I would have assumed they think "Hey! He's black! He must be a drug dealer or pimp!". So that's progress.

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  189. Smarter than Your Average Bear10:57 AM

    But, but, but - he's from Kenya and you don't get much more exotic than Africa!

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  190. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:33 PM

    ProTip: If you're sticking your putter in the hole, you're playing the wrong game. But you might still get your balls washed...

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